Post TV columnist Lisa de Moraes was online Friday, May 30 at 1 p.m. ET to discuss anything and everything on TV -- except the "Lost" finale, which is waiting on her DVR. For the love of God, no spoilers!

The "Lost"-less transcript follows. Your "Lost" questions can go to fellow obsessives Jen Chaney and Liz Kelly's 2 p.m. discussion.

Lisa Watches So You Don't Have To: "American Idol" | TV columns | On TV discussion transcripts.

De Moraes has written "The TV Column" for The Post since 1998. She served as the TV editor for the entertainment industry trade publication the "Hollywood Reporter" for almost a decade.

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Takoma Park, Md.: I would like to reiterate my previous call to have less Ted on "How I Met Your Mother." To whom would I speak about that? Two minutes of Barney in traction was more awesome than the rest of the show put together.

Lisa de Moraes: Hi. Barney in traction was brilliant. They should do a whole episode of Barney in traction. It would be his Emmy-contending episode ... you know how the TV Academy loves when characters overcome obstacles...

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Not a spoiler: But Lisa, I recall that you put your foot down last fall and said that you were fed up with anti-spoiler pleas at the workplace. I don't want to gloat, Pookie, I just want to illustrate my point that a universal one-week spoiler policy is a good idea. Who's with me? (I say this as a person who had the "Iron Man" post-credits scene absolutely spoiled by Entertainment Weekly, who you think would know better.)

washingtonpost.com: To be fair, your moderator wrote that bit in the introduction, not Lisa.

Lisa de Moraes: Thanks for being fair because, yes, you're right, my producer wrote that fun, well-intended intro. So far as I'm concerned, spoil away. I was, sadly, not able to watch the episode last night and play my new favorite TV viewing game -- imagining where the "Lost" writers had inserted the profanities in the script that didn't make it to air. The Los Angeles Times broke this important story, that the "Lost" writers are putting expletives in the scripts in parentheses, which are not spoken by the actors, in order -- as co-creator Damon Lindelof explained to the Los Angeles Times -- to make sure the cast (apparently a pretty dim bunch) know they're supposed to be acting scenes with intensity instead of, say, just lounging around the beach getting a tan.

Without the expletives, he explained in that interview, the actors might not know "there are any stakes or intensity" to their characters' situation in a scene. "If somebody's walking through the [expletive] jungle or [expletive] Sawyer is walking through the [expletive] jungle, it projects a certain level of intensity that the actors read and go, 'I'm playing this with some intensity as opposed to just sitting around,' " he explained. Sadly, there is no indication in the story as to whether the interview was interrupted at that point while the reporter recovered after nearly choking with laughter.

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Washington: Did you catch the season finale of "House" yet? I think I've decided that it was my favorite finale of the year. It made me cry, and could set up some interesting dynamics for next season.

Lisa de Moraes: I agree, there is new optimism for the show moving forward. They seem to have figured out how to keep it fresh, after all.

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Seattle: Thanks for these chats. I am soooo looking forward to the return of the non-celebrity "The Mole." But do you think the new guy can be as good as Anderson Cooper? Will he do a dance while saying "I love this game"?

Lisa de Moraes: No one could be as great as Anderson Cooper in this hosting gig. Never again will we see such a nice balance of shame and arrogance in a reality-series host. That comes but once in a lifetime, folks.

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Washington: I happened to turn on the "Today" show this week (I usually watch Fox 5 News). Why do they have the hosts standing outside in front of a crowd that makes so much noise that you can't hear what the hosts are saying? I had to turn it off because it was too annoying that early in the morning.

Lisa de Moraes: It's simulating excitement. It's supposed to be contagious. You the viewer at home are supposed to get swept up in the crowd noise and think you're on to something really big here. On the other hand, I find the talk-drowning crowd noise helps me get through that Kathie Lee hour of "Today."

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Fairfax, Va.: I was watching CBS last night and saw a commercial for a TV show starring Jay Mohr. Does someone think this is a good idea, or does Jay Mohr have incriminating evidence against CBS executives?

Lisa de Moraes: "Project Gary," in which he plays a recently divorced guy who is dating a hot chick -- duh -- certainly did not "clip" well at the network's upfront presentation. But I'm still mourning the end of his Fox comedy series "Action" which should've been an HBO comedy series, where it had been intended to run. But that's another story -- and yes I'm still bitter about that one. Anyway, you probably won't need to worry about this show long, because Paula Marshall plays his shrewish ex-wife, and she's an infamous show-killer. Not that she's a bad actress or anything, just that shows she's in tend to get canceled.

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Beatrice, Neb.: Hey Pookie -- George Stephanopoulos is David Archuleta as a grown-up. Of course, George has managed to lose that goofy smile, or at least make it a little less goofy.

Lisa de Moraes: Really? I hadn't noticed G.S. becoming all tongue-tied and looking like he was afraid his Scary Stage Dad was going to give him a tongue-lashing every time someone asks him a question on-camera.

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Ballston, Va.: Quick "Lost" comment, more for that discussion -- it's not the characters who are lost, it's the viewers!

Lisa de Moraes: Feel free to discuss here if you want. I am more of the writers-are-lost camp...

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Washington: How bad is it that "My Boys" was only picked up for another eight episodes or so? I'm watching the first season in preparation for the new season starting in June and just love the show -- it's definitely one of the best on TV right now, at least in my opinion. I hope TBS doesn't cancel it -- if anything they should kill that terrible "House of Payne." Really just awful, actually.

Lisa de Moraes: I've pretty much given up trying to read to much into anything since the writers strike messed up everyone's schedule. That said, yes, a 13-episode order is a much stronger vote of confidence than an eight-show order...

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Anonymous: Pookie, any new summer series I should be keeping my eye open for? Thanks!

Lisa de Moraes: You absolutely don't want to miss CBS's "Swingtown." Whether it's fantastic or a train wreck, this is the first and last time you're going to see a broadcast TV series about swingers in this country -- an historic moment for serious students of TV ... I admit, I'm also liking the new game show with Rege. There, I've said it.

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Harvey Korman: Hearing he died made me so sad.

washingtonpost.com: Harvey Korman; Comic Known For 'Burnett,' 'Blazing Saddles' (Post, May 30)

Lisa de Moraes: The older I get, the funnier he seems. Help!

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Richmond, Va.: Pookster, I just caught the finale of "30 Rock" on NBC.com. Was Matthew Broderick great or what? I'm still laughing about the running pen joke. Could there be an Emmy in his future?

Lisa de Moraes: He's always great -- except when trying to play Prof. Harold Hill on ABC's remake of "Music Man" which was just a sad bit of miscasting. But that was ages ago and everyone has forgotten.

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Leesburg, Va.: Hello: I thought one of my favorite shows: "Men In Trees" was cancelled -- grrr. However, they are showing it again. What gives? Thanks so much.

Lisa de Moraes: Summer Burn-Off Theater...

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Washington: Lisa, in regards to the "Pushing Daisies" fall relaunch, if the fans who watched the first season are going to have to be subjected to all the back stories to explain Mr. I-Revive-Dead-People's history, in lieu of new developments, how is ABC going to hold on to the old audience while trying to cultivate and grow a new expanded fan base? Wouldn't underperforming numbers on the relaunch (at least after the premiere) make it tricky to determine whether old fans were tuning out while new fans get up to speed, or if there were just fewer people watching -- whether returning or new viewers? Are they actually planning to re-air re-runs as "New to You," or just flashback scenes or montages that previously have aired? I guess the same question would apply to "Chuck" and the other relaunched serials...

Lisa de Moraes: If they're smart they will do a marathon of the previously aired episodes walking up to the relaunch. Those who never saw the show or want to relive those episodes can do so, or otherwise pick up where the new stuff starts in the fall...

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Washington: I don't have cable TV, but my mother does and I visited her recently, and watched the most amazing show. It's called "Keeping Up With the Kardashians"; it's a reality show. When I say it was amazing, I mean amazingly awful -- please tell me it has been canceled. The people in it were insipid and vapid. Further, it was clear that much of the show was planned. I don't know who these people are (except for Bruce Jenner) or why they would get a TV show. I love trash TV as much as the next person (though I usually watch PBS, of course), but this show was dreadful.

Lisa de Moraes: She was one of Paris Hilton's fringe BFFs. Happily, the launch of E!'s two new shows about celebutantes -- "Denise Richards: It's Complicated" and "Living Lohan" which technically is about Mother Lohan, but every other word that comes out of her mouth is a reference to her daughter/gravy train -- did bigger numbers than the launch of the Kardashian show which bodes well for the two new series...

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Falls Church, Va.: Lost in all the "American Idol" hype this season was that I don't think they had a catchy "buh bye" song. Two seasons ago, it was the Danny Powter song, and last season was the Daughtry "buy bye" song. Also, what happened to the viewer-submitted song that the finalists were supposed to sing? All of that seemed to get swept under the rug.

Lisa de Moraes: This year it was a Ruben Studdard tune, about crying him home, or singing him home, or doing something on the way home. Yes, it was forgettable. And yes, they did not make nearly as big a deal of the "American Idol" Coronation Treacle Tune this year. This time around, they let the two remaining Idolettes pick one from the 10 finalists -- and man were they some kind of bad -- but neither was the actual winner of the "American Idol" Coronation Treacle Tune competition. So we only heard that song the night of the finale. It came and went so fast, and lacked the usual Treacle Tune craptactic-ness, that it's already out of my head -- thank god...

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Washington: Why did the season finales of "Grey's Anatomy" and "Lost" (and some other finales, I believe) fall outside the May sweeps? Was it simply because of the writer's strike, or are the networks caring less and less about sweeps?

Lisa de Moraes: No, they cared about the May sweep and the TV season plenty. This season got entirely wiped out by the writers strike. Put it out of your mind -- try to forget it.

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Broderick: Actually, he was awful in the film version of "The Producers." The original is one of the all-time greats, but the film remake was one of the worst things I've seen in a long time.

Lisa de Moraes: And see, I hated the original -- for which I'm sure I shall be punished, because it's practically heresy. But there you are...

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Alexandria, Va.: I sympathize with folks who aren't caught up with what's on their TiVo, but it's up to those of you who haven't watched a given episode to sequester yourselves.

Lisa de Moraes: Preaching to the choir! Go ahead and chat away about any and all episodes...

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Spoilers!: The coolest boss I ever had blacked out the spoilers in a Time article about "Twin Peaks" so I could read the article!

Lisa de Moraes: Um, congratulations? Did you ever watch the show, or did your boss just have to keep "blacking out" spoilers in every article about "Twin Peaks" until it was dead?

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Falls Church, Va.: I can't decide who's realty show is worse -- Flavor Flav's or Tila Tequila's -- any helpful insights to help me decide?

Lisa de Moraes: No. I think you need to keep watching both until you make up your mind. Or your brain turns to liquid. I gave up both on advice of my doctor.

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"The Tudors": In last week's chat, you said that Henry could stay young and cute through all his wives because it wasn't even pretending to stay true to events. I'm wondering if it can't be something like that Hugh Hefner reality series, and Henry could have two or three wives at once, with Katharine of Aragon playing the Barbi Benton role. Revisionist history can be fun!

Lisa de Moraes: Great idea. Or better yet, how about just digitally removing Hef from his series and inserting "The Tudors's" Henry, Jonathan Rhys Meyers into that show? I'd watch that...

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Show Killer: Paula Marshall has shown up in a couple of episodes of "Shark" -- does that show stand a chance of continuing? I love Paula (really, Paula, call me), but maybe her powers could be put to good use with appearances on targeted network series. I see her as Caruso's sunglasses supplier for one.

Lisa de Moraes: Gone ... and great idea, re: using her to target shows that need killing...she could be serving a greater purpose...

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Arlington, Va.: What are your thoughts on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"? I personally think it is a hilarious show, and I also like how homegrown it is. And on a completely different topic, do you know if "The Unit" is coming back? (For what it's worth, "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" is my favorite show, "The Unit" is my boyfriend's fav. It's a wonder how we can manage living with one television.)

Lisa de Moraes: I say dump the guy, but you should get a second opinion. Try Carolyn Hax's chat -- I'm sure she'll agree with me. And yes, "The Unit" is back -- all the more reason you need to speak to Hax.

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Shhpoiler: Darth Vader is Luke's father. Also, it was all a dream in Bob Newhart's head.

Lisa de Moraes: Nooooooo! And: Noooooooo!

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Snarky Anne Heche remark here: Given that "Men In Trees" has been cancelled, wanna take bets on how long Anne "Call Me Crazy" Heche will take to dump her co-star and hook up with somebody else who looks like she/he can advance sweet Anne's career?

Lisa de Moraes: Ah, I thought you were describing Rose McGowan. Or Jennifer Garner. Or any number of leading ladies who always seem to wind up in "relationships" with their co-stars, directors, etc. Isn't that a time-honored Hollywood tradition?

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Show killers: If Paula Marshall and Ted McGinley did a show together, would the entire network implode?

Lisa de Moraes: Yes, let's get that show going on CW...

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Rumor has it: Britney wants a sitcom. What would be a good premise?

Lisa de Moraes: Head of a movie studio and hilarity ensues? Head of the FCC and hilarity ensues? First Lady and hilarity ensues? Singing nun and hilarity ensues? I can't stop...

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From the Final Frontier: Pookeleh, how sad/funny is it that the late composer of the immortal "Star Trek" theme, Alexander Courage (who died a couple of weeks ago), was appalled by what "Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry did with his composition? That ear-splitting female screech, and those appalling lyrics (which in the entire history of the "Star Trek" franchise have been publicly sung only by poor Nichelle Nichols, Lt. Uhura, on her cringe-worthy debut/swan song LP), were both the additions of the tin-eared Roddenberry. What's worse, those additions entitled Roddenberry to 50 percent of the royalties for the theme! Maybe you could start earning royalties by making up horrendous lyrics for the theme songs of any shows that still have theme songs (if there are any left)?

Lisa de Moraes: Don't most TV show theme songs come with lyrics? My fave is the one for "Big Bang Theory" these days..

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Louisville, Ky.: And Bobby Ewing didn't really die either...

Lisa de Moraes: Stop, you're ruining my childhood!

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Best TV of the last week: was Larry King hosting all of the Idols and Idolettes. Larry clearly had never seen the show and had no clue about anything -- as usual. How much longer are they going to keep that man on TV? It is amusing, but sad at the same time.

Lisa de Moraes: So long as he keeps doing the network's biggest numbers...

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Frederick, Md.: Is "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" returning for another season?

Lisa de Moraes: Yes, it starts shooting June 4.

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Wisteria Lame: Lisa, were you as nonplussed about the season close on "Desperate Housewives" as my friends and I? How did ABC manage to muck up this franchise so bad? Will it be back next year? Wait, don't answer that -- frankly I don't care and I won't be watching.

Lisa de Moraes: I think they wanted to really shake things up with the finale, and they did. People seem to either love it or hate it. Not much in between..

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Gak!: Last night, one of the auditioners on "Last Comic Standing" said he felt that the show was this generation's "Tonight Show with Johnny Carson"! Care to comment?

Lisa de Moraes: NBC ought to be ashamed of itself for not telling the producer to edit out that line. Oh wait: shame, NBC? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

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Virginia: Now that most shows have ended for the season, and given the way the writer's strike interrupted story arcs, what's your vote for this season's best comedy and drama?

Lisa de Moraes: It's not really fair to rank this season's shows, given that so many of them got so messed up by the strike on the broadcast networks; they stick to a pretty regular schedule, while many cable shows were not affected because they tend to start shows hither and thither...

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Sock it to me, Pookie: Pooks, now that Dick Martin (of "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In") has died, would you care to opine about the influence (if any) that "Laugh-In" had on today's comedy shows?

washingtonpost.com: Dick Martin, 86; Madcap Comedian and Co-Host of 'Laugh-In' (AP, May 27)

Lisa de Moraes: I wish it did have influence. I wish more writers on today's comedy shows were watching old Laugh in episodes...

I'm sorry, I have to bail early today. Bye...

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