Washington Post columnist Amy Joyce writes Life at Work on Sundays in the Business section and appears online every Tuesday to offer advice about managing interpersonal issues on the job.

An archive of Amy's Life at Work columns is available online.

Find more career-related news and advice in our Jobs section.

The transcript follows below.

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Amy Joyce: Good morning, folks! It's Tuesday, which means it's time to talk about your life at work. As always, join in with your own advice and stories to share and help your fellow workers and workers-to-be.

Question for you: It's come up in this forum quite a bit that you'd like to wear earplugs or headphones to drown out your loud-talking neighbor, but your boss won't allow it. Really? E-mail me at lifeatwork@washpost.com to discuss. I want to hear what reasons the higher-ups give, and where this is happening. (I know some folks around here wouldn't survive without earplugs.)

Okay, then, let's get started.

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Houston, Tex.: The person I sit next to at work is very negative and complains a lot about our co-workers and the company. She is great at her job, but her attitude really brings me down. Any advice?

Amy Joyce: Some people are just that way. If she worked anywhere else, under any other circumstances, she'd probably be just as negative. Remember this as you tackle your day. If she turns to you to complain about something, shrug your shoulders and go back to your work, or mention how that doesn't really bother you because [fill in the blank]. Then surround yourself elsewhere with people with a better attitude.

Maybe your more positive attitude will change her outlook a bit.

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washingtonpost.com: Sunday's Column: The Fine Line of Lying (Post, March 26)

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Reston, Va.: I recently returned from maternity leave and I'm looking for resources for telecommuting proposals. I know it's important to show my employer why the arrangement will benefit THEM, but I'm not sure how to do so. Any ideas? Thanks!

Amy Joyce: Hi Reston. A good question ... and common one.

Check out www.telcoa.org (The Telework Coalition) and www.workingfromanywhere.org. These sites have all sorts of info. about telecommuting and may give you some ideas.

Here's a quick rundown, from my viewpoint, of how it might help them: You'll spend less time commuting, more time working. You'll be more focused, with fewer people interrupting your day to chat. You could offer to do it on a trial basis. And remind them that because you want to do this so much, you'll be completely invested in making it work well for both you and the company. Make sure to promise you'll be 100 percent available.

Anyone else have hints on how they made it work?

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Washington, D.C.: My assistant is very hard working. There are some problems with the quality of his work but nothing major. However, lately I have found his voice and the way he talks to be like nails on a chalkboard. I know this is not his fault or anything but a shallow complaint but it really affects my mood. Do you know of anyway to counteract this stupid but annoying quality on my part or am I just a bad person?

Amy Joyce: You bad, bad ... human. You're human. So is he.

I have nothing much to say that you probably haven't thought of already: Focus on his work. His voice doesn't matter if he's hard working and gets the job done. Think about how annoying your voice is. Wear earplugs.

I'm sorry, it's just something you really have to get over. You're not being fair to him.

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Washington, D.C.: I have a question, dealing with the BlackBerrys that everyone gets now. at my office there are a few hourly staff members that have been issued BlackBerrys and told that we are responsible for checking them at all times and responding to e-mails when necessary, but we've been told that we can't charge overtime for this, that it is just a part of our jobs. How legal is this and how are other companies handling BlackBerrys and hourly staff? you can guess who happy we are with this arrangement.

Amy Joyce: How legal is this? Very, when you're not hourly staff. Hourly staffers who have to do work outside of work should be earning overtime, I think. (Employment lawyers, feel free to chime in).

The workplace has become very 24/7, hasn't it? It's just assumed that you'll check voicemail and email over the weekend. And vacations? Forget it. Very few people take a full vacation without at least sometimes checking back in with work. In one way, technology was created to make our lives easier. But it's really tangled up that line that used to separate life and work.

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Washington, D.C.: Good morning, Amy!

I read your article in this Sunday's Post regarding the lies that people tell at work. I was shocked that there are actually people out there who lie to get others in trouble. What kind of employees would do something like this, and what types of lies are these individuals likely to tell to get others in trouble?

washingtonpost.com: The Fine Line of Lying (Post, March 26)

Amy Joyce: You must not read this chat very often!

Yes, the back stabbers are out there. I've heard many a story about one worker blaming someone else for a mistake, or taking credit for someone else's work, for instance. The workplace is not all that different, at times, from high school.

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Argh: A word of encouragement, I guess, please? Yesterday I gave two weeks notice due to numerous family and personal issues. My boss, with whom I've always gotten along well, was very distressed and not really very nice about it. He played a lot of guilt cards even though I am not leaving him hanging on any major projects. He said "we have invested a lot in you as an employee and we won't let you go that easily." I am so frustrated by this. Don't I have the right to quit a job I no longer want to do? My contract says I do. How do I get over the guilt and bad feelings about this? I know it is right for me.

Amy Joyce: How about realizing that what he said means simply they like you, want you, need you. How would you have felt if he said "Excellent. You can pack up your desk now."

Then remind yourself you have to do what's right for you and for your family and move on. You can't let the guilt get in the way. You'll also want to be as good to this boss as possible so he can vouch for you if you ever need him as a reference.

You might want to have another conversation with him explaining that you're sorry, but you need to go. Listen to him, though. Maybe he has a solution that could make your life easier.

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Washington, D.C.: In my office we are debating a policy regarding wearing iPods or MP3 players and earphones in the office. Particularly among the younger staff that populate the cubicles, it has become increasingly common. Any comments on if it's appropriate?

Amy Joyce: Interesting dilemma. Can you e-mail me at lifeatwork@washpost.com? Thanks.

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"The workplace is not all that different, at times, from high school.": We have a saying at our office: "You never really get to leave seventh grade."

Amy Joyce: That's a bummer to hear, but I understand. Is there anyone in the office (you?) trying to change things to make it better?

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Orlando, Fla.: I've read contradicting advice about cover letters. Some Web sites recommend them, while some say they are outdated. Which do you recommend and why?

Amy Joyce: I think they're still necessary and important. A short and clear cover letter lets an employer know why you want a job at that particular organization, and lets them know that you're doing more than just resume-blasting a bunch of different companies.

HR managers? Recruiters? Feel free to let us know what you think about cover letters ...

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Lanham, Md.: Hi, Amy.

I have been at my job for six and a half years. I used to be excited about my work, but I no longer have the enthusiasm that I once had. Part of this is because of my pay and another part of this is because the type of work I am doing. The projects assigned are not challenging and I feel that I have outgrown this position. What should I do in this particular situation? How can I change my attitude about work?

Amy Joyce: Look for another job elsewhere, or a better opportunity in your own organization. Sounds like you've outgrown your job and you want a new challenge. It happens (thank goodness). It's a good thing to want to move on and grow.

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Downtown D.C.: I have a friend at work that tells stories/jokes that are not funny. They're not offensive or anything, they're just not funny. They tend to be quite long, and he tells them with lots of animation, like we're all supposed to be really engaged, and then he pauses for dramatic effect ... and hits us with the punch line, which, again, is just not funny. Then he laughs heartily.

Other than this, he's a nice guy. What should we do? Should we break it to him that his jokes are just not entertaining? Should we interrupt him and start talking about foreign policy or an upcoming office meeting? We have been sort of laughing to be polite, but I fear that that is only encouraging him. I don't want to be rude either, though. This happens often enough that a battle plan must be figured out soon.

Amy Joyce: How about you appreciate him for his attempts, and for being an interesting character in what would be a boring office without him?

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Washington, D.C.: I have an interview coming up for a new job (my current job doesn't know I'm looking). Do you have any suggestions for what to tell my current boss about why I'll be out of the office? We don't have "personal days" here and I don't really have any extra vacation days to use. I'm at a loss! Thanks!

Amy Joyce: You should take a vacation day. It's only fair to your boss. (Check out my lying column ...)

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Centreville, Va.: I've got an all-points-query in regards to dress code: can ANYONE, tell me if they know of a workplace ANYWHERE that still requires skirts for women? My son's private (secular) school does -- not only for the teachers, but for volunteers! I'd just like to know how unique this is ...

Amy Joyce: I think "requiring" skirts is incredibly outdated and sexist. There, I said it. What's the point? Someone want to see a little leg or something?

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washingtonpost.com: The Fine Line of Lying, (Post, March 26)

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Arlington, Va.: Hi Amy,

Need some "cube" survival tips. Due to an internal re-org and floor move, I now find myself in a cube after two years in a private office. And I am having a hard time getting used to the noise -- can hear everything my cube mates do -- and activity. My work requires the ability to concentrate and create products that are not conducive to interruptions. Help.

Amy Joyce: Earplugs. Earphones that play white noise. Headphones. Time ...

It takes time, but after a while you might not notice the noise. If you need to concentrate and can't, how about finding an empty conference room?

Sorry, such is life in the modern day workplace.

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Pittsburgh, Pa.: You're a grown woman (older than 40), have kids and your resume still reveals that you were a sorority sister. In seeking professional jobs, is this a strategic item to keep on a resume at this point in life, or does it 'hurt' in some way. Just curious.

Amy Joyce: Frankly, unless you know there's some sort of sorority connection with the person you're sending the resume to, it might just hurt. That's a long time ago, and HR folks will probably want more recent and pertinent info about you. Keep it on if you're still active in some way, though. That can show leadership qualities. But if you haven't done anything since organizing a social since the late 70s, forget it.

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N.Y.: About requiring skirts: I worked for a moderately priced department store chain two years ago, and if women wore pants, they had to wear a blazer -- pants and a sweater or blouse = unacceptable, yet it was fine to wear a skirt and sweater.

They didn't pay well enough for us to afford the clothes they sold, either!

Amy Joyce: Strange. I'm definitely not against looking professional. But to force a woman to wear a skirt is just silly. How about a dress code that calls for "professional" wear. (What year is this?)

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Thousand Oaks, Calif.: I know I should give two-weeks' notice to my current boss. But because of the work visa issue(the new visa for my new job makes the current visa for the current job invalid), I have to leave this job immediately. What I should say to my current boss?

Amy Joyce: I think it's still best if you give about two weeks. Can you afford that?

There's no written rule about it, but it's a smart thing to do. You might need him in the future to give you a good reference.

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Olney, Md.: Wow, when I'm out of the office, I'm OFF. If anyone calls me during that time, they know they better be asking a simple question that only I can answer, like where did I save that file that I created. But I don't think anyone has ever done that in the 8 years I've worked here. Then again, all non-exempt employees usually have an office, not a cube, although junior staff may share an office, and I even have my OWN THERMOSTAT in my office. (And a mini-fridge and coffee machine.)

Those are just a few of the reasons why I haven't jumped ship for more money, which I probably could.

Amy Joyce: You're a lucky one, Olney. (And obviously know the tipping points for many workers on this chat!)

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Changing careers: Help! I'm considering shifting into an entirely new field, one I've been interested in for a long time, but even a temporary stint in a related office hasn't made up my mind for sure. I think the problem is that I recognize how great my current boss and colleagues are so even though the work isn't satisfying in the long-run, I have a hard time conceiving of something better. How can I find out for sure that I'll be happy in the new field? It's not like your first career, when you work your way up.

Amy Joyce: Here's the shocker: You can never be sure. You can just make educated guesses your whole life. If you think you'll be happier in a new career, if your current work bores you, then perhaps it's time you jump in and see what it's like. With 100 percent. If you decide you don't like it, use that knowledge and figure out what to move on to next. Or move BACK to. You have the experience from this job, so you can always do something related to it if you're not happy with your new gig. But you're never going to know for sure if you would have rather done Entirely New Field unless you really try it out.

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Reston, Va.: Just as a comment on the article on lying in the office -- I had a co-worker ask me to lie (by omitting crucial information) to an outside company the other day. I had to explain several times that it put our company's reputation at risk, and more importantly to me, MY personal reputation! This isn't the first time that I've been asked to lie in my job -- luckily never by management, but I'm shocked that people take their personal reputations that loosely! Am I that out of touch?

Amy Joyce: No, you're smart. Keep at it.

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Washington, D.C.: Amy,

I am getting married in a few months and I'd like to invite a few co-workers outside of my department that I have become good friends with. I'm not inviting anyone from my department, other than my boss, because I don't work with them on a daily basis or know them them the way I do these other co-workers -- not to mention it's a rather large department. I just don't want to cause bad feelings about not inviting people. Even though they all know I'm getting married I don't think they expect to be invited. What's the best way to handle this situation?

Amy Joyce: Invite the people you are close to. A wedding's an important thing in YOUR life. Not theirs. Your own co-workers will probably be more than happy not to be invited (no need to buy a gift, make small talk with strangers, etc. etc.). Let yourself be surrounded by people you really care about and who really care about you.

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Upper Marlboro, Md.: I am not a young ingenue who doesn't know what she wants to do. I am a middle-aged procrastinator. This is a horrible habit that I have developed in the past few years, probably as part of a depressive state. Improving my health is improving my depression, but I still cannot get off the dime and get my resume done to get out of a deteriorating situation. I am a consultant with a company that is not committed to my particular area of expertise, and my current contract ends later this year. I know this; I need to get moving. I even know that, because of newly developed networking skills, all I have to do is contact a couple of acquaintances, and I am "in like Flint." Wait -- this sounds like a Hax question -- I'm sending it anyway ...

Amy Joyce: It happens. All too often. You're already better off than most people because you KNOW you have to move on and you know you have to do something about it. Lots of people sit and moan and groan about their horrible life and job, and blame their situation on everything but their own lack of gumption. (Anyone use that word anymore?)

How about you take baby steps. Don't look at it as you need to make a huge life change tomorrow. Look at it as you need to contact ONE person by Thursday. One telephone call, one e-mail. Just a baby step that can lead to more baby steps, that will lead to a big step.

Some people find it helpful to make a list of a few things. Give yourself, say, three things to accomplish by Monday that can help you get toward that new goal. Bask in the fact you did it (yay, you), then move on to the second thing on your list. Keep going, know that there might be some setbacks, but give yourself a hearty pat on the back for doing something--anything--to get to a better space in your life.

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Washington, D.C.: Why do we accept that vacation time isn't ours? Why just admit defeat? I have been asked to check e-mail during vacation and I always say that I won't be able to do so. I've always done this at any job I'm in and don't see it affecting how far I've risen in a company yet. If anything people respect it in a weird way. I work hard to get everything in order before I leave and I'm hyper responsive to issues that arose when I was out when I return. But those vacation days are mine. I can see if you're the CEO -- but really, most people's jobs don't hinge on one decision that's made the week they're in Aruba. I think the American workplace has become too self-important. And meanwhile, we're not really working any more effectively. Just working out ways to avoid our BlackBerrys and our boss. It's ridiculous.

Amy Joyce: I agree with a lot of that. Thanks.

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Work Visa Response: Hi Amy,

Just quick note regarding your response to the person with the soon to be invalid work visa. My husband had a work visa, and if it becomes invalid ... he can't work. For salary or unsalaried. My understanding is that it's against the law.

Amy Joyce: Right, but this person has the a new visa and new job waiting for her.

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Alexandria, Va.: My cube problem is not that it's too loud in the halls, but that it's not loud enough. It's like a library in here sometimes and I sometimes don't feel comfortable making phone calls for work or when my fiance calls because of how quiet it is and feeling like I'm talking to loud. So I find myself whispering into the phone to where the person on the other end of the phone keeps asking me to speak up.

Amy Joyce: Yep, another problem with the modern day workplace. You can either get over it, and any sense of privacy, or make a quick call outside.

The thing is, most people are too busy in their own world and on their own phone calls to notice your call to your fiance.

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Columbia, Md.: Hi Amy,

I've recently been offered a position which I'm very excited about. The only thing that is slowing my acceptance is the salary. I'd like to ask for slightly more (I think the job duties deserve more), but I don't have any evidence to back up my requests. The job is fairly specialized so there's no data on salary.com and jobs that match closest are $10,000 off in either direction from what I think it's worth. What else can I say besides "I'm worth it because I say so" or "The job should pay more because I say so?"

Amy Joyce: Sometimes, that's reason enough. Just give the reasons you hope to get $10,000 more. Explain your position, why you think the job is worth more than what they offered, and wait for their reply. What do you think people did before salary.com? It's called negotiating. Don't be afraid.

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For the employee getting married: Send your invitations by mail to the personal addresses of those coworkers you'd like to invite to your wedding. That way you'll keep it a private event and it won't be news that gets spread all over the office.

Amy Joyce: Yes, definitely don't make a big hoo-hah out of it in the office. It's a personal thing. Treat it that way.

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Maryland: I work in HR. Never list your sorority and fraternity affiliations. Yes, it is good for connections but you never know whom in your future company was hazed ...

Amy Joyce: Well, there is that ...

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Skirts: I worked for a small law firm a few years ago that required women to wear skirts. Even on snowy/icy days. A secretary wore pants on a really bad winter snow day and she got a talking to. These people wore suits when they showed up to get extra work done a weekend.

Amy Joyce: Yeah, I just don't get it. It's important to look professional, particularly if you have to interact with the public. But to force women to wear skirts? Blech.

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Vienna, Va.: I returned to work two days a week after two years home with my now-toddler. I expected to return to at least some of my duties as a veterinary assistant, but instead was told I'd been gone too long and would have to start from the bottom. Should I stay?

Amy Joyce: You should ask how soon you might be able to move back to the same position you were before you left. If it's going to be a quick rise, good. Stay. As a vet tech, a lot of things might have changed while you were gone and you might NEED to start over again to learn about new technologies, practices, etc. Find out if that's the case, then figure out for yourself if you should stay or go.

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Washington, D.C.: My friend is in some dire straits. He works for the government and has a co-worker that becomes violent over minor issues (throwing papers, kicking the door, etc.). The boss is unaware of the issue, but the co-workers are starting to get worried. What actions should he take? Thanks.

Amy Joyce: Tell the boss immediately. This is something that needs to be taken care of right away. HR will need to get involved and get this co-worker some help. Workplace violence is not something to ignore.

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Amy Joyce: Okay, gang. It's that time. Don't forget to check out Life at Work the column in the Sunday Business section. Next week's discussion will be Thursday instead of Tuesday, but at the same time. I hope you can join me.

Don't forget to email me at lifeatwork@washpost.com about your headphones/earplugs issue. Your boss really won't let you wear them?

Okay, have a great week and we'll chat again Thursday.

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