Color of Money Book Club

Michelle Singletary hosted authors Ellen Sabin and Evelyn Capassakis for a discussion of this month's Color of Money Book Club selections. Sabin wrote "The Giving Book" (Watering Can, $19.95). Capassakis is a co-author of "PricewaterhouseCoopers Guide to Charitable Giving" (John Wiley & Sons, $19.95).

Read Michelle's column: Making a Habit Of Generosity (September 18, 2005)

A transcript follows.

Read Michelle's past Color of Money columns .

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washingtonpost.com: In today's column , Michelle wrote about the thousands of water-damaged cars that will flood the used-car market.

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Michelle Singletary: Good afternoon all. As I watch the President in a live press conference right now about Hurricane Rita this couldn't be a better topic since chances are there will be even more people in need soon.

So let's get started.

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Columbia, Md.: I realize your column deals with money issues, but I couldn't let a discussion on charity go without noting that there are MANY non-monetary ways to help out for Katrina and local issues, and sometimes they can be even more rewarding than simply writing a check.

Ellen Sabin: I wanted to respond to your comment--as I completely agree with you. Giving money is a great way to make a difference but, as you pointed out there are many many ways to DO things to make a difference. I hoped, in my book, to show children that their ACTIONS had an impact . That they can do things like pick up litter, visit someone who is sick, help their neighbor shovel snow, etc... to have an impact and make the world a better place. I hoped to help children--and their families -- see the many ways we can all give all the time!

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DC: I have a pet peeve about raising money through "walk-a-thons". It just seems like wasted effort and energy that could be harnessed for perhaps cleaning up streets or waterways or something more tangible.

Michelle Singletary: Interested point. Anybody else care to weigh in on this?

Personally, my pet charity peeve is school fund raising. HATE IT.

I refuse to use my children (or friends) as unpaid sales people. In this case if my kids' schools are in need of funds I save just give the money. For goodness sake who needs overpriced candy bars, cookies, wrapping paper. Now that time we shove this stuff on our friends, family and co-workers can indeed be better spent.

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Upper Marlboro, Md.: The outcome of hurricane Katrina has been devastating for all Americans, however when it comes to giving aid to those affected and they deserve all the charitable help they can get. Why is there not such an outpouring of support for the poor in general and same outpouring support for homeless veterans? I don't get the waves in which Americans show compassion during national disasters but don't show the same support in helping every day struggling people.

Ellen Sabin: I've spent most of my career working for nonprofit organizations that serve various communities. I've seen how instant media attention can draw in the support, attention and good will of many. Unfortunately, given our short attention spans, we then often move on to the next issue-- or our daily lives and sometimes forget about the things that are important around us. I think it really takes a focus to learn, and teach our children, that we are all connected. I also think that if we figure out the things that matter to us... we can do things about them all the time.

Michelle Singletary: Amen. I totally agree with Upper Marlboro. That's why I picked these two books this month...because I know next month when the media turns its attention to some other thing people will go back to their habit of ignoring the plight of so many people here and abroad.

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Non-Monetary No-Good: I've noticed FEMA and Red Cross both have turned up their noses to material goods, requesting cash only. There's the example of the water bottle company who wanted to donate water and was told, thanks but not thanks, just send the dough. Yet there were plenty of folks without water. I don't have money to give, but I could offer some extra socks and t-shirts from my closet. And while FEMA and Red Cross don't want them, I'm sure there are people without a clean t-shirt right now, who would love one.

Michelle Singletary: First, understand that in those first few days it was so hard getting water and such to people. We should have had something in place but didn't. That's not the fault of the Red Cross. I put the blame squarely on the federal gov't and local governments.

Second, often charities can't handle the clothes and such people send. They just don't have a place to put the stuff. They feel its better if folks get money and buy exactly what they NEED. Sounds like you have such a kind heart but having participated in similar drives at my church people donate some funky stuff. Stuff they wouldn't even put on their dog. Then the organization is struck trying to get rid of the stuff.

But hey dont' forget the need is great in our country. If you have nice clothes and such you want to give away go take it to a homeless shelter. Even before Katrina there were lots of homeless folks in need.

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Albany, NY: I'm a teacher and I was wondering if any schools had incorporated these books into their curriculum?

Ellen Sabin: Yes, with schools across the country looking for tools to utilize in their character education intiatives, many schools have used The Giving Book as a teaching tool. As schools and teachers began asking for my book to give to students to teach about charity and broader themes of empathy and community, I posted a free teacher's guide on my website so that they could more easily use the book while filling national and state content standards in the classroom.

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Wheaton, Md.: I have a peeve against bake sales or sales of other food items where the money generated is less than the cost of the ingredients and labor to produce it. Why not just write a check to a charity instead?

Michelle Singletary: Exactly! Couldn't agree more.

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Bethesda, MD: I remember there were so many incidents of fraud or mishandling of money from Red Cross after 9/11. And now I'm hearing how they are just wasting money again after Katrina. I don't know about others, but I don't trust them enough to give them money. I rather give material goods to those I know will receive it. Others' thoughts?

Michelle Singletary: Thoughts?

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New York, NY: Well, I think walkathons are silly too, but they exist and work because they create a spectacle. Amassing a crowd of people creates visibility for a cause and lets participants feel like they are part of something.

Michelle Singletary: Okay, I get that. Good point. Not that my thighs couldn't use a walkathon anyway :)

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Regular Givers: I give 10% of my gross income away each pay period which does not give much room for additional giving in incidences like Hurricane Katrina. In fact, I look like the cheap one when my co-workers suddenly take on a project (Christmas drive, family displaced by fire, etc) and can't give a large donation like the others who unlikely give from each paycheck. Just a comment.

Evelyn Capassakis: One thing you might consider doing is holding back part of your regular monthly donation, anticipating the need to make these "extra" contributions every so often. If you don't have to make any extra gifts, then you can "top off" your gifts every so often, like at hte end of the year. Another possibility, if you are committed to the monthly 10%, is to give of your time. When people come looking for donations, offer up your time for the cause.

Michelle Singletary: I totally agree with Evelyn. Good, good suggestions. And remember don't feel guilty if you set a giving budget and you give. If something else comes up (at your kid's school, office) you can say with a clear conscience and good heart -- No. Be honest. The truth is always the best excuse. And if somebody wants to still rag on you then it's their problem not yours.

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Arlington , VA: There are many causes which I want to help, but of course I have limited funds to donate. But if I get a mailing from a reputable organization (say Red Cross or Food Bank or American Cancer Association). I make out a check for $5. It may not seem like much, but I feel like there are so many deserving organizations and I basically live paycheck to paycheck, so can't afford much. But I figure if everyone donated at $5 then they would raise a lot of money.

Ellen Sabin: I agree! Part of giving is making it part of your life; a habit... a thing you do. If everyone gave when they saw something that mattered to them, we would all be better off. As "Arlington" pointed out, it's not really the amount given, it is the act of doing so and it all adds up.

Michelle Singletary: And please $5 is a lot of money. Heck $1 is a lot of money to folks who ain't got nothing. Give what you can and know that every "little" bit helps. If you can't give then give of your time, which quite frankly in our time starved society is often worth so much more than money.

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Re: Non-Monetary No-Good: I don't think the material goods people were sending should be stored in a place, but stuck on a truck and brought to the people who needed it, immediately. Same could go for dried food items. In this country you can't even donate a hot meal for fear of being sued if someone gets a tummy ache. Ridiculous!!

Michelle Singletary: How true.

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St. Petersburg, Fla.: I don't begrudge anyone giving money for these causes, and encourage people to do so. Because I am a regular donor to other causes, I won't be giving large amounts to these relief efforts -- nor did I do so for tsunami relief -- because of the large outpouring from non-regular donors. I think it is wonderful for people to learn that they can give and it doesn't really hurt to do it; for some, it is the first time that they have considered charitable donations. It is just as important not to forget the day-to-day needs of the Red Cross, veteran's organizations, scholarship funds, and arts organizations or whatever organization that still needs volunteer hours and dollars.

Michelle Singletary: Amen!

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Bake Sales: I don't think you can discount the benefit of bake sales! There are some people that like to bake, and other that enjoy purchasing the baked goodies.

Michelle Singletary: I hear you. And I understand the community spirit it can generate. I mostly object to commercial goods that are sold to raise money, especially when a GREAT percentage of the money does not go back to the charity. That's why I flatly refuse to give money though a professional fund raising group.

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Ellen Sabin: I'm with NY, NY on her/his response. I think that it is sometimes a necessary thing- to get that media/public attention-- to do some events that serve to increase awareness. In addition, many people find that doing something-- walking, baking, giving blood, etc... helps them feel more active in their participation. In the end, that's gotta be a good thing!

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Washington, DC: I have a question about why we should support campaigns such as United Way or Combined Federal Campaign. If I donate $100 directly to the charity of my choice, it receives $100. If I give $100 to CFC and designate it to the same charity, it receives $90. So why pay the overhead? Thanks!

Michelle Singletary: This is a really good question and one I sometimes struggle with myself. First, rarely does any charity use 100 percent ofyour donation for their efforts. Some has to go to overhead. Second, I believe in the workplace campaigns because it serves little known charties which often have a great deal of trouble competing for dollars from the big names. When you give thu these campaigns those charties then don't have to spend precious money advertising and promoting that they exist. Thus donated dollars are able to reach the people how really need the money. Besides people say they will give but forget or get busy etc. When you give thu your job with automatic deductions the deed is done. So I'm very much in favor of the United Way or Combined Federal Campaign.

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Michelle Singletary: I have to say one thing. The comments from you all just warms my heart. I think it's wonderful that these books I've selected help open up discussion on this very important topic. Where ever you stand on giving (to whom, what and how much) at least talking about it could lead to more giving.

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Los Angeles, CA: My question is for Ellen -- do you have any tips on how best to teach children about charity?

Ellen Sabin: Children learn these core values from a young age. In general- some tips include:

1 Be a good role model-as a volunteer and a donor;

2.Praise your children for their giving actions;

3.Expose children to charity work-take them to your walk-a-thon and talk to them about your donations;

4.Encourage them to see that their kind and charitable acts can make a difference;

5.Find resources to help enroll them in being excited about charity and giving -- there are some great books and website that will help you teach charity to your children.

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Arlington, Va.: Bethesda is wrong. I don't remember anything about the Red Cross wasting money or fraud after 9/11, nor the Red Cross doing the same after Katrina. The internet is full of bad rumors and confusion (Red Cross is NOT the federal govt). In such an emergency situation as Katrina or Rita, individual donations to folks you think need it is basically selfish. Major organizations are the ones that can do these major jobs. And cash is what they need to get the right supplies to the right places. The NY Times once followed a donated t-shirt through the process -- old clothes are generally sold by the ton by charities who cannot handle the load. Cash helps folks best. Have a garage sale if that's what you need to do to raise cash, but don't send your old stuff.

Michelle Singletary: Sorry, I didn't mean to pass that comment along to criticize the Red Cross. I like the final sentence of the comment.

Keep the comments coming. I love a good debate.

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McLean, VA: Hi Michelle and Ladies, thank you for doing this chat. I recently left my job and do not have another one yet (I just couldn't stay there anymore). Luckily, I don't have have very many living expenses, but I am on a tight budget and may have to dip into savings. However, I also know that I'm more fortunate than those down south, and I want to help in anyway I can. What is the best way for me to give charitably, considering my tight financial circumstances? Thank you so very much for the advice!

Evelyn Capassakis: Given that you can't do much financially, the best way, then, is to give of your time. Look for organizations that interest you, and see if you can hook up to do a phone-a-thon, walk-a-thon, or other activity that doesn't require money.

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Olney, Md.: Marc Fisher, in his online chat, took issue with the high salaries of many Red Cross staffers. Should this be an issue or concern in determining who to give to or should we just care about expenses as a percentage of contributions? Are 200K - 300K salaries justified at non-profits?

washingtonpost.com: Marc Fisher's discussion archive is online here .

Michelle Singletary: Interesting question. But I like going with what percentage of a non-profit's budget goes directly to services. And remember just the organization is a non-profit doesn't mean the staff is. If they run a large group with an amazing amount of responsibility (hello Red Cross) I say pay them well. One of the first questions I ask someone soliciting for a charity is how much of my money will be used to pay fundraising costs. The Better Business Bureau's Wise Giving Alliance says charities should not spend more than 35 percent of what they raise on fundraising.

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Columbia Again....: "I've noticed FEMA and Red Cross both have turned up their noses to material goods, requesting cash only."

This is true, but if you do some hunting, you can find smaller agencies that need physical items. For example, on eBay there have been several threads by people near the affected area volunteering to take materials in, especially women's plus size clothing, which apparently is in short supply. I saw that and boxed up some old clothes that I was planning to sell, and donated them instead. While the Red Cross may be the biggest charity out there, it is not the only one that could use our help.

Michelle Singletary: Another good point. Thanks.

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Silver Spring, MD: Re: Regular Givers

I am one too, and I have no problems with saying "No, I have a budget". PLUS these "little extras" do not provide a receipt so I can't write them off anyway.

Michelle Singletary: See, "No" works.

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Greenville, NC: How can I give to hurricane relief, and be absolutely sure that my gift (or at least part of it) is going to a truly needy person, as opposed to a luxury item, or fraudulent person?

Evelyn Capassakis: You can never be absolutely sure, but one way that you can find out about an organiztion is to look them up on line. For example, guidestar.org gives lots of info on charities and might help you here.

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washingtonpost.com: GuideStar.org

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A bit off topic: : But I wanted to send you, Michelle a warm congratulations for you new TV One show!

I saw the promo for the show about two weeks ago and literally wanted to call you (not that we are friends, but you are a friend-in-my-head). When will the first show air? Or have I already missed it? "Singletary Says" will be a DVR must!

BTW: Braids were ON FIRE! Where did you get them done?

Thanks

Michelle Singletary: Oooh, you so sweet. Can't wait for the television show to start. It's coming soon. Sorry I don't have a firm date yet. But soon. Keep checking www.tvoneonline.com.

And child the braids have saved me time and money. With three kids I'm lucky if I remember to put on clothes when I leave the house.

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Adams Morgan: While I would not discourage anyone from donating to the relief efforts in the Gulf Coast, I would really like to implore upon folks to not forget about small, local nonprofits that deal with issues right in your own backyard. After Sept. 11, small local nonprofits saw a sharp drop off in charitable giving and I fear that between the tsunami late last year, and now Katrina (and possibly Rita) the same thing is going to happen. Please give to those efforts, but also don't forget about the women's shelter next door or the camp for kids....

Michelle Singletary: Or your church!!!!! Mine does a great deal in the community.

Sounds like we are beating a drum here but seriously folks when major disasters like Katrina hit I feel so sorry for the other charities out there because I know they end up suffering. It's sad, really. On the one hand it's wonderful that people want to give when such events happen but what about the rest of the year, the rest of the world.

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Frederick, MD: Girl, don't tell me about the hassles of school fundraisers! Cookies, wrapping paper, candy, magazines, books, pizza, and the list goes on. Someone was selling candy bars in our office for raise money so the kid could go on a school-sponsored ski trip!!

Michelle Singletary: Makes me want to scream. Send your own kid on a ski trip. Not that I don't think such trips are important just hate the hawking all the time at our schools.

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Washington, DC: Is the IRS allowing employees to donate unused vacation, sick or personal time back to their employers in exchange for the employer donating the value of the time to qualified charities for Katrina (and unfortunately Rita) victims? Please tell us how we can do this (especially in the public sector). I have heard that the value of the donation can be deducted as a charitable contribution on the employee's tax return.

Evelyn Capassakis: Similar to the rule for frequent flyer miles, you the employee don't get a deduction for the lost "vacation time." You were never taxed on the income, so the government doesn't give you a deduction. It is the employer who takes the charitable deduction instead of the compensation deduction if they had paid you. The program, by the way, only runs only through 2006.

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100% of donations going to Katrina: Oprah Winfrey is collecting donations on her website where 100% of the amount will go to the victims. She herself has donated $10M.

Michelle Singletary: Love Oprah!

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Arlington, VA: I don't know about other organization's (I thinking of foundations started by famous people), but the one Oprah started (her angel network), she pays for all overhead and anything you donate goes 100 percent to the cause. I think with some research you could find some more like these? Just an idea for people who don't want money to go for overhead. Another idea would be through your place of worship. I know a group of women at my mosque (when I was growing up in the south) who would find needy families in the area and help them. Since they volunteered their time there was no overhead.

Michelle Singletary: Did I mention I love Oprah and her spirit of giving. What a woman!

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Denver, CO: I serve as the community outreach contact for my company here in Denver. We're interested in working with schools and touching more kids this way. How would you recommend we best do this?

Ellen Sabin: Happily, many corporations are partipating in wonderful ways in their communities. Some companies offer their employees time off to volunteer; others have organized outreach programs. I've had several corporations donate bulk supplies of my book to the schools/groups in their community. I've even seen some of them do reading events where their employees serve as mentors and get to work with the children in groups or one-on-one. Not only does this seem to please the employees (as they get to participate and volunteer) but then they get to teach/enroll children in doing the same thing!

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Largo, Md.: This may be a silly question, but you can donate frequent flyer miles to charity. Donations are tax deductible. How do you determine the value of the miles?

Evelyn Capassakis: Unfortunately, you don't get a deduction for gifts of frequent flyer miles. The theory is that you were never taxed on them for income tax purposes when you got them, so you don't get a deduction when you give them away.

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washingtonpost.com: Scammers Hit Web In Katrina's Wake (Sept. 1, 2005)

Michelle Singletary: If you're thinking about giving, check out this story. And always check out the charity.

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RE: CFC Giving: As an employee of a charity that receives CFC and United Way funds, one of the things I always tell people is that the CFC/UW donations are something we can plan with. Because donors make their pledges at a particular time (usually fall) and the money is collected and distributed throughout the year, we can make plans based on what donors have pledged and the amount we then expect to receive each month throughout the year.

Those individual checks are great and we can always find a use for them, but we don't know when/if they're coming and so can't plan ahead with them. For small charities especially, a consistent source of funds in a known amount is really important.

Michelle Singletary: Good point. Another reason to give this way.

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Arlington, VA: My son is 2 1/2. Is there anything I can do know to start instilling the idea of charity in him?

Ellen Sabin: Arlington: first off, that you are asking that question makes me guess that he will grow up and be a great 'giver'! Second, for children that young, the best way to start is to acknowledge them when they are giving or thoughtful. Children seek approval / feedback and when they learn that they please their parents and those around them by sharing, smiling, being thoughtful-- it becomes something they want to do all the time!

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Washington, DC: I've worked in nonprofits for years, and many nonprofits have in their charter to not spend more than 30% on administrative costs. But that 30% does pay salaries to those who disseminate information to the public on their cause, as well as, for fundraising. But it's important that that 30% be spread in a just manner. It's not right for the Executive Director to have a million dollar home.

Also, regarding the comment on red cross CEOs, yes they should be paid for all of their responsibilities, but not if they are not being responsible or cannot account to the public for how they spend their money!!

Michelle Singletary: Intersting. Should non-profit CEOS and high level executives be paid equal to their for profit colleagues? Any thoughts (especially from lower paid workers at non-profits?)

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Maryland : On the whole the USA is a very generous nation so I won't berate giving just to special causes. I doubt many countries can match our giving, either to internal or international causes.

Michelle Singletary: I hear you but it's still a shame that in one of the richest countries in the world we have homeless families, children who go hungry and people who can't get medical treatment because they don't have health insurance.

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Arlington, VA: Hi Michelle,

I have a question that doesn't have anything to do with charitable giving, but would appreciate your thoughts.

I'm a single, 26 year old female who is looking into purchasing a first home (condo). I don't have any money to put down and would be getting an interest-only mortgage. I just got off the phone with my dad (who is not a real estate professional btw) and he was extremely negative on that and basically said I'd be making a huge mistake and could risk losing a lot of money.

I know these mortgages don't pay off any of the principle but I'm not planning on living there for more than a couple of years. You don't pay off the principle, but you make money when you sell the property because of the increase in equity, correct? I'd be buying a place inside the Beltway and I can't imagine that property values are going to drop to the point that I'd be losing money a few years down the road when I sell.

I'm just tired of throwing money away on rent and am looking forward to owning a place of my own and thought this would be a good way to start, and now I'm very confused. I loved your book and continue to enjoy your columns so I thought you'd be a great source of information. I'd appreciate any help. Thanks!

Evelyn Capassakis: Jumping in for Michelle, here, let me suggest that you should consider the cyclical nature of the real estate market. Since you are young, you probably don't remember about 15 years ago when real estate prices had gone so high that people were scrambling to buy, then they dropeed like a rock when interest rates rose, so that a lot of people were out of a lot of money. People were forced to sell because the equity in their homes reached a dangerously low level. At the risk of sounding like your dad, I think you might want to do a little more research and analysis before you jump in.

Michelle Singletary: Evelyn, you jumped in just fine. Good answer. Also Ms. Arlington go to my archive I did a few columns recently on interest-only loans. You may in the end decide to go ahead but as Evelyn said be sure you understand ALL the risks because there are many.

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Los Angeles, CA: I'm active in my community and believe that teaching children about giving takes a commitment. I glanced at the giving book and wonder how it can be spread further?

Ellen Sabin: Thanks, LA, glad you liked it! I initially wrote it for my niece for her 6th birthday--so it's pretty close to my heart. It just came out in November, but is spreading through venues that seek to engage children in community. Schools are using it in their curriculum for teaching character education; churchs/temples have incorporated it into the teaching of tithing/tzedakah in Sunday school program and groups like the Girl Scouts etc. have spread it around. People have donated supplies to after school programs or to groups that don't have budgets (which I am pleased about because the message gets out to children that everyone has something to give!)

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To Arlington, Va.: Whether you are religious or not - I am reminded of a story from the Bible - where a woman gave two mites (less than a penny!) and dropped it into coffers (w/o any fanfare) and then a man who had lots gave bags of money (that he would never notice) with GREAT fanfare, and Jesus turned to the disciples and said that in his view the woman had given FAR more than the man. It is not the amount, but the spirit in which it is given. Bless you for your giving.

Michelle Singletary: Or as it says in Matthew Chapter 6

"Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in heaven. Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet. . ."

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Manassas, Va.: I am in the processof settng up a giving campaign -- any insights?

Evelyn Capassakis: When you are setting up a giving campaign, you need to think through how you are going to do it. Are you planning to set up a separatre charity? If so, there are lots of regulatory hoops to jump through, and lots of tax rules to comply with if you want gifts to your charity to be tax deductible.

I you are making direct gifts to needy individuals, then you should be aware that you get no tax deduction for it.

The best way for an individual to set up a giving campaign may be to hook up with an established charity, contributions to which are deductible, and organize a campaign though them, so that deductible contributions are made directly to them.

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Washington, DC: You said in your newsletter that moving a lot doesn't hurt your credit score. Actually, it can hurt your score indirectly:

When you move, you are likely to have a large number of credit inquiries appear on your report (new utility companies, new local bank, etc.). These stay on your report for two years, so if you move every year, you will always have several credit inquiries on your report.

The impact of inquiries is not large, but it can add up.

Michelle Singletary: Good point. And for those who don't get the newsletter, please sign up. It's a great way to keep track of the many personal finance issues that we cover in the Post.

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Washington, D.C.: There isn't a single human enterprise that isn't, to some degree, wasteful.

Using that as an excuse not to give is pretty disgraceful. Do your homework, do due diligence, don't give to clearly incompetent or fraudulent enterprises, but please. The federal government has some waste. PRIVATE SECTOR has plenty of waste.

You know your own household budget has some waste.

You didn't really -need- that Starbucks coffee today, did you?

And by the way, one of friends works for a non-profit she believes in. She doesn't think she should be paid like an investment banker, but she should be paid a living wage. They do good, hard work. They shouldn't have to take a vow of poverty.

Michelle Singletary: Got to love you guys. You're on the money today.

I say Amen to this comment.

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Re: Nonprofit salaries: If CEOs from public and private sectors should be paid equally, which I respect, then so should their employees. Nonprofit employees are usually extremely educated, experienced, often over-qualified, and always underpaid. Now that's just not right. Pick equality through-out the organization, or if lower incomes is more important than the cause, then the CEO should put their money where their mouth is, and implement that for themselves. Who's doing the real work here anyways, and help making all this money??!

Michelle Singletary: I hear you!

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washingtonpost.com: Sign up for Michelle's weekly personal finance e-letter here .

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Bethesda, MD: Michelle, there's no way CFC takes a full 10% before sending money to charity. There are overhead costs to anything, but it's minimal -- not 10%. Whoever is submitted that is doing a disservice.

Michelle Singletary: I'm not sure what the amount is but I think the larger point was that they do their job in helping get money on a year round basis to many charities. Overall, I think it's worth giving to CFC and United Way because of that.

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Re: nonprofit wages: If you pay people less than they would get elsewhere, you're counting on your employees being so devoted to your cause that they'll stay. I'd say it's better to raise more money from your donors--whose goodwill you -can- count on--and pay your employees what they're really worth. You wouldn't go to Staples and ask for a discount on pencils, would you?

Michelle Singletary: Well, I would go to staples and try to get a discount on pencils but I agree with your larger point :)

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Re: Los Angeles: In my synagogue growing up, we were taught to put loose change in a tin and when it was full, my mom would take it to the bank to change into cash, then we donated that.

Ellen Sabin: These kinds of family activities go a LONG way in doing what Michelle's article articulated.... teaching people to give year round. And, there are a lot of other family rituals that can incorporate charity and volunteering. Folks can go to parks and pick up litter, use Thanksgiving as a holiday to give food to a shelter, write letters/make gifts to people stationed abroad during the holidays... many things that families can do as a team that become fun and often get passed to each next generation in that family.

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Non-profit Salaries: I've worked in non-profit organizations my entire working life. I have a law degree from a top university and the loan payments to go with it. I understand that I make less than my for-profit colleagues. Right now it's about 3-5 times less. I wouldn't trade what I do for the world. I know that my director makes more money, and he should. He still makes less than his for-profit peers.

I don't think our organization should pay him a huge salary because we'd have no money left over, but I do get a little annoyed at the general theory that those of us who dedicate our lives to non-profit work are less valuable than our for-profit peers. We should make decent salaries.

It ties in with the idea that charities have to have overhead. Someone has to put food on my table and if you are saying you don't like that we have overhead, you are essentially saying that while you don't want to give the time to do this work, you think I should totally donate my time for free.

It's great that Oprah and other rich folk are doing what they can, but remember that 100% of what you give can go to victims because Oprah is paying the valuable employees that do the work to get the help out there.

Michelle Singletary: As someone who has had family members recieve a great deal of services from non-profit workers I couldn't agree more with this reader. I've never more hard working loving people in my life. So I don't focus so much on the overhead as to how effective the organization is. High overhead isn't good but a fair one is well fair.

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Arlington, Va.: I'm wondering how hard it is for new charities to become established -- especially since so many are scams.

washingtonpost.com: Scammers Hit Web In Katrina's Wake (Sept. 1, 2005)

Evelyn Capassakis: Sadly, it's not that hard to set up a charity. With the right paperwork (e.g., a charitable trust or not-for-profit corporation) you can set one up pretty much over night. The IRS gives you more than a year to prove that you are a charitable organization worthy of getting a deduction. Similarly, the state attorney general doesn't check up on charities unless there's been a complaint or there's something wrong in an annual report. By that time, lots of people can have been, sadly, scammed.

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Arlington, VA: Since we're quoting religion, there's a saying in Islam that you left hand should not know what your right hand gave.

Michelle Singletary: Like that!

Unless of course you are married, then you need to know everything financial :)

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High Salaries for non-profit CEOs: I think the problem is that the people who are capable of doing a good job managing a non-profit need to be paid well or they won't work there. As sad as this may be, most people would probably take a job with a for-profit company over a non-profit if they would be paid a lot more. So you have to pay market value for the skills needed to run a large organization.

Ellen Sabin: Well, as just one person who has spent my entire career in nonprofit jobs, I will say respond by saying that many of us in the nonprofit sector get nonmonetary 'compensation' for our work, our hours, our schooling. Even when my salary has been lower than that of some of my equally trained peers, I must say that the rewards I get - for me-- are great!

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Mt. Rainier MD: Re school fundraising, I couldn't agree with Michelle more. It is teaching the kids to be more concerned about what they might get than what the school needs - the only way to get a free labor force is through bribery. I gave one kid a check made out to her school when she harassed me for 'not supporting education'. The check was never cashed. She had no interest in money that wouldn't earn her a bribe.

Michelle Singletary: As I said we are training them to be salespeople and to buy, buy, buy -- or better yet harass, harass, harass. I refuse to do it. I refuse to allow my kids to do it. I refuse to harass my friends, family and co-workers.

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Richmond, VA: As a pastor, I am very interested in reading your opinion: What do you believe are the primary reason(s) people give to a church, or other similar religious community?

Michelle Singletary: I like to think that people give because theyv'e been raised to be givers OR they know from personal experience the great need in the world. I give because I know what it's like to be poor. I watched as my disabled brother had to rely on a non-profit to help him live a decent life (in addition to what our family could do). I give because my pastor, John K. Jenkins of First Bapitist Church of Glenarden, encourages our congregation to be generious with what God has given to them.

I know giving is a personal thing and people have to decide what they can give and how much (time, money, clothes,etc.) but I firmly believe that giving should be central to your financial life.

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Seattle: Hello! I'm a 66 y.o. single retiree w/no dependents who is reasonably well off and who has, in the past, been quite generous in my charitable giving -- $15,000-20,000 p.a. Outside of a few small personal bequests, I'm leaving the lion's share of my estate to charity.

Earlier this year, however, I was seriously injured in an auto accident. Despite good insurance (I'm a retired federal employee), I've had to pay thousands in medical expenses, have my house made handicapped accessible, buy a handicapped van, and more. Needless to say, I have had to sharply curtail my charitable giving.

However, also needless to say, my mailbox continues to fill w/charitable pleas. I feel awful I can no longer give much money, but those who hound me continuously are making me more irritated than sad. I have written to the presidents of those organizations to whom I've made sizeable gifts in the past, explaining my situation. I also write across appeals requests, "Sorry, heavy medical expenses preclude my sending additional money." Yet the appeals keep coming. What else can I do?

FYI, one of the factors I use in deciding where to contribute is the number of follow-up appeals I receive. I've stopped donating to several entities, including the US Humane Society and our local public television station, who continued to send appeals after I twice explained in writing that I would no longer contribute if they contacted me again before a year had expired.

I also think it's important to keep a running account of your contributions. That way, if you make an "annual" contribution in May and they ask you to renew in Sept., you know they are not playing fair.

Michelle Singletary: I'm sorry you are being harassed. But feel good that you gave much when you could.

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Arlington, Va.: As part of our marriage preparation, my fiancee and I have been discussing our spending habits. I give a very modest portion of my income to charity. My fiancee thinks I can accomplish the same results with volunteering instead of giving money. I can accept that volunteering can make up for a portion of the money, but I still feels that financial gifts are important. Any advice on how we can strike a balance?

Michelle Singletary: Keep talking and come to a compromise you both can live with. But I will say this if she doesn't want to give just because of the money, that may mean something deeper. Does he fear if you both give there will be less for you? Does she not agree with giving to charity. Dig deeper and see what's going on.

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Michelle Singletary: Man, that hour went by fast. Thanks so much to both my guest, who have produced two wonderful books. I hope you get a chance to get one or both. And thanks so much to those the many of you who sent in questions and comments. I'm sorry we couldn't get to more. I think this is such an important issue and so glad that so many of you thought so too. Take care and see you back week after next.

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