The Reliable Source

Reliable Source columnists Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts were online Wednesday, May 30, at Noon ET to discuss your favorite gossip, what you think about their recent columns or who you want to see them writing about in future ones.

In today's Reliable Source, Laura Bush plugs the new "Nancy Drew" movie, Washington Life tells you exactly how much money those people who have more money than you have, two of Hillary Clinton's key campaign aides marry each other, and professional athletes were all over town this weekend.

Over the past week we saw punches flying all over D.C. -- Beckel got a shiner in a dustup over his Democratic bumperstickers and G'town salon owners battled tooth and nail with the neighbors. Mary Cheney finally had that baby. A happy ending to that crazy Artomatic art-napping saga. And whenever there's a D.C. scandal, the Pentagon City Ritz-Carlton is sure to have played a key role.

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Reliable Source Columns

A transcript follows.

A transcript follows.

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Amy Argetsinger: Good morning everyone. Looking forward to your questions. Oh, and to the chatter I insulted last week? Sorry, thought you were someone I knew.

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Reston, Va.: Submitting early, as our office is celebrating summer with lunch out.

Okay, so I must be the last red-blooded female to watch Casino Royale, right? Man, all I can say about Daniel Craig is ... NICE.

Roxanne Roberts: Ditto----although Amy has a bigger crush than I do.

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Kensington, Md: Wow! While I was waiting for coffee this morning, I took a quick glance at The Reliable Source and thought, "I wonder what Julia Roberts is doing in town?" Then I took a closer look and, well, the family resemblance between niece and aunt is uncanny. Any word on whether or not the kid can actually act, or is she parlaying her aunt's looks and toothy smile into a paycheck?

washingtonpost.com: Emma Roberts

Amy Argetsinger: Who knows? I can never tell whether Julia Roberts can actually act or if she's just parlaying her brother Eric Roberts's looks and toothy smile into a paycheck. Anyone see "Closer"? Terrible movie, and unlike co-star Clive Owen she didn't really have the chops to elevate the bad dialogue, but somehow you just can't stop watching her. They are one photogenic family.

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Pentagon City, Va.: Good afternoon ladies! I saw Steve Carell outside some trailers along the National Mall on Friday. Any idea what film he's shooting? There were also a lot of guys dressed up in SWAT team gear. Thanks!

Amy Argetsinger: Oh, okay, good afternoon, I guess. Yes, for those of you who missed Korin Miller's Names and Faces column on Saturday (what, you didn't spend the Memorial Day weekend reading the paper?), Steve Carell was here shooting the movie version of the old TV series "Get Smart." He and Anne Hathaway were all over the Mall and the Hill. Just one day of shooting, though.

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Maryland: How close is Lindsay Lohan to jumping the shark -- meaning is she now so known for her juvie behavior and problems that it doesn't matter if she gives a knockout performance as Ophelia at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre, because audience members will just turn to each other and mutter (in English accents, of course) "I heard she had to have her nose reconstructed because of her coke use?"

Roxanne Roberts: Close, because she's now a "problem child" from a business standpoint. Producers have already complained about her late arrivals and "sick" days, which cost $$$$$$ during production. She's getting to the point that she won't be insurable, or will have to pay millions of her own money to work on a set. She's a good actress, but not so great that another cute 20-something couldn't play her roles. Too bad there are no adults around to keep her under control---mom and dad certainly aren't doing the job.

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washingtonpost.com: NAMES AND FACES

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Woodbridge, Va.: Hollywood is just filled with fools. How Lindsay Lohan continues to get acting jobs when she has no acting ability whatsoever is beyond me.

Roxanne Roberts: She was good in "Mean Girls."

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Leesburg, Va.: I was at UVA's graduation (excuse me, FINALS) on May 20th, and John Grisham spoke. When he processed down the lawn with President John Casteen, there were two guys who were clearly security. Why does Grisham need this kind of protection? I mean, isn't he just a writer of great books and a nice guy?

Amy Argetsinger: He's also a very, very, very rich man who is rather well known. Probably makes him a target for all kinds of weirdness.

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Arlington, Va.: If my boss asks to meet me for a drink at the Pentagon City Ritz Carlton, what should I say?

Amy Argetsinger: Oh, that's a tricky one.

It's your boss, so you can't say no. And he'd probably be weirded out if you bring your lawyer. Maybe you should just bring your own microcassette recorder and keep the conversation light and cryptic. You know, "Our cousins from New York say the weather is fair" and "the gray dove flies at dawn, wink wink."

When in doubt, ask your agency contact for advice.

And whatever you do, don't go to his room.

Roxanne Roberts: Sigh, and say the terms of your parole don't allow you in Virginia for 10 years.

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Daniel Craig ...: Make sure to check him out with Nicole Kidman in The Golden Compass this fall -- having read the books, the moment I saw that the two of them were being cast for the roles I knew that the movie has to be great. (Of course who knows, I may eat my words come December, but any glimpse of Craig, is better than nothing)

Amy Argetsinger: How strange -- I didn't realize the two of them had two movies together coming out this year. They're also in "The Invasion," which you may remember as "The Visiting" when it was being filmed here for like, 15 weeks it seemed in fall of '05. We had a million people calling in every day with sightings of Nicole Kidman, but somehow no one ever noticed him, other than that one time someone reported seeing her walk down the street "with a short guy." Of course, he had only just been cast as Bond and no one recognized him.

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New York, N.Y.: I've never actually seen the Lohan in anything except gossip news. All I hear about is how she parties all the time and somehow this is a big concern to people who've never met her.

But I always see that she has landed one role or another, and often very respectable sounding gigs. How does she do it?

Roxanne Roberts: Like I said, I think she's a good actress---funny, natural, cute----and that worked very well in teen roles. But her family imploded, and her personal life veered out of control. She made terrible choices, and part of me feels sorry for her because she obviously doesn't have the maturity or emotional skills to cope.

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Washington, D.C.: You happen to see the guy on TV who Bush announced as the next president of the World Bank? What is the deal with his mustache? Very Boogie Nights.

Amy Argetsinger: Robert Zoellick -- now that is one smooth 'stache. I'm thinking he could be a fine contender in the 2007 Whiskerino contest (link to follow). Could it be that we're on the cusp of a '70s-style renaissance for men's facial hair? Who better to lead the way than the leader of the World Bank?

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washingtonpost.com: Whiskerino

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New York, N.Y.: I recently heard Dennis Kucinich do his impression of Donald Duck reading the Gettysburg Address on "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" on NPR. I remember that Tony Williams used to do an imitation of a duck also. Do you know other politicians who do animal or cartoon character impressions?

Roxanne Roberts: Dennis was great, wasn't he? It takes a brave politician to imitate a cartoon character, which is why they are so rare. Can't think of others off the top of my head. Anyone else?

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New York, N.Y.: You've convinced me. I'm now officially a proud passenger on the Lindsay Lohan bandwagon.

Roxanne Roberts: Whoo-hoo! Let's have a drink to celebrate!

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washingtonpost.com: Robert Zoellick

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Scott Stapp: What's the latest with this guy who used to present himself as very spiritual and always doing the right thing? He seems to have some anger issues -- and throwing a bottle at your wife is not an insignificant thing.

Amy Argetsinger: Hey, thanks -- I had missed that latest episode. The wife of the former frontman for Creed called 911 in Boca Raton and said he threw a bottle at her; police arrested him and seized a bunch of his guns.

Frankly, he's been tailspinning away from the whole spiritual thing for a while now. Remember that sex tape of him and Kid Rock with a couple of women? And that weird episode in Baltimore a year or so ago where he got all belligerant and tried to pick a fight with the guys from 311? (If I recall correctly, he walked up to them and said "311, I am ready to fight you.")

Whoa. I am suddenly dazed by my own body of knowledge about Scott Stapp.

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World Bank Cafeteria: RizaWitz still together?

Roxanne Roberts: No word that they've split, although I'm guessing someone is sleeping on the couch these days----I'd be mad as hell if my boyfriend told the world I was angry and uncontrolable and blamed me for the fact he lost his job.

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Arlington, Va. : Hey gals. I just buttonholed one my employees into a drink at the Pentagon City Ritz Carlton! It's good to be the boss. Booyah!

Amy Argetsinger: Careful -- she's probably wearing a wire. Either that, or she might not be as much into biting as you think.

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Grisham: Um, he might be a nice guy, but his books are Crap of the highest ordure.

Roxanne Roberts: BESTSELLING Crap, so what do we know?

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Classic Rock: So, Pete Townshend said that he's tired of people referring to the Police as a "classic rock" group -- that the phrase only applies to his band and the Rolling Stones. He said the Police are just a "punk band." What's up with that comment? Is there some long-standing feud between Townshend and Sting we don't know about? Or is he just a bitter old guy?

Amy Argetsinger: I kind of hate the phrase "classic rock" -- it's a big dodge for Boomers who can't bear to use the word "oldies" in connection with themselves -- but I think I'll go with "bitter old guy" here.

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Flickster: Despite the plug for Nancy Drew, I'll bet there are other summer films for which you have a much higher anticipation level. What looks good? "The Bourne Ultimatum" with Matt Damon, "The Invasion" with Nicole and Daniel Craig, "Knocked Up" with that pudgy young man?

Amy Argetsinger: Pudgy young man? Don't speak that way about my new boyfriend, Seth Rogen, a comic genius who is a good reason to rent the entire single season of "Freaks and Geeks" on Netflix and the only reason to rent the entire single season of "Undeclared."

Bourne Ultimatum? Okay, sure. Just saw the first one on a plane last year, and need to go back and see the second.

The Invasion? Will have to see it, if only for D.C. and Daniel Craig, but I can't think of the last Nicole Kidman film I've actually enjoyed -- can you?

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Lohan: It seems like she's been replaced by Scarlett Johansson as the cute, talented, up-and-coming starlet who gets to host SNL every year. Lohan had the job for a few years, but Johnasen got the job the last two seasons. I do like her Jersey Girl character ("look at dis one, look at dat one").

Amy Argetsinger: And before you know it Scarlett Johansson will be replaced by some other new It Girl. Emma Roberts maybe?

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Whither Nancy?: Is the Nancy Drew movie the original ND (with roadsters and rumble seats) or the revisionist ND?

Those books were actually written by a stable of eight ghost writers -- maybe that arrangement would help Mr. Grisham?

Amy Argetsinger: Oh, updated for the '00s, no doubt. Though I'd love to see a retro treatment. btw, I have a sporty blue roadster.

Maybe Mr. Grisham does have that kind of arrangement already?

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Beantown: Okay, what is the deal with Britney's "feel bad for me because I went loony" missive? I couldn't get past the part where she refered to herself as a "young girl." Um ... Last time I checked young girls meant you were about 12. Maybe. She's 25 with two babies and a shady ex-husband. She's not a young girl. She's a moron.

Sorry, just had to get that out.

Roxanne Roberts: Actually, in Hollywood years, she's 70: Actual age (25) plus three years for every year she's been in show business (15.)

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Washington, D.C.: Lindsay is just going through a phase right now. Soon she will shift out of party girl mode and straight into adopting third-world babies. It's the natural flow of womanhood in Hollywood.

Roxanne Roberts: Seems to be. Sheryl Crow is on the cover of People magazine with her brand her adopted baby, FYI.

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New York, N.Y.: RizaWitz: "No word that they've split,"

Are you kidding me? Enter "wolfowitz splits" into Google. This story was all over the place! They are splitsville, and who could blame her. She's a smart, independent woman and was made to look like her boyfriend pulled strings to get her a job.

Amy Argetsinger: Ooh, it's on Google, it must be true!

Hey, no doubt it's a fairly fiery, tempestuous relationship. And I wouldn't be surprised if they were on the rocks. But it's always hard to say what's going on with a couple and thus far there's no hard reporting to suggest that they're finished.

There were unconfirmed media reports a couple months ago that they had split, after which RizaWitz promptly stepped out together in public at an embassy party. Kind of demonstrating that they hadn't split.

The latest stories you're seeing all over this marvelous newspaper known as Google come from a Page Six report which was based solely on the word of the same blogger who claims that Laura Bush is living in the Mayflower (?!?) because she's mad at George for having an affair with Condi. Clearly, an extraordinarily well-sourced fellow.

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Almost Hollywood: I just wish Linday Lohan and Paris Hilton would look to other celebrities who have managed to stay out of jail as role models. Do you think O.J. Simpson and Robert Blake would have time for some counseling of fellow celebs, or do they just have the wisdom that comes with age?

Roxanne Roberts: Eewwwwwwww, eewwwwwwww, eewwwwwwww. It's going to take all day to get the image of the four of them doing shots out of my mind.

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Washington, D.C.: Thought maybe you made him up (a Democratic on Fox? Come on). But I have to say I like him already. I've never understood why so many fellow liberals are such wusses. Good for him.

Amy Argetsinger: I wish more people would throw punches in D.C. Or Bethesda, for that matter.

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New York City: What is wrong with Larry King's brain? I mean, he's always been as softball pitcher and his former USA Today columns were insipid stream of conscious thoughts such as "I like soup."

But as I was flipping the TV channels last night I saw the most nauseating thing: King interviewing Donald Trump who was doling out his enlightened view on Lindsay Lohan. I seriously cannot think of any more pointless TV than that.

Amy Argetsinger: Damn -- can't believe I missed that.

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London: Any more Masters of the D.C. Universe to be revealed on the Madame's call list?

Amy Argetsinger: Doubtful.

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Kensington, Md.: RE: Classic Rock. What drives me even crazier is listening to an "Alt rock" station and hearing songs that are 25 years old. Once you get into decades, we've gotta be talking "oldies" or "classic rock" unless, of course, we're talking about The Cult. That's just some bad -- rock.

Amy Argetsinger: Oldies! Embrace the word! Get used to it! We are all of us getting old.

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Washington, D.C.: A friend and I were talking about how many people in the Mickey Mouse club are still actually popular today ... Xtina, Britney, Justin, Ryan Gosling, Keri Russell? Anyone else we are missing?

Amy Argetsinger: I think that's about the entire lineup. Right?

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The Police : are not a punk band. They are a pseudo punk ska pop band. C'mon Townshend, get it right.

Amy Argetsinger: What you said.

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Washington, D.C. : Excuse me while I rant: What is it with these rich people and their DUIs and probation violations!? If I had buckets of money, I would have a personal chauffeur to take me everywhere, all. the. time. I just don't understand how (1) if you're going out clubbing or whatever, you don't have a designated driver or, you know, just a driver who happens to be on your payroll and (2) if your license is suspended, how you don't get one of your paid minions to drive you around. Is it just to see how much they can get away with due to their celebrity? News flash, if you injure someone or kill someone, your stupid celebrity status isn't going to keep you from getting prosecuted and it's certainly not going to bring someone back to life or give them back an arm or leg or spleen whatever body part you made them lose, you idiots! Okay, rant over. Thank you, Sourcettes.

Roxanne Roberts: Rant away. It's good for the blood pressure. I think it's hubris and denial: "It won't happen to me, I'll get out of it, etc." I'm guessing the smart ones hire drivers when they feel like hitting the clubs, which is why they're not in the newspapers. Seems like a good argument for living in New York---celebrities get wasted, then pour themselves in a taxi and sleep it off.

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N. Kidman: The last Kidman film I enjoyed? That would be Eyes Wide Shut. Though I'm not sure it's the film I enjoyed.

Amy Argetsinger: Oh, come on -- was there anything remotely enjoyable about that movie? I tried to watch it a couple years ago, thinking it would be at least entertainingly bad and that I'd enjoy the dirty parts, but it was mind-numbingly, hurtfully dull. Couldn't stay with it.

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New York, N.Y.: In the 1980s when the Police were current, Rolling Stones, Who, etc., were called classic rock.

I guess the question is if classic rock is defined by a certain time/decades or is expandable and is defined by a characterstic style?

Amy Argetsinger: I remember in the late '80s, not long after they invented the whole "classic rock" rubric, the classic rock station in D.C. started playing U2 with the explainer that "it doesn't have to be old to be classic." Okay, fine. So from what I could tell, it just has to involve white men playing guitars to be classic.

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Hampton, Va.: Just before the latest plunge into the dark side, Lindsay Lohan also referred to herself as a young girl. She's 20.

We have soldiers in fighting in Iraq younger than her and Britney. And Paris.

These "girls" don't deserve your attention.

Roxanne Roberts: And yet....people keep reading and asking questions about them.

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Washington, D.C.: So which if you will be offered the open job on The View?

Amy Argetsinger: Oh my god, have you heard that rumor? I'm so embarassed. It would be terrible if that rumor started to spread. It could completely jeopardize my salary negotiations -- I mean, not that I'm in negotiations. So please stop spreading that rumor.

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Grisham Fan: Occasionally I tire of reading high literature and just want to enjoy some crap. During her day, was Jane Austen considered crap? I mean, her novels are basically just soaps with nice costumes. Will Grisham one day be considered the voice of our time?

Amy Argetsinger: Jane Austen has character development and insight into the human condition. Haven't read Grisham in a while but I don't remember any of that.

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New Yorkers for Kucinich: But Scarlett Johansson can act, LL can't really. Why doesn't Jane Fonda do an intervention, if she's so concerned about LL? And when is someone going to do interventions on Britney and Paris?

Amy Argetsinger: Oh, no doubt there are entire teams of publicists and business managers and lawyers that are doing interventions. There's a lot at stake here.

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Nicole Kidman: No, you didn't! Start with 'Dead Calm.' It is still awesome, and you get to see Billy Zane when he was young and skinny and hot. Then, skate over to 'To Die For,' which is very humourous, very creepy and has the ever-lovely Joaquin. Take a dip in Moulin Rouge, if you're feeling serious try out the one where she is an interpreter for the UN ... you get the point. She is at her best with a strong male lead, but one who doesn't overpower her. Daniel Craig should be perfect.

Amy Argetsinger: Dead Calm was an awesome movie. I still have nightmares about it.

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New Yorkers for Kidman: To Die For; Malice; The Hours.

Amy Argetsinger: Malice -- really? That was the one with Alec Baldwin, right? Never saw it.

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Kidman film/enjoyment: The Peacemaker. Enjoyment stemming from presence of George Clooney in a uniform. Also, side bet between Kidman and Clooney that he would remarry by the time he turned 40. She lost.

Amy Argetsinger: Ah, interesting.

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Washington: Calling Scarlett Johansson cute is like saying Cole Porter wrote some nice tunes: it just doesn't do justice to the situation.

Roxanne Roberts: How about "delicious"---smart, funny, mature, talented and stacked.

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The only good one: The only good Nicole Kidman movie I can even think of is "To Die For". Great movie. And that wouldn't have worked without the rest of the cast.

Amy Argetsinger: And do you know who else was in that? The lovely and talented Joaquin Phoenix.

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Last Nicole Kidman movie I enjoyed...: Probably Moulin Rouge. I started to watch Bewitched over the weekend and got about 3 minutes in before her breathy little girl voice made me want to stab my eardrums (not really, because ... ouch). I can only pray she doesn't stink up the Golden Compass.

Roxanne Roberts: She's so lovely to look at you kind of forget the movies aren't very good. I did like her in "The Hours" even with the fake-nose-I'm-a=serious-actress thing. And she gets my vote for being consistantly classy---never a nasty word or vulgar action.

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Arlington Va.: Worst trend ever: Hollywood third-world rent-a-kids. Buy them, fly them over, schedule a photo op, and then hand them off to the nanny.

Like Hollyweirdos can even raise their own children properly ...

Amy Argetsinger: Hmmm. I can't imagine who on earth you're thinking of.

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Laurel, Md.: Mouseketeers in trouble? Darlene Gillespie did federal time for participating in her third husband's check-kiting scheme.

Amy Argetsinger: I'm embarassed for you that you know that.

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Washington, D.C.: Daniel Craig. Isn't he going bald?

Amy Argetsinger: No. I don't think so. Why do you have to be a hater?

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Celebrity Sighting!: I'm sure I've seen many; I just never pay enough attention to know.

Actually, I was at Matchbox the night Jenna Bush was there. Does that count?

Amy Argetsinger: If you were in a restaurant the same night as Jenna Bush you cannot complain about a lack of celebrity sightings in your life. That is the Holy Grail of sightings.

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Lindsay Lohan:"Just My Luck" might just be the worst movie ever made. I would have never paid money to see it, but it was the in-flight "entertainment" on several different trips I made. That being said, it was tough to turn away. Don't know that she was engaging or that the movie was just so bad, but found myself putting down my newspaper and watching that awful movie.

Amy Argetsinger: Hey, for all the bad acting and bad life decisions, she's a very photogenic girl who is kind of fascinating to watch.

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Classic Punk Rock: would actually be Bad Brains, Sex Pistols, Black Flag ...

... not the Who? the Police, or for that matter Blondie who somehow gets credit for both bringing both punk and rap into the mainstream.

On the other hand, give me a bourbon and I couldn't care less what you call any of it.

Amy Argetsinger: Crank up the ELO, sez I.

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Herndon, Va.: Reading you two twits reminds me of the Onion satire. You're citing Google as your source? Ouch.

Amy Argetsinger: Ahem, I was making fun of a question-asker who was citing Google as a source. But thank you so much for writing.

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Washington, D.C.: Herb Block was a very rich man at the Post and nobody bothered him. Well, at least few knew he owned 70 mil in Post stock.

Roxanne Roberts: One of the tricks to being very rich is flying under the radar. Hard for most people to pull off, but makes life a whole lot easier. Still, Herb could have sprung for new clothes once every decade.

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Washington, D.C.: In the mood for some retro gossip? Seriously retro -- it happened before I was born, and I'm not a child by anyone's standards.

Why does the biker/veteran crowd which was all over the Mall this weekend hate Jane Fonda so vehemently? I expect she was an outspoken antiwar activist, but there has to be something more to it.

Amy Argetsinger: It's hard to imagine now that every Hollywood figure has some cause or another, but back in the day Jane Fonda's very outspoken opposition to the Vietnam war -- which included visits with North Vietnamese officials -- was galvanizingly controversial. People are still very angry.

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Arlington, Va.: If my boss asks to meet me for a drink at the Palm, what should I say?

Amy Argetsinger: You say, "what time?" and "can the Palm points go on my account?"

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The View: I read somewhere that Kathy Griffin may be being considered for the seat -- hideous! My vote goes to that Deborah chick from "MadTV" as Oprah.

Amy Argetsinger: Thanks for your vote!

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Double Standards?: Hey, I'm going to stick up for Britney here. What about the couple who left their toddlers alone and lost their little girl? They just met the Pope! Yes, Britney exercised bad judgment by putting the baby on her lap while driving, but, come one! Without exception, 'all' of the parents I know were horrified to hear of the negligence of the parents. Is that a European thing?

Amy Argetsinger: It's too late in the hour for me to truly engage in the complexities of this debate.

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Anonymous: Ten years ago I saw Pierce Brosnan standing in front of the Copacabana Palace hotel in Rio. No Jenna Bush, however.

Amy Argetsinger: Shorter than you expected? Or taller?

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The Legions of Nicole Kidman: Dearest Roxanne, what didn't you understand about the outpouring of support we just offered our little Australian screen goddess? The movies are fine, she is beautiful, stop criticizing. This is your last warning.

You may join the forces of light by watching 'Days of Thunder' and realizing that one of the stars in that movie was nuts, and it wasn't her.

Roxanne Roberts: Touche. Poor short Tom. That still doesn't mean I'm going to a Nicole film marathon anytime soon---unless someone drugs me, isolates me from my family and friends, and shows me the Way.

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Virginia: For the Grisham fan: You might like to know that Edgar Allen Poe was considered schlock in his day. He wasn't considered literature at all. He was like Stephen King or Grisham, but incredibly unsuccessful.

And, like Grisham, Poe has a UVa. connection in that he attended there.

Amy Argetsinger: So he was considered schlock in his day, AND he was unsuccessful in his day. But hey -- at least he got to go to U-Va. and live in Poe's room.

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Washington, D.C.: Have you guys ever flopped like Miss USA did at the Miss Universe pageant while strutting your stuff at the Post's cubicle city?

Amy Argetsinger: No, but the wall-to-wall carpet in cubicleland has pretty good traction. Have had some close calls in the cafeteria, though.

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Ouch: Twits? How dare anyone call the gossip goddesses twits while sitting around reading a gossip chat. Yikes.

Oh, as for Nicole K., "The Interpreter" was a great yet sadly underrated movie. She and Sean Penn rocked it.

Amy Argetsinger: That same irony occured to me as well.

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Washington, D.C.: For those with Google issues (particularly the good reader from Herndon): FYI -- Google is a search engine. It searches through real live honest news sites. This site here included. So it's not news from Google. It's just delivered via Google.

Now, you don't assume the paper boy is the source of the Washington Post just because he tosses it onto your front porch, do you?

Amy Argetsinger: Thanks for all of that. Still, I cling to the original point I made with the original RizaWitz chatter, which is that just because something turns up in a Google search doesn't mean it's true. You have to consider the source that Google has brought you to.

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Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig: How did they find a child attractive enough to play their progeny? Can you imagine how amazingly gorgeous their kid would be?

Roxanne Roberts: Genes are funny that way. What if the kid was short, skinny and really, really pale?

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DO NOT CRANK UP THE ELO: I grew up across Route 1 from an amusement park that plays that d_ _n song on one of its "scary" rides. Imagine being 4- or 5-years-old and trying to fall asleep every night and hearing that over and over and over ...

Amy Argetsinger: Damn. Go ahead and say it. Which song?

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C'ville, Va.: Wait, I thought this was a satirical take on a "real" gossip column. You mean you two are serious?

Amy Argetsinger: So many levels of nuance and irony that I can't tell if we're being insulted or praised here. And it's too late in the hour.

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Washington, D.C.: How short is Robert Reich or is that not fair? I last saw him a long time ago dining with a companion at Jaleo. For the record, he did not need a booster seat.

Amy Argetsinger: I'm pretty sure he's shorter than Pierce Brosnan.

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Washington, D.C.: LiLo is absolutely stunning. Did you see the Vanity Fair photo spread of her last year (or was it 2005?) Gorgeous girl.

And I agree with RR, she's a solid actress, for real.

And I'm a lefty, hairy legged feminist who despises our nation's obsession with celebutantes who drink way too much and have lost any sense of personal responsiblity.

(Lefty both physically and ideologically.)

Amy Argetsinger: Thank you, thank you. I cannot improve upon any of this.

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Classic Punk again: Ah yes, ELO, was Xanadu their nadir? Or was it Olivia Newton Johns's (Johns' ? I can never remember the grammar rule).

Amy Argetsinger: As I recall the combination of the two in Xanadu assured their mutual destruction.

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Falls Church, Va.: Re: but I think I'll go with "bitter old guy" (Pete Townshend) here Poor Old "Hope I die Before I get Old" Pete, too bad his wish didn't come true

Amy Argetsinger: Ohhh, snap.

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Boston, Mass.: Um ... Hold the phone. Was Jane Austen considered crap in her day? No, actually, she wasn't. Just thought I needed to point out that one of the most talented writers ever, did not, in fact, have a Grisham-esque rep. Pride and Prejudice is still the best book I've ever read.

Amy Argetsinger: Thanks for setting us straight.

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Anonymous: Just want to send my props to all the brainiacs participating in this chat and mocking gossip chats.

I love you idiots! As much as I know I'm wasting my time. I'm glad to know I'm wasting yours too.

Amy Argetsinger: Thank you. This hour is the highlight of my week.

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Fairfax, Va.: Just curious as to your obsession with the height (or lack thereof) of the various male celebs your readers spot. I haven't seen any queries about whether the females were "fatter or thinner than you expected?" Katie and I were just wondering,

Tom C.

Amy Argetsinger: Nicole Kidman is definitely thinner than you expect -- that what you were looking for?

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Well, I love you guys: That's all. Now end the chat so I can get back to work.

Amy Argetsinger: Thanks! We gotta do the same....

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Austen fan:"During her day, was Jane Austen considered crap? I mean, her novels are basically just soaps with nice costumes. Will Grisham one day be considered the voice of our time?"

Well, I think novels in general were considered low-brow entertainment at the time, an idea that Austen actually tried to subvert. Anyway, the problem with Grisham is that, with a few exceptions (A Time to Kill, A Painted House, The Firm), his books aren't even 'good' crap entertainment. Really, beyond those, if you've read one, you've read them all. For the "voice of our time," I would nominate Stephen King (that man can tell a story) or (VOOT, Lawyer Division) Scott Turow.

Amy Argetsinger: Hey, all you name-calling, moral-high-ground types joining our chat today? Hope you noticed that we've been debating JANE AUSTEN today. Oh yes, we are people of substance, we are. We can take it high, we can take it low.

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Roxanne Roberts: We got through the whole hour with anyone getting a DUI----good job, chatters! Everyone behave and keep your eyes wide open for celebrity sightings (reliablesource@washpost.com). See you next week, when we'll discuss Paris Hilton's first day in jail.

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Don't leave yet ...: I'm joining the chat right at the end, haven't read everything yet, but please get Weingarten on the horn if anyone's going to start a 70's 'stache revival. He might actually shave his off if he sensed it was trendy.

Amy Argetsinger: Weingarten -- he is indeed in the vanguard here.

Okay, now we're really gone.

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