Celebritology Live

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Liz Kelly
washingtonpost.com Celebrity Blogger
Thursday, April 26, 2007; 2:00 PM

When stars shave their heads, couch-jump, commit a fashion faux pas and commit random acts of tomfoolery, washingtonpost.com Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly shares the buzz, offers perspective and provides crucial links to juicy alternate news sources and, of course, takes your reaction in her daily blog.

Now join Liz each Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), "Lost," and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

A transcript follows.

Before she started blogging about celebrities, Liz ran washingtonpost.com's Live Online section, where she enjoyed talking to really interesting people -- including some Post reporters -- on the phone. She produces both Carolyn Hax's advice discussion and Gene Weingarten's Chatological Humor.

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Liz Kelly: Welcome back to Celebritology Live, also known as "the show that is not Gene Weingarten's chat." Here we dispense with talk of poop in favor of dirt dishing, though VPL sightings transition seamlessly (hehe) to this beat, so consider any and all discussion of celebrities and their underpants totally on the table.
Speaking of underpants, earlier this week I ran a headline about Anderson Cooper's alleged propensity for wearing boxer shorts when he showers. Interesting in and of itself, yes, but I was more entertained by the ensuing discussion in the comments thread about Cooper's outing as a never-nude. Consider that a friendly PSA for reading the comments threads -- often the real action unfolds there.
Another PSA: Anyone who is a "foot in mouth disease" enthusiast might want to tune in to Friday morning's "View." A pre-taped interview with Alec Baldwin will air. Between Baldwin and the soon-to-be-ex-Viewster Rosie O'Donnell, we're totally due for some cringe-inducing soundbytes.
What else? Drew Barrymore is People's surprising "Most Beautiful Person" choice. Let me say that I am a huge fan of Drew Barrymore. I have a massive girl crush on her and can only admire the way she's translated her loopy brand of comedy into a career -- but Drew, baby, what have you done for me lately? "Music and Lyrics" was a bit of a dud and this just seems like so much salt in the wound for recent ex Fabrizio Moretti.
Ahh, "Music and Lyrics," yes -- that reminds me of this morning's favorite story: Hugh Grant was arrested for lobbing a container of baked beans at a pesky paparazzo (not, as some assumed, for a flatulance attack)... and there are pictures.
An informal survey -- Britney's new bod -- hot or not? And do you think she comes by it naturally?

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Hairy Situation: What's up with Phil Spector's hair? His current do kinda makes me think about Herman's Hermits.

Liz Kelly: It's reminiscent of a Dorothy Hammill 'do I had back in the late '70s. I suppose this is meant to be his stab at looking a bit more conservative and make a good impression on the jury. And really, compared to his previous look, he's downright plain.
When paired with the long-jacketed pantsuit and purple shirt he's wearing in this photo I keep waiting for him to try to run for president on the Democratic ticket.

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Anonymous: Am I only one who is sooo sick of Rosie and Trump ? -- both obnoxious bores ... I hope you don't print this because I don't think I can stand reading anymore about them -- even in response to my comment. Thanks.

Liz Kelly: Sorry, I couldn't resist. No prohibition on Rosie chatting until she's actually gone from the view -- which won't be till sometime in June.
I think Joy Behar had it half right yesterday when Rosie made her announcement. She said Trump was on a ledge somewhere wondering how he would promote "The Apprentice" now that Rosie would be gone from "The View."
Hopefully Rosie will continue to share her unique brand of brash forthrightness via her blog.

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My View:: ABC lost out by not giving Rosie a 1-year deal because she has brought that show out of the pit and with her controversial discussions, as made all Americans think really hard about what's going on in our world. While I may not agree with everything she says, I have enjoyed The View more in the last nine months than ever before ... once she's gone, I'll be changing the channel ... sorry Barbara, Joy and Elisabeth.

As Rosie says every day ... PEACE OUT!

Liz Kelly: Well, we have to assume that Rosie's characterization of why she's leaving is the absolute truth. I don't doubt that the failed contract negotiation (one year vs. three years) was the agreed upon public face for this split, but there is an awful lot of buzz about Rosie's crude performance at last week's Matrix Awards lunch being the straw that broke the camel's back. Here's an account from the New York Post.
It will be interesting to see how "The View" recovers from this shake-up, though. They still haven't permanently filled Star Jones Reynold's spot and -- outrageous or not -- Rosie brought a decided increase in eyeballs to the show.

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Brit-Brit: It looks like Britney had the fat sucked out of her belly, then faux tanned it. It doesn't look anything like the pre-babies belly, but then, realistically, should it? The tautness is gone. Bye-bye Brit-Brit!

Liz Kelly: Really? I think she actually looks pretty toned. I'm just surprised that she was able to transform herself so quickly.

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Port-of-Spain, Trinidad: Dear Liz,

I read today that Kate Middleton's mother used the word "toilet" instead of "bathroom" and that was one of the things that Prince William's friends couldn't abide. I was wondering what word you would use? And what about "WC" or "Loo". I thought these were also allowed in Britain.

I wonder what word the Queen uses?

Liz Kelly: What word do I use? Well, in public I go with the non-controversial "rest room" (Honestly, my bladder isn't exploding. I just need a little rest.) At home, I don't tend to verbalize any words for the room, but tend to broadcast the act instead. As in, "Can we pause this? I really have to pee." Classy, I know. I don't think QE2 would approve, but then I'm not in any danger of spending time in her presence.
What does the queen use? "Throne Room," obviously.

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Columbia, Md.: Do you know why Tobey Maguire won't go on David Lettermen any longer?

Liz Kelly: Good question.
Here's a brief account of David Letterman's announcement that Tobey wouldn't be coming on the show ever again.
Still waiting on the details. Was he a no show or was he asked to skip it? Anyone out there heard any more info? Any incognito Worldwide Pants employees that care to send in an anonymous tip?

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Arlington, Va.: They discussed Kate Middleton's mother's comment on "The Now Show" (BBC topical comedy radio show/podcast) last week. Evidently posh people say "loo", while the middle-class say "toilet."

Americans say bathroom, I've never heard a British person say it.

Liz Kelly: Thanks for helping to keep this an educational discussion.

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Washington, D.C.: "What's up with Phil Spector's hair?"

That wig is straight out of Mr. Furley from the "Three's Company" prop department. Seriously, in L.A. doesn't that hair constitute a more punishable crime than murder?

Liz Kelly: I think the fashion police gave up on Spector long ago.

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Reston, Va.: Rosie's explanation for the deal falling through makes no sense. So ABC wanted Rosie for three years, but preferred to have her for none rather than just one? Nah, I don't buy it.

Perhaps Bar was tired of the bickering and crotch grabbing. Or Rosie is angling at getting her own show

Still, I don't care.

Liz Kelly: Barbara went out of her way to say she was in no way involved with Ro's contract negotiation and even went so far as to apologize for dragging Rosie out of semi-retirement and on the air in the first place.
I'm not buying it, tho. This woman is the executive producer. Nothing happens on this show without her blessing.
Still, I don't care, either.

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Washington, D.C.: Good thing you're already married. Not even having a clue about what "hit for the cycle" means would be a deal-breaker...

Liz Kelly: Right you are. I doubt Mr. Liz could define "hit for the cycle", either. He tends to blanch when he hears the word "cycle" anyway.

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Brit's new bod:: Have you see all those shows on TV about surgeries!

I think she had a lot of help from the knife.

Liz Kelly: Maybe I'm naive, but I still think there's a noticeable difference between surgery and hard work.
Britney's body doesn't seem to be displaying any of the tell-tale sags, ripples or oddities that we've seen on, oh, say... Tara Reid.
Maybe she did have a procedure or two, but she seems to be backstopping with some major exercise regimen.

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Richmond, Va.: Am I the only one in the world that still thinks Tobey and Kirsten were hideous choices for Spiderman? I saw the first one out of Spidey duty, but haven't seen the second one.

Liz Kelly: Ya. Remember a few months back when I wrote that piece about stars we love to hate? My target that day was Diane Keaton -- who was, at the time, everywhere because of that hideous chick flick she was co-starring in with Mandy Moore. But I could've easily written the piece about Kirsten Dunst who -- despite being cute and making some interesting career choices in the past -- is about as appealing as a dentist's drill. There's just something absolutely annoying about her. When watching "Marie Antoinette" I was actually rooting for her decapitation (yes, I'll share that with my therapist).

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RE: Drew Barrymore: Let me say, that this is weird because I had a dream about Drew Barrymore last night. It was a nice dream. Though I maintained my marital vows even in slumber.

Liz Kelly: Okay, thanks for sharing. Consider yourself absolved and plan on doing something romantic for your sig. other tonight. A KFC takeout bucket does not count.

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Tyson's: RE: "I read today that Kate Middleton's mother used the word "toilet" instead of "bathroom" and that was one of the things that Prince William's friends couldn't abide."

I don't buy that ...

"Toilet" is a pretty common reference in the U.K. -- in my travels there at first I found it a little off putting that the Brits referred to it that way both in speech in in signs

Liz Kelly: More on this breaking controversy...

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Brooklyn, N.Y.: Hey Liz! You up for toilet-papering Sheryl Crow's house this weekend?

Liz Kelly: Dude. Only if we're using Seventh Generation TP and later offer to remove said TP and deliver to a recycling center.
Sorry, I'm about as green as they come.
BTW, Sheryl now says she was only "joking when she suggested we all use only one square of toilet paper per bathroom visit.

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Boxer Briefs: I don't get it -- if he showers in his boxer briefs at the gym, doesn't he have to remove the wet briefs before he puts on a dry pair when he gets dressed? Couldn't he be snapped changing OUT of the wet underoos?

Liz Kelly: You've discovered the weakness in his system. What he needs to do is coat his mid-section in some kind of opaque, waterproof latex -- a second skin, if you will.

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Kirsten Dunst: I think it's because she's always, ALWAYS smirking. She makes me think of all those nasty, "popular" girls back in junior high.

Liz Kelly: Yes. She is a bit of a smirkster.
I just realized that my prime reason for disliking may well be her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal (now ended). We'll see how long my admiration for Reese Witherspoon holds up.
Anyone arrived at a good name for those two yet? Witherhaal? Gyllenspoon?

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Washington, D.C.: I want to pitch a show idea to Fox. It's a companion show to Idol, working title: Second Banana.

Judges could be Dunkelman, Andrew Ridgely, John Oates, Art Garfunkel, Ike Turner ... I bet they're all available and cheap.

Liz Kelly: Mr. Liz has mentioned a concept in the past which would have John Oates releasing a solo album called "Just Oates."
Does Ike Turner really fit in with this group, though? The rest are so benign.

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Vegas Baby!: Liz -- you need to change your intro! Gene is no longer on hiatus, and I am SO thankful.

I was really jonesing ...

When does the Lost talk get started?

Liz Kelly: Thanks -- we will update. Still getting used to Gene's presence in my life again. It's an adjustment.
We'll start talking Lost in about 10 minutes... at 2:45.

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Re: Brit's fab abs: Come on folks, she's in Hollywood-Land ... she can go to the gym for hours every day, have a nutritionist make/feed her the best, healthiest food or go to Dr. 90210 and have it sucked out. I'm not a Brit hater but not a fan either. As a 25-year-old mother of two who prefers getting back in the limelight as opposed to raising her kids ... I'm not surprised to see the more "fit Brit" because she could not possibly sell out venues with flabby abs.

(I just wish I had one nth of her $$ so I could run to Dr 90210 myself! so jealous am I!)

Liz Kelly: Posting as food for thought.

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Brit bod: I think we're all bypassing the most obvious explanation -- I don't think that's her. Even the chin is wrong.

Liz Kelly: Noooooooo. It's def. her.

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Drew Barrymore? Really??: I mean she's okay ... but her voice really just throws me off. It's so creepy ... but Kate Hudson did a great rendition of her with Will Ferrell during his James Lipton shtick.

Plus, I can never tell if she's good looking or not. Oh and I thought she was dreadful in Donnie Darko ... one of my favorite movies. Her angst just didn't fit in.

Liz Kelly: Ya, Drew didn't really fit in to "Donnie Darko," but I can't begrudge her presence there since the movie was a product of her production company and without her interest we may never have seen the masterpiece that is "Donnie Darko."
I've recently been watching "Battlestar Galactica" on DVD -- I'm a late bloomer, okay, and I'm still having a hard time separating Mary McDonnell from her fabulous turn as Donnie's mother. I keep adlibbing lines about Sparkle Motion into the show.

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Green Planet: "Sorry, I'm about as green as they come."

Dude -- you work for a newspaper. Do you realize how many dead trees have your name on it!

Liz Kelly: Celebritology is online only, thankyouverymuch. Not that I don't love the dead-tree edition, but we have issues (oooh, so punny).

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The Loo: I don't think the Queen would refer to the room at all. I think she would merely murmur "excuse me" as she's getting up (all the toadies would leap up at the same time) and toddle off.

Or, more likely yet, the royals have used genetic selection to increase the size of their bladders and colons over the generations, (it makes sense -- no woman who has to leave the ribbon-cutting ceremony to pee could ever marry the prince, or therefore, mother any future royals) and they never EVER have to even THINK about bathrooms/toilets/water closets, except in their own private apartments, townhouses, Balmorals ...

Liz Kelly: Okay, you've given this a little too much thought.

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New York, N.Y.: I lived in London for four years and loo is the accepted term for bathroom. If you say bathroom, they ask if you're going to take a bath and laugh at you.

I thought at first that it might be somewhat crass, but was informed that even the Queen says "loo."

Liz Kelly: A voice of authority.

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RE: Letterman: I heard it was because Tobey wouldn't flash him on his birthday.

How's that for a tie-in with my girl Barrymore?

Liz Kelly: Ba da bing. Nice.

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Washington, D.C.: "Does Ike Turner really fit in with this group, though? The rest are so benign."

Someone needs to slap the others around on the bus.

Liz Kelly: True. He could provide the "Rosie Factor."
Tony Kornheiser today suggested that Sanjaya would make a good replacement for Rosie on "The View."
Tomorrow's Friday List will be "View"-centric. That's all I'm permitted to say.

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Rosie's Mouth: I agree that the Matrix Awards performance brought the situation to a head. In the post-Imus wave of airwave cleansing, she was just getting to be too big a liability.

Liz Kelly: You make sense here, but I'm fixating on "airwave cleansing" and thinking about Sheryl Crow's one square of TP. Luckily, the "Lost" portion of this chat will kick in soon to save me from the loo/toilet/bathroom/restroom humor.

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Washington:

Re: Second Banana.

There's a dream sequence in a Simpsons episode where Lisa is in a band with Art Garfunkel, Jim Messina and John Oates. They play a song called "Born to Runner Up."

Liz Kelly: Nice. Leave it to the Simpsons to have already hit upon this concept.

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Washington, D.C.: THIS is how I waste an hour of my work day? Reading about whether Brits say loo? I love my job.

Liz Kelly: Imagine my pride.

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RE: Royal Throne: The bigger question about the Kate Middleton gaffe is, "Can the toilet/loo/lavatory/bog/netty/Blair Chair in question flush 41 rubber tubes, 31 synthetic sponges, 16 cloth napkins disappear or up to 29 golf balls in one flush without clogging, like our American crappers can?"

American Standard

Liz Kelly: The mind reels.

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Annandale, Va.: Anderson Cooper could use a pair of Dr. Dorian-approved Shower Shorts: "For The Man Who Has Nothing to Hide, Yet Still Wants To".

Shower Shorts

Liz Kelly: Oooh, thanks!

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Britney, Can You Hear, ME.: Surgery or not, she's still no Ann-Margaret con fagioli.

Liz Kelly: To understand this seemingly non-sensical comment, please see the comments section of today's Morning Mix.

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Anonymous: Why don't you like Jake Gyllenhaal?

I know it's early but can we discuss Lost now? I liked your (or Jen's) theory that Juliet was lying to both Sun and Ben to get herself off the island. Although I'm not sure that Ben would be convinced with just one "success." Any more thoughts on McPatchy being alive?

I think Naomi's statement at the end means there was a conspiracy to cover up the crash, it cannot be purgatory (I hope)!!

Liz Kelly: I don't dislike Jake Gyllenhaal. Quite the opposite, in fact.
And, yes, let's talk Lost...
To clarify my theory from today's analysis -- I know the Others have had no problem conceiving on the island, but they haven't been able to carry babies to full term. My theory is that Juliet knows Sun's baby was conceived off island and, therefore, will likely carry to term with as few complications as Claire. However, Juliet will lead Ben to believe that this is the first island-conceived baby carried to term, thereby completing her work for him.
And as Jen said in the analysis, Lindelof/Cuse have already nixed the idea of the island as purgatory.

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Washington, D.C.: Hey Liz! Did you watch Idol last night? I did and I don't know what I think. On the one hand, I'm an easy mark. They made me cry. But on the other ... I don't know. Something was off.

Liz Kelly: I only watched the last few minutes. I saw Annie Lennox cheesing out, the contestants dressed in white outfits (and charity or not, I still wanted to smack that white cap off Phil Stacy's head) and a pre-taped bit with Bono. I understand lots of money was raised, so good for them.
I'm not so sure, though, that the contestants were spared a week of elimination for charitable reasons, though. One theory is that either Melinda or Jordin were on the chopping block and producers didn't want to lose either.

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Queen's English: I think I read somewhere that the Queen says, "We are going to hit the head."

Liz Kelly: No, no, you're thinking of "off with her head" which was a reference to one British monarch's desire to remove Queen Victoria's outhouse from Balmoral.

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Lost (and Battlestar Galactica): My question for the Lost fan o'philes ...

Does the 'I hate you' from Juliette lessen your hatred of her? (or at least disgust?) Don't get me wrong, I think she is an excellent character, and is brilliantly acted but still ...

I still maintain that Jack knows of Juliette's duplicity or is it triplicity now (at the very least he knows she's not altruistic) and that he's got a plan?

Then we found flight 815 spiel by the new chick (Naomi is it?) totally a cover up by Dharma, etc.

Ahh and the Battlestar Galactica shout out (BSG) -- Can you BELIEVE we have to wait till January 2008 for the series to start? I know we get the miniseries in the fall but geez!

Oh yeah and Welcome to the fold Liz!

Liz Kelly: You make a good point -- the "I hate you" for Ben didn't do much to mitigate my distrust/dislike of Juliet. In the past few weeks producers worked hard to paint her as malevolent and if that lame aside was meant to suddenly engender sympathy for her, well, it ain't working.
I don't know that Jack has a plan. He took a back seat in this week's show, only appearing at the beginning to quiz Sun about her pregnancy (shoot, that's another hard-to-believe moment: Would Sun really be tending her vegetable garden solo again considering it was the scene of her mugging last fall?).
Totally digging the BSG. I love discovering a good show with a phat DVD back catalog. Mr. Liz and I expect at least a couple of months of entertainment from this.

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Re: The Loo: I worked in the U.K. for a while, and Prince Phillip once toured the company where I worked. One of the Men's bathrooms was closed to employees that day, in case the Prince needed a "comfort break."

Liz Kelly: And you're sure he wasn't referring to Janis Joplin's choice bev, Southern Comfort?

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Daytime TV: How come everyone here knows so much about The View? Isn't it on during the daytime? Don't you people have JOBS?

Liz Kelly: Well....?

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Lost Land: It's already been posted in the Blog, but what are your thoughts on Kate being preggers by Sawyer? That was my first thought after learning that men have super-human sperm on the island. And how long until SHE figures out what we all already know? Also trying to think of anybody else on the island that has been "getting busy" and so far I can't think of anybody that we've seen. How is that possible? Is that why they're all so angry and quick to 'get the guns' and hunt each other? Where's the love?

Liz Kelly: Well, getting pregnant is actually a pretty difficult feat to pull off and she and Sawyer have only done the deed twice. Still, if men are as potent as Juliet contends, then I guess anything's possible.
The only other couple that could possibly be getting it on are Rose and Bernard. That could make for an interesting plot twist.

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Washington, D.C.: "Liz Kelly: Okay, you've given this a little too much thought."

I thought this was the one chat where we could be free of that kind of judginess. Liz, you've let me down. Disappointed me. Brought a cold gust of reality to my favorite refuge.

Harsh, dude.

Liz Kelly: Awww, I didn't mean to! Honestly, we are all free here to spread our peacock wings and shine in the sun, as Drew would say.

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Brooklyn, N.Y.: So when you start on Lost, does that mean you will only answer Lost comments?

Because I've never seen it. If you talk only about Lost, I'm Lost and you've lost me.

Liz Kelly: Nope. We continue to talk about other topics, too. I just save any Lost discussion for the last portion of the show to avoid revealing any spoilers to folks who may not have watched yet.

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Brooklyn, N.Y.: Q: "How come everyone here knows so much about The View?"

A: A lot of us have had stints of unemployment at one time or another. And when you do. You do The View. It's an out-of-work rite of passage.

Liz Kelly: We'll add that to the FAQ.

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Anonymous: Why do people always whine about lost trees when they talk about things made from paper? They grow them on purpose just to make paper. They don't exactly remove them from Central Park or something. sheesh.

Like saying cows are endangered because people eat so many burgers.

Liz Kelly: Hi, my name is Liz and if it were not already 3 p.m., I would descend on you like a ton of veggie burger bricks for the above statement.
I'd argue that it's neither the trees nor the cows that are endangered as our result of farming both -- it's us.
But, since time is short, namaste. Have a great rest of the day!
See everyone here next Thursday and stay tuned for tomorrow's "View"-based Friday list.

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Lost-ville: Hello! Us Lost-ies at work have an idea about parachute lady and Mikihal. The parachutist was trying out different languages to see which one the Losties don't know so she could communicate with the others in front of them. We think she's there to help the others get back in communication with the outside world. Which could also mean that she was just lying about the plane being found to mess with them!

Your thoughts?

Liz Kelly: That is actually a fabulous theory. The only thing it doesn't take into account, tho, is Naomi's (the parachutist's) photo of Desmond and Penny and her whispered "Desmond" when the Losties first found her.

Liz Kelly: Oops, forgot to post this...

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Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.


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