Celebritology Live

Liz Kelly
washingtonpost.com Celebritology Blogger
Thursday, August 30, 2007; 2:00 PM

When stars shave their heads, couch-jump, commit a fashion faux pas and commit random acts of tomfoolery, washingtonpost.com Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly shares the buzz, offers perspective and provides crucial links to juicy alternate news sources and, of course, takes your reaction in her daily blog.

Join Liz Thursday, Aug. 30 at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

Before she started blogging about celebrities, Liz ran washingtonpost.com's Discussions section, where she enjoyed talking to really interesting people -- including some Post reporters -- on the phone. She still produces both Carolyn Hax's advice discussion and Gene Weingarten's Chatological Humor.

Celebritology Live Archive


Liz Kelly: I first saw the Britney backside pic around 6:30 a.m. Seven-and-a-half hours later and my reaction is still "Gahhhh, what is going on here?" I'm still not sure. Though reader "Sharon" did find a silver lining of sorts:

"Thanks for posting that picture of Britney. I feel so much better about my butt. I have a better butt than Brintey and I'm 37. Can this week get any better?"

Way to make lemonade, Sharon. I'm now telling myself that at least I have matching eyes. (And here's a nice mash-up of both pix.)

It is a shame because Britney's derriere trumped some positive news for our favorite train wreck: her new single is poised to drop next week, likely along with a video. Yes, this could be yet another potential embarassment, but at least it's job-related, ya know? And it may give us some idea of what to expect when Britney (we think) opens the MTV Video Music Awards on Sept. 9.

And, since it's all about Britney so far, it seems she's lost interest in her Web site. Though she used the site over the past year as a way to speak directly to her adoring public (and the rest of us), it hasn't been updated since early this summer when she apologized for wailing on an SUV with an umbrella and posted some taunting words for her mom. This, to me, seems to be the equivalent of messing one's pants and not bothering to change them. See, it all comes back to the pants. Or not.

And because we don't want to keep it all about Britney, I'd just like to share this picture of the depraved Diane Keaton, one of my least faves, who was again snapped in one of her dumb ensembles. I like to call this one "Petticoated Weightlifting Biker with a Plain Black Tee and Shlumpy Hat on Top." Isn't 61 a bit old to be still pulling the "little girl lost in mom's closet" gag?

Okay, on that cranky note, let's get started...


So Much To Discuss!: Angelina: Scary skinny. What gives?

Owen: Poor guy.

Lindsay: Failing her rehab drug test? Her parents? Someone do an intervention for all of them, stat!

Britney: Who does she think she is wearing no pants? Donald Duck?

How am I supposed to do any work today?

Liz Kelly: You said it. Let's get crackin' and, honestly, how can you be expected to work at a time like this?


Silver Spring, Md.: Hi Liz-

What do you know about Owen Wilson's situation? Suicide attempt or accident? Was it known in Hollywood that he was having problems? Was he just too sick and tired to do another Ben Stiller movie?

Thank you!

Liz Kelly: Rumors are flying. Courtney Love blames Steve Coogan -- the British actor who co-starred with Wilson in "Night at the Museum." Love once dated Coogan and said he's a bad influence who always has drugs at the ready and that she'd warned Owen against spending so much time with him lately. Coogan, of course, has denied this and says he's contemplating legal action.


Dupree: Why is it that ongoing sagas of Brit and Lilo just leave me with a raised eyebrow, but news of Owen Wilson's troubles makes me genuinely sad for him?

Liz Kelly: As one other questioner said, it's shocking because Owen's normally such a "Good Time Charlie." He always plays a loveable comic foil -- see "Wedding Crashers," "Night at the Museum," etc. But I guess this is a good lesson in not judging a book by its cover. Or, to quote an old radio program, who knows what evil lurks in the heart of man?

And yes, this is much more devastating than any incremental updates about more bad behavior from Brit or Lilo. Owen seemed so together. He wasn't Hollywood's biggest star, but he had (and hopefully still will) a nice steady career in comedies and was able to flex his creative muscles by writing with his brother Luke. He also managed to live his life largely outside the glare of the paparazzi, despite dating Kate Hudson earlier this year. I'm sure that peace will be a thing of the past.


New York, N.Y.: Okay, this is old news by now, but was I the only one who was completely turned off by Nicole Richie's mugshot last week? I didn't see the Diane Sawyer interview, but from what I read, Richie seemed genuinely remorseful. Then I saw the smirking photo and wondered how sorry she really is.

Liz Kelly: I think her wide-eyed pic was an homage to Paris Hilton's. Compare for yourself.


Atlanta, Ga.: It seems like David Hasselhoff's wife took a big risk by revealing the video of the actor drunk. She lost custody of both girls to The Hass. So, do you think Kevin Federline is taking the same risk? Might his more-visible-by-the-day gold-digging tendencies cost him custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James?

Liz Kelly: You're assuming, like most everyone else, that it was K-Fed who called in an anonymous tip to the LA Dept. of Children and Family Services last week to say Britney was ignoring her childrens' health.

If it can be proven that Kev had something to do with it, I suppose it might have some bearing on his chances of getting custody of the kids. Not that Britney needs much help in the out-of-control image department. She's doing a fine job of it all by her lonesome.

I was reading a bit this morning about Britney's proposals to MTV for her VMA opening number and, according to TMZ, one nixed proposal was her idea that she sing a cover version of Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative" while images of Justing Timberlake and K-Fed flashed on a screen behind her.

I mean, really? Is she actually as completely out there as it seems? I almost want to believe that she's having us all on. That her nutiness is a very well-planned prank. A girl can dream.


Melancholia, Md.: So if Owen Wilson, rich successful film star who, ahem, "knew" Kate Hudson biblically is thinking life isn't worth living, what does that say about those of us who are unsuccessful nobodies whose biblical "knowledge" is currently confined to the Playboy channel? Of course, the 911 call for me would go unnoticed by the media, and probably my colleagues as well, who would just say vaguely, "I think he sat over there." But really, what if Matthew McConaughy is next? What then? Do we all have to find a sharp knife? Or should I just feel lucky that my poor unsuccesfulness means I can leave at 3:00 today and no one will notice?

Liz Kelly: I think sneaking out of work early is pretty great. It's like extra time. Even if all you do is go home and plop on the couch you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that you should be working.

And, remember, everything is relative. I'm betting that right about now Owen Wilson might not mind trading places with a 9 to 5er (or 3er).


New York, N.Y.: Do you have any info about the CW's Gossip Girl and if so can we start up one big discussion about it? I just loveeeeeee the books and I'm excited about the show so it would be great to have some Gossip Girl Chat!

Liz Kelly: All I know is that a series based on the teen book series is headed to the CW on Sept. 19. Here's the official site. I haven't read the books. Are they different and better than most teen series fiction?


On Annie Hall: Any of those wardrobe items alone could have been chic. All together was too much, which is often the superstar problem. The boots were too big, i.e.: wrong size. The chunky style could work in some instance, but they were simply the wrong size for her feet.

Well, on a younger woman, maybe... The 80s model with a flowery dress and combat boots thing was okay.

Liz Kelly: Yes, but that was the, ummm, '80s. Diane was sporting this outfit this week. And it's not on the set of a movie where she's playing some dingbat who wears flower pots for hats, it is a real life picked-out-by-Diane outfit.


Da Mayor wears pleats!: See: dcist.com

Liz Kelly: Listen Bluto, I don't take fashion cues from civil servants and nor should you.


Shocked and Appalled: Okay, can we discuss how in the video link in Gene's update today, Tucker Carlson essentially admits to committing a hate crime? Can he be punished for this? He admits to beating someone up purely because they apparently had the gall to SPEAK TO HIM IN A MEN'S BATHROOM and oh by the way HE WAS GAY. Ugh. And the best part, after describing how he returned with a friend and beat the guy up for hitting on him, in the same breath he says he is not anti-gay. If I'm not mistaken, the Matthew Shepard murder started out the exact same way. Retribution for hitting on a straight man. Tucker Carlson should be in jail.

washingtonpost.com: Tucker Carlson: Another Tragic Victim of Sexual Assault (Wonkette, Aug. 30)

Liz Kelly: I think Tucker just wanted us to know that underneath the bow tie and stick-up-his-spine (ahem) "Dancing With the Stars" performance last year, he's a 100 percent, red-blooded American man, with a capital "M" for macho.

I agree with you. If he felt that threatened he should've left the police to handle it. He says, by the way, that the guy was arrested -- I'm assuming his assailant didn't counter-charge Tucker and his "friend" with assault.

I'd like to challenge Tucker to produce a police report, though, and share exactly what Georgetown bathroom he was in... was it, like, Georgetown Park or Smith Point?


Courtney Love blames Steve Coogan -- the British actor who co-starred with Wilson in "Night at the Museum." Love once dated Coogan and said he's a bad influence who always has drugs at the ready and that she'd warned Owen against spending so much time with him lately. Coogan, of course, has denied this and says he's contemplating legal action. : i find that SO funny. Love getting all high and mighty about sharing drugs.

Liz Kelly: Yes. There's a bit of pot calling the kettle black going on there. But hey, it does take one to know one, right?


Diane Keaton: The problem is that her bohemian mix different stuff style that worked so great for her in the Annie Hall era is not so good for an older woman and a no no in style today.

As I approach another milestone bithday, I've thought about that. Getting stuck in an era where my style was great and not change with the time or my changing body.

Liz Kelly: Good point. Diane does seem to be stuck -- in I-have-no-taste land.


Re: Owen: I'm predicting that it's more of a drug overdose than a purposely suicide. Of course there's a lot of gray area there, but I think he OD'd cuz he OD'd, not cuz he was trying to kill himself. Maybe trying to dull pain with drugs, but not to kill himself

Liz Kelly: Well, but there are reports that he'd slashed at least one of his wrists open, which would go beyond a simple OD.


Britney's ensemble: Liz, I can't get over it either! I really can't.

As someone who has watched her whole shtick unfold (so to speak) with a mixture of fascination and pity, I don't know why this pantsless incident surprises me but it does. AND it really freaks me out. I am starting to wonder if she's crazy, or loaded all the time... and WHERE are the people who could tell her, "Honey, your a-- is hanging out." I mean, three different people in my office enjoy plucking dog hairs off my shirts every day, and that's hardly a major fashion crime! Hell, if I was a random person shopping in L.A. and saw her dressed like that, I would be inclined to approach her and suggest she duck into Fred Segal for some leggings.

Sad. So sad.

Liz Kelly: Well, now that you mention it... she actually did duck into a Club Monaco and buy a change of clothes. You can see the after pix here.

Let me ask this -- would we react the same way if, for instance, a SI Swimsuit model walked around sporting that outfit?


Methinks: Other than the return of 'Lost' which I know you are devoted to, which television or entertainment event are you most looking forward to?

Personally, I've decided to become a Heroes devotee. I gave it up midstream in January to get back on board the '24' express and was so PO'd by the ridiculousness of it all that I'm jumping ship (and mixing metaphors while I'm at it!)

Liz Kelly: Since "Big Love" ended this week, I'm now beside myself with impatience awaiting the return of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" on Sept. 9th.


Still the People's Princess?: This is a bit far afield from your usual celebrity stomping ground, but what do you think about Camilla abruptly backing out of appearing at tomorrow's Princess Diana memorial in London? Rumor (at least in the British tabloids) has it that she was quite vexed at being advised to be make herself scarce, and is hieing off the Mediterranean sans royal spouse.

Liz Kelly: I don't know that she backed out or even backed out "abruptly." From what I've read she was fully intending to attend to support Prince Charles and Harry and William. When the British press found out they ripped her apart for presuming to intrude on a day devoted to Diana's memory. It would seem Camilla's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. So I say, get thee to Capri.


Silver Spring, Md.: I also just feel bad for Owen Wilson and I'm trying to figure out if that, contrasted with the mild schadenfreude I get out of Britney, Lindsay, et al., makes me a bad person. Help me, Liz! What is the difference here? Is it just that he's being self-destructive in private? Or do I have a different standard for women in Hollywood? If so, I'm a little ashamed of myself.

Liz Kelly: No, I don't think it's a male vs. female thing. Would you be similarly sad it it was Kevin Federline, Andy Dick or some other equivalent object of scorn involved in a similar situation? The difference is that Owen is a likeable guy who has never done anything to turn us off in the past.


Wilmington, N.C.: I'm with you, Liz. I would like Brit's insanty to be just a good joke on all of us, otherwise it is way too disturbing. But, going back as far as that awful interview with Matt Lauer, I think it is a genuine Brit meltdown. Either that or she was just this crazy in the early days and it was cleverly masked by all of her handlers.

Liz Kelly: All I know is it's going to make on heck of a book someday. I wonder if she'd be open to a ghost-writing offer.


Silver Spring, Md.: Just curious, who was the last celebrity couple that actually followed steps the old-fashioned way and got married, before finding out they were pregnant?

Liz Kelly: Ummm... Umm... Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz?

I kid.

What about Courtney Cox and David Arquette? Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin? Kelly Ripa and her dude. There are plenty.


Washington, D.C.: How funny is it that on the same day, at the same time we're discussing Britney's bare backside, the Slate writer is discussing her article on how hard it is to find non-trampy clothes for her pre-teen daughter?

washingtonpost.com: The Trashiest Clothes Ever Designed for 11-Year-Olds (washingtonpost.com, Aug. 30)

Liz Kelly: Dismissed as coincidence.


Alexandria, Va.: Ahhh! Reading the chat from home is craaaaaazy! I can click on links and see the godawfulness of the things you're talking about (like cottage cheese butt!).

Liz Kelly: Oh cool. You're experiencing the full effect. It's heightened by a little afternoon cocktail, too. Or, in my case, tea.


S.I. model: If the S.I. model in question is walking down the boardwalk, no harm no foul. If she's stolling down the avenue wearing boots and a top that barely covers her probably taut bum well, so what if she's beautiful, it's still inappropriate for the setting.

Nevertheless, your point is well taken.

Liz Kelly: Thanks. That's what I thought. It would be worth a second glance and a comment, but half those comments would be of the "va va voom" variety.


Look Away!: Ummm, hate to think about this, but any idea what Brit Brit looked like from the front?

Does the exposed derriere qualify as public nudity?

Liz Kelly: I don't even want to think about it.


Life in the fast lane...: Liz dear:

Where is the "in" place to retreat this Winter? I simply must know where the best celebrity sightings will be!

Liz Kelly: Dale City. If you lived there, you'd be home now.


Camilla: I've never minded her as much as a lot of people. I will say I think she's handled this summer of Diana (I say that with all the respect in the world; I think Diana was an extraordinary woman) with much grace, class and patience. She was personally asked by the princes to attend the memorial and agreed for them. Once she realized it was making the public uncomfortable (or angry or whichever word you like), she politely changed her mind and attempted to do so with little fanfare. I give the woman a lot of credit.

Liz Kelly: Agreed.


Portland, Ore.: When Angelina Jolie visits war-torn areas and refugee camps, do her visits really raise awareness and prompt action by others, whether it's giving money or changing policy or making conditions better? We see Jolie traipsing to Iraq and other ravaged places around the world but I never, ever hear if her visits make a difference. I know other celebrities do this too but they don't seem to be the serial "visitor" that she is. It all seems like a nice photo op for her. Is she making a difference?

Liz Kelly: Yes, absolutely. How much knowledge did you have of Palestinian refugees trapped in a no-man's land between Iraq and Syria before Angie visited earlier this week? And, even if Syria isn't shamed into opening their border or the international community isn't immediately moved to action, at least she's trying.

I think it's unfair to call this a "nice photo op for her." She's putting herself in harm's way by visiting that region and shining a light on something we don't hear from the White House and, I'll admit, most major news outlets. She didn't take an entourage or any paparazzi. All photos we've seen have been courtesy of the U.N. High Commission on Refugees.

She's also donated millions to helping orphans in countries from which she's adopted her children. She does indeed put her money where her mouth is.

Tell me, what would it take to make her actions genuine for you?

There, I said it. I'm sick of Angie-bashing.


EC, OZ: Liz,

I missed reading your Lost Book Club chat live yesterday, but, as a huge fan of the Oz books, I feel the need to point out that Dorothy does indeed say the famous line "there's no place like home" in the book. Shortly after she meets the scarecrow, he asks her why she would want to go back to a gray and dismal place like Kansas when she could stay in Oz and she says, "there's no place like home." Of course, it turns out that she does eventually stay in Oz, but only when she can bring her family with her. As I think Juliet would agree, the best thing about home is the people.

Liz Kelly: Thanks for that clarification. I must've forgotten that by the time I arrived at the book's conclusion. In the movie, those words were a necessary part of getting the ruby slippers to take her home, so it seemed worth pointing out that it wasn't over-emphasized in the book.

If anyone else is interested in reading yesterday's Oz chat, here's a link.


Re: Tucker Carlson: I read that this incident happened when he was in high school. If so, the statute of limitations for both criminal and civil actions is likely long gone. Too bad...

Liz Kelly: Good point, though that police report would still be on file. Make with the paperwork, Carlson.


Prince Charles: Say what you will, and nothing against Diana, who did a lot of good with her life, but my 45-year-old frumpy self STILL admires Prince Charles for loving the frumpy age-appropriate woman over the beautiful, toned young thing. It's like "Dirty Dancing" for the middle-aged set only without the great music and dancing and,well, really, Charles isn't that hot and Patrick was (part of the DD appeal), but still.

Liz Kelly: I have to agree with you there. I can't say I much admire his "I want to live inside your jeans" remarks back when he was still very much with Diana, but he's stuck by her [Camilla] since. I'll give him that.


Note to Tucker Carlson : It does not make you a manly man to get your friend to help you so you can slam a guy's head against the wall. Anyone else think Tucker's a wuss?

Liz Kelly: But I'm sure having a buddy there provided Tucker with a key male bonding experience.


Wha?!: What about Shia and Rhianna? Go Shia! I don't Jay-Z would be into that. In fact, what's all this stuff about Beyonce and Jay-Z tying the knot? Hasn't it been pretty much confirmed that he's creepin' with Rhianna?

Liz Kelly: Seriously. These two are the stealth couple of the summer. From out of nowhere. Talk about Transformers. Snap!


Washington, D.C.: Liz - do you know just what is going on with one of my favorite actors, Angelina Jolie?

Liz Kelly: Let's see.

She just returned from a quick visit to Iraq and Syria (see my above answer).

She's, I believe, currently in New York with Brad and the kids. Both were spotted -- separately -- with the kids in Central Park yesterday.

She's got a few movies in production and, despite many reports of a rift, she and Brad seem to be making things work.


Palm Beach, Fla.: Honey:

Were you being "snarky" to "life in the fastlane"? Because I frankly have not heard of Dale City and I know all the best spas in the World.

Liz Kelly: What's not to love? It's got easy access to the 95 corridor, an outlet mall and at least one Olive Garden.


Gwyneth and husband: I'm pretty sure Gwyneth was already pregnant with Apple when they got married.

Liz Kelly: Dang it. You're right. Apple was born five months after the marriage. But, hey, that should count... right?


Washington, D.C.: Yes, I am soooo excited for CURB!

P.S. Who says Britney didn't come from the pool (not to defend her or anything but it could be totally misguided cover up)?

Liz Kelly: It wouldn't be the first totally misguided decision she's made.


Skinny Angelina: Seriously. She is disturbingly thin. Any more to the reports that it's due to grief and having four wee ones?

I liked her better curvy. And I'm a chick.

Liz Kelly: Speculation about Angie's thin physique ranges from drug use to anorexia to some strange viral disease picked up in her international travels. But, until I hear definitively otherwise, I would credit her brother who said her weight loss was caused by depression following the death of her mother last year.

Grief can have huge physical implications. When my dad died back in 2000 I lost over 40 pounds. Granted, I probably needed to lose that weight anyway, but I don't think a total loss of appetite was the healthiest way of going about it.


Angie: I'd love to know what all the people who bash Angelina Jolie do with their free time...other than bash Angelina Jolie. For the poster who asked, her "traipsing" around nations ravaged by one thing or another are not solely for the purpose of raising awareness, although I believe she absolutely does. She is an ambassador to UNHCR and as such visits these nations with the purpose of compiling official reports on the conditions and reporting back to the UNHCR. If you get the chance, pick up her collection of journals (from 2004 I think?) called Notes From My Travels. It will break your heart.

I can't help defending her; she's always fascinated me. I just think that if everyone who spent so much time bashing her, spent an ounce of that energy learning about conditions in the world or, even better, doing something, anything, to help this world would be in much better shape.

Liz Kelly: Thanks for chiming in.


Capitol Hill, Washington, D.C.: Hey Liz, I'm still and sadly will probably always be a Britney fan. I was with her from the beginning and I even have all of her 'unreleased' tracks on my iTunes (even her verision of 'My Prerogative'). I fully believe that if she can get her life back together, she will be back on top. She's an icon for my generation and a few years of crazy won't change that. Come on Brit, you can do it!!

Liz Kelly: Gene Weingarten, everyone.


More Brit: I believe Britney wasn't pregnant when she and Kevin married.

Liz Kelly: Good point. She's a model of modern propriety.


It all comes back to pants: Liz, it's funny you bring up the pleated pants today because the boyfriend and I just spent a session in the Nordstrom men's department arguing over pants. I have tried to get him to wear flat front but to no avail, he says he has "thick thighs." To prove to me that it couldn't be done, he tried on every pair of flat fronts in the store. I have to admit, he's right, even though they fit great through the leg, the pockets stick out like a pair of wings. If he goes bigger in size, it just looks baggy on him. And my boyfriend is far from fat or big in the stomach, everything is proportional. I told him maybe he just needs to find the right brand but because he put genuine effort, I'll give him a pass for now. Baby steps.

Liz Kelly: I hear you. I think it's a combo of finding the right brand, right cut, right size and a skilled tailor. A lot of work. For him, throwing on a pair of ballooners is just easier.


McLean, Va.: Is Larry Craig now a celebrity? I would ask the same about Tucker Carlson, but I defer to Jon Stewart's summary of Tucker's personality.

Liz Kelly: Well, I don't know about celebrity. "Infamous" would be the word I'd use to describe his current name recognition.


Go, Liz!: I'm sick of the Angie-bashing, too.

And, to further answer the poster's question from the perspective of a humanitarian aid organization: we absolutely see a bump in donations (the $10 - $100 variety) when a celebrity "raises awareness" about a certain humanitarian crisis.

This is important, because the huge donations that come from grant-making foundations come with a lot of restrictions on how we can spend the money, and they require a lot of manpower to administer. It's the small checks from people in the heartland that keep charitable organizations rolling. The celebrities really help bring that no-strings-attached money in, so that we can be more flexible.

Liz Kelly: Again, thanks.


Re: chat from home: Ahhh! Actually, I'm at home on some pain meds... It's almost surreal. I might have pants on.

P.S. I meant to tell you that I was going to "try out" (read: go check out the crazies) for the Flavor of Love 3, but I missed it! I wanted to report back with the scoop, but it was in Delaware. Too far to travel for only potential laughs/spitting in my face.

Liz Kelly: Oh man. If anyone EVER has an impulse to try out for "Flavor of Love" or any other reality show featuring a celeb, please e-mail me. We'd love to chronicle your journey for the blog.


I'm a Di Girl: But I love seeing Charles and Camilla together. You can tell they are just so much in love and have a good time together. Not too many shots of he and Di that way.

That said, please, someone tame those Farah wings Camilla sports. She could land at O'Hare with those things.

Liz Kelly: Thank you for bring us back to our strength -- criticism.

Yes, Camilla is in big time need of help from the British "What Not To Wear" team.


Brown-eyed blue-eyed girl (Arlington): "I'm now telling myself that at least I have matching eyes." Hey; my eyes are naturally two different colors (one is all blue, and the other one is mostly brown). I'm afraid that now people are going to think that I'm trying to pull a "Britney Spears." Any advice?

Liz Kelly: I would sue Britney for stealing your look.


Harrisburg, Pa.: If Leona Helmsley's dogs do not pay all their inheritance taxes, will the IRS place them in a kennel?

Liz Kelly: I just can't even comment on this, except to say that I take fabulous care of my pets and there's always room here for a couple more.


Anonymous: Are Tony Orlando and Dawn all still alive and kicking? The Sen. Craig airport incident somehow brought to mind the lyrics of the TO and D song: knock three times on the ceiling if you want me; Twice on the pipe if the answer is no; oh, my sweetness

(Knock, knock, knock!) Means you'll meet me in the hallway; Mmm, twice on the pipe (clink, clink) means you ain't gonna show

Liz Kelly: Wow, you've got some kind of mind to connect Tony Orlando & Dawn with Mr. Wide Stance. Speaking of Craig, FishBowl DC is taking submissions for Craig T-shirts. This is my favorite so far.

Tony Orlando and Dawn(s) are still alive and kicking but, as far as I know, no longer making beautiful music together.


Another vote for Tucker The Wuss.: If he was so tough, he wouldn't have let Jon Stewart push him around, now, would he?

Liz Kelly: While we're bashing Tucker, isn't it about time he grew up? Why does he still look like a the president of his college Republican club?


Washington, D.C. : Re Tucker Carlson: I am surprised that he would put out a story like that -- not so much for the fact that he's admitting to an act of violence, but that he's admitting to such sexual insecurity.

Back in the mid 70s when I was working in Georgetown, I used to drink regularly in what was then the area's premier gay bar, Mr. Henry's on Wisconsin Avenue just abve M. During Happy Hour, rail drinks were 60 cents and the 4th one was free. (Do the math.)

I would occasionally get propositioned and would answer by saying, "I'm flattered. But I'm also straight. I come here because the booze is so cheap." Whereupon my pursuer would laugh and nod his head.

Liz Kelly: Ya, he really seems to have put his foot in it in every way possible.


Capitol Hill again: I was the Britney lover from a few posts back. I'm definitely not gene, but that could be the best compliment I've ever received via WP chat.

Liz Kelly: Thanks for playing along in my lame attempt to embarass Gene.


RE: Britney: Her behavior might be her way of living up(down?) to the Lizzie she was awarded earlier this summer: Biggest Celebrity Train Wreck. There's been a lot of pressure and competition from some other lesser train wrecks...Lohan, Paris, etc.

Liz Kelly: True. One train wreck I have to say I'm genuinely concerned about is Amy Winehouse. So talented, so young and so hopelessly out of control.


Speaking of clothes...: since we're dishing out fashion advice today:

I work at home and don't want to be fugly. You spend a good part of your day at a desk, too, and you seem pretty darn cool. So what would you recommend? Thirties, not twenties.

Liz Kelly: Well, I learned early on that actually making a point of changing out of my PJs every morning is essential. They may be comfy, but you start feeling like a scrub when 2 p.m. rolls around and you've been wearing the same thing for about 16 hours.

I am a huge clotheshorse and working from home hasn't changed that. Instead of spending my money on traditional work clothes now, I concentrate on cool casual stuff. Nice jeans, Theory and Marc Jacobs casual separates and fun pieces from H&M that I might not be able to get away with at the office.

Plus, knowing that Mr. Liz is coming home every evening is a big motivator. I still sometimes will find myself in need of a shower come 4 p.m., but dang it, I take that shower!


Leona: I have always dreamed of being rich enough to leave people out of my will. Now I will dream of being rich enough to leave people out of my will AND to let my cats live out their lives in a Malibu mansion, where someone will be on duty to scoop 24 hours a day. Who says death isn't fun?

Liz Kelly: Right on. But it is so important to appoint a human trustee who will appreciate said mansion.


Say no to Bluto!: I challenge you this: Find one man metroing on the way home tonight that DOES NOT HAVE PLEATS! I've given everyone in my office a complex about pleats. I have a co-worker that takes all suits to be un-pleated. Ninety-nine percent of men wear pleats because they're lazy. The other 1 percent think they look good in them.

Liz Kelly: Okay, the challenge has been issued.


Brit: I think Britney still sees herself as a well-toned 16-year-old, and she wears these crazy clothes choices in an attempt to be hot. Someone should make her sit down and look at pictures of herself. She needs a trainer and a stylist!

Liz Kelly: Unfortunately, I think you're right. She's completely delusional or totally in denial or a combination of the two.


Central Park West: I heard that K-Fed has started dating Leona's doggies. Any truth to that rumor?

Liz Kelly: HA!


Alexandria, Va.: Okay, Liz. I'm beginning to wonder about the influence Gene and you exert over me. I'm a middle-aged woman, but I found myself stepping over the teenaged boys sprawled on the floor in the graphic novel (aka comic book) section of Borders last nite so I could pick up my copy of Watchmen. It's all some big WaPo mind control experiment, isn't it?

Liz Kelly: Dude, it's all good. There are worse ways to spend time.

Shucks, this just made my day.


Washington, D.C.: There was a rumor flying around earlier this summer that Brit-brit is bipolar. This latest behavior would seem to support that possibility. Have you heard anything more about that "diagnosis" recently?

Liz Kelly: Nope. I'm aware of the rumor, same as you. But there's no hard evidence. In fact, I believe the rumor originated from an ex-employee -- who could have an axe to grind or just be trying to get himself in good with the tabloids.

News Flash: Producer Rocci reports that he is wearing unpleated pants today. Rocci is a fashionable guy. I will try to post a pic of him soon. We could all take a lesson from Roc's fashion sense.


Alexandria, Va.: I'm so excited that Jeff Fahey is going to be a cast member on Lost. I used to have a thing for him, but then he seemed to disappear. I saw in Doc Jensen's column that he's been running orphanages in third world countries. So, he's either really cool or really strange now --I'll have to wait and see which.

Liz Kelly: Or really cool, yet strange. I can't say I'm digging the massive Jerry Garcia-like beard he's sporting.


Tucker Carlson: Okay, let's take a deep breath people. You are a teenage wuss, in a public restroom. Some strange person you've never seen before propositions you for sex. What is your reaction? Drop the attitude, and you might realize that you'd be frightened (not because being asked for sex is so strange, but by a stranger in a really inappropriate place). Then imagine or remember that you are a teenage boy, and think what happens at that age in reaction to sudden fear: irrational anger.

So going back to beat someone up is immature, and taking a friend along is even worse. Girls might settle for running away or calling the cops, but I don't find it peculiar that a teenage boy would try assault. Is this really a hate crime, or an immature reaction to fright? Do you think the response would have been different if the suggestion had been robbery, instead of sex?

Why was the solicitor (ha ha, hidden lawyer gag) still in the bathroom when the teenage wusses came back?

Liz Kelly: I happen to know a guy, hetero, who was propositioned as a teenage boy and his reaction was similar to the one described by the earlier poster. He said thanks, but no thanks. Was he skeeved out? Totally? Should he have been? I don't know, but he was a teenage boy. But riddle me this -- if Tucker had been propositioned similarly by a working girl -- let's say one who is a bit long in the tooth and looks like she might be backing some serious bacteria. Would violence also be an appropriate reaction in that situation? If not, why should it make any difference that the propositioner was a man.

And, I'm sorry, but Tucker Carlson can kiss Britney's backside. This sort of thing happens to women All. The. Time.


Career choices: Did you ever ponder how you came to be the arbiter/games mistress for an advice dispenser, a highly eclectic humor columnist, and the foibles of modern society icons?

Liz Kelly: Yes. And I thank my lucky stars every day. I have no idea how it happened. Just glad to be here.


I think Britney still sees herself as a well-toned 16-year-old: See, it happens to all of us: Brit, Diane Keaton, me. I stil think and dress like a 120-pound college student even though that was a while back. I have the same taste, but keep forgetting my body is aging.

Liz Kelly: Same. I'm actually at the point where I feel a bit self-conscious when browsing H&M since I'm usually surrounded by teens. But I take pains to add only small flourishes from there and try to mix them with more age appropriate pieces. So no short shorts or suspenders for me.


Follow-up on work-at-home clothes: I'm with you on wanting to look nice not just for me but for my honey when he gets home. But what about makeup? I love it but it feels pretty weird to wear it just for me.

Liz Kelly: Agreed. I'm not a big make-up wearer. Usually it's just lip stick or gloss anyway and that's easy.


This is the original Bluto: You can have my pleats when you pry them off my cold, dead legs.

I don't define myself by what I wear; I choose clothes that are functional, appropriate to the occasion, and comfortable. If they happen to look good on me, then that's a nice bonus.

Liz, has WNTW talked about what not/how not to get tattooed yet?

Liz Kelly: HAHAHA. Okay, touche Bluto. But I stand by my tats. The equivalent to your pleats would be like Tasmanian Devils or Rolling Stones lips tats.


To the woman shopping with her boyfriend...: I used to bike 300 plus miles a week in my teenage years and 20s, and now, at 34, still look like I'm trying to shoplift a couple of flank steaks in my thighs if I wear normal flat-front pants.

However, I've found that Dockers, of all brands, makes a slightly-baggier, looser fit pair of slacks that doesn't look too bad. Also, Express for Men, if he's got a waist size of 36 or smaller, has some flat-front pants that don't look too bad.

Liz Kelly: Thanks for the help (and for the mental image of someone walking around with flank steaks strapped to one's thighs).


Sigh: Liz, I love you but seriously, can we lay off the Prince William ridiculing a little bit? It's the one thing that keeps me from being a true Wash Post devotee. The Post just cannot write a non-sarcastic story about the county!

Liz Kelly: Okay, but can I get a pass for having lived there once? Go Brittany's Sports Bar!


The Pleat Battle: I've fought this one many, many times with Husband. He won't give up the pleats.

Men: Pleats make you look hippy. Okay?

Liz Kelly: On this important note I will end today's show.
See you tomorrow for (probably) a Friday List, though I'm worried most of you will be high-tailing it out of work early for the long weekend.
Oh and don't forget to send in your submissions for today's caption contest.


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