Reclaiming a Life

She Killed Her Husband, and Though Out of Jail, She's Still Not Free

Teressa Turner-Schaefer, charged with first-degree murder for stabbing her husband in December 2005 but claiming it was an accident, will be online Wednesday, Aug. 22, at 2 p.m. ET to discuss her life story since accepting a plea bargain that suspended a 10-year sentence and placed her on probation for five years.

Read the Style Story: Reclaiming a Life ( Post, Aug. 21)

Photo Gallery: Starting Over

A transcript follows.

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Bowie, Md.: Hi Teressa,

How do you talk to your children about your experience and how often? Do you think they are grasping the understanding of what happened between you and their father?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Yes, I do talk to my children when I see they are going through something. I think that they understand what happened but they are still just young children.

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Centreville, Va.: Seeing as this tragedy had such a serious result for your husband, how were you able to avoid jail time? It seems like you could have gotten a much harsher sentence. Who was your lawyer? The article does not say.

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Not only did this have a serious result on my husband but many more people, including myself. My attorney was Mr. Whitestone and I believe that the courts did what they thought was right.

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Trenton, N.J.: I know, as you told your children, you loved your husband. I also know that while he may have been cruel and brutal, there must have also been good sides to him. In the article, his character gets harmed. Perhaps it deserved this. Yet, (and what I believe might also be helpful) what were his good points? What would you want your children to know about their father?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Well there were many good things about my husband. He always made sure we were provided for and his laughter was what made the days seem not so bad. My children know we both love them and always will. ...His memory is with us, always, in all that we do.

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Arlington, Va.: Teressa,

I found your story intriguing, sad and full of hope all at once. Have you made any progress on becoming a counselor/liaison for women coming out of jail into similar situations as you did? Good luck getting everything back in order and take care of your kids!

washingtonpost.com: Reclaiming a Life ( Post, Aug. 21)

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Actually, I will be working with women in the jail by mid-Nov. if all goes well. I thank you for your comments and hope that this story helps just ONE person.

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Downtown D.C.: Were you reluctant to share so much with a reporter, knowing your personal challenges would be read by millions?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Yes, I was not really looking forward to a reporter digging into my life but I sat and prayed about it. I realized that if I do not speak out, then those millions of readers ... some who may be going through a similar challenge in life, may not ever hear from anyone but me. So I decided to do the story despite how some people may look at me. I want to help.

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Arlington, Va.: If you were not a convicted felon, what kind of career would you pursue?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: I have always wanted that childhood dream of modeling. But I would like to one day work in crime labs. That has always been my husband and I's goal.

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Fairfax, Va.: It sounds like you and your husband had a relationship where violence was not uncommon. Had the police ever responded to a domestic dispute at your home? Had you or your husband ever sought help for the violence in your relationship?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Yes, the police were called so many times to my home not only in this state but in others. We did go to a couple of counseling sessions with the military but I was never really allowed to speak of the truth.

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Washington, D.C.: Hi Teressa,

Congratulations on your new start. I read that you are interested in taking online courses. I am an online professor and want to offer you some advice. If you decide to work toward a degree, I would suggest that you take courses from an accredited university; otherwise, your degree may not be considered valid by future job opportunities. Best of luck as you continue your career and family endeavors.

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Thank you very much. I have started college and plan to continue until the end.

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Washington, D.C.: I find it unbelievable that The Post is providing a soapbox to someone who killed her husband and received $400,000 in life insurance as a result.

I also find the 11-month sentence for killing her husband absurdly short for taking a human life. People receive more time in jail for killing household pets or serving beer to minors.

To me, this is a sign of gender bias in the media and the courts. Another sign of that bias is a statistic from the Bureau of Justice Statistics. It says that women who kill their husbands without provocation receive sentences less than half as long as husbands who kill their wives.

What's next for Ms. Turner-Schaefer? Is she going to write a book about her saga to further profit from her husband's death?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: It was an accident and I NEVER meant to hurt my husband in any way!

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Washington, D.C.: The article mentioned that your mother-in-law had custody of the children previously. Are you still friendly with your husband's mother and does she still see your children?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: My husband's mother and I are on speaking terms for the children. She moved out of the state and did not leave me with any contact information, yet I made sure she had my number and address before she left. So, we are waiting for her to talk when she is ready.

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Richmond, Va.: Why did you stay with him if the police were called "so many times" for domestic violence?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Until you are in a situation like that it is hard to explain. Although the abuse was horrible, I knew another side of him. We both were so young when we met, and for the both of us it was all we knew.

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Haymarket, Va.: Have you received any support from the other wives in your husband's military unit -- the company commander's wife or the battalion commander's wife for example or, perhaps, the chaplains.

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: No support from the wives, but then again he was at Walter Reed and so not very many military wives got together like if we were on a regular post. The chaplains have been very helpful.

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Woodbridge, Va.: Does all of this attention hinder your ability to move forward in a positive direction with your life? Are you even remotely interested in relationships with a potential companion? Or, is it too soon?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Yes, I would like to move on with my life but I am in no rush to do so right now. My children are my main concern.

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Boston, Mass.: The "byline" at the top of this chat says you're a financial assistant. Is that true? If so, congratulations on your new job! And, how did you get it?

Good luck!

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Yes, that is true. Thank you. I got it from lots of prayers and one good friend.

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Newark, N.J.: How are you when you spank or discipline your children? Do you ever fear you may be capable of going overboard in punishment, not that you would ever hurt your children, but in knowing you do have an anger inside of you, do you know how to control that anger?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Oh, I would never hurt my children or anyone intentionally. I am actually a very soft-hearted person. I wouldn't call it anger built-up, but rather, hurt. I hand it all to God now, pray and read my Bible -- it really helps.

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College Park, Md.: Teressa,

It seems like religion has been a big influence on you since your time in prison. Do you find that going to church has helped you find peace with yourself and God. Have you always been a religious person? How often do you attend church now?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: I was raised a Christian and it has always been with me. Although, at the young age of 12, I stopped going I carried the same Bible around since I was a little girl. I go to church now as often as I possibly can. Trying to juggle everything is a very hard task for me, but I am working on it with the help from God and my new friends.

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Lexington, Va.: What is your current relationship with your mother and sisters?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Oh, our relationship is wonderful. My youngest sister is getting married so we will all be united for that great celebration.

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Maryland: Hi Teressa,

I found your story very moving, especially since I'm also from Syracuse (Fowler H.S.!) and can related to some of your background. Congratulations to you for staying strong and turning this horrible experience into something positive and life-affirming. I wish you only the best.

Have you, with or without a therapist, sat down and had a conversation with your kids about what happened? Because in the story they seemed sort of confused. Or are you waiting until they are older and/or things have settled down?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: I have sat down with my children on many occasions and talked to them. Of course they are confused they miss Daddy, but I believe that as they get older they will understand what happened better. You also have to remember that they have been through a lot the past couple of years after being tossed, around lied too and much much more. Yet, both of my sons were accepted in gifted programs and have come out on top. My oldest passing his SOL with a perfect score of 600.

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Arlington, Va.: Since your religiosity is not new-found, since you stated you carried a Bible since you were 12, how do you explain this act you committed? Where was God then?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Accidents happen and that is just what this was. Where was God? Saving me.

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Charles Town, W.Va.: Are you still attending Liberty University? What classes are you taking? Keep your faith in God, he will see you through!

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: I have backed out of the classed due to my great-grandmother passing but I plan to start again in Oct. And thank you! God bless.

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Alexandria, Va.: First I wanted to say that your story was very moving and I wish you nothing but the best. If people who are sympathetic to your plight wished to help out, how could they (I) go about doing so?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: I am not looking for help at all. I wanted the story told to help others. That was my main concern with this article. I do know that a lot of folks have called my church though.

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Chevy Chase, Md.: There don't seem to be as many people as I would have thought on this chat who are outraged at this article and The Washington Post for allowing you this forum. Do you understand why people might feel the way that they do about your story, and do you have anything to say to those who think you may have been treated with extreme lenience? Finally, if this truly was an accident -- and I don't expect you to claim otherwise -- why did you accept a plea bargain? Ordinary folks find it hard to understand when people plead out of cases where they claim their innocence.

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: I never said I was innocent, I simply stated it was an accident and it was. I said from day one I would would admit to what I had done but nothing I did not do ... so the plea I took was exactly what took place ... an accident. So, that is why I agreed.

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Washington, D.C.: Do you think you will get married again some day?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: I think there is someone for everyone. I am only 25-years-old and if God puts the right man in my life I believe I would get married again. ... Someday.

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Philadelphia, Pa.: Teressa,

I found your story and your resolve to put a nice life back together for you and your kids very moving. I wish you and your family the very best in life. Thank you for sharing your story with the world. Do you have any advice for women who might be in a sometimes loving but sometimes violent relationship such as the one that you were in?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Oh, that sometimes loving sometimes in a violent relationship is so confusing at times. Women such as myself make excuses because they see the loving person he can be. But I have to say this one thing, YOU can't save him. He has to save himself. And until he learns to do that on his own you need to leave the situation alone. If you love something, let it go and let God.

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Washington, D.C.: Have you heard of "Battered Wife Syndrome?" This is when women who experience domestic violence retaliate against their partners. I know this is a hard question to answer, but do you think that the domestic violence you experienced throughout your marriage had an effect on what happened that night? I don't doubt you when you say it was an accident, but do you think deep down you felt your life was in danger that night?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: My life was in danger that night and many nights before that. I beat myself up everyday because if I hadn't been so scared and if I hadn't picked up that knife and if I hadn't turned around ... but if I hadn't ... who knows? So, as much as it hurts every single day to go through this crazy thing we call life, I am still here and my children need me, so that is what I use to push ahead.

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Washington, D.C.: What would you say to those who think you killed your husband to collect his $400,000 life insurance?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: I would tell them that I had no idea he even had that much life insurance. It was just as much a shock to me as the next person. And I would also tell them that when his mother came to visit me, I told her I did not want it to take it because I just wanted Erin back.

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Washington, D.C.: There are many cruel and judgmental people out there who cannot put themselves into your shoes and will immediately crucify you, as we've seen with many of the comments already.

Do you worry for your safety by coming out with this story in this public forum?

I, on the other hand, hope you continue to find strength in the goodness that does come your way and provide yourself and your children with the best.

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: I was very afraid of that and I still am. But I am doing this for one reason and one reason only ...TO HELP. Thank you and you stay blessed.

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Fairfax, Va.: You obviously have strong faith in God. But don't you have to be pro-active in your own life and not just sit around saying God will take care of this or that? You probably don't spend your life in church all the time; what about the practical aspects of your life?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Yes, I do have to get out there and do things for myself, but you know it is a lot easier with God's help. So, yes I have faith but consider myself to be a strong person by not giving up and continuing with what I have to do for me and mine.

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Lynchburg, Va.: Where were your family and friends during this time?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: My family and friends did not live in the area. We were a military family, but you know they were there with support as much as I would allow them so I can't fault them for that.

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Atlanta, Ga.: I have a cousin who fled to Boston from an abusive relationship in Tenn. Her husband put his fears aside and got on a plane for the first time in his life to follow her. My cousin hid out at our house in a small town in Massachusetts and this psycho found her! I was a teenager at the time and I was walking to the little country store with my cousin when her husband ran up behind us and grabbed her. He started dragging her down the street and I remember just screaming and crying. I could not believe the lengths this man went to to get her back. They are still together today and she says it's because he will kill her if she tries to leave again. I don't judge you Teressa, I've seen the abuse up close.

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: I am so very sorry that she has to go through that but she really needs to get out of that. I know exactly where she is coming from though. She needs to make a plan and stick to it.

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Washington, D.C.: Now that you have the means to do so, are you planning on moving out of the home you shared with your husband?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: That is what I have been working on for the past few months. My credit was no good so I am trying to re-build that.

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Washington, D.C.: I just wanted to say best of luck to you. I was in an abusive relationship when I was younger and, as a result, did many things I am not proud of. I also did many things that made it hard for me to become a productive member of society. It takes a lot of hard work, especially when you feel (rightly or wrongly) that you are the cause of your own troubles. Just keep moving forward, and continue therapy.

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Thank you and God bless.

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Washington, D.C.: Given that you are now raising three children by yourself, what would you do differently than your mother (or father) did in raising you -- especially as your oldest child will be a teenager in a few years?

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: I plan to take them to church and be around positive people. Also to pay attention to their concerns and help them with school and other things the best I know how.

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Culver City, Calif.: Do you ever consider moving out of the apartment? It would seem like living in the same place where the accident happens would be very tough.

Best of luck to you!

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Yes, it is very rough but I wanted closure and I believe I have that now. ... So, yes I do plan to move very soon.

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Ontario, Canada: I notice you have quit/backed out of/dropped out of a number of things you have started to do. If I may be so bold as to suggest, you may be starting with ambitions that are too high. Start out with small goals and DON'T give up on them until they are done. It is too easy to find an excuse for quitting. You must see hard jobs through. It is a true sign of maturity and responsibility. Your children will learn from your actions too.

Teressa Turner-Schaefer: Thank you all for your questions and concern. I only wish the best for you all. May God bless.

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