Being a Black Man

Black Masculinity in the Hip-Hop Generation

In their new book "Deconstructing Tyrone," journalists Natalie Hopkinson and Natalie Y. Moore dissect black masculinity through examinations of Detroit's "Hip-Hop Mayor" Kwame Kilpatrick, NBA poet Etan Thomas and political prisoner Debo Ajabu, as well as baby daddies, strippers and their dads, gay Black men and the "down low" phenomenon, Black male professionals and convicts.

The authors were online Wednesday, Oct. 18 at noon ET to discuss their book and the issues it tackles. The transcript follows below.

You can find stories, video, photographs and other interactive features from the ongoing "Being a Black Man" series on washingtonpost.com/blackmen.

_______________________

Ypsilanti, Mich.: Kwame Kilpatrick represents all that is wrong with Black Detroiters. The image he projects is one of a politically connected, yet immature young man. As the mayor of a major city, he should project a polished and professional image rather than one of an earring-wearing, six button suit-having pimp. The previous mayor, Dennis Archer, was a professional Black man that had access to the White House. What does Kilpatrick bring to Detroit? Please don't tell me that his election demonstrates his political acceptance because, remember, D.C. voters once re-elected Marion Barry.

Natalie Moore: We have a chapter on Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and we address his so-called "pimp image." We're trying to challenge conventional wisdom and push people to look beyond how he dresses.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: N&N-- Thanks for taking my question. Why are black gay men part of a "down-low phenomenon?" White men have been gay, and cheating on their wives, for years. Keith Boykin does an excellent job of deconstructing this myth, and I'm wondering why other black authors continue to propagate a notion that, to me, does nothing but caricature the age-old "closet" and further marginalizes black men.

Thanks again.

Natalie Hopkinson: we totally agree with you! We interview Keith Boykin and quote from his book in or chapter about gay black men. We are careful to put "DL" in quotes. It is a myth that has helped to sell a lot of books and scared a lot of black women. We hope our portrait of black gay men living Washington help to poke some holes in that construction

_______________________

Bowie, Md.: Black Entertainment Television (BET) reaches millions of households, however, it pushes the most degrading and ignorant stereotypes of Black people in the videos it airs. Why hasn't there been a more vocal backlash against BET? Is it another case of us not wanting to air our dirty laundry in public?

Natalie Moore: There has been some backlash against BET, but people continue to watch the channel. I don't think it's a matter of not wanting to air dirty laundry but people being entertained and wanting to change the status quo. As long as people tune in, BET will continue to air certain videos and artists will continue to make them.

_______________________

Mitchellville, Md.: Hello Mrs. Hopkins,

The article in the Post was great to read. I will definitely get the book. The piece spoke to me so much because it described me and I'm not often seen or discussed in the media. I, like your husband, am a 30-something lawyer who would go to work in jeans, t-shirts and Timberland boots(if I could).

My friends and I often discuss the notion that the Hip-Hop generation has grown up now. We are doctors, lawyers, journalist, etc... However, because of the negative and as you so eloquently put "fake notions of black masculinity that too often are epitomized in rap music." I have increasingly found myself having to keep my kids away from the same music and art form that I grew up on and still love to this day (some of it). What are your thoughts on the idea that current Hip-Hop music is doing a disservice to the Hip-Hop generation?

Natalie Hopkinson: thanks so much for your kind words. My husband's experiences being, for instance, regularly mistaken for the office messenger, have given me a lot of perspective about the kinds of assumptions that are made about black men. Rudy is also the resident bona fide hip-hop head in our house. He insists that terrific hip-hop is out there, you just cant expect to find it on BET. You really have to hunt for it but it is there.

_______________________

Wheaton, Md.: It is understandable that artists would want to fantasize in their videos about scooping women, but at what point do you think this fantasy begins to inscribe itself on the culture, and not the people inscribing it on the music. I know people who actually think some of these hip-hop video cliches are how you meet women. I'm not talking about censorship here, but how can we steer the impressionable from adopting such strange conceptions of reality?

Natalie Moore: One of our chapters interviews middle-school black girls on their relationships with black boys. This is where we begin to see the fantasy infuse itself in culture. Many of these girls said they didn't think boys, as a whole, respected girls. These young boys are mimicking what they see in videos on a smaller scale, but they will call girls derogatory names and take on that hypermasculine posture. A lot of these images can't be shielded from youth, so I think have candid discussions about the images can help boys and girls.

_______________________

Rockville, Md.: I would like to thank you for highlighting the work of Etan Thomas- the NBA poet.

Etan is special because he proves that the link between dreadlocks and bad poetry doesn't ALWAYS hold true. He is a gifted poet, a fierce rebounder, and proudly sports his dreads both on the stage and basketball court.

Natalie Hopkinson: we love Etan! it was an honor and a privilege to spend time with him and his family last year. Once again it proves the idea that there are more progressive views of masculinity out there, we sometimes just have to work harder to find it.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Why devote so much time thought energy and money "deconstructing" a group who could care less about black women and degrade and embarrass their race at every opportunity. Not just the so called "uneducated" ones but all black men are a disappointment. Why not write a book about the resilience of black women next time?

Natalie Hopkinson: I'm sorry that this is the way you see "this group." these kinds of misperceptions are exactly the reason why we had to write the book. There are millions of black men and millions of ways to be a black man. Throughout the book we offer some portraits and perspectives that will challenge what those misperceptions are, "positive" and "negative."

_______________________

Washington, D.C. by way of Michigan: Let me preface this by saying I worked in the Detroit mayor's office during Mayor Kilpatrick's re-election campaign. I witnessed the "re-brandishing" of his image (e.g. removing the diamond earring and increasing the visibility of his role as a son, husband, and father) to offset the negative press that plagued his first term (e.g. the red Navigator, Manoogian Mansion parties, "worst" mayor in America, etc.).

In looking at his case and those of people who may be rising to prominence in the years to come, how do you see the interplay between what might be seen as the "black male hip-hop aesthetic" (i.e. emphasis on material items, ego, etc.) and traditional political or politician characteristics (i.e. winning, etc.)? Can these two be married? What was your general take on Mayor Kilpatrick?

Thanks.

Natalie Moore: We're not saying that Kwame Kilpatrick has been a perfect mayor, but many of the media stories focused on his personality and not policy of a struggling city. A main point in the chapter on him is that perception and reality did not have a middle ground -- particularly in the media. I don't think that being a hip-hop politician means you emphasize material items. Hip-hop means different things to different people.

_______________________

Williamsburg, Ky.: I am tired of hip hop's promotion of negative images of Black men. We are not all drug dealers or jewelry wearing thugs. Why hasn't anyone challenged this negative portrayal of Black men? Black people are so afraid to confront negativity in our culture and we often dismiss critics as sell outs. Have you addressed the negativity of hip hop or the negative images projected by BET in your book?

Natalie Moore: We do have a chapter called "Hip Hop" that looks at the complicated relationship that black women in the hip-hop industry have with the genre. We talk about BET's raunchy "Uncut" video show. I believe that it is currently off the air but those images definitely had a terrible impact on our culture.

_______________________

Chicago, Ill.: How does the Hip-Hop Tyrone differ from the Tyrone of past years?

Natalie Hopkinson: This is one of the fun things about our title. There is no one "hip-hop Tyrone" or any other essential, pure Tyrone, past or present. He is a media construction. At the same time, as we write in the "Tyroninity" chapter, there are some common strains in the way he has been portrayed over time. We touch on this evolution from Esu the Yoruban trickster figure to the Million Man March to Flava Flav,50 cent and Dave Chappelle.

_______________________

Fairfax, Va.: I was wondering about your take on the transformation of the idea of masculinity in Hip Hop? Have you noticed a difference in the ways that it has been portrayed in the music and lifestyle? I have noticed that it went from being almost a sidebar in the early days of party rap, to hypermasculinity, to misogyny, and in some cases advocating tolerance by artists such as Common. Your thoughts?

Natalie Moore: Hip hop seems to exaggerate masculinity more and more each year. That has been seen over the years in videos, concerts and interviews with male rappers. And yes, there is misogyny among rappers. But you're right -- there are the Commons, Mos Defs and Roots of the world. They won't save hip hop, per se, but there are alternatives. Most importantly in this discussion is that hip hop is not just a embraced by blacks. It's commercial and global. The bottom line is making money and that is the driving force behind some of these undesirable images.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: As a former student of Gage-Eckington, it is sad to see that what I experienced 12 years ago there still takes place. Our inner city schools need all the support they can get, it's a shame that those responsible for running a school are turning families who want to support the schools away. Do you think it would be wise for D.C. to allow for the federal government to step in and take over our schools, in the same fashion that took over our government with the control board? Would something like this be possible, and if so do you think it would have a positive impact on our school system?

Natalie Hopkinson: Unfortunately we see some of these same attitudes in the leadership of schools "west of the park," I am so sad to say. I think that part of the problem is that as long as D.C. has been a colony (forever) Congress and everyone else has been using the city as a laboratory to test out ideas they couldn't pass in their home districts. It has created enormous turbulence and instability in the school system. I'm not sure how to give it the stability it needs. I am hopeful that things are looking up. But putting our kids in these experiments in the meantime is extremely nerve-wracking.

_______________________

Annapolis, Md.: Kind of interesting. I just did a web search on Debo Ajabu, and the only references that I could find are tied to your book. Who is she, and why is the web so quiet on her existence?

Natalie Hopkinson: The chapter about Debo is one of the longest in the book. The Ajabus were and are a very prominent family in Indiana. If you visit out blog www.deconstructing-tyrone.blogspot.com you will learn more about Kofi M. Ajabu who I knew growing up as "Debo." He was recently the victim of irresponsible media, unfortunately.

_______________________

Gary, Ind.: I have been reading this series, and I also purchased your book.

My question is while on the one hand I believe it is necessary to look at the lives of black men/black women/black people, do you all think that part of the problem is that black men are viewed as a "collective", and not as individuals? That the problems of black men/black people are consistently seen as somehow being different, more intractable, separate from the problems of American society as a whole.

In other words, are you all concerned that series "like" this one and books like yours, although not done intentionally, aid in how black men/black people are still seen as the proverbial "other", are seen as the "problem"? That these types of articles, discussions, and books HIGHLIGHT not the socioeconomic, political, racial, individual, and AMERICAN part of these problems, but instead highlight "RACE" as being the real culprit?

For example, often times when individual black children do something wrong, there is the tendency to not focus on what that child has specifically done, but instead to view that child's actions in connection with the bad behavior of other black children. Thus I believe that black children are often punished more severely not because their individual actions warrant the punishment, but because their behavior is seen as "ALL of these black children are acting up and are "bad".

The same thing happens to black women where if an individual black woman has an out of wedlock child, her financial, personal, family, and parenting skills are rarely considered, instead she is lumped in with ALL the other black women who had out of wedlock children. Do you get what I mean? It just seems that the actual social/economic/individual causes for so called black problems are overlooked and the focus seems to be on "race", as if being black is the cause of the problem.

Natalie Moore: Great question! Our book really does tell individual stories that could be looked at as a collective. I think what makes our book unique is that we are including black women in this discussion. The book doesn't, for example, rattle off stats about prison rates of black men. We have a chapter on a friend of ours in prison and tell his story and illustrate how it's a racial allegory. Half of the book is interviewing black men and the other half is interviewing black women on how masculinity impacts their lives. We're upfront in the introduction: this is not the definitive stamp on black masculinity. This book is subjective and we never shy away from that notion.

_______________________

N. Bethesda, Md.: I have to question your response to the question pertaining to the mayor of Detroit. The way he carries and presents himself does matter in a position of leadership. Would it be okay for him to look like Michael Irvin on ESPN? How about Lil' Jon? What if he wore gold teeth, is that acceptable for a man or woman in that position? I think that is appearance is a lot more important than you are willing to acknowledge.

Natalie Moore: You're right -- Let me clarify. The mayor did not wear a grill or a do-rag to work. But Detroit's population is a little different. I've seen older judges wear colored suits and other politicians wear gators in Detroit. People do want their politicians to be presentable. However, it got really tiresome to hear about Kilpatrick's earring. I guess he got tired, too, because he removed it.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Hi, Natalie and Natalie -

Congrats on your new book. I'm proud of you ladies!

I, too, was nursed on hip hop and am raising a boy. It's truly a balancing act of being grateful that my son enjoys the spoils, if you will, of a middle-class upbringing, while embracing and being proud of his culture, his history - good and bad. (Yes it's cool to be on the swim team. No, we are not buying the Foul-Mouth Hip-Hop Star's CD. Let Mommy introduce you to EPMD.)

My question: You've interviewed a very diverse group of black men. I think I already know the answer to this, but in your opinion, what is "black masculinity?" Is there an actual definition?

-- Fellow Hilltopper Tina Johnson-Marcel

Natalie Moore: Hi, Tina! Thanks for your support. We see masculinity as something abstract that speaks to how a man carries himself in the world. There is no one answer though.

_______________________

Silver Spring, Md.: What elements/values of hip hop culture do you find invaluable and beneficial, particularly as a Black parent? As a Black parent of two daughters (who also grew up in the 70s and is mourning the death of good rap/hip hop music ala Post writer Lonnae Parker), I find NOTHING to embrace or impart to my daughters or to my 14 year old nephew. Since we are the first generation of Hip Hoppers who are raising children, we need to demand accountability from those in the music industry and we need to teach our children and their peers that there's much more to black culture than bling, big booties, and backbeats. It's unfortunate that Black people have allowed hip hop to over-"represent" and drown out other elements of black culture. Good luck with the book, Natalies.

washingtonpost.com: " Why I Gave Up On Hip-Hop ," by Lonnae O'Neal Parker (Post, Oct. 15, 2006)

Natalie Hopkinson: Thanks so much! I just got off the phone with Lonnae and we were talking about this topic. I have to repeat my earlier answer, borrowed from my husband: There is good hip-hop out there! You really just have to work to find it. It is not on BET and its not on the Radio. Rudy is glowing about the latest album by Hi-Tek. Some of it isn't suitable for kids though. But it never was really, even when we were kids as much as we like to romanticize it.

_______________________

Southwest Side: When will this outdated debate about "race" finally end in this country? African American males of U.S. birth today are not in trouble because of the color of their skin, the shape of their noses and lips, the texture of their hair, or even "white" society's reaction to these physical characteristics. And, the problem certainly isn't the beat of hip-hop music. What ails African Americans is the content of their culture, conveyed in the lyrics of hip-hop music. African American culture continues to produce communities suffering from willful ignorance, self-disrespect and destruction. How else does one explain sentient human beings cultivating communities where males are allowed to father children out of wedlock-without shame or dishonor-to a degree where involved fatherhood becomes the rare exception rather than the norm? How else does one explain sentient human beings cultivating communities where young males are as likely to be killed by their own community members or incarcerated for predatory crimes-perpetrated mostly against their own-than graduate from college? How else does one explain sentient human beings cultivating communities where males are denigrated as "acting white" or being sellouts when they do educate themselves, act honorably, and show respect for themselves and kindness towards others? The explanation is found in what types of behaviors African Americans value and how African Americans act to achieve what they value-in other words, the answer to what ails African American males is the content of African American culture, mirrored in the lyrics of hip-hop.

Natalie Moore: Race matters and we don't see the debate ending anytime soon. In fact, one could argue that there is no serious debate about race in American culture.

_______________________

Mt. St. Joseph High School, Baltimore, Md.: I have been teaching and coaching young men in Catholic High Schools for over twenty years. I still amazes me that a large percentage of my white students are fascinated by Rap/Hip-Hop and the pseudo "Gangsta" culture. The danger I see in this is that this "Gangsta culture" reinforces the stereotypes that many white students have about their black peers; namely, that black males are interested only in "booty & bling" and not anything even remotely academic. Comments?

Natalie Moore: More whites today buy hip hop than black people. One of the dangerous things about hip-hop music and culture being so prominent is that the world is seeing these exaggerated gangsta images and ill treatment toward black women. This does reinforce stereotypes. But record companies are moved by economics and want to sell to students like yours. There needs to be counter balance and I'm sure you're able to provide such in your school with your work.

_______________________

Prince George's County, Md.: First of all, I loved the article in the Post today. I have every intention of buying the book.

I grew up in the 80s when watching the Cosby Show was the in-thing. Some African-Americans, at the time, felt that the show was not representative of the black community as it showed one parent being a doctor and the other a lawyer.

Do you feel that having a show similar to the Cosby Show would be more accepted today as people may stress the positive aspects of the show rather than to view the show of being unrepresentative of some of today's black communities?

Natalie Hopkinson: I loved the Cosby show too. As a black middle class kid living in an all-white neighborhood and school, it helped to remind me that I exist, despite everything else popular culture and mass media tried to tell me. But in the book we tried to stay away from pure "positive" and "negative" characterizations and look at the grayer, more ambiguous world we live in. I long for another Cosby, but I, for instance, absolutely adore "The Wire." It is the smartest thing I've seen on television but it can be argued that it is stereotypical and "negative."

_______________________

Celeste, Washington D.C. by way of Detroit and Minneapolis: Hey ladies! Congratulations on the book. BET has already been mentioned several times in the chat as the source of all evil, and only in your response was artist responsibility briefly mentioned. Why do you think people immediately scapegoat BET and never the artists and labels that make the songs and videos in the first place?

Natalie Moore: Hey, Celeste. Yes, BET often comes up but this issue is larger than the network. Global record companies are marketing gangsta images and artists are happy to oblige. I think people refer to BET most often because it was black owned and thus people expect better treatment. There is enough blame to go around.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Child molestation is a topic that a lot of people avoid, but I think that it is the root cause of homosexuality. Have you all talked to gay men about being molested during childhood?

Natalie Moore: No, we do not. There are many people who would argue against your belief.

_______________________

Ann Arbor, Mich.: As Black people, we have the tendency to embrace counter-culture for its shock value. The ignorance displayed in "grills" is one of the latest instances. How can we expect young Black men to be marketable in the work force when so many of them have tattoos on their necks, can barely speak proper English, and wear sagging pants?

Natalie Moore: Society as a whole embraces shock-value entertainment -- whether its "Flavor of Love" or "Jerry Springer." I think we have to talk to young men. Really talk to them. Find out what they're thinking and how much tatoos and other aesthetics define who they are.

_______________________

Stafford, Va.: Once again, I see it is women writing about and hosting chats about black men. It seems to be the presumption among black women that, if they now have all this education, income and job achievement, this is going to make them attractive to black men, even if these same women are heavy, short and have nappy hair. Have these women seen any Halle Berry movies or recent music videos?

The Brothas have enough disrespect to put up with in a white-dominated society without having to put up with flap from the Sistas, who are now so full of themselves, as Robyn demonstrated in last week's chat. Fortuntately, the Brothas struck back in that chat and thoroughly dissed the Sistas.

The bottom line is that black men and women do not really like or trust one another and this is a continuing block to good long term relationships. Do you agree with that?

Thank you, Sistas.

washingtonpost.com: Chat transcript - Dating and Relationships

Natalie Moore: I disagree that black men and women dislike each other. Our book is not a "relationship" book. We're not spreading the word on how to land a good black man or whining that black men are trifling. There sometimes seems to be a sense that only black men have to deal with the burdens of white society. Black women do, too.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Hello! I think there is nothing wrong with looking for the best educational opportunities for kids today. My only concern for this young generation is that due to the dangerous and critical state of this world that they are missing that natural development time. They are missing the notion of common sense because things for them are over-structured. We learned alot just being at the basketball court. We learned who to trust and who not to follow. We learned triumph and we learned defeat. Same at school. My question is where do kids gain this insight in a world that is forcing parents to structure every detail of a child's life due to the way of the world today? Thanks

Natalie Hopkinson: Excellent point.

My parents never put my teachers and principals through the third degree that I do. They didn't know as much about the politics and inner workings of the school system. They just found the best school system and bought homes there. Because we've made different choices there is an extra burden on us to make sure that we don't do any backsliding. As my mom says, every generation needs to build on the previous one.

But I will definitely heed your wise counsel and also try to give the kids some breathing room! I think this is another benefit of being in public school where they can be in contact with a wide range of people.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: To my mind, the bulk of contemporary rap music amounts to modern-day minstrel-ry, with so-called 'thugs' posturing and playing upon ultra-stereotyped images of urban black men. How is it that a music form that was originally a rebellion against the status quo has become what it fought against, and why (at the risk of sounding like an old man) is this garbage so popular? Don't people see that to be into hip-hop (for the most part) these days is to be a conformist, rather than original?

Natalie Moore: I feel the need to plug a new hip-hop CD that is out -- Lupe Fiasco. You might not hear him on the radio but this is an example of looking for and finding good music.

_______________________

Crystal City, Va.: Will you have a book signing soon?

Natalie Moore: Yes! We start touring tomorrow and will be doing some in DC soon. Check out our blog for dates: deconstructing-tyrone.blogspot.com

_______________________

Los Angeles, Calif.: Hey ladies I haven't read your book. But can you speak a little about the idea of hypermasculinity in hip hop? It seems that black men turn to the talk of violence and sex because in many way that is what they feel they can dominate... That fulfills the ideation of being a man...

Natalie Moore: Thanks for your question. We're be doing a reading in L.A. tomorrow. Hope you can make it! We see hypermasculinity as exaggerations -- e.g. posing by cars, posturing by the pool, watching half-naked women dance around, packing guns. For some men, that does define being a man.

_______________________

Bethesda, Md.: I'm guessing that most white folks look at hip-hop culture as one which fosters academic underachievement, lack of respect for women, lack of responsibility for men, and a distrust for commonsense law and order. (the O.J. issue comes to mind as I write this).

Not that I would want to live in a world where sub-cultures didn't exist, but how does black America expect to ever gain credibility as a productive part of our society when hip-hop culture raises yet another generation of black children who, to a large extent, fail to recognize the values of solid education, strength of family, and strong role models ?

Natalie Hopkinson: This is the eternal question that W.E.B. Dubois raised in his theory of "double consciousness." Do we melt into the pot or do we retain our unique history and identity? I personally prefer the latter approach. That includes hip-hop culture, but that is only just a piece. And even in that small piece of black culture, hip-hop is many things, and not just a culture that 'fosters academic underachievement'

_______________________

Washington, D.C. by way of Miami: Natalies,

As a black Hispanic, I have watched as 90% of the males in my family have been arrested, dropped out of school, sold drugs, or been incarcerated. I have a new young nephew and I am so worried for him: how will he see his role in the world as a young man of color? Who will influence him? Where will he turn for role models? His father is a good man, but continues to struggle to find a job (past conviction that should have never been on his record) and his abandonment by our own father when we were teenagers.

I bring up my racial and ethnic background to point out that the disinterest and apathy that is taking over our young men is beyond the black/white paradigm. There is plenty of brown in there as well; this is a real problem facing people of color no matter where you are. In my case, it is complicated somewhat by the traditional and long-accepted misogynistic views of Latin culture.

In your book, do you address the wider issues facing boys in general? If so, what did you find in your research regarding (a) causes, and (b) possible strategies to reclaim our young men?

Natalie Moore: Thanks for your points. It sounds like your nephew has a role model in you! In my opinion, good role models can often be people who children already know. I also encourage mentoring, whether formal or informal. You can show your nephew that there is a different path to take.

_______________________

Monroe, Mich.: How do you view Black men, such as Colin Powell, who are prominent yet do not concentrate on "Black" issues. Historically, we have tended to label anyone who does not concentrate on Black issues as a sellout. He provides a polished and professional image of Black manhood that receives little attention in the Black community.

Natalie Hopkinson: Believe me I have a lot of things I would ask Colin Powell if given the chance! But in this book we intentionally tried to find people, communities and perspectives that reflect our generation and are mostly flying under the media radar. I agree with you that the leader who happens to be black as opposed to the "black leader" would make a fascinating profile. But there are plenty of people out there already deconstructing Colin. There was a recent Post magazine article that was very interesting.

_______________________

Baltimore, Md.: Hi N&N,

I absolutely love black men! I have wonderful a wonderful father, great brothers, and amazing cousins. I think that the first and most important relationship that a female has is with her father. I read an article a few months back from a young black lady that stated that hip-hop videos made her feel bad about herself and she felt that these videos contributed to her low self-esteem. Do you think this is happening to our girls?

Natalie Moore: We love black men, too! That's an interesting point about the young girl who you read about. Unfortunately, many young black females have not had those wonderful relationships that you have. I'm sure that has led her, and others, to view those videos as making her feel bad.

_______________________

Charlottesville, Va.: I appreciate the voices you two are bringing to the discussion. I can't wait to read the book.

I have done my own research on affluent black families, finding many of them do a sort of purposeful "exposure," exposing their kids to all sorts of different race/class combinations of people, in the hopes that they will see there are middle-class black people, get the good educations that are too often reserved for monied whites, and still have some fluency for street culture, to be able to hang out with blacks of all kinds of backgrounds. Do you see the same thing? Does this sound familiar at all? (It contrasts to a more overt sheltering that non-black parents seem to be doing...)

Thanks

washingtonpost.com: From the first phase of the Being a Black Man series - " The Young Apprentice " by Robert E. Pierre (Post, June 9, 2006)

Natalie Moore: This sounds very familiar. My parents did a great job of exposing me to different activities and making sure I didn't feel inferior to white people. Unfortunately, a lot of black kids don't get that same family support or exposure. But there are youth programs across the country that need adult volunteers to help expose children.

_______________________

Baltimore, Md.: As a white male, I often hear/read about the stigma in black communities against 'acting white'. While I understand that styles of talk, dress and artistic appreciation are specific to culture, I'm concerned that intellectual achievement and certain interests fall under that label, as well. Is this as big of a problem in the black communities as it appears ?

Natalie Hopkinson: another great question! In the extended version of the essay about raising my son in the book, I offer my own dime-store theory about "acting white." The late Berkeley anthropologist John Ogbu coined that term, but I think he got it wrong. When you are that fly in buttermilk, you must lose part of yourself to melt into the buttermilk. This applies to school settings that are insensitive to your identity, history books that don't acknowledge your existence and Eurocentric curriculums. Sometimes clinging to black dialect and criticizing those who don't is a way of resisting fading away and losing your culture and identity. doesn't make it right but it might be a reason.

_______________________

Beaufort, S.C.: Natalies,

Hello from a former student of Natalie H.'s! I was wondering, is there anything you hope the book will teach or show non- black people? What's your message for that audience? Can't wait to read the book.

Natalie Hopkinson: Hello there former student! We would love if non-black readers embraced this book. We are all inundated with these images of black masculinity in the media. it would be great for everyone to have these ideas challenged and critiqued.

_______________________

Not black...: I'm not black, but I love hip-hop. My question is this: If Bowling for Soup made a video like Nelly's "Tip Drill", everyone would see it as a joke and laugh and move on. Kinda like the Poison videos from the mid-80s, if people remember those. Why are videos by hip hop artists some sort of commentary on black culture, while the same videos by rock-n-rollers just a fun three minutes?

Natalie Moore: These videos end up being a social commentary because there aren't nearly the same number of media representations for blacks are there are for whites.

_______________________

Natalie Moore: Thanks, everyone. Bye-bye.

_______________________

Natalie Hopkinson: Thanks everyone! I hope you can see us on the tour and we can continue the conversation on our blog, www.deconstructing-tyrone.blogspot.com

-Natalie H.

_______________________

Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.