Outlook: BlackBerries Stay in Washington

Ana Marie Cox (Photo by Nina Subin)

For BlackBerry lovers in Washington, it was a close call. For a few weeks, they were forced to contemplate the possible demise of the ubiquitous palm-sized e-mailing device that no Washington wonk seems able to unhand, whether at a committee meeting or a cocktail party. So when the news came that the patent-infringement lawsuit that threatened to shut down the BlackBerry forever had been settled, there was rejoicing in the nation's capital. And no one rejoiced more than Ana Marie Cox , the former Wonkette, who delivered an ode to the BlackBerry in her Sunday Outlook article, Me and My Everything , ( Post, March 5, 2006 )

Ana Marie Cox was online Monday, March 6, at 11:30 a.m. ET to discuss the survival of BlackBerry use in Washington.

The transcript follows.

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Ana Marie Cox: First up, I want to thank those of you who are participating and I should make a confession: The reason for the pieces's quasi-past tense tone is that back in October, fear of losing my Berry did drive me to The Other Side. I have a Treo now. I miss my Berry for the reasons alluded to in the article but it's not like it's eased my addiction to constant delivery of email and text messages. It's like switching from crack to freebasing.

Speaking of crack, I promised a friend that I would tell you all that Philippe Reines, Hillary spokesguy, claims to have coined "Crackberry."

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New York, N.Y.: Have you ever put your blackberry down, stepped away from it, and thought: what would life be like if I never had this thing? Surely you would have been able to survive. How do people let themselves get so addicted to one object?

Ana Marie Cox: I wish I could explain the addictive quality better -- it's not like they're coated in nicotine. And some people are able to withstand the Berry's charms with ease. My husband was given a Berry for his job and yet sort of just carries it around. Or doesn't.

And, yes, I think about what my life would be like if I had never gotten it. Part of me thinks, Well, I couldn't have written my novel. But then again, I might have written it faster.

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Washington, D.C.: AMC - Haven't you become one of them? If not, how do you keep from becoming one of those self-important D.C. blowhards that you used to needle so brilliantly?

Ana Marie Cox: Geez, am I one of "them"? I suppose if you have to ask, you can't afford to know the answer. To the extent I have not completely transformed into a self-important DC blowhard (a blow-medium?), I think it's because I still find most of what happens in this town faintly absurd if not completely ridiculous. I may be a part of the circus now, but I know it's a circus.

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Washington, D.C.: Have you given up writing? This chat bills you as the former "Wonkette" author.

Ana Marie Cox: I have not given up writing. And, technically, I am the "Wonkette emerita," rather than a "former Wonkette." (It's like having been in the Marines... or being an alcoholic. Perhaps I am a recovering Wonkette.) I write a chat show wrap up every week for Wonkette.com and I have a more modest blog at http://www.anamariecox.com/.

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Savannah, Ga.: With St.Patty's coming up (it's big down here, don't you know?) I have a question: If you can't use a BlackBerry to stir a cocktail, then what is it good for?

Ana Marie Cox: The Berry makes a pour cocktail stirrer but I did once think that we should create a Blackberry drink. The Ritz in Georgetown has many dumber DC-themed beverages. Thoughts on the ingredients, anyone? I think maybe Kool-aid...

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Chantilly, Va.: Now that the BlackBerries appear to be saved, can the "must have" BlackBerry users describe why it is necessary to always receive everything instantly? Is there a place in the world for "think time" and reflection? Wouldn't some of us remember that the first thoughts in our minds and certainly the first things out of our mouths are not always our best work?

Ana Marie Cox: There is a rational, practical argument for Blackberrys that probably accounts for about 10 percent of their use: People whose livelihoods genuinely depend on getting and distributing information quickly (some government workers, journalists, PR people...). But, um, yeah mostly it's just because it makes you FEEL important, not because what you're doing actually is important.

That said, one of the reasons I think I was personally seduced by the Berry is because you AREN'T stuck with your lame first thought/first thing out of your mouth. You can edit and revise and be as subtle or clever as your blood alcohol level allows.

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Rockville, Md.: I am often at meetings with BlackBerry users. They are annoying people allowing their BlackBerry to interrupt their work and that of others. What is the proper etiquette for using BlackBerrys at meetings?

Ana Marie Cox: Well, no one's written a book yet, but I think generally once you've disrupted someone else, you're outside whatever generous definition of polite we'll allow in Washington.

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Washington Zoo: Please take back the blog! The new guys hardly give the 'stick any coverage at all! We need you!

Ana Marie Cox: Apparently the new Wonkettes have decided that Butterstick was my "thing," and so they've given up the kind of constant, adoring hagiography that The Stick deserves. When the Stick leads the revolution, they will be the first against the wall.

No, seriously: The Stick revolution will consist of rolling around in bowls. No worries.

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Blettiquette: What are your thoughts on Blackberry etiquette? My biggest pet peeve are people who return a berry message with a call. I mean, if I wanted to TALK to you, I would have called you.

What's your biggest Blackberry pet peeve?

Ana Marie Cox: TOTALLY HATE THAT. In fact, my outgoing message asks people to email if they can. I think this makes me a bad person but it does mean that I usually get back to them quicker.

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Washington, D.C.: You speak to my inner soul. I was recently at a party with people who work in D.C. but don't do politics (huh?), and I didn't understand why they weren't all typing away on their BlackBerries and were actually...talking. It was weird.

I'm so happy I can continue to socialize anti-socially.

Ana Marie Cox: Aren't we pathetic? This whole "talking" thing is probably pretty efficient and less hard on the batteries but I have trouble synching it.

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Washington, D.C. : So let's get down to specs: What are the pros and cons of the Berry vs. the Treo?

Ana Marie Cox: Well, the Berry is tougher physically. I probably dropped my Berry a dozen times during the year and half I had it and it worked fine. The Treo is notoriously delicate (one drop and you're probably looking at dead Treo) and it has a much more unstable operating system. That said, they are "cooler." You don't look like you're talking to a toaster pastry when you use them as a phone. They're shiny.

I think Washington is slowly moving away from the Berry, but this is based solely on unscientific observations among my friends.

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Why Drunk Berrying is better than Drunk Dialing?: No slurring.

Ana Marie Cox: Yes, but there is a record of it. And typos are a kind of digital slur...

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Ana Marie Cox: Wanted to add that my heart skipped a beat last night when I saw Catherine Keener Treoing from her seat behind Phillip Seymore Hoffman.

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Washington, D.C.: Ana Marie Cox in Outlook. The mind boggles. Somebody's doing some serious selling out. Is it you or them?

Ana Marie Cox: People don't seem to understand that the only reason I ever came to Wonkette was that I had been *trying* to sell out for years. No one seemed interested in buying. I am now trying to sell out often, for as much possible.

There is no dignity in being unemployed.

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Washington, D.C.: Did the Outlook editors know you'd already switched from Blackberry to Treo before they published your piece? That seems fundamentally dishonest, somehow.

Ana Marie Cox: I believe they did know, but I don't blame them. I probably should have added something in the bio portion. In any case, I think the phenom of Berry culture (instant access, drunktexting) extends to the Treo. In fact, the random exclamation about "the shark having nothing on me" was Treo born and bred.

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Beautiful Silver Spring, Md.: In your article, why did you use "Washington" as a shorthand for "political types, elite media personnel, and those who orbit them or aspire to orbit them"? There are a lot of us living in the greater D.C. metropolitan area who are not involved in the neurotic technological shenanigans you describe.

Ana Marie Cox: This is an excellent point and I usually try to be more clear about this distinction... However, I think it's a fairly common practice to talk about "Washington" as shorthand for the industry/kind of people it represents in popular culture. We talk about "Hollywood" the same way, just with juicier gossip.

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Washington, D.C.: So where's the humble Palm Pilot in all this? Just hopelessly, helplessly uncool? No PDA for the old PDA?

Ana Marie Cox: Well, the Palm OS lives on in the body of the Treo. But I do think PDAs are all moving towards having some kind of communications ability. You can keep your address book and calendar on your phone now, why would you want something that duplicates that but doesn't allow you to use that phone book to make calls?

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Montgomery Village, Md.: Blackberryopathy is a mental disease and should be treated as such. Do you know any folks who have seen a psychiatrist about their Blackberry mental problem?

Ana Marie Cox: I think Berryopathy is probably more of a symptom than a disease, though it can also exacerbate an existing condition.

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Atlanta, Ga.: There are a lot of successful blogs now that lampoon the politics of the nation. With such serious situations needing attention, such as the war, is it worrisome that many of us seem content to sit back and gawk? Is it a sense of giving up on American politics that allows us simply to laugh at it?

Ana Marie Cox: I don't think laughing at American politics is at all synonymous with giving up on it -- laughing is itself a form of engagement. Gawking less so, but at least you're paying attention. Apathy and inattention are much bigger threats to the health of democracy than satire.

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Savannah, Ga. again: Cocktail idea: Absolut currant (they make that, don't they...if not, raspberry, I guess), tonic, ice. This eliminates the need to stir, and the BlackBerry could serve as a coaster.

Ana Marie Cox: I am thrilled with this idea and will attempt to concoct it tonight. Please check my blog for results of the taste test.

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Cabin John, Md.: A 19th century composer was asked, "Would you prostitute your art?" He replied, "Repeatedly." If they're buying, you go right ahead and sell. Do you have room for oleaginous Butterstick gooiness on your new blog?

Ana Marie Cox: I should pick the Stick more on the personal site, it's true. I've been making do with the National Zoo's quasi blog (National Zoo) which can be amusingly semi-pornographic in its details.

The other day a friend and I were discussing the dangers of being able to see the panda cam on your Treo...

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New York, N.Y.: How long before you become the next Maureen Dowd? You know, the phony, I hate politicians and love to mock them, but secretly wish you were important. Or are you already there?

Ana Marie Cox: Why I will never be the "next Maureen Dowd": I don't secretly wish I was important, I openly wish I was important. That said, the chances of becoming so are slim. I will settle for "mildly amusing."

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Wilds of Fairfax, Va.: The ergonomics of BBs seem to favor those whose prehensile thumbs are more agile than others.

So perhaps the ultimate Washington-Blackberry type will be all-thumbs? Oh, wait.....

Ana Marie Cox: Thank you for making that joke so that I didn't have to.

My doctor did once tell me she's starting to see RSI in thumb joints among her clients, and she advised me to be careful. HA! Ha ha!

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Ana Marie Cox: Okay gonna wrap things up. Thanks again for stopping by. Don't text and drive.

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