Interpreting Your Dreams

Gayle Delaney, Ph.D., was online Tuesday and took questions on the interpretation of dreams.

Read the Article: Dream Seekers

Delaney is founding president of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. She has authored seven books on dreams and their interpretation, and appeared television shows including "Oprah" and "The Today Show."

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Gayle Delaney: WELCOME to our dream chat, fellow dreamers! I shall be responding to your questions from San Francisco and recalling all the wonderful times I have spent in D.C.

A bit of background: I have been working to modernize the art of dream interpretation since my college days in the early seventies.

I am the founding president of the International Associattion for the Study of Dreams (asdreams.org), co-director with Loma K. Flowers, MD of the Delaney & Flowers Dream Center (www.gdelaney.com), and author (All About Dreams, In Your Dreams, New Directions in Dream Interpretation, etc.) and I lecture on the topic of using dreams for problem solving and on contemporary dream interpretation in French, Italian, and English.

My driving passion is to help people shed old superstitions and misinformation about dreams so they can discover how efficiently and productively their mind works every night while they sleep.

Here is a glimple at how I shall be working with you today:

My "Dream Interview" method of interpretation sets up a dialogue between the dreamer and the interviewer in which the interviewer pretends to come from another planet and asks an organized set of questions from a naive perspective, thus encouraging the dreamer to discover his or her own meanings and discouraging the interpreter from imposing his or her projections and guesses garnered from psychological theories or past experience.

Most dreamers will play both roles and interview themselves. Step one of the interview: DESCRIBE the major images of the dream as if describing them to someone from another planet: "Your dream features George Bush. Who is George Bush, and what is he like?" Step two: BRIDGE from the dream image description to waking life: "Does your description remind you of anyone, anything, or any part of yourself?" The interviewer or therapist refrains from making suggestions and allows the dreamer to discover the metaphoric match between the dream images and waking life.

Since each answer the dreamer provides will determine the direction of follow-up questions, in this format, I can only suggest preliminary questions and encourage the dreamer and the reader to consider the various and often surprising ways different dreamers would answer the same questions. Just think how differently a loyal democrat and a loyal republican would describe George Bush!

Let's take for example the dream of Alison Good published in the Post on Sunday. Alison wrote: "I keep having dreams about going back to college. They started out as not being prepared for classes, projects, or tests. Now this may be commonplace for most people, but I didn't start having these dreams until I was 40. Now the dreams are about the college life, moving into dorms and living with people much younger than me. They're really disturbing, and I have them about 10 times a year."

When Alison first had these dreams they were forms of the ever popular and distressing "examination dream" of feeling unprepared for a class or test. To interpret this dream that has tormented so many of us, the interviewer from another planet would ask the dreamer:

"What does it feel like for an earthling like you to be unprepared for such a test? (Description step)

"Can you describe the nature of the class or test for which you are unprepared?" (Description)

"Is there any situation is your life now (at the time of the dream) that fits the description of the test and the feelings you had in the dream about being unprepared?" (Bridge step)

Dreamers can usually pinpoint a situation in their lives at the time of such dreams, such as a particular challenge in a career, a relationship, or a health issue that matches the description of the dream test and the feelings associated with being unprepared and at risk of failure.

The more recent versions of Allison's dreams call for different questions:

("Now the dreams are about the college life, moving into dorms and living with people much younger than me. They're really disturbing.")

"What is it like to be in college?" (For humans in general, for you in particular)

"If you went to college, did you like it or not? How come?"

"What would you think if you were told you would go back to college now?"

"In your dream, how does it feel to be moving into dorms?"

"What is life in dorms like?"

"Do you like dorm life or not, and why?"

"How does it feel to be living with people much younger than you?"

"What aspects of this dream are disturbing and why?"

If Allison whet to college and remembers dorm life as a time of fun and freedom and remembers college as a time of exciting learning opportunities, she might be dreaming about a similar opportunity and new phase of growth in her current life. If she hated dorm life, felt like an outsider, of if she never when to college because she could not afford it or because she was too independent a spirit, she would bridge the feelings and descriptions she

makes in the interview to very different situations in her life. If she liked college well enough, but in the dream focuses on feeling too old to be with such young people, she might bridge to a situation in her life in which she has signed up for a project, but feels insecure about her chances of being accepted by the group, or of keeping up with the competition. We do know that Allison is disturbed by these dreams, but we don't know why. Is it because she is too old to be with the younger people? Does she hate the idea of living in a dorm? Only Allison can tell us to what interpretation her descriptions will lead her!

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Bristow, VA: How seriously should I take my daughter's dreams? At least once per week, my daughter who is 5, have a nightmare. She refers to the nightmare for many days after. Should I be concerned?

Gayle Delaney: Most of children's nightmares, just like those of adults signal that there is something is frigtening or troubling the child. Sometimes the child is able to "articulate the problem" only in the nightmare. I would start by talking about the nighmares with your daughter and helping her to write them down in a journal. Do some reading on the topic, and learn how to ask her non-leading questions that help her describe the images and then relate them to waking life. If this does not reduce her anxiety and the frequency of the bad dreams, call a professional for a couple of sessions to discover what the dreams are trying to help her understand. Nightmares can be the most valuable of experiences in helping one recognize, understand, and sometimes resolve troubling issues.

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Arlington, VA: What are the best web sites available for analyzing your dreams? Are there any tools I should make sure they have available on the site?

Gayle Delaney: In general, one must read books to learn enough to interpret dreams. Most websites that say they can interpret your dreams are terrible. Remember that no one can tell you why you dreamt of, say, a cat. The meaning depends entirely upon what you think and feel about cats (do you love them or are you allergic to them?) as well as upon what the cat is like and what role it plays in your particular dream.) Better to go to sites that refer you to professionals and good reading resources. If you go to www.asdreams.org and to www.gdelaney.com you will get a good start.

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Austin, Texas: Does it matter in dreams if you dream you are you but physically you don't look like you? I am always me in the dreams, but sometimes I look like someone else and sometimes even my gender is different. Once I even dreamed I looked like that guy Columbo but I was still me on the inside. I think in this particular dream I was aware I looked different and was amused that it was Columbo.

Does this mean anything?

Thanks.

Gayle Delaney: FUN QUESTION! When you look like someone else in a dream, you are highlighting certain characteristics in yourself! So pretend I come from another planet and have never heard of Columbo and tell me who he is and what he is like. Use 3-4 adjectives that descibe him. Once you have done that, repeat thise descriptions and ask yourself if there is a part of yourself that is like Columbo, whom you describe as......

Have fun!

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Bethesda, Md.: Do you see any significant differences in dreams by people among language groups?

Gayle Delaney: My experience with dreamers of different language groups is limited to speakers of Spanish, German, French, English, and Italian. My dream work has been only in the US, Canada, and Europe. But my impression is that there are some National, more than lingusitc, traits that show up in the dream-reflected personalities of dreamers. I particularly note that when teaching workshops in different countries, social norms shape how people approach interpretation. For example, onec in France, a psychologist told me that my Dream Interview Method made him very uncomfortable because it require that the interpreter act illinofrmed about life on Earth. ? How could he heep face and ask his dreamer "Who is this fellow Mozart in your dream? I had to encourage him many times that letting the dreamer describe Mozart would yield much richer and more accurate material for understanding the dream. He explained that when he grew up in Paris, children raised their hands to show mastery in the given topic, and that asking stupid questions would have been painfully embarassing. I responded that in my education, almost evey teacher told us that there is no question too stupid to ask!

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Tysons Corner, Va.: Is there any significance to what color you dream in? I tend to wake up thinking that my dreams are tinted, as if I were looking through a colored screen. Orange is a common color, even though I hate it.

Gayle Delaney: As is true for every emage, feeling, setting, and action in a dream, dream colors are clues to the dream's meaning. Ask yourself: What is the orange in my dream like? How do I feel about it?

Be specific. Why do you hate orange? What soes it remind you of?

Does this feeling that you associate with orange tint your life as it is picutred in the dream? Try to interview yourself about the dream first, then ask about the color tint. (see my book All About Dreams for interview help0

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Washington D.C.: Hi Gayle! How much do your theories and approaches to interpretation draw on or differ from the classical theories developed by Freud and Jung?

Gayle Delaney: Had it not been for Freud, there would have been no Jung. Had I not read jung, I would perhaps still be studying Russian economics! Had I not gone to study Jung in Zurich, I would not have been inspired to provide an alternative to his approach. See chapters 1-4 in All About Dreams where I answer your question with the care it deserves. We all owe a great debt to Freud and Jung. However, my apporach is quite different.

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Alexandria, Va.: I took a class in dream interpretation when I was in grad. school seven years ago. Our professor took the position that dreams are problem solving tools and that we must always ask, "what is your association to the object/person in the dream"? We also read about Freudian and Jungian dream interpretation. What do you think of Jung's theory of archetypes? Are there objects that may carry cultural meaning that our brains uses as shorthand to convey certain messages?

Gayle Delaney: Bravo for you and your teacher. Dreams are fantastic problem-slovers and it is a shame we use them so clumsily, if at all. My book, Living Your Dreams is all about dream incubation, or ways to target your dreams on a given night to explore and resolve problems or generate new ideas. I am not a fan of the use of archetypes as defined by Jung and others to interpret dreams. Too often they are used as a formulaic interpretation. I prefer to take any image that might be seen as an archetype and treat it like any other. I ask the dreamer to describe it to me as if I come from another planet. Thus the dreamer is free to discover her own meaning unprejudiced by my projections, preconceptions, and, heaven forbid!, my erudite pronouncements that may have little or nothing to do with the dreamer's experience. Even if the dreamer has similar associations to a so-called archetype, I think she is far better benefitted by discovering the "meaning" on her own, rather than from my recital of what Jung or anyone else had to say on the matter.

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Lexington Park, Md.: I don't seem to remember my dreams. Sometimes I will remember a specific person was in it but no details or action remain once I wake up. Someone once suggested I journal my dreams but there really is nothing there to journal. Is this normal?

Gayle Delaney: RECALLING DREAMS: Yes, Lex, this is normal! If you would like to develop your ability to recall more and more richly your dreams, do this:

1. BEFORE you go to sleep, write your DAY NOTES; two to four lines about what you DID and FELT today. (This may improve your recall by 40%)

2. When you wake, ask yourself what was just going through your mind and write down any crumbs you can retrieve. Often as youstart to write, much more of the dream will come to mind!

3. If you have NO recall, promise yourself that you will write down at least ONE LINE of whatever you thought upon awakkening even if it has nothing to do with dreaming. Sometimes just putting pen to paper will trigger your recall. Sometimes this works to convince youreslf that no matter what, you will have to take the time to write down something and forgetting your dream will not get you out of putting pen to pater. In a week or two, YOU WILL recall your dreams. Just keep at it nightly to trian yourself. May you enjoy your rich dream life!

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Stress dreams: I think it is so weird that masses of people have the same dreams - like spitting out teeth, or not studying for an exam. There seems to be two dream categories - recurring dreams like I just mentioned and dreams that have a story arc. I've noticed that many people dream about childhood - myself included - the older I get, the more I dream about my childhood home and friends.

Gayle Delaney: Common dreams are fascinating. Interestingly, we often put our own personal spin on our particular version of any common dream, and we have our own persoanl meaning for the dream. Don't accept any fixed meaning even for the most common dream. Common dreams can be very helpful in understanding our relationships and the conflicts and opportunities that we meet in our daily lives. (My book, In Your Dreams is dedicated to common dreams and how to interpret them.)

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Mt Rainier, Md.: Is there less significance in non-repetitive dreams? I can vividly recall most of my dreams, but I have not had a recurring dream.

Gayle Delaney: It is hard to put a value on any type of dream. It may be that all dreams are significant. I have taught classes in which I asked the therapists to bring in their most insignificant-seeming dreams. We were all impressed how much insight can be gained from some of the most banal dreams. But I must say that I think recurring dreams are among our most important in that the keep insisting that we have not got the message. Once you understand your recurring dream AND make the appropriate changes in your life and attitude, the dreams disappear or are significantly modified. If you have not recalled recurring dreams, you probably are not "stuck" in a recurring situation in your life. So that is good news!

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Nightmares: I have vivid dreams - several each night. I often have terrifying nightmares - really, they could be great horror films! However, I live a stress-free life. I'm always cheerful and happy and rarely worry. My mom said I've been like this since I was a baby, so I think it's just innate. I have a difficult time buying the idea of dream interpretation. Can't it just be our brain's way of trying to tie together the random images firing away while we sleep? I do notice that I have "stress" dreams during crazy work periods - teeth falling out, didn't practice piano and I have a recital, etc...but they are completely different than "story dreams".

Gayle Delaney: Read "The Nightmare" by Ernest Hartman, MD who has done wonderful research on the tyes of people (more thin boundaried and often more creative) who have a life-long tendency to have nightmares.

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Frederick, MD: Having worked with a small dream group for several years, I find the input and questions from others to be very helpful. Seems that solo analysis would be difficult.

Gayle Delaney: My favorite way to work with dreams is in small groups, but for most people that is just not an option. When I work with groups, we all are highly disciplined and interpret through interviewing with questions and not by suggesting interpretations which are very seducctive to the dreamer and the interpreters, but are often less accurate and less impactful to the dreamer who does better to discover his or her own meaning. Working on your own is how most of us work most of the time.

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Washington, DC: What professional opportunities exist for a psychologist with an interest in dreams? Is running a private practice based on dream therapy a viable option? Does the market exist for that? What alternatives to private practice exist for a psychologist with an interest in dreams?

Gayle Delaney: Wroking only with dreams is a very specialized practice, and I would not quit your day job! But incorporating enlightenind dreamwork into your general therapy practice can work wonders. In my opinion, doing therapy without dreamwork is like practicing orthopedice without x-ray's.

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Gayle Delaney: Our dream talk hour, unhappily, is over! Thak you for your many questions and comments. If you would like to spend a few days at a wonderful conference on dreaming open to all in the Sonoma Wine County north of San Francisco June 29-July 3, 2007, visit www.asdreams.org and join us for lectures, workshops, a Dream Ball, and lots of learning and fun! may your dreams be fascinating and insight-rich!

Best,

Gayle Delaney

www.gdelaney.com

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