Ask Tom

Servers' Names

In a city loaded with diverse restaurants, from New American chic and upscale Italian to sandwich shops and burritos on the run, finding the best places to eat can be a real puzzle. Where's the best restaurant for a first date or an anniversary? Father's Day? What's the best burger joint? Who has the best service?

Ask Tom. Tom Sietsema , The Washington Post's food critic, is on hand Wednesdays at 11 a.m. ET to answer your questions, listen to your suggestions and even entertain your complaints about Washington dining. Sietsema, a veteran food writer, has sampled the wares and worked as a critic in Washington, Seattle, San Francisco and Milwaukee, and can talk restaurants with the best of 'em. Tom's Sunday magazine reviews, as well as his "Ask Tom" column, are available early on the Web.

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Alexandria, Va.: About Del Merei - I live in the neighborhood and went by and tried it a couple of Saturdays ago and really loved the pork chop and while the service was fine but then I went in later that week and tried the chicken (before your review) and had to send it back because even the dark meat was dry. As a replacement I ordered a ribeye medium rare. When I received my steak it was not just rare but actually raw in the middle while already crusty on the outside so I had to send it back to be cooked more. The second time it was better and I ate the outside ring and took the inside ring home and cooked it more the next day for dinner.

My question is, after having to send back a second meal, shouldn't the manager have come over to check on my table? The restaurant wasn't crowded, when our waiter went to get our check I saw him talking to someone that I presume was the manager but not a peep from her to our table. I wasn't expecting anything comped, I paid for the steak and not the chicken which is what I expected since I ate one not the other, and if I had just sent back the chicken I might have not noticed, but the fact that the steak was also cooked incorrectly should have brought notice from the manager in my opinion. Should I have asked to speak to the manager? I didn't because I didn't want her thinking that I was trying to get something free (I wasn't), I just wanted some assurance that this was a place I should try again. What do you think?

Tom Sietsema: I think the manager should have checked in with you.

Good morning, all! I'm just back from three days in Madrid, where I got a chance to eat in some trend-setting restaurants. Spain is really where the (food) action is these days. I'll be writing about some of my recommendations in the July 3 Travel section.

Let's roll ...

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Washington, D.C.: Oh, I get it. "Ray's The Steaks" = "Raise The Stakes" Very clever.

Tom Sietsema: You're just now getting that?!

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Washington, D.C.: My family and I had a great experience at Corduroy last Friday night. The food was fantastic, but what really made my evening was the service. My wife is 5 months pregnant and is, of course, unable to drink alcohol. She's tried some non-alcoholic beers, but they're not too tasty. Unprompted by anyone at the table, our waiter brought out a bottle of non-alcoholic wine made from pinot noir grapes and suggested it to my wife. She had a glass and enjoyed it. (I didn't even know they made non-alcoholic wine.) I just thought it was cool that the waiter noticed my wife was pregnant and took it upon himself to offer the wine. The waiter clearly answered all of our questions about the menu, was attentive, and contributed to an enjoyable evening. That was my first experience at Corduroy after hearing so much about it and I will definitely be back.

Tom Sietsema: Thanks for your field report.

While I understand the server's good intentions, I'm not sure every pregnant woman would welcome someone making an unprompted pitch to drink something non-alcoholic. What if the customer WANTED a glass of regular wine? Trust me, these situations can be tricky. I do, however, applaud a restaurant that seeks out quality non-alcoholic beers and wines for their guests.

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D.C.: Tom, this question is really bugging me (and I've asked it before, so I really hope it gets posted this time!). What is considered OK when it comes to asking about the name of your waiter/waitress?

Tom Sietsema: Personally, I don't care to know my server's name. I'm not there to bond with him or her, after all. But I know other people who really dig meeting "Brett" or "Samantha" (and then have the unfortunate habit of using the name over and over through a meal).

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The firm is paying!: I am taking someone out for an interview lunch (I get to pick the place and don't have to pay!!) I was thinking The Prime Rib, but I won't be wearing a suit on Friday, and want walking distance from K and 20th. Any suggestions? Thanks, Tom.

Tom Sietsema: The Prime Rib is more fun (live music!) than delicious these days. I'd rather eat at Kinkead's, Kaz Sushi Bistro or Vidalia myself.

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Washington: Looks like someone in the industry wants to remind us that Ray's is still out there.

Tom Sietsema: Such a cynic!

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Foggy Bottom: Tom,

with all the talk of a smoking ban, where do you stand on the issue? Are you a smoker? Does smoking have an effect, positive or negative, on your dining experience?

Tom Sietsema: I do not smoke but I don't mind if others do, provided they are few in number and they are not sitting TOO close to me. On the other hand, I think puff after puff of smoke can ruin an otherwise good meal. So, I have mixed feelings.

I will say, however, that's it's a treat to go into a bar or restaurant that's smoke-free, as is the case in New York these days. I hate coming home with the smell of smoke on my clothes.

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Bethesda, Md.: Hi Tom, wild and happy story...On June 06, a friend and I who work in Bethesda booked a lunch reservation at the new Bistro Asiatique through opentable.com to celebrate our birthdays. When we arrived at the restaurant we informed the chef coming out from the back that we had a reservation, and he looked at us with a funny expression on his face, and then jokingly said we could sit wherever we wanted, because the restaurant was empty. When he came back over to serve water I explained that we had just made the reservation that morning through opentable. He told us that they were no longer serving lunch, and that it was under new management, but that he would honor the reservation if we would please stay. Since I had known people had lunch there as late as the past week, I asked, "Since when is this?" and the chef explained that the changes had happened in the last 48 hours.

We had menus, and we looked at him with what I'm sure was a lot of confusion. Then, he just gave us his recommendation, a seared, nori-crusted tuna. Of course, we took it. Since we had decided to go there particularly because they served creme brulee, we asked if they were still serving it. He said he could make it. When he came back to check on us, he let us know that he had been hired, unexpectedly, on the Friday night before by the owner of the restaurant, completely unexpectedly and that he had been in the restaurant all weekend trying to get it all together. They were changing the menu, of course, new chef, the whole sha-bang. To make it even crazier, he made our lunch completely from scratch, including the creme brulee (this takes, like 45 min, apparently??). The chef's name was Dennis, and he comes from Citronelle, IndeBleu and Inlaid's. The food was really good AND he told us the meal was on him, as long as we promised to come back for dinner in a few weeks! We will! It was a great birthday lunch, thanks Dennis! Thanks Tom, for having this forum, I always enjoy it.

Tom Sietsema: In-ter-es-ting.

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Centreville, Va.:  What are some of the most popular Northern Virginia Restaurants for marriage proposals?

(I.e...what are some great restaurants to take your special someone if you are going to propose?)

Thanks

Tom Sietsema: As I've noted here several times, if you want to propose in a restaurant, you should choose a place that you think will be around awhile. That way, you can return to the scene (where he or she HOPEFULLY has said "yes!") for future anniversaries.

One of the "popular" destinations for this is the venerable L'Auberge Chez Francois in Great Falls, with all its romantic nooks, crannies and patio seats. My preference is for something more contemporary, however: 2941 in Falls Church comes to mind, as do Colvin Run Tavern and Maestro, both in Tysons Corner. In the countryside, you might consider the Asby Inn in Paris, Va.

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Non-Alcoholic Beers: For anyone no longer able to enjoy alcohol (for whatever reason) but had always liked beer, try the following:

Haake Beck

St. Pauli Girl N/A

Kaliber (from Guiness)

Buckler(Heineken)

They are quite drinkable.

Tom Sietsema: Thanks for the tips on sips.

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Re: Names: I get that some people want to know their server's name. But is it polite to ask? I've had a waitress with a very nontraditional female name. She told it to the table when asked, but that started a whole discussion about her name. Should she have given a fake name? Do servers do that?

Tom Sietsema: Only at Archibald's, Camelot and Good Guys, to the best of my knowledge.

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Arlington, Va.:  With another Restaurant Week in the offing, I wanted to share suggestions from my last RW experience:

Colvin Run - awful, really dumbed down menu.

1789 - superb, best of the bunch, full menu w/supplements

Vidalia - very good

Caucus Room - excellent. very limited menu, but they had steak.

I'd like to get recommendations on any of the following for this week from others who have experienced them during RW -- Menodcino, Equinox, Taberna del Alabardero, New Heights

Tom Sietsema: Reviews, anyone?

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NW, D.C.: Hey Tom. My long-distance boyfriend is flying into town tonight, but we wont get back from the airport until about 10 or 10:30 PM. Do you know of any places we could eat that late? (besides, of course, 18th street pizzas.) We aren't fancy-- we just need something metro-accessible (NW, please) and casual dress acceptable.

Thanks so much!

Tom Sietsema: Les Halles on Pennsylvania Ave. stays open til midnight, I believe. So does Old Ebbitt Grill near the White House.

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Adams Morgan: Can we please talk about Gordon Ramsey? Hell's Kitchen has to be one of the most awful shows on television. None of these students know what they are doing, and no chef--especially one of his alleged high caliber--would consider turning the reins of a restaurant over to any of them. Tom, I'm curious to know if you have seen it and if so, what you think!

Tom Sietsema: I watched about 10 minutes of the premiere and tuned out. Why would such a talented chef sully his reputation and image with such a foolish show? Dumb, dumb, dumb. (The show, not the man.)

On the OTHER hand, I woke up from a siesta in Madrid last Friday and turned on the TV to see our very own Jose Andres demonstrating dish after dish after dish. It was entertaining and informative and useful.

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Silver Spring, Md.: "Personally, I don't care to know my server's name. I'm not there to bond with him or her, after all."

But Tom, that's because you have to remain anonymous and impartial! I think most restaurant goers, like me, would like to bond on some level with our servers, especially at places where we are or may become a regular. Part of the charm of being a regular at a good neighborhood place is when you walk in and say hi and the patrons and staff all look up and shout, "Norm!"

As for the poster's question, I wouldn't think its ever inappropriate to ask any restaurant staff person for his/her name. (First name, anyway. If you are asking for the full name, address, marital/relationship status and birth date of an attractive bartender, you are probably out of line.)

Tom Sietsema: You raise an excellent point there. I do prefer to blend into the woodwork when that's possible. But why should you?

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21 P: We had dinner Saturday night and the coffee crusted steak and BBQ Cajun shrimp were great. The steak flavoring was excellent. Service was great and the only mishap was they ran out of 3 white wines that afternoon due to a party. Must have been some party!;

Tom Sietsema: My kind of lunch crowd!

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The Prime Rib: For the poster who asked about the Prime Rib, I believe they maintain a couple of loaner jackets and ties, so he should not be discouraged by not wearing a suit.

Tom Sietsema: Indeed they do, and some nice ones at that! But what if the guy is 4'3" or 6'9"?

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Interview lunch: I think the Prime Rib is a pretty good place for an interview lunch because you can HEAR in there, unlike some other places!;

Tom Sietsema: Well, you've got a point there. Personally, I like Corduroy for the food and relative calm.

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Re: Omakase: Tom,

When going to order Omakase, are you supposed to sit at the sushi bar or at a regular table?

Tom Sietsema: For the best experience, sit at the bar. For starters, you get a chance to engage with the cooks if you want.

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Overusing Server Names...: My mom's like that with servers. If the server doesn't provide his/her name, she asks for it. Then, for remainder of the meal, whenever s/he comes back to the table, my mom always uses it. It gets to such a point that the server starts to avoid the table and regrets providing it.

Me, The only reason why I need their name is to use it if I need their attention (or to ask another server to have our server come over).

Tom Sietsema: When I was formulating my response, I was thinking of a friend who I dined with recently. He asked for our server's name and dinner became this "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia" episode. Drove me nuts! LOL

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Re: Names, from a server's point of view: I personally do not mind when a guest asks my name. I do mind, however, when that guest (or table) uses my name throughout their dining experience as if we are best friends. Also, if you happen to have a waiter or waitress who has an uncommon name (a name you wouldn't expect a waitress to have, but would be perfectly acceptable for a waiter, for example) please do not laugh at the name and ask "why did your parents name you that?" while still laughing. It's just not nice.

Tom Sietsema: Indeed it is not!

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Washington, D.C.: When rating an international cuisine restaurant do you rate it based on "authenticity" or based on the tastes of an American? Or do you find that "authentic" always tastes best? Just curious because I can imagine there being times when the most authentic cuisine may not appeal most to the "American trained" palate (if that makes any sense).

Tom Sietsema: Great question! If a flavor or food style is not common in this country, at least to a general audience, I like to give readers an idea of what to expect. I might not say something is good or bad, but rather -- for example -- it has the perfume of stinky socks or some such. I'm thinking now of durian, the notoriously smelly fruit prized in Southeast Asia for its custard-like texture.

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Washington, D.C.: You promised us ages ago to share your "Titanic" story--can we have it today? Pleasepleasepleaseplease?

Tom Sietsema: Stay tuned. You are this close to reading about my misadventures!

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Alexandria, Va.: Tom, do you know anything about A La Lucia, the Italian place on Madison Street in Alexandria? I've heard good things, and saw it in the Washingtonian, but I trust your opinion more, what do you think?

Tom Sietsema: Went once, wasn't impressed. Plus, I've gotten a few complaints about the staff there.

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Arlington, Va.: Any early intel on the new Shirlington haunt, Extra Virgin? I saw the WSJ gave it a plug. Since you probably haven't been, any chatters who have gone?

Thanks.

Tom Sietsema: The place seems disorganized.

Earlier this week:

Would-be diner: Are you open for lunch this week?

Receptionist at Extra Virgin: Um, um, I'm not sure.

Would-be diner: Could you ask someone who might know?

Receptionist: Hold on.

Male voice: We aren't sure if we'll be serving lunch this week. We're still training the crew.

Would-be diner: Should I call back later this week then?

Male voice: Yes, we'll know by then.

HUH?

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Can I make a quick suggestion?: I'm a restaurant server at a casual Italian place, and in the past two weeks, I've had several people try to design their own dishes. If it's just a case of no mushrooms on a pizza or having a pasta with a simple cream or red sauce, that stuff is basic for any kitchen. But I've had people ask for spinach lasagne ("you have meatball lasagne, why can't you do spinach?"), or design their own pasta with ingredients that would not compliment each other well, then get in a tizzy and send it back when it tastes bad.

The kitchen at my restaurant is accommodating, and when people ask me for something, I usually check with the chef to see if we can do it. But there are some ingredients we don't have in the kitchen or ingredients that are not prepared the way they need to be to have an alternative dish. If you insist, we can try to do something elaborate, but it's not going to taste the same as if it were regularly on the menu.

Go ahead and ask if you'd like an alternative preparation, but don't get angry when we can't do it or it doesn't come out the way you want. I encourage people to try things on the menu that they would not normally have. That way, our kitchen shows off its abilities and you are much more satisfied.

Tom Sietsema: Diners, did you catch that?

Thanks for the diplomatic post, by the way. You sound like an excellent and reasoned waiter. (More! More!)

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RE: Pregnant wine drinkers: I must agree that it was nice of the server to offer the non-alcoholic wine to the pregnant diner if it occurred AFTER everyone else had ordered wine and it was apparent that the pregnant woman did not plan to consume an alcoholic beverage. On the flip side, my cousin was pregnant during my college graduation a few years ago and we went to a fancy restaurant in New Orleans to celebrate. She planned to sample only a half-glass of red wine to toast with us, as her doctor informed her that a half glass a couple of times during pregnancy would be ok. The waiter proceeded to point out that since my cousin was pregnant, she would OBVIOUSLY not be drinking wine. He made such a big show that she felt too bad to drink a glass after that...she was very disappointed and upset with our presumptuous waiter, as were the rest of us.

Tom Sietsema: My point EXACTLY!

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Washington D.C.: Had dinner at Palette this weekend, and It was amazing - the quail salad w/maytag crisp!(complemented by a refreshing sparking rose made only for the restaurant...) - the scallops with morels/foie gras (perfectly cooked) - a squash blossom stuffed with lobster, and the 'chicken spread' (and this was all to start) the black grouper with orzo (goat and tomato) was just great - had a bite of the rabbit but was happily full on everything else. I noticed that your review didn't include what we had eaten - and I have to say this was one of my favorite meals ever in D.C. - I hope that other people go and have the same great experience!!!!

Tom Sietsema: I'm really happy to hear that. Your sentiment has been echoed by others who have eaten there in recent weeks.

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Alexandria, Va.: Someone mentioned the Prime Rib's jacket-tie requirement earlier. Personally, I enjoy it when patrons wear suits and skirts when spending good money on dinner. Where else, besides the Prime Rib, do you find this to be the case?

Tom Sietsema: 1789 in Georgetown also requires a coat (and maybe a tie, but I forget).

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Any more feedback on BlackSalt?: After last week's bashing, I was curious if you heard from the restaurant or other patrons on the rude service.

Tom Sietsema: Patrons? Yes.

BlackSalt? Not a peep.

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Mont. County. Maryland: Have you eaten at Tandoori Nights in Gaithersburg. If so, could you please share you opinion. The decor seems beautiful from their Web site. Thanks so much for these chats and all your hard work.

Tom Sietsema: Too bad you can't eat the decor (to use the cliche). I didn't have anything there that I'd want to try again, frankly.

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Late Night D.C.: Another late-night DC option to keep in mind is Colonel Brooks Tavern, just across Monroe street from the Brookland Metro Station. Although it is a long-ish Metro ride from NW, it's open until 1:30 a.m.; 2:30 a.m. Friday and Saturday.

Tom Sietsema: Good to know. Gracias.

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Silver Spring, Md.: My sister and her husband are rolling into town July 4th weekend with their infant daughter. I want to make a dinner reservation (DC or Montgomery County) for Saturday, July 2nd for a place that has seafood (a variety) AND might be spacious enough to accommodate an infant. A favorite, Johnny's 1/2 shell might be too small. Thanks.

Tom Sietsema: What about Black's Bar & Kitchen in Bethesda or the Oceanaire Seafood Room downtown? For something more casual, don't forget the new Hank's Oyster Bar in Dupont. It's small but has an outdoor patio -- nice to know about when there's the chance of a crying baby.

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Fairfax, Va.: Tom,

Can you suggest a good restaurant for a wedding rehearsal dinner that will accommodate about 50 guests in the Tenleytown/Friendship Heights area? Thanks!

Tom Sietsema: That's tough! One option is the Portuguese restaurant, Tavira, in nearby Chevy Chase.

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Columbia Heights: Have you been to the creperie Cafe Bonaparte on Wisconsin Ave in Georgetown? I don't see it listed on the Wash Post Web site. I went a few weeks ago and really enjoyed both the savory and sweet crepes.

Tom Sietsema: My lunch there was pretty lackluster. The signature dish wasn't exactly a good role model, in my humble opinion.

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A La Lucia: I went there for my birthday dinner a few months back and was not impressed with my entree. The chef comped us a cute little appetizer right when we sat down, which was great, and the atmosphere was cozy with a neighborhood feel. I was so prepped to like it there!; But my dinner was blah. I was almost tempted to ask if they forgot an ingredient but didn't.

Tom Sietsema: That sort of mirrors my experience there, too.

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Washington D.C.: Tom,

On your recommendation I have started going to Sushi Taro (after many years). The food is great but the seating is somewhat strange. It seems they reserve the best seats for parties with men and two women alone get seated in the less desirable tables (little privacy, very close to another table).

Last week I went alone and sat and the bar but they put me far from the main area even though there were lots of empty spaces. I don't know if I'm being paranoid, though, have other women experienced this?

Tom Sietsema: Ladies?

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RE: Substitutions and such: ARRRGGGHHH!;!; Nothing infuriates waitstaff and the kitchen as much as diners who design their own dishes from scratch by assembling ingredients on the menu on a whim. I suspect that many of these folks, ahem, don't spend much time actually COOKING food. If they did they would realize that, yes, even in the high-end kitchens some food is (gasp!;) pre-prepped. If you get in a tizzy because they won't add spinach to your housemade ravioli ("If they're housemade, how come you can't add an ingredient?") you will be mercilessly made fun of behind your back. A little diner education can go a long way.

Tom Sietsema: You are being silently applauded by your peers, if not the picky eaters of the world. Thanks for chiming in.

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Arlington, Va.: Tom-

The Village Bistro in Arlington - a good bet if Guajillo and Ray's are busy? A good bet on its own? Or avoid it? What are your thoughts?

Thanks.

Tom Sietsema: I'd rather eat at Ray's or Guajillo myself.

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Tyson's Corner: re: Mark and Orlando's in today's Post. Have you been, Tom? What are your thoughts on this place? I've been but I'll reserve opinion for a more appropriate format. Any of the peanut gallery been there yet?

Tom Sietsema: To answer the question: I rarely write about restaurants in DISH that I haven't personally experienced.

In other words: Go!

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D.C., Baby!: Tom -- I REALLY like a couple of the dishes at Good Guys -- I just wish they had carry-out!

Thanks for reminding me of a delightful Washington institution. And good, cheap burgers to boot.

I await your reviews of Archibald's, Camelot, and Good Guys.

Tom Sietsema: I hope you're patient!

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Arlington, Va.: Hi Tom! What are some of your favorite restaurants with water views? Helps me feel a little vacation-like when I have a water view. Thank you!!

Tom Sietsema: 2941 in Falls Church has a lovely view of the water from its terrace. That's a start.

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20006: Hi Tom, quick question. Have you eaten at Raku in Dupont Circle? Your review focused mostly on the Bethesda version. Good for a casual Thursday dinner with friends?

Tom Sietsema: They are two very different experiences that happen to share only the name. The Bethesda restaurant is far superior to the DC place.

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Downtown D.C.: I'm not a "lady," but I my girlfriends all tell me that this city is notorious for seating two women in the "girl ghetto." It happened to one of them the week before last at Merkado. When they requested to be reseated, the restaurant obliged. Other restaurants, I'm told, were not so kind.

Tom Sietsema: The "girl ghetto" is a new one to me.

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Adams Morgan, D.C.: Cheers to the DC Council for revisiting the consideration of a smoking ban in bars and restaurants. As a former waiter, I can appreciate the health impact. As a customer I look forward to enjoying an appetizing meal without taste and smell being dulled by tobacco smoke.

Tom Sietsema: I think you have legions of supporters in your camp.

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Washington, D.C.: Tom. I need help. My boyfriend's mother has given me an assignment. I need to find a restaurant where approximately ten women can have a wedding shower lunch. It should a laid back, quiet place. Either a private room, or a large table in a restaurant. It can even be a fixed menu. D.C. area. Flexible on food and price. Nothing too adventurous. Help me make a good impression Tom.

I'm begging you.

Tom Sietsema: What about the handsome 21 P in Dupont Circle, Restaurant Eve in Old Town or Firefly, also in Dupont Circle and home to a cozy private room in the back?

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Trying to Chill in Dupont: A friend and I returned last night from a birthday dinner at one of my favorite D.C. restaurants, Komi. Predictably, the food was sensational and the service extremely courteous and professional. So, why was this my least enjoyable birthday celebration? Because of a seriously under-achieving air-conditioning system. This presented a complex issue for me and my guest: What are the obligations of an upscale restaurant that can't adequately cool its guests in Washington summer temperatures?

We learned, as we presented our grievance first to the server and later to the manager, that the problem had persisted for 3-4 days and that it was the unintended consequence of the restaurant's recent effort to up-grade its HVAC system. On the one hand, I am sympathetic to a business located in an historic townhouse, where heating and cooling issues can be daunting challenges. I live in one. And, given thus chilly spring, none of us has had much time to adjust to Washington's summer climate. Also, within certain parameters, the cooling of one's body temperature is a somewhat personal preference.

But I am troubled by Komi's solution to the situation -- i.e., to say nothing until we brought it up and then just shrug the shoulders, albeit apologetically. It is difficult for a diner who walks in from the heat of the outdoors into a room that's someone cooler -- but not much -- to decide, while being seated, whether he/she will have cooled off sufficiently before ordering the appetizer or whether it is best to just leave. Do we ask the maitre d' to bring out a meat thermometer from the kitchen and give us a reading? Instead of acknowledging the issue up front, the manager offered us a table in the bay, which -- an hour and a half before sunset --was the hottest seat in the house. We declined the bay table and asked to be seated in the back, and Komi complied. Still, it was obvious to any observer that my brow was dripping with perspiration throughout all 3 courses, and the heads and shoulders at tables surrounding me were shining sweat beads aplenty as well. Ideally, establishments that charge as much as Komi does should just get the problem fixed, whatever it takes. Maybe that's not always possible, but, in my humble opinion, given that the problem had continued over several days, the restaurant should have apprised diners when they made their reservations (as we had done just the night before) that there was a cooling problem and explained what we could expect. If they had done so, yes, we would have cancelled last night and made other arrangements. But we would have respected the restaurant for being candid and concerned for our comfort. Even a couple of words at the door might have built a little trust (though what comparable alternatives could we find on that block, if we had backed out then?)

What I think should warrant concern for restaurants like Komi that experience an A/C meltdown is that, in our state of discomfort, all the restaurant's flaws came to the surface: Why was there such a long lag time between appetizers and entrees? What happened to the amuse that Komi used to serve? That now-retired glass of chilled cauliflower soup would have gone a long way to keep us on their side during the cooling crisis. We gave the server a lot of credit for keeping our water glasses filled -- she was most attentive and no doubt suffering from the heat more than we were -- but, at the end of the evening, we concluded that Komi had definitely dropped the ball. Would you agree?

Tom Sietsema: (No more amuse at Komi? I wasn't aware of that change.)

I'm sorry to hear that your evening was marred by the heat. Johnny Monis's food deserves a comfortable room in which to eat it. I agree with you: the restaurant should have alerted customers to the problem from the get-go, either on the phone or at the time of arrival.

I'd be curious to hear from any restaurateurs who might be lurking about this morning. How would YOU address this sticky problem?

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Laurel, Md.: Hi Tom - I'm heading to a Saturday matinee (2 p.m.) of Mamma Mia this weekend at the National Theatre with my husbands mother and grandmother. I was hoping to take them out to a nice lunch in the city as they don't get to D.C. very often - within easy walking distance of the theater. Very few restaurants in that area serve lunch on Saturdays. Any suggestions?? Thanks.

Tom Sietsema: The Occidental is nearby and has the added advantage of an outdoor patio (which is welcome when the weather is cooler than it is today, of course!)

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Washington, D.C.: Hi Tom, I'm going to be in Santa Barbara, Calif. on Sunday with some quality alone adventure time to kill after a friend's wedding on Saturday. I didn't see any SB eats in your postcards and wondered if you or the chatters had any can't miss places? Anything from a taco truck to chi-chi (but pref. with a place to eat at the bar) would be appreciated.

Thanks!

Tom Sietsema: I last visited Santa Barbara in 2002. My best meals took place at the stylish Bouchon (805-730-1160), which has a lovely wine list and farm market-fresh menu, and Brophy Brothers (805-966-4418), a casual seafood joint with amazing views and memorable clam chowder and locally caught fish.

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Alexandria, Va.: I went to Mark & Orlando's today. I had a 5-course tasting menu and each course was fabulous. I started with gazpacho and it was excellent, every bit as good as Jaleo's. Frankly, it was better because it had less garlic. Then I had the scallop salad with peppers, scallions, and a vanilla vinaigrette--a remarkable blending of flavors. That was followed by the whole fish with ratatoille. The fish could have used more cracked black pepper (but maybe that's my personal taste) but was otherwise perfectly cooked. The beef tenderloin was spectacular but it was accompanied by a wonderful chutney which made the meat even better. The dessert was a sorbet medley. The consistency of the sorbet was mousse-like. All four were great, but the best was the curry. I never would have imagined a curry sorbet but it was wonderful.

Mark Medley paired each of the courses with the perfect wine. Even the post-dinner wine was top notch. I have eaten at all 100 of the top restaurants in town and many others. This restaurant belongs on that list. The only clearly better food is at Citronelle and Maestro and neither of those is a mere two weeks old. I hope you review this restaurant quickly. I have the same good feelings that I had when I was eating nearly alone at Corduroy waiting for it to become popular.

Tom Sietsema: Perfect timing. I wrote about the newcomer in today's Weekly Dish column in the Food section.

Your post sounds a wee bit personal. Do you have a connection to the restaurant, I wonder?

Tom Sietsema: The Weekly Dish

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Tips for dining out with kids: My husband and I recently went out to dinner with my sister-in-law, her fiance, my mother-in-law, her husband, and my 3-year-old son.

We went to a relatively fancy restaurant and we went prepared.

We went prepared to take walks with our son outside around the building after ordering and between courses.

We went prepared to get our food packed up and to leave if our son couldn't last through a grown-up dinner.

We went prepared with snacks if he got hungry waiting for the appetizers to arrive.

As it turned out, the outside walks did the trick. Our son lasted the whole evening without even the slightest of whines. He politely and maturely ate his way through from bread to dessert and blew a kiss to the waitress as we left.

It probably didn't hurt that we practice "Restaurant Manners" with him at brunch buffets on the weekends.

Tom Sietsema: Here's to teaching kids restaurant manners! Bravo.

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Pasta Mia: ...on Columbia road: thoughts?

Tom Sietsema: Be prepared for a side of rudeness with your pasta.

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Going to the Bay: Hi Tom,

I couldn't find the postcards, so I'm sorry if this is redundant. I'm going to SF with my boyfriend for a wedding. We've been mulling going to the Stinking Rose while there- have you ever been? Do you have other ideas of can't miss spots in various price ranges?

Tom Sietsema: No, no, no! The Stinking Rose stinks!

My postcard columns await in the Travel section archives here online.

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Washington, D.C.: Since the birth of our son 7 months ago, my husband and I have been unable to eat out with our bundle of joy, who cannot sit still long enough to let us enjoy a meal! Are there any places in Washington D.C. or Arlington that are baby-friendly or attract a lot of young families? (Of course, we want to go to good restaurants, not McDonald's!)

Tom Sietsema: Asian and Latin American restaurants typically handle families pretty well. Examples in Arlington include Minh's (Vietnamese), Guajillo (Mexican) and Costa Verde (Peruvian). You might also consider restaurants that feature patios, like Zaytinya (Mediterranean) in Washington's Penn Quarter and Perry's (eclectic/sushi) in Adams Morgan.

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Temperature: Ha!; Opposite experience this winter at a place in Old Town, Alex. Place was freezing. We thought we were under a draft and asked to be reseated. The waiter said nothing and reseated us. It was still freezing. Finally after noticing the wait staff was huddled around space heaters we asked what was up and he said their heat was out. Um, useful info to know BEFORE sitting down!;!;

Tom Sietsema: Indeed!

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Re: Tandoori nights: Wow Tom that was a bashing and I assume you are not Indian? That said quite a few of my co-workers are Indian as in from India and they like it a lot. Where they find the new place in Rio (I forget the name) to not be very good.

Which brings up an interesting question. When you try foods of different ethnic origins do you ever bring along someone who knows what it should taste like? You know bring an Indian friend to try the Indian restaurant?

Tom Sietsema: As if all Indians have good palates? Or all Chinese? Or all Mexicans? I've eaten in plenty of "ethnic" restaurants filled with people from, or of, the restaurant's place of origin where the cooking is not very good.

This deserves more time than I have now, and I appreciate your feedback. Maybe we should revisit the question next week.

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For Santa Barbara: Isn't there a Citronelle in Santa Barbara, too?

Tom Sietsema: Yes, but it's not very good.

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Adams Morgan, D.C.: Hi Tom,

I just wanted to respond to the person asking you not to recommend Hank's Oyster bar (and to posters who have asked the same regarding their local favorite) b/c they don't want it to get too crowded.

While I'm not affiliated with Hank's, I do GM a D.C. restaurant, and I'm sure he'd tell you to keep your pleas to yourself.

Newsflash, but restaurants are in business to make money- not to provide you with a local cozy. Should my profit sharing be diminished/kitchen food cost ratio go in the red/servers miss out on much needed tips/etc so that you can enjoy a glass of wine whenever you want?

Would you ask your Dr. to not schedule as many appointments so that you can always get a slot, should you feel a little under the weather?

If you want a local, uncrowded hangout, open a restaurant yourself and make rules, but don't interfere with my livelihood- it's very selfish.

Tom Sietsema: Well, you don't have to worry about MY not reporting on a new restaurant of note. I'm not in the business of keeping food secrets from readers.

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Washington, D.C.: Tom:

Just a word of advice: don't ever eat at Bistro du Coin (Connecticut and Florida Aves., NW) or recommend this place. I went to dinner there last night with friends and ate a dish of duck and pommes frites. I have been violently sick (vomiting, diarrhea, the whole nine yards) from it ever since. I called the restaurant this morning to lodge a complaint with the manager, to which she replied, "please call Michel the owner--he handles all these types of calls." I thought that response was very curious; just how many calls like this does this restaurant receive?! By the way, I called Michel, and am expecting him to return my call, even though his answering machine message said, "I probably won't return your call." Not exactly the response that engenders me to return to the restaurant for a second chance, you know?

Thanks for your time. I'm going back to sipping my ginger ale and eating saltines, hoping that will fix my very queasy stomach.

Tom Sietsema: While I rarely post complaints from diners who say they have gotten sick in a restaurant, because that is a tough claim to actually prove, I am publicizing this one because Bistro du Coin is one of those restaurants that pops up on my radar with some regularity, thanks to readers who complain about the French restaurant's service.

If what you're telling me is accurate -- that the hostess tried to brush you off, that the owner's voice mail indicated he wouldn't return your call -- shame on Bistro du Coin.

P.S. Following last Sunday's Ask Tom column in the Magazine, where a reader wrote about writing a polite letter of complaint and getting no response from a restaurant, I was flooded with emails from people saying "me too!" regarding their dealings with way too many well-known eateries.

Restaurants really need to make customer relations -- at least acknowledging a diner's concern -- a priority.

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Arlington, Va.: Village Bistro: The food is fine, but they definitely are European in their service. (read: s-l-o-w.)

Tom Sietsema: yes ... they ... are ...

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Logan Circle, D.C.: Hi Tom,

Thanks for taking my question. Have you ever been to Mar de Plata? I wanted to get your impression about it because I haven't seen it come up in your chats. Although the atmosphere is somewhat outdated (and that's an understatement), my husband and I have had two wonderful meals there. Both times the service and food were very nice. For example, we had to wait a couple of minutes for a table and so had a drink at the bar. When the host told us our table was ready, he said to just leave the drinks there and follow him. Our drink bill was transferred to our food tab and our drinks were delivered to us at our table. Just little things like that throughout the meal made us feel relaxed, special, and well treated. And, I could go on and on about the grilled calamari with garlic and ginger and the beautiful Paella de Mariscos...

Tom Sietsema: I have not had great luck with the restaurant, which is why you haven't seen me mention it much before.

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menus--as--recipe: While working at a casual but busy restaurant in Arlington I had a patron come in at brunch. When they asked if we had chocolate chip pancakes and I said no, and she handed me a plastic baggie of chips and said--"just put those in the batter, would you?"

Tom Sietsema: Ha! (And you're joshing, right?)

And so we conclude another spirited hour of food chat. Have a cool rest of the week and please join me again next Wednesday. I'll be over my jet lag by then.

Ciao!

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