John Kelly
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, June 3, 2005
1:00 PM
John Kelly writes five times a week about the joys and annoyances of living in Washington. He aims to show readers the Washington (and Silver Spring, Alexandria, Manassas, Bowie ...) that they know and take them places they don't know. He wants to make them see familiar things in unfamiliar ways and unfamiliar things in familiar ways. ("We may occasionally end up seeing unfamiliar things in unfamiliar ways," John says, "but such are the risks of the job.") His columns take a cockeyed view of the place the rest of the planet knows as the Capital of the Free World but that we all call home. John rides the Metro for fun and once kidnapped an Irishman to see what made him tick.
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John Kelly: Friday is always a little weird when Monday is a holiday. Doncha think? We spent last weekend in Wilmington, N.C. We're forever driving up and down I-95, with all the horror that entails: the accidents, the backups, the boredom. This time we tried something different. We left at 3 a.m. on Saturday morning, and then came back at 3 a.m. on Tuesday. It actually worked. We encountered a few weaving drivers when we first started out--late-night drunks, I suppose. But for the first time in a long time we didn't hit traffic jams right and left. This may be our New Way.
To recap the columns this week: Monday was a look back at Hot Shoppes. Tuesday was a grab bag, including a new contest (write your own cheesy Hint from Heloise). Wednesday we kicked off this year's Send a Kid to Camp campaign. Thursday my assistant Julia Feldmeier introduced a young counselor-in-training from Camp Moss Hollow. And today I toot my own bicycle horn. But enough about me...
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Washington, D.C.: Sweetie - you wear COTTON SWEATPANTS?
John Kelly: That was my big mistake. That and not putting my cell phone in a plastic bag. (I had to buy a new one. Say, I should have charged that to The Post as a work-related expense.)
I think shorts would have been better than sweatpants, even though it was chilly. At least then I wouldn't have had these waterlogged things weighing me down. I'm pretty hopeless when it comes to correct exercise dress. What should I be wearing? Lycra? Spandex? Lycrex?
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Washington, D.C. : John,
I hope this is the correct venue for my comment, so here it goes. I would like to send my compliments to the Express carrier that works at L'Enfant Plaza, DOT exit, in the evenings. She is always friendly, outgoing, and puts extra effort into her job. For example, the day of the first home Nationals game she was broadcasting, "Get your Express and read about our Nationals. DC has a home team for the -first- time in 34 years." It's the extra mile she takes every day that makes her stand out in my mind. It's the best customer service I have seen in a while. If you can, please forward my comment to the appropriate people if they missed this chat. Thanks!;
John Kelly: I will. Christopher Ma is the publisher of Express and I know he'll want to hear that. Speaking of free publications: A lone Examiner showed up on my front lawn this week, like a migrating bird blown off course. The Examiner hawkers are gone from the Silver Spring Metro, though.
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Washington, D.C.: As I was reading the article in today's Style section about the Felt family, I couldn't help but notice the coincidence that they live on Redford Place! (As in Robert Redford in the movie All the President's Men!). Did anyone else notice? I don't think the writer of the article made the connection...
John Kelly: I thought the same thing. Isn't that fitting? And Redford is who played Woodward in the movie. (I'm hoping John Cusack will play me.)
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No Taste of D.C. This Year: Am I the only one disappointed that this year's Taste of D.C. was cancelled? I didn't know about the cancellation until your Thursday paper.
It quoted one food vendor as saying they had been notified in April. Why weren't we notified then?
And why did it take organizers so long - duh - to decide maybe it was a bad weekend for it. Geez!
John Kelly: That was pretty stupid. I remember when it was over Columbus Day weekend. Sure, it was occasionally chilly, but I actually remember more lovely, sunny Mondays than total rain outs. Maybe the person in charge of telling Washington officials that a plane was barreling towards the White House was in charge of notifying everyone about the Taste of D.C. date change.
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Jessup, Md.: My one comment is I usually enjoy your column but was really bored and not at all intersted in you columns last week concerning the waste disposal articles. One or two would have sufficed but a whole week made me think "Not interested".
John Kelly: Not even the surprise ending? Where it turns out we're all just batteries in a huge simulacrum of reality controlled by an alien intelligence?
Okay, point taken. I obviously won't do trash again, but I like doing these week-long explorations on a single topic. I don't know what the next one will be. Suggestions?
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Washington D.C.: John-
While it's nice to know the secret behind Deep Throat, don't you think that Felt's decision and timing reek of greed? The family isn't saying anything...as they search around for a high-paying book deal. Didn't the daughter even admit that it would be a good opportunity to pay some family bills?
John Kelly: I've been wondering this myself, and I don't know what I think. Yes, it does sound greedy. They basically wanted to be paid for the admission, in Vanity Fair or People. No magazine agreed to do that, so they revealed it in Vanity Fair anyway, with the hope that it might spur a book deal.
But what's another word for "greedy"? It must be hard to watch other people get rich off dubious achievements. Or to see Bob Woodward make money with a story that you helped along. While they're not poor, it doesn't sound like they're well off. So why not let them earn a bit of money?
What's important, I think, is that Mark Felt helped Woodward in the first place, taking an enormous risk. He may have had an ax to grind, but I think history has pretty much proven that he did the right thing.
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Washington, D.C.: Good morning, John! Did you ride your bike to work today? Well, even if you didn't, your excellent pro-biking article allows you today off. I didn't see you there among the drenched crowd, what were you riding? Totally impressed you went ahead and did the ride. We had a decent-sized convoy from Mt. Pleasant/City bikes---it was worth every soaking, freezing, windy minute.
And by the way, I'd replace those cotton sweats with some nice rainpants, made of the high-tech water-repellant fabric that's available. It makes a HUGE difference. Kinda like magic--you take it off and you are DRY underneath!
See you at next year's rally! I'll be on the white cannondale.----Grace L.
John Kelly: No, I didn't, though I was glad to see the weather was lousy today, in homage to my column. (Of course it was ten times lousier two Fridays ago.) I have a blue Gary Fisher that must be 15 years old. I've been told it's a nice bike, totally wasted on me. So RAINpants, huh? I'll stick them next to my SNOWpants and my WINDbreaker. (Is there a special article of clothing for every weather contingency? Tornado hat? Flash flood socks?)
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Washington, D.C.: I'ma run next door and get Chinese. You'll still be here, right?
John Kelly: Yeah, I'm good.
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Rosslyn, Va.: Submitting early, because we gotta know...
OK, John, ever since all the Deep Throat secrets broke yesterday morning, we've been trying to figure out WHICH underground garage in Rosslyn was the site of the secret 2 am meetings.
Do you know or can you ask Bob Woodward at lunch? We think our cars may be sitting in a dank, creepy, piece of history.
John Kelly: I don't know. And I haven't seen any reference to the specific address. Anyone else? I think the thing to do is just claim that the one you park in IS the Deep Throat garage. And then I would set up an elaborate carpool prank in which I snipped a hole in my pants pocket and let my loose change fall out as I was walking from the car to the exit. Then I would loudly announce, "Uh-oh, guess I'd better FOLLOW THE MONEY."
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Arlington, Va.: Tuesday's column: My husband has the same problem with the telephone! I talk to him on the phone several times a day and I can't possibly imagine how someone could mistake him for a woman. However, I confess to find it hilarious that I can always pinpoint the moment someone says "ma'am" - his voice attempts to shift down a few octaves and I must suppress my giggles lest his male ego be further wounded.
John Kelly: I've heard from several men who have the same problem: Some people think they're women on the telephone. And I heard from a woman who said she's constantly addressed as "Sir."
And I heard some other stories of gender-confusion, such as Dan, who wrote:
"In 1999 I had jaw surgery to fix an underbite. At the time I was on my father's insurance (I was still a minor). A few months later, the insurance company called my father saying that they would not pay for the anethesia because it was not supposed to be given to pregnant women.Several days later when I saw my father, he greeted me with, 'Guess what? You're pregnant!' I couldn't think of a reply for that one except a confused, 'Okay....'"
And that reminded me of a similar tale: After our oldest child was born, we got the hospital bill. I was looking at the various fees and saw that we had been charged something like $800 for a circumcision. Gwyneth was then, and remains now, a girl. It pays to read the fine print.
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Arlington, Va.: Now that Woodward has told us the "Deep Throat" garage is right across the Key Bridge in Rosslyn, will we ever find out specfically which garage it is (if it is still there)? Some friends and I have been speculating and I think I might have a guess.
John Kelly: Which one do you think it is?
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Columbia Heights, D.C.: Hi John,
Here's a random question that has been bugging me for awhile, and was inspired by the statue of Joan of Arc in Meridian Hill Park. In French, she is known as "Jeanne D'Arc." This may sound crazy, but in English, then, shouldn't we refer to her as "Jean of Arc" or "Jeanne of Arc"? Why Joan? Perhaps when Jeanne D'Arc became popular in US culture in the 1800s, Joan was a more popular, recognizable name? Perhaps your readers will have some information. Thanks!
John Kelly: Je ne sais pas. I just sent an e-mail to the head of the International Joan of Arc Society. Let's see if she gets back to me before our chat is over. One reason it may not be 'Jean' of Arc is that 'Jean' might translate as "John.'
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Rockville, Md.: Must have been a lot of excitement around your newsroom this week over The Big Story. Of course, I'm referring to your Bike to Work saga!
Since you're our man on the inside, give us a sense of what it was like there on Tuesday. Exciting? Depressing (because the story came out in another publication)? Did you see Bradlee, Woodward and Bernstein striding across the newsroom? I'll bet that sight gave even the most jaded journalists the chills.
John Kelly: Sadly I missed most of the excitement, tucked as I am in a windowless corner here. (Say, Woodward hardly ever uses HIS office....) I first saw the news come across TV, then the wires. I did detect a sort of collective breath-holding in the newsroom, as we waited to see what Woodward would say, and when.
I'm sorry I missed the appearance of Three Amigos: Woodward, Bernstein and Bradlee. They should have sent a system-wide message to everyone, telling us to assemble to watch them walk past. Say what you will about journalists and journalism, those guys are pretty incredible.
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Washington, D.C.: Congrats on the bike ride John. I bailed this year, but since I bike in any day it doesn't rain, I didn't feel so bad.
You're right, we need to do more to encourage biking in DC. One problem though. Our area is so ridiculously sprawled that pretty much only those that live w/in 15 miles of work can do it (an hour commute if your really pedal).
And those nice decongested roads will just tempt drivers to leave for work a half hour later and drive 30 mph faster (honking at us all the way).
John Kelly: I was surprised at how "easy" it was. Even on a wet, cold, windy day where I was inappropriately dressed, I made it in. And I wasn't totally wiped. I was actually able to function. I do 30 minutes on the rowing machine most mornings, and lift some handweights, but I'm no Lance Armstrong. AND I had a heart attack four years ago. If I can do it--that is, ride my bike to work--just about anyone can. Think about how many people live within a 15-mile radius of their job.
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Arlington, Va.: John,
On behalf of all us cyclists out there, thank you thank you thank you for today's column.
If you or anyone else would like to commute by bike more often, or start riding more for fun, there is a great resource at http://www.bikewashington.org/ . This site provides lots of information about local bike trails and on-street routes. You can also sign up for the message center, where hundreds of local cyclists are happy to answer questions and share opinions about all things bicycle in the DC metro area.
Another resource for folks in Arlington is http://www.bikearlington.com/ .
So would you like to join me for a ride this weekend?
John Kelly: I think my butt has recovered sufficiently to climb astride my bike again, but I'd better play it safe and confine my weekend exercise to watching TV and reading a book. Oh, and mowing the lawn, if it doesn't rain the whole time.
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Arlington, Va.: Hey John, I'm a bicycle commuter, and I really appreciated your column on biking today. I just want to point out that since I started biking, my HDL is now 15 points higher than my LDL and my performance at work has gone through the roof (they've actually done studies where exercising has been shown to improve brain power). Oh and my car insurance/gas costs have gone way down! I highly encourage all people who are doubtful if they can handle the 'inconvenience' of braving the elements/other drivers to give it a shot. It's worth sticking with it! Besides, when's the last time you ever had fun sitting in a car/bus?
John Kelly: It's hard to read while you're biking, and I do like to read on the Metro. And there was one lowpoint: I didn't ride my bike home. All my stuff was still soaked. (In fact, it may STILL be damp.) So I waited till after 7 p.m. and took my bike on the Metro. But even the three block ride to the station was excruciating. Man, my butt was sore. And then I had trouble finding where the elevator to the Metro station was. I'd never used it before and it wasn't in an obvious place.
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Brooklyn, N.Y.: Hi John, New yorker here that loves your stuff! Always try&catch you on line. Coming down to visit in July and catch some baseball. Do they still have the summer concerts in the marine barracks or a the Navy memeorial? I remember months ago reading about this :Secret Construction: project going on near TR Island or one of the bridges. and that the military might be doing it?. Thanks
John Kelly: YEs, they still have those concerts. The Marine Corps Evening Parade is Friday's at 8:45 through August. But in today's Weekend section it says that all tix for this season have been distributed already. A stand-by line forms at 8:10; call 202-433-6060 for info. And the Navy Memorial has concerts most Tuesdays at 8 p.m. Call 202-737-2300 or 202-433-2525 for info.
I believe that secret construction project is still going on. And is still secret.
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Washington, D.C.: A helpful tip, for your contest: I carry a few bank cards and can never keep straight which security number/PIN goes with each card. To keep them straight, I've started writing the security number on the back of each card with an indelible felt tip pen. Problem solved! Heloise never printed my handy little item-- here's hoping you can use it.
John Kelly: Great idea! And many readers who have trouble losing their car or house keys have recommended just leaving them in the respective doors.
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RE: Bike commute: Your Pulitzer didn't get wet on the bike commute did it?
John Kelly: Thanks for bringing that up. In last week's chat I joked about "my Pulitzer." Someone asked if I had really won one. I said, "No, but it's an honor just to be nominated." I meant to go back and say that I wouldn't really know, of course, since I haven't been nominated. I don't want anyone to think I'm one of those prevaricating, fabricating journalists. I do have a Nobel Prize and a Daytime Emmy, though.
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Bowie, Md.: Ever since we had kids, I (Mom) would go to bed early the night before while hubby would keep the kids up as late as possible. Then we would head out at 3-4 am with the kids still in their PJs and me driving. We could ususally go about 4-5 hours before the kids would wake up. Then we'd stop, get breakfast, switch drivers and be on our way. Kids were cool to hang in the car another 2-4 hours before getting antsy and we'd nearly be there. Best part was little to no traffic.
John Kelly: That was our experience, too. The girls slept till 7 or 8. I napped a little too, with my wife cranked up on caffeine. Then we stopped for breakfast (Waffle House!) and switched drivers. And did I mention we brought our dog? He was great, actually. Drove for a while between Benson and Wilmington.
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Deep Throat : Woodward and Bernstein must be insufferable in the newsroom these days.
John Kelly: What was really annoying was when Woodward walked to the middle of the newsroom with a tattered old envelope, put it up to his forehead in a dramatic fashion, and said in a comical voice: "Who is Deep Throat?" Then he ripped the envelope open to reveal an ancient piece of Post stationery on which was written in black Marks-a-Lot marker: "W. Mark Felt." I guess it had been under his stapler for 30 years.
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Washington, D.C.: Okay, I'm back. Shrimp chow mein, hot pepper calamari, a piece of salmon, and an eggroll, all on fried rice.
Thanks for waiting!;
John Kelly: You trust the calamari from a takeout Chinese place? That's like getting sushi at a truckstop.
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Washington, D.C.: Hi John,
Why is it so loud going through the Metro tunnel on the Green Line between Columbia Heights and Georgia Avenue/Petworth? It's not nearly that loud anywhere else I've travelled. Thanks!
John Kelly: I don't know, but I'll ty to ask. Speaking of Metro, everyone is gonna wanna be sure to buy the paper on Sunday. That's when a four-part series on Metro by ace reporters Lyndsey Layton and Jo Becker starts. There was a sneak peak in Express today, about how a $93 million project to repair Metro escalators has made many of them worse.
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Washington, D.C.: If DC goes ahead with the commuter ferry I could buy a cheap house in St. Mary's County.
John Kelly: And then ride your bike? Because I don't think this is a car ferry, but a passenger ferry.
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Foggy Bottom, D.C.: The garage in Rosslyn was at the Key Bridge Marriott. The Post interactive graphic said so, as have other sources.
John Kelly: What the Post interactive graphic said was that the Key Bridge Marriott was where "White House aide Alexander Butterfield used this parking lot to give $350,000 in cash from a Nixon campaign 'reserve fund' -- in $50 and $100 bills -- to Leonard Lilly, who was to make deliveries when directed." All it says about the Deep Throat garage is "an underground garage in Rosslyn just over the Key Bridge."
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Manassas, Va.: Good morning John.
I wanted to give you more notice this year about the Wellington Swim Team's Swim-A-Lap fundraiser. This year we are having it on Wed. June 29th (rain date: Thursday, June 30)
We announced this at a swim league meeting and offered to expand it into a swim-off. Unfortunately we had no takers, but we'll try again next year!
The team intends to donate at least $2000 to the Send-A-Child to Camp fund.
Feel free to contact me or Iris Turner if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
Andrea Morisi, President, WST
Iris Turner
John Kelly: Great. I'll pray for nice weather. All you other slackers out there take note: These kids swim nonstop for an hour to raise money for Send a Kid to Camp.
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Fairfax City, Va.: I used to attend Oxford and my first session there I rented a bike and tried to "fit in." After almost getting hit by a car and being completely able to turn right (our turning left) I returned the bike three months later. I just couldn't get the hang of it, even with the understanding that the British know how to drive with bikes in the road.
John Kelly: I rode my bike a lot when I spent a year in Cambridge, Mass., doing a fellowship at Harvard. I felt very smug. Then I got yelled at for riding through Hah-vud Yahd (a no-no). I was so flustered that when I got out of the Yard and tried to hop a curb, I hit it instead and went flying over the handlebars.
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College Park, Md.: Ok, I know this is more of a question for the Food Critics, but is there an Egyptian Restaurant in the DC/MD/VA area?
John Kelly: Anyone? What's Eqyptian cuisine? Anything from the food pyramid? Bada-boom!
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Washington, D.C.: Sushi at a truck stop. That's funny.
Reminds me- walking past Hooter in China town w/ my friend who speaks Chinese, he looks at the symbols and says "that doesn't say Hooters! The first symbol is CAT"
Of course I imagine it's because Hooters wouldn't translate well, and maybe in China they associate women w/ felines.
John Kelly: It's not women that "Hooters" refers to, or not all of them, anyway.
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Metro, DeeCee: Will Metro sell naming rights for the proposed pedestrian tunnel connecting Metro Center and F. North?
John Kelly: What would be a good name? Hooters Way?
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Maryland: I'm willing to pony up $100 to charity if you participate in the Chesapeake Bay crossing swim.
John Kelly: You're trying to kill me, right?
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Taste of DC: I don't know why it took so long for people to know but the cancellation was on their website for a week before it was reported in the press.
John Kelly: Which shows the wisdom of checking out websites. Continuously. Around the clock.
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Waldorf, Md.: What's this about secret mystery construction projects? On bridges?
John Kelly: Our next chatter has the answer....
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Secret Construction Project, D.C.: The Navy's secret construction project is just south of the Jefferson Memorial in East Potomac park, across 395 and the RR tracks. I study the corrugated metal buildings intently every day as I pass by on the VRE, but I don't have the slightest clue what could be going on there. The navy is on record as saying that "you'll be glad we did what we're doing there", after they finish in a few years. Now that Deep Throat's identity has been revealed, maybe that can keep us DC mystery lovers occupied for the next 30 years.
John Kelly: Watch it turn out to be a really swank Officer's Club.
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Examiner Hell: Your SS hawkers must have migrated to Shady Grove. I have to make my way past the Examiner, the Express, sometimes the Times, and the ungodly cheerful Falun Gong people with their Epoch Times. How many times do I have to say No! just to get on the Metro?
John Kelly: If only the Lyndon Larouche supporters would rumble with the Falun Gong folks, it might reduce the gantlet you have to run.
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Parades, D.C.: Any nostalgia for the Gross National Parade that used to run through Georgetown? I kinda miss it.
John Kelly: I never saw it in person, just used to hear about it on WMAL, the Trumbull&Core show. But we need more zany things like that.
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Arlington, Va.: Re: avoiding traffic on I-95. I personally am not a morning person, so getting up at o-dark-thirty for a long trip would make me a seriously dangerous driver. However when I travel up north to visit the family in NY I find that leaving around 9:30-10:00 pm works well. The highways are a bit crowded in this area, and I'm always amazed at how many cars are on the NJ Turnpike at midnight, but overall traffic moves well. And two 16-oz bottles of Diet Coke provides more than enough caffeine to get me to Mom and Dad's house.
John Kelly: But then there was that story a week or so ago about how more construction is going on at midnight, so you can be humming along, congratulating yourself on beating the traffic, and them come to a grinding halt when the road goes from four lanes to one. Personal gyrocopters may be our only hope. Unless we're shot down by F-16s.
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Silver Spring, Md.: Dear John,
This is getting a bit wierd. After our conversation on Tuesday evening about how I felt that you were channeling my family in your discussion of Heloise and her helpful hints. (After you've hocked a lunger into a Kleenex, throw it away instead of putting it back in the box.) Just as My Lovely Wife started reading your column last night my youngest daughter got a little bored and decided that she would work on her birthday list. If you tell me that your daughter's first item was a stretch limo, then I may have to kill you.
On the other hand, I did not ride my bike to work today, nobody ever mistakes me for a woman on the phone (I answer with my Larry King imitation, so that probably isn't fair)
and I don't wear much seersucker.
So I guess you are safe.
much love and hope for a better tomorrow,
Jim P.
John Kelly: What is the fascination with stretch limos? Beatrice shrieks whenever she sees one driving down the street.I wonder if Disney slipped some subliminal "limos-are-cool" message into "The Little Mermaid," while secretly buying up all U.S. limo companies. All I know is Beatrice thinks the height of luxury is to parade around in a white stretch limo.
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College Park, Md.: What are you, kidding about Egyptian cuisine? Have you ever had the bread they make over there? It's heavenly, and I've been missing it since I left Egypt.
But I'm guessing the answer is no.
John Kelly: I've never had that bread. But the real question is: Where can you get it around here? Besides your place, I mean.
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Baltimore, Md.: You are such a nice man! To the poster who said that "Woodward and Bernstein must be insufferable in the newsroom these days," I would have pointed out that Carl B. hasn't worked at the Post for more than 20 years. But you didn't. Which is why you are nice. Nicer than I am, at any rate.
John Kelly: Look, the guy who sent that message in is 91 years old and had a stroke a few years back. He probably thinks Shirley Povich still works here.
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Rosslyn, Va.: On the Hot Shoppes, I recall being lost in the 1970's in the very area that I live now and a friendly gas station attendent told us to turn at the Hot Shoppe and go straight. He pronounced the word Shoppy and I wondered if that was the way that Virginians talk.
John Kelly: Many of them do, yes. And they pronounce "Olde" "ol-DEE," as in "Ye Olde Hot Shoppes."
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Arlington, Va.: I think the garage could be the one right next to where the Continental pool hall is located today. It's fairly obscure, it's dark, and it is truly "right across the Key Bridge." Although I don't know how long that garage has been there and I'm not sure if Woodward meant the garage was right across the bridge, or if he just meant the garage was in Rosslyn, a neighborhood right across the Key Bridge.
John Kelly: And I don't know, either. I was woefully unprepared for this effusion of Watergate arcana. Still, I'm going to try to do a column on if for next week, since I was kind of into Watergate as a kid. Collected all the trading cards, etc.
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Silver Spring, Md.: New week-long topic:
How the sky high cost of housing (and living in general) is affecting young people. My fiancee and I are grad-school educated feds so we make a pretty good combined salary, but with student loans and the cost of housing here we will never, ever be able to buy a home. Eventually we are going to leave jobs we really like because DC just costs too much for us to ever get ahead.
And I am not a total navel-gazer: I realize that my income alone is comparable to median income for a family of FOUR - which makes me wonder how an actual family of four could ever hope to own their own home.
I could go on and on, but no sense in sending in an overlong post. When I talk to older friends and co-workers who own homes (I refer to them as the "landed gentry") they just don't get how prohibitively high entry into the market is. I guess they are too busy counting all the dollars they have made in the 5-20 years they have owned their homes.
Sigh.
John Kelly: Yeah, it's getting bad. I saw some wire story from out of state the other day about some criminal or something and it made a big deal of how the person had just purchased a "half-million dollar home." Wow, a half million? $500,000? Yes, that's a lot of money, but it's like the minimum for a house in a lot of places around here.
Speaking of trash, many of the county folks I interviewed, didn't actually live in the county they work in and whose citizens they serve. Couldn't afford it.
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Suggestions? : ugly architecture? roadside veggie and fruit stands, oddly named streets?, the secret world of the DMV?, sidewalk vendors.
John Kelly: Slow down, slow down, I'm writing this down....
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Shirley Povich : Shoot, she doesn't work there anymore?
John Kelly: No, but when she did, she had an unusually deep voice.
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Silver Spring, Md.: I've bicycled in Copenhagen and it's wonderful for all the reasons you mentioned. But there's one other thing that makes Copenhagen more bike-friendly than DC: the flat terrain. You can bike anywhere without breaking a sweat. And since you're also not drenched in fear sweat, you don't need to shower and change when you get to your destination.
John Kelly: Ah fear sweat. I usually don't develop that until around 4 p.m and I realize I've frittered the day away.
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Downtown: More of a rant than a comment or question...
It was good to read about your experience with biking to work. Congrats. DC needs more people like you. I only hope you consider doing it more often.
I consider myself an experienced cyclist. I ride to work rain or shine. Granted, my commute is only 1 mile but still, I'm out there. However, I am also a local racer and put in hundreds of hours every year riding on our local roads. I have to tell you, DC and the surrounding areas have some of the most aggressive, misinformed, and selfish drivers I've ever come across.
Honking horns is nothing new but you'd be amazed at how many drivers think it's appropriate to do this behind a cyclist. Trust me, I know you're there.
I've had objects thrown at me, passengers spit and curse at me, car doors opened in my face, and others have intentionally run me off the road. For what? Why would anyone do this? I am taking up so little room on the road...and in most places, I'm granted the right to the entire lane!;!; But here I am on the very edge of the pavement and still people take issue with me being there.
Roads are for all of us.
And I can honestly say, some of the worst drivers in the city are the ones who drive professionally: Cabbies and Bus drivers.
I can't count how many cabs have cut me off, swerved into or near me....never signalling, mind you. And Bus drivers, while pretty darn good at negotiating the streets, often speed up and into bus stops, and often come very close to cyclists who are simply trying to get by and through the stop before they gun mowed down.
Patience people!; If you're driving and a cyclist is behind you, giving them some room to move and remaining calm helps everyone. At most, you'll be at your destination 30 seconds later than usual.
I only wish the police and courts too aggressive driving more seriously.
John Kelly: I found it interesting , when talking with local bike folks, that the idea is to make yourself more conspicuous on a bike, not less. I remember always trying to hug the curb while riding. They say you should ride in the middle of the lane, like a car. That way others are more likely to see you.
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Washington, D.C.: Whenever I mistake someone's gender on the phone and they alert me to it, I always rip off this great Simpsons line.
"That's the spirit!"
John Kelly: That's better than saying, "Dooooonuts...."
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Bristow, Va.: Though western Prince William is way to far from my office in downtown D.C. for me to commute all the way to work, I'd love to be able to bike the 5 or so miles to the VRE station at Broad Run rather than slog through the lights getting onto Rte. 28. Unfortunately, while many of the new developments out here have some biking/walking trails, and promote themselves on that fact, they don't connect to form a useful system to actually GO anywhere--they appear to be for recreational use only over a limited area.
I guess what I'm saying is, you don't have to live inside the Beltway for biking options to be useful to you. While this area desperately needs new roads to catch up with the housing development, hopefully they can work on improving "non-motorized" access to activity centers at the same time.
John Kelly: Yes, we've created these gulags of developments sealed off from the rest of the world. You might have to ride on the road, which of course is your right.
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Alexandria, Va.: Oh John! You haven't lived until you've entered the world of technical clothing. They have stuff like CoolMax which wicks your sweat away from your body allowing it to evaporate quickly. No heat rash! There are gore-tex jackets that keep you absolutely dry and while gore-tex doesn't breath very well, they have invented "pit-zips", allowing air-circulation to the underarm area. Bike shorts I'm not so impressed with because it feels like your wearing Depends. But, I'm sure a technological solution will surface there too.
John Kelly: But where does the sweat go, once it's been wicked away, I mean. It isn't transported to some impoverished country, is it?
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Harrisonburg, Va.: Hi John, I chuckled at your column regarding being mistaken for a woman. What do you suppose is worse, that or a child? I'm almost 36 and still get asked if my mom is at home. It is usually a telemarker, so it is an easy out. I simply say no and they hang up.
John Kelly: You may come to feel that being mistaken for a child is flattering, like getting carded at the liquor store. I may take a page from your book though, and when the next telemarketer calls tell them they HAVE to speak to my mother.
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Rosslyn, Md.: I concur with Arlington on the garage. The building was here, and I hear Continental used to be the Pawn Shop, which was a happening place back then. Of course, I wasn't allowed to be out that late in 1972.
More fact hunting for next weeks column.
John Kelly: Thanks for the tip.
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K Street Corridor: John: My law partner has two girlfriends with similar voices. Even though I have known each of them for years, I cannot tell their voices apart, and you simply cannot risk calling one by the other's name. If I have to pick up the phone, I always have to formally ask "and who may I say is calling?" They both think I'm a jerk for being so formal.
John Kelly: "Two girlfriends with similar voices"?!!? There's some sort of story there, or a fetish. Or are they really just friends. I guess that could be it. Sorry I jumped to conclusions.
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Metro Escalators: Hiya John:
From what I understand, a part of the $93 million for Metro remediation is to change all the "Escaltor" signs to read "Stairs." I think this is true out-of-the-box thinking.
John Kelly: And let's hope it goes back in the box.
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Spring'o'Silver, MD: Riddle me this: heard on the news that Metro is exploring the possibility of building a pedestrian tunnel between Metro Center and Galler Place. Good idea!; I thought, untill I heard more.
Evidently they want to put it outside the turnstiles so it would be free for everyone to use. How proleteriate of them!; But I feel that that would mean the Metro riders wouldn't use it, as it would mean exiting the system (paying fare from point A to Metro Center) and re-entering the system (paying fare from Gallery Place to point B), which is going to end up costing more than just sucking up and staying in the system and using the red line to cut between the two, which is the cheapest solution to get from point A to point B.
Am I the only one, but does this somehow seem to miss a big part of the point?
John Kelly: You're right. That does seem misguided. Maybe someone will sponsor the fare, too.
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Anacostia: Hey John
Any truth to the rumor that the proposed passenger ferries will be gondoliers?
John Kelly: I certainly hope so. I love those striped shirts.
And I love these little chats. Thanks for dropping by on this rainy Friday. Lots of great questions and comments. I'm sorry if I couldn't get to yours. Have a good weekend. Don't forget that we are embarking on our annual campaign to raise money for Camp Moss Hollow. They do great work there and I'm pround of the support The Post and its readers have provided for the last twenty-some years. If you want to donate, go to www.washingtonpost.com/johnkelly.
See ya.
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Pawnshop: Pawnshop was not there until after the event.
John Kelly: Time to get out the old land deed records....Thanks.
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