Post Magazine: What Teens Really Think

What do high schoolers have to say about the state of the nation,God, dating, terrorism, grade anxiety, having gay friends and more?Yesterday, The Washington Post Magazine explored those questions -- basedon a survey conducted by The Post, the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation and Harvard University.

Today, Richard Morin, who oversaw the survey , will be online to field questions and comments.

Richard Morin is The Post's polling director.

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Richard Morin: Hi, and welcome to the chat. The teens survey was lots of fun for us, particularly because we got to talk to so many Washington area teenagers.

Let's get right to your good questions.

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Springfield, Va.: Did any of the teenagers have any comments about relationships and dating today? Do they feel race is an issue with dating? Did any of the teens say they had been in a relationship a long time? Did they feel they actually "loved" the person they were dating? Was sex a topic discussed? Are teens cautious about sexually transmitted diseases whether they are sexually active or not? Are teens saying they are waiting to have sex?

Richard Morin: You have many, many important questions, only some of which I can answer from the survey.

For most area teens, race is not an issue when it comes to dating. Nearly half (45 percent)said they already had dated someone of a different race--and remember, our sample included teens as young as 14 and others who may not yet be dating. We did not ask questions to allow us to say the percentage of whites dating blacks, Asians dating Latinos, etc.--but that's a great topic for our next teen survey.

As for "love", gosh, we didn't ask it. My dim memories of my teen years suggest I would have answered "yes" on several occasions, though in hindsight I was deeply in "like" rather than in love.

Yes, HIV-AIDS and other STDs are a tragic fact of life for these teens, and they know it. More than half--54 percent-said AIDs would be a bigger problem when they are grown than it is now. With all of the information teens are getting from parents, schools and religious leaders about unsafe sex, I would expect this generation to remain somewhat cautious when it comes to making decisions about sex.

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Washington, D.C: What are the percentages that capture those that feel it will be harder to buy a home? Do you have any national numbers that cover home buying difficulty?

Do you have any insight on why the teens are thinking about home buying? Conventional wisdom would point that teens wouldn't be concern about buying a home.

Richard Morin: Fully 75 percent of those qustioned said it would be harder for them to buy a home than it was for their parents. In comparison, 53 percent said itwould harder to find a good job and 57 percent said it would be harder for them to raise a family, Clearly these kids are paying attention to all the stories about soaring housing prices in the Washington area!

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Purcellville, Va.: Not so much a question as a comment. After high school and college Katy will come to conclude her sister, Tami, was correct in that the most useful subject taught in high school is Drivers' Ed. It would be much better for schools to teach SKILLS like drivers ed, home ec, money management, in stead of limited usefulness courses like anthropology, art, and choir.

Good luck, Katy. I hope you don't burn out. I saw too many U.VA students burn out once they got in. Slow it down and enjoy the ride.

Richard Morin: I think many parents would agree with you! But I'd cut cut these stressed-out kids a little slack. Taking an elective or two like choir, band or anthropology might provide a welcomed break from AP physics, math, etc.

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Lansing, Mich.: My 14-yr-old daughter worries about school, friendships, death, Bird Flu, getting into the "right" college, hurricanes, the environment, war . . . several of her friends have been diagnosed with "anxiety disorder," and some take anti-depressants. My question: (a) What do teens in your survey worry about the most? (b) Is there a greater level of anxiety in today's teens? (c) How can I help my daughter cope with her worries?

Richard Morin: The high levels of stress felt by these teens--particularly among girls--was one of the big surprises of this survey.

As for specific worries, teens seemed to worry most about pollution (70 percent said it would be a bigger problem for them than it was for their parents), HIV-AIDS (54 percent) and drug abuse (54 percent). Oh, there was one other: the cost of a college eduation; 75 percent said the price of college was getting higher, a fact that any parent paying college tuition can attest!

But I would interpret these results cautiously. The fact that most teens worry about pollution doesn't necessarily mean that this problem is the one that any teen individually worries about the most. My guess--and this is only a guess--is that the high levels of stress we found in the survey comes a combination of things, like you suggest. Plus, we are even more aware of the world's problems today than teens were in the past, thanks to the virtual instantaneous nature of the news media.

As for helping your daughter cope, I would suggest that the fact that there are huge problems does NOT mean there are no solutions. Pollution, for example. It is a bit ironic that pollution rates so high because there have been clear impovements in air and water quality in the United States over the past 20 years. Crime, too, is less of a problem now. So clearly we can work to solve problems. That is what I might suggest to her, other than really listening rather than lecturing her teen. (Advice I wish I had heeded more often with my own three sons, who are now in their 20s.)

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Kensington, Md.: Twenty years ago I suffered greatly in the public school system because I was gay. Somehow I managed to make the best of it, even though I had a hard time expressing what I was feeling. I am curious to know if today's teenagers are as callous to their schoolmates as many of mine were to me, or is there a more enlightened atmosphere that greets students who are different?

Richard Morin: Let me answer your question after I post this question...

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Washington, D.C.: From the polling data you've published, it seems like teenagers are more sympathetic to gay rights and gay marriage than are many adults. What do you think is the reason for this difference?

Richard Morin: Yes, today's teens are far more tolerant than their parents were, including toward gay rights and gay marriage. Nearly six in 10 have had a friend who is gay or lesbian, compared to just 20 percent of their parents. Six in 10 say it should be legal for gay and lesbian couples to get married.

I think there are many reasons for this. Broadly speaking, this generation is more tolerant than their parents were. Overwhelming majorities think interracial dating and say they would consider marrying someone of a different race. This may be "PC"--but that doesn't mean it isn't also real. Just a few generations ago, it would be unthinkable to express such views; now today's kids feel entirely comfortable expressing tolerant views of other races. (If you think it's not real, you're wrong: the steady increase in interracial marriages and mixed-race births suggests real change.)

Familiarity breeds tolerance, and more gays and lesbians are "out" and freely acknowledging their sexual preference. When these kids see that gays and lesbians are not much different than they are in other ways, acceptance grows and sexual orientation doesn't become such a big deal.

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Washington, DC: I found the following disturbing:

Percentage of local teens saying each is "very important."

75% ... Being successful in a career

65% ... Having a family of your own

65% ... Having lots of close friends

64% ... Making a difference in the world

62% ... Having enough free time to do things you want to do

Where are these kids' priorities? I suspect that valuing your job over family, friends and personal interests is more common in the DC area than in most other parts of the country.

Richard Morin: I share interest in the priorities of these teens, but perhaps aren't quite as disturbed by the results as you seem to be.

I find it heartening that having a family of their own rated so high, since these teens are at a time of their life when they are actively disengaging from their families and thinking about what they are going to do with their lives after they have left the nest.

I also found it interesting that when we asked them what they found to be their highest priority, just as many (20 percent) said their top goal was having a family as said having a successful career or making a difference in the world were theitr major goals. Nearly half of all parents (48 percent) listed having a family was the "single most important thing" to them personally. n some ways, that 48 percent was a bigger surprse to me, since these were all parents who, presumably, valued families.

As for a Washington effect, you could be right. We did not ask the priorities question on the national survey. But we were surprised how few differences there were between teens locally and nationally on the questions we did ask of both samples.

Richard Morin: I share your interest in the priorities of these teens, but perhaps aren't quite as disturbed by the results as you seem to be.

I find it heartening that having a family of their own rated so high, since these teens are at a time of their life when they are actively disengaging from their families and thinking about what they are going to do with their lives after they have left the nest.

I also found it interesting that when we asked them what they found to be their highest priority, just as many (20 percent) said their top goal was having a family as said having a successful career or making a difference in the world were theitr major goals. Nearly half of all parents (48 percent) listed having a family was the "single most important thing" to them personally. n some ways, that 48 percent was a bigger surprse to me, since these were all parents who, presumably, valued families.

As for a Washington effect, you could be right. We did not ask the priorities question on the national survey. But we were surprised how few differences there were between teens locally and nationally on the questions we did ask of both samples.

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Silver Spring, Md.: I thought the survey article was great, although somewhat depressing. It is a shame to think that there are several million youngsters out there who think that they will play in the NBA!! Of course, when I was a kid, we all thought that we would play in a band that was about as popular as the Beatles. The stress factor really hit close to home. I have two daughters in magnet schools, and we are all getting sick of the rat race. We feel like the alternative is for them to be bored all day in school, but right now they are over-stressed, sleep-deprived, and don't understand the point of it. I am planning on letting them put the college search on the back burner and take them on a hitchhiking trip around the country when they finish high school. There is a pretty cool world out there that a lot of kids will never see, and I don't mean by not travelling, I mean by not stopping to look around.

Richard Morin: Wise advice. I perhaps am a little more sanguine about the percentage of teens who think they'll be rich and famous. That's probably because I harbored a dream of pitching for the Los Angeles Dodgers into my early teens before reality intruded. But now is the time of their lives to dream big, and many of these kids clearly are. Better they have big dreams than none at all. It's when they sacrifice their futures for these possibly impossible dreams that problems arise, and that's where we can all do a better job as adults to make sure that doesn't happen to our children.

So keep working on your jump shot and curve ball--but work as hard on geometry, would be my advice.

p.s. I'd love to read an account of your hitch-hiking trip when you all get back.

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RE: limited usefulness: Hey, here's an idea...howzabout mom and pop teach junior how to drive, how to cook and clean up after oneself, how to manage a checkbook etc....

Let schools develop children into beings that have an appreciation of arts, anthropology, industrial arts, music etc. Oh and how about we concentrate more on the fundamentals so junior can add a couple big numbers together when he gets the diploma - assuming also he can read the thing too.

Richard Morin: I think may area teachers (and parents) would agree with you as well!

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Washington, DC: Were students with disabilities interviewed too?

Richard Morin: Yes, including at least one quoted in one of the stories. We did not ask teens whether or not they were disabled, so I expect that a number of disabled teens were interviewed that we don't know about. Since teens were randomly selected, I would guess that the percentage of disabled students in our sample was about equal to the percentage in the population of all high-school aged teens.

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Raleigh, NC: Thanks for an interesting article and for hosting this chat. However, I am getting a bit tired of hearing about how "stressed" American teenagers are. Every teenager throughout history has felt "stressed" at some point, because quite frankly, it is at that point in life when more becomes expected of a person, not to mention having to deal with all of the physical and emotional changes one goes through. The truth is that these "Millenials" are the most coddled and watched over generation in history, as some of the comments of the parents in your article clearly reveal. I'm sorry if I don't feel so terrible about the fact that they are required to deal with things like too much homework or not having enough time to have a boyfriend. Based on the article, the majority of these kids are lucky: Access to a strong education, time for leisure activities and the expectation that college is an entitlement. Life should be so hard, say, for teenagers in Iraq or Darfur.

Richard Morin: I think many area teens would agree with you. That's why seven in 10 (69 percent) said it was a "good time" to be growing up. In contrast, only 52 percent of their parents agreed. Hmmmm...maybe it's the 'Boomer parents who are the real coddled whiners!

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Crofton, Md.: I found it ironic that every time I clicked for a new page when reading online the Post's puzzled analysis as to why girls today suffer from anxiety, I was smacked in the face by the Post's ad showing a photo of a woman with a large bust crammed into a small hot-pink bra and the words, "VERY SEXY BRAS. Our best-selling bra in Very Sexy new colors."

Richard Morin: Yes, several people noticed that as well. Oh my, I don't control the ads or the placement of stories on the web.

I think you raise an important point. So much of what our children sees in the media sends mixed or disturbing messages, particularly to girls but also to boys.

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65 percent of area teenagers have taken an AP course?: Is there any way to verify that survey result? It sounds kind of high to me.

Richard Morin: I wondered about that, too. We did find that kids were answering yes to that question if they took an IB course, which is another kind of honors program, which I think was fair. And remember, if a teen took just one AP class sometime in their high school career, they would have answered "yes" to our question. Given the pressure on kids in our area to take AP and other honors classes, I am not surprised that the figure is high, though 65 percent may be an overstatement.

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Laurel, Md.: My son is a high school senior in Anne Arundel County. He plans to attend college to study classical music as a major. He is taking 3 AP classes (Calculus, physics, and english), just because he thinks they are interesting! We don't pressure him for certain grades because he is learning for the sake of taking in information, but he consistently has a "B" average. I am worried about some parents who view a "B' average as a death sentence! How can kids find out who they are and what they want to do with their lives if they are under so much pressure?!

Richard Morin: Congratulations to your son! Best of luck to him in college. I worry, too, about parents who impose their own Type A personalities on their children. My experience is that such parents exist, but most--like you--don't go overboard pressuring their kids to make A's or max out on AP classes.

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Washington, DC: There doesn't appear to be many drug references in these teens' responses. Did the teens you spoke with mention drug-use as a pressure in their lives?

Richard Morin: Drug use is a fact of high school life, as it was when I was in high school, er, more than two decades ago. These teens see it as a worsening problem. As for feeing "pressured", no I don't get the sense from this survey that this is huge problem for a majority of local teens.

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Washington DC: Any reaction to the numbers showing black kids are more likely than white kids to think they will be rich and famous? I don't know what the concrete consequences would be for such unrealistic attitudes.

Richard Morin: As I mentioned earlier, I take this finding with a grain of salt. I do worry that the relative absence of active and engaged fathers (and mothers) in the lives of a significant and disproportionate number of por black teens means they do not have someone they trust to keep these dreams in perspective. Perhaps these teens, black or white, who have so little are the ones who dream so big, because dreams are all they have.

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Washington, DC: Just wanted to say 'thanks very much'. My daughter is one of the teens on the cover and really enjoyed the experience. The people at the Post treated the teens very professionally and we appreciate it.

Richard Morin: Thank you for your daughter's help...and thank you all for joining me!

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