Celebritology Live

Get the Scoop on the Latest Gossip Making Waves on the Web

When stars shave their heads, couch-jump, commit a fashion faux pas and commit random acts of tomfoolery, washingtonpost.com Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly shares the buzz, offers perspective and provides crucial links to juicy alternate news sources and, of course, takes your reaction in her daily blog.

Now join Liz each Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), "Lost," and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

A transcript follows.

Before she started blogging about celebrities, Liz ran washingtonpost.com's Live Online section, where she enjoyed talking to really interesting people -- including some Post reporters -- on the phone. She produces both Carolyn Hax's advice discussion and Gene Weingarten's Chatological Humor.

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Liz Kelly: Good afternoon and welcome to another edition of starlets gone bad. This week -- Lindsay Lohan ruins the L.A. undersage club scene, endangering the hellion phase we expect from up-and-comers like "The Suite Life's" Zack and Cody, Jordin Sparks, Shiloh, Suri, Kinsgton and all the rest. Just plain selfish, that one.
I kid, obviously, and we'll talk more about the Lindsay Lohan effect on the Hollywood scene. As linked in this morning's Mix, authorities are finally taking a look at the clubs where underage starlets have been partying.
In bigger and better news, though, today I started accepting your ideas for the annual Celebritology Honors categories. Last year we had only three categories and Paris Hilton, attention hog that she is, swiped two of the awards. So this year we'll be expanding to five total award categories. And that's where I need a little help -- over the next week I'll be accepting any and all ideas for categories for this year's awards. Send them to celebritology@washingtonpost.com, early and often. We'll pick the five best ideas and commence voting later this month.
I'm feeling a little unbalanced because this is the first Celebritology Live chat that won't dedicate the final 15 minutes to discussing "Lost." What do we do? Talk celebs for the full hour or should we come up with some other theme for the final 15?
Earlier this week I sat down with Fergie prior to her bizarro performance at Fair Oaks Mall. The performance was fine, just the venue that was a little surreal. Yes, she's tiny, actually has those abs and can in fact walk quite well in 4-plus inch stiletto heels.
Finally, a PSA: I'll be vacationing all next week on lovely Fire Island, N.Y. In my absence, a cavalcade of subs will be posting to Celebritology each day, but there will be no chat next week. Unless, of course, there is.
Oh, one more thing. For any Weingarten fans out there hoping to pick up the thread from his Tuesday discussion: Forget it.

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Washington, D.C.: I was absolutely sure, 100 percent convinced, that David Hyde Pierce was already out. Not in the way that I was sure Neil Patrick Harris was gay, before it was confirmed ... I think I actually read it somewhere, or saw pictures of DHP at a public venue with a male partner, or something.

I must be delusional, huh?

Liz Kelly: From what I've read (Hyde Pierce?) has gracefully avoided questions about his personal life in the past though there was some speculation. This time around he was somewhat outed by the AP and didn't deny their assertions. Oopsy.
No comment, by the way, from Cecil Terwilliger,.

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I don't get it: I don't understand why celebs drive under the influence OR when their license has been revoked. These people have tons of friends, admirers (that will stay sober for them), money, connections and nice vehicles. There is no reason why they are driving drunk or on a suspended license. This also happened just last month in a city I used to live in -- a baseball player was drunk and hit a stalled car and was killed. I bet I could have found 50 people that would have offered to drive that guy home.

Now, the ugly waitress with a bad figure at the Golden Corral driving a 1991 Escort without insurance -- she REALLY has FEWER appealing options for a ride home. I get why the waitress in my example is driving drunk. I don't get why Paris or Lindsay or some ball player does it.

Liz Kelly: You're assuming, of course, that the entourages surrounding celebs are somehow possessed of more sense than the celebs themselves.
I'm sure, for instance that LL's publicist, Leslie Sloan Zelnick, has explained to her that making an a** of herself in public isn't necessarily in her best interest, but I also doubt Leslie's hanging out at Hyde at 2:30 a.m.

Liz Kelly: What I mean to say is that many people -- even average people -- who do stupid things are warned at every step, but if someone is bent on destructive behavior she will figure out a way to surround herself with like-minded individuals and push we cool-headed types to the curb.

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Port of Spain, Trinidad: Dear Liz,

After today's brouhaha over "feckless," I'm just wondering if you have any favorite words, especially those that apply to celebrities and their ilk.

Down here, I like the local use of the word "bacchanal". Not sure I'm spelling it right, but it's pretty much what Lindsay Lohan does when she's not in Rehab.

Liz Kelly: Now let me address this early. I said feckless and I meant feckless. I was likening Celine Dion's young boy to a layabout dirty hippie of the sort one sometimes encounters panhandling on San Francisco's Haight St. It was meant as a joke. I guess it was a bad joke.
I'm too bummed to type multi-syllabic (except this one) words anymore.

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Silver Spring, Md.: I am MUCH too excited about the fact that the last 15 minutes of today's chat has no Lost to speak of.

Liz Kelly: Well, you could just sit there quietly reveling in your victory, but that's okay. Let's hope I don't get interested in "The Next Big Thing."

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TV Land, Washington, D.C.: Oh wise and wonderful Liz -- what should we watch since SVU, Lost, Betty, Gray's are over for the summer? I tried watching that dancing show and the celebrity impersonators show last night, but I can't imagine watching countless shows about normal people who have cool and/or weird talents all summer. What is a girl to do?

Liz Kelly: Well, here's my plan. "Big Love" returns to HBO in a couple of weeks and if you're looking for escapism mixed with drama, sexual tension and a little intrigue I strongly recommend watching. I'm also planning on checking out HBO's new "John from Cincinnati" on June 10. It's from the creators of "Deadwood" which was unjustifiably dropped from the line-up. If you are a "Deadwood" fan, you'll know what epithet I'm thinking right now in relation to HBO execs.
"Starter Wife" seemed promising, what with Debra Messing and all, but was panned today by The Post's Jennifer Frey, so I think I'll give it a pass.
Also, don't miss the guide to Summer Series Premieres. Looks like cable is the place to be, since most of the network summer offerings are derawd reality shows and competitions. I'm intrigued by Comedy Central's "Lil' Bush" in which he and his cabinet are reimagined as mischievous kids. Also there's this Holly Hunter "Saving Grace" project coming to TNT that looks kind of interesting in a hip "Highway to Heaven" kind of way.

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Liz Kelly: In my first post I obviously meant "underage," not "undersage" -- though I'm sure the later would smell really good.

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British Spies: Does anyone know how to pronounce the abbreviation for the name of the British spy agency MI6? Is it em six, em eye six, em sixteen, or something else?

Liz, you have such knowledgeable readers (e.g. feckless), I figure someone must know.

Liz Kelly: MI-6, yes. Emm-eye-six.

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Lohan: Liz, thanks for your entry yesterday on LL. I am tired of watching her implode, but more than that I am sad no one is stepping up and taking responsibility for her. She clearly can't be responsible for herself, her parents are shallow, opportunistic, and ill-equipped to confront the problem, and people keep giving her jobs, press, drugs, and booze.

Sad, sad, sad.

Liz Kelly: Thank you. I appreciate the support. That particular post attracted not only much criticism of her, but of me for writing about her at all. Still, maybe I kid myself, but our mission as Celebritologists is to dissect and analyze these very people.
As I understand it one of my guest Celebritologers will have a post that tries to get inside the head of one or more of these starlets next week. Stay tuned.

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Sub: Whatever you do, don't allow Weingarten to substitute. You know the types of things HE'LL talk about.

Liz Kelly: I made that mistake once last year and, trust me, I won't do that again. The man hates celeb news and gossip with a red hot passion. He actually addressed this a little in his chat earlier this week. Let me see if I can find the passage...
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New York, N.Y.: Your thoughts on the Rosie O'Donnell - Elizabeth Hasselbeck feud?
Gene Weingarten: I was unaware there was a feud.
I guess this is a good time to say again that I lack the celeb gene. The main thing I know about Elizabeth Hasselback is that she is the wife of the former New York Giants backup quarterback Tim Hasselbeck, who was replaced last year by a big, fat left-handed thrower named Jared Lorenzen (he's nearly 300 pounds)who has the best nickname in pro sports: The Hefty Lefty.
Here is what I don't get about celeb worship:
I like the work of a lot of celebs whose talents I admire. Many are athletes. Others are actors. Some are writers or musicians or cartoonists. I follow what they do in front of a screen, or onstage, or on a playing field, or on the printed page.
The thing is, in virtually all such cases, the most interesting thing about these people IS their work. Personally, they prove to be shallow or inarticulate or wildly self-absorbed or stupidly melodramatic or immature or all of the above. Their marriages tend to be ridiculous. They are role models for no one. The celebs who tend not to be these things are the ones who run from exactly the sort of publicity the public seems to hunger for (say, Garry Trudeau.)
So, someone splain me why people can't get enough of all the pathetic adventures of these people, when you are getting all the best stuff -- the only important stuff -- from their work product?
Actually, I'm addressing this to the estimable Celebritologist, who is as well qualified to answer this question than perhaps anyone else on earth. Splain. I seriously don't get it.
washingtonpost.com: I've talked about this a few times in my own chat (Thursdays at 2 p.m., ahem) and it comes down to schadenfreude, basically. We take some kind of sick delight in knowing that celebrities, despite all their bling and beauty, are just as fallible as we.
Walter Winchell, the real Celebritologist, said it much better:
"Gossip was a form of democratization --a great leveler. It demonstrated that the celebrated were no better than the rest of us and sometimes much worse. Or, put another way, it allowed people to feel better about themselves by feeling worse about those who had so much more."
In the current climate of tabloid sensationalism and 24/7 paparazzi stalking, the work is really a secondary interest.
Sad, but true.
Gene Weingarten: We are idiots, then.
This whole construct depends on our feeling they are BETTER than we are.
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Does Gene and Walter have a point? Do we (consciously or not) think celebs are better than we are?

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Deadwood Fan: I am so hoping that Deadwood's favorite crudite is some how a surfing term that will be repeated incessantly on John from Cincy.

Liz Kelly: Maybe it can define a new kind of really destructive wave:
"That wave was a total C.S.!"

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Chat with Ge, NE: Does that mean we won't have the benefit from your snarky comments and analysis next Tuesday noon? Where will we be without (to use another Simpsons allusion) the sober ying to Weingarten's raging yang?

By the way, "raging yang" is a funny phrase.

Liz Kelly: Sober? That's a word you don't see often in relation to Gene.
The incredibly capable and funny Paul Williams will be subbing for me on Tuesday in Gene's chat.
"Raging Yang" sounds kind of dirty. I think you may just have coined Celebritology's first catch phrase. We just need to come up with a good definition for it... perhaps someone who is the antithesis of everything we hold to be right and good? As in "Tara Reid is a raging yang."

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Conyers, Ga.: Holly Hunter is from my town.

I just wanted to say that.

My summer viewing plans include baseball (sorry Liz!) and catching up on movies I didn't see in the theater. I'm also thinking about having a Festival of Monk.

Liz Kelly: I never watched "Monk." I'm long overdue to watch the "Veronica Mars" DVDs. I've never seen one episode and have been told I'm missing out.

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Arlington, Va.: So last night, in "Lost" withdrawal, I watched Lindsay Lohan in "Just My Luck." In case you haven't seen it (as if!), LiLo plays a young PR exec with a golden touch who, after kissing a mysterious stranger at a masquerade party, absorbs his bad luck and suffers a total reversal of fortune. Among other things, her new-found bad luck results in her getting arrested, twice. So what I think is happening is, LiLo is now somehow living out life as her character in this movie, perhaps through some kind of Smoke Monster action. Thoughts?

Liz Kelly: Or maybe it is only one possible future that is completely dependent on Penny finding Desmond.
I noticed that was on, but Mr. Liz flatly refused to watch. He hogged the remote and subjected me to the umpteenth viewing of "Saturday Night Fever." Which is fine, too. Al. Pacino.
Speaking of cheesy movies... over the weekend we OnDemanded "Turistas" and I have to say that it wasn't terrible. Granted we had low expectations going in, but there was an actual plot and the underwater cave scenes are way cool. Oh, also wet Josh Duhamel in a bathing suit. And plenty for girl watchers, too. Apparently only hot people vacation in Brazil.

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Methinks: Hi Liz,

During Gene's chat on Tuesday, you said you felt that people read things like ... Celebritology, for example ... because of 'schadenfreude' (or reveling in the miseries of others if I have the meaning correct ... feckless-heads at the ready!) My question is: Is this wrong? I'm not really reveling in their misery or stupidity, I'm marveling at it. Sort of like laughing with someone rather than at them.

Please advise.

Liz Kelly: Well, that's how I feel about it. Like I'm watching some really stupid fish continue to bang its head against the glass of the aquarium wall.

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Richmond, Va.: I'm at work, so I couldn't hear Fergie's singing in that Kids, Incorporated video, but watching it was certainly horrifying. The clown was a total freakshow, her outfit was unflattering, her hair was pretty but over-the-top 80's. And singing that particular song about a clown?!?! Unbelievable.

Liz Kelly: To truly appreciate the full creepy cheese -- the "raging yang" if you will -- of that video, you really should watch with sound. E-mail it to yourself and watch at home.

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I have a theory: The reasons that celebs drive even when they shouldn't is because they are megalomaniacs and control freaks -- a REALLY dangerous combination.

Liz Kelly: Oh, so it has nothing to do with alcohol?

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Brooklyn, N.Y.: I'm amazed that actors still feel the need to remain in the closet as Hollywood has seemingly embraced the gay community.

Why is this? Are they worried that the flyover country gay haters will stop watching them? I've heard that Kevin Spacey's homosexuality is the worst kept secret in Hollywood, and his wife is a beard. But if this were true, why live the lie?

Are Americans more forgiving of anti-Semetic stars like Mel Gibson than of actors who simply are gay?

Liz Kelly: I'm not familiar with David Hyde Pierce's thoughts on why he kept his lovelife to himself, but could it be that it was just that? That he wanted to keep his lovelife to himself whether he be straight, gay or Martian?
Another thing you might want to do is consider the individual rather than the group. Sexuality, no matter how embraced many lifestyles are, still has the capability to shock, to divide, to cut us to the very quick of ourselves. So though there may be an embracing community just waiting to fete celebrities as they emerge from the closet, it may not be so easy to emerge from one's own head space surrounding this issue. The same way that the country may be very accepting of all different shapes, sizes and colors of people but there are still some who have issues with their shape, size or color and -- yes -- still some people who will agree with them.
Does that make sense?

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Washington, D.C.: You said thread.

Liz Kelly: I did.

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Richmond, Va.: I don't think we're obsessed with celebrities so much as we're fascinated by people in general. If someone, anyone, that we find interesting allows us a glimpse into their personal lives, we're all for it. Just like there are people that like to know what makes a machine tick or what makes people tick biologically, there are those of us out there that want to know what makes people tick mentally. We tend to focus on celebrities because they are the ones that allow us into their lives. Ditto reality TV.

Liz Kelly: Another vote for fascination. I like it when we are smarter than Walter Winchell.

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Long Live Veronica Mars!: Long Live Veronica Mars!

Okay that's all I really wanted to say. First and second season are brilliant. First half of of third good. The last episode was sadness and a harkening back to the first season all rolled into one.

'sigh'

Liz Kelly: Thanks, I will watch. I promise.

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Josh Duhamel!: Oh I love him because he's the living embodiment of a Ken Doll. In my (dream) harem he wouldn't be the one that I keep around because I like conversing with him.

Liz Kelly: Let's hope he differs from a Ken Doll in one crucial way.

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Al Pacino?: Saturday Night Fever and Al Pacino?

Liz Kelly: Yes, it's a line Travolta says into the mirror when he's prepping to go out: "Al. Pacino." Can someone see if it's available on YouTube?

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Liz the producer: Okay -- I admit I am a WaPo chat junkie. I still remember the first question I ever asked and the special guest (Letitia Baldridge) answered it. What a thrill! Anyway -- you said you do Gene and Carolyn's chats. Do all the regulars have producers? I think that Warren Brown does but what about Michael Dirda or Pearlman. Okay -- I will just come out with it -- obviously, Carolyn gets more questions than Tim Page used to (but he is still amazing) so is it more work to produce a chat for a "bigger name"? I feel so awful just writing that but I have always wondered.

Liz Kelly: Yep, they all have regular producers. In fact, all shows have producers. This is a class act we run here.

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RE: Fergie: You say her fans were waiting "on" line for an autograph. Gene isn't ghosting for you, is he?

Liz Kelly: No. Is "on" line somehow a Gene-ism?

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Re: Kevin Spacey: Not married, dude.

Besides, what's it to anyone whether someone's gay or not?

Liz Kelly: Thanks Lisa!

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La-La Land: Liz, how much do you think the fishbowl culture (let's keep that fish metaphor going!) of H-wood contributes to the LohanRichieSpears Syndrome?

Methinks other celebs who live in NYC or other places don't have such issues, or at least can keep their private lives out of the aquarium.

Liz Kelly: Combine the Fishbowl culture with being an underage star with way too much money and way too little structure in your life and you've got a potent combination.

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Feckless: It was funny. Ignore them.

Liz Kelly: Thank you.

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Seattle, Wash.: My Onion day-by-day calendar article today is about a New Hampshire 7th grader who became a woman on Monday. Just mentioning it for your edification.

Liz Kelly: Well thanks. This chat needs a little injection of ... well, what the hell is this?

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Methinks: I was wondering what was the coolest thing, other than interviewing Fergie at the mall the other day, that you've ever gotten to do as a professional Celebritologist? Give us a little snapshot of your life ... take us behind the curtain where all the levers and buttons are pushed ...

Liz Kelly: Well, talking on the phone with the Brady Bunch's Cousin Oliver (Robbie Rist) was pretty high up there. Wasn't the same as meeting someone in person, but man -- he was Cousin Oliver and I talked to him on the phone. Also, last year I interviewed a guy -- Noah Kalina -- who took several pix of himself with various celebs. He liked the experience so much he asked me to write all the text for the coffee table book he's producing of the pix. Should be out sometime this fall.

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Liz Kelly: But usually it's me, the Mac, my PJs and the dog.

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Chat junkies unite: I am also a WashPost chat junkie. They seem to keep renaming it -- it was online chats (or so I though) then online discussions and now it seems to just be discussions. They keep trying to hide to break my habit, but I find ways around them!

Liz Kelly: Yes, it is now Discussions. Which makes my cache of denim-billed "Live Online" hats particularly valuable.

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Brooklyn, N.Y.: "Does that make sense?"

It does. But it would seem to me that having to hide your sexuality as a celebrity would be a mentally and emotionally exhausting daily chore.

Liz Kelly: Agreed. But wouldn't that be mentally and emotionally exhausting for anyone?

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Baltimore, Md.: So Liz (and others) have you picked up the new Larry Sanders Show DVD set? Not enough episodes on it, really, but some fabulous extras, most especially a 20-minute or so confab between Gary Shandling and Jerry Seinfeld, in which Seinfeld reveals his total disdain for actors.

He says (and this is almost an exact quote.) "I watch that James Lipton show on Bravo and I pity those poor kids in the audience, It's like they thought 'I want to be real rich and famous, but I don't have anything to say, so I'll be an actor and speak words that other people have written.'" And he's not kidding. There's also a nice three-way discussion among Shandling, Jeffrey Tambor and Rip Torn.

Liz Kelly: Not yet, but I did watch the first season DVDs earlier this year and was left wanting much, much more. Why is it there are six seasons in the can, but only one full season and one "special" collection available on DVD? Just wrong.
Have you seen that Seinfeld documentary "Comedian" about his return to standup after "Seinfeld?" Pretty good and insightful except for the interspersed story of the raging yang who things he's a comic.

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A modest proposal: Hmmm.

I'm going to open a really hip restaurant/nightclub in Hollywood that will feature limousine service for the tipsy celebs, and I'll get kickbacks from the PR people. Then I'll also sell dirt to the paparrazi when the celebs turn down the free ride. Lots of profit potential here!

Liz Kelly: I would keep my identity a secret then because everyone will be wanting to throw your carcass off Mulholland Drive.

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Falls Church, Va.: Liz,

Well, Top Chef is back. That was always a good show and now Ted Allen is going to be on even more, which makes it even better. And Project Runway should be back soon, no? I am also looking forward to the Closer on TNT. But you MUST watch Veronica Mars asap. If you are anything like me, you will barrel through the first season in a weekend. yes, 22 episodes in 48 hours. Oh yes, it takes talent.

Liz Kelly: Yes, Project Runway!
Remember back in the day when "Beverly Hills 90210" did summer seasons? Seriously, that was the best. We all moved to the beach club for the summer and watched the drama unfold in the well-appointed cabanas. Those were the days.

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You said...: "I'm not familiar with David Hyde Pierce's thoughts on why he kept his love life to himself, but could it be that it was just that?" which is what I was about to chime in with when I read your response. Despite being TV or movie stars, some folks don't necessarily want their life to be dissected constantly.

I'm am slightly disappointed though, I SO totally wish I was in Daphne's place on Frasier when they finally got together ...

Liz Kelly: awwww...

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And don't forget: Virtual Gene. Who couldn't love that?

Liz Kelly: But the sad thing is you can't really throw Virtual Gene at anyone in the same way women throw virtual panties at him.

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Allentown, Pa.: It's only been a week and I'm suffering from symptoms of "Lost" withdrawal. How am I going to make it another eight months? Guess it's time to hit the season one DVDs again.

Liz Kelly: Jen and I are trying to cook up a little something to keep us all sated until January. Stay tuned for more details in the next couple of weeks as we hash out our plan.

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Re: Britney: "I think it's actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce."

I thought this quote was a really striking example of many celebs' almost total removal from reality. Brit, darlin', you are 25 years old, have been married and divorced twice, and are the mother of two children. You are decidedly not a "young girl."

Liz Kelly: Well, I'd hate to be accused of defending Britney Spears, but as a once divorced young woman myself (I was young at the time, OK?) I can attest to the very real after effects. My friends like to call that six months of my life my "Courtney Love Phase." Change is traumatic -- even when it is for the best. When your whole world turns upside down, sometimes a party is just what you need to forget about life for a while.
Luckily I came back down to earth pretty quickly. Here's hoping Britney's on the same path.
Is she disconnected from reawlity? I don't know. Her reality is so absolutely different from ours that I'd hesitate to accuse her of living in a bubble. Of course she does live in a bubble, but don't we all live in our own bubbles? Granted her bubble is probably insured by Lloyds of London, but still, we all have to work in the space we're given.

Liz Kelly: Man, I'm terrible at that. Where's Hax when I need her?

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Washington, D.C.: What's that new series by the Wallace and Gromit guys -- "Creature" something? It looks pretty surreal, which could make it pant-wettingly funny or just a grim horror. There tends to be no gray area in these things. What do you think?

Liz Kelly: Don't have the name on the tip of my tongue, but I did see that it was included in the summer series package I linked to earlier.

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New York, New York Big City of Dreams: Sometimes celebs don't come out of the closet because, no matter how welcoming the Hollywood community is, the community from which they come may not be so welcoming. I have a friend who's a minor celebrity, and he didn't come out of the closet until after his parents died, because he feared their reaction.

Liz Kelly: There you go. A pretty typical reason for keeping one's sexuality to oneself.

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Philadelphia, Pa.: Hey there Liz:

Lohan, Spears, Hilton, Richie ... etc. My opinion only ... Zoo's post those 'Don't Feed the Animal' signs for a reason. Once these train wrecks reach/exceed the threshold from quirky to dangerous and beyond, continuing to report (discuss, whatevah) in the media should come to a screeching halt.

Seriously, the titillating behavior as reported in the 40's/50's resulted in consequences for 'stars' because of their off- screen behavior.

Now, these 'stars' are not only NOT being held accountable for their actions, there are zero industry wide sanctions designed to curtail/prevent rewarding these people for their over the top/untouchable behavior.

Investigating the clubs is a start. Cutting off the access, making those responsible pay a significant fine, banish them from working in the industry for a period of time.

The business who support these people need to be held equally as accountable as the stars themselves.

And let's not even get started on these companies 'gifting' the people who need it the least with fabulous whatevers ... has it occurred to any other American that eventually you're the sap who winds up paying for those ridiculous handouts through your PURCHASE of (fill in the blank). The cost of these 'gifts' is reflected in the price you're going to PAY when you purchase the lastest and the greatest.

And to answer the question, why read a celeb chat/column?

Specifically to gather information ...

Liz Kelly: So this is research? Well, carry on.
I am with you on the bit about investigating the clubs. Why did it take so long? I asked a friend of mine who works in PR out in L.A. about this a few months back and she just said that it goes on everywhere, everyone knows and no one cares.
Hopefully that culture will change a little. I mean, I'm all for over-age people drinking themselves silly (as long as they don't drive), but the under-age thing has got to stop.

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Gaithersburg, Md.: Well, it does matter if stars (or any other public figure) come out. Visibility is what's increasing tolerance toward gay people in this country. Speaking from experience, you feel a lot less lonely when you're growing up gay if you know there are other people like you. If they're famous and successful it's even better.

Liz Kelly: Good point. Thanks for chiming in.

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McLean, Va.: Liz,

I have watched only snippets of Deadwood, enough to know that the show was full of variations of George Carlin's seven dirty words.

However, I do not know which phrase was the most popular. Was the "C.S." related to an expression that might be described as a person who has been hoodwinked into becoming a Cox customer?

Liz Kelly: Indeed. You got it, pardner.

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Celebrity Awards: 1. Best celebrity use of eyeglasses to make themselves appear more intelligent in public than their TV or movie character. Early favorite: Tim Allen. In the mix: Richard Gere, Charlie Sheen

2. The Damocles Thread Award, given to the major celebrity who is most in danger of becoming a minor celebrity. Early Favorite: Ashley Judd. In the mix: anyone named Wayans

3. Most spectacular crash of a star vehicle. Not on the roadway, mind you, but the awesomest collapse of a star's pet project. Early Favorite: Eddie Murphy for Norbit. In the mix: Jessica Simpson for that waitress movie whose name escapes me, Quentin Tarrantino for Grindhouse

Liz Kelly: Oooh, I like the Damocles Thread award. But I will pass on the eyeglass idea seeing as how I actually do become more intelligent each time I don my pair of prescription specs. If I had been wearing them this morning I would have more effectively used feckless.

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Washington, D.C.: Do you think Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson would have been selected as judges in the first place for Idol had they known how huge the show would be?

I mean, they were nobodies when that show started. I remember thinking that they must have really scraped the bottom of the barrel to get people to agree to this show.

That said, Paul Abdul, instead of crying all the time, should thank her lucky stars that people even know who she is.

Liz Kelly: Sure, they were nobodies, but then so was Simon as far as we're concerned. Not to mention that Seacrest. "Idol" has been successful beyond all expectations and -- like it or not -- Randy, Paula, and Simon are partly responsible. No matter how annoying each one is individually they have a certain chemistry when combined. As much chemistry as one can conjure from a cheesy reality competition show.

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Methinks: I think A-Rod and his wife would probably disagree with the poster who said NYC celebs don't get as much of the paparazzi treatment. Oy vey!

Wow, Liz, Cousin Oliver from The Brady Bunch is very cool. I'm wondering why you were talking to him and when we'll read more about that conversation.

When my children were younger, I won lunch wuth David Cassidy at the Hard Rock Cafe. I took my three kids and despite the fact that it looked like he'd recently had work done on his eyes, it was a very good time. Then we rode through downtown on the Partridge Family bus.

Make sure to give your regular readers a heads up on when that coffee table book comes out.

Liz Kelly: I actually wrote about Cousin Oliver last year. Here's the link.
Will definitely let everyone know when the book is available.

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McLean, Va.: LOL. What a great post.

McLean you are good with the words.

Liz Kelly: Kudos for you, McLean.

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"On" line: Saying "on line" instead of "in line" is not a Gene-ism, it is a New York-ism. Only people who grew up in New York or its close-in 'burbs say this.

Liz Kelly: Well, I'm a pseudo-intellectual poseur, so I can use it, too.

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Hollywood, Calif.: I don't know if anyone cares about Lindsay Lohan, but I think rehab didn't fully work out for her. I think I saw her sipping in a drink at a club, but then, maybe I'm wrong. Have your sources heard any more about this?

Liz Kelly: As far as I know she's still sequestered at Promises in Malibu, though her dad's mouth is completely at liberty. Today he was quoted as saying that LL's recovering from an OxyContin addiction. Like he would know. And, if he did, how utterly wrong is it for him to share that with the press -- or anybody?
No wonder. That's all I'm sayin.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Liz, I was wondering if the head of the California ABC used to work vice in Casablanca?

I myself was shocked to learn there was gambling at Rick's Cafe Americain.

Liz Kelly: Yes, would seem like this guy would have to do a protracted investigation to discover that he does indeed have a nose on his face.
Someone from the ABC office in today's LA Times story said that photos from Us Weekly aren't conclusive proof of underage drinking -- after all, photos can be faked and there's no way to prove the drinking was going on at a particular establishment. So the ABC officers are putting their lives on the line to hang out undercover at places like Hyde and get eye witness evidence. How do I pull that duty?

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Lohans, OY: Ya know, as I was watching a report about Lindsay Lohan and her pops on CNN this morning, I thought to myself, "gee, maybe forced sterilization isn't such a bad idea after all..."

Liz Kelly: Or, you know, some sort of license that allows one to procreate.

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Project Runway!: Wait! When is that back?! I've missed it. And Heidi won't even be preggers anymore.

And here I was thinking I'll have nothing to watch all summer ...

Liz Kelly: Doh, looks like we may have to wait a bit longer. According to Wikipedia, season 4 debuts in the fourth quarter of 2007.

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Chicago, Ill.: Hey Liz,

Have you seen George Clooney lately? Doesn't he look younger? What did he do?

Liz Kelly: He does look good. Looks to me like George lost a little weight, which can do wonders for anyone. There was some buzz at Cannes about George having had his eyes done. He addressed the speculation by saying he had one eye done and will do the second if he's pleased with the first.

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Texarkana, Tex.: Paul Williams is subbing for you? The diminutive songwriter who wrote "Old-Fashioned Love Song" and made frequent guest appearances on the "Odd Couple"? I'll tune in for that.

Liz Kelly: Yes, he was available, oddly enough. And if anything happens to him, Glen Campbell is waiting in the weeks.

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Goin' ugly: Picking up on that eyeglass plus celeb=smart celeb theme, have you noticed that gorgeous actresses tend to 'go ugly' in order to win an Academy Award ... I give you Nicole Kidman, Halle Berry, Helen Mirren (okay, homely on that one.) Any others?

Liz Kelly: Well, maybe one way to put it is that they tend to get awarded for their "grittier" roles. Based on that formula, maybe we can predict who will win the next best actress award. Any "gritty" performances out there yet?

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Liz Kelly: But usually it's me, the Mac, my PJs and the dog. : ... and Mr. Liz ...?

Liz Kelly: Well, not during the day when he's at work. I work from home most days, so it's me and the dog. Oh, and the cat. Arthur.

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New York City: Possible Lizzie categories:

-Celebrity with the most third-world babies.

-Celebrity who must endure the worst parents

Liz Kelly: I like the parentage award idea.

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Charlottesville, Va.: Hey, Liz. I actually got Gene to discuss celebs a few weeks ago. I wrote in about the Alec Baldwin phone message and Hank Stuever's opinion on it, and Gene posted it and responded. He did, at the end, write that he couldn't believe he put it in his Chat.

Liz Kelly: I remember that. Maybe Gene is just pretending he doesn't like celeb news. Remaining above the fray, as it were, to avoid damaging his highfalutin' cred.

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Aaauugh!: One of the reasons I love these online discussions is you do not see many annoying IM acronyms. Most comments are literate and readable and don't look like they were written on Britney Spears's blog. Please don't post comments with "LOL" in them -- it's only a very short drop from there to complete, drooling stupidity.

Liz Kelly: Well, a little LOL every now and then won't hurt. And I only drool on Mondays.

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Rehab: Why do you think Drew Barrymore hasn't helped these young women? Admittedly, she is way classy, and they don't run in the same circles, but she is the classic "druggie at 13, wonder woman at 30" story. At the very least, the PR people for the ParisLiLoNicoleSpears club should organized a group intervention and get guest speakers like Drew, and may be Robert Downey Jr. Any other nominations for super star "straighten up your act" motivational speakers? (P.S. Hippies aren't feckless, they're dirty!)

Liz Kelly: Honestly, is she required to help them? Certainly she could try if she was into some kind of "Pay It Forward" construct. But one could argue that Drew found her way out of her own addictions by herself (or at least out of the spotlight) and maybe the only thing that can save LL or Britney or Paris is their own desire.

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McLean, Va.: How about a Lizzie category for celebrities whose pets are smarter then they are?

Liz Kelly: Woof!
Page the dog likes that idea.

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Abdul, Jackson and on line: Randy Jackson was/is a very talented guitarist. Paula Abdul is a very successful choreographer. Everyone listened to her music in the 80's. It was not great but it was popular. The clickster that wrote in is young.

My husband grew up an hour from the city. We met in the midwest. He never heard the word "on" line until he heard it in a movie.

Liz Kelly: True and Simon was a successful guy in his own right. But not one of the three was an A or even B-list celeb before "Idol." Maybe Paula was once in the late '80s, but I think maybe she was sleeping in some kind of cryogenic chamber from the time she filmed the video for "Rush, Rush" till the debut of "Idol."

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Your sub: Can we get Mr. Liz to sub for you on Tuesday? Kane on 99.5 got his wife to come in when one of his other DJs was out. Have Mr. Liz fill in for you. Then we can ask him all kinds of fun questions.

Liz Kelly: I'm going on vacation with Mr. Liz. Otherwise, I think that'd be a fabulous idea.

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LOL: There are some things I can manage in my dottering years -- LOL and ROTFL. But when people start using numbers instead of words, I lose focus.

Liz Kelly: Ya, I can get those two but I am lost when it comes to the text messages my 15-year-old niece sometimes sends.

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George Clooney: I heard on the radio this morning that he is courting Reese Witherspoon. I think I like the match. Discuss.

Liz Kelly: Nae. Reese is busy with Jake Gyllenhaal these days. Why I was just looking at pix of the two together this morning.

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Chicago, Ill.: Re: Gritty Performances

I nominate Ashley Judd for Bug.

Liz Kelly: For your consideration, Ashley Judd is infested with parasitic insects.

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Port of Spain, Trinidad: Dear Liz,

What movie are you most hoping to see this summer?

Liz Kelly: Well, I may have already watched it: "Waitress." Fabulous movie, but I'm open.
That's it for today, folks. I'll be back tomorrow for the usual Friday drill, then gone till Monday the 11th. Celebritology will be updated daily, tho, so make sure to click every day.

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