washingtonpost.com
Ask Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter
Performing at Sixth and I Historic Synagogue, Feb. 2

Comedians
Friday, January 25, 2008 1:00 PM

Veterans of comedy troupes "The State" and "Stella" and the movie "Wet Hot American Summer," Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter are taking their unique brand of off-center humor on the road together.

The pair was online Friday, Jan. 25 at 1 p.m. ET to talk funny.

The transcript follows.

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Michael Ian Black: Hi everybody. Thanks for joining us today at the fabled Washington Post. Today me and Michael Showalter are going to be answering your questions and bringing down the Nixon Administration.

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Boston, Mass.: Do you believe you two and David will ever do anything else as Stella? (Other than locally in NYC)

Michael Ian Black: Yes. Stella is going to host a show in New York on the 4th at some place to support Barack Obama (he's not going to be there because he does not like toy penises), and we're talking about maybe touring later in the year.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Showalter, where can I order back issues of "The Cat"?

Michael Showalter: Well, I know that we just went into our 27th printing surpassing Stephen King's "Thinner" on the all-time best sellers list.

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Boston, Mass.: This is the internet, but it's also the Washington Post. How restricted are your responses because of this?

Michael Ian Black: They asked us not to be obscene, but who's to decide what obscenity is? I mean, what happened to the First Amendment? Right? RIGHT? We're gonna take this one all the way to the Supreme Court! And then we're going take it to the streets! And then we're going to take it to the mall for a little while and hopefully buy something cute.

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Chicago, Ill.: For Black: I am EXTREMELY EXCITED about your upcoming book "My Custom Van (And 46 Other Mind-Blowing Essays That Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face)" that's due out this summer. What was your process in choosing which essays/blogs to include, since everything you write is so amazing?

Michael Ian Black: It was very easy to choose. Whatever I write I publish. Because that's where the money is.

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Hoboken, Ga.: This is one for Mike Black: Did you skip a grade in school? I think you said you graduated in 1988, and that would make you only 16 years old at graduation.

Michael Ian Black: In fact, I skipped several grades: 4th, 7th, and 9th. But I was held back several grades too: 3rd, 8th, and 11th. You would think they would have stop skipping me after I repeatedly failed other grades, but that's not the way my school worked.

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New York, N.Y.: Mr. Showalter, if you could be any character on Heroes, who would you be and why?

Michael Showalter: If I could be any character on Heroes I'd be the guy who can dance real good. He's not on the show yet.

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Washington, D.C.:"Toothbrush, you've come back to me! And you started a family!"

There are so many great skits and lines you guys collectively gave us with "The State" - I just wanted to say thanks for the laughs. I hope the DVD collection makes it out there soon - any word on that?

Michael Ian Black: The State DVD is finished and sitting in MTV's vaults. When it becomes available is anybody's guess, but I'm hoping we're able to get it out this year. Every place we go people ask us about it and so it would be great to get it in stores just so that people stop asking.

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Anonymous: Is the Showalter Show still going on?

Michael Showalter: It is: my next guest will be Jack Mcbrayer from "30 Rock". After that it's anyone's guest (here's a hint though: Michael Cera and Human Giant.)

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Fort Lauderdale, Fla.: I loved your show Stella. I assumed it had been taken off the air when no new episodes were announced or aired. It's too bad the networks don't let shows have some time to develop an audience anymore. Any chance the two of you can come up with another show? I can tell you right now you'll have an audience of at least one. I promise I won't even TiVo you or mute the commercials so your sponsors can blather at me. But I'll probably become distracted during the advertisements. And I can't promise I'll buy anything from them. That would be unreasonable.

Michael Ian Black: We're working on another show right now, but it's nothing like Stella. It's about two guys who wear tuxedos and live in a townhouse together. They go on crazy adventures and at the end of every episode, they talk about what they learned with a friend of theirs named Gravid.

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Harrisonburg, Va.: Do you guys care about the Patriots? Or even the Giants? If so who are you rooting for?

Michael Showalter: I am rooting for the Gints. That's what we call them here in New Yawk.

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McLean, Va.: The Baxter: Hi guys, "The Baxter" is one of my favorite all-time movies (incredible dialogue, editing, story, acting, and music). Sho, I think I read that you said it was an overwhelming experience to write, direct, and act in a motion picture. Please do it again. Can you let us in on any plans to do something like that again in the near future?

PS - Eventhough I new I couldn't make it to see you and MIB in Baltimore at the Otto, I still bought a ticket online (gotta support the team!)

Michael Showalter: Michael Black and I are actually writing a movie together right now which will explore even more deeply, a la The Baxter, the extreme awkwardness of living. Thanks for the support!

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Silver Spring, Md.: MIB, forgive me if this is a sensitive question, but: I thought you were fantastic as host for the Late Late Show. Did you turn the gig down or did they actually choose Craig Ferguson? Any chance you might get your own show elsewhere?

Also, I miss Levon (sp?) and Barry. Still.

Michael: If you're in touch with Justin Theroux, please tell him his Lafayette (here in D.C.) classmates are very happy for him.

Both of you: I love, love, love, love, love, love "Wet Hot American Summer."

Michael Ian Black: Thanks. Yes, I turned down the "Late, Late Show" job. I decided I didn't want to have my own late night network television show in which I would make millions. I decided I'd rather toil in obscurity on basic cable. I think that was a wise decision on my part.

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Washington, D.C.: May I please say that I love you both very much and would like for you to start having my babies ASAP?

Michael Ian Black: As it happens, I already have two children so I've got a lot of experience in this department and I'm also very good at it. Both of my kids are beautiful, although one of them is evil. If you don't mind evil children, I'll be glad to see what I can do.

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Portland, Ore.: Is it true that you don't like grape soda?

Michael Ian Black: I can only speak for myself. I DO like grape soda. Great question - thanks for asking.

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New York, N.Y.: Dear Michael and Michael,

When did you guys meet, and more importantly, when did you start working together? And, are your personal favorite skits from The State?

Michael Showalter: Michael and I met at NYU our freshman year of college in 1988. Michael was wearing one of those vintage marine army jackets with epilets (sp?) He had a mullet and tons of pizza face (acne).

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Los Angeles, Calif.: What do you consider each other's greatest strengths or weaknesses about each of your character?

Michael Ian Black: Greatest strengths: x-ray vision and monster burps.

Greatest weakness: sometimes I care TOO much.

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Princeton, N.J.: Michael Showalter-

What are your thoughts on this season of Project Runway?

Michael Showalter: This is a great question. My thoughts...

1. I didn't like Victoria's attitude at all. I'm glad she got the boot. And what was that last design? It was literally a jeans jacket with a dress sewn on? WTF?

2. I like Christian a lot and I like his designs a lot.

3. I'm blanking on her name but the woman with the curly black hair is also very good. She has a great sense of style. I liked Sweet Pea's denim dress.

4. Ricky cries WAY too much.

5. Rami has kind of a big pole up his butt.

6. I agree that Kitt went too soon. She seemed really good.

It's a good season. I'm enoying. Also, I'm kinda loving "Make Me A Supermodel."

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Princeton, N.J.: Michael Showalter-

I go to Princeton High School. Have you seen the additions? It's pretty weird. Did you like going here? I bet we had some of the same teachers.

Michael Showalter: Go Lil Tigers!

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New York, N.Y.: Hey, Michael Ian Black: So, like, why'd you friend me on Facebook? I don't even know you, dude.

Michael Ian Black: I've just seen you around and thought you seemed really interesting.

The truth is, my publicist sent out a bunch of Facebook invitations. I don't know why he picked the people he picked. Maybe you belong to a group that he thought dovetailed with a potential interest in me.

But I hope we can be friends in real life, because as I said, you seem really interesting.

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San Francisco, Calif.: It seems to me that we could be in for a major comedic letdown after GW because none of the Democratic Presidential candidates can come close to presenting such fertile moments for mockery. Do you guys agree?

Michael Ian Black: I totally disagree with this. Don't you realize that Barack rhymes with "argyle sock?" Hilarious!!!

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Arlington, Va.: Do the State vets have any rivalries among one another as to who has become more successful? Any pissing contests? Reno 911 vs Stella brawls? Gimme the goods.

(Seriously though, it was a thrill to see all of your cameos in the Reno 911 movie...)

Michael Ian Black: Everybody in the State remains pretty tight. Yes, there are rivalries but they have nothing to do with show biz and everything to do with touch football.

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Omaha, Neb.: Hello Michaels!

You two are comedic heroes for many, including me.

Who are your heroes, professionally and personally?

Michael Showalter: Personal Heroes: Mom & Dad; Ghandi; Trotsky; Churchill; Mellencamp

Professional Heroes: Billy Joel; Wolf Blitzer; Johnny Depp; Hot Babes

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Hollywood, Calif.: Are you guys satisfied with your level of celebrity status? Or do you want to be more famous?

Michael Ian Black: I would like to be more famous. Not because I desire fame for it's own sake, but because I would like to use my fame to help people around the world through my participation in various celebrity poker tournaments.

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Philadelphia, Pa.: Gentlemen, do tell some sexy details concerning The State film you are working on? Will the dvd box set coincide with the film's release? Was it difficult getting the reunion to come together?

Oh yes, and you are also both filthy geniuses.

Michael Showalter: Full frontal nudity.

Tons of oral.

Comedy in a swing.

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Dancing, Md.: Who is the better dancer?

Michael Ian Black: I thought Apollo Ono was excellent.

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Albuquerque, N.Mex.: What music do you listen to? I like Cake.

Michael Showalter: Anything by Sondheim.

Anything by Gershwin.

Anything by John Mayer.

Anything by Stereolab.

Anything by Hoobastank.

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Portland, Ore.: To both you guys, Does it bug you when your hardcore same fans respond to everything you write on your blog over and over? Ian Black's blog on myspace now says he doesn't want people to write to him, he's too busy or whatever, what up?

Michael Ian Black: I didn't say I don't want people to write to me, just that I feel bad when I don't respond to everybody who writes. I'm happy for people to write, but I always feel very guilty when I can't respond to each and every person. So no, I don't get tired when people write to me. I get tired when I don't take my melatonin.

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Flanders, N.J.: Hey guys I was wondering what the fate of Stella is. The TV show is one of my favorites and I loved your shorts and stand-up as well.

Michael Ian Black: Unfortunately Stella the TV show is canceled due to lack of audience. We put it on the air and everybody decided they would rather not watch. As a result, the network decided it probably wouldn't be "profitable" to keep it on the air. Corporate jerks, right?

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Boston, Mass.: I saw "The Ten." I thought it was hilarious! I hope you enjoyed it too.

Michael Ian Black: I also thought "The Ten" was hilarious.

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Danville, Va.: Michael Showalter, a woman brought two cats to the taping of your comedy album, and sat in the front row. As a result, the comedy CD you wanted to call "Sandwiches" has now been renamed "Sandwiches and Cats." You riffed for a good six minutes about the situation, which I think is an example of your comic genius. However, some people have commented that you went over the top. What are your feelings about how you reacted looking back on the situation?

Michael Showalter: Well first of all I agree with you that I'm a comic genius. I've recently discovered that I have diamond and ruby encrusted mind which contribute to my genius. (see www.michaelshowalter.net) As for those who thought I went too far I guess I feel like if anything I didn't go far enough.

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Albuquerque, N.Mex.: This is the most sterile "live chat" ever.

Michael Showalter: Then mix it up KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!!!!!!!!

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Danville, Va.: Michael Black, you related a personal story that can be found on paperthinwalls.com about a rock band you started in high school. You've been one of my favorite comics for a long time, but I was definitely moved and surprised by the candor and emotion you shared in the story. Do you have any plans in the future for more short stories or novels?

Michael Ian Black: If I shared any true candor and/or emotions, I apologize. It won't happen again. Honestly, I don't write that much about my real life because it's not that interesting. It's a lot of sitting in my kitchen surfing the web, which is what I'm doing right now.

About writing a book - I just finished one that's coming out in July. I don't think I'm smart enough to write a novel.

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Fresno, Calif.: Who are some "classic" comedians you guys enjoy?

Michael Showalter: Mort Sahl

Jan Murray

Corbett Monica

Nipsey Russel

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W.C., MO: This is for Black,

What made you decide to write children's books? I'm very excited for those to come out as my kids fail to see the humor in your erotic fiction.

Michael Ian Black: I would just keep reading the kids the erotic fiction - they'll come around.

My first children's book, "Chicken Cheeks" comes out in January. It's about animal butts.

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Princeton, N.J.: Showalter,

I'm friends with someone who's been to your old house before because she used to be friends with your mom. Weird huh?

Michael Showalter: SOOOOOO WEIRD! Wait...not that weird.

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Anonymous: I heard you were gonna play a character in the next Superman what character are you playing?

Michael Ian Black: Showalter is taking over as the new Lois Lane. I'm thrilled for him.

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Princeton, N.J.: Showalter-

Do you think you look like Jack in Lost? I think you do.

Michael Showalter: Usually I'm told that I look like Sawyer but...okay...

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New York, N.Y.: Michael Ian Black- you live far from the city, right? Do you ever think about moving back to the city. Michael Showalter- you still live in the city. Do you ever think about moving somewhere away from the city? Perhaps in Michael Ian Black's town. Do you think he'd mind....

Michael Ian Black: I do live far from the city because, as you can probably guess, I'm an avid outdoorsman. I do a lot of rock climbing, mountain bike riding, goat hunting, teepee erecting, candle dipping, bee keeping, stamp collecting (outdoors), and jerky chewing.

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Chicago, Ill.: For Showalter: What was the genesis of the song "We Had To Do The Show" on your Sandwiches and Cats CD? It's one of the most catchy songs in the history of songs!

Michael Showalter: Great question! Basically, a friend of mine asked me to perform on his show and I didn't really want to but because he's a good friend I felt like I had to. So I wrote a song about it. The lyrics are "We had to do the show, there was no choice in the matter." The missing lyrics are "My friend asked me to do his show and I didn't want to but because he's my friend I felt like..."

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Shaw, Miss.: Michael Black....Have you ever thought about changing your name? If so what would you change it to?

Michael Ian Black: If I ever changed my name, I would probably go with something ethnic - Ravi Shandahar, for example.

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Washington, D.C.: I would just like to make a comment: This discussion is WAY better than the one WaPo hosted with Bret Michaels. That is all.

Michael Ian Black: For the record, it wasn't Brett's fault. He's a very poor typist.

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Bethesda, Md.: What do you think is the longest either of you has been genuine and serious? (the longer answer being the preferred one)

And, as a follow on, have you ever had a serious-off to see who can go longer before being sarcastic and joking?

Michael Showalter: In all honesty, I was serious for five years from 1997 to 2005. Hhahhahah! That's 8 years!

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Cleveland, Ohio: Do you like Dragons?

Michael Ian Black: Personally, I do like dragons. I also like unicorns. Chimeras I am not so crazy about.

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Concord, N.H.: Dear Michael Showalter-

Do you like Fred Thompson? Please elaborate.

Love,

A Fan.

Michael Showalter: I like Fred Thompson in that "this guy is the devil incarnate" sort of way. Too bad no one voted for him.

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Antwerp, Belgium: We have a little comic revolution here in belgium, but the comics S.U.C.K. come over here and teach them a lesson. ps: only in Dutch please.

Michael Ian Black: I'm a huge fan of the burgeoning Belgian comic scene, particularly the jokes about mayonnaise of French fries. Good stuff.

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Naperville, Ill.: This is for Michael Black: You have kids. As a Dad, what are some of the life long lessons you are teaching them, and/or feel are important to stress during child rearing?

Michael Ian Black: I'm trying to teach my children not to cry. That's the big thing. No crying. Because I think we can all agree that crying is, for the most part, for sissies. That said, I'm going to be paying close attention to the Super Bowl this year. If my team loses, I'm going to cry. And I'm going to want my kids to see me crying. Not because I think sports are so important, but because I bet so much money on the game that we'll probably lose the house if my team doesn't win. That's something to cry about.

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Princeton, N.J.: Showalter:

why haven't you helped with Wainy Days?

Michael Showalter: I'm in an upcoming episode. I can't remember the title. but I'm told it's a funny one.

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Los Angeles, Calif.: Will you guys ever come to perform in Los Angeles?

Michael Ian Black: Los Angeles is a surprisingly bad town for us. I don't know why - people in LA don't like us very much. So, no.

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San Francisco, Calif.: I saw showalter at encore in sf last sunday. i was wondering if you had a good time Michael?

Michael Showalter: yes i did. i always have fun in sf.

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Baraboo, Wisc.: Hi!

This is for MIB. Will you share a favorite childhood memory?

Thanks.

Michael Ian Black: There was one time when my brother had surgery on his lip. When he got home, I smashed him in the face with a toy. I got in trouble for that.

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Washington, D.C.: MIB: What was up with your Sonic Youth review in I Love the 90s. They were the best of the best because the guys loved the guitars and the ladies loved the lack of blues influence, and you just go "Take three tablets?" Dude, I've never forgiven you.

Michael Ian Black: Sonic Youth is one of those bands that I know I should like, and want to like, and have tried to like, but I just don't like. Too much noise. Give me 3 Doors Down, you know? Something I can DANCE TO!!!

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Circleville, Ohio: This question is for MIB: You seem to have only a handful of outfits that you wear for performances. Do you do this for "luck" reasons, or do you really only own 7 shirts?

Michael Ian Black: My question back to you is: how do you know this? How many of my shows have you been to? Why are you following me? Did anybody ask Steve Martin, "Hey Steve, how many white suits do you have?" Actually, they probably did ask him that. Am I comparing myself to Steve Martin? Yes I am. Favorably.

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Miami, Fla.: What's a normal day in the life of Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter?

Michael Showalter: Wake up.

Get bathed.

Have paper read out to me while omelette is being prepared.

Get bathed again.

Massage.

Photo shoot.

20 minutes of consolidated meditation.

Blog about my diamond and ruby encrusted mind.

Have sex with concubines.

Watch reality TV.

Chorus rehearsal.

Bed.

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Columbia, S.C.: Stephen Colbert's recent and all-too-brief run for President has me wondering: what political office would each of you guys like to hold?

Michael Ian Black: I'd like to be County Commissioner.

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Washington, D.C.: I miss Kerri Kenney coming down here when she was dating Eli Janney from Girls Against Boys. What do you miss?

Michael Ian Black: I miss Kerri dating Eli too.

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Gaylordsville, Conn.: Both Michaels.. What movie character would you most liked to play?

Michael Ian Black: I just like that you're from Gaylordsville.

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Denver, Colo.: For Showalter: What kind of sandwich did you most recently eat, and did you enjoy it?

Michael Showalter: last night I made a proscuitto on toasted bagette with feta/provolone/pesto. was deliiiccccious!

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Starkville, Miss.: Showalter-

Why'd you stop blogging for so long?

Michael Showalter: lazy.

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Louisville, KY: What is the sexiest piece of clothing either of you two own?

Michael Showalter: black has this amazing pair of buttless chaps he wears before the show to get himself psyched up.

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Not New Jersey: A lot of questions out of Princeton N.J. Show, is that your mom?

Michael Showalter: nope. my folks actually live in DC now.

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Anonymous: What did you eat today?

Michael Ian Black: I eat the same thing every day.

Breakfast: two eggs, sunny side up, rye toast, OJ, oatmeal, applesauce, multi-vitamin, cooter, and a small bowl of granola

Lunch: ham sandwich on rye (not toasted), whole milk, turkey bacon, a cup of cooked asparagus, more cooter, garden salad

Dinner: steak au poivre, rye bread, (half-toasted, half not), a glass of honey, mackerel, some more cooter, and a bowl of chocolate fudge ripple ice cream.

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Omaha, Neb.: Hi there, Michael and Michael!

I read somewhere that Michael Showalter was a professor at NYU. I was just wondering how that went and if you would ever pursue teaching as a full time job in the future?

Michael Showalter: It was great. I'll be teaching there again in the Spring. I love teaching. I have so much to offer my students. It's great to finally give back all of the incredible wisdom that I have to give. I'm really great.

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Baltimore, Md.: Please complete:

Movies:Citizen Kane :: Road food:____

Michael Showalter: mozzarella sticks.

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Harrisonburg, Va.: Why have you guys not come to James Madison University?

Michael Showalter: Well first of all you're kind of stating the obvious. Everyone's been clamoring about it. It's all red-tape.

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Shaw, Miss.: If you could be someone else at this moment who would you be?

Michael Ian Black: Probably Mark Antony, just because I love his moves and his style and his wonderful wife, the incomparable Jennifer Lopez!

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Pretty please?: Guys- my best friend loves The State. I mean, in a slightly uncomfortable, gee-why-aren't-you-wearing-pants kind of way. If I gave you his phone number, would you call him and leave him a funny message on his voicemail? This would make his year, and I could then get him to do lots of stuff for me in the future. Which would be awesome. Really, really awesome.

Michael Ian Black: No.

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New York City, North Dakota: Which role of Clint Eastwood's most describes either of you?

Michael Showalter: Davey Squadge.

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Anonymous: What was your favorite city that you performed in and why?

Michael Ian Black: So many cities have been great, although the greatest was probably Pompeii right before the fall...

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Harrisburg, Pa.: Both Michaels: what do you find funniest about the other Michael?

Michael Showalter: The funniest thing about Michael Black is his stanky BO. It's funny in a "OMG I can't believe your BO is that stanky" kinda way.

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Baltimore, Md.: For Michael Ian Black: Why do you always pop up as a talking head/commenter on those disposable VH1 shows about The Best Apocalpyse Ever and such like topics? Is it for money? Thank you.

Michael Ian Black: Yes, I do it for the money.

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Shaw, Miss.: Both Michaels,

Are you wearing boxers or briefs today?

Michael Showalter: I'm wearing briefs. News briefs. It's weird. You can get them from CNN. They don't fit at all but they're very informative.

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Officelandia: I'm reading this from my office job. You guys ever had an office job? If yes, how'd you do it?

Michael Ian Black: I as the Director for South Asian Refugee Relief at the UN. It was the WORST!!! Nothing but sob story after sob story after sob story. Did I save thousands of lives? Sure I did. But I think I'm doing more for humanity by telling d*** jokes on TV.

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Denison, Iowa: Both Michaels,

Do you have favorite cartoons? I imagine you enjoy the old Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry, Huckleberryhound and such.

Michael Showalter: I like New Yorker cartoons because they compliment my intelligence and make me feel like I'm reading the articles too even though I'm not.

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Sho looks like Sean Penn!: Only mucho cuter.

Michael Ian Black: I resent that Showalter is always labeled as "cute." Yes, he's attractive, but he's got a snaggle tooth and I'm also very handsome. And dangerous. And edgy?

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Albuquerque, N.M.: Does it help to be a people person when in the job of entertainment? I love laughing and making others laugh, but most people are weird. How do you deal with the most uncomfortable situations, such as when people come up to you and enthusiastically tell you your own joke or punch line (if that happens)?

Michael Showalter: I shut down and make them feel very awkward. It's not my best trait.

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Pretend I'm from Shaw, Miss: Best book you ever read...?

Michael Showalter:"Everybody Poops" (author?) "Remembrance of Things Past" (Proust) It's a toss up.

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Climax, N.C.: Michael Black....Your blogs on typepad are killer. What's going on with the Rainbow Machine? I think you should lend it to Hillary.

Michael Ian Black: My Rainbow Machine is currently in the shop (again!) I don't know what it is, whether the technology isn't all the way there or what, but I find that these new rainbow machines are really prone to breaking down, and it's driving me CRAZY!!! I can not work unless I am bathed in rainbows.

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Dayton, Ohio: What's the worst thing you've ever done to another person?

Michael Ian Black: Does date rape count?

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Williamsburg, Va.: Showalter, are you the kid from the Mac commercials?

Michael Showalter: Yes. Except no.

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Des Moines, Iowa: Don't knock yourself, MIB. You're extrememly intelligent. Both of youse!

Michael Showalter: Michael is intelligent. I can attest to that. He's always pontificating about stuff. (He taught me about the word "pontificating.")

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Newark, Del.: Michael Ian Black and/or Michael Showalter, how has the writers' strike impacted your work schedule for 2008? I know you said just one (?), but would either of you like to do a show at the University of Delaware this spring? Love Stella!

Michael Ian Black: First of all, we would be happy to do a show at the University of Delaware. You should set that up.

As far as the writer's strike goes, it's been tough for everybody. Think about the staff of "Two and a Half Men," for example who have probably been stockpiling things for John Cryer to say. I feel bad for those guys.

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Boston, Mass.: I am a 19yr old freshman girl at BU and I have a question. If a guy goes out with you, buys you dinner, gets you flowers, takes you to an artsy movie do you think I owe him something afterwards?

Michael Ian Black: Great question. No, you don't owe anybody anything except for cash. I would write him a check at the end of the evening for the cost of the night. If he refuses to take it, donate it to an animal shelter.

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Bluecollarmiddleclasssuburbia: What shows do you guys have Tivo'd?

Michael Ian Black: I Tivo anything starring the great Diana Ross!

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Starkville, Miss.: What's your favorite animal?

Michael Ian Black: I think I covered this already, but unicorns.

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Los Angeles, Calif.: Any new projects you will talk about?

Michael Showalter: I don't know about new projects but I'd like to respond about Black's assertion that I have a snaggle tooth. I do have a snaggle but Black has stanky BO.

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Brooklyn, where else?: How do you two Michaels feel you have impacted US comedy? Do you think you have had more influence than Celine Dion?

Michael Ian Black: I think we've shown that comedy doesn't have to be "funny" or "good."

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Folsom Prison: How come you guys haven't come here to perform? I'd come to see you, but, well, I can't for awhile.

Michael Showalter: I would love to perform at Folsom Prison. I anticipate that Michael and I would be very very well recieved by that audience.

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Redding, Conn.: Michaels! Any travel overseas recently? Any favorite destinations? I'm planning a trip for the summer and haven't decided where to go yet...

Michael Ian Black: I suggest Ohio. They've got some wonderful malls and terrific TGIF's.

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Cambridge, Mass.: Didn't Proust also write "Everybody Poops?"

Michael Showalter: No, Proust wrote, "Everybody Prousts."

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Blackville, Ky.: MIB: When you write your blogs, are you doing them stream of consciousness or do you have a stockpile of them already written from the past?

Michael Ian Black: I actually spend a lot of time working on them because I am unemployed.

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Atlanta, Ga.: What is one thing either of you want to fulfill in your careers before they are over?

Michael Ian Black: I'd like to kick a celebrity's a**. I don't care who.

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New York, N.Y.: I have to say, I LOVE the Michael Showalter Showalter on College Humor. I hope more episodes are coming down the pipe.

Michael Ian Black: It's the best Internet show. People should check it out.

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Madison, Wisc.: Both of you have interesting lives, careers, childhoods. Have either of you considered writing an autobiography?

Michael Showalter: I am currently writing an autobiography. It's called, "Michael Showalter's Autobiography of Famed CIA Turncoat Aldrich Ames." He had nothing to do with it.

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braceface, mo: Sho,

No one notices your snaggletooth and if it bugs you, it's never too late to get braces.

Michael Showalter: Well, it's really not a snaggletooth. Its a gap.

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Toad Suck, Ark.: Both Michaels...

When did yo realize you were funny? Do you have any tips for females trying to break into the biz?

Michael Showalter: Tell lots of jokes about the differences between men and women. People love that.

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Michael Ian Black: I just want to thank everybody for their questions and for checking out our live chat today. I had a great time and I hope you did too.

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Brooklyn, N.Y.: What is your favorite breakfast cereal?

Michael Showalter: Muselix.

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Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.

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