On TV

Post TV Columnist Lisa de Moraes takes a look at what's on the tube in a fast-paced give and take about reality, non-reality, cable and you name it. She will be online Friday, August 4, at 1 p.m. ET to discuss the latest TV news.

The transcript follows.

De Moraes has written "The TV Column" for The Post since 1998. She served as the TV editor for the entertainment industry trade publication the "Hollywood Reporter" for almost a decade.

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Alexandria, Va.: Let me just tell you that you make me laugh out loud when I read your stuff, thank you very much.

I hate to admit it, but I'm loving Last Comic Standing AND Hell's Kitchen. Two of the most opposite reality TV shows out there. As much as people want to trash reality shows and say they're finished -- do you actually believe that and do you think summer is the perfect reality TV season and that's why the shows on now are seeing some type of success?

Lisa de Moraes: Hi. In fact, none of this season's reality series has broken away from the clutter and become a summer sensation as did Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Survivor, American Idol. Probably because there are too many on this summer and most of them are way too derivative. But reality TV is hardly finished. Let's not forget that the Nos. 1 and 2 shows last season were "American Idol" Tuesday and Wednesday...

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Washington, D.C.: Did you watch any of Shark Week? Were you spooked? Have you ever been swimming with sharks in one of those cages?

Lisa de Moraes: No pookie, even I have limits as to what I will do to get just that perfect touch of verisimilitude for the TV Column. Swimming with Sharks falls into my Too Dumb to Live category. And no, I did not watch Shark Week. I don't particularly like watching "nature" shows which are really all about scaring the pants off viewers for ratings and not about teaching viewers anything new about the animal, or the region. That includes Nat Geo specials as well, not just Discovery's Shark Week. I'm more of a Puppy Bowl gal.

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Press Tours: So, after a press tour, do you need to :

1 Have a drink

2 Have many drinks

3 Have an intelligent conversation

or

4 Take a shower?

Lisa de Moraes: I try to have as few intelligent conversations as possible, but yes, after the press tour I do all of the above, under doctor's orders. Except "take a shower" should be amended to read "bathe in lye."

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San Diego, Calif.: Am I the only one watching SciFi's Who Wants to be a SuperHero??

Last night, they got a couple of dogs to maul the contestants. One of them (Monkey Woman!!!!) was bitten and dragged around for ten minutes before she completed the task. These contestants are taking themselves so seriously that it's impossible not to laugh at them.

I love this show. Is it mean of me to laugh at the morons?

Lisa de Moraes: The contestants also took themselves VERY seriously at Summer TV Press Tour 2006, in an "Shrink needed -- STAT" way. And didn't "Fear Factor" already do the dog-maul challenge ages ago? Shouldn't these people be expected to do something a little more, I don't know, superhero-ish? Like fly, maybe?

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Westminster, Calif.: Do you agree that most Reality shows on television today are click-offable? And those that have found permanent homes into our living rooms, are hurting the legitimate actors, directors and producers in the entertainment business?

Lisa de Moraes: No, no and no. Or is that just no and no...too many questions. Anyway, I do not think reality series are hurting "legitimate actors" -- can you call the cast of "Las Vegas" "legitimate"? -- directors and producers. There are soooo many more networks getting into original programming. It's just that the business model is changing and some people are change phobic. Remember, children, change is good....

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Herndon, Va.: Hey Lisa: All I've had to look forward to this summer was Project Runway and Shark Week. Now that Shark Week is ending, and the evil/arrogant guy was kicked off of PR, can you give me something else to look forward to? Or do I actually have to leave my house in the evenings and not watch TV til the Fall?

Lisa de Moraes: I too was flattened when Arrogant Man was booted off Project Runway, but the fine people at Project Runway had not choice if they wanted to preserve the integrity of their make-a-dress-of-bananas series.

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The View Drama: What happened between Barbara and Elizabeth - did Barbara really put the smack down on Elizabeth and make her cry on camera!? What's the fall out for Elizabeth?

Lisa de Moraes: Oooh goodie! I missed this TV drama -- I've been TV less for a week and, technically, am still on vacation though I decided I badly needed a chat fix. What happened? And don't omit any details...

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Fairfax, Va.: So Keith is history for sneaking in fashion how-to books and going online. But have you been following the bigger scandal tied to him and Project Runway? Apparently some of the sketches he handed in as part of his application process turned out to doctored photographs of other designers runway shows (the wonders of photoshop). All of the details are on the televisionwithoutpity.forums, where the story broke. So much for Bravo's vetting process.

Lisa de Moraes: Or, maybe they cast him deliberately just so they could boot him a few episodes in, and ratchet up the buzz factor. Let's not forget this network is owned by NBC.. Just sayin'.....

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Washington, D.C.: Were you one of the critics who heckled/walked out on Roger Ailes?

Lisa de Moraes: No. I was there for his entire session and Ailes was not heckled and I did not see anyone walk out on him....I heard that there was one critic who said he was declining to attend, but that's it...But you know critics -- vivid imaginations...

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Rockville, Md.: Okay, some cable channels go overboard with a program. TLC became the Trading Spaces channel, TNT is the Law and Order rerun channel, etc.

So how did the History Channel become the UFO conspiracy channel?

Lisa de Moraes: That's easy: they must be trying to 'young up' their audience with UFO programming, replacing all the World War II programming...

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Herndon, Va.: I have to admit, I, an aging WASP heterosexual male, enjoyed Kathy Griffin's "Life on the D List." Will Bravo renew this, now that Ms. G has divorced and probably reached "C" status at least?

Lisa de Moraes: She got at least one Emmy nom. I'd bet it's a go for another season...

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In Defense of Shark Week:: Hey!! I've learned a lot from shark week: that Hong Kong has 7 million people; sharks have two penises; overdevelopment of tropical islands can lead to erosion which can murk the surrounding island waters thereby creating better conditions for an attack by a bull shark; the shark liver accounts for approximately 40% of it's body weight; that mercury bioaccumulates in shark tissue so you shouldn't eat it; mercury can cause infertility in men; and there's a place on earth called the "Ring of Death." It's good stuff! Keep your snark off the shark, pookie!

Lisa de Moraes: ah, but you see, I learned all that stuff in elementary school....

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Baltimore, Md.: Are you going to watch the short original podcast episodes of The Office (& maybe other shows)-- do these fall within your job description?

Thanks.

Lisa de Moraes: No idea, in re job description but I can't wait to see them all...

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Bethesda, Md.: What's the over/under bet on how long the Brad Garrett sitcom 'Til Death lasts on FOX this fall? With all the promos hyping this unfunny show I bet it's cancelled by the end of October if not sooner. Or am I not giving the American television viewing audience enough credit for being dumb enough to support such garbage?

Lisa de Moraes: This show is worth watching just to see Brad Garrett who is such a pro; he can steal a scene just raising one eyebrow. His work is particular impressive given the cast he's burdened with -- especially whatshisname who plays the neighbor guy. Gak!

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Providence, R.I.: The question about reality shows hurting "legitimate actors" got me thinking . . . . don't you think most of the contestants on reality shows want to be actors anyway, and see being on a reality show as a way to get there? I love reality shows, and every contestant on Fear Factor strikes me as someone who wants to be noticed by Hollywood.

Lisa de Moraes: Of course, the concentration of wannabe actors on these shows is very very high...

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Shark week: I also learned that it is better to go swimming with a buddy - that cuts your chances of getting attached in half.

Lisa de Moraes: okay, learned that in kindergarten at Ocean City....

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Project Runway: Yes, did you notice how much they pushed Keith's "tricks up my sleeve" eyyvil comments snippets? As for the doctored sketches - what really is new any more so how do you tell? I think once they're on the show the process vets them fairly well for who is really talented. (I.E. why no pattern books. Or wire hangers.)

Though Angela? Rosette Queen has got to go.

Lisa de Moraes: Hey -- I love rosettes. They remind me of my grandmother..

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Washington, D.C.: Lisa: So what was the official summer drink of the 2006 summer critic's press tour? Mojitos? Black eye venti drip coffee, no cream? Watermelon daiquiris? Does the local bartender know all of your names by the end of the tour?

Lisa de Moraes: Actually I learned that I can get by on 3-4 hours sleep a night for a month so long as I increase my caffeine intake to four short- skim -180-degree- extra- hot- cappuccinos a day...and I'm very sad to report that the critics seemed to be heavy beer drinkers. There's no accounting for taste...

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Washington, D.C.: Hi Lisa

Welcome back! Friday has been a little dull without your touch of humor. There are some interesting shows previewing during station breaks lately, such as Heroes. What do you think will be the best shows to watch in the upcoming new season? Is Heroes one to watch?

Lisa de Moraes: Ugly Betty! The pilot is wonderful but those chickens at ABC have given it a deadly timeslot because, I'm told, some of their testing results were kinda funky... It is the ONLY show that had ANY buzz at Summer TV Press Tour 2006 and there was tons of buzz about that show...press tour is good for that...

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Chicago, Ill.: No cool new reality shows, I don't watch to the reruns of the serialized drama, the only thing I watch at all anymore are reruns of Earl and The Office. Is there anything decent to watch this summer?

Lisa de Moraes: Turner Classic Movies.. my fallback network.

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Washington, D.C.: In case no one's told you this yet, the high quality and sheer volume of text you produced during the new-season-conference-that-wouldn't-end was really impressive. Nice job!

--Not from your mom

Lisa de Moraes: Thanks, not-from-mom...This tour was pots of fun, for all the wrong reasons. And who knew that PBS's party was going to be the liveliest of the tour -- that never happens. Critics are all clamoring -- especially the female ones -- to bring back Vittorio for an encore Press Tour appearance...

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Castle Shannon, Pa.: Lisa, what's the inside word on the new "sixth network?" I forget what it's even called. It's the new old UPN. I would think they'd do fairly decent numbers during the summer time, but I'm not sure what kind of numbers they are looking for throughout the rest of the year.

We love you here in Pittsburgh, Pookie!

Lisa de Moraes: Hi Pittsburgh. It's called The CW network -- as in, marriage from hell of CBS and Warner Bros...CW will do better than UPN or WB if only because right off the bat they have better distribution (stations) than either UPN or WB was ever able to achieve...

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Chicago, Ill.: This has got to be one of the worst TV summers in the last five years.

Lisa de Moraes: ...and yet, probably more original programming than any other summer in the last five years...go figure.

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Best Summer Ever!: I'm so enjoying this summer season - a lot of really great programming on BBC America, Eureka on SciFi, Project Runway. Double reruns of House on Fox & USA. And Hugh's delightful turn with LiptonBot3000 on Inside the Actor's Studio.

I may not have to go outside this summer at all!

Lisa de Moraes: Yeah, and if I wasn't still on vacation and had turned my brain back on, I might have come up with this searing response to you summer-season haters...

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Olympia, Wash.: You can view the Barbara Walters/Elisabeth smackdown on YouTube.com.

Lisa de Moraes: I'll do that little thing as soon as this chat is over. thanks!

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Cooper-ed out: Your Royal Pookiness:

Can you make Anderson Cooper go away, please? Way too self-absorbed in his "I'm a journalist, look at me show how much I care" mode. He admitted last night CNN has a still photographer following him around last night as he reports from Lebanon, just so we can Anderson look pensive, Anderson look world-weary, etc. He needs to go bye-bye back to the Park Avenue penthouse, please. Thank you.

Lisa de Moraes: ah, but Anderson Cooper serves a purpose. Without Anderson Cooper we would not fully appreciate the work of, say, reporter Nic Robertson, or show anchor Brian Williams, for example. It helps to have that that point of comparison...that and he's so darned cute...

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Psych!: What do you think of this new show on USA? I find it to be very amusing. The lead actor is laugh-out-loud funny, and the show has an interesting twist from the typical crime-drama formula.

Lisa de Moraes: Okay, you must be new-ish to the chat and therefore you don't know the rules. If you are going to send in such a glutinous message you must first post a disclaimer swearing that you are not a publicist for the show or the network ....we'll let it go this time but next time -- disclaimer a must.

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Washington, D.C.: What do you think of Stephen King's "Nightmares and Dreamscapes"? I think it can be hit or miss, but the episode starring Ron Livingston and Henry Thomas was amazingly well acted. It was better than most movies I've seen in the past year.

Lisa de Moraes: I just met Ron Livingston at Summer TV Press Tour 2006. I will now watch anything that has Ron Livingston in it. Including commercials...

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Philadelphia, Pa.: What is "Ugly Betty", and might it do better if they gave a more appealing title, like "Comfortable with Her Appearance Betty"?

Lisa de Moraes: It's an adaptation of a telenovela of same name, only in Spanish, of course. And no, the name is perfect.. watch it and you will agree...

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Memphis, Tenn.: When will people with more than an average IQ be able to watch network TV again, or are those days likely gone for good?

Lisa de Moraes: Hey -- I am an extremely bright woman -- comment about not liking to have intelligent conversations notwithstanding -- and I take issue with your comment. I hope you notice that in the course of this chat I have used several polysyllabic words. I may have even spelled "polysyllabic" correctly...

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Westminster, Md.: Lisa, speaking of smackdowns--did you see D.C. Rep Elenor Holmes-Norton on the Colbert Report--that was a sight to behold!

Lisa de Moraes: Okay, you guys need to know that I have watched absolutely no television in a month. During press tour I was too busy partying and blogging, and since then I have been on TV-less vacation. Think of me as Rip Van Winkle only prettier and beardless, who has just woken up from a deep sleep.

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Anonymous: Lisa,

Is NBC ever going to burn off the remaining episodes of Joey or are they forever lost in a vault somewhere?

Lisa de Moraes: Maybe they'll put them out on DVD for the 4 people who were watching....

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Thanks a lot!: I work from home and when you mentioned TCM is your fallback channel, I switched it on. Now I'm watching the dramatic conclusion of "To Kill A Mockingbird."

Lisa de Moraes: ...see what I mean?

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Ballston, Va.: I heart Ron Livingston. What was he like when you met him?

Lisa de Moraes: dreamy...

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Austin, Tex.: What do you think about NBC's plan to release full pilot episodes of new shows through NetFlix, iTunes, and other online providers? It sounds like a great plan for a network whose new shows have me hearing buzz about people getting hooked on the shows...if they bother to watch the first episodes.

Lisa de Moraes: There comes a time in the life of a network when it's ratings are so bad that its own on-air promotion time becomes far less valuable for promoting the fall season .Then, you will see that sucking network look around for other ways to attract viewers to its new fall lineup. ABC went in for wild posting when it was in the ratings toilet. And, also during its cellar-dweller years, ABC was the first network to run promos for fall series in movie theaters before they started the feature -- I can still hear the screaming and wailing from the Reporters Who Cover film at the trade paper I worked for when I wrote that story. NBC is trying to drum up viewers when its own on-air is of diminished value because it's ratings are not good ...it's a very smart strategy....

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Queer as Folk, U.S.: Pookie, when you mentioned Vanished in your chat last week, you made a comment about Gale Harold that makes me think you don't like him. Please tell me you're not hating on the eye candy I am most looking forward to this season!

Lisa de Moraes: He's very pretty, just not well cast in the role, I'm sorry to report because I love eye candy as much as the next person....

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Baltimore, Md.: I'm a new fan of HBO's "Entourage"...having just finished the 1st season on DVD. (I don't have cable--gasp!) I know I'm late to the game, but just wondered what the general consensus is! Thanks!

Lisa de Moraes: HBO's best hope for "hit" successor to "Sex and the City" and "Sopranos." Okay, HBO's only hope at this point for "hit" successor to "Sex" and "Sopranos."

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McLean, Va.: What I find interesting about "Nightmares and Dreamscapes" (so far) is that the stories themselves are, when you get down to it, over-simplistic/derivative/just not that great, but the production of each episode is so well done that each episode as a whole is great viewing.

The acting, in particular, is especially fantastic. I totally agree about Ron Livingston's performance, and also think we've been given brilliant and enjoyable performances in this series by William H. Macy, Tom Berenger, William Hurt, and Henry Thomas, as well as a bunch of other actors who -- to be honest -- I have never seen before.

Lisa de Moraes: ..did we actually discuss Ron Livingston's performance? I must have missed that; I was too busy thinking about how dreamy he is...sorry.

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Miami Vice: I've been watching the reruns on the Sleuth Channel (which I can't believe I get). What did you think of the show...groundbreaking pop drama or overrated rubbish?

Lisa de Moraes: Pookie, you think this is an either/or question and I'm here to explain to you that "groundbreaking pop drama" and "overrated rubbish" are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they're almost always the same thing...Here at the TV Column we call it 'craptastic'...I love "Miami Vice."

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Baltimore, Md.: Someone also put the pilot of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" up on YouTube. NBC obviously wants this kind of exposure, otherwise they would have ordered it removed. I watched it (it's in five installments), and thought it was pretty entertaining, although it could be called "Studio 60 in the West Wing." Aaron Sorking and Tommy Schlamme clearly only have one way of writing and directing.

Lisa de Moraes: No, NBC made a deal with YouTube. YouTube is now deeply in bed with NBC...sigh....

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Alexandria, Va.: Speaking of the History Channel, my all-time favorite Onion headline is "History Channel Moves To All-Hitler Format."

Lisa de Moraes: ...too funny....

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Westminster, Md.: Understood, Ms Van Winkle. While on youtube watching Ms. Walters you should also seek out the Colbert/Holmes-Norton exchange. Priceless. And I vow that I do not work for Comedy Central or Youtube.

Lisa de Moraes: I know -- clearly much has been happening in my absence.. I will have a lot of catching up to do over the weekend.

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Los Angeles, Calif.: Gene Weingarten linked readers to a foreign television show where unsuspecting portable john users were suddenly exposed, including one john that turned into a jet ski type of thing. It was asked when this would be on American television, as much like "Fear Factor", this type of show began overseas first and then moved here. Someone pointed out the legal liabilities of having such a show. My question: when have legal liabilities ever stopped television programmers?

Lisa de Moraes: Actually it's not a problem. When you see people being made to look like idiots on hidden-camera shows, they have signed waivers to let the network broadcast their moment of hideous embarrassment...Do not underestimate what people are willing to do and the degree to which they are willing to be humiliated in order to have their 15 seconds of fame on national TV....

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Freezing Over, N.J.: Wait, you're saying that Kathy Griffin, that Strong Black Woman, got one Emmy nomination and acting god Hugh Laurie got none? Ice cubes are being chipped out of the River Styx as we speak!

Lisa de Moraes: ... I'm with you....smells conspiratorial to me -- another polysyllabic word, you'll notice...

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Serialized dramas....: I agree with you critics: It grates when you can't find out the ending to a serialized show because it's been pulled. Have any recently yanked shows put their big reveals online?

Lisa de Moraes: no, but several network suits promised they'd do it this season and I'm here to make sure they do....

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Washington, D.C.: I found the Rebecca Romijn show "Pepper Dennis" very sweet and funny. And it gets taken away from me after one measly season! Same thing happened with that cute Alicia Silverstone show a few years ago. I feel like I should just stop investing my time in new shows because chances are they'll just get cancelled. How do I develop a better sense of which shows are worth getting invested in?

Lisa de Moraes: that's easy, read my ratings chart. Every Wednesday. Ratings high -- keep watching. Ratings low -- bye, bye...

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New shows: Any heads up on NBC's new shows with the West Wing team or Jeffrey Tambor?

Lisa de Moraes: I like Aaron Sorkin's new series "Studio 60" which features some of the West Wing cast and, most notably, Matthew Perry. It's far from a perfect pilot but it's one of those pilots that makes you happy to cover television. Jeffrey Tambor's new show with Jon Lithgow is an exercise in competitive scenery chewing. That said, I like it. But I love scenery chewing, especially when it's done by two such talented men...I'm out of time. Bye.

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