Thursday, March 29, 2007; 2:00 PM
When stars shave their heads, couch-jump, commit a fashion faux pas and commit random acts of tomfoolery, washingtonpost.com Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly shares the buzz, offers perspective and provides crucial links to juicy alternate news sources and, of course, takes your reaction in her daily blog.
Now join Liz each Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), "Lost," and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.
The transcript follows.
Before she started blogging about celebrities, Liz ran washingtonpost.com's Live Online section, where she enjoyed talking to really interesting people -- including some Post reporters -- on the phone. She still produces both Carolyn Hax's advice discussion and Gene Weingarten's Chatological Humor*, which is currently on hiatus.
Liz Kelly: Just when I was about to make bank printing "Free Britney" T-shirts, she up and leaves rehab. She's 10 pounds lighter, sporting a brown wig and demure clothes and (so far) staying away from the club scene. Still, she has been rushed to the emergency room twice for a tooth problem. So, either "tooth problem" is some kind of euphemism for having one's stomach pumped or Britney doesn't get the whole dentist concept.
Speaking of reformed girls gone wild, Courtney Love seems to have gotten some dieting advice from Janet Jackson and managed to drop about 45 pounds in the last four months by drinking these shake thingies that are recommended for post-gastric bypass patients. Yum. "Sources" say she still wants to lose 10 more, which would put her squarely in Nicole Richie territory and adding yet another arrow in her arsenal of positive life lessons for daughter Frances Bean Cobain. Bruce Willis, apparently, approves.
My personal favorite this week was the rumor about Michael Jackson's scheme to build a 50-foot robot version of himself -- complete with eyes that would shoot out laser beams -- that would welcome visitors to Las Vegas. I'm pretty sure I would want the plane to keep going if I saw a metallic Jacko loping across the desert, but that's just me.
What else? Oh yes, Anna Nicole died because there were drugs in her system. Howard K. Stern may not be the baby's father. Paris Hilton has purchased some kind of genetically-challenged cat. Mary-Kate and Ashley plan to get nose jobs (in lieu of any real acting jobs, I guess). And Diddy says he can do it all night (and day and night).
Re: Lost -- maybe I'm off this week, but last week's solid Locke episode didn't inspire much in the way of commentary in the blog while this week's Nikki/Paolo mini-soap opera is inspiring lots of opinionizing and mostly of the positive variety. Maybe I need some kind of "Lost" therapy to get over my bitter feelings about how the show has been mainly lame this season. We'll talk about it in the last 15 minutes of today's show.
I'm open to ideas for tomorrow's Friday list, though I think I have a good'n in mind.
And away we go...
National Treasure II Filming?: My husband was in a terrible traffic jam yesterday coming into town from Arlington and he heard on the traffic radio station that filming of "National Treasure II" has begun. How do I catch Nick Cage around town and how long are they here to film the movie?
Liz Kelly: According to the Reliable Sourcettes, National Treasure will be around for a couple more weeks -- till April 16 -- and ask readers to e-mail them at email@example.com with any Nic Cage sightings. Me, I'm more interested in the elusive Jon Voight (estranged father of Angelina Jolie).
Nice that they'll be able to take advantage of the cherry blossom peak and, umm, everything else the D.C. metro area has to offer this time of year, such as.... uh... Easter.
Ick Ick Ick!: Diddy can go for 30 hours? Please.
Could someone please tape his mouth shut?
Liz Kelly: Somehow I don't think that would slow him down.
Gwyneth Paltrow: Regarding your blog post about Gwynnie yesterday -- I actually feel sympathy for her because I do the same thing. I don't mean to come across as arrogant, but I often do. Granted I'm not in the public eye like she is, but I know how it feels from her end ... except for the Oscar-winning and married-to-a-rock-star parts...
washingtonpost.com: The World According to Gwyneth (washingtonpost.com, March 28)
Liz Kelly: You don't sound like Gwyneth at all. The fact that you're even concerned means you don't live by the same self-centered universe she occupies. See, here's how she'd say what you just shared:
I feel sympathy for Gwyneth because I know what it's like to be better than everyone else. It's hard being me.
Arlington, Va.: Next week is April. Is he who shall not be named coming back?
Liz Kelly: I'm assured he will be back among us, risen from the dead as it were, in mid to late April.
Detroit: Hi Liz. Have you seen the cover of this week's issue of Us, about Angelina's "twisted double life"? I've always considered myself on "Team Aniston" (yes, I think about these things) but this seems pretty ridiculous and mean-spirited. Does Us have it out for Angelina? Are they mad at her for selling the Pax baby photos to People magazine? What a weird magazine cover.
Liz Kelly: It certainly does read like someone at "Us" has it in for Angie. I think the crux of their story is that Angie told a Vietnamese newspaper she planned to stay home with the kids for a few months when, in reality, she's already signed on to film at least three movies by the end of the year ("Wanted," "Atlas Shrugged" and "The Changeling").
Earlier this week I was going to write a piece about how Angie really hasn't been in that many great movies (despite her Oscar-winning status), but I didn't. I loved "Gia" -- but "Gone in 60 Seconds" and "Tomb Raider"? Ew.
Indianapolis: I wonder if Diddy got tantra tips from Sting?
Liz Kelly: Well, Diddy has been spending a lot of time over in England. In fact, there were some pix of him from earlier this week helping Sienna Miller celebrate her birthday in London.
One blog claims Diddy even left girlfriend Kim Porter alone at the hotel while he caroused with Sienna. To be fair, though, maybe she was worn out after the 30-hour marathon.
Giant Jacko: Ewww. Suddenly I'm having visions of something like the MechaStreisand on South Park.
Liz Kelly: Nice!
Pittsburgh: You are right about Courtney Love -- there is a recent photo of her on the PerezHilton Web site, and you can hardly recognize her she's so thin. Apparently these shaky thingies are the only thing she's been consuming. Kind of scary. And finally -- Donatella Versace's daughter is getting treatment for anorexia. Although they should have done it about three years ago.
Liz Kelly: Yes, that's right. Little Allegra seems to be the latest victim of a fashion industry obsessed with stick figures. Lets hope mom Donatella, who is in a position to make a real change in that image, steps up to the plate.
re: Ick Ick Ick: Liz, nobody wants to slow him down -- he needs to speed it up!
Liz Kelly: You realize this chat will be over in only one-thirtieth of the time it takes Diddy to do his thing?
Washington: I was thinking of opening a denim trouser store called Jeans Winegarden. Might I be sued?
Liz Kelly: That's a fabulous idea. You can serve wine, sushi, plain hot dogs and milk chocolate to prospective customers.
And sell threadbare T-shirts.
Speaking of He Who Should Not Be Named: The other one -- Lord V. What's the final word on the mile-high club incident?
Liz Kelly: Final word seems to be that Ralph is guilty as charged, though I can't imagine that he feels to chagrined about the incident. And not that it matters, but the stewardess involved apparently used to be a prostitute. I guess she retired?
I also saw a report somewhere -- which I of course can't find now -- that Fiennes was spotted in Belgium a week later sharing a hot tub with a few bikini-clad women.
Fairfax, Va.: I think you did observe last week the scarcity of good films Angelina's been in -- even Jennifer Aniston has made more interesting choices (thinking more "The Good Girl" and "Friends With Money" than "The Break-Up"). You'd think that Angie would, given her political/social concerns, maybe lend her sexiness to roles that are a wee bit more multidimensional/complex/interesting/thought-provoking. Is she a good actress? If so, couldn't she best spread her message through her "craft" rather than through the tabloids (and occasional editorials)?
Liz Kelly: Hmm, maybe I did. Good then. Though I feel I've been too negative this week, what with the Gwyneth criticism and all. This is why I'm looking forward to tomorrow's Friday List.
Washington: What is up with the Olsen twins? Are they both still in college at NYU?
Liz Kelly: Mary-Kate dropped out at least a year ago. I believe Ashley is still enrolled.
Courtney Love: I'm more skeeved by the face that is much redder than the rest of her. How does one do that?
Liz Kelly: I'm wondering if that red face suggests the lingering effects of a chemical peel or some other equivalent treatment.
Richmond, Va.: The Jolie movies I've seen and liked were "Girl, Interrupted" and "The Bone Collector."
Liz Kelly: Liked "Girl." And also will admit to liking one of her earliest movies, "Foxfire." But, Angie baby, what have you done for me lately?
Don't bash Angie, you...: Well, I don't want to call you names, but please don't bash my favorite freako. For those of us who love action movies, "Tomb Raider" was just fine, and "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" was even better. She's at least as good an actor as Mr. Pitt (faint praise?), and way better than Ms. So-Irritating-I'd-Rather-Walk-Out-Than-Sit-Through -This-Whole-Movie Aniston. Also, please lay off Ms. Gwyneth. She's okay, just very awkward. You hate her for having a good vocabulary -- turn your hater ways to Ben Affleck, who has the same problem.
Liz Kelly: Dude, we are all free to hate at will. As for Angie, sure she's fine as an action flick babe and the only thing she's got over Jennifer Aniston is a few inches of height and a cup size.
And I don't hate little Gwynnie for having a good vocabulary. I dislike her very sheltered view of the world and ill-advised observations that really do make her sound disconnected from reality. One commenter on that piece in the blog reminded me of a quote Gwyneth gave about "Shallow Hal" -- something to the effect that she was doing this movie for all her unfortunate fat friends.
Brooklyn, N.Y.: Is anyone besides Diddy supporting his endurance claim? Any exhausted women in wheelchairs backing him up? Because if we're just taking his word for it them, um, I can go for 30 days, not 30 hours! Yeah! Though I doubt that would appeal to any woman.
Liz Kelly: Let's call J. Lo and ask.
Virginia: Who would even want to go for 30 hours? The chafing! Think of the chafing!
Liz Kelly: But I don't want to think of the chafing.
Washington: What movie is being filmed in front of the White House? I walked by there today (around 11:30 a.m.) and they were filming. I couldn't see faces, but there was a skinny little blonde girl (so descriptive, right?) and some dude in a seersucker suit (ugh, so Washington wannabe).
Liz Kelly: I would guess that this is "National Treasure II."
Liz Kelly: As producer Chris points out, "skinny blond girl" is a good description of co-star Diane Kruger.
Washington, D.C.: Why is there no archive for the Celebritology chats? I've looked for it everywhere and can't find it; am I just looking in the wrong places?
Liz Kelly: There is. It's being added to the Live Online host drop-down and is linked from the left side of my blog. But if you want to bookmark, here it is.
Washington: "I think part of the downside of being so successful and reaching sort of the pinnacle of everything when you're 26 years old is that I kind of became insouciant about things that I chose." Is this what you interpret as Gwyneth saying she's better than everyone? That's not what she's saying at all -- sounds like success has taken away her ambition to succeed. I think the same thing happened Michael Jordan. I don't get why people want to hate on G.P. I think people just can't stand it when a star doesn't care what people think.
Liz Kelly: You be the judge:
"Even actresses that you really admire, like Reese Witherspoon, you think, another romantic comedy? You know. You see her in something like Walk the Line (2005) and think, 'God, you're so great!' And then you think, 'Why is she doing these stupid romantic comedies?' But of course, it's for money and status."
"I sort of look at some peers of mine and I think, "No, you've got it all wrong!" I just want to tell them all to have babies and be happy and not get sucked into that Hollywood thing."
"Brits are far more intelligent and civilized than Americans. I love the fact that you can hail a taxi and just pick up your pram and put in the back of the cab without having to collapse it. I love the parks and places I go for dinner and my friends. It's a pretty city, you know."
There are more, but I'll stop here...
Gwyneth: Did you ever see that part of Kathy Griffin's stand up where she talked about Gwyneth dissing her on the red carpet? Griffin had a red carpet gig, and Gwyneth (in plain view of Kathy) got these facial expressions like she didn't at all want to talk to Kathy, then resigned herself to it and walked over to Kathy like a sulky toddler. It was a scream.
Liz Kelly: Unfortunately, I missed that. Sounds like Angelina at this years Globes when she refused to talk to Ryan Seacrest.
Baby Daddy: You'd think that at least one of the parties involved in the custody battle for Dannielynn Smith would offer to put whatever money she gets from her mother's estate in trust for her to receive when she becomes an adult -- excepting a certain amount to be spent for her education. Not that they're in it for the money or anything.
Liz Kelly: I would imagine its being in trust is a given. Still, the identity of the trustee is what makes all the difference. One would assume the trustee would be the yet-to-be named guardian.
People vs. Us Weekly: I can't vouch for the veracity of this, but Gawker is claiming that the US Weekly rant against Angelina is just good old-fashioned sour grapes because she peddled pix of Pax to People. Alliteration aside, Gawker lays out a good case against US Weekly.
Liz Kelly: Thanks for the link.
Paging Mr. Fiennes: He's hot and British -- and quite randy. Unfortunately, I am not a flight attendant, nor do I own a hot tub in Belgium. It could be worse, it could be Kevin Costner. Oh ... wait...
Liz Kelly: Oh man. Yes, for those who aren't already briefed, please Google "Kevin Costner massage."
"National Treasure: Book of Secrets": I met Jon Voight this morning at the filming (it was happening right near my office, so I popped out to have a look). He wasn't very nice, kind of stand-offish. I didn't get to meet Nicolas Cage, but I saw him, and he was wearing a doofy outfit.
Liz Kelly: Excellent. So Voight was standoffish, eh? This could explain a lot. Was he wearing seersucker?
As for Cage -- did he still look super-thin or has he returned to a normal weight?
Washington: Can we all agree this Diddy claim is utter bull? Forget the idea of being able to have continuous sex for 30 straight hours -- the idea that he is even awake for 30 consecutive hours is ridiculous.
Liz Kelly: I don't find it that hard to believe that he was awake for 30 hours. Red Bull does give you wings, after all.
That said, yes, it's probably just him beating his chest.
Nope: You're manufacturing the Gwyneth thing. She's a literate nerd, she uses big poetic words and thinks the best of everyone. Now, you wanna talk snooty, there's Angelina (whom I always defend when they attack her for adopting -- but when it comes to her superior attitude at the Oscars, it's open game).
Liz Kelly: Sorry, but I'm not the only one to get the same impression from Gwyneth. As for thinking the best of everyone, that's hogwash -- she clearly views Americans as being inferior to Brits.
And big words do not a literate person make.
Oh, and I completely agree with you about Angelina.
But enough negativity. Let's talk about those we love. Drew Barrymore, for instance. I love her, though apparently not as much as former Jane magazine editor Jane Pratt.
Washington: Re: Angelina Jolie -- she's really good (and funny) in "Mr and Mrs Smith." My wife and I both love that movie.
Liz Kelly: Thanks. I have to confess that I haven't seen it.
Gwynnie: I'm actually surprised at how clueless G.P. is. I would have thought that Blythe Danner, of all people, would be able to raise a celebrity kid pretty well.
Liz Kelly: See, I'm not alone. Love Blythe Danner, btw.
Angelina's mother: Wasn't Angelina's mother near death from cancer when Angelina snubbed Ryan Seacrest at the Globes? Maybe Angie really just didn't feel up to all the blather because she had genuinely serious issues to deal with just then.
Liz Kelly: She was, though if she wasn't up to the blather she could have stayed home or -- if she wanted to be there from Brad -- skipped the red carpet portion.
Kathy Griffin: I can't listen to it at work, but I think this is her blurb about Paltrow.
Liz Kelly: I don't have time to listen right now, so I'll take your word for it.
30 Hours?: I think Diddy got the big hand and the little hand confused, if you know what I mean...
Liz Kelly: That may explain it.
"National Treasure" again: Nope, it was Nicolas Cage in the seersucker suit ... hence the "doofy" outfit.
Liz Kelly: Seersucker doofy? Nae! It's so apple pie Americana cute. But maybe not on Nicolas Cage, eh?
Atlanta: Did you hear this story on Restless Leg Syndrome on NPR this morning? If you can bear the spring fund drive in between stories, here's the link.
Liz Kelly: I missed that. Thanks for passing along. Here's a story I wrote back in 2005 about my experiences with RLS.
It's no joke, though I think the big pharmas may be overdoing the advertising a little. Still, I guess it can't hurt to bring awareness to the condition. Me, I'm quite happy on my nightly dose of hydrocodone. Sleep like a baby. Actually, more like a log.
Weingarten likes to say that if alien visitors had only his chat archive to go on, they'd think RLS was the single biggest problem facing humanity on planet earth.
Liz Kelly: Time to talk "Lost!"
"Lost" inside the Pearl: I agree that last night's episode didn't much to advance the story, but one thing that bothered me last night is: how did Locke, Sayid and crew did not find the tunnel that Benry and Juliet used to get to the Pearl? Is there some kind of secret door/tunnel that connects all the Dharma stations?
washingtonpost.com: Lost Dueling Analyses: Death to Poochie(s) (washingtonpost.com, March 29)
Liz Kelly: Hmm, ya know, I had the impression that Ben and Juliet got into the pearl via the shaft, but I think you're right. Paolo would almost certainly have left it open to go down there and they would've instantly been alerted if they'd found it open. So, ya, they must've entered another way.
Still, why did Ben/Juliet need to go to the Pearl at all? At least according to these maps, it's pretty far from the Others' compound and I think we all knew that Ben had designs on Jack's surgery skills for quite a while. Not to mention that they could've had that conversation anywhere.
College Park, Md.: Why did Ben and Juliet go all the way out to the Pearl station just to look at "Shepherd"? I mean, don't they have their own TVs in their fake suburbia?
Liz Kelly: You'd think. And why was Ben wearing a costume from "Planet of the Apes"?
They do have their own TVs in fake suburbia, but maybe they only get Dish Network (complete with the Sports package upgrade so they can watch Red Sox games).
Re: "Lost": I thought last night's episode was pretty interesting. I kept thinking they weren't dead, and now I think that they will "rise" from the dead in a future episode, which will continue the great mystique of the island in the "losties" eyes. Isn't the show supposed to have a quasi-religious twist to it? Perhaps the timing, with Easter almost upon us, is more than coincidental.
Liz Kelly: That's a very shrewd observation. Thanks for sharing. And, as I noted in today's analysis, next week's episode is titled "Left Behind" -- which just can't be coincidental.
"Lost" question: Haven't done the really detailed legwork, but do you think Nikki/Paulo are the two skeletons Jack found in the cavern in Season 1? Even if they aren't, isn't that a very strong parallel, especially given Locke's comment about nothing staying buried?
Liz Kelly: Well, that would be an interesting twist.
College Park, Md.: One more thing about "Lost" -- the ads said someone was going to die, but no one died! Well, except I guess they did get buried alive ... for now.
Liz Kelly: The ads also made it look like Sun was malevolently hitting someone and, as we now know, she was only slugging Sawyer for orchestrating her kidnapping last season.
How many other people have punched Sawyer? Poor guy.
Falls Church, Va.: I'm sending this early since I won't be able to join in. I thoroughly enjoyed last nights episode of "Lost" -- it was a nice departure from the usual, and very well done. I thought it was an homage to the old "Twilight Zone"/Alfred Hitchcock shows. They did a great job of going back to previous shows and looking at it from an "outsiders" point of view. I hope they do more creative shows like this one. Are you getting similar comments from others?
Liz Kelly: Yes, I am, which is disturbing to me because I thought the episode was pretty weak. I think I'm just missing the golden age of season one and two. So far, as my "Lost" co-blogger Jen Chaney has observed, season three isn't inspiring the same kind of emotional attachment as the previous years.
Speaking of Jane Pratt: My Jane subscriptions lapsed for a few months and when I got the new one, there was some dude named Brandon writing the letter from the editor (yes, I now know Brandon is a chick). What happened to Pratt? Oh, and was it on this chat that we were talking about who would play Valerie Plame in a movie? I now am voting for the hot mom/coach's wife on "Friday Night Lights."
Liz Kelly: I believe Jane was bought out and Pratt was ousted. The mag's not the same.
-- Liz (long-time Jane and Sassy reader)
New York: Have you heard of this show "Shooting Sizemore" about Tom Sizemore? I was so disappointed to see it was a reality show and not a game show.
Liz Kelly: Hahahaha.
Ya. And it's a pretty boring reality show at that.
I'm all about "Intervention" lately.
New York: I've lived in London for several years, and you won't want to hear this, but the Brits are better. They are more sensible and more logical and more geared to enjoying life and family rather than professional ambition. Someone walks into a school and shoots kids in the U.K. -- the next day guns are banned. That never happens here. They also are intelligent and sensible in that any time an American affects an accent like Gwyneth and Madonna they know it's rubbish.
Liz Kelly: Ladies and gentlemen, Gwyneth Paltrow.
People we love: I love Sandra Bullock. And yes, Gwyneth is an overprivileged, oversheltered snob (not to be overcritical myself). She's not a snob because she's "literate" or uses big words; it has more to do with social class and contempt for a certain kind of person -- that is, anybody who's not enlightened and worldly like she is. Ugh.
Liz, a question. You love Drew. Do you love her gal pal Cameron Diaz? For some reason I've never felt as much affection for Cam...
Liz Kelly: No, I'm not a big Cameron fan, either. Drew's got an indie sensibility about her that Cameron lacks.
True story: Sandra Bullock and I went to the same high school in Arlington. Not at the same time, though her sister was still there when I was in 1st grade. So close, but yet so far.
Creston, Va.: Best line was Sawyer's "what, is there a Forensics Hatch I don't know about?"
Liz Kelly: Yes, that rocked.
Wishes: Liz, if you could have an hour, alone, one-on-one to interview any celebrity, who would it be?
Liz Kelly: Oh man -- just one? I don't know if I could confine myself to one -- there are so many different one for so many different reasons.
Right now I'd have to say Matt Groening, because I'm really looking forward to the "Simpsons" movie and who wouldn't want to spend an hour with a guy who has had the longest-running show in series television?
Anonymous: Spooky! The entire layout of the front page of The Post just changed from like five minutes ago. Now I have to look around to find the link to this chat.
washingtonpost.com: Look for a chat at 1 p.m. tomorrow Paul Compton on washingtonpost.com's new-look homepage.
Liz Kelly: Oooh, cool. I will have to take a peek.
I really like the scrolling feature box (and the Celebritology promo therein).
I need to know...: Did you and/or Jen coin the phrase "Poochies" for the two new forgettable characters (see I don't even remember their names), or did it come from somewhere else? I just want to make sure I give props to the right person when I reuse.
Liz Kelly: Jen gets all credit for the first Poochie reference.
Silver Spring, Md.: Eh, Jane magazine had been declining for a while. And the redesign is absolutely hideous. (I can't remember if that was pre- or post- ouster of editor Jane.) I let my subscription lapse, and I ain't lookin' back.
Liz Kelly: I let my subscription lapse, but the mag keeps coming... like some kind of wraith that won't leave me be.
Re: "Left Behind": "The Simpsons" also did an episode about this concept. Is there any chance that we may be inundated with "Simpsons" references in next week's episode?
Liz Kelly: Yes, Kate's flashback will primarily unfold in Moe's Tavern.
Re: Drew: So hippy, dippy, "love is everywhere" Drew Barrymore had a "phase," huh? Who would've thunk? . But, really, Jane Pratt. Talk about someone who just drips "I'm so hip"-ness from every pore. Drewy, baby -- if you're gonna' go experimenting, please, please, please, choose a less unctuous life-form.
Liz Kelly: True. Jane can go stand with Gwyneth.
College Park, Md.: Another "Lost" comment -- was it that hard to understand that Nikki said "paralyzed"? That was my first thought, and then when she fell it seemed pretty obvious.
Liz Kelly: Me, I thought she said "parasite," so I guess you're asking the wrong person.
Someone in the blog has brought up the fact that Damon Lindelof has described Nikki and Paolo as "iconic characters" in the Lost story. Does this mean that we will indeed see them again?
Prince George County, Md.: So, tell me -- why was Billy Dee so fabulous? You could drag someone off the Mall and get more out of that has-been.
Liz Kelly: I have to end the show to drive to this person's house and force him/her to watch "Empire Strikes Back" and "Lady Sings the Blues."
Talk to you here next week and, of course, every day in the blog.
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