When stars shave their heads, couch-jump, spend countless minutes in jail, commit a fashion faux pas and/or other random acts of ego-inspired inanity, washingtonpost.com Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly is on the job. Every weekday, Liz shares the buzz, offers perspective and provides crucial links to juicy alternate news sources and, of course, takes your reaction in her daily blog.

Join Liz LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

In her pre-celeb obsessed days (as if!), Liz ran washingtonpost.com's Discussions section, where she enjoyed talking to really interesting people -- sometimes even Post reporters -- on the phone. She still produces Gene Weingarten's Chatological Humor.

Celebritology Live Archive

--------

Liz Kelly: Afternoon one and all. Permit me to talk about "Lost" long enough to mention that voting is now open in round two of "Lost" Madness. So, vote early and often. For those of you who have been wondering whene Michael (Harold Perrineau) will finally resurface, I'd say make sure to watch the last 10 minutes of tonight's episode. We'll talk about it here tomorrow.

Brangelina is contemplating a move to France, Russell Crowe walks among us and one of Britney's tats has mysteriously disappeared.

Let's talk...

_______________________

Arlington, Va.: Did anyone happen to catch Lara Flynn Boyle on Law and Order last night? She looked horrible! Face all puffy, and lips with that asymmetrical swollen look like someone had just punched her in the mouth. If I were her I'd be suing the plastic surgeon. Although there seem to be so many women with asymmetrical punched-in-the-mouth lips, maybe that's considered attractive in Hollywood?

Liz Kelly: "Asymmetrical punched-in-the-mouth lips." Fisticuff chic. Nice.

I did not watch the show, but thanks to your question and the nimble fingers of post.com producer (and Date Lines columnist) Paul Williams, I have just watched the offending footage. Here's the link. (The Lara bit starts at minute 2:20)

She's definitely got some serious trout lips going. And as any self-respecting "Twin Peaks" or "Practice" watcher knows, Lara has always been the thin-lipped type. They matched her former emaciated frame.

Are the lips a product of returning to a normal weight? I dunno... she also seems, well, jowly. She's got some serious jaw line going there. I'm wondering if she's perhaps gained weight, in a little jectedRestalyn or collagen or possibly taking steroids for some condition to which we're not yet privy. Cuz she's kind of starting to resemble a post-kidney transplant Steven Cojocaru.

Rocci the producer says she's still hot. Agreed. But she no longer looks like Lara Flynn Boyle. What would Agent Cooper say?

Though she was romantically linked to Jack Nicholson on and off for years, LFB married the mysterious Donald Ray Thomas in December.

_______________________

Who should star in the movie: This started yesterday on another online chat on this site so please forgive me. Now that photos are out of former Gov. Spitzer's "date," don't you think Adrian what's-her-name (married to Peter Brady) should play her? They are dead ringers for one another.

Liz Kelly: I'm thinking Jamie Lynn Sigler (Meadow Soprano).

Here's a pic of Spitzer's gal pal. How much is he hating MySpace right now?

_______________________

One of Britney's tats has mysteriously disappeared.: Gosh, when I first read that I thought it said "t-ts." I'm glad it was just a tat she lost.

Liz Kelly: Yes, the other would be a bit more obvious. Talk about asymmetrical.

_______________________

Way Down South: Dear Liz,

When the weather gets warm, what crazy, pagan springtime celeb trend and/or scandal do you see coming? Triplets for Angie? Sex change for Katie Holmes? Thanks!

Liz Kelly: Honey, every day is spring in Hollywood.

I would say the newest accessory is a Madden brother -- since Paris is now allegedly dating Benji and Nicole Richie is now kid-tied to Joel for life -- but, alas, there are only two of them.

Actually, according to Wikipedia, there are three -- but older brother Josh doesn't count. He's not a twin.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: I thought Brangelina enrolled Maddox at a French speaking school in NYC. Is he now being homeschooled as he travels around the world?

Liz Kelly: You're right -- he's enrolled at Manhattan's Lycee Francaise. But one would guess Brangie must have made other arrangements to keep his education moving ahead while they're busy jetting around the world.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Hi Liz,

I guess Spitzer qualifies as a celebrity now? What a creep, and if he hadn't been caught I wonder when he would've decided to "devote" himself to his wife and family? I feel sorry for his kids, their view of men (and him) will be irrevocably changed. And, of course, he doesn't like condoms, so I pray that nothing bad happens to his wife as a result of his compounded stupidity. He is a sad and disgusting person.

Liz Kelly: Please. He's a celebrity in the same way Sen. Larry "Wide Stance" Craig is a celebrity. Though -- come to think of it, maybe Spitzer, Craig and former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey could band together to form some kind of self-loathing supergroup.

_______________________

Methinks: I watched L and O last night and thought LFB looked dreadful. But that new detective is a cutie.

What is this talk of Russell Crowe walking among you? Do I need to take advantage of AirTran's 48-hour sale and high tail it up to Washington, D.C.?

Details, I require details...

Liz Kelly: That'd be Jeremy Sisto, who played Holly Hunter's deadbeat boyfriend in "Thirteen." He also played the annoying, self-absorbed Elton in 1995's "Clueless."

_______________________

Anonymous: One of the "Reliable Sources" (not sure which one) suggested Matt Damon with a dye job could play Eliot Spitzer. Once I read that, I couldn't see pics of Spitzer without thinking of Matt Damon. She was absolutely right.

The long-suffering Silda should be played by either Rita Wilson or Jennifer Aniston (aged, of course) and Kristin (aka: South Jersey lounge singer should be played by Jamie Sigler). Glad we have that out of the way. Now for a script...

Liz Kelly: I saw someone in Marc Fisher's chat earlier suggest that he bears a striking resemblance to Spitz. I think he might actually come closer than Damon.

_______________________

Arlington, Va.: There seems to be a rise in the number of court cases or incidents involving celeb stalkers recently. Is this because celebs have been living their lives more and more in the public, or is it because people are actually getting prosecuted for it and celebs are testifying at their trials.

Liz Kelly: I don't know that we're seeing an increase so much as coincidental timing. The woman arrested at Michael Jackson's Neverland yesterday has been pestering him for years, as has Jodie Foster's stalker (the one not already committed) and the childhood friend who has been harassing Samantha Morton. It takes time to build these cases and get them to the point of arrests, let alone court.

_______________________

Mayfairgate: I like Billy Bob Thornton as Spitzer. I know there's no physical resemblance, but I bet could rock it. Vincent D'Onofrio too.

Liz Kelly: I wonder if Spitz likes french fried potatoes.

_______________________

Seattle, Wash.: Well, we've had recent filming of some movies here in Seattle, and among those showing up at Pike Place Market is Jennifer Aniston -- any idea of when she'll change her hairstyle again?

Liz Kelly: What's to change? She's got classic long hair. I don't think you'll see her shifting away from it any time soon. I'm more interested in finding out when she'll grow a personality and stop trying to be a movie star.

Did I say that?

_______________________

Brangelina is one thing: but Brangie, must you really? I think we must find a way to stop these horrible nickname trends.

And I'm with methinks, what is this buzz about a certain hot actor walking amongst us.

Liz Kelly: Russell Crowe is in town filming "State of Play."

And I love the nicknames. So much easier than having to type Brad and Angie. Why, it saves seven whole keystrokes.

_______________________

Ripple Valley, Wash.: Don't Mary Kate and Ashley have their own clothing company? Why would they target your castoffs?

Liz Kelly: To torment me. And I'm not sure Ashley is involved in this particular plot. But it's clear from the outfit I wrote about in today's main post that Mary-Kate is coming after me. With both barrels loaded for bear.

_______________________

Liz Kelly: Also, the bulk of their clothing lines target pre-teens big box shoppers. MK and Ashley only wear couture.

_______________________

Looks like we've all got questions for Jennifer Aniston: Mine is, when are you going to quit smoking? I hate finding out these beautiful young women are smokers. It makes me sad for them.

Liz Kelly: Add Mary-Kate to that list. Yet another way in which she taunts me. She knows I quit two years ago.

_______________________

Richmond, Va.: I believe Jeremy Sisto also played the horrible husband of Keri Russel in "Waitress" (fabulous movie, BTW) and the tragic murder of the writer/actress/director of "Waitress" was also a ripped-from-the-headlines script for L and O.

It's all connected, man.

Liz Kelly: Right. Indeed it is.

_______________________

Arlington, Va.: Okay I'll bite, who is Samantha Morton?

Liz Kelly: British actress who you may remember from "In America" or "Jesus's Son."

No?

_______________________

Pop Fiction: I thought Jeremy Sisto was a great, jerky character in the Waitress. Was it wrong that I liked him anyways?

What are your thoughts on the new E! show punking the paparazzi?

Liz Kelly: I'm glad you asked. This is the Ashton Kutcher-produced "Pop Fiction." Rumor has it that pix of Paris Hilton out and about in L.A. with a "guru" were manufactured for the show. The premise is that Ashton -- instead of punking celebs -- is now using celebs to punk the tabloids.

I think it actually has some potential. It will be interesting to find out which of the stories we've seen in the past little while will end up as fabrications for the show. Cuz, really, almost all of the stories that make up the Morning Mix are unbelievable.

_______________________

Sam Morton: She also played a "pre-cog" in that Tom Cruise movie in which he overacted.

Liz Kelly: Ahhh, I never saw that movie in which he overacted, but I have seen many others.

_______________________

Universal Studios has several trucks...: on Constitution Ave. between 12th and 14th St. today. Also a number of other parked trucks. They were setting out lunch when I walked by. Any idea what movie is being filmed? There were some huge lights in the plaza of the Reagan Building.

Liz Kelly: You've spotted the "State of Play" kerfuffle busy at work. No Russell sightings?

I saw "State of Play" in its original form as a BBC mini-series and just loved it. I'm a little worried that a remake may not live up to the high standards of the original. Even with Russell. He did make that stinky year in France movie, after all.

_______________________

Brangie: "So much easier than having to type Brad and Angie. Why, it saves seven whole keystrokes."

And more importantly, saves an extra push on the Shift key with your left pinky -- a lot of work for the smallest digit.

Liz Kelly: Right. I don't want to make myself susceptible to some kind of repetitive stress injury.

_______________________

It will be interesting to find out which of the stories we've seen in the past little while will end up as fabrications for the show: I'm guessing Spitzer won't be one of them?

Liz Kelly: Are you a detective by trade or is this just a hobby?

_______________________

Samantha Morton: First became famous in "Breaking The Waves," and was also the being that generated the minority report in "Minority Report"? Or am I thinking of another British actress? Wasn't she also Mary, Queen of Scotts in this summer's horrible "Elizabeth" sequel? If all of these things are true than I am a walking one-woman IMDb.

Liz Kelly: No, Samantha Morton wasn't in "Breaking the Waves." That was Emily Mortimer -- another incredible British actress. I guess that means you're not a walking one-woman IMDb. Sorry.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Didn't Jeremy Sisto play Rachel Griffiths psycho brother on Six Feet Under?

Liz Kelly: Yep.

_______________________

Wills: Didn't Heath Ledger have an attorney or business manager who strongly suggested that he update his will to provide for wee Matilda?

Liz Kelly: Now there's a good question. I just can't imagine that the conversation never happened between Heath and Michelle, Heath and his parents, Heath and his lawyer/financial manager. Who has a kid and doesn't immediately line things up in the event the worst happens? I'm sure Matilda Rose will be well taken care of, but it kind of puts her at the mercy of Heath's family in Australia.

_______________________

Fashion Ave., N.Y.: Was there a reason Madonna wore an old house dress when she got inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame -- it may only be Cleveland but still.

Liz Kelly: That wasn't an old house dress, it was an old slip. Unfortunately, I don't have a link handy. But it was utterly see through. Between Madonna's lower half and Iggy Pop's bare chest, well, I'd had enough.

Also, anyone else find it odd that husband Guy Ritchie did not join Madge for this event? It strikes me as akin to her not showing up if he were to be nominated for (and win) and Academy Award.

_______________________

Law and Order: Jeremy Sisto's character adopted a pit bull at the end of the episode last night. Very quiet activism, but friend of mine active in Bad Rap (a pit rescue group) was thrilled.

Liz Kelly: I like that. I have friends with pit bulls and they are some of the sweetest dogs I know.

_______________________

Jeremy Sisto: was also on that NBC miniseries "The 60's." Don't know why I remember that. I don't think I watched more than 5 minutes of it.

Liz Kelly: Five minutes? That's like five days for someone like Kanye West.

_______________________

Millionaire Matchmaker: So now that MM has ended its run are you now watching the Real Housewives of N.Y.? I tried to watch and well, it is just too painful. The "housewives" are even worse than their OC counterparts. (For the record, I have terrible insomnia so I end up watching a lot of bad TV in the middle of the night.)

Liz Kelly: I watched the first episode of the New York spin-off version and, lordy, these women are just -- well, there's no excuse for them. They are vain, petty, over-Botoxed and over-tanned and (for the most part) utterly lacking in critical thinking skills.

I was utterly disgusted by the one who was sending her 14-year-old daughter to a detox center for 21 days to treat her arthritis, but also hopefully lose 21 pounds.

_______________________

Columbia, S.C.: Samantha Morton was terrific in "Control," the bio-pic about the short tragic life of Ian Curtis of Joy Division.

Liz Kelly: Thanks Columbia. That's right -- I haven't seen it yet, but it is on my list.

_______________________

Playing Spitzer...: Not Marc Fisher. He's cuter than Spitzer, even if he (MF) hates dogs and cats and probably guinea pigs too.

Liz Kelly: Okay, I'm just sending this through to get on record the fact that someone out there is crushing on Marc Fisher.

_______________________

Burke, Va.: What's your over/under for how long it takes to get the first made-for-TV movie out on Spitzergate, and which network is first?

I'm betting 90 days/Lifetime network.

Liz Kelly: I'll see your 90 days and raise you a 60 days and Oxygen Network.

_______________________

Arlington, Va.: It was Emily Watson in Breaking the Waves, not Emily Mortimer.

Liz Kelly: Watson. Thank you. Emily Mortimer is yet another Pixie-ish actress from "Lars and the Real Girl" and (unfortunately) "The Pink Panther."

_______________________

22201: Liz,

A couple of personal questions:

How is the RLS reading coming along? You said last week you were reading "Kidnapped" which is one of my all time faves. Do not neglect his wonderful short stories, many set in the South Seas, and of course 'Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.'

And how about Krav Maga? Still at it?

Liz Kelly: I had to abandon "Kidnapped" in the Scottish highlands. Much of it was written in dialect and it just didn't have the forward motion of "Treasure Island." I do intend to give RLS another chance, though -- next up: "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde."

I've also abandoned Krav for the time being. Too much aggression and life is so short.

_______________________

Tampa, Fla.: You might be interested (or perhaps not) to learn that Billy Crystal's baseball career both began and ended today. He was the designated hitter in today's game vs. the Pittsburgh Pirates. He made contact, hitting a ball foul down the first base line before striking out.

So ends the sad saga of Billy Crystal, Yankee.

Liz Kelly: If only the same could be said of Billy Crystal, actor and comedian.

Oh wait...

_______________________

It ain't difficult to be cuter than Spitzer.: He looks like Nosferatu.

Liz Kelly: Awww, now that's just mean.

_______________________

Watson. Thank you.: Is being a Celebritologist your profession or just a hobby?

Liz Kelly: Dang. Someone take their cranky pill this morning?

_______________________

Minority Report fan: Hey! I liked Cruise in Minority Report. He even had flat front pants on!

Liz Kelly: I'm sorry, but even flat front pants do not mitigate Tom Cruise's utter awkwardness.

_______________________

Tampa, Fla.: "anyone else find it odd that husband Guy Ritchie did not join Madge for this event?"

Well, the story is that he is filming a movie in England and couldn't attend, but did call her before the ceremony to wish her well. Yeah, sure.

Years ago, I remember a similar situation when Emma Thompson and Kenneth Brannagh were married, she won the Oscar for Howard's End and he was back in England filming a movie. Notice that I said WERE married.

Liz Kelly: Right. Exactly

_______________________

Shakes, Va.: So how often does Mr. Liz get a boyzilian?

Liz Kelly: Nice try.

_______________________

Speaking of pet adoptions: How's the new cat doing?

Liz Kelly: Andy the cat is doing really well. He's settled into a routine here, which mainly involves eating, sleeping and chasing his tail.

He is also engaged in what I can only describe as "training" me. He likes to sleep on my keyboard. While I'm using the computer. If I try to move him, he corrects me with a little bite. So far, I'm still resistant to his will. Not sure how long I can hold out, tho.

_______________________

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: Yay! I am reading this right now. Part of my effort to read sci-fi classics. Loved Frankenstein, and am thoroughly enjoying Jekyll and Hyde.

Liz Kelly: Oh good -- glad to hear that. I loved Shelley's "Frankenstein," too. Don't leave out Bram Stoker's "Dracula." Very good stuff.

_______________________

Anonymous: If Madonna and Guy Ritchie break up I don't think I'll ever believe in true love again. Ever.

Liz Kelly: That's your bellwether? Madonna and Guy Ritchie?

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Liz,

What does it say that when I read the question about Robert Louis Stevenson, I thought someone was asking about your Restless Leg Syndrome?

Also, Spitzer looks like The Brain (aka Pinky's sidekick).

Liz Kelly: Me too. The minute I see RLS I think someone is asking me about my legs.

And I don't think anyone is calling Spitz "The Brain" right now.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: I think Tilda Swinton should play Silda Spitzer since their names are so close together. Maybe Silda can give Tilda some clothing tips.

Liz Kelly: And there's such a close resemblance...

_______________________

Ach no Lassie!: Oor wued tha' bay Lizzie? Ye've got to gie the lads a chance. Alan Breck Stewart wued ne'er let a Lady doon.

Liz Kelly: Please, lock up your bairn and fall down the nearest Brae with your Alan Breck Stewart and his big ego. Fie!

_______________________

Problemsolver: Let Andy sleep on a 'dummy keyboard' that isn't plugged into the computer and you can use a wireless keyboard.

Liz Kelly: Some would argue that mine is a "dummy" keyboard.

_______________________

Methinks: Forget Lifetime and Oxygen! In some way, shape or form that Spitzer story is headed straight to the Law and Order franchise.

Liz Kelly: Good point, Methinks. And that'll probably happen before the season ends.

_______________________

Anything else?: I'm so sick of talking about Spitzer. Is anything else going on in Celebrity-ville? Has Lohan been caught boozing it up again? Any new nocturnal tapes with Paris? Any sightings of Jake Gyllenhaal with his boyfriend?

Liz Kelly: Why surely you meant to type "girlfriend." (Wink.)

My favorite story from today's Mix was Diddy's plan to launch a car service for drunk celebrities. It actually made me like him a teensy bit.

_______________________

Patrick Swayze: Do you think that photo of him smoking is real? Could it be doctored? I was surprised to see it -- I suppose I assumed he wasn't a smoker.

I'd think the prognosis is even worse if he is still smoking.

Liz Kelly: I think Swayze's been a life-long smoker. Don't quote me on that, but I always remember that being at odds with his image as an in-shape dancer. I don't know if they're real or not. But if they are I'm not going to give him grief. He's going through enough as it is and if a cigarette helps him get through the day, then so be it. Not what I would choose (I quit two years ago), but we are ultimately accountable only to ourselves.

_______________________

Let Andy sleep on a 'dummy keyboard' that isn't plugged into the computer and you can use a wireless keyboard.: No, this won't work. Cats are only interested in the keyboard the human is paying attention to.

Liz Kelly: Right. He wants it because it is directly between me and the monitor -- and I'm working on a laptop.

_______________________

Collette: French writer Collette is reported to have said no page is worth writing if a cat won't sleep on it. Now that we're computized, Andy has to adjust. Give him a break. He's telling you he likes your work.

Liz Kelly: I like that. This is a nice place to wrap up this week's show. See you back here next week and, for those of the "Lost" persuasion, see you tomorrow at 2 p.m. ET.

_______________________