Post TV columnist Lisa de Moraes was online Friday, Jan. 4 at 1 p.m. ET to discuss the return of late-night laughs, debate late-night beards, and run down all the oddities from TV in 2007 that keep her up that late at night in the first place.

The transcript follows.

Lisa Watches So You Don't Have To: "Grey's Anatomy" | TV columns | On TV discussion transcripts.

De Moraes has written "The TV Column" for The Post since 1998. She served as the TV editor for the entertainment industry trade publication the "Hollywood Reporter" for almost a decade.

____________________

St. Louis: I have a tremendous amount of respect for Dick Clark, but I just can't watch his New Year's Eve appearances anymore. Watching the man once known for his eternal youthfulness in his current condition just brings out all the depressing elements of the change to a new year. What will it take for Mr. Clark to relinquish this role?

Lisa de Moraes: Hi. I don't think he will do it willingly. On the one hand I agree with you re: the whole eternal youth/depressing thing. On the other hand, I don't want people who've had a stroke to be shut up in their homes so we don't have to look at them. Remember Michael Douglas' speech at the Oscars a few years back? That was inspirational.

_______________________

Washington: Man oh man, them Letterman writers have to be the laziest humans alive. Two months off, the eyes of the nation upon them, and that's the best they could do? They should just have Dave interview kids and call it a day.

washingtonpost.com: The Candidates and the Late Night Returns (Post, Jan. 3)

Lisa de Moraes: First show back:

Letterman: Well, at least the producers haven't hurt anyone physically during the strike.

(Big guy representing producers walks into camera range and faux beats the crap out of someone.)

For this they needed writers? Letterman's show was awful. The top-10 list wasn't clever. He kept cackling at all the bad jokes. They used material that looked like filler you'd use if you were coming back without your writers -- Get to know your staff bit, etc. ... It's as though Letterman wanted to level the playing field, what with him coming back with writers and Jay Leno having to come back with out them. If that was Letterman's goal -- he succeeded.

_______________________

Columbia, Md.:"The Wire" is back! "The Wire" is back! "The Wire" is back!

Lisa de Moraes: Last season. Last Season. Last season...

_______________________

Washington: Lisa, why did the Writer's Guild give Letterman the okay? It seems that if they really were trying to force management to agree to their demands, they wouldn't want any talk shows to go on. And why didn't they give Leno the okay?

Lisa de Moraes: Letterman owns Worldwide Pants which produces his show and Craig Ferguson's. Jay Leno is an employee of NBC which produces his show. Worldwide Pants brokered an "interim" deal with the Writers Guild of America for both shows to get their writers back, though, given that Pants does not control Internet streaming of either show -- CBS does, and CBS is one of the companies the WGA is battling in the strike -- it's unclear what was the big victory the WGA got in this "interim deal"...

_______________________

Hello: Hey! Tyler Perry is going to be on the "Star Trek"! I sure hope this doesn't affect production of Tyler Perry's "House of Pain." That show is on TBS!

Lisa de Moraes: Wow! Me too! That! is! so! exciting! TBS, you say?!

_______________________

Arlandria, Va.: What the deal with "Brotherhood" on Showtime? Showtime made a big thing about the season finale for "Dexter," but "Brotherhood" apparently just wrapped up the season unceremoniously the week before. I think it's a good show.

Lisa de Moraes: It's always about ratings...

_______________________

Reston, Va.: Lisa, could you also watch "Lost" so I don't have to?

Lisa de Moraes: Hey -- what a great idea! I can see it now: six episodes in, my editor finds me sitting at my desk, little flecks of foam about my mouth, muttering "guys, where are we?"

_______________________

Rockville, Md.: Anything to say about "Amazing Race"? I keep watching to see how teams can lose by self-destruction. Few win by doing good. And one team had to get tattooed. How is that for Bruckheimer being up to date? Au courant?

Lisa de Moraes: Trust me, when a CBS show discovers a fad, that fad is very, very over. So, please Pookie, don't go getting tatted just cause you saw it on "Amazing Race."

_______________________

Washington: Don't you mean Kirk Douglas at the Oscars?

Lisa de Moraes: OMG -- of course I mean Kirk! Michael Douglas has never been inspirational!

_______________________

Anonymous: So, I'm dying to know how "Celebrity Apprentice" and "Law & Order" did this past week ... dish!

Lisa de Moraes:"Celebrity Apprentice" copped 11 million viewers which is its biggest audience since the third edition, though among 18-34 year olds it was its smallest opener ever and among 50-plus viewers it was biggest since that third edition. This probably has to do with the "celebrities" who are participating -- Simmons, Henner, Comaneci, etc. Meanwhile "Law & Order" opened with 13.4 million viewers which is an okay number for that franchise

_______________________

Anonymous: I thought it was Kirk Douglas who had the stroke. ... Based on your column today I am skeptical of those numbers for the long term. I guess it's sort of like people want to watch a car wreck. Letterman's and Leno's audiences are very different demographically. Letterman pulls a younger crowd who have a life and don't watch the show everyday or TiVo it for later.

Lisa de Moraes: Where are you getting stats that say Letterman's audience is younger than Leno's? According to recent Nielsen stats: median age of Jay's audience is 51.6 years and the median age of Letterman's audience is 51.2...that's statistically pretty much a wash....But yes, you should be skeptical about the shows' first-night numbers because they won't keep them up. It's like the goose in ratings they all got when they came back after Sept. 11. Nobody expects these kinds of numbers to keep up.

_______________________

Wrong Douglas: You mean Kirk, right? The only thing inspirational about Michael Douglas is his marriage to the lovely Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Lisa de Moraes: I too was wondering how he pulled that off...

_______________________

So what is there to watch?: Help! I notice that my TiVo is bare because there are no new episodes of many favorites. So what about the new shows? "Cashmere Mafia" just looks dumb, and "Lipstick Jungle" looks dumber. I did TiVo "Celebrity Apprentice" (I am deeply ashamed -- praise be for anonymity in posting). But I am kinda out of ideas -- though that lie detector show looks craptastic. Please help! What is a girl to watch?

Lisa de Moraes: "Sarah Connor Chronicles." "Canterbury's Law" starring the wonderful Julianna Margulies. "The Wire." HBO's new "In Treatment" with Gabriel Byrne and Dianne Wiest ... and, of course "American Idol."

_______________________

Atlanta: I don't know if Craig Ferguson is funny or not, but he sure does try real hard.

Lisa de Moraes: Frankly, it was a revelation watching his show. I watched every one of the late night show returns on Wednesday, start to finish, including ads -- I had no idea there were so many men with erectile dysfunction out there, it's a positive epidemic! Anyhooo ... Ferguson really looks like he's having fun doing the show which, turns out, goes a long, long way towards making the show more fun to watch. I thought he and Conan made the best returns...

_______________________

Hartford, Conn.: Hello. The other night I saw an ad for the "Desperate Housewives" upcoming episode. You probably have covered this before, but how do they call it a comedy in award show recognition? There is Felicity Huffman's character with a scarf covering her cancer hair loss waiting to see if her husband and children are alive under the house blown down by a tornado ... lots of things to call it, but comedy? Thanks.

Lisa de Moraes: When shows start to lose ratings, they tend to start doing over-the-top storylines. You know, like "ER" with its weekly explosions and tanks plowing into the hospital and helicopters falling into the hospital and so on and so forth. This happens on one-hour comedies and on half hour comedies too -- remember those very special date rape episodes of aged sitcoms back in the 90's.. Were you born then?...anyway, there were very special episodes of sitcoms about date rape and other such totally non-funny subjects such during the 90's, take my word for it. But yes, I think the whole idea of "comedy" is out of date in trophy shows and it should be best one-hour series and best half -hour series derbies...

_______________________

Alexandria, Va.: Because there are no chats where this question would be exactly relevant, I'll ask you: Who do you think had the worse time last night, Hillary or Britney?

Lisa de Moraes: I'm guessing Hillary because there were no paramedics on hand...

_______________________

Annandale, Va.: I'm so tired of reruns and awful reality shows that I've actually been watching football games. You too? I never thought I'd know the difference between a Jayhawk and a Hokie.

Lisa de Moraes: Hahahahaha, you're kidding, right? No, I'm relearning how to play the piano with my new-found free time...

_______________________

Washington: Lisa, I was sad to see Dick Clark on New Year's Eve. He looks so bad. I think it's wrong to keep him on the TV like this. Any ideas why he's still there? Thanks.

Lisa de Moraes: He's still there because his company produces the show and, because I think there are still people who want to see him either to reminisce or for train-wreck value. ... I missed the whole show this year -- went to bed early to catch crack-of-dawn flight to Los Angeles ... did he look worse than last year or better?

_______________________

Trenton, N.J.: Thank you for clarifying the "interim" deal between Letterman's company and the WGA. I was suspicious when we never got any actual details about what the writers had won from Worldwide Pants that in fact this was a ploy to give a sweetheart arrangement to Letterman and put more pressure on Leno and NBC. Too bad that Letterman blew his chance to move up in the ratings by delivering a thoroughly boring and unfunny show. Now the WGA is trying to step up the pressure by whacking Leno for writing down his own jokes. My formerly strong sympathies for the writers are evaporating fast.

Lisa de Moraes: I really don't get the whole kind-of-pregnant thing for some of these people. Tina Fey on strike on Monday in her capacity as writer on "30 Rock" followed by Tina Fey back at work on Tuesday in her capacity as star of "30 Rock" makes no sense to me. Ditto Leno as a WGA member who can go back to work in his capacity as show host but is then not allowed to do a monologue -- at least he can't jot down anything but it's okay in his head. ... If steel workers go on strike to try to shut down the steel mill, those union members are not allowed to go back to work to in the mill's front office doing clerical work and say "it's okay cause I'm not making steel" -- they're on strike.

_______________________

Washington:"Michael Douglas has never been inspirational!" I have a friend who finds inspiration everyday in his "greed is good" speech!

washingtonpost.com: Scene from "Wall Street" (YouTube)

Lisa de Moraes: You need new friends...

_______________________

Many many thanks:... for the suggestions. So are "Cashmere Mafia" and "Lipstick Jungle" as dumb as they look? And kudos to your producer for making my hastily typed question look positively grammatical.

Lisa de Moraes: "Cashmere Mafia" has the best clothes since "Sex and the City" and yes, I'm happy to say I will watch a show for the clothes...

_______________________

Silver Spring, Md.: Oh he definitely looked better this year. More movement of both arms. His speech, while still slurred, was much clearer. It was much better and didn't bother us in the least.

Lisa de Moraes: I'm delighted to hear that...

_______________________

Washington: Ahh, the desperation episodes. Or the Very Special Episodes. Anybody know if the very special episodes of "Mr. Belvedere" are up on YouTube? They were the funniest ones that ever aired.

Lisa de Moraes: Don't know but will search after chat. They were the best/worst...

_______________________

Re: Comedy vs. Drama: Is "24" a comedy? Because it makes me laugh.

Lisa de Moraes: Me too, especially the "damn it -- we're out of time!" bits. As I've said before, "Big Love" also would be a laugh riot, if only they gave the wives little hatchets...

_______________________

Vienna, Va.: Why do I keep seeing Giada De Laurentiis on the "Today" show? She's even worse than Ann Curry.

Lisa de Moraes: That's just not humanly possible ... seriously? Worse? How so?

_______________________

Anonymous: Very special episodes about date rape on sitcoms? Really? I thought that was a "Beverly Hills, 90210" thing -- which was funny, but not because it was a sitcom!

Lisa de Moraes: It was a sweeps month phenomenon ... you had to be there..

_______________________

Re: Dick Clark: He looked better this year than last. On a side note, I do have to say -- as one of 12 people in the U.S. who do not watch American Idol -- that Ryan Seacrest actually does a great job navigating the touchiness of hosting Dick Clark's show. He really walks the tightrope on paying proper homage to the Dick-ster while steering the show with his own hand.

Lisa de Moraes: Yes, Seacrest has a flair for live TV, which is a dying art...

_______________________

Salt Lake City: The best thing about Craig Ferguson's show is that his monologue is actually a monologue. He comes out and talks about things that are going on, and it's usually humorous, occasionally serious. The last rerun shown was a show from right after he was hired and he tried to tell jokes. It was pretty bad. And, yes, he does appear to be having fun. Even when the skits he does are tanking, he makes them fun, much like Johnny Carson would. (Not that I'm comparing the two...).

Lisa de Moraes: Yes, the revelation was seeing how much he's improved. I confess I had not watched his show in quite a while...

_______________________

Bad hair day: What's with Conan's hair? Every time he moves it shakes all over the place. It looks like a local TV ad for a furniture store, and the guy hawking the ad has the shaking hair syndrome.

Lisa de Moraes: What's up is he needs a haircut. And a shave. What's up with all the strike beards -- they're horrifying. It's bad enough we had to muddle through this strike, but I'm supposed to look at that hairy growth for an hour every night? Letterman looked like the ancient mariner...

_______________________

Giada De Laurentiis: Too many teeth. Same for Miley "Hannah Montana" Cyrus.

Lisa de Moraes: Ah, that makes sense now...

_______________________

Anonymous: Vienna is just being crabby -- Giada De Laurentiis is fab.

Lisa de Moraes: A tooth man, no doubt...

_______________________

Why is Giada on TV?: Because her breasts are mesmerizing and now that she's pregnant they will take over the world.

Lisa de Moraes: Oh, teeth and breasts! Hard to beat that combo...

_______________________

Re: Giada De Laurentiis: She is on the show because her parents were also professional pastry chefs: They knew how to make fantastic eye candy.

Lisa de Moraes: But will she jump off a bridge? That's what I want to know. If she's going to take over as Most Annoying "Today" Show Chick, she needs to be willing to jump off a bridge...

_______________________

Washington: Odds I'm ever going to see the series finale of "Scrubs"?

Lisa de Moraes: If there's a god in heaven -- no...

_______________________

Pittsburgh: Yeah, and a whole lot of good striking did the steel workers...

Lisa de Moraes: Okay, but you're missing my point ... I think ... oh never mind!

_______________________

Fairfax, Va.: As a WGA member, why does Jay get to write his own jokes? And did the WGA give a pass to the other unions (musicians, stage hands) so their members could go back to work with Jay and Conan?

Lisa de Moraes: Okay, now you are just trying to have a rational conversation about this strike and there is no way to do that because next thing you'll be asking why the WGA ripped Carson Daly for going back to work on his NBC late night show but gave Leno and Conan a pass for going back to work on theirs, saying those two men were being forced to go back to work by NBC...

_______________________

Very Special Episodes: The best was "Growing Pains, when Tracey Gold's boyfriend Bobby (was that Matthew Perry?) ends up dying. ... The poor girl finally gets a boyfriend and he dies.

washingtonpost.com: Video: The entire episode! (AOL)

Lisa de Moraes: And yet -- a sitcom! I rest my case...

_______________________

Washington: Since there's been nothing else to watch, I've been watching these DVD's of a Chinese soap opera that my aunt gave me. This reminded me of a question that I've always had: In Asia, most TV series have an actual ending. When you start a series, you know that the story will develop and eventually have an ending -- none of this open-ended stuff that we have here. If the series is successful they might do a sequel. I guess it's only recently that we've even had serials, but is there any chance this could be tried here?

Lisa de Moraes: Your aunt gave you DVDs of a Chinese soap opera? What did you ever do to your aunt? And no, the U.S. TV model is to beat our series for years until they're dead and then pull the plug...

_______________________

Alexandria, Va.: My favorite part of the Dick Clark New Years Eve show was when Clark was reading a cue card tribute to heir-apparent Ryan Seacrest. Midway through, Clark stopped and said "I can't read this stuff any more" and proceed to speak to Ryan like a child. Dick Clark may have slurred speech, but his brain works just fine thank you very much! Leave him alone!

Lisa de Moraes: Now you're making it sound like great TV...

_______________________

Michael Douglas: Pookie, I disagree. After "Basic Instinct," I was inspired to take a shower. Felt so dirty after that movie...

Lisa de Moraes: Okay, I withdraw the statement...

_______________________

Re: Giada De Laurentiis: Her head is exceptionally large. She looks like a lollipop with teeth.

Lisa de Moraes: Isn't that all the rage these days?

_______________________

Rockville, Md.: What is Jon Stewart going to do with half an hour and no writers? Even if he just did the whole thing as an interview, there is some effort that goes into those little blue cards he usually holds -- and there have to be a lot more little blue cards when you are trying to do it for 22 minutes, not five to seven minutes. For books, you could use the suggested questions that the publishers put in the press packets, but they are written by junior publicists -- not all that interesting, and certainly not funny. For what it's worth, I used to write the equivalent of those cards for an interview-based radio show in New York -- mostly authors. It really is a lot of work.

Lisa de Moraes: Allegedly he's going to do the whole thing in his head and not jot down a word...

_______________________

Arlington, Va.: Are you as exited as I am for the second train wreck coming our way, "Rock of Love II"?

Lisa de Moraes: It appears not. I'm out of time. Bye!

_______________________

Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.