Column Archive | Sign Up for Weekly E-Mail Newsletter
Friday, June 8, 2007; 2:00 PM
Need advice about how to handle your personal finances? Whether the struggle is saving for retirement, organizing your bank files, talking about money responsibility with your spouse or loved one, Post personal finance columnist Michelle Singletary offers her advice and answers your tough questions.
Read Michelle's latest columns, check out her Color of Money Book Club selection archive or sign up for her weekly e-mail newsletter.
|
|
____________________
Michelle Singletary: Welcome all. It's so wonderfully hot where I am right now. Sure wish I had a deck. But alas haven't saved enough just yet. That's called delayed gratification. I preach it all the time but sure hurts when you have to take your own advice.
Anyway, let's get started.
_______________________
How Much is Enough?: I am 52, in a 20 year relationship, the house is 2/3 paid off and the car will be paid off in a year or so.
I have accumulated $500K in my 403b and will receive a pension roughly at 50 percent of my earnings within five years, benefits included.
I say this humbly, but folks can get lost in saving as they more commonly do in debt. I was one of those guys who started saving when I first got my professional job and have been there 29 years now.
I would love your thoughts and reactions. Thank you. Your strong thoughts on debt can do nothing but help our society.
Michelle Singletary: Hey I hear you. I love the saving more then the spending. But you are right, there has to be balance. After you've set up all the financial things you should (emergency fund, retirement fund, college fund if you've got kids, life happens fund (that's for those car repairs, etc.) AND you've gotten rid of all your consumer debt then yes you most certainly should have fun with the money you work so hard to earn.
_______________________
San Francisco, Calif.: Hi Michelle,
Much shorter version of a question I submitted- does placing a fraud alert with the 3 credit agencies itself hurt my credit score?
Michelle Singletary: Hi. No placing a fraud alert on your credit reports does not affect your credit score. And you should place it on all three if you think you are the victim of identity theft.
But please keep in mind, some lenders may still overlook or ignore the alert. It's not foolproof. I see you live in California. You may want to consider getting a security freeze instead. I just wrote about what that is (go to the archives of my column in the biz section).
To find out the details of a security freeze, which blocks credits from even pulling your credit reports or credit scores and thereby making it very difficult for someone to get credt in your name go to www.financialprivacynow.org.
In your state if you are a victim of identity theft it doesn't cost you anything to put a freeze on your files.
_______________________
Arlington, Va.: Dear Michelle,
This is a moot point now because I did not act and the decision was made for me but I still wanted to ask what you would have done if you were I:
My department store credit card, with an already outrageous 21.6 percent interest rate, recently announced that it was increasing its a percentage point. If I wanted to keep my account with them, I had to agree to this increase. If I did not agree to this increase, I could advise them within 25 days of the notice, and they would maintain the current rate until I paid off my balance, but would cancel my account.
I have just about a $1,000 balance on this card, which I am paying off at $100 a month (no more because I have a lot of other debt). Instead of canceling the account to save myself the extra one percent of interest payment, I kept it because it is one of my oldest credit accounts, something like 15 years now, and I decided that that history was worth more than the relatively small dollar amount extra I have to pay.
Given my circumstances (I know that you would never have been in them yourself), would you have recommended what I did or canceling the account?
Thanks! Andrea
P.s. I have been able to refrain from using the card for several months. I can smell the end of that high rate and can't wait to taste it.
Michelle Singletary: Well, honestly I'm not perfect and I've certainly made my share of bad money decisions. So in the grand scheme of things you didn't make a terrible bad mood. You are right that having the card for that long does positively impact your score. But here's the thing about credit card interest rates (including those department stores) doesn't matter really what the interest rate is IF you pay the bill off every month. So unless you pay an annual fee, I wouldn't worry about the hike in the rate.
However if I were you, I would go right back to making that large payment every month (in fact even more) and get that debt paid off ASAP. With that high of a rate you are still losing ground big time every month you keep a balance. Attack that thing like a bear swiping for a fish in the river!!!!!!
_______________________
Alexandria, Va.: I found someone that I think I want to spend the rest of my life with and am happy about it, but here's the problem: we have very different socio economic backgrounds and he's from another, much poorer, country. Finally, after years of digging out of school and consumer debt, I have managed to amass $300K in retirement savings and DP for house (just moved to new city). He'll come with nothing and I'll likely put him through school, which is great. Everyone tells me that (especially as a woman), I should get a prenup with respect to the current savings. I know generally how you feel about prenups (don't like 'em), but would you consider it in a more extreme case like mine?
Michelle Singletary: Actually I think it's more important to talk to the guy you are thinking of marrying. What does he think? What I don't like about prenup is that it says to your intended, "Hey, I got my stuff, you got your stuff let's make sure if this game doesn't go well we leave with our own stuff. Great way to start what is supposed to be the most important relationship in your life. Besides people will make arrangements to keep their money away from their spouse and then freely expose children, friends and relatives to them. So you keep your money away but not the people.
Marriage is about merging. Unless you have some assets you want to pass along to children from a previous relationship or marriage I wouldn't get a prenup. I would instead spend a great deal of time in premarital counseling discussing ALL the issues of marrying someone from a different culture, the economic imbalance, etc. And when I say a great amount of time, I mean not just a few sessions.
_______________________
Rockville: I just paid off another credit card! Yay! X down and x-1 to go (you don't need to know the real numbers -- I am canceling them as I pay them off)! I should pay another off next month and another the month after that. This is really becoming fun to watch the shrinking balances.
Michelle Singletary: Oh I'm so happy for you. Isn't it just a wonderful feeling not to be burden by that debt?
_______________________
Thank you: Just wanted to thank you for an article you wrote a while ago about weddings. I agonized over not attending a good friend's destination wedding. We would have seriously depleted our savings and I just wasn't ready to leave my small children behind while I went out of the country. I helped throw an engagement party for her beforehand and let her know I wasn't sure if we could come as soon as I ran the numbers. But when I told her I couldn't come, she wouldn't speak with me. In emails, she questioned my reasons and made me feel like a lame mom who couldn't jetset.
Reading your column helped me feel better about my decision. I think about what you wrote whenever I'm feeling bad about not attending. Thanks!
Michelle Singletary: Oh my you poor thing. But you know what first I'm glad the column helped. And second, really you didn't lose a friend, you lost a louse.
Any real friend should understand if you honestly say, "you know I love you but we just can't afford to go." And I mean you did throw her a party. So you know what throw out any bad feelings you may have. You did what was right for your family financially and that is your job as a mom, wife, friend.
Besides you have a friend in me :)
_______________________
Honolulu, Hawaii: Who should buy long term care insurance?
How much money do I need to self insure?
How to evaluate the various plans?
What are the top three plans?
Thank you.
Michelle Singletary: Wow. This would take a long answer and I don't have enough space or time in this forum. May I suggest you visit www.aarp.org. The group has a lot of really good information on buying long ter care insurance. I certainly plan on buying it when the time is right (in about 15 years). The one thing should should consider is will you have assets that you don't want to spend down should you need long term nursing home care. If you are nearly broke now, you may not be able to afford this insurance and you would quickly qualify for state aid.
Michelle Singletary: And for those who don't know long-term care insurance can cover the cost of nursing homes, assisted-living facilities and in-home care. In most cases, the insurance will cover expenses for those who need assistance with such daily activities as eating, dressing and bathing, or who have a severe cognitive impairment such as Alzheimer's disease.
This is pricey insurance. Depending on your age and the options you choose, yearly premiums can range from $1,000 to as much as $8,000.
Before you buy please read "A Shopper's Guide to Long-Term Care Insurance," produced by the National Association of Insurance Commissioners (www.naic.org).
_______________________
Columbia, Mo.: I recently graduated from grad school with $18,000 in debt. Now that I'm in the working world, I'm starting to think about returning to grad school to complete a Ph.D. How long would you recommend I work before I go back to grad school? Or does it even matter since my income may (or as I've discovered, may not) increase with graduate education? Can you delay payments on earlier student loans if you go back to school?
Michelle Singletary: Honestly, I would return when I've paid off that $18,000. And then I would save for that next degree or look around for an employer willing to for for the advanced degree (in exchange for service) or at least pay some of it.
I'm just telling you almost weekly I get e-mail from folks who have spend thousands and thousands of dollars for grad school only to finish and not earn enough to pay that debt of before they turn 60.
_______________________
Landover, Md.: I have a question concerning raising your exemptions on your W-4. I needed to catch up on some bills and bring just a few things up to current balance and I was wondering by raising my exemptions or having too little tax taken out of my bi-weekly paycheck, how does that effect you come tax season when it's time to file. Will that mean I will get a smaller tax return or would I wind up owing? Thanks for your help!
Michelle Singletary: When you increase your withholding allowances you reduce the amount of taxes taken out of your pay.
Now, you really ought to run the numbers to see how many allowances you should take based on your tax situation, such as the type and amount of deductions you take. I wouldn't advise doing this just to keep more money if it means you will have a huge tax bill next year. If you dont' have enough taken out you may face a penality.
So go to www.irs.gov. Search for the withholding calculator and let that help you figure out how many allowances you should take. However, it's an estimate so if your tax situation changes thu the year you may end up getting back money or owning. Still it's a good way to make sure you aren't paying more taxes then you should so that you can have more money in your paycheck.
_______________________
North Carolina: Just wanted to say that I love these discussions! Your advice is sound! Keep it up!
Michelle Singletary: Why thank you so very much!
_______________________
Portland, Ore.: Thanks for your sound advice. I am a 30-something attorney with an emergency fund, house with about 1/3 equity in it, my husband and I are maxing out 401ks and IRAs and still investing a decent chunk a month. We are in a great position financially, but I don't know if I'm cut out for the work I'm doing now for the long term. I'm tired of the long hours and stress. However, after growing up with NO money I'm torn between downshifting and making less money and working my butt off and saving like a madwoman while I can. I feel ungrateful or like I'd be making a mistaking throwing away such a high paying job. On the other hand, I only have one life and want to enjoy it more than I can with this type of work. Do you have any thoughts? I feel guilty even writing to you about this "problem" when others would love to be able to have such a choice.
Michelle Singletary: I love your question because it does address a "real" problem for many people men and women.
And you know I so get that feeling you have. I grew up poor and have worked my whole life not to struggle financially.
But I also believe you should love what you do for a living. After all you spend so much time doing it.
I would gladly downsize my life if I didn't love this job with the Post and the other 7 jobs I have (smile).
I'm not sure if you have kids, but trust me they suffer when their parent is overworked and unhappy.
So do this. Sit down with your husband. Do a net worth statement. Go over your budget if you have one. If not get one right away. I've created a template you can find on the Post Web site.
Also, look around for a job you would like. Figure out what the annual salary would be.
Then once you have all this information (net worth statement, budget, info about new job) see if you can downsize into a job you would feel better about.
You may have enough savings, assets, etc. to make this work. However, you will probably have to give up some things (eating out, lavish vacations, etc.). But again weigh that against the peace of mind you would have with a job that suits you better.
_______________________
long-term care insurance: I just wanted to second your recommendation to choose long-term care insurance carefully.
I was reading an article not long ago about how some of these companies are taking terrible advantage of older folks who pay thousands in premiums and then find that when they need the care the company finds all kinds of excuses not to pay out. This includes some of the largest companies offering the programs.
Michelle Singletary: You are so right.
Or they sell policies to folks who can't keep them up and then all that money is lost.
_______________________
Montgomery County: My daughter will be graduating from elementary school and moving on to middle school next year. The middle school has pretty low test scores and has a reputation of having some rough kids. At the same time, the principal has recently won awards, it has a nice diversity and a few of my daughter's friends will be going there.
Many people I know are forking out at least $100,000 to move to comparable houses in other parts of the county where the schools are perceived to be better. I would be financially strapped if I did this, but it is manageable, possibly.
I know you're big both on getting a good education for your kids and being financially responsible. Where do you fall on this question?
Michelle Singletary: I ALWAYS fall on doing what you can afford and not possibly.
I'll be honest I have all three of my kids in private school. BUT my husband and I evaluate that decision every single year and weigh it against our financial situation. If the money gets tight or we coudln't also save for the college education we would put them in public schools. And if we did you better believe we would be in that principals face, get their tutoring, etc. to make sure they aren't losing out.
_______________________
Alexandria, Va.: do you think a 85 year old man in good health should be dealing with a large portfolio of volatile stocks? his retirement plans are in real estate
Michelle Singletary: If you mean his entire retirement plan in real estate stocks. Nope that's not smart. He should be diversified. Doesn't mean at his age he shouldn't be in stocks but his portfolio needs to be balanced!
Get thee to a good fee-only financial planner.
_______________________
Alexandria: Another marriage/inheritance type question here. My husband and I, mid-50's, childless, retired, have substantial assets, including two homes (regular and beach home); retirement savings upwards of 1 million, etc. We enjoy our life together, but we're going around in circles about how to do our wills. Other than two nieces who are younger than college age, for whom we want to set aside enough for college in case the parents don't quite manage it, we don't particularly feel that we owe adult nieces and nephews a substantial chunk of change. But we want to arrange it so that we leave our assets to each other first, and then upon the second death distribute some part to relatives but the majority to charities. How do we set up our wills to do that? Revocable living trusts, or are there other methods?
Michelle Singletary: I'm not an expert in this area so I would highly recommend you sit down with an good estate attorney (ask around for recommendations).
Aside from charities, may I recommend you set up trust that would help extended family members go to college. That's what I did for an elderly aunt, who like you doesn't have a lot of direct heirs. In her will, part of the money will be set up in a trust in which money will be distributed to any heir down the line for generations to help them with college. There are rules for the distrubition of course. Can't touch the principal and those heirs applying have to maintain a certain GPA.
But I just thought how wonderful it would be to set up a sort of family college scholarship.
_______________________
Washington, D.C.: Michelle- you advised the poster who was considering marrying someone from a different culture to get counseling and really think about it. My comment isn't totally money-related but I just wanted to second what you said. I have married friends in the same position, and they send a fair amt of money to her parents in her home country, they spend all of their vacation there and none with his family, etc. Even if you get a pre-nup, there are other ways that your money can find its way out.
Michelle Singletary: Amen!
I tell folks make sure you are equally yoked or you will be pulled away.
_______________________
Boston: Hello Michelle,
I really value your advice, but I had sent a question in once whose answer I found worrying. Essentially you said that if two people get together, one has a house the other does not (and debt to boot), when you get married you should refinance and put it in both names. Basically you are saying the person with the house should "give" half of it to the other - since downpayment, opportunity costs, years of mortgage payment have already gone by... is that really fair? Is that what you are saying? What happens if things don't work out?
Michelle Singletary: If this is how anyone feels. Stay single.
Keep your stuff, downpayment, equity whatever.
And I mean that.
When I got married I had a huge amt of money that WE used for the downpayment on our house. Never once did it occur to me that that money was just mine or that if we divorced he would have to give some of it back.
If you don't want to share with the person you are shariang everythign else with (your life, your bed, children, friends, family) stay your butt single.
_______________________
Trenton, N.J.: I'm self-cleaning my bad credit. How much and how fast will the score increase and improve my line of credit? Also, do businesses take into account that although my score is low, I've finally paid off the bad dept?
Michelle Singletary: Not sure but are you asking me if you can get MORE credit if you score improves?
Unless you are talking about buying a home, stay debt free. Give yourself some time and pay all your bills going forward on time and you credit scores will increase. How long? Can take about a year.
So don't take on anymore consumer debt. Just wait this thing out and over time your score will improve.
_______________________
Philadelphia: For Montgomery County: are you worried about the low test scores? Or the (at least perceived) bullying, etc., in the school? Because you can help try to combat both. First, even if the school has low test scores, there may be an underlying reason that is not immediately obvious - for example, are there a high number of immigrants, who may be coming from a different educational system and so in year X are learning, say, biology instead of chemistry, which throws off their scores? Are the scores low because the teachers are teaching to kids' abilities, and not to pass a test? Is the average score low, but there are kids with super-high scores? Can you tutor your child, or arrange for an honor student from a nearby high school to do so? As for the bullying, etc., if you're at all close to the school, volunteer during your lunch to be a hall monitor, lunchroom parent, library helper, whatever to get inside and get to know the kids. It sounds as though the school is on the right path, and the principal would probably appreciate the extra support. (And if the principal doesn't, then, well, maybe you do need to find a way to pay for something else.)
Michelle Singletary: All good questions and suggestions. Thanks!
_______________________
Bethesda, Md.: I have heard people recommend that you try to negotiate lower interest rates with credit card companies when you are trying to pay them off. I was wondering how somebody went about such a negotiation b/c it seems that they would have no leverage and the credit card company would have no incentive to lower the rate.
Michelle Singletary: You: Hello, my name is so and so and I'm in financial trouble and trying to pay off my debts. I need some interest rate relief. Do you have a credit workout department or a supervisor I can talk to so that I can continue paying by bill. I'm afraid I may not be able to keep up my payments with this high interest rate.
It may work. It may not work. Call be honest, polite and keep askng for people up the chain.
_______________________
Fairfax, Va.: Dear Michelle,
I plan to purchase a car next month and I am attempting to raise my credit score to get a better interest rate. My credit score is low to begin with as I got into trouble with a store card that I had for 13 years and have I have since paid off and closed. I received my credit score today from Experian and it states that my current credit card limits are low which is hurting my credit score. One of my cards is $3500, another $1250 and the third $700. I can only assume it is the $700 card. Is it wise at this point to call and ask for a credit limit increase on that card? Or will that also hurt my credit as I am assuming they will do a credit check? I originally planned to pay off the $700 card at the end of this month and close it as it is not needed, but I have been told that will also hurt my credit especially right before I request a loan. How do you keep it all straight??
Michelle Singletary: Help me out here. Are you saying you have credit cards with these balances:
Card No. 1 $3,500
Card No. 2 $1,200
Card No. 3 $700.
If so you should not be buying a car. Try to hold onto the one you got until you get rid of that debt.
Now if you mean to say you only have one card with $700 on it and that is maxing out that card, yes that situation can bring down your score.
If the other cards are maxed out that brings down your score.
You don't need to have your limits raised. You just need to pay off any cards you have, wait about 6 months or a year so that your score can increase and you can get a decent interest rate on a used car.
_______________________
RE: Long term care: I have the same questions about long term care, but with a twist. I'm young (think 30 years or so from retirement) and have several health problems, some of which have been difficult to diagnose. My mother is afraid of my becoming incapacitated and wants me to have long term care insurance. I'm just not sure its right for me. I don't think the AARP cite will help - and other cites I can look at? thanks!
Michelle Singletary: Look at the sites. They will help you. If at this young age you anticipate some major health issues that will require care sooner rather than later you might consider it.
But if you are only guessing and it might be 30 years before you need this care don't pay for insurance you may need in 30 years based on your guessing.
Look up that information.
_______________________
Loans and grad school: To the earlier poster: Yes, you will be eligible to defer payments on most federally-backed student loans while you are in grad school.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't take Michelle's advice. But much depends on the field you are going into. The job market in English and history, for instance, is very bad and you would likely add a large amount of debt; the job market in chemistry is much better and you should be able to get through grad school on grants and stipends rather than loans. Good luck!
Michelle Singletary: Right you are.
_______________________
Brooklyn, N.Y.: Hi Michelle,
I come from a family of six raised by our single mother. My mother, now retired, was a very hardworking woman, sometimes working 16 hour shifts several times a week to keep us afloat. She worked in the hospital as a nurse's aide and did plenty of overtime. She did save a little bit of money in a 403B, but lent most of it to my brother, who now refuses to pay it back. So after retiring, she has no money saved and living off her pension and social security check. Neither is enough and she's terribly in debt. She has never owned a home or car. She also hasn't put any of us through college. I'm the youngest (35 y.o), i'm the only college graduate, and I put myself through school. She has accrued debt from wanting to maintain her mother status...shopping for everyone's house and falling for every sob story told. My two older sisters are just like her...they have nothing to show for the years they've worked, and owe ridiculous money. My three brothers however, have done very well for themselves. I found myself going down that path until I came across people like yourself who taught me what she neglected to. You've thrown me a life preserver when I was sinking, and I thank you.
My question is is there such a thing as a generational curse? because I feel that's what this is. It stems from my great grandmother to date.
Thanks for everything you do!!!
Michelle Singletary: There are generationally curses or legacies families pass on.
Fortunately for me, one of my family legacies is a fear and loathing of debt. But there were other curses I had to break -- drinking for one.
But you can break the curse. It will be hard and some people will cuss you out but DO IT for yourself and any children you may have.
I'm teaching my children to be good stewards over what God will or has given them.
The first step to breaking such curses is awareness, which you seem to have conquered.
_______________________
For the unhappy attorney: OK, it's tough to beat the salary you can earn at a top national firm, but even if that is what you are doing, those places chew you up and spit you out before your time anyway. The good news is that as an attorney you can turn your hand to an amazing range of things, some of which are very well paid indeed. you don't have to practice law to get the benefit of your JD. And being miserable in your work is too high a price to pay.
Michelle Singletary: I so agree. People do what you love. Use your gifts wisely and you will be rewarded financially, spiritually, and physically.
The day I start hating preaching about the evils of debt, is the day I quit :)
_______________________
For Alexandria with the estate question: As an attorney with experience in wills and estates, I cannot strongly enough second your recommendation to seek advice from an estate planning attorney. This is not a do-it-yourself project, and an experienced practitioner can suggest these and other ways to accomplish your goals until you find one that is comfortable for you.
Michelle Singletary: Thanks!
_______________________
Silver Spring, Md.: Three children in private school sounds like a pretty extravagant luxury. Were there really NO acceptable public charter schools, etc? You say if you couldn't afford it, "you better believe we would be in that principals face, get their tutoring, etc. to make sure they aren't losing out." But did you try this avenue FIRST before private school? Just because you CAN afford something doesn't mean you should buy it.
Michelle Singletary: So are you trying to tell me how to handle MY money.
Cuz, I know you are trippin'. I take care of my financial business and if I want a luxury then I will pay for it with CASH.
It's called personal finance for reason.
Like I tell folks who try to call me out for having a cell phone or something else that is not a necessity, IF YOU have a year's worth of living expenses saved up, fully funding your children's college fund so they won't have to take on a dollar of debt, fully funding your retirement fund, PLUS have what I call a life happens fund (for car repairs and life emergencies other than illness or job lose) PLUS you give to charity and tithe 10 percent of your gross income PLUS are paying the college tution of one niece and financially helping a second niece....
Then I might listen to what you have to say.
Otherwise, talk to the hand!
_______________________
Fairfax, Va.: They are all currently maxed - but only because I used the two higher limit cards to recently purchase a vacation (I get miles) - they will be paid off at the end of the month. The $700 card is maxed due to brake repairs a couple weeks ago. All that debt will be erased on June 30 (I am paid monthly and will be putting my raise in July into an emergency savings account for the future). At that time I planned to cancel the $700 card as I don't truly need it as the other two will more than suffice as I don't carry credit card balances normally. I opened that card a year and a half ago and the other two in November. (I graduated grad school in 2004.) So do I cancel that card or hold on to it and raise the limit so that the low credit limit isn't hurting my credit score? This system is definitely confusing!
Michelle Singletary: Keep the cards open. Don't raise any limits. Don't open any new new. Once you pay off ALL the credits cards you score should go up because you will have no debt on them.
And I'm seriously about making sure you have enough saved before you buy that USED car. Please, please build up an emergency fund because it certainly seems as if you don't have one otherwise you wouldn't have had to max out that one card with $700.
Take your time before the car purchase. Build a financial security for yourself first.
_______________________
Baltimore, Md.: So, I graduated from law school 65K in debt and entered into a career in public interest. I had no undergraduate debt on top of this. Seven years later I have whittled it down to 50K, but I still feel incredibly at a loss as to how to pay it off before I'm 60. I drive a car that is literally 20 years old. I have a credit score of 802. I don't take vacations. People make fun of my almost ascetic nature. I live in Baltimore rather than DC where I can't afford the cost of housing. I am constantly torn between my 401K contributions and making larger payments to Sallie Mae (nearly 1000K a month) - I know you recommend killing the debt, but at 4.4 percent interest, should I really be focused on the high student loan payments rather than the retirement savings?
Michelle Singletary: I'll get yelled at but yes. Pay off that debt. Free yourself.
Your retirement sounds like a long way off. If you can't aggressively pay off that debt AND save for retirement, retire that student loan debt.
Don't keep it around like it's a pet even at that low interest rate.
_______________________
"Hey, I got my stuff, you got your stuff let's make sure if this game doesn't go well we leave with our own stuff. Great way to start what is supposed to be the most important relationship in your life. : Hi Michelle - if I was in my 20s and getting married I'd probably agree with you...but as a single woman in her late 30s, there's a good chance that if I ever do get married, I may marry a man who already has children by some other woman...my parents are pretty well-to-do and will likely leave a large inheritance. If I were to simply merge those assets with those of my (potential) husband, and we did end up getting divorced, there's a chance that a portion of my parents' estate could wind up being controlled by children (or their mother) to whom they are not related and I know for a fact that they wouldn't want that (we've discussed it). If one person brings assets to a marriage that they need to protect for any reason, a prenup is a good idea. No, it's not particularly romantic but speaking as someone who's spent the last 20 years making her own way in the world with only her parents for assistance, I will do whatever they ask me to do with THEIR money.
Michelle Singletary: Either don't get married so you can keep your parent's money OR don't marry a man with kids.
_______________________
Michelle Singletary: Well, the time goes by so fast. Thanks so much for your questions and comments.
And I'm so so sorry if I didn't have time to answer your question. But as I always promise look for upcoming columns and e-letter where I often answer questions leftover from these chats.
Be well, get rid of debt and keep saving!
_______________________
Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.



Post a Comment
Comments that include profanity or personal attacks or other inappropriate comments or material will be removed from the site. Additionally, entries that are unsigned or contain "signatures" by someone other than the actual author will be removed. Finally, we will take steps to block users who violate any of our posting standards, terms of use or privacy policies or any other policies governing this site. Please review the full rules governing commentaries and discussions. You are fully responsible for the content that you post.