Need advice about how to handle your personal finances? Whether the struggle is saving for retirement, organizing your bank files, talking about money responsibility with your spouse or loved one, Post personal finance columnist Michelle Singletary offers her advice and answers your tough questions.

A transcript follows.

Read Michelle's latest columns, check out her Color of Money Book Club selection archive or sign up for her weekly e-mail newsletter.

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Michelle Singletary: Good afternoon to you all. There are lots of questions already so let's get started.

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Washington, D.C.: Wanted to tell a consumer rights story. I made reservations at a famous hotel in NYC in June and they told me whenever i arrived, i'd have the run of the place but when i arrived, they kept me waiting for five hours and even then claimed not to have a room so I left and disputed the charge and won, but then they rebilled me and i had to dispute the charge again. Finally, after reasoning with their London head office, they did credit me but it was a battle, but i say to people, if you're dissatisfied, then make them fight for it.

Michelle Singletary: Great story about fighting for your rights. Good for you!

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Fort Washington, Md.: Hello Michelle,

I have 50,000 in student loans, a 200,000 mortgage, and a low interest rate 35,000 home equity loan that I used to pay for my car note and credit card bills. I have a second house which I have rented, but it does not stay rented all the time. Therefore, it is very stressful to pay two mortgages. My monthly salary is 3600. I want to know how do I go about paying off all my debts, have money to save, and have money to take a nice annual international vacation and live a comfortable financially stress-free life? Thank you. Anxiously waiting.

Michelle Singletary: First, repeat after me, "I can't do it all."

You are fixing your money problems by borrowing. That has got to stop. You didn't pay off that car note and credit card, you just moved around the debt and attached it to your home.

Would you consider selling the rental? And if there is equity, use that money to really pay off the equity loan and any other debt.

I think you are on the edge financially and if anything major happens, a job loss, disability or you can't find a renter for a while you will be taken down.

On $3,600 a month and all that debt you are living dangerously. So I would say no vacations -- international or otherwise -- for some time until you get that debt paid off or considerably down.

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Northern Virginia: Is it at all possible to have a $10,000 wedding in this area, with a 200-person guest list, including dinner? Please help!

Michelle Singletary: It's definitely possible to have a wedding for $10,000 but it means scaling back what you want.

I don't think you can invite 200 people unless you serve just cake and Kool-Aid.

Or have relatives cook and serve

Or do it someone backyard

See where I'm going?

STart by asking if you really need to have 200 people. I know you know a lot of folks but 200 who NEED to see you get married?

Just asking.

It's $10,000 really your budget, you can have a nice, small wonderful wedding. However, you will have to focus on the things that really matter.

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Fairfax, Va.: Hi Michelle:

Maybe this isn't the best question for you since you're such a get-out-of debt guru, but my parents have asked me for help with retirement planning. They are six years away and have about $200,000 saved and own their house. Currently the $200k is invested in a way that isn't even keeping up with inflation.

Could you give me some resources for helping them find a safe, but higher yielding place to stash their cash? Thanks for your help!

Michelle Singletary: Not sure if you mean I can't answer other questions because I advocate getting out of debt.

But I can.

Hire a fee-only financial planner. Perhaps they need someone to go over their entire retirement plan to make sure all the basis are covered. To find such a planner asked around for recommendations.

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Washington DC Re: emergency money: I have six figures in non-retirement money invested through a financial planner. Would you advise that I count a portion of that as my emergency? Or should I keep a separate account (e.g., ING Direct)?

I would personally feel better keeping it myself, but that results in my having more cash than my advisor recommends. What do you think?

Michelle Singletary: I think it's important to keep money in which the principle is protected but is saved in a way that has a chance to keep pace with inflation. when you invest, you risk losing the money. Your emergency money shouldn't be put at risk. So that leaves, savings account, money market, CDs, etc.

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Huntsville, Ala.: Thank you 3x's over for your column. Here is my situation ... My parents have been in IRS tax hell for over 15 years. They owe over $100k and the issue has just lingered for all this time. Unfortunately, Mom (the one who was actually taking care of this situation) passed away and Dad is in total denial re: the debt. Dad isn't in a good financial place and has a hard time discussing his finances with me and never gives me the "full" state of affairs. His pride is standing in the way. I feel like the IRS can come at any time and wipe him out. As the oldest and most responsible child they have, what should I do?

Michelle Singletary: First, try as hard as you can to get your dad to come clean. Go thu everything. You can't help if you don't know the full picture.

Then get some advice from a tax professional on how best to approach the IRS. If your dad's income is very low, he may qualify for a payment plan or an offer in compromise. There is a 10-year statute of limitations on tax debt collection so it MAY (and that is a huge MAY) be possible for him to get some of it discharged.

Honestly, you need to seek professional advice on this. That debt is indeed huge and I'm surprised the IRS hasn't already taken action. If you have a tax person, start there. But you will probably need to contact someone who deals with this type of problem specifically.

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Washington, D.C.: I have 14,400 in student loans at variable 6.82%. I have 40,000 in 401(k) (i put in 5% to get the match) and 3,500 in emergency fund. where should i put the extra money i have every month? I have roughly 2,000 extra every month.

Michelle Singletary: Seriously.

You have $2,000 extra every month and you are unsure about paying off $14,400 in student loan debt?

If that $3,500 covers a few months of living expenses, go for the student loan debt.

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Washington, D.C.: Hello Michelle,

What do you think about 529 College Plans?

Also, my wife and I will be retiring in 15 years. Our goal is to pay off our home as soon as possible. Our loan is for 25 years.

Can you help?

Phillip

Michelle Singletary: I think 529 plans are a good way to save for college. It's what I do for all three of my rugrats. And I get a state tax break for each account in Maryland.

Go to www.savingforcollege.com to learn more about it. But basically money grows tax free and when it is withdrawn for qualified school expenses you don't pay tax on the withdrawals.

Love the goal of paying off the house before you retire. My goal too --earlier if I can.

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Rockville, Md: I just saw in your e-letter (apparently I missed the column) in which you suggested it would be reasonable for a federal employee to stop his TSP contributions to pay off credit card debt. Your letter cited critics who pointed out the employee would be giving up the federal matching this way.

There's a simple way around it -- TSP has a loan program. He could just borrow enough to pay off the debt and stipulate a repayment period equal to how long it would take to cover it with reduced deductions.

To the employee's current cash flow, this would be NO DIFFERENT than stopping the contributions. But the TSP would still grow by the matched amount.

washingtonpost.com: Today's E-letter: Retirement Savings Vs. Paying Down Your Debt| (sign up here)

Michelle Singletary: It would be different. It would be borrowing money to pay off borrowed money.

Folks in this case talking about three months. Not a big deal.

There is risk to taking about the loan. What if the person got fired or quit? Then the loan become immediately due. If he can't pay, penalty and taxes on top of the money owed.

Why is it the answer to debt to borrow more?

Cut expenses, get another job, pay off the debt, that's how it should work.

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Fairfax County, Va.: We are selling our Vacation Home and expect a net return of $240,000. What is the best place to use these funds considering the current financial conditions? 1. Pay down our Primary Residence mortgage; approx $300,000 at 5.25 percent

2. Pay off the Home Equity Line of Credit; approx $40,000 at 8.25 percent

3. Pay off the US Gov TSP loan; approx $20,000 at 4.125 percent

4. Keep 1, 2, and/or 3 going as is (monthly payments approx $5,000) and put the money in our investment portfolio.

Monthly income approx $11,000 ($7,000 after deductions)

Michelle Singletary: Me, I would pay off the home equity and TSP loan.

That leaves you with $180,000.

Then set up a really nice emergency fund (at least six months) and a life happens fund (for the things in life that happens -- car repair, roof need fixing, etc.)

If you have kids juice up their college fund.

Take a look at your retirement savings and see if that needs a boost.

If all that is covered and covered quite well, I would use the rest to pay down my mortgage. AT your income you could get rid of mortgage debt in no time and then take the payments you would have made on your mortgage and invest that.

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Chantilly, Va.: Michelle, love your columns and advice, both on finance, marriage and religion. Am a new mom, and am wondering of good inexpensive toys for an eight-month-old? Want things for her to play with, but don't want to break the bank. Any good sources or tips are greatly appreciated.

Michelle Singletary: Pots and pans.

Seriously.

With my first kid we bought all these nice toys (not a lot but some). My daugther -- now 12 -- wanted to play with the boxes they toys came in and she would crawl into the kitchen and pull out the pots and pans and bang on them. In fact, we lost our house keys because she found them and put them in a pot in the back of the cabinet.

At that age, you don't need to spend a lot for toys. You might also look at Good Will, ask friends for unused toys, etc.

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Los Angeles, Calif.: Thanks for taking questions, Michelle. I have a friend who's taken on too much credit card debt and is weighing whether or not to take a loan against her 401k to pay off the cards, having no other source of available cash. Your advice?

Michelle Singletary: Has your friend really looked her or his expenses? Really looked hard?

If so, what about a second job?

Again, borrowing money to pay off borrowed money is a dangerous trap. Besides this is also about getting folks to do some hard things to pay off the debt. If they have to cut expenses and work a second job, guess what?

They tend not to get back into debt. They remind themselves of the hard work.

Besides when you take out a loan from your retirement account, you remove money that could be earning a return for well, retirement.

Encourage your friend to do whatever he or she can to find the money without taking out the loan.

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Washington, D.C.: We had a 50 person wedding at a very nice hotel in DC, including a limited open bar (wine and beer only) for $5000. And that was for everything from food, to dress, to invites, to flowers. No sit down dinner, just passed and buffet hors d' ouevres. There was plenty of food.

No attendants. Flowers only for me and corsages for the moms. I wore a bridesmaid dress (not that anyone could tell) and he wore a suit he already owned with a new shirt/tie. We designed the invitations ourselves and printed at Kinkos. Made donations to our favorite charities in lieu of favors. Spent a lot on a photographer because it was one of the few times we'd have our then-living grandmothers together.

Think small. Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize. Control your guest list (you can do it! Some parents may be a bit riled but if you're paying they've a lot less to say). Good luck.

Michelle Singletary: Great advice.

Hey for my wedding, I bougth a used dress. I figured the bride who wore it before me wasn't going to be at the wedding.

I got my cousin to drive us to the church and reception.

Same thing, limited the flowers.

Got a friend to DJ the music.

Will be married 16 years in Nov. Know folks who spent three or four times what I spent and they have long been divorced.

It's just a day. Focus on the life.

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Reston, VA: Hi, Michelle--

Wanted to thank you for your level-headed advice. I'm a single mom of a wonderful 6 year old, and I currently have a mortgage (fixed rate, and bought a much less expensive condo with low fees instead of a bigger townhouse, in her school district) and no other debt.

Before, I was married to someone who liked to live high and thought nothing of carrying debt. Unfortunately, I got into that habit with him--when before that, I saved, never used credit cards, bought a used car cash. After the divorce, he stopped paying child support, despite the best efforts of the commonwealth to enforce the court order. Rather than continue the cycle of debt-spending, at a time when I made much less than I do now and $ was tight, I made sure I could always live on my salary alone.

Fast forward to this year, when the courts finally started wage garnishment and child support for my daughter has started. Every month, that $ goes into her 529 plan, and other safe, long-term investments. I don't count it as "extra" income that would justify a bigger house, newer car, etc. It's going to be her money, to make sure she gets off on the right financial footing.

Thanks!

Michelle Singletary: Love stories of financial survival like this.

You go girl/mom/fellow penny pincher!

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Southern Maryland: We created our true emergency fund (no job, illness, accident, evacuation) by using US Savings I Bonds thru payroll deduction. It's not fancy, chic, smooth or en vogue. It just a dull old fashion way to create a stash that takes a moment to cash. The best thing is that I can cash it in Iowa or Maine. I started getting I Bonds because some travel advice said to carry a few US Bonds for emergency travel backup, e.g., car repair, since US Bonds can be cashed at any bank.

Michelle Singletary: Another option.

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Washington, D.C.: Hi, Michelle. I'm doing OK, if I say so myself. Single, good income, no debts except mortgage, fully funded IRAs, health insurance, credit score 817. But several months ago it struck me I still run through a considerable amount of money. Institute a few relatively painless changes, I've come up with hundreds of dollars to invest or donate to charity. These include the basic brown bag lunches, buying sundries and cleaning products at the Dollar Store, checking out free or reduced price cultural events (2d tier obstructed view seats at the Ken Cen Concert Hall have the best sound in the place, and who cares if you can't see if you're listening to an orchestra?) But my biggest money saver is: toss all catalogs before you look at them! Once I start paging through, I'm hooked. Box after box of unneeded items show up on my doorstep. On occasion, I still allocate a small amount of mad money to catalog shopping, and I still enjoy it. But I enjoy even more watching those dollars accumulate where they will do some good.

Michelle Singletary: Hey, even I have to revisit my budget every now and then to capture money I'm wasting.

And totally agree about the catalogs.

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Washington, D.C.: I have had a few family emergencies that require me to come up with money I did not have. I borrow money from 4 payday loan institutions and now I'm having problems paying them because it takes all of my money for everyday living expenses. What can I do?

Michelle Singletary: Oh you poor dear. I'm so sorry.

I would suggest you contact all the lenders and explain your situation. See if they can put you on a longer pay back plan.

If no, you may have to get another job to work your way out of this situation.

This is yet another example of why I HATE payday loans.

I mean if you don't have the money, how is pledging future pay, which is for most people already spoken for, going to help.

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Washington, D.C.: We have 2,500 in our emergency fund, not enough to cover three months of expenses and we have 2,000 in credit card debt. Do you suggest we continue saving for the emergency fund or pay down the credit card deb first? thanks

Michelle Singletary: In your case, I would concentrate on the credit card debt. Sounds like you have a good start on that emergency fund. And the quicker you get rid of that $2,000 in cc debt, the faster you will be able to jump back to saving.

Just don't add any more debt. Put the cards away.

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Severn, Md.: Hello Michelle,

Love your discussions!, I have been doing my finances your way since I can remember...I am surprised at alot of the questions you receive, guess common sense isn't as common as it use to be.

Michelle Singletary: As my husband says, common sense is uncommon these days.

But really lots of people just don't know. They haven't been taught. They didn't have a Big Mama like I did or life just happened.

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Fairfax, Va.: Michelle,

We were recently told our credit score of 780 was not "good enough" to get the lowest interest rate on a car loan. May I ask, what can we do to increase it, and exactly was IS good enough? I always thought 830 was the highest you could go.

Michelle Singletary: Oh please, what you can do it find another lender. Where you trying to get the loan from a dealer because whoever told you that 780 wasn't good enough is a bum.

Now, were you trying to get a zero-interest loan? Because sometimes they pull that, "You don't have a high enough credit score."

With a 780 score you are just fine. Go shopping some more. Actually if you are a member of a credit union, get your loan there. And with FICO highest is 850 but for a car anything over 700 is usually very good.

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Atlanta, Ga.: Hi Michelle,

My husband and I have too much house. He will not agree to sell, so every month everything I want to save goes to cover making ends meet. I want to be debt-free, he thinks debt is normal. As fast as I pay down credit cards he gets new ones. I pay off a car, he goes and gets another one. There are a 3 and 6 yr. old at stake here. What would you do?

Michelle Singletary: You need counseling.

There is something more going on here than the money thing.

See if you can get your husband to see a counselor. If he won't, you go because you need to figure out ways to make him see how his actions are hurting the family and your trust.

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car loan: I think the zero interest loan is a false enticement to get you into the dealership and then they tell everyone, even those with excellent credit ratings, they weren't good enough, figuring the customer won't want to start over elsewhere, take the slightly higher interest rate and buy the car. It's called bait and switch in the consumer rights world, advertising a benefit you have no intention of offer just to bait people into the store and then offering someelse else as a secondary alternative that isn't as amazing a deal. The amazing deal was never there.

Michelle Singletary: That's what I think too.

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Greenbelt, Md.: Hello,

I need to know the simplest way to create a budget and Track our bills every month. Right now we have a $100K/household income (net) and we can't even pay rent ($900/month) car notes or other necessities on time. As a couple it's ruining our relationship because we're unable to communicate on what to do. Please help us!

Michelle Singletary: BUDGET.

That's what you need. I have a template on my page here at the Post Web site.

But you could also use a budget software like Quicken.

I read your pain in your question. But I do think that sitting down and going thu your expenses will help. Go thu everything. Question every expense. Cut to the bone.

You've got to be serious about it because you shouldn't be having trouble on a six-figure salary paying a $900 note.

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Baltimore, Md.: I have a small student loan ($7000) that I have just entered into repayment on. I was extremely lucky to be able to reconsolidate a while back, so my interest rate on the loan is only 2.8% fixed. Thanks to my new job, I have the cash to pay off the loan in full right now. However, the same amount of cash will earn almost 5% interest in my high yield savings account (where it currently is stashed). So right now, I am making more interest on the money in my savings than I am accruing on the loan. While the interest on the savings account is variable, it is not nearly as unstable as the stock market for example, and there is no chance of losing any of the principle. I am tempted to just pay it off, so I can cross the debt off of my list, but I do have higher interest loan obligations as well (car loan). I have no credit card debt. What would you do in this situation?

Michelle Singletary: I would pay off the higher interest rate car loan. Then if there was money left attack the student loan debt -- as long as you have funds for an emergency (at least 3 months) and a little bit for life happens stuff (car repair).

For me the different in the interest you get on the savings and the interest you pay on the debt wouldn't be worth having that debt hang around.

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College Park, Md.: Michelle,

We recently had some fraudulent charges on one of our credit cards. The credit card company has taken off the fraudulent charges. What else should we be worried about? I was going to check our credit score because of this. Where is the best place to check out our credit information?

Thanks!

Michelle Singletary: If you are worried you are a victim of identity theft put a fraud alert on your credit reports. If not just keep monitoring our credit accounts very carefully.

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Minneapolis, MN: Hi Michelle:

My wife and I (both 26 y/o) are looking to buy a house right now. We sold our condo about 7 months ago, and after doing so, I became unemployed. As a result, we've been living with her parents. I've recently become re-employed and so we're "in a hurry" to get a house of our own and get on with life. We've technically been looking the entire time we've been living with my inlaws. We've found a house that we really like, and made an offer only to find that the people are basically fully mortgaged and unable to negotiate at all. We know the house needs some work, but we really like it. We'd have some money to do the work, possibly not enough for everything, but in time we should be able to do it. It's frustrating in this market not to be able to negotiate, although the house still seems like a decent price. Would we be crazy to buy this place that needs work if they're not able to take anything off the price of the home?

Michelle Singletary: If the house is a fair price even with the repairs AND you can afford the monthly note, then go for it.

But those are big "ifs." Don't take the house if you think it's overpriced or because you are deseparate to get out of your in-law's place.

Me, I might take some time to be sure I'm financially healthy. Make sure you have money saved up besides what you need to get the house. An unemployment for any length of time can drain your finances. Make sure you are strong enough to make this move.

In other words, unless your in-laws are pushing you out the door, take your time. Build up some cash reserves, pay off any debts, etc.

With the housing market the way it is, you should be able to still find a good deal.

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Re: Fairfax second home: Michelle,

I didn't see any mention of the taxes that will be due on the $240K gain. They need to cover that first before they spend anything else.

Michelle Singletary: I believe they did say it was their net.

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Washington D.C.: Michelle, I am freaking out. I put my car up for sale because I can't afford it and don't need it. However, it has been on the market since July and I have not received a single call- not one!! It's a great car, super low mileage, great condition-- I don't understand what gives. Anyway, I am trying to be more aggressive in selling it but in the meantime I am so strained--I'm still paying car payments and insurance for a car I'm not driving. Please tell me that this will work out for me. Soon.

Michelle Singletary: Have you tried Carmax? They buy cars. Might not be as much as you would get from a private buyer but as you say, you haven't had much luck that route anyway.

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New York, N.Y.: I am similiar to the person in your column. I have a TON of debt (mostly school, some credit). I have some retirement savings but not much. I made the decision to put 1 percent away, because I knew that would be the difference between me "trifling" and saving. While it's not going towards paying off my debt, it's still there for me, and it's forcing me to have money somewhere.

washingtonpost.com: Moves That Save, And Parents Who Won't (Color of Money, Oct. 7) | Todays' E-letter

Michelle Singletary: Good for you. Good to save something, anything even while you are getting out of debt so that you don't pile on more debt.

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Courthouse, Va.: My new husband and I received about 10K from my parents because we eloped instead of having a wedding. We have a difference of opinion on what to do with this money.

We both have a fair amount of debt(consumer as a result of some tough times and student loans-total is about 100K). We both are also just starting out and trying to get on our feet.

I think that we should put it in our savings account (which gets 4.5 percent) as a cushion, since we have almost no savings.

My husband thinks that we should use it to pay down some of our debts (about $5000 of which 11 percent APR, by far the highest APR we have).

Other than our difference of opinion on what to do w/this unforeseen money, we have a good plan and are trying to pay down debt as much as possible.

I am worried that if anything were to happen though, since our fixed costs are close to $2500 a month, we would be out of luck if we have no liquid assets.

What would you advise us to do with the money?

Michelle Singletary: Why not a compromise. Save half and use the other half to pay down debt?

That way you both get a little of what you want. I agree with you about having some saved. I agree with him to use some of the windfall to get rid of some of the debt.

Now go home tonight, kiss your hubby, give him a back rub and show him a print out of this chat.

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Michelle Singletary: Well, I'm way over time. So sorry if I didn't get to your question. But keep an eye out for my next e-letter (sign up if you don't already subscribe) and print column. Your question may get answered after all.

Also, don't forget to join me every Sunday from 8 to 10 p.m (EST) on XM 169 The Power. Even if you don't have XM, I can take your question live on the air.

The number is 855 801-8255.

Thanks for joining me today.

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