On Billy Graham

A dispute about the final resting place of evangelist Billy Graham and his wife Ruth Bell has split their family. The Washington Post's Laura Sessions Stepp was online Friday, Dec. 15 at noon to discuss her story about the difficult choice Graham must make: to heed the wishes of his heir or his wife.

A transcript follows.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Thank you for the story -- I found it quite interesting and hope that Ruth gets her way. My question for you: do you have a connection to the family? What prompted this story?

Laura Sessions Stepp: I have no connection to the family. See the answer I already typed for my reason for doing the story.

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Slippery Rock, Pa.: I find it ironic that Franklin Graham and his developer/associate/toady Graeme Keith would rush to put out a statement to the effect that Billy and Ruth Graham's burial choice is a "private matter" - when their plan is to use their dead bodies as the major attraction at his "tackfest" barn memorial. My question - Does Franklin Graham exert enough financial control to effectively muzzle his sisters and punish his baby brother? The sisters public silence is deafening in the face of this situation. Thank you.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Franklin wields enormous control over his board, particularly the executive committee, and the BGEA does help at least one of the sister's ministries. But for the sisters, it is also a matter of not wanting to air their linen in public. They have always been, or tried to be, a private family. Anne, by the way, released a statement after my story came out saying she is publicly siding with Ned.

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Washington, D.C.: I can certainly understand the importance Billy Graham has played in American society. But I'm a little curious why this story merited so much ink.

Is it to highlight the possibility that Franklin Graham is more interested in creating somewhat of a tourist attraction that uses his father's burial site to accomplish that purpose? Is there something else at play here?

I'd appreciate your effort to illuminate why The Post found this ongoing debate between mother and son encouraging enough to give it the play it received. Not a criticism; just curious.

Thank you.

Laura Sessions Stepp: That's a good question. Couple of reasons. The Graham family, particularly Billy Graham, are public figures. Billy Graham is probably one of the best-known men in America, if not the world. It is of great interest to ordinary people how well-known people live - particularly on issues such as this one with which so many readers can relate, i.e. burial wishes. In addition, Franklin Graham is heir to a multi-million business to which many, many Americans contribute hard-earned dollars. The story enables people to see how their money is being spent.

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Laura Sessions Stepp: Hello, readers. I am Laura Sessions Stepp, a staff writer for the Post. I welcome your questions/comments today about my Wednesday story. By way of background, I covered religion some years ago for the Post before moving to the Style section where I currently reside.

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Washington, D.C.: Could you tell us more about Billy and Ruth's daughters? You mention in the story that two of the three have ministries. How does their work differ from what the sons are doing? Are there theological or political differences among the kids? Thanks very much for a fascinating article.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Two of the daughters have their own speaking ministries. They lead revivals and appear at various events. The best known of them is Anne Graham Lotz who runs AnGel Ministries out of Raleigh. I believe all three sisters have written books as well.

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North Myrtle Beach, S.C..: Did Mrs. Graham sign a legal document stating her wish to be buried at the Cove?

Laura Sessions Stepp: She signed a document, witnessed by six people, stating her wishes to be buried at the Cove. One of the witnesses was a notary public, who authorized it.

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Bethesda, Md.: One thing I took away from the article is Billy Graham's indifference to the situation. Is that correct?

Laura Sessions Stepp: No, that is not correct. Billy Graham, according to two of his children, is deeply conflicted. He is also a man who doesn't like conflict. He loves both his wife (deeply) as well as his children.

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Lakeland, Fla.: I have donated money to the Billy Graham crusades over the years and was under the impression it would be used to further the Kingdom of God, not build a shrine to The Grahams. Why not have the burial on private property never to be seen by the public?

Laura Sessions Stepp: Great question. Some people close to the Grahams would argue for a private burial, but others believe someone of the stature of the Grahams need a public ceremony/burial -- as a way of perpetuating the ministry.

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Anne, Montana: Hi, I asked you a few days ago about the three Graham daughters. I read Anne Graham Lotz's statement yesterday. Any update on this? I'm wondering because of evangelical mandate to let the men do the heavy lifting but it's their parents for crying out loud. If I'd known an outsider was called in to do the dirty work concerning my parents, I'd step up and say this has gone on long enough. Thanks.

Laura Sessions Stepp: I am puzzled myself about the daughters being unwilling to go public. That continues to be the case.

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Helena, Montana: As someone who came of age during the civil rights movement, I have never understood the sanctification of Billy Graham by our media. I know he has been a comforter of REPUBLICAN presidents (Nixon, Reagan, Bush I), and I know he is conservative and evangelical, but he was also silent during the civil rights struggle, which was as much a moral struggle as a legal struggle. He wasn't as much a vocal supporter of segregation as Falwell and Robertson, just silent. Do reporters such as you think that to be religious one must be conservative and Catholic or conservative and evangelical? Do you not know there are millions of us liberal Christians who are religious as well?

Laura Sessions Stepp: I'll address one of your points: Billy Graham actually was one of the first white Protestant evangelists to insist that his crusades be open to all. He did this in the early '50s before Brown v. Board of Education made segregation illegal. And he took quite a bit of heat from Southern pastors and mayors as a result.

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Yardley, Pa.: Does the Rev. Franklin Graham understand that a fundraising and legacy continuation of the great work his father did (in partnership) with his mother, will suffer greatly? Giving money and real love (in admiration) will be hindered by others (Franklin, his son and the board he controls) who want to take Billy Graham's burial and that of his mother to a place they obviously object to. Fundraising will then look forced and obviously "commercial."

Thank you for holding this open discussion.

P.S. - I'm a devoted admirer who attended Billy Graham's crusades at the old Washington, D.C. armory in 1951-1952. I was a U.S. Senate page at the time, and met Dr. Graham one day outside the Senate chamber. He was so gracious and humble as usual.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Thanks for chiming in.

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Talking Cow?: Please explain why you think anyone would think that is appropriate to welcome people to a memorial for a world famous evangelist?

Laura Sessions Stepp: What I know is what Franklin said: it would attract kids to the memorial. The organization is looking to attract children to its work and ministry.

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Wilmington, Twp. Pa.: It would seem that this family squabble could have potential ramifications from a fundraising standpoint. What say you?

Laura Sessions Stepp: You could be right. I think it will depend on how it is settled.

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Chevy Chase, D.C.: I heard Patricia Cornwell on Imus yesterday morning. How did she get a dog in this fight?

Laura Sessions Stepp: As she said, she is a longtime friend of Ruth Graham's. Ruth Graham asked for her help.

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Clarksville, Md.: As a great admirer of Billy Graham and his work, I am saddened that something so personal has come out. In the end, I hope there is a happy ending to this saga and that the wishes of their parents are honored as we are to honor our parents.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Thank you for writing.

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Washington, D.C.: Thank you for a truly sad story.

I am fan of Billy Graham. And I owe my life to him. I do not, however get it. If I were Mrs. Graham and the kids, I'd get myself a lawyer, and draw up legal papers stating where she will be buried. End of story. If Franklin Graham is truly interested in doing the right thing here, he would just abide by the wishes of his mother, (and his father). Am I missing something here?

Laura Sessions Stepp: I believe they hope the notarized document that Ruth Graham dictated and signed will hold up in court. More than that, they're hoping it doesn't have to end up in court, that Franklin will come around.

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Nashville, Tenn.: From what you know of Franklin, would he likely welcome a face-saving way of walking away from this whole misbegotten idea?

Laura Sessions Stepp: I don't know him well enough to say. Interesting thought.

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Atlanta: Franklin Graham appeared on CNN this a.m. and stated that there really is no rift. And he also says that, of course, he will honor both his mother and his father. This is quite different than Patricia Cornwell's description of the state of things in her appearance on MSNBC yesterday. Is Franklin somewhat out of touch on just how acrimony has been created?

Laura Sessions Stepp: He is not out of touch, according to what I've heard and seen. As history has taught us, what public figures say publicly and what they say and do in private are often two different things.

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Columbus, Ohio: Just a comment: I pray that the family will honor Billy and Ruth's wishes.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Good point. For that to happen, Billy has to first make a decision.

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Baton Rouge, La.: Billy Graham and his wife Ruth have been an inspiration to the American public for many, many years. It seems sad that they would even consider being separated in death. Since Ruth has decreed her burial place, it seems that the decision is made ... wherever her resting place will also be his resting place. That's the proper decision for this long-married, devoted, and greatly admired couple, despite what any person or organization says otherwise.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Thank you for writing.

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Minneapolis: In his autobiography, "Just As I Am," Rev. Graham clearly presents the picture of himself as a simple, peaceful man who would never want to be the centerpiece of public venture of this kind. How could Graham have misread his father so completely?

Laura Sessions Stepp: Franklin, by many accounts, is very different from his father and has, perhaps, a different vision of the ministry and his father's role in it.

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Cape Coral, Fla.: Dr. and Mrs. Graham have led a good life together. The decision on a final resting place should be solely theirs to make, and family as well as the general public should respect their wishes.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Passing this along.

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Aurora, Ill.: I guess I find it interesting that funding the the Billy Graham Library isn't a problem while the funding of the Billy Graham Library at the Billy Graham Center at Wheaton College apparently isn't a priority.

Why build the Graham Center in Wheaton and a newer center near the home compound?

Laura Sessions Stepp: Good question.

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Oh, please: While a talking cow might entertain small children who are brought along with their parents, no child is going to demand a trip to the Billy Graham Memorial Library. Nor are the unchurched likely to make a special trip to see it. Franklin Graham will be preaching to the choir and he should accept that.

The library should be just that, a library of resources for ministers and evangelists who will take the message back to their home communities. It should not be a place of pilgrimage to pay homage to a human being--a concept decidedly foreign to Graham's theology.

Laura Sessions Stepp: There are two places already where pastors and others can study about Billy Graham: The Cove, in Asheville, and Wheaton College, just outside Chicago.

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Washington DC: Being a bank regulator, we march to the tune of "Follow The Money." Could you explain how Franklin and the organization is funded and how that will change with the sad, sad death of his father? Rev. Graham was always so fastidious about not being involved in the financial end of the business -- leaving that to the board. I gather that Franklin is less so.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Great question. Don't have a good answer at the moment.

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New York, N.Y.: My wife and I are both former journalists, and I have always remarked that the Pope gets much more ink compared to pastors who have many more followers in the U.S., such as Rev. Graham. So, I think the story was over due, and frankly, very well done. It's really got 'em talking down in Charlotte.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Many thanks.

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New Castle, Pa.: Would you be kind enough to tell how you became so intimate with the Graham family?

Or how you made it to the inside of this family?

Thanks.

Laura Sessions Stepp: I was at the meeting by the invitation of Ned Graham.

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West Coast: Is this simply another case of lionizing the messenger at the expense of the message?

Laura Sessions Stepp: Passing along to readers....

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Annandale, Va.: What was your motivation for writing on this subject? Why do you consider this newsworthy? This appears to be a private issue between Mr. Graham and his family.

Thank you.

Laura Sessions Stepp: See earlier response, pls.

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Atlanta, Ga.: Why does Franklin have to make the old honest man of God choose between him and his wife? Where I come from (The Kikuyu) such things are talked about after the person dies and even then his/her final wishes are a major role. The most sensible is always the place where he/she lived and in this case The Cove wins hands down.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Another reader weighs in.

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RAB, Pa.: I'm puzzled why the Graham's would ever allow this to become public knowledge. And why would they not use damage control to bring it to immediate closure?

Laura Sessions Stepp: Some things cannot be shut down, particularly in a family and an organization this well-known. Additionally, under Billy Graham, the organization was known for its openness with reporters, compared to other ministries.

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re: Helena / Civil Rights: I have to defend Rev Graham's legacy with respect to the civil rights movement to some degree. As you pointed out, he was one of the very first evangelists to insist on integrated crusade. And, at least once, threatened to cancel a service in the South local leaders refused and then relented.

He also counted himself a friend of Martin Luther King's. They struck a deal that King would evangelize as he did literally organizing and marching in the streets. King asked Graham not to join him because he thought it could do more harm with attitudes in the South at the time.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Passing along...

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New Castle, Pa.: So, was Ned the one who went public with this dispute?

Laura Sessions Stepp: Yes.

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Pittsburgh: I am totally baffled that this would be a tough decision for Billy Graham. His wife raised their children while he traveled the world, preaching the Gospel. She stayed by his side and has been, from all accounts, a devoted wife and mother. The Bible that Billy Graham teaches from tells us that husband and wife become "one flesh." Surely the fact that his wife feels so strongly about her (their) final resting place, and as well as the fact that she has allowed the dispute to go public, should be enough to allow him to cede to her wishes. She has had to share her husband with the whole world during life. At least in death, their bodies should rest in peace and privacy in a place of her choosing. Marriage is always about compromise. What she is asking is surely not unreasonable.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Thanks for your thoughts.

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Bethesda, Md.: What do you think Ned Graham's motives were for inviting you?

Laura Sessions Stepp: I can't speak to motive. I do know that he was afraid his mother's wishes were not going to be honored.

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Columbia, Md.: A well-written story, albeit painful to read. Thank you.

In the terrible event that Dr. Graham passes before making his wishes known verbally to his family -- is there a written document in which he has made his wishes known?

Laura Sessions Stepp: Thank you. Good question about Billy Graham's wishes; I don't know the answer to that.

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Ottawa, Canada: I am not a follower of Billy Graham but my parents were. I can not imagine how a family could even consider burying their parents in separate locations, especially after the years of love and devotion they shared. It's a shame that the Graham ministries became so big and, dare I say, commercial.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Passing on...

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New Wilmington, Pa.: Yes, madam. How did this family squabble ever become public knowledge? Did Ned leak it? Or was it the family friend?

Thanks.

Laura Sessions Stepp: As I said earlier, Ned made it possible.

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Miami, Fla.: Comment:

This is clearly a question of money. Billy Graham's contemporary donor base is aging and Franklin Graham's pursuit of new money and new donors -- rather than the wishes of Mrs. Graham -- are what this is all about.

And grief to Mrs. Graham is grief to Billy Graham. He deserves better at this stage of his illustrious life.

Franklin Graham should be deeply ashamed for putting his parents through this for the sake of money and power.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Passing along...

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Washington, D.C.: You are right to title your story " A Family Affair" -- because that is exactly what it is -- a family affair. Why did you choose to write about it?

Laura Sessions Stepp: Please see one of my first replies.

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San Francisco: As an aside, I find the long-time friendship of the Grahams with Patricia Cornwell very indicative of their lives and ministry. Cornwell actually wrote Ruth Graham's biography. And, of course, Cornwell's own personal life has not been without controversy. Is this friendship a real life example of how they feel about being accepting of others?

Laura Sessions Stepp: Absolutely. Billy and Ruth know her and love her.

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Dr. Graham and Presidents: Re Helena's comments -- Dr. Graham had a good relationship with JFK, and JFK's father. Was also on good terms with President Clinton, I believe.

Laura Sessions Stepp: For you readers...

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Germantown, Md.: Franklin Graham has clearly lost sight of the humble origins of the Christian faith. Jesus was buried in a common tomb. Faithful followers of Jesus have understood the importance of humility in serving their Lord. Certainly, someone will be able to see the error of his efforts, or much will be lost in this very unfortunate situation.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Thank you for sending us your comment.

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Philadelphia: Can you please post a link to Anne's statement? I would like to read it and did not find it on her Web site. Thank you.

washingtonpost.com: Statements from Anne Graham Lotz and Franklin Graham (Dec. 13, Charlotte.com)

Laura Sessions Stepp: Here you go.

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Ballston: I agree with those who say this story is not overdone. This family spat hasn't attracted nearly the attention that the Haft war did, at least around here. And the Haft legacy is nothing close to Graham's.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Thank you.

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Franklin, Tenn.: In your story you quoted Graeme Keith saying that "In her physical condition, she agrees with the last person who talked to her."

Was it your impression when you were in their home that that was the case?

Laura Sessions Stepp: Not at all. She is alert, doesn't miss a trick.

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Woonsocket, R.I.: Why should Franklin stop with the mechanical talking cow? He could really pull in the dough by putting his parents in glass coffins, Lenin-style, and "animating" them with inspiration recorded passages!

Sorry for the sarcasm, but I find this whole affair absolutely disgusting -- and sad evidence that a Christian upbringing, even by someone as well known as Billy Graham, is apparently no guarantee of good taste, decency or shame.

Laura Sessions Stepp: Passing along.

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Laura Sessions Stepp: Thanks to all of you for taking part in this lively, thoughtful discussion. Should you have other ideas or comments, you may email me at steppl@washpost.com

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