Washington Sketch

Post columnist Dana Milbank, who serves as the capital's foremost critic of political theater in his Washington Sketch columns and videos, was online Thursday, May 1 at 1 p.m. ET to take your questions and comments about the things politicians say -- and the absurd ways they find to say them.

The transcript follows.

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Dana Milbank: Good afternoon, and happy "Mission Accomplished" Day. It has been five years since President Bush's famous landing aboard the USS Lincoln, and Democrats are celebrating by reminding him of it. This has the makings of the next federal holiday, a time for the entire family to get together over a meal and declare premature victories in their daily struggles. I am saying "Mission Accomplished" to my incomplete effort to lose 10 pounds. Hillary Clinton can say "Mission Accomplished" in her battle against Barack Obama. Obama can say "Mission Accomplished" in his effort to silence Jeremiah Wright. And John McCain can say "Mission Accomplished" in his brave struggle to tell the Sunni from the Shia.

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Odenton, Md.: Is it Rough Sketch or Washington Sketch? Are you trying to toughen up your image after last week?

Dana Milbank: A very interesting and important question, Odenton.

Rough Sketch --- or, "Rough Sex," as Chris Cillizza has dubbed it --- is the name of my blog. Except that it isn't a blog. It is just a place you can go to see the various things I've written for the newspaper or for the web, or done on video. This is confusing because it uses blogging software and looks exactly like a blog, even though I don't update it every five minutes and interact with you, the beloved reader. Hopefully this confusing answer has cleared up everything. Mission Accomplished?

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Washington: So ... sigh. The race continues. Your video "Sketch" after the Pennsylvania primary results exemplified many Democrats' feelings, including my own. Clinton's Sisyphean exercise is what? Vanity? Unchecked ego? Entitlement bravado? All of the above? Your thoughts on that and also, when the dust settles following her scorched earth defeat, what do you see Clinton's reputation and role as if Obama loses, and if he wins? Thanks.

Dana Milbank: The video, a link to which I'll put up after this answer, was a cry of pain. Three months after this Democratic nomination race was supposed to be over, I'm still going to Tuesday night "victory" parties and filing stories from hotel rooms. In part of The Post's ongoing effort to make its operations more transparent to readers, I decided to be filmed in bed for this particular video.

As for Hillary's motivation: I must assume that her plan is to make Obama even more unelectable than she is. Assuming that's the goal, she can just about declare Mission Accomplished.

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washingtonpost.com: Washington Sketch Video: Hillary's Back Again (washingtonpost.com)

Dana Milbank: Here's the video link.

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Great Falls, Va.: Dana, you're falling for that old administration press line again: Despite Perino's disclaimers yesterday, the "Mission Accomplished" banner really did celebrate a true victory. It heralded Bush's success in starting an unneeded war that has made billions for his administration's donors. In fact, the plan worked so well that they are going to do it all over again in Iran. On the other hand, you haven't lost 10 pounds. The problem is you just don't know how to express your goals.

washingtonpost.com: Rough Sketch: Bush's Least Favorite Anniversary (washingtonpost.com, May 1)

Dana Milbank: Great Ceasar's Ghost, Great Falls! You're right. And, in fact, I am opposed to arbitrary timetables forcing the withdrawal of my extra 10 pounds. I will return the weight on success. I don't even care if the weight stays on me for 100 years. Mission Accomplished.

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Oviedo, Fla.: Don't lose 10 pounds -- every square inch of you is delightful. Your lamentations column was a jewel. It changed the debate and framed the whole issue in a new light. Is it hard to write about a pastor, and "the black church" -- assuming that is one entity? Do you have to tiptoe, or does Wright having come forward give you license to drill deep? How is it different than if the wildcard was someone's stepsister, say, or college advisor?

Dana Milbank: Thank you, Florida. I am feeling much better about myself now, and I plan to take this question to my doctor tomorrow when I undergo my annual physical.

On the Wright thing: I am generally bad at tiptoeing (probably the excess weight) and tend to charge heedlessly into delicate areas. That said, the Rev. made things very easy by doing everything but light his hair on fire. I was at the press club for his speech Monday, and I got that rare feeling -- horrifying yet captivating -- of watching a train wreck occur before my eyes.

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Southborough, Mass.: I am a big fan of "The Daily Show" and "Colbert Report." The latest Washington Sketch video on how Jeremiah Wright is sabotaging Obama's campaign played like a bad sketch on one of those shows. What distinguishes Washington Sketch pieces from the satirical pieces on Comedy Central?

washingtonpost.com: How to Sabotage a Presidential Campaign (washingtonpost.com, April 29)

Dana Milbank: Are you trying to hurt my self-image and thereby make me gain more weight, Southborough? If so, I say to you: Mission Accomplished. I don't actually watch Stewart/Colbert, but I gather the main difference is they get to make stuff up and I am, unhappily, tethered to the facts.

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Fairfax, Va.: It took five years for the administration, through Dana Perino, to admit it made a mistake with the "Mission Accomplished" banner. Can you extrapolate out how long it will take before we get apologies for all the other mistakes the administration has made?

Dana Milbank: It is actually not quite so linear, Fairfax. There are occasional setbacks along the way to the acknowledgment of truth. For example, in writing about Doug Feith last week, I mentioned in passing the now widely-accepted fact that Saddam Hussein was not tied to al-Qaeda. But today we got a letter to the editor from Sen. Kyl's press secretary declaring that, in fact, Saddam and Osama were practically the same person.

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Vancouver, Wash.: How can you say Hillary should withdraw when no candidate with her delegate count and polling numbers ever withdrew in the past?

Dana Milbank: That Vancouver dateline doesn't fool me, Howard Wolfson. Actually I didn't say Hillary should withdraw; I merely pointed out that the Democratic race is making both candidates unelectable. And if that is their goal, I say to both of them: Mission Accomplished.

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Boston: We shouldn't look at these missions accomplished as failures, just as successes that haven't happened yet...

Dana Milbank: The White House chef should put this message in fortune cookies.

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Recycling: Do we know what happened to the famous "Mission Accomplished" banner? I would like to hang it in my cubicle in hopes of camouflaging some projects that I just can't get wrapped up.

Dana Milbank: It's 50 feet long, so you could cover up quite a bit of unfinished work. An anti-war group had a version of it on Pennsylvania Avenue outside the White House this morning.

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Anonymous: It's May Day. What's a commie like you doing working?

Dana Milbank: Quite right. I should end this chat now and declare Mission Accomplished.

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Tulsa, Okla.: Loved "Homo Politicus." Why oh why can't people see what it would be like to have Bill back at the White House? He never would shut up, he would inject himself into every issue, and valuable time and energy would have to be spent cleaning up after his messes. What's wrong that people can't see this? It's driving me crazy!

Dana Milbank: Very shrewd, Tulsa. I think the media's nakedly pro-Obama coverage is actually not in our self-interest. Obama is quite earnest, and that is bad for journalism. What's good for journalism is nonstop conflict, legislative gridlock, and constant disaster. This is why we in the Fourth Estate should be pushing for repeal of the 22nd Amendment, which would allow a third term for President Bush, who, I see on my CNN screen, is at 28 percent.

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Arlington, Va.: Is the Democratic Party really being destroyed/pulled apart? Seems to me that as long as neither of them can win without superdelegates, they should keep on going. Isn't that the democratic way?

Dana Milbank: It doesn't matter what dateline you use, Wolfson, I still know it's you.

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Chicago: On Larry King the other night Lewis Black said pundits on TV sound like a bunch of failed comics -- save Jeff Greenfield, who hasn't failed. Dana, do you consider yourself a failed comic, or just a failure at losing 10 pounds? Mission Accomplished.

Dana Milbank: I do not consider myself a failed comic, only one who has not yet accomplished that particular mission. There is every reason to believe that, if I keep troop levels where they are now, I will be both lighter and funnier at this time next year.

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We love you just the way you are!: Or at least I do! You're the reason I read The Post. *gushes*;

Dana Milbank: Thank you, mother. I was beginning to worry that you'd forgotten about this chat.

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Richmond, Va.: "But today we got a letter to the editor from Sen. Kyl's press secretary declaring that, in fact, Saddam and Osama were practically the same person." Seriously?!

Dana Milbank: Close enough. If they are attempting to position Kyl in the lunatic fringe, his aides can say to themselves: Mission Accomplished.

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Third term: Bite your tongue. No amount of journalistic amusement possibly could be worth it.

Dana Milbank: I was just trying to rile you all up -- and it appears I have, at least in part, accomplished this mission.

So, I hope you enjoyed this unhelpful and uninformative chat by this overweight correspondent. Go put on your flight suits and enjoy the day.

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