Washington Sketch

Post columnist Dana Milbank serves as the capital's foremost critic of political theater in his Washington Sketch columns and videos. He was online live from the Republican National Convention (the second half of politics' Tony Awards) on Thursday, Aug. 28 at 1 p.m. ET to take your questions and comments about the things politicians say -- and the absurd ways they find to say them.

A transcript follows.

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Dana Milbank: Welcome to today's edition of Ask the Media Elite.

We media elitists have been taking it on the chin at the Republican convention this week.

"I've learned quickly these last few days that, if you're not a member in good standing of the Washington elite, then some in the media consider a candidate unqualified for that reason alone," Sarah Palin said last night to audience boos. "But -- now, here's a little newsflash. Here's a little newsflash for those reporters and commentators: I'm not going to Washington to seek their good opinion. I'm going to Washington to serve the people of this great country."

Rudy Giuliani had a similar thought: "We, the people, the citizens of the United States, get to decide our next president, not the left-wing media, not Hollywood celebrities, not anyone else but the people of America."

"USA! USA! USA!" responded the crowd.

"That's right, USA," said Rudy.

There was also gazillionaire Mitt Romney, who complained: "You see, Washington has been looking to the eastern elites, to the editorial pages of the Times and the Post, and to the broadcasters from the -- from the coast."

At least the media elites still have Mike Huckabee. "I'd like to thank the elite media for doing something that, quite frankly, I wasn't sure could be done, and that's unifying the Republican Party and all of America in support of Senator McCain and Governor Palin," he said last night.

I'm now in Minneapolis outside the Xcel center, fielding questions while dining on wild salmon and other foods of the media elite along with video journalist Akira Hakuta, an Ivy League elitist himself.

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Dallas: Dana, who were the two Republican commentators on MSNBC caught speaking against Palin's experience on an open mic? Hey, you're CNN now -- you can tell us!

Dana Milbank:

It's no secret. Here's what the Post had about it today:

'THIS IS CYNICAL'

Noonan, Ex-McCain Aide Heard Blasting Palin Pick

Prominent conservative columnist Peggy Noonan and former John McCain campaign manager Michael Murphy made disparaging comments Wednesday about the Republican's choice of Sarah Palin as his running mate, after a segment that aired on NBC with Chuck Todd. Thinking that the microphone had been turned off -- or, perhaps, that the video signal had stopped transmitting -- Noonan and Murphy ripped into Palin as someone who would weigh down the GOP ticket.

"It's over," said Noonan.

In an addendum to her online column in the Wall Street Journal, Noonan wrote later Wednesday that part of her conversation was not on the audio. She said what she meant by it being "over" was not the race, but rather the perception by the Republican Party that its base is in tune with the American people.

Asked if Palin is the most qualified Republican woman to be McCain's running mate, Noonan replied: "The most qualified? No. I think they went for this, excuse me, political bullshit about narratives and [inaudible] the picture."

Later, she continued: "Every time the Republicans do that, because that's not where they live and it's not what they're good at, and they blow it."

Added Murphy: "You know what's really the worst thing about it? The greatness of McCain is no cynicism, and this is cynical."

In her Wall Street Journal column Wednesday, Noonan was more circumspect in writing about Palin. In her online addition, she also apologized for what she called her "barnyard epithet."

"The Sarah Palin choice is really going to work, or really not going to work," she wrote. "It's not going to be a little successful or a little not; it's not going to be a wash. She is either going to be magic or one of history's accidents. She is either going to be brilliant and groundbreaking, or will soon be the target of unattributed quotes by bitter staffers shifting blame in all the Making of the President 2008 books. Of which there should be plenty, as we've never had a year like this, with the fabulous freak of a campaign."

-- Jose Antonio Vargas

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Silver Spring, Md.: Dana, I realized who Ms. Palin reminds me of -- Dolores Umbridge from the Harry Potter books. They're both sickly sweet, with venom and malice underneath. I hope, though, that Ms. Palin ends up like Ms. Umbridge did.

washingtonpost.com: From Wikipedia: "Following Voldemort's demise and the de-corruption of the Ministry, Umbridge is arrested, interrogated, put on trial, and imprisoned for her crimes against Muggle-borns."

Dana Milbank:

I was with my brother in New York this week and he was wearing a T-shirt that said "Republicans for Voldemort."

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Minneapolis: Dana, the Xcel Center is in St. Paul, not Minneapolis. You're East of the river, friendo. Why can't you ivy-league journalists get it right?

Dana Milbank:

Quite right. I have that New Yorker view of the world, from the old cartoon. I am, in fact, in St. Paul, a beautiful city on the Rio Grande.

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Baltimore: Dana, please tell us how dysfunctional it really is over at MSNBC!

Dana Milbank:

My colleague Howie Kurtz took care of that:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/01/AR2008090100704.html

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Minneapolis: Hi Dana. I've been waiting all week for your sketch on the Larry Craig Memorial Airport Restroom. Did the plug get pulled on this?

Dana Milbank: That was the plan but then Akira, the elite video guy, got arrested and it took us a while to post bail.

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A Washington Sketch: Is it just me, or did Gov. Palin come across as a pretty, female version of Rush Limbaugh?

Dana Milbank:

I take issue with the suggestion that Rush Limbaugh is not pretty.

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washingtonpost.com: MSNBC's Family Feud (Post, Sept. 1)

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Claverack, N.Y.: Are you going to watch the Obama/O'Reilly interview? I thought this would be a "big deal," but it seems like it's being soft-pedaled.

Dana Milbank: I expect I will because it seems most of the TVs in the Xcel center are tuned to Fox. Here at the CNN grill, we're facing a giant Fox TV screen from the Fox tent kitty-corner across Kellogg Boulevard. In St. Paul, which is a charming town here in Wisconsin.

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Chattanooga, Tenn.: No columns since Monday? I'm Jonesing! What happened, did you get stuck in the men's bathroom at the airport? Have you been hanging out with the local greengrocer?

Dana Milbank:

My home was flooded by Hurricane Bristol.

Actually, a family emergency called me back to New York. But I am here today with other lipstick wearing pitbulls.

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San Francisco: Only independent media seems to cover police actions in St. Paul, Minn. this week -- journalists like Amy Goodman have been arrested, an AP photographer was tear-gassed, and lawyers/observers have been beaten. How much has to happen outside the Xcel Energy Center for the mainstream to cover what's really happening on the streets in Minnesota?

Dana Milbank: With other members of the media elite, I was sipping a latte at the time. And Akira, Columbia '06, was worried about soiling his white bucks. (Actually, we did have a goodly amount of coverage of the protests, but Monday's big event wasn't as impressive as expected because Gustav bumped Bush and Cheney.)

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Boston: From watching the GOP on TV, I have one key question: Are there any Republicans under 60?

Dana Milbank: There is only one Republican under 60, and that is Sarah Palin.

My elite colleague Eli Saslow reports the following: "Only 36 of the 2,380 delegates seated on the convention floor are black, the lowest number since the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies began tracking diversity at political conventions 40 years ago."

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Hogwart's:"I was with my brother in New York this week and he was wearing a T-shirt that said 'Republicans for Voldemort.' " Well, la di da. Aren't you just the elitist family. You, an entrenched member of the liberal elitist media ... and he, a reader of fine literature. I don't read anything, not even the instructions for the riding lawn mowers, power tools or guns that I love so much. Reading hurts my brain and instructions are for liberals who don't know how to do real work.

Dana Milbank: Akira is aghast. He is having trouble digesting his truffles.

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Virginia: Akira was arrested? Why? Was he filming the protests and got caught up in the police crackdown? That sounds like a fabulous story, so do tell.

Dana Milbank:

He said he has a wide stance and was tapping his foot to the beat of his iPod.

(Note to Mr. Hakuta: I am just kidding. He was not arrested. They immediately recognized him as a member of the Eastern media elite and released him.)

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St. Paul, Minn: Dana, is anyone going to take the opportunity to comment on the strange grooming activities Piper Palin was using on Trig Palin last night during the speech?

Dana Milbank:

That was certainly my favorite part. Lipstick on the pitbulls and saliva for hair gel.

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Minneapolis: Have the media elite held their referendum yet on whether or not -- based on the comments in St. Paul, Minn., this week -- John McCain should give back the donuts the media elite gave him a while back?

Dana Milbank:

Mostly he gave us donuts rather than the other way around. But they were Dunkin Donuts, which are not up to the standard of the media elite. Had they been scones from Starbucks, or from Caribou Coffee right here in Wyoming, he might have enjoyed a more enduring friendship with the press.

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Arlington, Va.: The Republicans seem to be in preemptive defense mode. I saw a comical round of on-the-floor interviews with people like Orrin Hatch where his opening statement launched into a defense of why the left and the media should stop attacking Bristol's baby. Nobody asked or said a thing about it in the interview.

Dana Milbank: The plan for my video today, with the aforementioned Akira, is to wear a credential that says "Eastern Media Elite" on the floor and stick a microphone in the delegates' face to see if they have any messages for my colleagues and me.

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I am, in fact, in St. Paul, Minn., a beautiful city on the Rio Grande.: I'm surprised the GOP chose to have their convention there, considering all the illegals who must be crossing the river all the time. Did they put up any walls, temporary or otherwise? Or perhaps they just thought the Rio Grande would be a convenient backdrop for decrying illegal immigration while at the same time picking up a new lawn guy.

Dana Milbank:

It is an excellent point. Illegal Canadians are a great menace here.

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Washington: After demonstrating the ability to use prophylactics, do you really think your readers can trust you to cover Gov. Sarah Palin fairly and accurately?

Dana Milbank:

I think the fact that it took me 29 seconds to get the condom on the banana makes it clear that I do not believe in contraceptives, and therefore I, unique among the media elite, should be warmly embraced by Gov Palin and the others at this convention.

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Dana Milbank:

Thank you for tuning in to this chat. I have finished my wild-salmon and spinach salad and it is now time for me to join Alex Castellanos and other elites on the CNN set. Until next week, I leave you with this, the unofficial theme of the Republican convention:

USA! USA! USA!

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