'American Idol': Sing Quartet

TV columnist Lisa de Moraes was online Wednesday, May 7 at 1 p.m. ET to dissect the gams and games of the "American Idol" Final Four -- David "Rockin' Munchkin Coroner" Cook, David "Scary Stage Parents" Archuleta, Jason "Soulful-Eyed Hippie" Castro and Syesha "Wait, You're Still Here?" Mercado.

The transcript follows.

Lisa Watches So You Don't Have To: "American Idol" | TV columns | On TV discussion transcripts.

De Moraes has written "The TV Column" for The Post since 1998. She served as the TV editor for the entertainment industry trade publication the "Hollywood Reporter" for almost a decade.

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Washington: Look, clearly Jason Castro is the weakest of the remaining singers -- and yeah, he doesn't seem to be putting in much effort -- but I think the judges were unnecessarily cruel to him. For the first time, I was annoyed with Simon. I found him to be smug and obnoxious. Thus, I voted for Jason last night, just to spite Simon.

Lisa de Moraes: Hi. I tried to follow your logic but I got lost. Did you see his first performance? It was like a bad frat house stoner performance...

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Washington: So Ryan says three of the final four were the top vote-getter at least once this season. We know the Davids are in that trio. Jason has had his good weeks, but good enough to top Cookie and Archie? I think not. Could Syesha be the third? That's my guess, considering that the week she was in the bottom two with Brooke they never actually called it the "bottom two," and DialIdol had her as the most popular in its busy-signal predictions. What say you?

Lisa de Moraes: Last week Seacrest never said Nanny Brooke and Syesha were the bottom two vote-getters -- he only brought the two of them on stage and said one of them was going home. Meanwhile, this is the time of year when DialIdol gets very accurate, and it said last week Syesha got the most votes. It's just a conspiracy theory, but I love conspiracy theories...

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Potomac Falls, Va.: Did anyone else notice that Rascal Flatts was on two live shows last night? They were in the "Idol" audience, and then they also sang live on "Dancing With the Stars." Hmm, are the studios that close, or was something not as live as it was being touted?

Lisa de Moraes: They are that close...

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Song choice: I don't understand why so many of the song choices have sucked this year. It seems that every year on "Idol" a lot of the contestants are decent enough singers, but really don't know that much about music. What has made David Cook so great is that the songs he has picked have been cool ... and then last night he picked "Hungry Like the Wolf"? At least it wasn't an obvious, overused "Idol" song (yes, I'm looking at you Syesha).

Lisa de Moraes: His performance of "Hungry Like the Wolf" was hilarious. Sadly, I don't think that's what he was going for. ... Yes, I agree this years crop of songs has been very poor. Not sure whether it's about what songs are being cleared or whether this group of Idolettes -- and their scary stage dads -- are particularly bad at song choice. Or maybe Idolettes should never, ever, ever be asked to sing Andrew Lloyd Webber tunes.

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Fairfax, Va.: I think Syesha already has figured out that she isn't going to win, so she's acting/singing for any Broadway producers who are watching. Her voice really isn't that great, but she is really strutting her stuff!

Lisa de Moraes: I'm guessing it's both. We all have seen that "Idol" winners and non-winning Idolettes can have successful careers on Broadway because, sadly, an Idolette in the cast will lure tourists -- I'm trying hard not to think about that. On the other hand, her voting seems to have improved since she went "Broadway" in her performances, if DialIdol is to be believed. And we have to believe in something, don't we?

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New York: So glad you're having this chat today -- what was up with Jason Castro last night? I could not believe what he did to the Bob Marley song! I haven't been a regular watcher this season but he was stunningly awful. Has he been this bad all season? If he doesn't go tonight, I have lost all hope in my fellow Americans.

Lisa de Moraes: Jason Castro is the first red light of the season on DialIdol, which means it's the first time this season the Web site -- which claims to track viewer voting on the show -- has committed to one Idolette who it says will get the sack. ... He has become increasingly bad. I confess there was a time when I thought him quirkily charming as a singer, but I snapped out of that pretty quick and now see him for the lazy singer he is. Could he have tried less hard last night? Only had he forgotten to show up.

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Richmond, Va.: Cook was so-so. Seemed afraid to be his usually daring self. Syesha is good when she does upbeat song like Broadway jive or Tina, but not Whitney ballads. Jason took the whole thing as a lark all along. He'll be packing, just as Simon said. Archuleta is just scary -- in a good way or a bad way? Just scary.

Lisa de Moraes: Archuleta's scary in an early-Wayne Newton way. I'd be happy if he only sang "Imagine." Ever.

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Herndon, Va.: What will happen if Jason Castro does not get voted off tonight?

Lisa de Moraes: Duh -- the republic will not survive. ... Chaos will erupt, blood will flow in the streets, women and children will not be safe...

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Mea Culpa: Okay, I admit it -- I am one of those people who has been voting for Jason Castro all this time because he is so darn cute. But last night was just embarrassing. I am so sorry and I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to all of you.

Lisa de Moraes: Apology accepted. Because we too briefly fell under the Castro spell, though, we did snap out of it weeks before you did. Still, you are forgiven. Welcome back to the sane side...

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Ears ... bleeding: Seriously, is anybody going to buy an album put forth by any of these finalists?

Lisa de Moraes: Not moi ... anybody else?

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Blasphemy!: Lisa don't you dare suggest that Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber should not be invited back. He was the best mentor ever. And I love his music. That was a great week. Almost as good as the first Beatles week.

Lisa de Moraes: I'm on record saying he's the best guest judge ever and I wish he'd replace Randy. But the Idolettes massacred his songs and it was painful. I think I really got over Jason when he said he had not realized that the song he sang from "Cats" had been sung by a cat because the play was about, um, cats...

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Arlington, Va.: I don't understand the level of animosity toward David Archuleta from some corners. He clearly has the best voice on the show this year and one of the best voices ever on the show. Also, give him credit for being 17 but singing like he's 30.

Lisa de Moraes: Like I said -- totally early Wayne Newton. He'll have a brilliant career. He has a wonderful voice, or "instrument" as Paula would say. ... She is talking about his voice, isn't she?

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The Sigma Chi Marley House: Hey, stop criticizing frat boy stoner performances! We've got feelings, too. No woman, no cry!

Lisa de Moraes: Yeah, yeah, yeah...

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Is Jason really that clueless?: Do you think the poor guy basically just said "screw this" and gave a couple performances he knew would get him sent home? I mean, they haven't been too kind to him for the past few weeks. On the other hand, he seemed more energized than usual at the thought of singing the two Bobs. If that was the case, why in heaven's name didn't the guy bother to practice?

Lisa de Moraes: I think he got stoned and missed practice. Or, more likely, missed the whole week. The Ford Music Video tonight will tell us all we need to know -- I'm certain of it.

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Syesha's Alternate Universe: How can Syesha not go home after comparing her journey on "American Idol" to the Civil Rights movement?! Are you kidding me? My jaw dropped when I heard where she was going with this. And then to cry and be so moved not because of the fact that the Civil Rights Movement allowed her to even be in this competition, but because she has had it rough on "Idol"? Oh please -- Castro was awful, but she is an idiot!

Lisa de Moraes: Yeah, my jaw fell into my lap as she explained that the song might originally have been about the civil rights movement, but has come to be about her journey on "American Idol."

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Bethesda, Md.: Who are the typical voters? I am 40-plus and the only person among my friends (all of them watch the show -- great bus stop talk) who votes.

Lisa de Moraes: We get precious little information about voters. Viewers, I can say, are getting older, like they do on all shows -- particularly reality series, which viewers who are younger tend to abandon first, to move on to their next fave reality series.

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Theory: Jason Castro is the Kellie Pickler of this season. Can he really be that dumb? He seemed to admit every week that he hadn't heard of the songs. And yet, like Pickler, there is something very charming about him.

Lisa de Moraes: He's the love child of Kellie Picker and Sanjaya...

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Silver Spring, Md.: My wife and I can't understand Randy's praise of the kid. He sings every song the same way and shows no real emotion. Why does Randy love him so much? Am I missing something here?

Lisa de Moraes: Randy seems desperate for there to be someone people are getting excited about, and appears to believe that if the judges rave about someone, viewers will think that persons must be great. I did think Archuleta finally broke out of his sameness to a degree last night -- he seemed to be connecting to the songs more and not being so robotic -- but he's never come close to his performance of "Imagine" very early in the competition.

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Castro vs. Guarini: Early on, I suggested a comparison between these two, and you thought there was none other than looks. Have you changed your mind?

Lisa de Moraes: I think Guarini tried a lot harder than Castro. Or have I merely blanked out the first season?

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Fairfax, Va.: Biggest "American Idol" bonehead move of the season: Neal Diamond as mentor. Just exactly what demographic are the producers shooting for? Wonder why ratings are down? No mystery. Next season, try to line up mentors like Bruce Springsteen, 50 Cent, Alicia Keys, Adam Duritz, Dave Matthews, sooo many more.

Lisa de Moraes: When they've had more contemporary mentors, they seem totally disengaged with the Idolettes. Sometimes they didn't even seem to want to touch the Idolettes -- they just wanted to plug their new tunes. At least the older ones genuinely seem pleased to be there, not annoyed that their manager made them do it. That said, yes, Diamond was pretty bad. His comment about every Idolettes's rehearsal was "I think he/she is gonna do great." It was funny at first, but then it got annoying...

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Washington: Yesterday on a plane from Seattle a passenger near me was asked a question about "American Idol," and he replied by saying he never watched the show. People within earshot actually clapped for him. Including me. Just thought I'd share.

Lisa de Moraes: Why does everyone else always get the fun airplane crowd and I'm always stuck sitting between the ginormous snoring man and the screaming moppet? Oh, and I wonder how many of those clappers are people who actually watch "Idol" but want people to think they don't, like those people who used to say they only watch PBS.

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Alexandria, Va.: Archuleta has a nice voice -- that's it. No stage presence, no musical creativity, and picks the low-hanging fruit with his song choices every week. And why does he always look like he's about to sneeze when he sings? I know it's hay fever season, but come on. I think he could be good, with a little more training and way more life experience, but as he is now he's deadly dull and completely generic

Lisa de Moraes: And when he sings, he always throws out his right arm with his palm up. Now that it's been pointed out to me, I barely can watch him, he's such a robot. One of the reasons I liked his second song last night was that the camera zoomed in on his facial pores and hung on for dear life so I could not see his right arm. It's like Connie Chung -- once someone pointed out to me that when she would be telling a happy story on the evening news, her head would bob up and down but when she was reading a bad or sad story, her head would go side to side, and I haven't been able to watch her since...

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Crofton, Md.:"At least the older ones seem genuinely pleased to be there, not annoyed that their manager made them do it." Elvis would be genuinely pleased to be there; that doesn't mean you should let him do it.

Lisa de Moraes: He's already done it. He was dead, yes, but he's done Idol. And it was the best guest performance ever on Idol -- ever. I'm hoping they make the Celine Dion Duet with Dead Person a regular feature of the Idol finale. John Lennon anyone?

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Archie-leta: Murdered "Love Me Tender"! My daughter said Elvis would die if he heard it (which made me laugh and have to explain that he's already dead). It was like Elvis on valium! That boy has no soul!

Lisa de Moraes: See, I liked it. And really, how can you call that a murder compared to Jason's two songs? No comparison..

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Damn Shame: I can't recall which contestant did it, but the best song I heard last night was the one about a free credit report.

Lisa de Moraes: Isn't it sad when the best musical performances on Idol that night are the tunes in the ads?

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Shoot Someone...: A couple of years back, I saw a list of the worst songs ever written. One of the top vote-getters: "I Shot the Sheriff." It's just not a good song, no matter who sings it (Marley is tolerable, Clapton is not awful ... and after that, well, its a long drop off to Castro-horrible). Jason Castro had a week or two of good songs, but ever since then he has gotten by on his extra-long lashes. "Mr. Tambourine Man" wasn't bad -- but really, the words aren't that hard. I actually voted for Syesha, because if Jason didn't get the boot, I would begin considering a career in the music biz -- I mean, I know a good song when I hear one.

Lisa de Moraes: I seriously do not understand why Syesha is still in the competition. She's great for dinner theatre, but that's about it...

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Silver Spring, Md.: Why hasn't anyone noticed Paula's other flub last week? Yes, she critiqued an unsung song, but she also called Syesha "Brooke" at the end of the night when giving her opinion on that performance. I have it on tape and rewound it to double check, and she does indeed call Syesha "Brooke" before going into her rambling monologue. Does "American Idol" do random drug screenings? If not, it may be time to start...

Lisa de Moraes: Why would you want to do random drug testing? Would you deny us the fun of watching Paula every week? I will fight your proposal with every ounce of strength I have left after blogging "Idol" for nearly six months...

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Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber : I am still hearing his voice saying "glamoupuss!" in my nightmares

Lisa de Moraes: Honestly, that's the best line ever from a guest mentor. He was brilliant. Why hasn't anyone snatched him up to be a regular judge on one of these competition series?

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Kellie Pickler's "shoes" are better than Jason Castro's dreadlocks: Pookie, I just had to give my two-cents' worth. Kellie Pickler's "shoes" are better than Jason Castro's dreadlocks, and her single that won her a Country Music Awards nomination (award?) was catchy. She's a better singer/performer/entertainer than he is. Okay, so maybe it's not just the "shoes" -- sorry, Mars Blackman.

Lisa de Moraes: Isn't there room enough in the pop music world for both shoes and hair? What about Madonna?

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Herndon, Va.: Enough! Give Jason some credit for all his good performances. Basically the only bad ones were during last night. There are reasons why he is still in the competition. However, I do think that he will get voted off tonight.

Lisa de Moraes: You're too kind -- to Jason. And I think it's a safe bet he'll go home tonight. Surely there can't be enough pre-pubescent girls in the country with cell phones to save him this week, right?

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Clueless singers: Okay, now let's all take a deep breathe -- none of them are rocket scientists, okay? They are singers. 'Nuf said. What stabbed me in the heart was realizing that I am old enough to be David Cook's mom. Thank goodness I don't think he's cute.

Lisa de Moraes: I take it you're not an advocate of the whole cougar movement. ... And they don't have to be rocket scientists, they just have to be smart enough to remember the lyrics to two tunes ... I think we're setting the bar pretty low here...

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St. Louis: I can't figure out by what criteria "Hungry Like the Wolf" was allowed. What's the connection to any Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame artist?

Lisa de Moraes: Sadly, I'm no Hungry Like the Wolf" expert. I actually thought the song name was a joke when Cook first said it ... yes, I'm that clueless..

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Ears not bleeding: I purposely have been avoiding iTunes during the "American Idol" shows, because I know I will be suckered into buying some of David Cook's songs.

Lisa de Moraes: What about Syesha tunes? Are you okay with buying those? And Jason Castro's two tunes from last night? Or are you strong enough to resist that urge?

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Reston, Va.: Why would anyone sing a Tina Turner song? It just makes it clear how awesome Tina is.

Lisa de Moraes: Syesha was so lame doing Tina Turner. I don't know why the judges did not savage her. Tina is not one of the pop music icons the judges consider sacred -- only Whitney and Mariah. What's up with that?

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Arlington, Va.: In my wildest dreams, I want to see either of the Davids go tonight, then the other next week. Isn't that how it's worked the past few seasons? Or is the Irish chick the only surprise eviction we get this season?

Lisa de Moraes: Is this the dullest "Idol" season or what? I don't think there's any hope of resuscitating this season at this late date. And yes, it would take whacking both Davids and having Jason Castro win the whole thing -- that would be brilliant. I'd love to see the "Idol" producers try to market Castro. He'd be their worst nightmare...

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Silver Spring, Md.: Lloyd Weber does his own reality show in England -- currently, it's casting a new version of "Oliver."

Lisa de Moraes: Yes, but that does me no good here. I want to see him on a show I can watch. Why should they have all the fun...

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Best idea ever: Was the idea to, instead of vote who to keep, vote who you want to vote off. Neutralize the teen girls.

Lisa de Moraes: Why would that neutralize teen girls? Do you think they're too nice to vote against someone? Did you skip high school?

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Best line in a blog/article ... ever!: "We've seen Beyonce doing Tina Turner doing "Proud Mary" at the Kennedy Center, Syesha, and you are no Beyonce doing Tina Turner doing 'Proud Mary.' " Well done, Lisa. Well done.

Lisa de Moraes: I just call them as I see them. I loved Beyonce doing Tina Turner at the Kennedy Center Honors.

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Archie-leta: Having seen the Web site with objects in David A's hand, the 9-year-old and I survive Archuleta by imagining various objects on his hand- -- last night it was Elvis trying to make him stop, or a monkey and the mic was a banana. Lots more fun that way, and less creepy.

Lisa de Moraes: My father used to work in the aerospace industry (I know, you're wondering where this is going) and he used to tell me -- often -- about great things that had been developed for space travel that have helped people and enriched their lives in many other ways. And not just Tang. Anyway, I think "Idol" is a lot like that too. What "Idol" needs is a federal agency, like NASA.

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Reston, Va.: Why would people clap for the person who hadn't seen "American Idol"? It's like bloggers who go on endlessly about the show, but then proudly say they never vote. It's a fun show. I don't watch every week and I rarely watch the horrorfest that is the results show, but I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying a little pop culture.

Lisa de Moraes: I suspect they're all closet WWE watchers, anyway...

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Washington: The most annoying thing about Archuleta is his bashful Bambi reaction whenever the judges praise him. Not as bad as last season's "lil' ole me?" backup singer, though. Where is she now?

washingtonpost.com: Former 'Idol' finalist Melinda Doolittle in town to hawk ice cream, talk 'Idol' (St. Louis Post-Dispatch, April 16)

Lisa de Moraes: Nobody was as annoying in her reaction to praise from the judges as Doolittle. Nobody.

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Most Boring Season: Sorry, this season is much better than last. Blake Lewis? To quote Lisa de Moraes: Gak! To me the biggest shock of this season was Michael Johns leaving.

Lisa de Moraes: I was surprised by his early exit and by Carly Smithson, who I still believe was the most talented singer vocally this season, by a long shot...

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Jessica Simpson -- great "shoes" and hair, but not talent: Yet another example of a singer having great "shoes" and hair, but lacking talent -- Jessica Simpson. There's only one Madonna. Of course, if we wanted to see a death-match feud between rabid fan bases, pit Madonna's against Kylie Minogue's!

Lisa de Moraes: The music industry is based almost entirely on finding that magical combination of great shoes and hair -- at least when it comes to the chicks...

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Silver Spring, Md.: I think Jason blanked on the chorus of "Tambourine Man" because he was concentrating on remembering the upcoming verse, which is a bit trickier than the usual pop song. It is Dylan, after all. I'd like to see one of them try early Springsteen sometime -- "Blinded by the Light," anyone?

Lisa de Moraes: Oh paleeze. He only had to learn one tune this week because he said he was very familiar with his Bob Marley tune.

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None of them are rocket scientists, okay? They are singers.: Which is exactly why they should know songs if they love music so much. We're not asking them to do quadratic equations ... just to know a little bit about the subject they claim to love and live.

Lisa de Moraes: I only ask that if they pick a tune from "Cats" they know it was sung by a cat in a play about cats. Then, hopefully, pick another song...

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Boston: Is it just me or is this is the second season in a row where there doesn't seem to be any compelling performers? This season in particular seems to be dragging to the end. ... Any opinion on what the producers are doing wrong? Or is it just because it has been around too long?

Lisa de Moraes: The Idolettes totally have run out of gas, and I maintain it's because they are being run ragged by the producers. It's like a sweatshop scene in a Dickens novel. They have to learn two songs. They have to learn the week's dreadful Medley sing-along, with horrendous accompanying choreography. They have to shoot a Ford Music Video. They have to do photo shoots. They have to go into a studio and record, re-record and re-re-record until they get it right, the entirety of the two tunes they've learned 1.5 minute versions of for the TV show. It's too much. They have no energy left for the show, and it's affecting their performances -- a lot.

I've run out of time. Bye.

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