Thursday, October 4, 2007; 2:00 PM
When stars shave their heads, couch-jump, commit a fashion faux pas and or random acts of tomfoolery, washingtonpost.com Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly shares the buzz, offers perspective and provides crucial links to juicy alternate news sources and, of course, takes your reaction in her daily blog.
Join Liz on Thursday, Oct. 4 at 2 p.m. ET, to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.
Before she started blogging about celebrities, Liz ran washingtonpost.com's Discussions section, where she enjoyed talking to really interesting people -- including some Post reporters -- on the phone. She still produces both Carolyn Hax's advice discussion and Gene Weingarten's Chatological Humor.
Liz Kelly: I'd like to begin today's chat with a tribute to my friend Lisa. She's funny. When she co-blogs with me, she makes me funnier. Together, we scare Weingarten. So, of course, it was Lisa who yesterday afternoon pulled me out of a particularly self-indulgent snit with the following exchange, none of which will make sense without first gazing upon the inspiration for said exchange:
Liz: I never thought I'd say this, but this wedding dress looks like a pair of granny glasses. And, I'm sorry, but it's too big.
Lisa: It's too big, it's hideously ugly, and it's not really Carrie, I think. Wouldn't you picture her in something less meringue-like?
Liz: Dang. That torso is HIDEOUS. I think the meringue is okay, actually. And what's with the green feather duster in her hair?
Lisa: I was just thinking that same thing. It's like a big furry growth.
Liz: She looks like a kid playing dress up in a tranny's closet. I like the guy in the background in the striped sweater. He's thinking "At least I'm not wearing that."
Lisa: I have no desire to see this movie at all.
Liz: But, you know, you are going to have to go. With me. We'll bring air sickness bags, make a night of it.
Lisa: That sounds like a plan. we can sneak in flasks of cosmos.
Liz: We will take notebooks AND a digital cam to record our appalled expressions.
Lisa: When's it out again?
Liz: Spring 2008.
Lisa: Good. So there's time to steel ourselves.
So, there you have it... an inane conversation that made my day and our promise that come May 2008, you will be in receipt of a possibly tipsy, but reliably catty account of the "SATC" movie.
Without further ado, let's get started...
Washington, D.C.: Liz,
Here is my brilliant idea for the day: The next edition of "Dancing with the Stars" should have Britney Spears. Now that would be a train wreck. Can you imagine Britney attempting to do a proper ballroom dance?
On another note, I think you should be a co-host on "The View" so that they can knock off Elizabeth and Sherri Shepard. Seriously they make millions for spewing such ridiculous crap about being with Jesus.
Liz Kelly: Well, thanks. I'm not sure which fate would be worse -- watching "The View" or actually being there in person. Though, if physically there I could possibly do something to take the show off the air forever, thereby freeing both the 11 o'clock hour and the world from yet another hour of inanity.
True fact: I get dehydrated when I watch "The View" because I lapse into a coma and drool out all my fluids.
Washington, D.C.: Hi Liz -- Do you happen to know whether any actual celebrities will be showing up at the Madame Tussauds grand opening reception tonight, or just wax ones? I have an invite and I'm trying to decide how badly I want to go!
Liz Kelly: I can't get through to anyone at Tussauds to get an answer for you, so no word yet on what actual vivified celebrities will be on hand for the reception. D.C. being what it is, I would calibrate my expectations for the Arch Campbell variety rather than any actual A-listers.
The centerpiece of the D.C. museum will be the "Spirit of Washington, D.C." exhibit. Everyone from Lincoln to (and I love this) a Watergate-era Bob Woodward at his desk. For those not rocked by the Americana theme, there will also be a "Glamour" exhibit featuring the waxen likenesses of Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts and J.Lo. And, last but not least, this gem:
"Stop by America's "sweetheart", Katie Couric for an exclusive interview about your experience while friends and family watch you on a nearby TV Monitor."
Didn't someone tell them she's last in the ratings? How embarassing.
The GoG Blog has details on the weekend's full opening festivities.
Liz Kelly: And I'd love to see Britney on "Dancing With the Stars." If she could lay off the lattes and the recreational pharmaceuticals she'd probably kick major rear, y'all.
In fact, "Dancing" might not be the worst way for her to mount a career comeback. She could at least end up somewhere comfortable -- a Branson theater production at least.
SCGirl: Hey Liz, what are your thoughts on last Sunday's Rock of Love finale? I'm so glad Jess won over trashy Heather....
Liz Kelly: Oh yes! Thank you. I have been so verklempt about Brit this week (more on this next) that I completely forgot to comment on the "Rock of Love" finale.
I knew he was going to pick Jes. From the outset she was the most interesting and genuine person on the show (though that probably ain't saying much considering the competition). She was a ringer. But of course we had to sit through weeks of Lacey and Heather drama to get to this point.
My final thoughts on Heather: She showed her true nature when she lost by walking out without saying a thing to Bret (and he was all dudded up in his nice grit clothes, too) and then proceeding to trash him in the limo interview footage. Good riddance. Also, the dress and hair for that final scene -- terrifying. She looked like a lineback wearing a banana peel. Seriously, I had nightmares about her that night.
Dupont Circle, Washington, D.C.: Liz,
I know everyone is sick of Britney and just want her to go away, but how is the public supposed to react to a walking train wreck like that? Can't you see the huge amount of backlash should the woman die of her erratic dangerous behaviors or, worse, commit suicide? I mean, my friends have made bets on who will die first: Brit, Winehouse or Lohan? If people can see that kind of destructive behavior, what, if anything, should we be doing about it?
Liz Kelly: I'm glad you wrote.
I was a little chafed earlier this week when a few blog commenters slammed me for spending too much time on Britney Spears. One even said the blog should be called "Britology." Not a bad idea, but I need to go on the record as vigorously disagreeing.
The blog space devoted to Brit is directly proportional to her continued presence in the celebrity news landscape. There's a reason she was voted our Train Wreck of the Year back in June and it's because the hits just keep on coming. It would be irresponsible for me to effectively say "Well, we're all tired of Brit so I'm going to stop covering her until I feel like it again."
Trust me, sometimes there's nothing I'd rather do than ignore Brit, but for better or worse, she's news. We're watching someone self-destruct in possibly the most public display ever. So the events themselves and, hopefully, some perspective on them are critical to the mission of the blog.
Sure, Monday might've seemed excessive. I posted the piece about the Britney art show in the morning. How was I to know that mere hours later she would lose custody of her kids? I could hardly let that slip by without comment.
So, just so we're clear -- Brit's here to stay. For now. And, in fact, she may figure in tomorrow's Friday list. No groans!
Fairfax, Va.: Was the groom wearing pleated tuxedo pants?
Liz Kelly: Funny you should ask...
Desp. skg. fashion advice: O celebritologist and fashion maven: We know where you stand on pleats and ink. Please weigh in on one more debate my SO and I have been having:
For men's dress pants: cuffs, no cuffs or either is acceptable? Thanks.
Liz Kelly: I'm no Stacy London, but I think it depends on the relative busy-ness of the rest of the ensemble -- the cut and fabric. Also I would imagine that it could make someone who is vertically challenged look more so because it stops the line of the leg.
However, my friend Dave who dresses well (or his wife dresses him well) says:
"Either is acceptable, so far as I'm concerned. I was brought up on the preppy 1 1/4 cuff on a straight legged pant. BUT, my wife has derailed me from my Broooks Bros single track into banana republic, etc. and those look better without. If the inseam is longish and the pants are at all not dead straight, probably better uncuffed. A cuff on a long, sloppy pair of pants looks awful."
Clearly there is some wiggle room here. Sorry, this probably doesn't help much. Anyone out there care to help?
Liz Kelly: Rocci the producer says:
pleated dress pants, cuffs. flat front, no cuffs
But that supposes that it is ever okay to wear pleats and it most certainly is not.
Re: proceeding to trash him in the limo interview footage.: Seriously. If you truly love someone you want them to be happy. And healthy. What's with the "I want to drive the dune buggy, sorry you're having an insulin problem."
Liz Kelly: Ya. Though didn't that strike you as ridiculously contrived? I find it hard to believe that even Heather would ignore someone's direct cry for help.
Dancing With the Stars: Can we get Heather from "Rock of Love" on there too? Would love to see that.
Liz Kelly: Only if a stripper pole is installed on set.
Philly: Ugh. Would someone please slip Sarah Jane Parker a cookie or twelve? That wedding dress is -- horrible -- on that bony body of hers.
Liz Kelly: She's got a nice, trim bod but that dress is at least four sizes too big. I think Patricia Field is just playing with us now.
Virginia: I love this: "looks like a pair of granny glasses" -- so true! I've heard that this is a dream sequence and that's why the bridesmaid dresses are so unflattering and unattractive as well... let's hope so! Pics of them at the bottom of this if you haven't seen them yet. Carrie finally walks down the aisle, but is it happily ever after? (Daily Mail, Oct. 4)
Liz Kelly: Now that makes some sense. Lets hope. Though there were some pictures last week of SJP wearing a hideous white dress with a massive flower at the neck accompanied by black sandals. I can't find it now, but it's out there. Unless the whole movie is a dream sequence, I think we may be in for some seriously barfy clothes.
Ashburn, Va.: Do you know if Lust, Caution is coming to the D.C./Virginia area before the end of October? I keep trying to find information but am having troubles!
Liz Kelly: I saw a trailer for it a few weeks ago at the Shirlington theater, so I'm sure it's coming -- when is the question. I'm asking in-house movie guru Jen Chaney.
Liz Kelly: Jen answers: "It arrives on Friday."
This is why she is a movie guru and I am a hapless victim of the Hollywood marketing machine. Without that vital knowledge, I might have made the fatal mistake of seeing "Feel the Noise."
M Street NW, Washington, D.C.: For how long now has Sarah Jessica Parker looked like Meryl Streep? I think I'd even give Meryl the nod over Sarah, judging from that pic.
Liz Kelly: Really? I don't see it.
Downtown at my desk: Liz, I cannot believe you just ruined the SATC movie for me! I didn't need to know that she gets married....ahhh
Liz Kelly: Oh come on. Like we can't all see the entire plot coming from 100 miles away?
Carrie and Big marry. Carrie chafes at being a wife and not a hot single anymore. Various goofy subplots unfold around the three stooges (Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha) to lighten up the over-dramatic main action. Happy ending.
byool, IN: You're going to bring a digital camera into a movie theater? Who will take over Celebritology when they send you up to the Big House for movie piracy?
Liz Kelly: You underestimate my stealth prowess. I'd have thought better of you Byoo.
Chicago, Ill.: Liz,
My husband was at the Sundance Resort yesterday for a conference. He saw Lindsay Lohan in the lobby with her dad. So it looks like your "rumor mill" item about her leaving rehab with him (at least temporarily) is true.
Liz Kelly: Thanks Chicago.
You heard it here first, people.
Washington, D.C. : So now Paris Hilton wants to focus on hunger in Africa? What happened to breast cancer, being a role model for young girls, and MS? Did she get bored with those already?
Liz Kelly: Well, I suppose she theoretically has time for Africa, breast cancer awareness, being a role model and discovering Swedish models (see this morning's Mix). Hmm... which one of these is not like the other?
Carrie's dress: "It's too big, it's hideously ugly, and it's not really Carrie, I think."
Hmm. Well, I loved the show (to the extent of shelling out for the complete DVD set), and I don't think there was a single time in 6 seasons that Carrie wore anything I would be caught dead in. OK, maybe a simple cocktail dress or two, but that's it. Her clothes were so consistently atrocious and over-the-top that I'd say, yeah, that dress, and especially the feather thing, are EXACTLY what I would expect Carrie to wear to her wedding.
But who cares anyway -- I'll be staring at Chris Noth...
Liz Kelly: I'm with you there. Mr. Big remains in my top five.
Rocci the producer, by the way, thinks they're all over the hill -- especially Big.
Ripotookus, W.Va.: Liz:
Yikes! That's some video of Johnny Fairplay and Danny Bonaduce. But do either of them qualify as "celebrities"?
Liz Kelly: Are you fer real? Danny Bonaduce has been a celebrity since, like, 1972. Sure, he's C or D list, but celebrity nonetheless.
I loved that video. I can't explain, but I watched it three or four times. I think it's the little swagger Danny does after heaving Fairplay to the floor.
Baldwin battle: Alec Baldwin's threat to leave "30 Rock" to get his personal life straightened out seems to have evaporated as he is shown in tonight's season opening episode. But whatever happened with the ongoing custody battle over his daughter Ireland? Or was this declared a gag order situation by the judge? (Something that is sorely needed in the Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards mudfest.)
Liz Kelly: Yep. Gag order in effect.
Though David Letterman did ask Baldwin about his relationship with Ireland last night on his show. Baldwin, according to TMZ, said: His friends thought "releasing that [tape] was worse than chewing out a kid ... my mother used to hit us with a curtain rod ... and that video's going to be on TMZ as well."
Good to see he's finally taking this all so seriously.
Come ON: Ghosts of Hollywood Past? Don't you wish. Billy and Jack ain't no has-beens. The dudes on TMZ have no idea who Lorna Luft is, Okay, fair enough. But these stalwarts are still in the mainstream and you know it.
Liz Kelly: I'm sorry, but there is no way that Billy Crystal is still a "stalwart" of mainstream entertainment. That dog had his day and it is O-V-E-R. Sure, we cried with him in "When Harry Met Sally," we laughed along with "City Slickers," we shifted uncomfortably in our seats all eight times he hosted the Oscars. Thankfully the worst we can expect from him now is the random photo op.
Jack, sure, he's golden. An untouchable. But Billy? Yech.
This is a dream sequence : you mean a nightmare.
Liz Kelly: Acid trip, even.
Karma, LaND: Jenna Bush and Britney Spears were born a week apart in 1981. They certainly find themselves receiving vastly different media coverage this week.
Liz Kelly: And, in fact, in the same week in 1981 Wojciech Jaruzelski declared martial law in Poland, to prevent the dismantling of the communist system by solidarity.
Dismissed as coincidence.
LiLo leaving rehab: Isn't she supposed to go on some 5-day cabin/mountain retreat with her dad, and then return to rehab? The girl needs to stay a while longer to get rid of her skin color that resembled the pumpkin she was picking the other day.
Liz Kelly: Well, if you're looking for her to lose that radioactive glow in rehab, you might be disappointed. Lilo found the local tanning salon within days of arriving at Cirque -- so it's there to stay, for now.
Alexandria, Va.: That dress that SJP is wearing is the ugliest I've ever seen. And what's with the parrot on her head? They're worse than the stereotypical red state white lace wedding gown with long lace poufy sleeves, sweetheart neckline, poufy skirt and full veil! (My cousin and her brother's wife both wore dresses like this back in the early 90's, and they live in St. Louis, so I know of which I speak!).
I want to see SJP's shoes. I have a Haxian-like shoe habit...
Liz Kelly: Don't we all. Knowing Carrie, it's six-inch stilettos. Possibly Christian Laboutin. Love those red soles.
But we'd hardly expect to see Carrie in something understated like Vera Wang (who is quickly becoming the Jessica McClintock of the new millennium). Maybe Marc Jacobs could whip up a little confection that would be more fitting. Or Prada. SJP shines in Prada.
Boynton Beach, Fla.: Check out the second item: Even SJP wouldn't wear that thing. You think she'd have a say about Carrie's wedding attire. Maybe they're filming what turns out to be Carrie's bad dream -- a very, very bad dream.
Sarah Jessica Parker (People)
Here's a summary from another site:
Liz Kelly: Thanks. Though her black confection could've been equally pouf-a-delic.
Re: you just ruined the SATC movie : It's hard to have a chat if we can't talk about anything.
Liz Kelly: Well, there's always the pleated pants thing.
Brit-Twit: Trust me, sometimes there's nothing I'd rather do than ignore Brit, but for better or worse, she's news.
Come on Liz -- she's only news because media outlets insist on following her ridiculous antics and making her news.
Someone needs to step up to the plate and refuse to continue to perpetuate the cycle.
There are plenty of actual newsworthy celebtities. Those you'd actually want your children to emulate.
Think about it.
Liz Kelly: Sure. But the last time I checked most consumers don't pick up supermarket tabloids to read up on celebs worth emulating.
Though a narrow slice of the news pie, this is the same good vs. bad news conundrum all over again. Unfortunately, when things are going as they should -- for the economy, for celebs, for whatever -- we tend to accept that as the norm and move on. When any of the above jack knife, well, we pay attention.
Pay attention now: Britney is jack knifing. And she's choosing to do so publicly. In the Carl's Jr. parking lot, of all places.
Since when has Billy Crystal been washed up?: He's had a thriving Broadway and now touring stand-up comedy act for the last few years. Maybe he needs to crash a few cars.
Sorry, that was probably to snarky.
Liz Kelly: Not too snarky at all. But he's hardly at the vanguard of the entertainment industry. He hasn't starred in a movie since 2002.
Washington, D.C.: I cannot believe that you aren't breaking down the "Rock of Love" finale. It was so good, I felt like the reddest of rednecks just watching it. It makes me giggle out loud everytime I think about Heather trying to pass herself off as 31. Huh! She's spent 31 years as a woman maybe....
Liz Kelly: Dude -- we talked "Rock of Love" above and I'm all for more. Bring it on.
And, ya, there's no way Heather is 31. If she is, I'm 15 and three quarters.
Party Invite For Liz and Mr. Liz: Can we send you an invite to our annual Oktoberfest party on the 13th?
Liz Kelly: Sure! Drop us a line at email@example.com. Oompa!
She theoretically has time for Africa: Well, she's got time, yes. But she's yet to do anything about any of the issues she claimed she was going to devote her life to, now that she's found God and all that.
Liz Kelly: She is planning a trip to Rwanda, though. To do what, I don't know, but she claims even her presence will make a difference:
"There's so much need in that area and I feel like if I go, it will bring more attention to what people can do to help."
Let's finish her sentence, shall we?
...people can do to help keep me tied up in an underwater cage for the duration of the decade.
Heather's tattoo: How long before she gets it removed? She needs to find her another dude named Bret. Rock of Love, 2nd Season: Heather dates guys named Bret and finds true love with one of them.
Liz Kelly: No no, I think for season 2 they need to find another has-been grit rocker in need of a career boost and not afraid to mix it up with a house full of potentially infectious exotic dancers.
What about the guy from Winger? You know, Winger.
SJP: A few years ago, I heard a comedian in San Francisco open his act with "Sarah Jessica Parker is the Dee Snyder of the millenium!" Even though I love SJP, I have to say sometimes I can see where he would get that.
Liz Kelly: Not a bad observation. They definitely have the hair in common.
West Palm Beach, Fla.: I agree with you about Britney. She is news. Remember when Madonna was ready to anoint her the "new" Madonna? Maybe Britney needs a Madonna intervention. And Christina Aguilera could show up, too. You know -- for old time's sake. Wax that!
Liz Kelly: Finally, someone who isn't sick of Brit.
RE: Party Invite For Liz and Mr. Liz:: Hey, play nice. If you don't have enough invites for all of us, no fair taunting us with it.
Liz Kelly: True true...
Boston, Mass.: What's the over/under in terms of when Matt Damon divorces his wife after she looked at the pile of scripts Matt was prepping to film this fall and asking him if he wanted her to remain his wife? He's cutting back for now and overall he seems like a good family guy but at some point he is going to resent it, troubles will ensue and a split will come (sadly). If you could just get rid of Mr. Liz you could be there for Matt in his hour of need. It's been said you are a good listener...
Liz Kelly: Much as I'd like to be there for Matt, I have a feeling that things between he and the Mrs. are fine. He's notorious for having a sense of humor and -- like his pal George Clooney -- pulling a fast one on the press from time to time.
If forced to analyze this more, I'd have to go on and say that Matt strikes me as a pretty steady guy. A guy who knows how to balance work and family without having artificial limits placed on him by the wife. I think this was just his way of saying he knows he's been working too much and it's time to slow down.
With both "Departed" and the latest "Bourne" outing under his belt in the past year, he's doing just fine. There's also been a few hints that he and best friend Ben Affleck may be collaborating on a script for the first time since "Good Will Hunting" and, to top it all off, he's got four movies listed as "in production" for 2009. One of which, by the way, is an adaptation of "Imperial Life in the Emerald City," the Pulitzer Prize-winning book by The Post's own Rajiv Chandrasekaran. IMDB says the project will be helmed by Paul Greengrass -- he of "Bourne Ultimatum" and "United 93" glory.
Arlington, Va.: So what about Amy Beehive Winehouse -- is she out of re-hab? Is she saying "yes, yes, yes" to getting her life straightened out. What will her new creative muse be?
Liz Kelly: She's not in rehab, but has been conspicuously absent from the tabloids lately. Perhaps she and Blake are keeping their sideshow in the house these days.
Her new creative muse? How about a 31-year-old stripper with a tattooed neck?
Over the Hill: I've seen Chris Noth twice in person: once I sat next to him on the N.Y. subway early in the SATC days, and then I saw him from about ten feet away on the street about a year ago. He aged a lot between those two sightings. Unlike George Clooney, he has not aged well.
Liz Kelly: Oh. Worse luck for him.
Boynton Beach, Fla.: Liz, you didn't ruin the SATC movie. The suits who decided to make it ruined it the moment the ink was dry on the contracts. Kim Cattrall should have continued to stonewall them. We all owe Kim a debt of gratitude for holding out as long as she did.
Liz Kelly: Thank you. You are right. The whole idea of a movie is maddening.
To think this tripe is getting made while the "Deadwood" set is being disassembled even as I type. As Al Swearingen would say, "C*(%$_(%@#$"
Arlington, Va.: I know celebrities whine and complain about the paparazzi all day and I can somewhat understand, although I don't sympathize enough not to look at the pictures.
However, I find it irritating that nowadays whenever a movie is being filmed, we see a day-by-day still photo collage online and in magazines of actors on the set, in costume, filming, etc.
I'm not asking specifically because of all the SATC talk, because I totally agree with you that this movie is going to be predictable and full of fug clothes. I would just think stars would be more upset with the prospect of people not seeing their movie because photos taken during filming basically give away the story or make people sick of it before it comes out.
Liz Kelly: Right. Another casualty of the 24/7 celeb-news cycle.
Delray Beach, Fla.: Although not an avid Rock of Love watcher, I do like to keep up on all things cheese-tastic. That said, the reunion episode will be on Sunday at 8 p.m. and I think I may have to make that appointment viewing.
Liz Kelly: Oh totally. I am all over the reunion show. I'm hoping a "Flavor of Love" New York-style melee breaks out between Heather and Lacey.
Speaking of Lacey -- girl needs some therapy.
Paris' better half?: It seems like, since pregnancy, Nicole Richie has finally gotten her act together. Or am I imagining things?
Liz Kelly: No, you're right. Nicole seems to be making all the right moves. She gives every indication of finally growing up. Will it last? Remember, Brit was relatively well-behaved when preggo both times. But at least in Nicole's case she seems to have a strong ally in boyfriend Joel Madden, who is sober himself.
Mens Wear Dept, Tysons Corner: Does Mr. Liz wear spandex or loose fitting bicycle shorts?
Liz Kelly: I don't think he has any bicycle shorts. Depends on where he's going, I guess.
I can assure, though, that there is no spandex in his warddrobe.
Annandale, Va.: Liz,
You have made me a dlisted addict. It is the first thing I check when I get home from work. The writing is some of the snarkiest and spot on commentary anywhere. Celebs are reduced to being human, instead of mythic.
Liz Kelly: Great, thanks Annandale. Anywhere else you want to send Celebritology readers? Us? EW?
Washington, D.C.: I have to say though about the Rock of Love finale ... The two-minute scene of Hheather getting ready for the final elmination was some of the most hilarous footage ever! The closeup of her 80s hair (was that a "bang cam" actually in her hair? ) and the closeup of her taking a shot of vodka and grunting was so priceless!. God it was awesome. I can't wait till next weeks follow up!
Liz Kelly: Yah, she's a jewel. I should try to interview her.
Ooh, a project!
Mens Wear Dept, Tysons Corner: Wedding dress???!?!
That schmata looks more like a first communion or confirmation dress.
Liz Kelly: Schmata. Ha.
Britneyland: Hey Liz, I defend your decision to include Britney news in the blog. If readers of your blog are tired of hearing about Spears, then here's a novel idea -- don't read the posts about her! It's a free country, and everyone can decide what they want to read, just as Liz can decide what goes into her blog!
Liz Kelly: Chris Crocker, everyone.
The New Bret: I believe Winger (Kip?) is married, lives out West, and produces (if I remember my VH1 correctly).
Season 2 should have the guy from Ratt.
Liz Kelly: Oooh! Stephen Pearcy? Loved those strategically placed scarves.
Winger: Oh, right, like anyone is going to want to tattoo "Kip" on her neck.
(And why oh why do I still know that?)
Liz Kelly: Ha! What about Nelson? Both of them.
Minnesota: A Minnesota judge today denied Sen. Larry Craig's request to withdraw his guilty plea to a disorderly conduct charge stemming from his arrest in an airport men's room sex sting. I'm thinking of an animinated movie version with Mr. Burns of the Simpsons playing Sen. Craig?
Liz Kelly: I think, actually, it would have to be Waylon Smithers in the Craig role, if you get my meaning.
Dakota Territory: "Deadwood" set being dismantled?! Did I miss something? I thought there was still a chance at HBO making those movies, especially now that "John from Cincinnati" bombed.
Liz Kelly: Nay. According to an interview with Ian McShane posted earlier this week on Cinematical the movies are officially scrapped. I am seething about this. We should start some kind of grassroots campaign to get "Deadwood" returned to production.
Calgary, Canada: Of course Brit is news. Even Dr. Phil is doing a whole show on her today! I think in the ads he portentiously intoned, "It may be time for Brit to be committed," which is really the big time.
Liz Kelly: Yes, Dr. Phil -- that compassionate, giving man -- is offering Britney his help.
Alexandria, Va.: Matt Damon is a riot and must have been joking when talking about his wife. Did ya see him on Letterman a while back? An "audience member" asked Dave who his favorite actor was (on the night Matt was a guest) and Dave answered "Tom Hanks." Camera pans to Matt Damon who's sitting in the front row of the studio audience, looking not happy and shaking his head. It was very funny! Matt's a terrific actor -- totally had me creeped as Mr. Ripley, but great in the Bourne series...
Liz Kelly: Ya, he's hilarious. Remember the Jimmy Kimmel "Bourne" spoof trailer from earlier this year. Damon totally played along with that, too.
Arlington, Va.: Just because someone hasn't been in a movie (or TV) for a while doesn't mean anything. Please note there is something called the Big White Way. And the West End. And thousands of live touring shows everyday.
Liz Kelly: Okay, thank you, Tommy Tune. We hear you.
Rock of Love, Part 2: I vote for Don Dokken, from Dokken. Because I love sayng Rockin' with Dokken.
Liz Kelly: Dude. Dokken would so rocken.
Or maybe Rob Halford from Iron Maiden? It could be the first gay spin on this formula.
Boynton Beach, Fla.: Paris Hilton's quest for a meaningful existence is about as fruitful as OJ's search for "the real killer." Good lord, I hope Paris has the decency to not regale us with a similarly retarded book.
Liz Kelly: Yes, that comparison crossed my mind, too.
Herndon, Va.: Hi Liz,
Not a celeb sighting, just a personal observation....
I saw your recent post about your love/hate feelings toward Krav Maga. My neighbor had been bugging me for 6 months to go and try it out with her, and I finally went on Tuesday night. Like you, I felt fine the next morning, though a little sore in the chest. But by the end of the day on Wednesday, I was such a slug, and sore all over. My neck and shoulders STILL hurt! I feel like I have PMS AND got run over by a truck!
Are you really going to do it? Honestly, I had my mind made up before the class was done that I wouldn't be back, but the studio's $99/month price tag (IF you buy a 2 year membership) was enough to seal that coffin. I came home and told my SO about the experience, and he said, "if you want to fight people, we can go down to the local fight club for free." Damn skippy.
Liz Kelly: I don't have as much time to devote to this answer as I'd like.
Suffice to say I've continued the Krav. I love it so far. Huge workout and lots of fun. Maybe it's because of the good company, but I'm sticking with it for now.
Heather: OMG!Please please please interview her! We can send in questions. Not that you couldn't think of your own, of course, but oooooo! I love this idea!
Liz Kelly: I'll do my best. Heather will have nowhere to hide from the Celebritology reportage apparatus.
Bogo, TA: You ever talk with Howard Kurtz about Brit-Twit? His cri-de-coeur a couple of days ago seemed pretty heart-felt... if a little misguided.
After all, it's hard for the rest of us to take her loss any more seriously than she does herself -- failing to comply with ANY of the judge's orders, dropping the kids off two days early and then heading for the tanning salon hardly make it seem like she's devastated.
Liz Kelly: Good point, Bogota. And the fact that she doesn't seem to realize the gravity of her current situation makes it all the more compelling.
And, no, I haven't had a conversation with Kurtz about Brit. Nor have we talked about Lilo, Paris or "Rock of Love." Maybe someday, if I'm lucky.
Los Angeles, Calif.: Sadly, I don't think there's much of a chance of Deadwood returning --MacShane and Oliphant are getting so much feature film work these days they don't need to revisit the golden well. I could weep -- some of the best writing in television was on that show.
Liz Kelly: Agreed.
It was just all left so much up in the air. We were promised that some of the plot points would be resolved in these two movies. Now we'll forever wonder what would have happened.
At least "Big Love" is still on tap.
Bicycle Shorts : Ain't no shame if there is spandex in Mr. Liz's closet. My fiance is a triathlete, and while I never thought I'd go for the shaved legs and spandex look, I realized quickly that it's not all that bad (as long as it's worn only for training....and hey, it could be pleated pants)
Liz Kelly: Well, I'll end on this note. It always comes back to clothes around here, somehow.
See you here next week and every day in the blog.
Washington, DC.: Rob Halford is from Judas Priest.
Liz Kelly: Augh! I meant Judas Priest. Honest. I just get my leather bands mixed up from time to time.
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