No Group Discount For Autism Care

Randy Gaston, father of autistic triplets Zachary, Hunter and Nicholas, was online Monday, June 4 at noon ET to discuss the challenges of raising the three 6-year-olds.

A transcript follows.

____________________

Randy Gaston: Good Afternoon,

Thanks for coming to our online chat, we appreciate all the questions and support from the many who have e-mailed us and posted comments about Autism. We want to answer as many questions as possible and hope to help out as much as we can.

Also, to help continuing raising awareness about Autism we have created a website http://www.autismaid.org that features interviews and articles about Autism.

Thanks....
Randy and Lynn Gaston

_______________________

Natick, Mass.: Hi Randy. My heart goes out to you and your wife. I am intimately familiar with the challenges of raising kids with special needs. My twins have Fragile X syndrome, which is the only known genetic link to autism. Have your sons been tested for Fragile X?

Randy Gaston: Hello in Natick Mass... Thanks for your question! Our sons have never been tested for Fragile X.

_______________________

Arlington, Va.: Mr. Gaston -- Good luck to you, your wife and your sons. Thanks for sharing your story.

Randy Gaston: Arlington VA.... Thanks for your support and taking the time to read about us.

_______________________

Arlington, Va.: Thank you for taking the time to share your story and answer questions. I know that the causes of autism are not clear, and there are many theories about why there seem to be more autistic children. Do you have an opinion, or a suspicion, as to what factors contributed to your sons' autism?

Randy Gaston: Hello in Arlington, thanks for the question and supporting Autism. My wife Lynn and I have often thought about different reasons as too why our sons have Autism (there are many different schools of thought as too what could have caused it).

But at this time we have focused our energies on therapies and in our sons daily lives instead of worrying about the cause. Sorry if this sounds vague, we just don't have the answer! But, we really would love to know.

_______________________

Cincinnati: My name is Jackie and I have autistic identical twin boys. My husband and I found out when they were close to 2 and they are now 4. How do you deal with the mental stress and feeling so overwhelmed all the time? I always feel as if there's so much to do and I am never doing enough for them.

Also, what support do you turn to? I understand babysitting must be hard, and I thank the fact that my boys sleep well at night, so we get that time, but do you go to support groups or anything like that?

Randy Gaston: Hello in Cincinnati, you have a great support group in Anderson "Families with ASD" run by Julia & Greg Smith (Great people) --- they are an amazing resource for you to turn too.

We basically rely on each other; we give each other breaks and take the kids out apart so that we can get a little respite. We definitely know what you are going through!

As for support groups, we don't have the time too attend these meetings. We'd like to though.

_______________________

Anonymous: Not a question but a comment. As one of three siblings, with a sister with autism and a brother with Asperger's Syndrome (high-functioning autism), I had an intimate view of life with autism. Somehow, my parents managed and their marriage is still strong. You have my utmost admiration for raising three boys with autism, and not just raising them but advocating so strongly for them. Hopefully one day the system will allow for more assistance with care for the "disabled," as well as more equitable coverage for mental illness in general.

Randy Gaston: Anonymous.... thank you for your support and kind words! It keeps us going. Best to your family!

_______________________

Parkville, Md.: You and you wife will succeed as parents as your boys grow they will change. You're already on the ball.

Randy Gaston: Hello in Parkville..... Thanks for the comments. We are really trying our best to make a difference in our sons lives. We also try to help others as well, we know how difficult it is for many people. Thanks for your comments. Good luck to your family!

_______________________

Annapolis, Md.: Your story was very touching. When did you first start to notice some of the signs of autism?

Randy Gaston: Hello in Annapolis, At age 2 my wife Lynn started to notice that our sons weren't making their developmental milestones and losing speech that they had learned. It was not easy to get the boys diagnosed because triplets are often developmentally delayed anyway due to prematurity. So, we urge any one who has a suspicion to have them tested asap. Early intervention is crucial! Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Bethesda, Md.: When do you suggest that parents have their children tested for autism...did you notice it right away or was it a gradual realization?

Randy Gaston: Hello in Bethesda, get your child tested as soon as you think in your heart that something is wrong! It won't hurt to have them tested and it will give you piece of mind. Many well meaning people will tell you to wait, but don't. Do what you feel is right! Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Damascus, Md.: Hi,

I live in Montgomery County. I attended the Autism Expo back in April. In your opinion, are there are more services in Howard County than of Montgomery County? My daughter is 3 1/2, and is currently in a Pre-K program.

Thank you!

Randy Gaston: Hello in Damascus, first of all, thanks for attending the Autism Expo in 2007, we hope it helped you! Every county is different and everyone's experience is different. So what might work for some may not work for others.

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Natick, Mass., again..: Hi Randy. I just wanted to give you a good fragile X Web site so you can research it. While reading your story it sounded to me like your boys have many symptoms of FX. Here is the Web site www.fragilex.org. The test for FX is a blood test that takes about 4 weeks to get back the results. Good luck!

Randy Gaston: Hello Natick again,

Thanks for the link! Will check it out when we have time.

_______________________

Odenton, Md.: Have you ever talked to any of the Codys? The family has three boys with autism (not triplets) and they live on Long Island, N.Y. They have a center at SUNY-Stony Brook named after them.

And not to sound ignorant, but why can't you keep the kids up later in order for them to sleep later? Obviously they're tired at 8 since they're up at 2-3 a.m..

Randy Gaston: Hello in Odenton, we have tried to shift the bedtimes later which only backfired and they woke up at the same time.

We have never heard of the Cody's, do you have any contact information for them?

_______________________

Omaha, Neb.: Thank you for doing this chat and sharing your family's story. I have two questions, first, does your sons' mutual autism help them relate to one another in a way they do not relate to non-autistic children or adults? Second, you mentioned the challenges of verbal development with each of your sons - what are your hopes/goals for their development, what are the benchmarks by which you gauge their success? (In the article, I think you are quoted as saying "If one of them said 'I have a stomach ache' that would be great"). Thank you again for your candor and taking the time to speak with us.

Randy Gaston: Hello in Omaha, thanks for your questions. Our sons do notice each other and there is some parallel play. They recently began interacting a little bit more with each other. Zachary has begun to realize when his brothers have left the room and now wants to be close to them.

There is definitely a bond between the boys. Our goals are to get meaningful speech and be able to communicate their wants and needs verbally. Thanks for your question and best to you and your family!

_______________________

Ashburn, Va.: Hi Randy,

Thanks for taking the time to share your experience with your children. I also am familiar with raising a child with special needs. My wife and I are trying to prepare our daughter for her future but as a father not sure what that will be. There will come a day when we can no longer take care of her and not sure of the next step. Have you and your wife talked but this or done any planning?

Randy Gaston: Hello Ashburn, your question touches us deeply as we too fear of unkown future for our sons. We are hoping that our sons live independently but we also know that atleast one of our sons (or all of them) will be with us forever.

We are looking at various resources for long-term planning. Thank you for this question.... Good luck to you and your family!

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Who is going to take care of your children when you can't? Are you planning to have another child so that he/she will take care of them?

Randy Gaston: Hello in DC. My wife and I don't plan to have any more children. We are looking at a few family members who are younger than us who can take care of our sons (if need be). Thanks for your question best to you and your family!

_______________________

Alexandria, Va.: My heart goes out to you and your family. I am the parent of a son who was born prematurely, about 26 years ago. It has been a struggle, as he still needs a lot of extra help. Sometimes I feel that I'm doing my best, which is not enough. But I wouldn't trade him for the world.

I know it is really hard with three, but hang in there. God has a blessing, you may not realize it now. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Randy Gaston: Hello in Alexandria, Thank you so much for the kind words and keeping us in your prayers! We appreciate your kindness. Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Boulder, Colo. : Like the previous posters, I would like to express my admiration for you and your wife for not only raising triplets (which is quite a challenge in itself), but triplets with autism -- though I am sure there are many joys and blessings that lessen the challenges! I recently tutored a boy with autism using the methods of the Son Rise program, so I am curious as to what type(s) of therapies you use for them. Thank you, and take care!

Randy Gaston: Hello Boulder, Well, we have tried ABA, Verbal Behavior and Floortime. We have tried to use Pecs, sign-language with some successes. But, remember with autism what works for one child may not work for another. And, we will keep trying different therapies until our sons reach their potential.

Thank you for your question! Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Alexandria, Va.: Mr. Gaston,

I am wondering if your sons received their vaccinations, and whether you noticed any correlation between the timing of their vaccines and any onset or symptoms of autism.

Thanks. I wish you all the very best.

Randy Gaston: Hi Alexandria, our sons were vaccinated. This is a mine field question because we just don't know what caused it. Sure, we started noticing the symptoms around the same time frame when they received their vaccinations, but, we just don't know.

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

N.VA: I read the article and I had a question. It states that Nicolas is not speaking. It does not mention if you are using other methods of communication. Are you using sign language as a method to communicate with Nicholas? If not, I strongly suggest that you consider that in additional to the speech therapy they are receiving. Your other boys could benefit from it as well. My son was diagnosed with austim when he was 1 1/2 year old. We used sign language in addition to speaking as way of communicating with him. Now he is almost 15 and he was in speech therapy for some difficulty with pronunciation of some letters until recently.

Randy Gaston: Hello in N. Va. yes we use sign language. We also use PECS. We are trying to use as many different therapies as possible to get a word out of him. We know he's in there and we're not going to give up. Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Parkville, Md.: I have a high functioning autistic son. He was diagnosed at KKI at 7 years old. His school zoned elementary school refused to accept the diagnoses until last year when he got placed in a school that could meet his needs; he did well this year and is graduating on Wednesday to sixth grade. He's smart but he has to choose to do the lessons or work with a teacher at his pace. He doesn't like to be given answers. He has one friend in the neighborhood but has to decide if he wants to play with friend. No other kids are allowed in my home it bothers him. He has to prepare for changes to his day for it to workout. He can't handle crowds or chaotic environment, he hates field trips. He loves to bake and cook, he loves American Indian books, he loves National Geographic. He use to love his picture being taken; now he forbids us from doing so. We're not allowed to talk about him to friends, relatives or strangers he becomes irate and shuts down.

Randy Gaston: Hello in Parkville, Our hearts go out to you. It's a challenge having a child whose on the spectrum and trying to get a diagnosis. Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Damascus, Md., again: Hi Randy,

Thank you for taking the time to do this!

I have some other questions: have you tried these other sources to get funding for your sons? It is United Health Care, I believe and the Jill Fox Fund. Are they on the Autism Waiver?

Thank you....I am looking forward to next year's expo!

Randy Gaston: Hi Damascus, we receive NO FUNDING. We are on the MD Autism Waiver Waiting List, but we don't expect services for at least 10 years. We didn't know about the Jill Fox Fund, please feel free to forward us data at info@autismexpo.com. We'd appreciate any help at all.

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Fairfax, Va.: Do you think that vaccines administered to newborns children containing heavy metals such as mercury, increase the rate of autism occurring in children?

Randy Gaston: Fairfax, thanks for your questions. If we had to do it all over we would have spread out their vaccinations and wouldn't want more than one a visit.

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Silver Spring, Md.: Just a comment. It is interesting to read about finding baby sitters. I have family in San Diego and there is a concept of "respite care." My niece is paid by the county to baby sit children with special needs including autism. This gives the parents a time to go to movies, out to dinner or just relax. My niece says there are times when she goes to baby-sit and the parents just stay home and have a good "down time" while she cares for their autistic son.

This seems to be a service that should be offered in more places.

Randy Gaston: Silver Spring MD, when's that service coming to Maryland?

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Hunt Valley, Md.: You are very dedicated parents. Your sons are lucky.

Did you and your wife struggle with mixed feelings about having had your children? Do you sometimes wish you had opted not to have children at all? How do you deal with those feelings?

Randy Gaston: Hunt Valley, we've never thought twice about our sons being born. We've never once wished that they weren't here! Even though we have a huge burden and it's a difficult life, we love our children very much! We wouldn't change us or them for the world!

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Cody Web site: The Cody Center

Good luck.

Randy Gaston: Thanks for the link!!!

_______________________

Parkville, Md.: How do I apply for benefits for my autistic son. We currently do not receive any help for him and he needs social therapy and emotional therapy. He is 11 year old and get a little therapy in school.

Randy Gaston: Parkville,MD, Try the Baltimore County ARC or Maryland Developmental Disabilities Administrations (DDA) you can google their names. They have websites for this type information.

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

MoCo: I do not recall ever growing up with any kids that had these diagnoses. Is it that the disorder is now more prevalent, or just that it is more easily recognized?

What are possible explanations for such a surge in this disorder?

Best to you & your family

Randy Gaston: MoCo,

We have to be honest, we never remember this from our childhood either. We remember a few kids who stood out, but not to this degree. They all deserve the same childhood we had, if not better.

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Seabrook, Tex.: Hello,

After reading of your family's experiences in rearing three little ones with autism and your constant search for answers, I wondered if you have researched any information about chelation? A good beginning site is: www.healing-arts.org/children/holmes.htm. I am currently undergoing heavy metal removal with chelation and understand there have been some improvements experienced with autistic children. I personally have no knowledge of it but have always wondered about the possible connection between the upsurge of autism and the use of mercury in vaccinations. Best of luck.

Randy Gaston: Hello Seabrook,

Thanks for the information and link! We will take a look at their site.

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Cincinnati: Twins mom here again, thanks so much for the name of Julia and Greg Smith. I'll look them up.

Nice to know others out there are going through a lot of the same things we are. Makes you feel a bit better. Best of luck and I can understand how you feel most days. Hang in there and we'll do the same!

Randy Gaston: Cincinnat, please visit their website familieswithasd.org they are also running an Autism Expo in the fall.

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Laurel, Md.: My sister in law has twin boys aged 6 in Austin, Tex.. One is diagnosed with Asperger's...

Doesn't everyone wonder why so many boys are affected with this?

What research groups are out there working on the cause?

Do you know?

Randy Gaston: Hello in Laurel,

Typically boys develop slower than girls. There are several groups working on research including: Kennedy Krieger Institute, National Institute of Mental Health and Duke University to name a few.

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Hi Randy -- I deeply admire the patience and fortitude you show in your love for your three adorable sons.

My daughter teaches early intervention for a wide variety of autistic and other learning disabled preschoolers in a Fairfax County elementary school...right now she is young and enthusiastic, but in 10 years or so she might want to parlay her experience into a different setting where she can help greater numbers of kids outside the classroom.

Do you have any insight as to what areas or occupational fields are emerging that would benefit from an experienced educator of autistic preschoolers?

Randy Gaston: Hello in DC, we commend your daughter, working with special needs children is difficult and involves a lot of love and patience! We hope to see more people in the future turning toward this field and helping many. One of the greatest needs are 1-to-1 therapist or Educational Consultants.

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Takoma Park, Md.: I think that public acceptance and growing awareness of disabilities has made them appear more common. After all, IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities in Education Act) is less than 25 years old. Prior to that, children were shunted into general special education classrooms, specials schools (if their parents could afford it), institutionalized, or kept at home. As the parent of a special needs child (as a result of a chromosome disorder) I am all too aware that being a parent of a special needs child (mine is medically fragile) as well as her case manager is a full-time job. There are quite a number of private organizations to which you can apply for money. ARC of Montgomery County and the JCC organize sessions for parents.

Randy Gaston: Hello in Takoma Park, thank you for your suggestions!

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: I noticed one of the kids is wearing pull-ups? Are his self-help skills behind as well? I have a 3-year-old boy who's going through the testing process right now and he's not potty trained yet. But I don't recall this as a sign of autism?

Randy Gaston: Hello in DC, some of the self-help skills are staggered. Him being autistic really didn't have anything to do with him being potty-trained or not. Our sons know the steps and we practice it daily! We are making progress.

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Arlington, Va.: Are your sons cooperative in receiving ordinary medical treatment? Are they able to tolerate regular dentistry?

Randy Gaston: Arlington,

Actually, they are very cooperative with doctors and dentists. But, this wasn't always the case, it seems to that the more they go to the doctors each visit gets easier.

Best to you and your family!

_______________________

Randy Gaston: Thank you again for your questions... We appreciate your feedback and support and we wish everyone the best.

In the future you can visit our website at www.autismaid.org or by e-mailing us at info@autismexpo.com.

Thanks......
Randy and Lynn Gaston

_______________________

Submit a Question or Comment

_______________________

Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.