Color of Money Book Club

Author Mary Hunt joined Michelle Singletary for a discussion of this month's Color of Money Book Club selection -- "Everyday Cheapskate's Greatest Tips: 500 Simple Strategies For Smart Living" (Running Press Book Publishers, $12.95).

Michelle writes that she's sure you will find some useful tips in Hunt's book. She adds that penny pinching isn't just about being cheap -- it's about being creative with the money you have.

A transcript follows.

Read Michelle's past Color of Money columns .

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washingtonpost.com: Michelle's column today offered ways to manage your credit score: Scaling the Crests of Good Credit

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Michelle Singletary: Good afternoon everyone. So glad you can join me today. I love this topic - pinching pennies. I received hundreds of entries for this year's Penny Pincher of the Year Contest, the results of which I'll announce this coming Sunday. Anyway, let's get started.

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Madison, WI: Hi, Is there anywhere I can find a list of the books you've included in your book club from other months? Sally

washingtonpost.com: Past selections are online here: The Color of Money Book Club

Michelle Singletary: Sure. See note. And folks not to toot my own horn (okay I'm tooting) I received an e-mail recently from a college grad who bought one of the books I recommended and she said it changed her life. So read and learn.

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Bowie: When her financial difficulties first surfaced, I remember one Post columnist characterizing the Martha Stewart craze as "improving your life 10% by working twice as hard at it."

For those of us experiencing college-educated suburban poverty (high income offset by high housing costs) what are the fewest, least time-consuming, highest-impact advice you can give?

Mary Hunt: Create a money management formula for yourself and stick to it like glue. I like the 10-10-80 plan. Give away 10% percent (that takes care of your greed), save 10% (that takes care of your fears of running out of money) and then live the best life you can on 80% of your income. For anything that costs more than say $25, make yourself sleep on it for 24 hours. That has saved me from making countless stupid purchasing decisions!

Michelle Singletary: And this is why I love this woman. That first 10 percent concept of giving it away really works. My husband and I tithe and I have to say I was terrified at first. I feared that I wouldn't have enough for me or my kids or the bills. But you know, I have enough even after giving away the first 10 percent of my income.

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Fort Washington Maryland: When did shopping become a highly desirable social activity on the weekends and the "thing to do"? Shopping use to be a DREADED CHORE for most people. I remember when we would go for seasonal clothes shopping and then Christmas shopping. That was basically all the shopping we did.

Mary Hunt: I think we can thank the mega consumer-credit industry for that. It's all about marketing--creating entitlement. They start young, too! Have you every checked out Sat. morning cartoon on TV. Oh my. I must admit that I got caught up in all of that. But I've changed. A lot and for that I am very thankful. I had to treat it as a true addiction making the mall off-limits just as an alcoholic stays away from bars. Now I can hardly force myself into a department store. Forget a mall! And I'm not complaining. I'd rather chat with you.

Michelle Singletary: I HATE SHOPPING. And when I say hate I mean as I approach a mall I get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach because I know the temptation that faces me is too great even for frugual folks like me. My advice, find another way to entertain yourself and your kids. My kids hardly ever go to the mall.

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Washington, DC: A question (or comment) for both of you.

Michelle,

I got my free credit reports, but they did not have my credit scores with them- they said I had to buy it. Is this correct, that only the actual report is mandated to be free, and not the score?

Ms. Hunt,

Your book sounds like a giant "Hints from Heloise" strip, only less sappy and more practical. What kind of business did you and your husband start, and have you thought of a career helping others pay down their debts (beyond this book, I mean).

Thanks!

Mary Hunt: Thanks! I'm a big Heloise fan myself. Harold and I started a commercial real estate company in 1985. It is still alive and well. As for helping people get out of debt ... I did that too! In 1992 I began publishing Cheapskate Monthly Newsletter (soon to undergo a name change to Debt-Proof Living newsletter). For nearly 14 years now I've been helping people through this monthly publication to get out of debt and to go on to debt-proof their lives. We have thousands of subscribers! You can take a look at DebtProofLiving.com. We are a community of people all making the journey to financial freedom together. Join us!

Michelle Singletary: And sorry folks if you want to take a look at the credit scores produced by the three major credit agencies you have to pay for it. There are free scores you can get but beware some of those sites aren't legit.

But hey if you are about to apply for major credit (a home loan or car loan) it's worth paying the money to see what the lenders see. With time if you have a low score you can do some things to bring your score up and thus lower the cost of borrowering.

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Virginia: I was downsized in 2001 from the computer field and have been looking for a FT job every since to no avail. I have extensive experience over 15 with an advanced degree, for example. All I have been able to land is temp work or PT college teaching.

It's pretty hard to salvage a Financial comeback and improve credit, etc. Any suggestions, I have updated the resume, changed targets, etc., etc et infinitum.

What do I do now?

Mary Hunt: Virginia, Wow this is not easy. But my best advice is to stick with it. Do not grow weary in well-doing! And don't be hesitant to take a job that is not a perfect fit for your experience and education. Remember this is just a season and it will pass. You'll look back and see how everything worked out. As for your credit, if you are paying your bills on time and not incurring new debt, you're doing well. Good luck!

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Md. : I'm a "frugal cheapskate." Trust me. Trouble is, I'm at a point where there really isn't much left to "cut." I have three little kids. Last year, my spouse and I paid $20,000 total in child care expenses. (Yes, working full time is still profitable for me, despite the huge child care bill.)

Is there such a thing as reaching a point of zero returns?

Mary Hunt: You can take anything to an extreme--and we compulsive types do that quite easily! Strive to achieve a balanced lifestyle where you are saving consistently, giving generously, not incurring debt and preparing for retirement, you are doing very well. Life is to be lived and enjoyed, abundantly! If you get too caught up with "cheapness" you'll become a hoarder. So, relax. I think you're on the right track.

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New York, NY: Hi Michelle and Mary,

If you were in my shoes, what would you do as the next step to financial improvement? -

I'm in my late 30's, no children. I maximize my Deferred Compensation plan and have no debt. I rent (do not own a home) and don't need a car. I have a couple months salary in savings, although that's dwindling. Because of the money I'm putting away each month, it's basically paycheck to paycheck with the leftover. Some days I'm happy with the situation and others I feel like I'm in not-so-good shape. Any ideas? Thanks!

Mary Hunt: Your attention to building your savings is excellent. But you need a near term goal to get you excited about your life! Have you thought about buying a home now rather than putting all of your eggs into your Deferred Compensation "basket?" I'd have a chat with a good financial planner.

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Allenstown, NH: My husband truly believes that if you have nothing no one can take anything. Identity theft, to him, is only for people who have good credit and money in the bank. I say It doesn't matter. We are living on minimal income and have,seriously, NOTHING. He thinks we are completely safe from identity theft. Is he right?

Thank you for your thoughts.

Mary Hunt: I can understand his reasoning I suppose. But identitfy theives do more than open credit accounts or clean out bank accounts. Everyone should practice reasonable caution to protect social security numbers for example (remind him he may want to draw benefits one day!) without becoming paranoid.

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Springfield, VA: I've recently become a stay-at-home Mom. While I love being home with my 6 month-old son, I have to admit that I miss the paychecks from my old job. Can you suggest ways that I can make some $ while working from home?

Mary Hunt: Many of my readers in your same situation are doing very well as sellers on eBay. They go to tag sales on the weekends, the resell. When my boys were young I had a job I did nights and weekends while my husband was home. I was a "process server" for an attorney server. I handed out subpoenas! I did it on my own schedule only when and if I wanted and made pretty good money. No experience required. Just a reliable car and courage :) Just an idea!

Mary Hunt: Sorry that should have been "attorney service."

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Alexandria VA: Housing is definitely my biggest expense but only 25% of my post tax income. Currently I invest 35-45% of the rest of my post tax income with my 401k making that closer to 50% of income. Instead of the 80-10-10 rule I would say 50-25-25. 50% should go to short-term, long term saving, 25% for living, 25% for housing.

Mary Hunt: Well my friend, you are in an enviable position! I just hope you are taking time to enjoy your life, too. Have you taken a vacation recently?

Michelle Singletary: And don't just dismiss the concept of giving. I truly believe making giving part of your budget enhances not just your life but others.

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Bel Air, Md: I'm still not clear on what to do about credit card accounts that you don't use - or didn't know you have! I have two credit cards (one I use regularly and pay off monthly, one for emergencies and when I forget my other card, use maybe 2-3x per year), a debit mastercard, and two credit cards from stores I intend to keep. But I know that I have a credit card open with another store, even though I cut up and threw away the card years ago, and Discover just sent me a replacement card for an account I never knew I had!

Is it okay to go through my credit report and close accounts I don't/will never use and don't even have the cards? I have really good credit, my only debt is my mortgage and I just bought my house, so no worries about needing anything coming up. Thanks!

Michelle Singletary: Good question. For the short term closing accounts can hurt your credit score BUT if you won't be in the market for new credit any time soon and you keep your balances low then go ahead and close those accounts you don't use. However, make sure the ones you keep open are as old as any one of the ones you are closing. One major factor in keeping a good credit score is the length of time you've had certain accounts. The older accounts really help your score.

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Cash vs. Credit: I just started a weekly budget -- one ATM deduction per week. I'm amazed at how easy it was to just swipe a debit card for each purchase before...and how much more focused I am now on what I'm spending.

Mary Hunt: Wow, the lights are coming on! I could not agree more. Plastic of any kind ... even if the money is coming out of your checking account, is only a stand-in for the real thing. Retailers count on customers spending at least 30% more if they use an ATM or Debit card! It's just so easy to pay with plastic. I'm telling you ... if you will ditch the plastic (leave it at home!), you will recover at least 10% of your income that is simply leaking away undetected.

Michelle Singletary: Amen. There is just something about having to lay down cash that stops me. I just think twice when I have to hand over a $20 bill or even a $1 bill.

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Fort Washington, Maryland: When we go out for dinner, I tend not to order what I can cook at home and I try new and different foods. I then go to the library, search the FREE cookbooks, find the receipe, and cook the dish. Now I can cook Korean, Thai, Chinese, Indian, and Kansas B-B-Q, plus a mean homemade 3 layer chocolate cake.

Mary Hunt: You rock! Fabulous advice. I love the cookbook section at the library. So many people are shocked to know it's even there!

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Culpeper, VA: Good afternoon. As gas prices continue to skyrocket, do you have any tips (other than staying home) on how to minimize these costs?

Mary Hunt: Oh, one of my favorite topics! Yes ... combine your errands. Decide to do everything in one afternoon rather than driving around every day. Empty everything from the trunk except your safety equipment. That is not a storage unit, you know! Weight matters a lot. Check the tire pressure every time you fill up. Stay at 55 mph max! Follow the 4-40 rule. Under 40mph use your four windows open for cooling. Over 40mph., close windows and use the a/c.

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Alexandria VA: 50-25-25 guy again. I give a modest amount, 1-3% now. Instead I made sure my estate would donate generously. Cash is nice but I'd rather make 1000 into 10,000 to give away later then small amounts now.

Michelle Singletary: Great plan and so glad you give now as well. And the need is always great now and later!

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Washington DC: Are either of you personally frugal now that you aren't in debt? Is there much research involved in finding the tips you recommend?

Mary Hunt: Well ... how do you define frugal? For me that means saving consistently (I do!), give generously (ditto!) and never spending more money than I have (right on!) That also means not being wasteful, protecting my environment, preparing for the future. Yep on all counts. So if you agree with my definition ... I live to be frugal.

Michelle Singletary: I live to be cheap. I hate debt, which is why I try to find ways to save all the time. In fact, the more money I make the cheaper I become. Why? Because none of what I make is ever truly promised to me tomorrow. I try to live a life so that if my income drops my lifestyle won't suffer greatly. I could go out and work at a fast food joint until times got better and not suffer from "I used to have it so good" mentality. That's what I learned from my grandmother, Big Mama. Never, ever spend all that you have even when times seem so good.

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Arlington, Va.: Can you offer some tips on saving money when it comes to automobile repairs? I'm getting to be on a first-name basis with my mechanic and am wondering when it's no longer economical to fix an older (paid-off) car.

Mary Hunt: Well, consider this: A new car payment is roughly $350 a month. Every month for 36, 48 ... even 60 months! That will pay for a lot of repairs. I suggest you keep repairing because even worse case it won't reach the cost of a car payment. THEN ... start saving the difference between your monthly repair bill and a regular car payment. IN a year or two you'll have saved enough to buy a better car. And good luck! (I hate car payments by the way)

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Boston, MA: Michelle, two questions:

Would you mind being called a cheapskate?

How adversely will school loan debt affect my chances of owning a home in the future? I have $9,000 in Perkins loans from undergrad and anticipate at least $25k-35k if I get a masters (and I would really like to get a masters, in fact, it's necessary for my next career). Should I put off getting the masters and save some more (I could contribute about 50% of the cost right now and might get up to 100% if I saved for two more years)? I don't want to wait two more years, but I do want to own a home in the future. What do you think?

Thanks for all the great advice!

Michelle Singletary: Interesting you ask about being called a cheapskate. I'll be writing more about that this coming Sunday. I don't mind being called a cheapstake. What I mind is when people confuse that with being a miser. A miser is mean and not a giving person. I believe most cheapskates for frgual people are just trying to get the most for their money. They are trying to live a lifestyle that says "every penny counts."

So call me cheap but don't call me a miser.

And honestly if you can wait the two years and have all the money for your master's I would. Debt has a way to weigh you down and who knows what the future may bring. You could add on all that debt and not get the job you want or be forced to take a job you don't like because of all the debt. In the grand scheme of things is two years so long.

Now having said that even if you take on that debt you still should be able to get a home. School debt has such a low cost right now that depending on your income and where you live there are many ways to qualify for a home these days. Good luck!

Mary Hunt: Actually I love being called a cheapskate. It's confirmation I'm not what I used to be: a credit-card junkie. I know it's a derrogatory label, but I have a lot of fun with it!

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Burke, Va.: Mary, what dollar value do you put on your time? Seems like there's not much off it. I don't want to spend an hour to save a dollar or two.

Mary Hunt: I suppose that's right if you are using every hour of your time producing an income. Few of us do that. I wouldn't spend a great deal of time to save a buck, but if I was doing nothing else during that time? Well ... hmmm, let me see. Yeah, I'll do just about anything to save money ;)

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Salt Lake City, Ut: I really enjoyed your book, read it cover to cover. My question is, how do you handle other family members that are not as excited about living the cheapskate way?

Mary Hunt: Pray for them that they will see the light!! Haha. No, really here is my best advice. Always be a fragrance, never become an odor. Don't do out of your way to irritate them. And if the things you do to save money embarrass them, do them when they're not around. Stay gracious and you'll win them over eventually. Remember you'll be the one with the money.

Michelle Singletary: Wow. Mary's comment on this really hit home for me. I'm always taking heat from family and friends about my cheapskate ways. Sometimes it really hurts. They don't share my passion for saving so they see my frugal ways as "cheap." But when you have three kids to put thu college and a desperation to make sure you stay debt-free or close to it you can and will have conflicts with folks that don't share your vision. But I'm going to remember what Mary said. I'm going to try harder to be a fragrance!

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San Jose, CA: I just got married recently, this Saturday will be our 2 weeks anniversary. My husband entered the marriage with more assetts than I do. He insisted on drafting a declaration of assetts before we got married. It bothers me to this very minute, that he doesn't trust me. Although we didn't make an official prenup, it bothers me that he brought it up. It makes me feel like there is lack of trust. Why would you married someone you don't trust?

Mary Hunt: Well congratulations! I would say that now is not the time to start second guessing what is done. You know, I wrote a book I would LOVE for the pair of you to read. If you can find my email address (Michelle ...?) send me a message and I'll send you a copy of Debt-Proof Your Marriage. I think I may have written it just for you!

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Crofton, MD: Michelle,

Love your chats and watch you on TV when I can. I know you have answered this one before, but my inlaws are thinking of leasing a car. I know you think this is a bad idea. Can you give us the rundown again please. Thanks.

Michelle Singletary: I wish I had the space here to give you all the reasons why not to lease but I'll say this. If you want to save money long term the best way to do that is to buy a car you can afford (used or new) pay if off in the shortest amount of time possible and then keep it for years and years and years. During that time make a "car payment" to yourself. By the time you need another car you may have enought to pay cash for it. During the no car payment time you can use that money to fund your retirement or help send someone to college. Or just have money in case of an emergency.

The point is with leasing you ALWAYS keep a car payment. That is not a way to build wealth.

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Arlington, VA: I am a first-class cheapskate. Since 2001 (when every family I know got cell phones for all members), I figure our family has saved in the neighborhood of $3000-$4000 foregoing cell phones and high speed internet service.

My question: Can my daughter function in college (she goes next month) without a cell phone. Every college student we know says it's impossible, that she'll need "free long distance" since everyone comes from somewhere else and no roaming charges. Help! We don't have a plan to add her to.

Mary Hunt: Well, yes she does need a cell phone. Sorry but I'm a woman of the 21st Century! And here is a great idea: Get her a prepaid cell phone ... you can get these at Target, Wal-Mart, Sam's Club ... just about anywhere. It is so slick! Tracfone is one provider that I really like (www.tracfone.com). You pay up front ... no bills, no contract, no credit check. (Tell your daughter she can thank me later!)

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Washington, DC: Good Morning Michelle & Mary:

Once you're in debt so deep that you can't see any light, how do you start the process of paying off creditors and sticking to the plan? What resources are available to assist with getting out of debt if it's not credit card debt?

Mary Hunt: The hardest thing for me was just facing the music ... getting it all down on paper. But you must do that. Next separate your unsecured from your secured debts. If you haven't already you MUST stop adding to the balances. No new debt! You can look at the Rapid Debt-Repayment Plan Calculator demo at CheapskateMonthly.com to see how to line up your unsecured debts for the pay off. Just follow that payment schedule. If you cannot make even the minimum payments, you need to take drastic measures. Start selling assets. Get moonlighting job. You just have to do whatever it takes to get this debt-repayment machine going! And it will ... you'll be surprised how quickly things will start moving for you. And good luck!

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Illinois: Hi

My husband was laid off recently and I had to start health insurance from my employer. Because of that my paycheck dropped dramatically. My husband and I have each found a part-time job and I'm trying to sell some items online. My husband wants to use some of his retirement account to keep us up to date on monthly bills as we still have a deficit. Should we? What else can we do?

Mary Hunt: Well ... without knowing your complete financial picture, let me say this generally: You should not pull cash out of a retirement account if you can possibly avoid it. What you can do, and perhaps you should ... is to pull back on your contributions to a 401k or other retirement plan until you can get back on your feet. This will increase your net pay to help you close the gap on your deficit. Hope that helps!

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Saving for first car: The car I drive now was a gift from my parents, is over 10 years old and close to retirement. I have been saving $800 a month for six months now and plan to buy a new car next year. My goal is to pay more than 50% up front so I can limit my car payments. My car insurance will increase drastically with a new car because I only have liability on my older model now.

I could wait to buy the car when I can pay for it in full, but I was hoping a car loan would help improve my credit so I can get a better rate on a home loan in a few more years. What would you suggest?

Mary Hunt: Well, as I already mentioned ... I hate car payments and you should too. I can't think of a good reason you should get a car loan to improve your credit score. Nix! I'd rather see you wait as you suggest, or buy the best car you can with the cash you have saved. Then keep saving (it's like making car payments to yourself!) and keep upgrading. As for insurance, you will need to carry additional insurance as your car increases in value, so plan for that, too. But owning it outright will always give you the best options.

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Happy with a modest life on the Eastern Shore: For those who hate shopping but want SOMETHING to do with their time, or for those who would like to give but are truly pressed financially -- give of your head, your heart and your hands by volunteering. There is a volunteer opportunity for just about anybody out there, regardless of their skills and resources. My husband and I volunteer with Rebuilding Together, the nation's largest home repair and rehabilitation organization, which helps low-income homeowners who are elderly, disabled or families with children live independently in a warm, safe, dry home. A woman in our community has knitted booties for EVERY baby born in our local hospital for over 25 years.

Perhaps you can deliver Meals on Wheels, read to someone, plant public areas with the local garden club, re-shelve books at the public library.

You'll feel great and in many cases, it won't cost you a penny!

Michelle Singletary: Good advice.

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Piscataway NJ: I guess I would say my strategy is to think big rather than small in saving money. Mostly, don't buy more house or more car than you need. Especially in housing, if you have a bigger house or live in a fancier neighborhood, you will feel like you have to fill the house with expensive things, or keep up with people. I have come to look at excessive things as a burden rather than an asset, it's just more to take care of and keep clean.

I also subscribe to the "don't shop" theory, the less you are in stores, the less you will buy.

My financial achievement I am proudest of, besides not being in debt: as a single mother, I have been able to get my kids through college with NO loans for me or them. Not many can say that these days! And I am not rich, either... it has been a combination of saving, and teaching them to live simply too.

Michelle Singletary: You go girl!

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Anonymous: Hi,

Do you have any suggestions for self employed people who have no regular income? Both my husband and I are independent contractors and we are not paid any set amount or on any regular schedule. I find it hard to follow any type of budget or plan ahead for future income.

Thanks

Mary Hunt: Oh, do I! I call this mystery means ... you have no idea what your "means" are going to be each month. Here's the deal: Most self employed people don't understand they have to wear TWO hats: You are the employer and the employee. As the employer you have to be very strict and put your Employee on a salary! Yes a SALARY. Determine the very least you can live on in a month. That is your new salary. As money comes in to your employer, it goes into a separate account. From that account you pay yourself the employee your salary every month. Not one penny more! If you are not able to do that, you'd better consider this is more of a hobby, not a job you can count on.

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Anonymous: Every time you talk about how bad it is to lease a car, it makes me feel horrible for having to rent. Is there a difference?

Michelle Singletary: You poor dear. Yes there is a difference. I certainly would never want people to feel bad. We all do what we think is best. My job is to help you see your way to perhaps a better way.

So leasing a car vs. renting. Well in you live in a high cost area certainly it's going to cost you more to buy a home than it will ever to buy a car. You can buy a decent used car for thousands dollars. Can't get a decent house for that.

So don't feel bad about renting if that is what you can afford now. It's true that homeownership is the number one way Americans build wealth but for your rent money you are getting something in return -- a roof over your head.

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Debt-proofing your marriage...is it that easy?: I got through college and grad school (thanks to working full-time and a very generous father) with no debt whatsoever. Of course, then I have to go and fall in love with a guy with enormous student loans (over $100,000). I love him and will marry him, but how do I reconcile the fact that by marrying him, I take that debt on myself?

Mary Hunt: Well at least you understand what you'll be getting! But this is HUGE and I want you to really think things thru. May I be your caution flag? If this is bothering you now ... it's going to REALLY both you later unless you can reconcile in your heart and mind it is what you truly are committed to do. Yes you need to read my book Debt-Proof Your Marriage. (Is this guy a physician? Lawyer? Wow ... $100Gs is a hefty load of student debt. I hope he's making good use of that education!) Money will be your #1 bone of contention so it's best you think of these things now.

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Upper Marlboo, MD: I was laid off in 2003 and it took me nearly a year to find a new job. As a new homeowner, I managed to hold on to my new home, by the grace of God. Despite this difficult experience, I think it has made me a stronger person, both emotionally and financially. My question relates to my credit rating. Due to the 18 months in which I was late on my bills, my A credit rating has slipped to a C. I've now been paying all my bills on time for the last 6 months and want to refinance my ARM mortgage. However, the rates I'm being quoted are far from desireble. How long do you estimate I should wait before I try to refinance again?

Mary Hunt: Well my friend, let me say I am so proud of you for how far you've come, and how you've hung in there! Of course every lender has different standards. Six-months ontime payments is usually a good record for credit-card issuers. But mortgage lenders tend to be a bit more strict, especially to qualify for the better rates. I'd give it another six months. In the meantime, don't stew over your credit report. Keep making your payments on time, keep a nice big gap between what you owe and your available credit on any credit card accounts you have and enjoy that job.

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Washington, D.C.: Michelle and Mary,

What you want to be called is frugal. Cheapskate and miser have the same definition and it is derogatory.

Mary Hunt: Haha! Yes, but it is not nearly as cute as "cheapskate." I guess you might have noticed in an earlier message that we are taking the huge step of renaming Cheapskate Monthly. For 14 years it's worked well, and now we are moving to a more dignified level: Debt-Proof Living newsletter. (Is that better?)

Michelle Singletary: I know that frugal sounds better but just like the word cheap. But perhaps I should reconsider as well. Let me think on this.

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Anonymous: What would be some tips on how to stay on a budget while working as a professional? Meaning, I can easily cut out things I do at home, but what about mandatory lunch outings, meetings, non-expensed dinners, and other work related-expenses?

Michelle Singletary: I would question your premise of "manatory lunch outings" or dinners etc. I work from home now but when I did go into the office I sometimes got trapped into thinking I HAD to do lunch with co-workers and sources to be sure I was up on things. Well you know what. I stop doing lunches, saved my money and I'm still up on things and my career hasn't suffered one little bit. If you need time with co-workers or your boss become creative in finding time or things that won't cost you so much.

Mary Hunt: Wow, that's always a tough situation. I suggest you see that as a regular budget item. You need to plan ahead, put money aside for this part of your professional life and then be just as compliant as possible. It's annoying for one person at a business lunch to squabble over the bill or insist that everyone drink water! (Haha ... we cheapskates can be so annoying!) I would rather see you bow out altogether on occasion than going and making a cheap spectacle of yourself. You could always have a "previous commitment" you need to tend to ;)

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Oakton, VA: Ladies --

It is so good to hear from others who don't like to shop. It takes all I have to walk into a mall on the few occasions that I must.

Also, my husband and I have a spending rule (and this is after we put our designated amount into savings each month and take care of the bills) -- if something costs more than $50 -- both of us have to agree on the purchase. Friends of mine thint this is ridiculous but it not only curbs impulsive spending, it helps to have input as to whether or not the particular expenditure is the best use of our money. We feel secure financially due to checks and balances like this one.

Thank you for continuing to dispense realistic and sensible advice.

Mary Hunt: Hey, I like you guys! We should hang out. As for your critical friends, don't tell them what you do. Besides they're only critical becuase they're probably up to their eyeballs in debt!

Michelle Singletary: My husband and I have the same rule... for us it's "it takes two yeses and one no" to do anything. In other words we both have to say yes to a purchase. One no and can't buy it.

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Washington, D.C.: Hello,

I'm very careful with money - watch every penny - pay cash for cars and keep them 15 years. I recently came into an inheritance and decided to remodel my kitchen. It is a slippery slope and driving me crazy. If you've ever worked with a designer, you know they never finish. And don't get me started on contractors! Will I ever recover from this experience? I don't know. But I've certainly learned my lesson.

Mary Hunt: Hey, I have a different take. Enjoy this! You've certainly earned this opportunity to have a lovely new kitchen. I know it's hard to spend a lot of money at once, but this is a blessing you need to allow yourself to enjoy. It's not always fun to be a contractor, so maybe you need to lighten up just a tiny bit?

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Exton, PA: Mary, I've been a big fan and CM subscriber for years....you truly started me down a long, rewarding path as now I coach a personal finance class and am helping all kinds of other folks get debt-free (we are still working on it too; you know, the teacher always learns more than the students!) Anyway, throughout all this, my husband has been sooo resistant...he's convinced that we are "suffering" today (when I say we can't afford things), and what's the point of saving money if we can't enjoy our home and our kids (adding a pool, finishing the basement, etc.) - while the kids are home - that we won't be able to have the money saved to do these things until after they're gone, and then what's the point? (Kids are currently 10 & 15) I can argue all the other points (used vs new car, etc.) - but I'm stuck on finding an answer to this that will resonate with him.

HELP???????????????

Mary Hunt: How nice to chat with you! Thanks for being a big fan (We'll have to start calling it DPL, not CM!) Anyway ... this is tricky. I believe you are part of a partnership in your marriage and that means compromise. You need to find a common ground, even if that menas you need to give in on some things. A big debt for a swimming pool ... hmm, let's see. That's a big pill to swallow, so maybe you don't want to give in THAT far! But remember that life is to be enjoyed! These are precious years ... they will go so fast. I would suggest there might be other ways you can accomplish what your husband wants that won't require you to go against what is comfortable. Our boys are now 30 and 31 and I can assure you neither of them have one good memory of the 7,500 gallon above ground pool I just HAD to buy so they would have memorble childhoods. And it was a cool pool, too. Just something to think about!

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Mississauga, Ontario,Canada: Hi Mary,

My husband has been uemployed for the last 2 months, we've been doing alright thanks to you. Have a little bit of money in the contengency account which I don't think will need to touch. My husband has a job interview tomorrow with a small company. One question they asked him was if we have a laptop computer and we do not could we get one as this is something he would need for this particular job. My question is should we use the money in the contengency fund or should we pay monthly on cc. Any suggestions? We worked so hard at saving that money, we have about $4,000. saved up so far and I figured we would need probably 2,000 for a laptop maybe less if we're lucky.

Mary Hunt: Well, I certainly hope this job pans out for you! I wouldn't jump too quickly to get a laptop. If that is a requirement of the job I would be surprised. Perhaps they were just curious? Play it by ear. I would ask the employer to buy it up front and then to deduct small weekly payments from his paycheck. Still it does seem odd he woudl have to supply his own computer! Good luck. (I would not touch your Contingency Fund!)

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Washington, D.C.: Do you have any suggestions for saving on dry-cleaning? I've got a job where I have to wear "nice" clothes, but many of them are dry-clean only. I hate spending on dry-cleaning!!

Mary Hunt: Yes ... find a flat rate cleaner. They're all over Orange County where I live ... $1.49 per item. That's a good deal (excluding leather and formals ... or as I like to say, leather formals). Also if you always change when you first get home you won't have to dry clean so often. Hang wools and linens in the fresh air outdoors to air out and you can avoid so many trips to the cleaners.

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DC: Serious car stress. Own my home (well, it's affordably mortgaged) no other debt except a current car payment and minimal student loans. Problem is the car. I realised I bought the wrong (very inexpensive) car. Am stressing seriously over financing a new (roughly $22K) car, but given that I am on the road over 300 mi/wk, I need to be safer and more comfortable. I have the cash, but it would deplete over half my savings. I have no investments - but I cannot figure out if it is better to get a commercial loan, use my home equity or use cash to buy outright? Help.

Mary Hunt: Well my friend ... and I know you don't want to hear this ... I HATE car loans. Just me perhaps, but I'd go with that cash option you suggest. Then crash save to replace the money in your savings.

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Ft Lauderdale: Hi Michelle, Although I agree with the idea of giving back, keep in mind that not all people feel comfortable with tithing - especially if they live paycheck to paycheck - so volunteering can be a good option for them. I make a substantial income and but outcome of my I volunteer far outweighs the financial donations I make - not to mention the time I am volunteering where I could make even more money.

Mary Hunt: Can I jump in here? Giving does not mean it must go through a church or even a faith-based organization. I think giving to a family in need in your neighborhood or a crisis pregnancy center in your community is a wonderful way to give. It's important to give your time too, for sure! But never underestimate the power of giving away some of what is most precious to you: Your money!

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Michelle Singletary: Well that's it for today. Great questions. I'm sorry if we didn't get to your question. I really hope we helped. Mary is great and I hope you get a chance to read her book.

See you all in two weeks!

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