Celebritology Live: Post Mike Rowe Bliss; Boxed Libations; Emmy Noms

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Liz Kelly
washingtonpost.com Celebritology Blogger
Thursday, July 17, 2008; 2:00 PM

When stars shave their heads, couch-jump, spend countless minutes in jail, commit a fashion faux pas and/or other random acts of ego-inspired inanity, washingtonpost.com Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly is on the job. Every weekday, Liz shares the buzz, offers perspective and provides crucial links to juicy alternate news sources and, of course, takes your reaction in her daily blog.

Join Liz LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

In her pre-celeb obsessed days (as if!), Liz ran washingtonpost.com's Discussions section, where she enjoyed talking to really interesting people -- sometimes even Post reporters -- on the phone. She still produces Pulitzer-prize winner Gene Weingarten's weekly Chatological Humor discussion.

Celebritology Live Archive

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Liz Kelly: Afternoon. I'm a bit flustered, but will try to put aside my peevishness and enjoy -- as ever -- my favorite hour of the week.

A couple of heads-up: First, I may suddenly disappear as I've got mold remediation specialists toiling away in my basement and they may need me to, like, inspect a nasty bit of growth or something.

Second, no regularly scheduled chat next week because, along with Jen Chaney, I'll be covering Comic-Con 2008. Expect lots of blog items -- written, multimedia and everything in between from San Diego. We've already got scads of interviews lined up and plan to be on hand for the always-important "Lost" panel. And we will be chatting live from Comic-Con next Friday morning at 11 a.m. ET.

Okay, let's get started...

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Scary Skinny Actresses! - Cleveland Park, D.C.: When will the madness end? I thought Helen Mirren's bikini shots were hot for a woman OF ANY ANGE! Eat a burger Anne!

Megan Fox vs. Anne Holloway (Defamer)

Liz Kelly: Well, if you think that's scary, look at Barry Manilow.

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New England: Liz! Do you have any idea what happened to Ashton Kucher's latest venture -- the show in which he set up paparazzi to photograph stars doing crazy stuff just to start false rumors?

I was really looking forward to the episode when it was revealed that the whole Rumer Willis-is-an-actress thing is just a stunt.

Liz Kelly: Good question. Ashton has definitely been laying low of late.

The show -- "Pop Fiction" -- aired three times on E! in the spring before evaporating into the ether, though I can't find any references to the show's cancellation. I'm going to guess that the three initial episodes were a test drive and E! and Ashton are regrouping before deciding how to continue.

Earlier this week when we heard about the sad break up of Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel's five-year relationship, there was some buzz (hopes) that it was only a stunt for Ashton's show. Sadly the break up seems to be the real deal.

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Liz Kelly: Oh, and re: Anne Hathaway's new slimdown, I did see some reports that she's dropped a considerable amount since her break up with Raffaello Follieri. I'd buy that -- it's not unheard of for someone to lose her (or his) appetite when going through a traumatic patch.

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RE: Mike Rowe Interview: How long did you speak with our Celebritology crush Mike Rowe? It seems like he certainly puts forth an incredible amount of well thought out information so I can't imagine a phone conversation of less than an hour.

Liz Kelly: It was the better part of an hour and I think he would have kept going, but I cut him off (the horror!) when I thought we had gotten through what I was hoping to, umm, get through.

He was incredibly gracious -- as you'd expect. This guy is definitely not a prima donna and he seemed truly humbled by his experiences.

A lot of people in his position would take the money and run. I'm sure he's got a nice contract and he's making money on the rubber chicken circuit, but he's also trying to do his part to rehabilitate the image of the working stiff. He's good people.

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byool, IN: Flustered? Pourquoi?

Is one of the "mold remediation specialists toiling away in my basement" Mike Rowe?

Liz Kelly: Don't think that connection didn't cross my mind. Mike would be right at home in my toxic, damp basement.

The fluster is passing off. It's just been a busy day and a few things are not working out as smoothly as I'd hoped. I hate when that happens. It can only lead to one thing. Me and a box of wine.

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Pets!: I know this is a celeb chat and while I'm normally down for that topic (okay, mildly obsessed), I have other issues on the top of my mind: My husband and I are trying to adopt a dog. I know you're a huge pet lover, as are most of your chatters, so I hope someone can help. What's the secret to getting your application approved by a rescue group? We have everything in line, from vets ready and training ready to be booked to feeding and walking schedules (I work a mile from home) ready to be in place. We've both raised rescue dogs with our families and are ready for one of our own. Yet our application, even submitted with pictures of our yard, neighborhood and nearby (dog) parks has been denied.

We just want a dog we can love and spoil like crazy. Are these groups on a power trip or is there something we are missing? (One told us, verbatim: No dog could possibly have a life in Baltimore.)

Liz Kelly: Wait -- are the rescue groups in question not telling you what the problem is with your application? Tell me more...

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Sluttiest guy?: Jude Law or Lance Armstrong? (persons carrying the "sexiest man" honor to its nadir)

Liz Kelly: Hmmm, that's a good question. They both seem to be doing their parts to earn the title on opposite sides of the Atlantic. But I might have to go with Jude -- after all, he (like Ethan Hawke) went after the nanny and was recently rumored to be dating 20-year-old model Lily Cole.

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Kansas City, Mo: Do you think Sarah Silvermen's star will fade now that Kimmel and her are no longer dating?

Liz Kelly: No, I don't see that happening. Sarah's a big star -- as comedians go -- in her own right.

Jimmy's might fade, though.

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San Diego, Calif.: What's with the hating on Sarah Jessica Parker's looks? Super-sexist Maxim is obviously trying to cover their tracks, but personally I find it refreshing to see a smart, talented actress who ISN'T surgeried into some cookie-cutter Stepford look. There are other unique-looking actors (Tilda Swinton, Angelina Jolie) who aren't torn apart in the media for something as ridiculous as a mole or a long face.

Liz Kelly: Carm down! We've been down this road before. If you want the rehash, google this chat and "pretty almost ugly" or something like that -- I can't remember the exact phrase, but trust me, we've talked this out ad infinitum.

To recap my view: I think she's lovely -- seriously, she's one of my faves and applaud her non-conformity. She's got beauty, style, talent and seems like a genuinely nice person. What more could you ask for?

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The Sexiest Man Alive Is...: Mike Rowe! Can we start a petition to send to People magazine? Heck, I know a ton of men that would sign it. Even straight guys.

Liz Kelly: Seriously -- I'm not sure I can think of anyone who is more universally appealing. He is equally liked by men, women, gay, straight, young, old.

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Tell me more...: Hax and her philes are gonna come after you for trademark infringement.

Liz Kelly: I thought Hax's hook was "Tell me about it." Is she now cornering "Tell me more," too?

How about:

"And......?" while I make suggestive eyebrow movements?

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New York, N.Y.: Liz: It may interest you to know a few seasons back Jude Law did a full frontal nude scene on Broadway as Kathleen Turner's son in Indescretions -- it must have been cold up there is all I can say.

Liz Kelly: Thanks for sharing.

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byool, IN, a box of wine, and thou.: The Lovely Mrs. byoolin's friend Henry says that the best thing/trouble with a box of wine is that you can't tell how much you've had to drink.

Liz Kelly: Sure you can -- one box, two boxes, three blox....

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Speaking of boxes of, wine: I saw an ad in a magazine for boxes of martinis and then promptly threw the magazine away. A Google search reveals nothing. Now I'm thinking it was my sun and mimosa-addled brain on the beach that made the whole thing up. Have you heard of such a thing?

Liz Kelly: I haven't. Anyone else out there know something about margaritas in a box?

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Just a word of advice...: I think wine in a bottle is a little better -- the box stuff comes from Australia or something.

Liz Kelly: (Psst -- personal to you: I'm just kidding about the whole wine-in-a-box thing.)

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Sasquatch: Mike Rowe is one of The Few, The Not Proud Celebrities whom the Lizards cannot snark. Perhaps a good Friday Short List would be to name others.

Paul Newman comes to mind as a member of the No Snark List.

Liz Kelly: That is a fabulous idea. A raise my box of wine in your general direction. Stay tuned for this tomorrow.

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Nosy Parker: Article II, Section 1 of the U.S. Constitution states in relevant part:

"No person except a natural born Citizen...shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have...been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States."

Does this mean that when each member of the Brangelina brood reaches 35, he or she will never be eligible to be POTUS, owing to being foreign-born and not having lived long enough within the U.S.?

Liz Kelly: Well, by the time Maddox and the rest of the gang are ready to run for the highest office in the land we'll have already changed the Constitution to allow for President Schwarzenegger's ascension.

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Michael J. Fox: Any updates on his medical condition? Some of the reports that he signed to appear on several episodes of Rescue Me said that he would be in a wheelchair. Wondering if this is for the role or for real.

Liz Kelly: No specific information has been released about his Parkinson's, no. His "Rescue Me" character will indeed be in a wheelchair -- whether that's just part of the character or something necessitated by his condition, I couldn't tell you.

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List question: Since Anne Hathaway has moved up near the top of my "List," I was wondering what my best strategy is for luring her to knock on my kitchen door so I can run away with her. Apparently food is not going to do the trick, or do you think she will bounce back and be hungry again soon?

Please don't lose too much weight Anne, I'm here for you!

Liz Kelly: Three words: Box of wine.

Wait, four words:

Box of Italian wine.

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McLean, Va.: The Andy Dick report really bugs me. I mean, I thought he was doing better. He's such a unique talent, but man, such issues.

Liz Kelly: I know. I have to admit I was really saddened to see that report. Well, I was saddened until I got a load of his mug shot and became more "weirded out" than anything else.

I interviewed Andy last year -- remember, everyone complained and hated the fact that a main post was devoted to Andy? -- and found him to be a nice enough guy. He is precocious, with creativity to spare but -- like many of us -- wrestles with some demons. Right now, the demons are winning.

Also, I'd just like to go on record right now as saying that Andy the cat is not named after Andy Dick.

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Boston, Mass.: Cocktails in a box! Yes, I saw that ad in this month's Cosmo. It exists, and they're pre-mixed (read: portable). There's still a month and a half of summer left...

Liz Kelly: Thank you. Sounds like just the thing to amp up enjoyment at the local rooster fights.

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SJP: When I was a teen-aged boy, Sarah Jessica Parker was on Square Pegs and I can safely say I would have run away from home for her. She was a very important part of my "maturation process" and I will gladly take on any one who slanders her looks.

I will say that I preferred her more natural and tom-boyish look to the over made up look she often has now. But those memories will never go away.

Liz Kelly: Thanks for writing.

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San Francisco, Calif.: My husband shared an elevator with Mike Rowe a month or so back. There's a voice-over studio in the building, so I guess he was doing some work. Unfortunately, my husband gets embarrassed when I take pictures of celebrities, so there's not much chance of getting him to ask a question or two if it ever happens again.

Will you venture outside of the Gaslamp area during Comic-Con? I highly recommend it. When we lived there, we referred to that area as the a$$lamp.

Liz Kelly: Dude -- I don't know if we'll even have time to leave the convention center. This thing is jam-packed from 9 a.m. through midnight each day. Not to mention the parties.

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Andy the cat is not named after Andy Dick: In a very loose sense, Andy the one doesn't have Andy the other, right?

Liz Kelly: Yes, that is factually correct.

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Crushes: Liz,

I'm in heaven. I love Mike Rowe and want to be Helen Mirren. Thank you for this week. (btw, I'm 30 and want to be Helen Mirren. I know that's weird)

Liz Kelly: You're welcome! Let's hope it continues apace.

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North McLean, Va.: Not endorsing this product, but you gotta love the concept.

Margarita

Liz Kelly: Shudder.

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Sasquatch: Rooster fights?

Liz, I thought you lived in snooty North Arlington (W and L territory), not the South Arlington barrios (Wakefield territory).

Liz Kelly: I was, of course, referring to the rooster fights that take place near my family's mountain retreat near Woodstock, Va.

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Serious question: How does a professional Celebritologist like yourself differentiate between celebrities who have genuine problems (physical? mental?) deserving of our sympathy, and the merely whack-doodles who ought to know better?

Liz Kelly: It's not really an either/or distinction, but more of a continuum.

Let's take, for example, Britney Spears. She went from spectacle -- hanging out with Paris Hilton, partying way too much -- to full on mental case in only a few months time. The tone of reportage about her changed universally as she became more obviously unhinged.

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Madison, Wisc.: Hey Liz,

I was pretty surprised at your post the other day expressing shock and incredulity that someone might think that stars hook up more than the average Joe. I actually thought that was pretty commonly believed, but maybe I too am hopelessly naive. Have you changed your position at all?

Liz Kelly: I want to answer your question and anticipated some flak about that piece. Truth be told, I haven't yet gone through and read the comments and I'd rather not re-open debate until I do. My bad, but stay tuned.

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Assistance: May we offer some expensive chocolates, and a luxurious bubble bath to go with the box o' wine? Your minions are concerned about you.

Liz Kelly: Awww, that's sweet. I'm fine, tho. No worries. A few Newman-Os actually did the trick.

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Cat Chat !: Ben Franklin famously said, " All cats are grey in the dark " but I think he was talking about something else. Andy is really cute by the way and looks like two of my male cats -- Buddy who has one eye that looks sideways and Tigger who likes to walk around making horrible scary noises at 4 a.m.

Liz Kelly: Speaking of Andy -- who my pal Kim is now calling "Calamity Andy," he was stung by a wasp this morning.

Let this be a lesson to all of you: never try to pick up a wasp in your mouth.

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Emmys?: Thoughts on the Emmy nominations? I was upset that Jack and Kate from Lost didn't get nominations. Nor Dina Lohan from her "awsum" reality show.

Liz Kelly: Dina just can't get a break, eh?

I think Lisa de Moraes did a bang up job of putting the noms in perspective. It really is a cable year, it seems. It is definitely wrong that Howie Mandel garnered a nom, and not Mike Rowe or Bret Michaels.

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Pets again: Sadly, no. The 3 groups we contacted regarding our applications have not provided reasons for the decline. If they had, I'd be a little more understanding, although still disappointed.

The ironic thing is that the neighborhood joke was that our house was Mecca for dogs. Every dog on the block came to our house daily and many stayed the night after their owners couldn't get them to budge.

I really miss hearing the excited clink of a dog tag on a collar.

Liz Kelly: How odd. I really would try to get in touch and find out what the show-stopper was for those three groups. After all, maybe it's something you could easily remedy.

We've had nothing but good experiences with the Animal Welfare League of Arlington. And you don't have to live in Arlington to adopt here.

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San Diego Matey: Liz, if you get out of the Convention Center and go up the sea walk a ways, one of the attractions you'll find is a pirate ship. I think that you and Jen should hang out with the pirates for a little while and send us a picture postcard. Argh!!

Liz Kelly: Yarrrr, sounds like a fine idea.

I'm actually reading a book right now called "Two Years Before the Mast" about one man's experiences on a merchant ship off the coast of California in the early 19th century. So I might actually take your suggestion more seriously than the spirit in which it was intended.

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Beltsville: Liz:

Today's Morning Mix is a gift-wrapped present to the casting director of Celebrity Rehab:

"Andy Dick: Check. Ron Wood: Check. Brian Bonsall: Check. Hold all my calls, I'm off to Malibu."

He/she should give you a commission.

Liz Kelly: Good point. I hope Dr. Drew is keeping up.

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New Orleans, La..: The Museum of the American Cocktail opens here Monday at 10:30 a.m. Do you think there will be any celebrities? Will you be here?

Liz Kelly: Hello, where's my invite and comped plane ticket?

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Ben Franklin famously said, " All cats are grey in the dark ": Mister Franklin obviously never had to try looking for a black cat in the dark.

Liz Kelly: You said it, buddy.

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Cherry Hill, N.J.: You said a few weeks ago that you hated attitude t's for little kids, then cited a Little Miss Sunshine shirt. I have a super giggly 2-year-old who loves her Little Miss Giggles shirt. Why are these bad? I get why "High Maintenance" is bad, but Little Miss Sunshine escapes me. Can you help?

Liz Kelly: No, no -- I don't hate them for kids. I hate them for pretty much everyone. I'm just not a big fan of the message tee.

If you're going to wear a decorated t-shirt, do like me and wear a Run DMC "Raising Hell" era shirt, like I did all day yesterday.

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Another good animal tip: Don't sniff a porcupine.

Liz Kelly: Right. You can't hear that one too many times.

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Boxed Drinks: On a very late-night trip through Virginia last weekend, I saw boxed drinks at a gas station. Apparently the mix to alcohol ratio is such that the boxed drinks can be sold outside of liquor stores. An important niche in some states, maybe.

Liz Kelly: I'm guessing the box is just a new marketing spin on the same idea that brought us Smirnoff Ice and the like.

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Will you and Mr. Liz be going to see this in Colorado?: "The Church of Celebritology's Revival, a musical!" Celebritology brings the light. And a musical! (Telluride Daily Planet)

Liz Kelly: Dude -- I interviewed that guy a few years back.

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Somewhere near Dupont Circle: Is it wrong that, this entire week, I have wished beyond all wishes for my hubby to be more like I imagine Mike Rowe -- to be. OK, even to be him? I know intellectually that Mike probably leaves his gross socks laying around, but I fantasize he would not stand in the doorway to the kitchen as I unload the dishwasher, then load it back up with baby bottles, etc., and say "You work too hard" without lifting a finger to help. And I love my hubby -- even if it takes hard-flung bottle (baby variety) to his head to make him see the light.

As a good friend's mom always tells her husband of 30 years..."I'll do that with my second husband" hehehe.

Liz Kelly: Awww, someone needs a hug and a swig from the box of wine.

No, it is not wrong that you think that. I think we've all fantasized at various times about an ideal partner. Hell, I think we've all fantasized about Mike Rowe. But, and I'm channeling Hax here -- and probably badly -- you need to talk to your hubby. While imagining a better life with the thoughtful, and hot, Mike Rowe may make you feel better for a few minutes it is actually talking out the issue with your husband that can make a lasting change.

In short, tell him to get his rear in gear and make with some cleaning up.

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Lexington, Ky.: Boy, it's exciting here today -- fire with explosions downtown and a rabid bat in the park! And people say nothing ever happens here. Just thought you'd want to know.

Liz Kelly: And last night we heard a full on fireworks show going on somewhere near the Potomac. Anyone have any idea what that was all about?

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I know "Lost" is a taboo subject around these parts but...: I'm dying for season 5! Is there any good spoiler info that you know about? And to keep it Celebritology: What's up with Madge and Guy? I thought they would be divorced already this time last week.

Liz Kelly: Stay tuned -- Jen and I hope to bring you plenty of "Lost" revelations from next week's Comic-Con panel in San Diego.

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Inquiring Minds: Since we're going to be treated to Rock of Love 3 (aka "Skanques on a Bus"), we need to get on the good side of a producer or someone there so we can get some inside info. Anyone know of a mole?

Liz Kelly: Dude -- I'm SO going after Bret for an interview.

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Washington, D.C.: Ha! I don't think I've ever heard of a cat getting stung by an insect. You make me feel much better about my own sweet, afflicted feline. He's so dumb that he falls off the couch which stretching. I guess he forgets that he's not on the floor... We call him "Special Ed." (And then Crank Yankers came and took it and now it's not as funny any more. Poo.)

Liz Kelly: Awww, poor kitty. Andy's done that before. Then he gets mad and acts like I pushed him off the bed and jumps back up and attacks me. I (heart) him.

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Leggings : Speaking of the Lohans, did you get your own pair of Lindsay's knee-padded leggings? Am I crazy, but is there any other purpose for the "knee-pads" or are those of us on Celebritology Island missing something?

Liz Kelly: I think it was LL's lame attempt at a little ribald humor.

Here's the larger question: Is anyone still wearing leggings?!

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Anonymous: Liz : I love when you get all crazy and change your font like that !

Liz Kelly: Rocci the producer told me and has remedied the problem.

This is what happens when you use backend chat software developed in 1997 and rely on your chat talent to insert raw html coding. It's a recipe for disaster, I tell you.

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Richmond, Va.: Important vocabulary question: I see "whack" used a lot as an all-purpose celebrity prefix, as in "whack-doodle," "whack-job", etc. Is this supposed to imply "wackyness" as in nutty, kooky, unpredictable, lunatic, crazy; or are these celebrities actually assasins who like to whack other people? Please advise.

Liz Kelly: Former, though the latter is fun to comtemplate.

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Liz Kelly: Dude -- I interviewed that guy a few years back: Carm down, Liz! Some of us are new here.

Liz Kelly: Right! I wasn't harshing on anyone, just eager to share my previous brush with the Church of Celebritology.

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We should re-name the chat MikeRowe-ology: I'm not married, so is it okay for me to hunt Mike Rowe down and make him mine forever?

Liz Kelly: Great, my chat has become some kind of hang out for Mike Rowe stalkers. Do you guys do this to Howard Kurtz, too -- obsess over Wolf Blitzer or something in his chat?

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Mens Wear Dept, Tysons Corner: "Is anyone still wearing leggings?!"

Nope. Not even here in the Land That Fashion Forgot.

Liz Kelly: See. So I'm thinking LL will not be making major bank off her teensy line o' leggings.

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Anonymous: Richard Henry Dana's grandson, also named Richard Henry Dana, became a famous radio show writer and taught English in Connecticut. I have no idea if he is still alive, but he might be interesting to track down if he still is alive. His daughter married Alan Arkin so Adam Arkin would be his grandson, so (and this requires too much Math), Adam Arkin would be the grea, great grandson of the man whose book you are reading.

Liz Kelly: Wow, very interesting. Thanks for the background.

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Washington, D.C.: I do not think SJP is attractive. It is not a character flaw of me to feel that way anymore then it is a flaw for her to look the way she does. Just an opinion, no big whup. I am quite concerned about the beautiful Ms. Hathaway's weight loss, please don't do it!

Liz Kelly: Right -- I think what the original poster was talking about up above was Maxim's insistence on making an issue out of SJP's looks, by first labeling her as "Unsexiest Woman Alive" and now as "Unlikeliest Crush" or somesuch.

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Message Ts: I don't like 'em either, but I got a tiny giggle out of the one I saw in the Metro the other day. It said "Ask me about my vow of silence."

Liz Kelly: Okay, that's good.

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M St, NW: Dear Liz -- Robin Givhan backs you up on the pleated pants! It is now no longer opinion, it has been passed into law.

Random: What is your opinion on pleated pants?

Robin Givhan: unless your name is MC Hammer, just say no.

Liz Kelly: Dude, not only Robin, but Mike Rowe himself gave us the final word on pleats:

Always flat front. You've got to be deeply suspicious of a man who consciously goes with pleats. Why would you do that? You know what -- if I were to wear pleats I would just go ahead and buy the spats, the ascot, the vest, the tophat and -- yeah -- I guess I'd just walk around town swilling champagne out of a bottle and that would be the end of me.

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MIKE, Rowe: Hi Liz -- Re Mike Rowe: Great interview with one of my secret pretend boyfriends.

I found myself sputtering at the end: But...but...but....is he single? Tx!

Liz Kelly: Ya know, we had so many other interesting things to talk about that I didn't even broach the subject of his love life.

That's an even-handed way of saying I failed you.

I did do some snooping around, though, and it seems Mike keeps his personal life somewhat personal. Good for him.

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Liz Kelly! : You neglected to mention critical details in your interview with Mr. Mike Rowe. For instance, did he purr your name? Did he flirt with you? Did you blush? Do you now have a picture of him, shirtless, anywhere in your vicinity, including under your pillow.

Otherwise, a fine effort.

So, when can we expect him to host a chat at WaPo?

Liz Kelly: The interview was via phone, so no blushing and if he was flirting. No shirtless pix. And I'm going to work on getting him to chat directly with you guys this fall.

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Union Station, D.C.: Hi Liz -- The Fireworks were a part of the Centennial Celebration for the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated. They went off at 10:08 p.m. I hope that helps!

Liz Kelly: That's it, thank you! Go AKA!

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"Is anyone still wearing leggings?!" : Only as long as they're flat-front, not with pleats.

Liz Kelly: Touche.

On that note, I'll sign off. See you in the blog tomorrow and next week at a special time -- Friday at 11 a.m. ET for the live Comic-Con chat.

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