If it's on the dial, over the air, on the cable, or just plain Out There, it's fair game for 'Station Break with Paul Farhi.' Bring your comments to the conversation on America's Fastest Growing Pop Culture Chat.

Farhi was online Tuesday, May 13, at 1 p.m. ET.

A transcript follows.

Farhi is a reporter in The Post's Style section, writing about media and popular culture. He's been watching TV and listening to the radio since "The Monkees" were in first run and Adam West was a star. Born in Brooklyn and raised in Los Angeles, Farhi had brief stints in the movie business (as an usher at the Picwood Theater), and in the auto industry (rental-car lot guy) before devoting himself full time to word processing. His car has 15 radio pre-sets and his cable system has 500 channels. He vows to use all of them for good instead of evil.

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Paul Farhi: Greetings, all, and welcome again...I noticed this AP story yesterday (link coming) saying that the networks' primetime ratings have fallen yet again, this time by a humbling 9 percent since the conclusion of the writers strike. Awful, but this is, of course, an old story, and not just for network TV. All of us mainstream media types are watching our readers and viewers and listeners scattering like so many winter leaves. My question: Where does this all end? One possible answer: A friend--I'll call him "Bob" (because that's actually his name)--has a theory. He calls it the chaos theory, and it goes (more or less) like this: At some point, no one in the "mass" media is mass enough anymore. Once-large audiences/readers/listeners of all mainstream outlets have fallen to tiny little audiences. Then, chaos. Advertisers can no longer reach a mass audience. Not only is the mainstream media a historical memory, but so much of the mass market is, too. The economy grinds down since companies can't really advertise to the masses any more. The theory has many more wrinkles but that's its essence. And it's scary. Thought you hated advertising? Just you wait.

And on that happy note, let's go to the phones...

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Floris, Va.: How is Chris Core's replacement doing in the ratings? Higher or lower than CC? I guess that my real question is: was it cost-efficient to replace CC with a lesser known personality?

Paul Farhi: Well, let's see: I don't have direct ratings for Core's replacement, Chris Plante, because Plante's show runs from 9-11:45 a.m. and I only have ratings from 6 am-10 am and 10 am-3 p.m. numbers). But I can tell you that WMAL is off, but only slightly, during those two time periods. So, at least for one ratings "book," it looks like Citadel Broadcasting's gamble is paying off. They got rid of a 33-year veteran and have taken only a slight hit. I'm sure they're happy.

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Cleveland Park, Washington, D.C.: Paul --

Commercial currently bugging me: the one where the women asks, "You know that song, 'Time In A Bottle'?" I think it's for Zyrtec.

What, they were too cheap to purchase the rights to the song, so they just reference it? And they're counting on a bunch of Jim Croce fans to buy their product?

Paul Farhi: I think they still gotta pay Jim Croce's widow, though. And they might as well have run the whole dang song while they were paying for it...Incidentally, my favorite all-time bad song-commercial song tie in was Ex Lax's use of "City of New Orleans" (the lyric they used, I think, was "Good mornin', America, how are you...?") but I think Steve Goodman, the writer of that song, never could have imagined how it would eventually be exploited..

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Alexandria, Va.: What do you think of the Mike O'Meara show on WJFK? I'm kind of enjoying it, though it's probably not quite as funny as Don and Mike.

Paul Farhi: This is the third chat in a row that the new O'Meara show has come up, so here goes my third (new) opinion on this subject: I've stopped listening to it as the successor to the "Don & Mike Show" and now consider it as its own thing. And it sounds better as a result. I mean, it's a different show, with familiar elements, sure, but different. And in and of itself, it's pleasantly entertaining. It's "gentler" than the old show, but that's fine--it's developing its own personality and not trying to be "Don & Mike II." Good on them.

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Bowie, Md.: Is anyone else a little creeped out by the Inova Hospital commercials I keep hearing on WTOP, where people are told about these horrible medical calamities that will soon happen to them by the nice people at Inova who will be treating them? Maybe it's just me.

Paul Farhi: Funny, but much of hospital advertising seems to be moving in this direction. They've gotten bolder and franker and more scary. Not very long ago, it was taboo to even say the word cancer on the air. Maybe that's hypocritical and Victorian, but it was a fact. Now? Hospitals all but say, "See us for your life-threatening illness or you'll be sorry."

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Richmond, Va.: Worse than the hospital ads are the OnStar ads that air actual 911 calls with all the fear and desperation ... I can't stand them!

Paul Farhi: Well, at the risk of being inconsistent, I kind of like those. Very gripping real-life dramas. Great product demo. And all the stories turn out to have pretty happy endings. I'm not sure why else you'd want OnStar (maybe the remote unlocking service), but the safety-call thing is a pretty compelling sales proposition, don't you think?

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Reston, Va.: Hi Paul: So, two major logistical nightmares for Clearchannel this past weekend -- DC101's Chili Cookoff and Radiohead out at Nissan. I had the distinct pleasure of being caught in both of them. What's up with them selling off their D.C. holdings and getting out of town?

Paul Farhi: Selling off their D.C. holdings? Are you breaking news here, Reston? Far as I know, Clear Channel intends to continue being THE radio behemoth in the Washington area. Yes, they're undergoing a rather troubled LBO back at HQ in San Antonio, but so far, that's been neither here nor there here...

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XM or HD?: The boom box in my kitchen finally died and I'm looking for a replacement. Should I take the plunge into HD or just head over to XM? I enjoy local radio but want to hear a greater variety, including more real jazz. Thanks!

Paul Farhi: This is an evergreen question on the ol' Station Break. Without selling anyone's service, I'd say the following: HD radio looks like a bust (so far). Very few people have the receivers, and the local audio offerings aren't particularly diverse, deep or interesting. XM vs. Sirius? Well, with the caveat that they may get approval from the FCC very soon to become XM-Sirius (or Sirius-XM, or whatever), the choice now depends on what your big favorite kind of programming is. The musical choices are fairly similar, but the special programming is where the sales are probably made. For example, you like Howard Stern? You want Sirius. You want baseball or NFL football? That choice would determine which one you go to.

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Washington, D.C.: With ratings dropping fast (and thus advertisers not willing to shell out as much cash), at what point does network television no longer become profitable?

Paul Farhi: The networks' owners don't break out their operating results, so it's hard to know. But various experts believe that the networks HAVEN'T been profitable, from time to time. But that's really an accounting question. The networks' owners are conglomerates that own various assets (local TV stations, production studios, etc) that wouldn't be profitable WITHOUT the networks. So, in some respects, it almost doesn't matter if the networks make money as long as the rest of the company's TV ecosystem is healthy. And so far, that ecosystem seems to be doing quite well.

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washingtonpost.com: TV viewers still down after strike ( AP, May 12)

Paul Farhi: This is the link I was talking about (thank you, maestro...)

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Baltimore, Md.: Jimmy Fallon going to late night on NBC: Paul, your colleague Lisa de Moraes quotes Jimmy Fallon saying that he wanted to do TV because it takes six months to make a movie and then there is another six months before people go see it and, you know, TV is much more immediate.

But isn't it a fact that people don't go see Jimmy Fallon movies? If they did, he would be a movie star, which ranks higher on the entertainment pecking order than "host of a show that comes on at 12:30 a.m."

Paul Farhi: I like Fallon and think he's a pretty good choice for the post-Conan chair. But, yes, he was an abject failure as a movie actor. No one bought him in that role (and he's not the first TV guy to fail to make the leap to movies). But hosting a late-night talk show is a pretty good fallback position. If his show works, he'll be employed (and extremely rich) for a very long time.

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Alexandria, Va.: Love the chats, Paul. It seems like the "Mike O'Meara" show came out of the gate with a damn good start, but is is waning a little bit. Do you think that the fact that it's the elements of the "Don and Mike Show" without Don could be the reason behind the loss of luster? I love hearing Buzz more often, especially the hourly "Buzzcasts", but Beth Ann and Robbay are pitiful as sidekicks/producer!

Paul Farhi: See, the BethAnn and Robbay bits are the essence of the thing, the real point of departure from the old show. The strategy, it appears, is to develop Mike's chemistry with the other regulars. If those bits don't "work" for you, the show fails. Me, I kinda like. Different, yes, but not different bad.

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RE: OnStar Ads: Have you heard the OnStar parody "BlondStar," in which the blond calls in a panic because she is locked inside her car ("Ohmigod, I'm starting to sweat..")? Quite humorous, in a non PC sort of way.

Paul Farhi: Never been too much of a fan of blonde jokes (the new-ish Polish jokes, I guess, because Polish people took offense, and blondes are the last people we can get away with insulting, I guess), but I kinda like the concept. Where would one find this golden nugget?

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SoundExchange:"I think they still gotta pay Jim Croce's widow, though."

As do you, since your chat just referenced his song!

But that would be insane. And thus, no royalties are paid when a work of music is mentioned, only when the music is played is a royalty owed.

Paul Farhi: I defer to you on this, SoundExchange. My understanding of copyright law is stuck in the pre-Napster Neanderthal era...

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Scary Hospital Ads: Reminds me of the life insurance ads about all the horrible things that are going to happen to your family after you die, because you didn't have enough life insurance.

Paul Farhi: Yes. Exactly. Big change in insurance ads, too, some years ago (maybe the '80s?). Used to be, they'd never exactly tell you what the heck life insurance was for. Now, of course, it's all about potential tragedy and guilting you out about not "being prepared."

Say, we ought to have a name for this kind of fear mongering advertising. The floor is open...

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And: even worse than the OnStar is the auto insurance where the friends are happily talking and the WAMMO! Huge car wreck sounds! Too real and scary for me. Just tell me you'll give me good service, no need to scare the pants off me.

Paul Farhi: Car advertising went this way last year, in a big way. VW ran a series of ads in which they showed actual (and quite frightening) crashes. It was a step up (or down) from the traditional controlled crash-lab test thing; these were actual people in actual (though somewhat staged so as not to kill the actors) crashes. And I have to say: They certainly got MY attention.

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RE: Jimmy Fallon: So no Taxi 2? Who's bringing the giant bucket to catch the river of Queen Latifah's tears?

Paul Farhi: And what was that movie in which he played a big Red Sox fan who ignored his girlfriend, played by Drew Barrymore? I forget. Then again, so did everyone else.

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Time in a Bottle: Actually, it's fitting because Jim Croce suffered from terrible pollen allergies, and he wrote this song because the allergies were keeping him from enjoying the time he could spend with his newborn son.

If I could save time in a bottle

the first thing that I'd like to do

is to save every day

'til sinusitis passes away

just to spend them with you....

(kidding, everyone)

Paul Farhi: Rework "sinusitis" to "leaf mold and ragweed" and I think we can work with you here at Zyrtec Corp...

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Digital TV: Paul, I see a huge problem on the horizon with the transition to digital TV -- the weakened signal. And not necessarily the over-the-air broadcasts, but the digital cable. For instance, on Saturday night I tried to watch the digital signal of channel 5 (5-1) over my Comcast cable to a digital set and I could barely get anything (because of the bad weather somehow?). But the analog signal over cable channel 25 was perfect. This isn't the first time I've seen digital signal strength become a problem in bad weather.

Paul Farhi: I think you're right. There are a number of complications coming, and this is one of the big ones. The FCC, to its credit, is testing out the DTV system in an actual place (Wilmington, N.C.) about six months before the whole country makes the transition. I'll bet if they turn up major problems, there will be a delay in the implementation date. On the other hand, it IS time American got with the digital TV program, it being the 21st Century and all...

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Insurance/Hospital Ads: You all make a good point about the inappropriate fear mongering of these ads. Nevertheless, I prefer them to the old Metamucil commercials talking, in great and earnest detail, about the many facets of constipation (how it's caused, why it's bad, etc.)

Paul Farhi: Oh, we've still got those...And speaking of which, those Jamie Lee Curtis commercials for that digestive yogurt (or whatever that is) make me just a little bit nauseous.

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Sarasota, Fla.: I'm disappointed that Jimmy Fallon was the best they could come up with. Fallon was very funny on Saturday NL but I think Lou Dobbs would be a better choice (kidding). I don't think Fallon will last 6 months, but I'm getting old and nobody seems very funny anymore.

Paul Farhi: Well, I'm getting old, too, and I'd hate to think I'm turning into a curmudgeon (Hey...what are those kids doing out there?...Hey, you! Yes, you!...Get off my lawn...!)...Late-night hosting isn't just about comic skills. You need some kind of likeable personality. This is why Jimmy Kimmel fails for me (not a great comedian; not likeable) whereas Craig Ferguson kind of works (fair comedian; winning personality).

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Fallon: The Red Sox movie was Fever Pitch, a very poor adaptation of a very good British memoir and film about being a fan of Arsenal, a major London soccer club.

Paul Farhi: Thanks for the research. And now I wanna know the name of the original flick, which sounds like it might be good...

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What's worse : is the radio ads that start with a siren sound. Every time I hear it while driving I think an ambulance is behind my car and I need to get out of the way! It ought to be against the law to use siren sounds on the radio: could cause an accident.

Paul Farhi: Yes, when we rule the world (and I can feel that it won't be long now), those will be banned.

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They certainly got MY attention. : Yes, but I don't remember what company was advertised. Whereas I sure as heck know that cut little gecko works for GEICO.

Paul Farhi: They were for V.W. And maybe they didn't work, not really, because they came and went. Hard to build an entire long-running ad campaign around smashed up cars, I guess. Cavemen and gekkos--well, that's another story...

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Speaking of commercials: There's an Aleve commercial (playing every 10 minutes on CNN) where some middle-aged woman is happy to be able to dance to Motown because she took her pain reliever. You have to make her stop. Now.

Paul Farhi: I will not. It would only free up more time for 1) Jamie Lee Curtis' ads (whose product, according to the Maestro, is Activia), and 2) the mysterious Head On ads.

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You need some kind of likeable personality.: Oh, you mean like Dave Letterman?

Paul Farhi: Good point. Letterman is the anti-talk host. He's sour and grumpy and snarky and ironic and, frankly, kind of a fascinating guy. He's likeable for NOT demanding that you like him (the way Jay Leno, at his smarmiest, begs for it). Letterman broke the mold, but he's really the only one.

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Washington, D.C.: About Nissan Pavilion: Much of the traffic and transit chat was taken up with the nightmare of getting out of Nissan this past weekend. One person wrote that it took them two hours just to reach the main road. Is this sustainable? Won't folks just eventually stop going if it is that nightmarish?

Paul Farhi: Nissan is usually nightmarish to get out of, but the rains really brought the whole joint to a stop. Sounded like a nightmare. But even in good weather, they have a problem that they've never seemed to be able to solve. Makes going there unpleasant. But I guess people will put up with anything to see something they love (c.f., FedEx Field after Redskins games)....

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Fallon redux: The original film was...Fever Pitch, with Colin Firth.

Paul Farhi: Thank you, redux.

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And Other Commercials: The Aleve commercial is annoying, but at least I can watch it with my 10-year-old without cringing (yes, Viagra and Levittra, I'm looking at you)...

Paul Farhi: I'm sure the cringing goes two ways. Viagra, et al, are but this generation's Summer's Eve and Tampax commercials. I used to feel extremely uncomfortable watching those with my folks around back in the day...

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Here's a commercial I like: There's one for some skin treatment thing for women. I don't care about the product but Diane Lane is in it. I'm buying whatever she's selling...

Paul Farhi: Saw that one the other day. No idea what she's selling but, wouldn't you know?, I stopped and watched the whole darn thing. I guess the ad must be aimed at me.

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Sarasota, Fla.: Curmudgeon -- that sounds like me. Jimmy Kimmel has talent telling jokes etc., but his gutter humor shouldn't be plastered all over the airwaves. Craig Ferguson is about as funny as income taxes, but you're right he does work hard.

Paul Farhi: I think we can break this down this way:

Ferguson: Watchable.

Kimmel: Not so much.

Fallon: Unknown.

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XM vs. Sirius: I'm mildly interested, but I'm sure they are one day going to phase out the current equipment of one or the other. (Hey, do any of you get support for old computer software or hardware?) I'm waiting until the company is merged and gets out a single, unified, perhaps ala carte device... and I'm sure I'm not the only one waiting to see what happens.

Paul Farhi: This will be one of the big question after the merger, if there's going to be a merger. They have made assurances that they won't let their current equipment become obsolete, immediately post-merger, but you'd have to imagine the goal would be to offer one unified receiver.

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Bossy pants!: Sheesh, Paul, you want the BlondStar parody, you want the name of the English movie about the Arsenal fan, would you like a ham sandwich while I'm up?

Paul Farhi: Now that you mention it...(And with that spicy brown mustard, please)

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Calvert County, Md.: I listen to a radio station that broadcasts out of Easton, Md., which shall remain nameless. Comes in really clear since it's only about 6 miles across the Bay from me. They have a good music format which I like (was really getting tired of golden oldies) and their morning DJ sounded somewhat professional. A couple weeks ago they did a staff change and got somebody who doesn't know how to operate the controls. Lots of dead air recently and stupid contests. They also have a 'news reporter' who is by no means a trained professional announcer. She has a horrible accent and stumbles through the news report, stammers, repeats herself. Annoying as all get out. Oh, and then they have a 'traffic announcer' who mumbles and you can't understand half of what she says.

Is there a rule that on-air announcers have to be professionals or at least union members? This is the same station that has that annoying Delilah syndicated stuff in the evenings. I turn of that station at 8:00 p.m.

Paul Farhi: I almost long for that kind of "authenticity." It sounds local and spontaneous and, yes, crummy, but in a good way. Radio's plenty slick enough now. I'd listen to something that was, at least, earnest if not "professional."

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Night Owl: So when Conan moves to L.A., will the Max Weinberg 7 go with him? Most of those guys have roots in NY/NJ. And even more important, can they get Andy Richter to come back?

Paul Farhi: Good question. Unresolved at this time (Leno, btw, is still kind of bucking to keep the Tonight Show)...And the MW7 is a really good band. The horn section guys played at a Southside Johnny show I saw a year-plus ago. Spectacular!

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Paul Farhi: Folks, I see by the ol' clock on the wall that it's time for me to goof off in a different way. So, reluctantly, I'm blowing outta here. But let's discuss Activia and Summer's Eve again next time. In two weeks. Be there. Meantime, regards to all...Paul.

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