Talking Fashion

Every other week, Deputy Editor of the Sunday Source Suzanne D'Amato and washingtonpost.com Fashion and Beauty Editor Janet Bennett help build you a better wardrobe. They'll tell you what's in or out of fashion, where to track down the best costume jewelry and help you out on what to wear to your best friend's wedding. So ask questions and share your own great tips and ideas.

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Janet Bennett Kelly: Welcome to our discussion this windy Tuesday, and thanks for joining in. Before Suzanne and I answer your questions, though, I have one for you. I've been reading "Queen of Fashion: What Marie Antoinette Wore to the Revolution" by Caroline Weber, which explains how the French queen used fashion successfully and not so successfully to assert power in the world of Versailles. So, I'm curious, what do you think -- does what you wear influence your behavior and how others treat you?

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Chillum, Md.: Bonjour Suzanne and Janet,

What shoes or boots should a guy buy this winter to look fashionable at work and at play?

Suzanne D'Amato: Bonjour to you, Chillum. I'd suggest black leather ankle boots for you. They'll keep your feet warm, and you can wear them with a suit or with jeans. Just be sure to choose a pair without a lot of hardware or too clunky a sole -- these details can look nice, but they'll make your boots more casual and, in so doing, limit how much use you can get out of them.

Janet, any ideas on great shoes for guys?

Janet Bennett Kelly: I agree with Suzanne on the boot question, and in fact just told my husband I thought he ought to buy a pair. I like cordovan, but black works, too. I am also a fan of Frye boots and Pumas for play.

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White dress help: I need help finding a white dress. To get married in next May. I refuse to go into one of those Scary and Expensive Wedding stores and am really looking for something more simple, less traditional and affordable. Do you guys have any ideas for stores or boutiques that will have some good white non-wedding dresses? I've seen some on Nordstrom's online that I like, but I don't want to buy a dress I haven't tried on. Please save me from David's Bridal!

Suzanne D'Amato: There's a New York-based company named Thread (www.threaddesign.com) that I'd suggest. The brand is actually in the business of making bridesmaids' dresses more than bridal gowns. This, to my mind, is a very good thing for those brides who want less-conventional (and expensive) options. The styles are simple and elegant, with lovely fabrics and great details such as ruched bodices and delicate layered hemlines. And prices are generally in the $300-$600 range -- I'm sorry to report that when it comes to bridal wear this is dirt-cheap!

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Arlington, Va.: Have a holiday party to go to and have a question: stockings with a French heel and seams or a Cuban heel and seams to wear with my little black dress and FMP's?

Suzanne D'Amato: French heels would work better with seamed stockings -- they're more spindly and delicate-looking than Cubans, which make me think of the cast of Saturday Night Fever more than anything else (and I'm not talking about the women).

Now, FMPs: You've lost me. I just Googled it and learned about the Fairfield Methodist Primary School in Singapore. Chatters, can you help?

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Washington, D.C.: Where are the good "vintage boutiques" in the area? I watched the Shopping Detective on the Fine Living network last weekend and am now inspired to find some fabulous pieces. Just have no idea where to start.

Suzanne D'Amato: There are many great options in this area. I particularly like the Remix in Capitol Hill, Meeps on 18th Street NW, Junction on U Street and Annie Creamcheese in Georgetown. The latter is probably the priciest of this grouping, but the quality is also high. Make sure to check out the left side of the store (that's the best way I can think of to describe it), where the designer and collector-grade items are housed. Fun to look at, even if you don't buy a thing.

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Washington, D.C.: I have a black-tie optional holiday party for work and I'm not sure what to wear. I have a halter maxi-dress made out of black jersey that I wore to a friend's outdoor wedding, and was wondering if that would be appropriate to wear again. If so, what kinds of shoes and accessories should I wear to class it up a bit?

Janet Bennett Kelly: Love that the dress is jersey, and yes, I think you can wear it to a black-tie optional party. I'd probably glam it up with a pair of heels and a clutch in satin or a metallic and a flowy scarf or sparkly necklace.

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Maryland: Can peep toe patent leather pumps be worn in the winter? I know patent is a winter "fabric" but peep toes are usually reserved for summer whether. Why would a designer make patent lether, peep toes?

Suzanne D'Amato: These shoes sound like they'd be great for evening, when skin-baring styles are in fashion winter or summer.

That said, I think they certainly can be worn in winter during the day. Just don't wear them with bare feet: You might try pairing tights with your pumps.

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Arlington, Va.: I'd like to help my 58-year-old mother pick out an appropriate pair of jeans (which she hasn't worn for about 30 years). I was thinking that the trouser-style would be best. She has a fairly small frame at 5'2 but is definitely a little rounder than she used to be. I'd guess she's about a size 8 or so. What stores would have a good selection for us to choose from? One caveat -- she's in Philadelphia so boutiques local to D.C. won't work. Thanks!

Janet Bennett Kelly: In my experience, it's deparment stores like Neiman's and Saks that have the widest selection of jeans. For your mom, I'd choose Cambio or Womyn or Christopher Blue, all forgiving and flattering to those with curves.

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Annandale, Va.: A while ago the Sunday Source published an article that had product names and pictures of the fresh and fashionable Technicolor-like sneakers that were made by shoe companies like Nike and Reebok. I was wondering if you could send me the list of the sneakers that were pictured on the page, if you remember what I'm talking about. Thank you so much!

Suzanne D'Amato: I do remember that story! We'll track it down for you; link to follow shortly.

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washingtonpost.com: Trend Spotter

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Washington, D.C.: I have a pair of red high-heeled mary-janes. If I wore them with a black skirt for winter, should I wear skin-tone hose or black tights? I think I've heard black tights is a good look, but my style is pretty basic (Banana, Ann Taylor), so can I pull off the look? What color top should I wear with that?

Thanks!

Suzanne D'Amato: Black tights would work well here, but I'd suggest looking for a style with a tiny bit of texture -- ribbing or a fine cable knit, perhaps? The combo would still be conservative, but a little less bland than wearing a black skirt with standard black opaques.

As for the top, maybe charcoal, or cream, or a print? An interesting sweater in a nubby knit, or a silk top? Again, I'd mix up the textures to add a little interest.

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Rockville, Md.: My 31-year-old husband is about to start working from home three days a week. He's a lawyer, and is a big Banana Republic fan, generally. I want to buy him some new work-at-home clothes for Christmas, but I'm not sure where to look. Where can I find things that are a step up from sweatpants, but are still comfy and age-appropriate? I want him to be as stylish as the Lucy-wearing mommies when he picks up the kids from day care.

Janet Bennett Kelly: I think your husband can look comfy and chic at the same time. I don't know if Club Monaco is his style, but I like the men's (and women's) clothes there. They're classic with an edge. I love the look of guys in jeans, sweaters and boots myself.

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Tights and shoes: Can you really wear tights with pumps? I really enjoy wearing tights in the winter, but I've limited them to same color ankle boats and loafers that can be worn with skirts, but I would have a lot more options if I could wear them with pumps. What about with ballet flats? Is that weird?

Suzanne D'Amato: Of course you can! Try tights with flats, pumps, wedges -- anything but flip-flops.

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White wedding dress: This person should check out evening gowns from Marchesa. They are gorgeous, not typical wedding-y dresses, but would be lovely to be married in. And they can be found at Neiman Marcus and Saks and probably for way less than a typical bridal gown.

Suzanne D'Amato: Good idea. The designers make a line called Notte by Marchesa that is a fraction of the price of their premium collection. Definitely worth checking out.

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Ohio: As much as we have been told, it is what that is inside you that matters, appearancedoes carry a lot of influence. When one feels good about what they are wearing, theirself esteem rises. The view from the personlooking at us matters very much i.e. "you never get a second chance to make a first impression". My nine-year-old grandaughter recently told me "it does not matter how you look." I thought about her statement andcame to the conclusion as have countless people before me, that it does matter. The beholder arrives at an opinion on firstlook that is very difficult to change as time goes on. Look like a slob and get treated like one.

Janet Bennett Kelly: Thanks for the input, Ohio. What you wear matters, although, thankfully, no one's going to cut off your head if they don't approve. Pity poor Marie Antoinette.

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Suzanne D'Amato: Okay, okay. I now understand what FMP means, so you can all stop defining it for me. Let's keep it clean; this is a G-rated chat, people!

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Arlington, Va.: Shoe question: can any pump be worn with a short dress and black tights? For some reason, I think I look silly in my black leather pumps and dark tights but then patent seems to dressy for work....

Janet Bennett Kelly: Depends on the pump, I'd say, but in general, yes. And on the patent leather, it's not too dressy for work in my book.

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Atlanta, Ga.: For "White dress help" I would recommend going to the Filene's Basement annual bridal gown sale in D.C., which is where I got mine. All dresses are $200, even Caroline Herrera. You have to get there extra early to wait in line. Go with a few friends to help grab dresses, but I think there will be less competition for the simpler wedding gown styles (I saw many such gowns when I did it a few years back). It sounds crazy, but it's actually great fun.

Janet Bennett Kelly: I agree, Atlanta, that sale can be a bonanza. I went several years ago with a colleage, and we found several possibilities. It's not 'til August, though.

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Washington, D.C.: I just bought the greatest dress: slate grey, low cut, short-sleeved, knee length, ruched waist. It will look great with opaque or patterned black tights and heels, but I need help finding accessories that will pull the look together. Any suggestions for me?

Suzanne D'Amato: That does sound like a great dress. Its cut and color sound both feminine and conservative; I'd suggest some chunky, less formal jewelry to offset. Maybe a chain-link necklace, which has been a big trend for the last couple of seasons, with a door-knocker-sized cocktail ring a la Kenneth Jay Lane?

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Ashburn, Va.: I just got my mom to buy jeans from regular Old Navy. We hit their after Thanksgiving sale so she couldn't go wrong with the price (she's on the cheaper side). She got the Sweetheart cut and she is 5'4 and a size 8 so she got them in 'short'. They fit perfect and look fabulous on her. They aren't too tight and aren't too low and she actually likes them. Oh -- and she's 69.

Janet Bennett Kelly: Lucky mom. It's hard to beat the prices of Old Navy jeans, and they do have a large selection. The only thing that bothers me there is it's hard, if not impossible, to get someone to help you. But I guess that's the price you pay for affordable prices.

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Halter maxi dress for a WORK black-tie?: I've been to countless work galas and, as daring as I am off-hours, I can't avoid cringing when I see women show a lot of skin at a work do, however formal it's supposed to be. These (other guests) are the same people you're going to see, come next working Monday. Do you really want them to flash back to your bare shoulders/back/worse? That doesn't seem right. Plus, it looks really desperate whenever I've seen it done. I can see something tasteful/elegant, but not 'dramatic' or 'attention-getting', and that fine line is not something a 'normal' person walks very well.

Janet Bennett Kelly: I see your point about showing a lot of skin. I would just say that what you wear depends on the culture of your workplace, where the party is and your own body. You have to be the judge of what's tasteful and what's bordering on not.

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North Brentwood, Md.: I'm starting to think about New Year's (I'll be dancing the night away at a big nightclub). A month ago, I thought a sequin-covered minidress might be a fun, eye-catching choice. But after a Black Friday trip to the mall, I was dismayed to see that every single shop window had a sequin-covered minidress. What else could I find that would stand out? I'd love suggestions of styles and/or promising shops. Just so you know, the only LBD in my closet was bought for a funeral -- I'm more of a fuschia girl. I'm a tall, busty size 12, so it's hard to find a trendy dress that has ample coverage on top AND hits at the intended places on the waist and hemline. And I'm a struggling nonprofit-er, so price is important.

Thanks so much!

Suzanne D'Amato: Yes, sequinned- and pailette-covered dresses are everywhere, and as such they're beginning to look a bit dull. What about a dress in a rich, saturated color instead -- teal, burgundy, amethyst, chartreuse? A little more surprising than black or red, and a lot more comfortable than sitting on something covered in tiny sparkly bits.

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Rockville, Md.: Re: White Dress -- I felt the same way about scary, expensive bridal shops. I am not a princess, nor do I aspire to be one, so they just made me feel dirty.

However, I went to a consignment dress shop in Gaithersburg and found a new, but discontinued, simple white satin dress that fit like a glove in only about 30 minutes of shopping. There was no sales pressure and the sales lady was adorable and really listened to what I was looking for.

The shop I went to was called I Do I Do.

Suzanne D'Amato: I've heard very good things about this store, though I've never been there. Thanks for the tip!

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Baltimore, Md.: I recently returned from a week-long vacation in France, and the women in Paris (young, middle-aged, and old) are VERY stylish. Lots of skirts and patterned stockings. The women of Normandy, not so stylish. Very stout farm women in sensible shoes.

Janet Bennett Kelly: That's the difference between a capital city and the countryside, though. I don't know how French women in Paris always seem to look so great -- a certain innate sense of style, I guess. I've been in Normandy, but I must admit I've never noticed fashions one way or the other.

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Jeans for mom: Now please tell me how a size 8 woman needs jeans that are forgiving and flattering to her curves?

Also, re sizes -- I recently bought a wool skirt at a vintage clothing store, probably about 30 years old (still had the store tags from Raleigh's, if anyone remembers that dept store!). I am a size 2/4, and this skirt, which is slightly loose but comfortable, is a size 14! Really shows how manufacturers have adjusted the sizing to make us all feel better.

Janet Bennett Kelly: I agree with you about the sizing issue -- ridiculous, and your find proves it.

As for jeans for a size-8 mom, the chatter said her mom was round ...

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Midwest: Headbands -- yes or no? I saw them at the Gap over Thanksgiving and really like how they look, but I'm still not sure if they look dated.

Suzanne D'Amato: I love headbands, but think they work best when you wear them somewhat close to your hairline, with a bit of teasing at the crown for a retro effect. Also try them with clothes that are less conservative; they'd look great with a plunging neckline, for example.

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Appearances Matter: I don't think you have to be a fashion plate every single day. But I think it's important to look neat and put-together. Taking care of your appearance conveys a message that you take care of yourself.

It's also a sign of respect for others -- showing up at a nice restaurant wearing a baseball cap and wrinkly clothes is disrespectful. If you look sloppy, trashy or inappropriate, it sends the wrong sort of message. So why not put in a little extra effort?

Janet Bennett Kelly: It is a matter of self-respect and respect for others, you're absolutely right.

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Wedding dresses: This is going to veer toward the conventional for wedding dresses, but I Do I Do in Rockville may be worth hitting up. They sell consigned dresses, so have a really, really broad mix of options (from Vera Wangs to simple satin sheaths). I found, when looking, that everywhere I looked, all I saw was strapless gowns with ballgown skirts. There was a lot more selection at I Do I Do, and for a fraction of the price.

Also, it's a small place, so they only schedule for two brides at once. So it's a really relaxed atmosphere.

Suzanne D'Amato: Another fan of I Do, I Do chimes in.

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Jeans for the wide-hipped: I'm 24, very thin, tall, and have super-wide hip bones. They jut out a bit. Some think it's sexy -- but when it comes to buying jeans, I find they're either too tight across the hip-bone, or too loose everywhere else. I have a cute butt, and I have muscular but lean thighs -- so the right pair can look really good, if I only knew what brands to look for! Any recommendations?

Suzanne D'Amato:"24, very thin, tall" -- I'm sure most of our chatters wish they had your problems. The trick is to look for jeans with a little stretch, so they'll cling where you want them to. I've heard good things about J Brand in this regard, and they make a much-coveted wide-leg style that you might look into -- that cut is quite trendy this season, and it'll help balance out your hips.

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Pennsylvania: My beloved winter coat is on its last legs. It's a long, black wool with satin cord trim down the front and on the cuffs -- I've always gotten great comments on it. (Burlington Coat Factory strikes again!) But I've had it for more almost 15 years, and the lining is shredded. I looked into getting the lining replaced, but it's less expensive to buy a new coat.

I'd like to get another long, wool coat. Two questions: should I try a color this time? Also, any recommendations on where to shop? I don't want to spend more than $300 (is that even reasonable?). I'll be in D.C. over the holidays.

Thanks muchly!

Janet Bennett Kelly: Sorry about your coat, but 15 years is a good run!!

Colorful coats -- especially red -- are in this season, but be advised that they don't have the same shelf life as a more neutral color and since you like to keep your coats, you're probably better off going with something in navy or taupe or slate or black.

I don't know if coats will be on sale yet, but they might be. Check out the D.C. department stores and Barneys and Cusp.

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Richmond, Va.: Beautiful dresses for brides that aren't too bridal: Waters and Waters. Find them online and try on at bridal shop

Janet Bennett Kelly: Yes, Richmond, I think this is a very nice line!

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Washington, D.C.: I have a Kate Spade red pebble leather purse. I accidentally spilled hair oil on about half of the bag...What type of cleaner would work best to remove this stain, or should I just rub oil on the other half? I went to my neighborhood drycleaner and they don't clean purses of any type...Help! I love this bag!

Suzanne D'Amato: Oily stains can be tough to remove, especially once they've had time to set. But before slathering the rest of your purse in goop, I'd consult with a good dry cleaner such as Parkway Custom Dry Cleaning in Chevy Chase to see if there's any hope. Good luck.

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White dresses: Get a bridesmaid's dress in white -- yes, that means you have to go to a bridal shop, but you can get a Vera Wang bridesmaid's dress in white for $300-400. Or try the Celebrations line from Ann Taylor.

Suzanne D'Amato: Going this route makes a lot of sense for those brides who don't want to be swathed in clouds of tulle -- bridesmaid dresses generally look less princessy, and they tend to be quite a bit less expensive as well.

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Washington, D.C.: I am petite, so I find that the most important thing that I can wear to affect how I feel and how people perceive me is a pair of heels. First, when I put them on, I feel like I can stomp on anything. Plus, I swear my posture is better. Second, it is so important in my line of work to be able to walk into a board room and look all of the gray-haired men in the eye, and I just can't do that from my natural height of 5'2".

Janet Bennett Kelly: Right on, Washington. I'm not particularly petite, but I also feel more confident when I put on a pair of heels. They're definitely more flattering to your legs than flats.

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Jeans For Mom: I like the "Essential Jean" from The Gap. It is a trouser jean with a mid rise and a dark wash and they come in petites! That's if you don't mind spending $70 bucks on jeans! I know they suggested some chi chi stores.. Neiman's etc. ...but go on line and take a look!

Janet Bennett Kelly: There are lots of jean choices online, but with jeans, as with almost all pants, in my opinion, you need to try them on!

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For the wedding dress: How about White House/Black Market?

Suzanne D'Amato: Most of their stuff seems like it would be too casual to me (casual for a bride, I mean), but the palette is certainly on target!

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Washington, D.C.: I am having trouble finding a pencil skirt this year. Every skirt in the stores seems to flare out, which does not look flattering on me. It probably doesn't flatter too many customers actually, considering these stores always show the skirts pinned to the mannequin as though they were slim or pencil skirts. Where should I look for the real slimmed-down versions?

Janet Bennett Kelly: I have seen some pencil skirts that only flare a little in the back; are you objecting to those, too? You may want to check out consignment stores then if you're having trouble finding them in boutiques and dept. stores.

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Suzanne D'Amato: Thanks for joining us today! Janet and I will be back in two weeks. Until then, if you'd like to chat some more about shopping and style, please join my discussion group, TrendSpotter & Co. Link to follow...

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washingtonpost.com: Trend Spotter & Co.

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Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.