Celebritology Live

Get the Scoop on the Latest Gossip Making Waves on the Web

When stars shave their heads, couch-jump, commit a fashion faux pas and commit random acts of tomfoolery, washingtonpost.com Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly shares the buzz, offers perspective and provides crucial links to juicy alternate news sources and, of course, takes your reaction in her daily blog.

Now join Liz each Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), "Lost," and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

A transcript follows.

Before she started blogging about celebrities, Liz ran washingtonpost.com's Live Online section, where she enjoyed talking to really interesting people -- including some Post reporters -- on the phone. She produces both Carolyn Hax's advice discussion and Gene Weingarten's Chatological Humor.

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Liz Kelly: Is everyone completely sick of Paris Hilton yet? Is she, as posited by this guy, the most recognizable person in the world? Did Larry King let her off easy? Will Lindsay Lohan star in the Paris biopic? Will I spontaneously combust?
Seriously, I'm suffering from a massive case of Paris hangover and, once I'm done chatting today, will spend a blissful long weekend away from computers, TVs and any other devices capable of delivering a Hilton headline. Jen Chaney will be subbing tomorrow and I'll be back Monday to kick off the weird hump-day holiday week.
Since I won't be around to moderate a Friday list, I wanted to share a couple of good music-related lists (for reading post-chat):
-- The Most Irritating Songs Ever Recorded. It's a British list and therefore dominated by Brits. James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" takes top honors and aside from Hanson, Celine Dion and the "Macarena," I'm not familiar with many of the tunes. Surely we can do better. What songs irritate you? When I'm trying to annoy Mr. Liz I like to sing "Everything's Coming up Roses" in my loudest Ethel Merman voice. And for anyone poised to type in "Wildfire," save your energy. I'm not that easy of a target.
-- Ridiculous Band Names. Thanks to Celebritology field agent Frank Thomason for another excellent timesuck of a list. Some surprises here. Smashing Pumpkins... c'mon. Though I have to agree with the inclusion of Russell Crowe's Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts.
Let's get started...

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Middleton, Wis.: So MSNBC reporter has a freakout and refused to do a Paris Hilton story, joining Us Weekly who has banned Paris coverage. Maybe it's just the cynic in me, but doesn't it seem like they're trying to have their cake and eat it too? Trying to seem like they have standards but indirectly covering her anyway. Their announcements have become news stories. MSNBC even posted video of the "freakout" on their own site!

Liz Kelly: For anyone who hasn't yet seen it, the video of the MSNBC reporter refusing to do the Hilton story was included in today's Morning Mix.
I think each of these instances need to be considered separately.
Us Weekly is making a lot of noise to let us know that they are Paris-free -- both in print and on the Web today. (Though I wonder how quickly that would change if Paris walked naked down the Sunset strip or suddenly entered a convent to brush up on her Bible skills.) As one astute reader pointed out in the blog earlier this week, this move smacks of retribution. Could this be Us's payback for Hilton's decision to give an exclusive print interview to People? Did a deal perhaps sour? Not sure. In any case, this is an interesting development in this new trend of celebrity publications seemingly going out of their way to make despised celebs look bad. There were some rumors over the past year that many tabloids took a harsh tone (and even invented some mischief) with Angelina Jolie to punish her for limiting her Shiloh birth interviews and pix to a select few outlets.
In the case of MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski I think the jury is still out. Her impatience with the story seemed genuine enough. She didn't want to relegate news about Iraq to second place behind Paris Hilton. I started wondering how unscripted the performance was (or wasn't) when she produced a lighter to attempt to burn her Hilton news copy, then walked over to a shredder conveniently covered by a special camera angle. Maybe the initial annoyance was real, then the producer decided to let her ham it up. Same with them posting it to the site. Page views. This is what viral video is all about.

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Washington D.C.: Last week you credited the song "If It Don't Fit (Don't Force It)" to Parliament. Their version is just a cover. The earliest version I'm aware of is by Barrel House Annie and dates to 1937.

washingtonpost.com: If It Don't Fit

Liz Kelly: Wow. Thanks for this update. Both producer Rocci and I are grateful for the info.

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Out There: today's my bday. What is the celebritological significance of this (besides sharing the day with John Cusack, Mel Brooks, Kathy Bates)?

Liz Kelly: You are destined to see the Spice Girls live in concert.

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Annapolis, Md.: "God makes everything happen for a reason" Oh, Paris. Do you apply that to everything? If so, then I suppose God made you drink and get behind the wheel. One drink, 10 drinks, does it matter? It was hard to take her seriously last night, especially with the questions Grandpa Larry was asking her. No doubt prison was an eye-opening experience, but Liz, do we really believe she's changed?

Liz Kelly: Well, she did get new hair extensions. Does that count as change?

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Bethesda, Md.: Paris Hilton says she thinks everything happens for a reason, so what do you suppose is the reason for her neverending, always irritating presence in our lives?

Liz Kelly: You tell me -- is it our continued appetite for celeb-reality? Is the media (me included) forcing Paris on us? A combination?
I'm not sure. Last night I tried to tell myself that I would not be watching Paris on Larry King if it weren't "for work," but in the end I had to come clean with myself. I would have watched. Maybe not the entire hour, but I would have wanted the chance to see her speak at length. It gives us the chance to discern what manner of person she is. Unfortunately, Larry ended up talking more than she did. The only impression she left on me was of a vacuum in the fabric of the universe.
She's now officially famous because she's famous. Whether it was the sex tape that got her there or her ubiquity on the Hollywood party scene or her own affinity for the paparazzi, I can't say. It's too late to turn back now.

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Alexandria, Va.: Worst Song Ever: Lady in Red. I want to tear my ears off everytime I hear it.

Liz Kelly: Oooh, that is a right crappy song. Thanks for sharing.
Reminds me. I had a roommate in college -- in fact, it's her wedding I'm attending this weekend -- who hated the song "Love Lift Us Up" from "Officer & a Gentleman." Not necessarily because of the song, but because every time she heard it something bad happened within 24 hours. Pets died. An uncle died. A car accident. I knew this when she and I were sitting in Orly airport ready to return from our month-long Eurrail trip. We were sipping lattes when "Love Lift Us Up" started playing over the PA. In France, for chrissakes. We seriously considered reskedding our flight (which was uneventful unless you count having to sit next to a drunk Pole with grabby hands).

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Ridiculous band names: How about

Death Cab for Cutie

The Sneaker Pimps

The Shins (just because it's so boring)

Liz Kelly: I like the Shins. It's simple. Simple is good.

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Woodbridge, Va.: ABC's fall lineup must really be in trouble, because they just renewed "According to Jim."

Liz Kelly: Seriously, what does Jim Belushi have on studio execs to keep that pablum on the air?

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Anonymous: With Ann Coulter making her comment about Sen. Edwards and an assassination attempt and Paris Hilton being interviewed (I use the term lightly) by Larry King, it struck me that the two are in some ways alike. Making sure they stay in the news, even if it takes saying something stupid. Coulter is, of course, taken seriously by more people. She definitely seems to take herself seriously. Is it by chance an act (like Hilton acting dumb)? Do you think Hilton takes herself seriously? Coulter at least has the excuse of generating publicity in order to sell books and get speaking fees.

Liz Kelly: Well don't think Paris doesn't benefit from the publicity, too. Remember she's paid to attend parties and I'm sure a full-hour berth on Larry King Live does wonders for her rate schedule.
Does she take herself seriously? It sure looked like it to me last night. Wouldn't it be funny if Paris turned out to be some kind of mad genius totally pulling this decade's biggest social hoax on us -- seeing how far she can take a caricature of a persona?

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Re: payback to Paris: I thought the whole ABC leaking the news that NBC is paying a million to the Hiltons for an interview was also smelling of sour grapes. If they got the interview and only paid $30k, were they going to talking about it? IDIOTS. And apparently, Barbara Walters later said to someone "the whole interviewing Paris Hilton is beneath me" ROTFL. People have such double standards.

Liz Kelly: Total sour grapes. Especially when Barbara Walters went out of her way to give a statement to the NY Post saying the Hilton interview was "beneath" her. This not even a week after Kathy and Nicky Hilton were on hand as Barbara received her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Shame on you, Babs.

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If a tree falls in the forest?: So the highly ephemeral Reese-Jake romance is over. But was it ever real? Why issue a statement acknowledging the end of something you never admitted existed in the first place? Neither one of them strike me as deeply philosophical folk.

Liz Kelly: Or was their purported romance an attempt to drum up publicity (ala Jen and Vince) for "Rendition" -- a movie the two filmed together that is slated for release in October.

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Chicago, Ill.: I never thought I'd need to talk about Hilton, but the part that ticked me off was noticing that her "interview" bumped a scheduled interview with Michael Moore and his film on one of the biggest problems in America, the lack of health insurance for 40 million plus Americans. Real nice job, CNN.

Liz Kelly: Not to mention the tacky countdown clock that ran on CNN in the hour leading up to the interview.

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Reston, Va.: I didn't watch larry king live, but I caught sections of AC 300 or whatever that show is last night. Anderson Cooper kept sneering at Paris Hilton, but he devoted an entire 60 minutes to an analysis of her interview. DUH. I think she came across as a sincere person on that interview (they showed several clips). Maybe the whole thing is an act. One of the guests said to Anderson, we all liked Paris based on her interview (no one ever talked to her or heard her talking before) and it looks like you are the only who didn't. I thought it's hilarious that Anderson who is at best a gossip columnist (on TV) was sneering at Paris and still kept talking about her. Just had to vent.

Liz Kelly: You are among friends. Let it all out.
I didn't stay up to watch AC since I had to be up early for radio, but maybe he was told he had to cover Paris and did so grudgingly. Or maybe he was trying to retain some shred of the credibility he gained when he called the President on his Hurricane Katrina response (or lack thereof).

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Worst song is McArthur Park: Someone left the cake out in the rain

and I'll never have that recipe again ...

That song cannot expect us to take it seriously. The lyrics are just too ridiculous. I think Carrie Underwood sang it on Idol.

Liz Kelly: Yech.
And thanks to producer Rocci for reminding me that the song I referenced earlier is actually titled "Up Where We Belong." I just keep seeing Debra Winger.

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Chicago, Ill.: Hi Liz,

I watched some of the Hilton interview last night. After about 30 minutes of the same questions worded differently, I turned the channel. But for the part I did hear, I wonder ... Paris said that she felt the punishment she received did not fit the crime and that she knew people who had done far worse and not been treated the way she had. Does that sound like a changed person to you? Wouldn't a changed person accept the punishment as the consequences one must suffer when they get caught doing wrong?

Liz Kelly: Yep. And a changed person might own up to the fact that she had used drugs in the past. As pointed out on various sites today, there is a video in existence of Paris smoking pot and some pretty interesting white powder photos surfaced last year on the Paris Exposed site. But to sit there and coyly say she'd never used drugs was a little much. Larry should have pressed her. I'm amazed that his producers didn't better prepare him.

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Don't have cable ...: ... so watched the Paris Hilton impersonator on the "Next Best Thing" semifinals last evening instead. Did you catch her act? She got promoted to the finals.

Liz Kelly: Dang. No. I wish I had watched that instead.
Reminder: The Paula Abdul reality show "Hey Paula" premieres tonight on Bravo. 10 p.m., I believe. I've got to watch at least one episode.

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Boston (the city, not that band): Most annoying song: Red, red wine. Makes me want to shove something sharp into my ear.

Ridiculous Band Name: Hot Tuna, cuz it's kinda gross.

Liz Kelly: "Red, red wine" as in UB40? It doesn't bug me. But for some reason Rod Stewart's "Sad Songs (Say So Much)" just leapt into my head and, yes, it is annoying.

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Worst Song, MA: I can appreciate a little Bette Middler here and there. Loved Beaches. However, From A Distance is the most annoying song EVER!

Liz Kelly: Did you ever know that you're my hero?

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Odd band names: Squirrel Nut Zippers

Liz Kelly: But they were such a great band. Do you think they would have had a longer shelf life if the name had been something better... like, you know... Led Zeppelin?

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Washington, D.C.: Worst Song: Play That Funky Music (White Boy). And overplayed also.

Liz Kelly: Dang. Harshing on some Black Cherry. I like it. I have it on a compilation. "Dream Weaver" is on the same compilation. Now that's irritating.

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Herndon, Va.: PEOPLE! We created Paris! It is our fault! Stop belaboring it, accept responsibility and move on to LiLo! She's much more fun these days ...

Liz Kelly: I'm actually starting to pull for LL. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that she'll be extending her stay at Promises. Maybe if you stay longer than a month it actually works.
Maybe fellow alumna Britney Spears should have stayed longer.

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Jukebox Central: To add to your worst song list:

Having My Baby

Everyone reading this is now sentenced to having that tune go round and round in their heads for the rest of the afternoon.

Liz Kelly: How 'bout "Rubber Band?" The Spinners. Okay. I actually like "Rubber Band." Never mind.

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Cortez, Colo.: RE: Paris Hilton. I am 67 years old soon and I still can't get over that a person seen in a video by millions having sex isn't living as anonymously as possible. No possibility of me understanding the fascination she has for the public.

Liz Kelly: Right you are. She lives a very public life. Sister Nicky parties almost as much, but manages to keep the paparazzi at a safe distance.

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Tucson, Ariz.: Oh my gosh, Mika Brzezinski is now my favorite TV journalist for refusing to talk about Paris Hilton on the air. As for the WashPost's two esteemed journalists, Tom Shales and Howard Kurtz ... well ... no comment. But FYI, Tom, in your opening sentence, there were SOME of us in the world who did NOT watch Paris on Larry King. Even more interesting was watching Michael Moore tell Jon Stewart he was bumped from Larry King for Paris.

Liz Kelly: Michael couldn't have been too miffed by the bumping. He'll be Larry's guest Friday night.

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Central Florida: I don't know if the criteria for inclusion in the AFI list has changed since the first one, but the only reason that "The Third Man" qualified was that the stars, Welles and Cotton, were American. Everything else about the movie is British. In fact, the movie was selected by the BFI as the greatest British movie of the 20th Century. "The Third Man" (BFI)

"Lawrence of Arabia" has a better claim to be on the American list, as it was produced by a Hollywood studio and won an Academy Award as Best Picture.

Liz Kelly: Good points on both counts. That British list is great, by the way. A new project for my Netflix list.

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Worst Song: "I Honestly Love You" -- Olivia Newton-John

When I first moved to Washington, one of my housemates had a very one-sided crush on a self-important lawyer. Every evening, she would play that song over and over ... and then call him. So the evening would go: play song, call lawyer, slam phone, cry, play song ...

Horrible song.

Liz Kelly: What about "Let's Get Physical?"

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The Bible and Stevie Ray Vaughn (sp??): We don't have cable so I did not see the interview but I heard about the Bible snippet. Paris, don't mention something if you really did not read it or know about it.

I went off to college years ago and thought I knew it all. I am in the basement of our dorm doing laundry with roommate. The coolest guys ever are in there also. We are talking music and they mention Vaughn. I am all like "he is the best." They can tell I am lying since I was and they ask what group he was in (answer -- wasn't, I think) and it just went downhill from there.

Liz Kelly: Imagine your embarassment if your laundry room humiliation had been broadcast on live TV.
What's even more amazing is that she wasn't even able to fake an answer. Everyone knows at least one Bible passage that they can produce. I wish she had replied "Evan Almighty."

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I love LA!: Gets my nom for worst song and worst concept. Although, today is probably the only day in history that I ever wished I was in L.A. Prince at the Roosevelt. I would suffer through all of L.A.'s insufferable everythings to get in on that.

Liz Kelly: Thanks for sharing. What about David Lee Roth's cover of "Just a Gigolo?" Now there's some real doodie.

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Crappy Band Name?: Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Lucy ... 'splain!

Liz Kelly: That's a new one to me.

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Port of Spain, Trinidad: Worst Song: Anything by Lionel Richie, but especially "I Love You."

On another subject: Liz, have you ever had the urge to write a book? If so, on what subject/genre?

Liz Kelly: My least favorite Lionel Richie song is "Hello" because I especially despise the video in which Lionel's courting a blind sculptress. I wish I had that bust of Lionel she did, tho. I wonder where that is.
What writer doesn't want to write a book? My problem is discipline, or lack thereof. I'd like to do fiction. I actually did write one years ago, but it was a silly self-help book I wrote on contract and I won't embarass myself further by sharing its title with you.

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Wild Cherry, not BLACK Cherry: For Play that Funky Music ...

Liz Kelly: Right you are. Wild Cherry.
Black Cherry is a lipsmacker, yes?

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Paris bumped Michael: Oh please. I agree with a lot of Michael Moore's positions, too, but I'm also able to recognize that he is a huge publicity whore. I am sure that he completely understands getting bumped by Paris Hilton, and that at the same time, he is going to milk it as hard as he possibly can.

Liz Kelly: Well, when choosing between the lesser of two publicity whores...

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Paris and Drug Question: Why did they discuss that? I have never done drugs -- never -- so filling out the form for my clearance was easy! But even if people have used -- it is almost not a big deal unless you are arrested. What can we do about it now? Why would she lie or why did he even ask?

Liz Kelly: Well, wait a second -- Paris kept saying last night that she wants to be a role model for young women and part of being a role model is taking responsiblity for your past as well as your future. I think it was a fair question.

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Stevie Ray Vaughn: How embarrassing! And funny. When I was in 6th grade, I was walking home from the bus stop with my crush and he asked me if I liked Led Zeppelin. I hadn't even heard of them, but for some reason I blurted out "Ew, I hate him". Such a loser.

Liz Kelly: I have had a few similar experiences. Do we all do this? Is it so awful to admit that we may not be clued in to something?

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Do you like Pina Coladas?: THAT is a song I cannot stand. I heard it on the radio for the first time in ages last week. I was traveling and didn't have much radio station choice.

I can't remember the name of the song, but it's about a guy who unknowingly answers the personal ad placed by his girlfriend.

Liz Kelly: Seriously. That whole "Margaritaville" genre is excruciating. I hate that Sirius has an entire "Margaritaville" channel.

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Capitol Hill, Washington, D.C.: I wish Anderson Cooper would interview Paris Hilton and point out the obvious: even an heir to a fortune (as he surely is) should find a purpose in life, besides partying and drunk driving! Really, why don't she and her dumb-bunny sister spend a little of their dough on an education?

Liz Kelly: Her dumb-bunny sister doesn't seem to be as vapid as Paris. Or maybe she's just better at keeping her airheadedness under wraps.
Did anyone catch Paris's assertion last night that she writes movie scripts? I'd like to read one. I wonder if they are historical dramas or sci-fi capers.

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RE: Squirrel Nut Zippers: The band Squirrel Nut Zippers is named after a candy that was made on the East Coast I think in the 50's, made by the Necco company (the same ones of Necco Wafers fame, but not related to Nico Case).

Does it make the band name any less stupid? Somehow, I think it does.

Liz Kelly: Maybe. Or maybe that was a stupid candy name, bub.

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Just a Gigolo: Ugh, what a terrible song. I was so bummed when I got that album for my birthday in high school.

Liz Kelly: Ha! Do you still have it?
I remember being all bummed out when my parents would buy me MTV hits compilation albums for my birthday. Or the "Miami Vice" soundtrack featuring the keyboard stylings of Yan Hammer.
Was at a flea market with my 6-year-old niece on Saturday and we saw a bin full of albums. She wanted to know if they were books and I had to explain LPs to her. She kept calling them big CDs.

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Alexandria, Va.: Ordinary People (you know, "we're just ordinary people" ... guy is playing the piano) forget the artist but the song just goes on and on and on and on!

Liz Kelly: John Legend, sez Rocci the producer.

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Charm City: Most annoying song: Barbie Girl by Aqua. The end.

Liz Kelly: True story.

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Irritating song: That "frog in a blender" song whose name I can't remember is so obnoxious. Does anyone know the one I'm talking about? It's "something something something, frog in a blender, something something something, rendezvous then I'm through with you." Ha! My memory is so awesome after lunch!

Liz Kelly: I don't know that one. Anyone out there familiar with this?

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Please stop!: You really wish you were a music critic rather than a celebritologist, don't you?

Liz Kelly: No. We're just talking about music. Sosumi.

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Washington, D.C.: Would you say it is safe to proclaim Britney loonier than Tom Cruise? Or should we wait to see where John Travolta goes from here?

Liz Kelly: I think they're all neck and neck at this point. Should make for an interesting summer. Crazy from the heat, these celebs. Remember Mel had his meltdown last July.

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Afternoon Delight: Starland Vocal Band.

So Painful to listen to.

Liz Kelly: No! I LOVE that song.

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Alexandria, Va.: I have a suggestion for a poll: should the Indiana Jones franchise continue (which it probably won't, but a girl can dream), who would best fill Harrison Ford's shoes? Usually it's hard to see other people in iconic roles, but I think I wouldn't have a problem with Eric Bana or Gerard Butler taking over the helm.

Liz Kelly: As I understand it, Shia Labeouf will be starring in the next Indy movie as Indy's son. If successful, maybe there's a spinoff there? "Son of Indy?"
Anyone remember the "Young Indiana Jones" series that aired on ABC in the mid-'90s starring Sean Patrick Flanery?

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Paris vs. Michael Moore: I'd rather see Michael Moore than Paris on Larry King, but I'd rather see Paris than Michael Moore in a sex tape.

Liz Kelly: Fair enough.

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Washington, D.C.: Nickey Hilton actually graduated from the Fashion Institute of Technology in N.Y., a rather respected school.

Liz Kelly: There you go.

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Baltimore, Md.: Worst Song Ever: The 'Tong' by Cisco. I can't beleive I danced to the song.

Liz Kelly: I believe that was "Thong Song."

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Sad Songs (Say So Much): Rod Stewart did a cover of that? Elton John's was bad enough. From my junior high days, the worst song was "Could Have Been" by Tiffany. Every over-dramatic breakup was accompanied by someone crying in the bathroom and quoting those lyrics. Ick.

Liz Kelly: Thank you. I meant Elton. I'm ashamed. Rod has some offenders, too.

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Stunt doubles: I was thinking about the whole Dermot Mulroney-Dylan McDermott conversation when Less Than Zero came on TV. Which got me thinking: are Teri Hatcher and Jamie Gertz the same person?

Liz Kelly: Man. Jamie Gertz. Now there's a blast from the past. I wonder where she is.
Hey, speaking of blasts from the past, I'm interviewing Tony Danza later today. Any questions to pass on?

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Falls Church, Va: Re: "Larry should have pressed her. I'm amazed that his producers didn't better prepare him."

Have you never watched the Larry King show before last night??

Liz Kelly: Yes, I have. But I thought they might take extra care with him since so many were watching. I was wrong. He did wear a daringly purple shirt, though.

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Frog in a Blender: It's Inside Out by Eve 6. My husband has it in our iTunes library. He has horrible taste in music.

Liz Kelly: But good taste in wives?

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Paris and a Cause: She seems to desperately be searching for a cause to support. I didn't see the CNN interview, but didn't she mention breast cancer and multiple sclerosis during the phone call she made from jail? And now a role model for young girls. You can't just decide you're going to find a cause. You have to believe in something first, and then make it your cause because you care so much about it. Why doesn't she get that?

Do you think charities are all hoping she doesn't pick theirs? I'm sure whatever way she decides to contribute will get boring for her after a while anyway.

Liz Kelly: Yes! I made note of that. She said she wanted to use her platform to bring attention to "kids, breast cancer and MS." I'm sure all three causes are so happy to have her on board.

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Annoying songs: Fun fact: Both "Lady in Red" and "Red, Red Wine" were tremendously popular in El Salvador when I was there back in 2003. We heard each song at least once a day, to the point where we called the bus we rode the "UB40." That bus driver had much love for the cheesy stuff.

Liz Kelly: Reminds me of the remake of "Oh Carolina" that was popular when I was Eurrailing. Made for an annoying Oktoberfest.

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Faithful MSNBC morning watcher: Mika certainly wasn't scripting her disdain and disgust when the Bic came out. She became exasperated and demanded a match, and Willie Geist happened to have a lighter on him.

Not that this matters, I guess. I'm just glad that's how she feels, given that I can get all that crap in People magazine and don't wish to hear about it on reputable news stations.

Liz Kelly: Agreed. Though you're pre-supposing that MSNBC is a reputable news station.

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Anonymous: Ask Tony Danza why he doesn't work with "Dawn" anymore, and if they still stay in touch.

Liz Kelly: Wrong Tony, dude.

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Paris the Brand: I know everyone keeps claiming that Paris has very successfully marketed herself as a brand ... but how so? I'll admit she is now one of the most recognizable people in the world, but I don't know if the "brand" thing fits. I mean, have any of the lines she designed taken of? Paris the singer? Paris the actress? Paris the jewelry designer? Paris the Guess-girl? I know people pay to have her show up at parties, and she makes really good copy for the celeb-mags ... but does that make her a "brand"? Have any of the ventures she "branded" become successful? Love to hear your take on this.

Liz Kelly: Well she's definitely a household name. Her clothing line is just debuting this summer, right, so we don't know yet if it will be successful. Her album was a dismal failure, but "The Simple Life" is gearing up to film a sixth season and has been a cash cow for E! So there's something to her being a marketable brand.

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Squirrel Nut Zippers: They're actually reuniting for a new album. So's the Verve.

Speaking of Led Zep, the most annoying song (and title) in their cannon is D'yer Maker. Can't believe that song spawned a tribute band.

Liz Kelly: Personally, I find "Fool in the Rain" to be semi-annoying. That's when compared to straight up blues rockers like "Dazed and Confused" and "Travellin Riverside Blues." Course, Zeppelin stole most of their blues riffs and didn't credit the original artists.

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Tony Danza: I wish I could think of something for you to ask him because I have such a soft spot for him. Remember how hot he was in Taxi? Actually, he's still pretty hot.

Liz Kelly: He was kind of cute on taxi. I admit I had a schoolgirl crush on him. I watched him while my brothers salivated over Marilu Henner. Sadly, there were no Danny DeVito lovers in our house.

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For Tony Danza: Could you ask Tony Danza if he's going to do more Eugene O'Neill? Seriously.

Liz Kelly: Will do. I know he got some pretty good reviews for "The Iceman Cometh."
He also spent the past six months in the Broadway production of "The Producers" and will kick off the Vegas production in August.

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Does Larry King EVER press?: He usually interviews old folks. How many times can one person interview Carol Channing?

Liz Kelly: Can you ever really get enough Carol Channing?

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RE: Worst Songs: The Super Bowl Shuffle, by The Chicago Bears.

Party All the Time, by Eddie Murphy.

Arthur's Theme, by Chris Cross

Liz Kelly: These are all top contenders. Thank you.

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"Zeppelin stole most of their blues riffs and didn't credit the original artists. ": Word

Liz Kelly: Solid.

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Programming Office, Undisclosed Network: Okay, let me run this run by you: I don't yet have the concept, but Ann Coulter is married to Jim Belushi and Paris Hilton plays their daughter ...

Liz Kelly: We can call it "Married with Dingbat"

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Bethesda, Md.: Annoying song: In the Year 2525. Envision it sung by Neil Diamond and Celine Dion if you want to have eternal nightmares.

Maybe you should create a list of the worst song/singer pairings we can imagine.

Liz Kelly: Good plan. Perhaps for next Friday's list.

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Kiawah Island Beach Club:: Get this, it's a beach resort, a bar, the pool, the ocean and I work there ... AND ... every day we have to pop in the same nightmare CD with Margaritaville, Beach Boys tunes, some Bob Marley (which isn't too bad) ... but honestly the boss won't let us play anything but the same 10 songs on that nightmare CD over and over ... ahhh! But thank God I don't have to hear the "Pina Colada" song, I would throw up.

Liz Kelly: I feel for you. I worked at a record store in the '80s and had to listen to Cutting Crew and Tesla every day.
Nice place you have there, by the way. Mr. Liz and I once spent a week on neighboring Seabrook Island and totally loved it.

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Calgary, Canada: Question for Tony Danza: Why?

Liz Kelly: Dude. C'mon. He's not totally devoid of talent. He took himself pretty far for a guy who will forever be typecast as a buff dude from Brooklyn.

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Inside out by eve 6!: The poster got the lyrics allll wrong, it's:

I want to put my tender heart in a blender

Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion

Rendezvous then I'm through with you

It was popular when I was in middle/high school so obviously I liked it, but maybe looking back, not the best song.

Liz Kelly: Thanks for clearing that up.

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Pina Coladas!: Rupert Holmes, who wrote that song, is a friend, and he says that one of the things that will be awful about dying his that his obit, tombstone, etc., will all talk about the Pina Colada song, and since then he's done minor things like won a Tony Award (Mystery of Edwin Drood) and an Edgar (Best Mystery of the Year for a book whose title I can't remember). So I forgive him for Pina Colada, because he's got a sense of humor about it and has gone on to have a splendid life.

Liz Kelly: Well, that's downright interesting. Thank you so much for sharing.

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Liz Kelly: I'm afraid that's it till next Thursday. I'll be here, though I fear many of you may be vacationing. We'll have to soldier on without you.
I'll be on Post Radio 107.7 in 20 minutes talking about the Spice Girls reunion. If only there were think tanks for people like me.

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