Reality, Non-Reality and Everything In-Between
Lisa de Moraes
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, April 11, 2008
1:00 PM
Post TV columnist Lisa de Moraes was online Friday, April 11 at 1 p.m. ET to reveal the Secretest Talent of the Stars -- getting canceled after just one episode! -- wonder when "Idol" got so much less of a return on "Idol Gives Back," introduce HBO's new head of entertainment and welcome back NBC's prime time Thursday lineup.
The transcript follows.
De Moraes has written "The TV Column" for The Post since 1998. She served as the TV editor for the entertainment industry trade publication the "Hollywood Reporter" for almost a decade.
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Chattanooga, Tenn.: Is Soy Joy a real product or a made-up product? With "30 Rock" it's sorta hard to tell.
washingtonpost.com: SOYJOY
Lisa de Moraes: There's no such thing as a made-up product on "30 Rock." All paid-for plugs. I think it may be the most concentrated half-hour of product plugging in the entire TV landscape, and that includes daytime game shows. That said, last night's "MILF Island" episode was hilarious. And I don't mind most of the show's product placement -- just wish that in return for putting up with it, we didn't then have to also sit through so many, um, commercials. Seems only fair...
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"Eli Stone": So what are the chances of this lovely show coming back? "Eli" has a great cast -- Johnny Lee Miller is great as Eli. It will be a lost for a show that has so much going for it.
Lisa de Moraes: Numbers weren't great but I don't think it's a lost cause.
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Re: Act Like David Caruso Day! : Where are we in the planning of this? I think you need to get Pulitzer boys Weingarten and Dave Barry involved in this.
Lisa de Moraes: I lost track. Maybe next season's debut? Maybe this season's finale? Meanwhile, if CBS does hire Ann Curry to replace Katie Couric -- I too spit my coffee when I read that being seriously suggested in Howard Kurtz's story in The Washington Post -- we can add an Act Like Ann Curry Day to our repertoire...
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Vandy: Has "American Idol" disowned Taylor Hicks? You never see his picture, hear any mention of him or see him return to the show. Are they trying to forget what a mistake that whole season was?
Lisa de Moraes: It certainly would appear so. How odd that the only Idol to appear on Wednesday's "Idol Gives Back" was Carrie Underwood who is arguably the most successful these days. Even last year's winner Jordin Sparks got bumped to Idol Gives Back Flotsam & Jetsam Night...
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Washington: Ann Curry as newsreader for the "CBS Evening News" (mentioned in The Post's article today)? What am I missing? She is horrible on "Today" and on "Dateline" -- stumbling over her words, repeating herself, etc. She has a strong hint of desperation about her. I can't understand why she is still employed by "Today," let alone why she would be in demand.
washingtonpost.com: Tough Question For CBS: Who'll Follow Couric? (Post, April 11)
Lisa de Moraes: Given that CBS chief Leslie Moonves has now blown through "Today's" Bryant Gumbel and Katie Couric, it seems unlikely he'd give the show's third-stringer a whirl...
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"Project Runway" move: Hi Pookie. Okay, so if "Project Runway" moves to Lifetime, does that mean they will get rid of the overly-gratuitous product placement? Or am I kidding myself and have been sipping too much of the punch?
Lisa de Moraes: Hahahahahaha ... oh, you're serious? Given how much Lifetime paid for the package, that included "Project Runway" and some lame-ish Weinstein Bros. flicks -- I think it was $15 googillion (my new favorite word, thank you very much Ben Stiller) but I'll get back to you on that -- you can expect even more product placement. Maybe if we're lucky, Lifetime has some guidelines for how to make it less ham-handed..
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Bluffton, S.C.: What a travesty! Michael Johns gets voted off and Kristy Lee Cook stays. I realize Vote for the Worst encourages voting for Cook. Not only does Michael get booted, he gets insulted with Ryan's snide comment, and then "Fox and Friends" this morning gives him all of 45 seconds! I guess the fellow was just too nice, had a great voice, and looked like a star. No more "Idol" watching for me.
Lisa de Moraes: I know I was a little delirious last night -- still recovering from "Idol Gives Back" night -- but I'm not remembering a snide comment from Seacrest re: Michael Johns. And before you jilt "Idol" altogether, remember that Chris Daughtry got the sack from the show too, and look at the nice career he's had since. There is an argument to be made that rockers do better getting the exposure and getting booted than winning, because the winner is forced to record craptastic pop songs like the "American Idol" Treacle Tune, etc. Doesn't really work with the whole rocker bad-boy thing...
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Burbank, Calif.: If Conan O'Brien suddenly is having trouble winning the ratings at 12:30 p.m., is NBC now worried about moving him to 11:30 p.m.? (No, I'm not Jay Leno -- why do you ask?)
Lisa de Moraes: He's still winning among younger viewers -- CBS's late night audience skews older than NBC's. But still, the news that Craig Ferguson had clocked more viewers than Conan for the first time ever in a clean five originals head to head with five originals has to have raised an eyebrow or two in the NBC exec suites...
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Washington: Do you think the switch from Bravo will affect the format of "Project Runway" in any way? I have a hard time envisioning the show on Lifetime.
washingtonpost.com: 'Project Runway' Struts Over to Lifetime. Not So Fast, Says NBC. (Post, April 8)
Lisa de Moraes: I doubt it will affect the format -- why mess with success? (I know, I'm so naive sometimes)? What it will affect is the demographic skew. Lifetime skews kind of old and heavily chick, though this was a pretty heavy chick-viewing show to start with. And if the demographics change, that might affect the kind of ads and product placement you see. Maybe more ads for middle-aged chick products. Arthritis medicines or something. But the woman who used to head ABC's reality show division, Andrea Wong, took over as head of Lifetime not so long ago and she's trying to young up the place a bit. Her hope, of course, is that the show makes Lifetime younger, not the other way around...
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South Korea: What's the deal with "Friday Night Lights"? I heard it was picked up, but with some weird caveat?
Lisa de Moraes: The episodes will be made available first to people who get DirecTV and then will air on NBC, which means NBC is airing reruns, though NBC execs argue so few people get DirecTV it won't matter that much. Apparently no one gave them the memo about what was happening with HBO's "The Wire" episodes when they were offering them OnDemand...
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Washington: Since his birthday is Jan. 7, how about having Caruso day halfway between his last birthday and next birthday, which would be Monday, July 7? If keeping to Fridays is preferred, then you could have it on the 11th. Or would too many people be out of town?
Lisa de Moraes: Way too many people out of town. Nice try, though. This is way more complicated than I thought it was going to be...
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"Secret Talents of the Stars": Thank heavens CBS got rid of that. What a crapfest.
Lisa de Moraes: You did not enjoy "Star Trek" thespian singing country tunes? Country crooner trying standup? Did you not love Gavin Polone as Simon Cowell?
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Washington: Lisa, because you know all, please tell us the truth about Katie Couric. Is she leaving CBS after the election in November? I can't imagine that she would leave such a lucrative contract.
washingtonpost.com: Katie Couric's Future as CBS Anchor Under Discussion (Post, April 10)
Lisa de Moraes: Just because she's leaving a show, if she is in fact leaving the show -- and it sounds like she's leaving the show -- doesn't mean she's leaving her contract. That's the rub! She may become the most expensive syndicated talk-show host ever if that's what CBS segues her to, as some have speculated...
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Pittsburgh: Re: Katie's successor, did CBS learn nothing from Bob Schieffer's comparative success in the wake of Dan Rather? I'd be happy to have Schieffer back, or maybe steady-as-a-rock Harry Smith or hottie Russ Mitchell as the new anchor.
Lisa de Moraes: First, to get back to you on the "Project Runway" price tag, it's not $15 googillion, as I believe I may have suggested, it's only $150 million over five years. A bargain I say. ... Now, about Couric's successor, if she is in fact outta there after the election: I'm guessing they did learn from Schieffer, who actually improved the newscasts ratings, only to see the improvement frittered away when Couric came on board. I'm hoping they also learned from Charlie Gibson's success over at ABC News after ABC News made the same mistake CBS News did -- trying to glam up and young up its newscast on-air team. In these troubled times -- yes, I know sound just like my mother -- evening news watchers, who tend to be older, want to get their daily dose of bad news from someone who is mature and has hard-news experience and who makes them somehow feel more comfortable with their daily dose of horror. They do not want to look at Katie Couric's incredible gams. I suspect they feel the same about Ann Curry's spectacular skin, magnificent hair, and trademark Beautiful Sad Face.
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Washington: Did any of the stars' secret talents include housework? Because my apartment needs cleaning, and I wouldn't mind throwing Clint Black or Mr. Sulu $50 to do the job for me.
Lisa de Moraes: Sadly, we will never know. CBS pulled the show after one episode. I think it was ordered as a seven-episode run -- maybe six. At any rate, there are five or six episodes worth of stars secret talents locked away in the CBS vault, which we will never get to see. Unless someday TMZ uncovers them and post them to its Web site...
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Baltimore: I say we make all our dreams come true by campaigning for David Caruso to replace Katie Couric on the CBS Evening News. Who's with me?
Lisa de Moraes: I am so with you on this. In sunglasses, of course. ... I'd actually watch that ... it will be a challenge for the newswriters to put everything in words of two syllables or less, but I think in time, it could work...
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Maryland: I know this is tangential to TV ... but have you seen what has happened to Television Without Pity since the founders stopped editing the site (a year after selling out to Bravo)? It is a shadow of its former snarky self. Do you know the story behind this?
Lisa de Moraes: I think you just answered your own question: Sold to Bravo. Honestly I don't look at the site that much any more. It always makes me sad when great concepts go corporate...
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Austin, Texas: Why do TV execs think that recycling old TV series is acceptable to the viewing public? We are not that gullible. Are all of the TV series ideas all used up?
Lisa de Moraes: Is this a reference to NBC's announcement they're putting "Knight Rider" on the air next season? Two words: "Charlie's Angels."
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Beltsville, Md.: Have you ever seen such a shocked and dismayed "American Idol" audience last night? I thought Syesha or Carly surely would have gotten the boot before hottie Michael Johns!
washingtonpost.com: On 'Idol,' It's the Night for the Three Candidates -- but Not for Aussie Michael Johns (Post, April 11)
Lisa de Moraes: So did everyone else. Did you see Paula's face when Seacrest broke the news. It was the picture of conflict: horror that Michael had gotten the hook and ecstasy that she now could throw her arms around his neck and hang on for dear life for as long as it took the producers to roll the end credits.
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Lost episodes/interviews: Why is it that when "Entertainment Tonight" airs an old interview it always is tagged as a "lost" interview?
Lisa de Moraes: Why is it, little grasshopper, that when NBC airs a rerun they used to call it "new to you"? So many questions....
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Fairfax, Va.: Did you see last week's "How I Met Your Mother"? It was a good-but-not-great episode, but the last 30 seconds were worth the wait. I love that Neil Patrick Harris owns his "Doogie Howser, M.D." past, rather than try to pretend his '80s TV self away (I'm looking in your direction, Johnny Depp).
Lisa de Moraes: Anything Neil Patrick Harris does on that show is okay by me. He's hugely talented and frankly should be on a better show...
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Bethesda, Md.: Ann Curry would be awesome as the CBS news anchor! I mean, not for reading actual news -- she'd be terrible -- but for the unintentional comedy. Think of expanding upon the possibilities from the " good morning good morning" clip "The Soup" uses all the time.
Lisa de Moraes: Yes, you're absolutely right. There is a part of me that's hoping this incredible dream comes true and Curry gets the gig. There will be no end of material for people who cover TV. I might even start a "This Day in Ann Curry" segment in the TV Column..
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Macon, Ga.: What was Mr. Sulu's hidden talent? I missed it.
washingtonpost.com: George Takei's "On the Road Again" (YouTube)
Lisa de Moraes: Here it is. Don't say you weren't warned!
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Washington: The discussion about Katie Couric and the third-place ratings of the CBS news has me wondering -- so what? It seems that with the evening news and morning shows, they all get reasonable audience size and are close to one another. Who cares who is slightly ahead? This odd focus on ratings seems all the more peculiar because we are taking about news programs (I realize that the morning shows only barely qualify as news programs, unfortunately).
The networks get the airwaves free; therefore, it is their responsibility to provide Americans with news. (And I don't mean chatter between hosts, the latest weight-loss fad, obsessive coverage of a white woman gone missing or interviews with a young women who was kicked off a plane because of her standard of dress.)
Lisa de Moraes: Yeah, I know, civic responsibility, free airwaves, yada yada yada. But it's all about making money for shareholders -- you may even be one -- which means advertisers are catered to and their game is demographics, even in news programming. Granted, the news demographic sold to advertisers is 24-45, not 18-34. CBS News skewed old with Rather and CBS hoped Katie Couric would young things up a bit, because the cold hard fact that your over-80 viewers tend to become your late viewers more quickly than your 34-year-old viewers. Unless they're Hollywood actors,of course, in which case they have about the same mortality rate...
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Boston: What happened to Craig Kilborn? Did Craig Ferguson feast on his heart like I've been told, or was it something else?
Lisa de Moraes: Honestly, he has so dropped off my radar I don't know. Anybody?
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Alexandria, Va.: What was it that prompted Ryan to twist the knife like that at the end? If it had been Brooke or Archuleta instead, do you think he would have been as brutal?
Lisa de Moraes: Aargh! What did he say? I seem to have missed his parting shot in my race to get blog up...
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CBS pulled the show after one episode.: I think what they discovered is that the stars really don't have any secrets that involve talent.
Lisa de Moraes: Oh no, lack of talent never has killed a show -- how else do you explain "Dancing with the Stars"? It's lack of viewer interest that killed the CBS show.
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Washington: I'm always fascinated by how a contestant usually ends up in the bottom three -- or even gets voted off -- after talking back to the judges. If Michael hadn't mixed it up with Randy about the importance of dreams, do you think he'd still be on the show?
Lisa de Moraes: He's done that before, blah blah blahing about how he picked the song because it was his dead best friends fave tune. Or was it his cousin? Anyway, that's not the first time he's argued that his wrong song choice was in fact the perfect song choice because it was someone's favorite song or he'd sung it in grade school and it had gone over big, etc....
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David Caruso to replace Katie Couric on the CBS Evening News: But this interferes with my plan to get Christopher Walken as her replacement! Wouldn't he be awesome reading the news?
Lisa de Moraes: Absolutely right. Walken would be much better. I'm switching camps...
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Washington: Who is the hottie guy in the latest Macy's commercial? It is kind of funny to see Martha Stewart trying to act flustered.
Lisa de Moraes: You watch commercials? Wow. I don't know, I tend to speed through them ... anybody know who this guy is? I want to hear more about Martha acting flustered...
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"Idol": Did David Spade have a clue where he was? He had this deer-in-the-headlights look.
Lisa de Moraes: You know, I ran into him at Barneys New York in Beverly Hills last weekend and he had exactly the same look on his face. I think it's his resting face...
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Give Back: Fergie's cartwheels were the best part of the show. I think she ticked off the Heart singer doing that.
Lisa de Moraes: It was craptastic watching the Heart chicks and Fergie try to hog the spotlight. I've never seen such scenery chewing while singing. Usually it's done while delivering spoken lines. I think when Fergie started doing the Cat Woman thing she pretty much won...
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Atlanta: Love the whole idea of an Act Like Ann Curry Day. I suppose that means we each would need to interview a person with our most serious frowny face and empathetic tone and interrupt constantly. And then can we take on Charlie Rose?
Lisa de Moraes: You clearly have a commanding knowledge of Ann Curry Day, except you forgot that we all would have to be dressed in something drop-dead gorgeous. I don't even know where to start with Charlie Rose...
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Olney, Md.: Carrie Underwood was in Baltimore on Wednesday night -- how did they get her to seem to be performing live in Hollywood? My wife -- country music fan that she is -- realized something was incongruous immediately, unless they have perfected time travel.
Lisa de Moraes: A lot of the celebrity stuff was pretaped from the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood. When you saw the Idolettes manning the phones, that was live.
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TMI: I know this may be a little personal, but what is the size of your DVR memory? Mine's 80 gigabytes and I'm running out of space, and I don't save any programs I've watched. So much TV, so little time.
Lisa de Moraes: It's nothing special. Which is good. It forces me to cull constantly and keep up better than I might otherwise. And I confess, the DVR is pretty jammed up with Turner Classic Movies flicks I hoard. I watched "Random Harvest" last weekend which is my new favorite chick-flick. I couldn't bring myself to delete it. ... Sad but true...
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Seacrest: He basically said: "As you know, last year on 'Idol Gives Back' week, we did not send home the lowest singer. So tonight ... we say goodbye to Michael." For the record, I thought it was awesome.
Lisa de Moraes: Oh -- you're talking about the way he bat him around like a cat batting a mouse. Of course, I knew that. Yes, it was cruel. Loved it, but felt bad for Michael -- assuming that he, like me, assumed for one brief shining moment that it meant he might not get the hook.
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Lack of talent never killed a show -- how else do you explain "Dancing With the Stars"?: Okay, Pookie ... so how do you explain "Dancing With the Stars's" success? Tom Bergeron, the professional dancers, the musicians?
Lisa de Moraes: Hey -- I love Tom Bergeron, who frankly is the guy who should win that very first Primetime Emmy Award for best performance by a reality series host. I think what makes it work so well is the all-important cheese factor. It rates very high on the cheese-o-meter..
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San Juan Capistrano, Calif.: How does "Shark" return with the way it ended (Shark facing certain disbarment)? Goofy soap opera escape, or just forget it?
Lisa de Moraes: Someone's gonna wake up and find him in their shower. I'm just sayin'...
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"Project Runway": Here's why the move is going to be bad for the show: Bravo's a pretty "come as you are," no-judgment kind of network. It airs a lot of "chick" shows without actually being a "chick" network. I know a lot of guys who either watch "Project Runway" alone or with their girlfriends/wives, and I think that more guys than most would guess are fans of the show, like me.
However, Lifetime is the Danielle Steele of the TV world. I never have watched the network -- and it occupies a whole 'nother planet than Bravo. I bet even gay guys would be ashamed to admit they watch Lifetime. I could deal with watching "Project Runway" on Lifetime, but I can't deal with being reminded ever 10 minutes that I'm watching Lifetime when they show some promo for the "beaten by husband flick of the week." How many other guys will be able to stomach the move?
Lisa de Moraes: You are preaching to the choir here. It will be fun to watch the move...
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Craig Kilborn: He got David Caruso's disease -- the one where you think you can be a huge movie star, not the one where you stop looking people in the eye -- and left voluntarily. Does no one remember the very public auditions that they held for that show, where different people actually hosted for a week (Michael Ian Black was one, and quite funny I thought)? TV is absolutely killing your brains, people.
Lisa de Moraes: Yes, we know all that. I was wondering what had become of him since he left the show..
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Rooting for Ann Curry: My first reaction was that this is a terrible idea -- then I remembered that I don't watch CBS Evening News anyway. But I do watch "Today" (well, the first 20 minutes, when it's actually news, before the 10-minute ad block and the nonstop fluff starting at 7:30 a.m.), and would be happy to be rid of her. Forget the Beautiful Sad Face -- it's the So-Earnest-It-Hurts Sympathetic Voice that I really can't stand.
Lisa de Moraes: I'm guessing you are not alone...
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Reston, Va.: I know "American Idol" is a popularity contest than a music contest, but I was rather rudely awakened last night by Michael Johns elimination. I don't want to say I won't watch the show anymore, etc., but I was tuning in every week to listen him sing. He was rather sad. And were Ryan Seacrest/producers rude or what with that dangling carrot of "we didn't eliminate last year during 'Idol Gives Back' week."
Lisa de Moraes: It was odd, and kinda mean...
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Arlington, VA.: Hot Macy's guy is Gabriel Aubry, Halle Berry's boyfriend. Figures, huh?
Lisa de Moraes: Really? I'm going to have to watch this one...
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Product placement: I always liked it on "Seinfeld" when they drank Snapple. "Care for a Snapple?" What I'm tired of is the "Top Chef" product sponsors. Okay, we get it, everything's getting packed in Glad!
Lisa de Moraes: It takes a good writer to make product placement sing...
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Sulu "On The Road": Noooo! I clicked your link! Even with your warning! That was seriously disturbing. My brain feels violated. What is the cure?
Lisa de Moraes: I'm thinking you need to watch the aforementioned Charlie Rose ... that'll clear out your brain...
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Seattle: Thanks for having us, Pookie. Given that NBC gave out what its schedule through 2009, when do you think we'll hear from the other networks? And did NBC head Ben Silverman scam you out of an upfront?
Lisa de Moraes: The other networks are going to announce their schedules in early May. NBC is having what they have described as kind of an amusement park that week, held in the skating rink area of Rockefeller Center, I think the plan was. They'll be able to touch the stars of new and returning shows, watch a cooking demonstration from the latest anger-management-challenged British cook starting in a reality series, talk to the Ford car that is Kitt on "Knight Rider," etc.. I'm thinking of renting a couple children and going...
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Couric to Curry: Another element to all this is that Katie so clearly had very little time for Ann back in the "Today" era. I remember that on Katie's going-away extravaganza, Ann lunged for a hug and Katie dodged it.
Lisa de Moraes: Good times. ... Speaking of time, I'm out -- bye.
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Luddite: For the last few of us Luddites in The Washington Post reading audience who still use rabbit ears and don't have cable, could you please link to an article on how to get discount coupons for that converter box thingie we'll need next year? Is it necessary to pay a professional to hook it up, or is it a DIY-caliber project for the average person?
washingtonpost.com: Here's everything you need to know: Checking Up on the DTV Conversion (washingtonpost.com, April 4)
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