Book World Live: Chelsea Handler, author of 'Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea'

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
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Chelsea Handler
Author and Comedian
Tuesday, September 16, 2008; 2:00 PM

Comedian Chelsea Handler, host of the E! late night talk show Chelsea Lately, will be online Tuesday, September 16 at 2 p.m. ET to discuss her best-selling book Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea.

The new book is a collection of essays based on her New Jersey childhood and entertainment career. Think Judy Blume meets David Sedaris, but blonde. She is also author of a memoir, My Horizontal Life.

A transcript follows.

Join Book World Live each Tuesday for a discussion based on a story or review in each Sunday's Book Worldor in the weekday Style Section.


Chelsea Handler: Hi everyone, thanks for being here. I'll do my best to answer all the questions I can.


Cincinnati, Ohio: Hi Chelsea, I just wanted to know where you came up with the title of your book?

Chelsea Handler: my publishers actually came up with the first title after bouncing about 150 different variations of it off each other.


Buffalo, NY: What was pageant life like around all the other pageant girls? I don't see you as the typical pageant personality.

Chelsea Handler: I was obviously in distress as a 15 yr old with raging hormones. Pageantry is not something I look back on fondly. Although, I had a blast. They told me I need to lose 15 pounds.


Tampa, FL: Hey Chelsea. Congrats on all your well-deserved success! I have a question: "Are you there, Chelsea? It's me, Heather, and I'm holding all your Grey Goose hostage until you pick me for your Round Table Contest!"

Chelsea Handler: sorry! we just picked a winner. he is gay. and his name isn't heather.


Columbia, MD: We're having our ladies' book club tonight. Each lady will be asked to read her favorite passage from your book to the group. Will you please tell me your favorite, funniest passage so I can tell the gals we're buddies and that you asked me to read your favorite passage, and that we are going out for Mojitos and cigars soon, right after we get matching tattoos of Hello Kitty?

Thanks, Lisa

Chelsea Handler: my favorite chapter is probably the first one, where i tell everyone i'll be co-starring with goldie hawn. also, anything with my father in chelsea in charge. he is a hot mess.


Moreno Valley, California: I love the way you dress, you have such a cute style. Where do you shop?

Chelsea Handler: i'm lucky enough to have a stylist who brings me tons of options for the show. a lot of marc jacobs, diane von furstenberg, cynthia vincent, elie tahari, christian louboutain shoes.


L.A.: Hey Chelsea, I just wanted to thank you for congratulating Kelby's marriage on the air.

What do you REALLY think of his pink hair?

Signed, Jeremy (Kelby's husband)

Chelsea Handler: kelby is a mess. and i love him for it. i'm a pretty big fan of anyone who is gay.


New York, N.Y.: What was your upbringing like and how did it shape you as a writer? Were your parents strict or were they "new wave" anti-spankers, and what led you to be able to put your thoughts onto such comprehensible books?

Chelsea Handler: my parents were the opposite of strict. they were ridiculously unaware. after enjoying such books by david sedaris and other essay writers, i thought, why not write my own.


Alexandria, VA: Did you get asked to write a book or did you write it and then have to go out and sell it to someone? It just seems like a difficult process.

Chelsea Handler: i wrote it and passed it along to an agent who sold it. i was incredibly lucky with the first one, and then was asked to write another after the success of the first. it's much easier to write one if you have a hook or platform to promote it.


NYC: Love you on your late night show. My husband thinks you're hysterical. Can you tell us a little about your new sitcom show with Megan Mullally? I can only imagine it will be successful, both of you are hilarious... Any plans on doing a comedy show in NY?

Chelsea Handler: i'll be playing carnegie hall on jan 23rd. they mis-reported my involvement with the abc show. i have not committed to that yet, and don't know if i will. don't have a ton of free time with my show.


Tampa Florida: Hey Chelsea!! What are some of your favorite bands/singers at the moment? Any booty music on your iPod?

I look forward to your show every night at 11:30. I even watch reruns and it never fails to make me pee a little.

xo Heather

Chelsea Handler: i'm loving sheryl crow, coldplay's new album, cake, and always love natasha bedingfield.



Chelsea Handler: he'll be in shortly!


Oran, Missouri: I have a feeling that you might not even like vodka, Grey Goose or otherwise.

Chelsea Handler: wrong! i love my goose. i would never promote anything i didn't like, and to boot, they don't even pay me to do it.


Los Angeles, CA: Has Tori Spelling ever contacted your people and requested you stop making fun of her so much? lol.

Chelsea Handler: nope. she probably tries to pretend it's not happening. we had the same book publisher and she mentioned to them that i call her a man.


Slamchester Ct: We just wanted to say that you are by far our favorite celebrity ever!! You are so funny because you are so honest. The other day you were talking about the woman who is living life according to Oprah and we would like you to know that we live life according to Chelsea. We speak our minds, we drink, we party and we always have a good time. Our next move is to adopt a lil nugget too!!

Thanks so much for being such an inspiration!!

Jackie & Kaitlin

Chelsea Handler: thanks so much. i really appreciate that!


Savannah, GA: Are you getting married soon? Are the monsters, oh I mean kids, coming soon?

Chelsea Handler: no, i don't think so. not in the mood yet.


Washington, D.C.: Chelsea - You are just riotously funny, and your sense of humor seems really unforced and organic. That seems to come through in your essays, which seem more conversational than "written." Can you share any insight into your creative process, and how writing a book might differ from, say, constructing a standup routine?

Chelsea Handler: i write like i talk. its best to do things that represent you and how you live your life, so i always make sure to only say thoughts that are on my mind. that helps. just being yourself.


Multi-Tasking: I am on an incredibly boring conference call at the moment, with my phone on mute to cover my making snarky comments about the people speaking. As a professional humorist, any suggestions on what I can do to liven things up?

Chelsea Handler: tell them you think sarah palin is incredibly qualified to be vice president.


Jessica, Kansas: How long have you known you were funny? Does your family find you funny?

Chelsea Handler: i'm glad you think i'm funny. my family is even funnier.


Hesperia, California: How long have you and Chuy been with each other, and can you get him a ugly little tiny dog (chihuahua) for the show? Women love little men and little dogs... LOL Love you both

Chelsea Handler: i don't think chuy likes dogs, but i will look into it!


Council Bluffs, Iowa: Is being a comedian and writing books what you have always wanted to do?

Chelsea Handler: no, actually. i had no idea i was going to do this. it happened by default, because i realized by being an actress, i would have to repeat other people's lines.


Tampa, FL: Chelsea, you are in great shape! Do you follow a work out routine?

Chelsea Handler: yes, high protein and working out a lot. a lot of cardio.


Woodland Hills, CA: Would you like a free tattoo or piercing?

Chelsea Handler: no thanks. i'm good.


Hartford, CT: Chelsea - I read your book. Nice work!

I was wondering if you have trouble now getting people to talk to you for fear of ending up in your next book. Do your friends like your nicknames for them?

Can't wait to catch your shows - I'm jealous of Chuy for having the best seat in the house!

Chelsea Handler: my friends are used to me. most of them are happy to be in the books, except of course dumb dumb. she doesn't speak to me.


Memphis, Tennessee: Charming, laugh out loud funny book. So you must feel some vindication after the success of the book--as you should, both in terms of working hard to get where you are, and in terms of your version of events getting to be The Version of events (how powerful!). How have your friends/family/Former Lovers reacted to your version being The Version with all of its sarcasm and exaggeration? (assuming sarcasm and exaggeration)

Chelsea Handler: most people are actually upset they didn't end up in the book. those are the calls i get. the people who are mentioned, are pretty used to it.


Columbia, Missouri: If you were ever offered to be roasted on Comedy Central would you do it?

Chelsea Handler: um, i would have to say yes. they ask me to be on roasts all the time, but i just don't feel like reaming more people than i already do.


Wasilla, Alaska: My family is one 5150 away from nirvana. Can you recommend a well brand vodka to get me through high school? Mom says Grey Goose is too fancy (and not good for the baby).

Chelsea Handler: start with stoli and work your way up. good luck


Buffalo, NY: Are you active in your Jewish background you mention quite a bit? Do you today have Mormon beliefs as well? What faith do you live by if any?

Chelsea Handler: i am not active in either, but consider myself jewish. i find that the jewish belief is the most tolerant of other beliefs. i also believe that too much organized religion is a bad thing.


ArmyBrat: Chelsea - I love your show. Can you please put more of Heather McDonald on your show? I love the interaction with you two. Also, you should make the "roundtable" a longer part of the show. Its the most hilarious part of it!

Chelsea Handler: she'll be on the show tonight as sarah palin! and chuy as the moose! stay tuned.


Speculator, New York: Now that you rely on industry guests for a segment, do you worry about going to far with the comedy? I love Kathy Griffin, too, and she's been open that it gets awkward. I would, for the record, LOVE to see you go to town in person on that ridiculous MTV "couple" who should not be named.

Chelsea Handler: which MTV couple? i can't think of who you are referring?


Spokane, WA: My husband is trying to get me on a Carnival Cruise... HELP! How do I talk him out of that **** hole?

Chelsea Handler: tell him you are not from mississippi


Bolingbrook, Illinois: I just wanted to tell Chelsea that she makes me laugh everyday. I have a very stress filled life (don't want to get into everything) but every night I put on her show and just laugh my ass off. Just continue doing what you do girl!!

Chelsea Handler: thank you very mucho!


Fairfax Farms, Va.: Will you marry me? I have a full-time job and I like dogs, long walks in the rain and teasing squirrels.

Chelsea Handler: thank you for the offer, but i'm not the marrying kind.


North Carolina: When are you going to do another dance class show? Your attempts to learn hip-hop was the funniest thing ever!!! How about some line-dancing next - I think that would be great!? Do you really not have rhythm or is that a part of your act???

Chelsea Handler: i really have absolutely no rhythm. unless of course, there are inordinate amounts of hallucinogenics


San Francisco, California: omg, I am such a fan! When will your comedy tour schedule bring you to the Bay Area?

Chelsea Handler: check my myspace. it's always listed there. i know i'm coming to sacramento soon!


Washington, DC: Hi Chelsea. I first saw you on that show, "Girls Behaving Badly." You were, and still are, funny, sexy and hot.

Can a brother get a date??

Chelsea Handler: thank you, but i live with my lover! he is not open to an open relationship.


Bethesda, MD: I loved your midget bowling segment which was on your show the other night. Did you have to sleep with Jimmy Walker to get him to the show? Dynomite!

Chelsea Handler: i sleep with jimmy walker every thursday just for s***s and giggles.


Arlington, VA: Hey Chelsea, love the show. Love Chuy's outfits - whoever does his wardrobe deserves a raise.

The current mess of a presidential campaign has me depressed. Will reading your book cheer me up?

Will reading your book with a bottle of Grey Goose cheer me up more?

Chelsea Handler: yes it will. and tonight on the show, we will be going off about the state of our country and that lunatic, sarah palin.


Virginia Beach, VA: I missed you last time you were performing in the area. I have turned a lot of my girlfriends onto you since then and we were wondering when you were coming back to the area.

Chelsea Handler: all my dates are published on my myspace page. i don't know them offhand. check and see


Sweetwater, Tx: Are you single, beautiful?

Chelsea Handler: no, sorry. i live with chuy


Billerica, Mass. : I just want to tell you that you are amazing! Your book kept me laughing nonstop, and I watch your show every night. I'm reading your other book, My Horizontal Life, right now, and it's hilarious too! Good luck with everything, you're my favorite!

Chelsea Handler: thank you and thank you for your support.


Philadelphia, PA.: I gather you are from Jersey and you drink vodka. So at what age did your parents let you start drinking vodka?

Chelsea Handler: they never really "let" me start drinking, but i became a big fan of vodka in my early twenties. other libations took up my late teens.


Romeoville, IL: Are you planning on writing another book? I read your last one in one day!

Chelsea Handler: wow! i wrote it in a day. yes, new book will come out in the spring of 2010


Pittsburgh. Pa.: If I ever had a panel of discussing the future of the 21st century, it would have you and Sarah Silverman on it. How you ever met Sarah Silverman and what do you think of her?

Chelsea Handler: yes. we have met a couple of times. she's very nice and hilarious.


Grand Blanc, Mich.: Chelsea!!!

I LOVE your book!!! I never read... and I read yours in less than 6 hours!

Now I sound like a loser with no life... but your book was just that good!

Keep 'em coming! Love you!!!


Chelsea Handler: thank you very much. my books are very stupid, and i appreciate your support.


Los Angeles, CA: If you could have any job, what would it be?

Chelsea Handler: the job i have now. it is so stupid and so much fun.


Lancaster, PA: Chelsea, are you going to write another book soon? After I read both of yours in a row I was jonesin' for another!!

Chelsea Handler: yes, it will come out in the spring of 2010.


Dallas, Tx: Chelsea, have you been asked to, or have you considered hosting something like an awards show like the MTV Awards or the Oscars?

Chelsea Handler: i have been asked to host some things, but nothing of that caliber. don't know if that's up my alley, because i feel like it would really stress me out.


Salem, Illinois!!: how old do you have to be to read this book?

Chelsea Handler:18


Marietta, Georgia: Do you find that since becoming "famous" and doing your show on E, that people expect you to be funny all of the time, and "perform" on cue even in your personal life? P.S. you're awesome!!


Chelsea Handler: thanks. i think people who are funny all the time are incredibly annoying, so i think it's much more interesting when you meet people to be normal and a real person.


Green Valley, Ariz.: I can't understand that cute nugget Chuy... Can you please use sub-titles on the CL Show when he is speaking in English and Spanish?

Chelsea Handler: i know. we are working on it. get a spanglish dictionary.


Working Girl, FL: Do you have any more respect for Lindsay Lohan now that she's gone gay and has also spoken out against that nut Sarah Palin?

Any chance I can snag a date with your little nugget?

Chelsea Handler: i am a fan of lindsay lohan now that she is a full-on gay. i think it's a great thing.


Syracuse, New York: LOVE the show. I think Janice Dickinson was right--you and your clothes are looking better and better! Looks like the Join the Roundtable contest didn't work out--did only the crazies apply? Is it weird that Chuy gets so much more applause than the roundtable folks? How is Chuy dealing with his fame? I wish you would have Heather on all the time. And really, you guys should do the show as Dina and Aliana just for fun . . .

Chelsea Handler: heather will be on the show tonight as sarah palin. chuy just came back from hawaii, so his life is good. roundtable winner will be on next week, i believe.


Philadelphia, PA: Will Chuy ever find love?

Chelsea Handler: i think he finds different love every other night. things are going very well for the nugget


Rockville, Md.: Hi,

A serious request please: can you please make the revolving skyline (?) of LA stagnate? It's very distracting and somewhat annoying. I quit watching your show because of it. I can't be the only one who thinks it's distracting. I want to be a viewer again.

PS - Great shoes on the book cover.


Chelsea Handler: sorry. that is the first we've heard of it being annoying. and believe me, i get a lot of complaints. i will look into it, but if you quit watching the show because of that, then i doubt you're a big fan in the first place.


Pinehurst, NC: Hi Chelsea, huge fan! Really wish I could meet you and hang out but I bet lots of people say that. To date, what has been your most awkward moment with a celeb you made fun of?

Chelsea Handler: dina lohan telling me she's a fan of the show. i thought, "really? can you hear?"


PacNW now...: New Jersey? What exit? (I lived there for 30 years before migrating west.)

I force myself to stay up for your show every night. Love it.

Chelsea Handler: thank you very much for watching!


Lufkin, Texas: I love your show, you're pretty much the funniest person alive!!! So I was wondering, how did you find your little nugget Chuy???!

Chelsea Handler: i told my producers to find me a little nugget!


Taunton, MA: I lost my job back in April. During my time off I have read both your books, and become in love with Vodka, Grey Goose only, please. Do you need another personal assistant, one that can help you with Chuy?


Chelsea Handler: i'm sorry, we are fully staffed. i'm very sorry you lost your job. we have to get this country back on track. pls vote.


Jina from California: Have you talked to that little nugget Kimmy since Girls Behaving Badly?

Chelsea Handler: no! where is she?


Oskaloosa, Iowa: On your show, do you get to choose who joins you at the "round" table?

Chelsea Handler: yessum.


Marine City, Michigan: Hey Chelsea!! Huge fan of yours, and the new book! I was wondering... and I don't mean any offense in this AT ALL, but you talk a lot on the show about "young Hollywood" girls partying and sleeping around. It's hilarious, but are they really so different from you? I get that it's just something to discuss or whatever, but at times it seems slightly hypocritical after reading your books. Still luv ya though! FROM: Kelly!

Chelsea Handler: no-i admitted all of my behavior, and didn't lie about it. that's the difference.


Indio California: What do you do for fun??

Chelsea Handler: lots of travel and lots of goose!


Mentor on the Lake, Ohio: Hey, my name is Chelsea, too, and I'm also half Jewish! I watch your show all the time, it's sooo funny! Chuy is super cool, and your sketches are the best!


Good luck with your new book!

Peace! Chelsea

Chelsea Handler: thanks very much for watching!


PHoeNiX, ArIzonNNa: i love you, you remind me of... well me. are you planning on keeping ur talk show for awhile longer??? cuz i will quit watching tv if it were to stop.

Chelsea Handler: i'll be on for awhile, not to worry.


Reading, PA: Since you promote Grey Goose, does the company give you free bottles?

Chelsea Handler: yes, but they don't pay me. i actually really love the product.


Arlington, VA: Do you ever worry that you will ruin a lot of future career opportunities by making snarky remarks about everyone in Hollywood?

Chelsea Handler: not really. i get more opportunities now than i ever did before. i don't think anyone takes the show too seriously, and if they do, they're exactly the type of people i make fun of.


Washington, DC: Did you ever think about being a lounge singer? You've got the boozy part down.

Chelsea Handler: too bad i don't have the ability to sing a single note.


Myrtle Beach, SC: Seeing as how you love the gays, have you ever considered becoming one yourself?

Chelsea Handler: just for a night or two.


Newcastle, DE: Did you ever meet or work with Sarah Silverman and if not would you?

Chelsea Handler: yes, we did the vanity fair shoot about female comics together. don't know her very well, but think she is hilarious.


Elkridge, MD: Hi, Chelsea! Thanks for bringing such an entertaining show to the air. I was wondering when you're going to announce the winner of your roundtable contest. Did you receive any "normal" entries?

Chelsea Handler: in the next couple of weeks, we will announce.


Whittier, California: Hi Chelsea, my name is Ceejay, and I have read your latest book and I found it funny, and very inspiring. I find myself in your shoes because I want to be a somebody but it seems like no one can take me seriously. I'm fourteen years old and a sophomore at Whittier High and because of this age gap people only tend to find me as a nerd. This stereotype has been bugging me for some time now, so I want to show people that I can be smart and still the fun person. With that said, I decided to do modeling and I did sign with an agency, Beauty Models. Now I'm having trouble with actually getting a job. I wouldn't mind some hints or suggestions that you can tell me. I really enjoy this entertainment aspect and I would like to become successful at it. So, any advice? And tell Chuy I said Hi!

Chelsea Handler: you just have to keep pushing at it, and eventually, something will materialize. you have to keep trying.


Virginia Beach, VA: Chelsea, when you first saw your sister after the prison incident what did you say to her?

Chelsea Handler: we had made up by that time, but definitely had many conversations about it before i saw her, where i called her a mormon.


Downey, CA: Chelsea!!! Girl, you're simply fantabulous!!!! What's your next career move? I totally think you should hit the big screen, what do you think?

Chelsea Handler: if i ever had time. unfortunately, this show leaves me with little free time to do anything.


Philly, PA: Who's your favorite comedian?

Chelsea Handler: dave attell


Silver Spring, MD: "My Horizontal Life" is one of my favorite books and this book is also very entertaining, but how much of it really happened? Just out of curiosity, I mean if you make that stuff up good for you, it's insane and I love it! Are you working on another book? And when are you going to get Paula Abdul as a guest on "Chelsea Lately"?

Chelsea Handler: stories are true. that is why i wrote them. next book comes out in may 2010. paula abdul would probably have to be actually unconscious to be on the show, but we will try.


What revolving skyline?: Seriously, you have a revolving skyline? I never noticed.

And I'm not even drunk!

Chelsea Handler: no kidding. me neither.


Plano, TX: I've read your book, and I can safely assume that Vodka is your favorite liquor; but what are your favorite drinks with vodka in them? I personally like Cape Cods, or my Grey Goose straight up.

Chelsea Handler: i like mostly vodka with lemons squeezed into it. a healthy treat!


Tampa, FL: Have you attempted to have Barack Obama on your show? He is a hottie!

Chelsea Handler: no, but i will be seeing him tonight at his speech at the greystone mansion. very excited!


Washington, D.C.: Why are your legs so sheentastic? Someone oil them?

Chelsea Handler: i lube them all the time.


Buffalo, NY: You mentioned in your book your mom is from Europe. Where is she from? I love the reference to the lack of showering, as my husband's family lives in Germany and the 8 hr flight home after visiting them for me was a very long one next to somebody who hasn't met with soap in a very long time.

Chelsea Handler: she was born in dusseldorf, germany! ha.


Boise, Idaho: Chelsea, What is the best thing about doing your own talk show? What do you like the least about it?

Chelsea Handler: it's every day,so if you have a s****y show, there's a new one right around the corner.


Mobile, AL: Does Chuy date tall people, like 5'1"... and if so, how do you feel about inter-height dating? Do you prefer he be with women shorter than him?

Chelsea Handler: i prefer not to think about it at all.


San Diego, CA: Have you ever offended someone in a way that was sooo bad that you regretted anything that came out of your mouth? Lol...

Chelsea Handler: on a daily basis.


Columbus, GA: Chelsea, where can I share with you my own personal story of a little nugget who hooked up with a jolly giant?

Chelsea Handler: i really don't know! sorry!


Dallas, TX: Chelsea, did you enjoy being on The View?

Chelsea Handler: i enjoy everything to a certain degree!


L.A.: Are you having a cocktail while you do this online interview?

Chelsea Handler: not yet. too early.


Anonymous: Chelsea, what would be the funniest message you would get in a fortune cookie?

Chelsea Handler: you're not drinking enough.


M, Ga: do you still eat peanut butter?

Chelsea Handler: i had some last night.


Bullhead City, AZ: Is there an E! True Hollywood Story in your future? I think we'd all love to hear from your friends and family. Especially your father.

Chelsea Handler: omg. i hope not. that would be too much info. i've already told everything.


Banning California: Did your relationship with your parents differ after you released both your books?

Chelsea Handler: no-they loved it.


Virginia Beach, VA: Do you see the format of 'Chelsea Lately' changing to include more of your hilarious skits?

Chelsea Handler: i don't know. we like to switch it up. so you never know.


Turlock, CA: Of all the interviews on your show, who smelled the worst, made no sense, was a legend in their own mind, or had bad breath?

Being a viewer, two people come to mind for me: Andrew Dice Clay and Tom Arnold. Just curious what your thoughts are.

Chelsea Handler: add gene simmons to the list. and his tongue.


EH CT: So I think in honor of Paris Hilton's new show where she finds a new BFF, you should do a segment where you find a new drinking partner. My friend and I always say we wish we could hang out with you and drink!!

Chelsea Handler: thank you! paris hilton is too dumb to speak about with such limited time.


huge fan: Can we expect to see Chuy in your next book? And for the record, you're the funniest woman alive!

Chelsea Handler: thank you very much. you can expect to see chuy in everything i do!


Houston, Texas: Hi Chelsea, I was just in Hurricane Ike, and I came out well, but others I know were not so fortunate. Obviously, I have power and access to the internet, and to take my mind off this chaos, I had to tell you that I absolutely love your show and the book was hilarious. I want to know how much liberty was taken with your essays in the book. Did you really get "jumped" by teenagers? That was my favorite part of the book. Thanks for everything, you're the greatest, Chelsea. If you need another sidekick, let me know.


Chelsea Handler: yes, i was jumped by people half my age. that's the beauty of my life. i'm a loser.


Denver, CO: Hey Chelsea, While reading your book last night I actually choked on a tortilla chip. There should be a warning on the cover not to eat while reading, and to wear Depends at all times. THANKS!! See you in Denver 10/18

Chelsea Handler: that's a very funny idea. are you ok?


Mobile, AL: I love your show and can relate to your books... lol... but I cannot believe you make fun of Alabama and you have never even been here!! Perhaps you should have me on your show so I can represent our great state?!?

Chelsea Handler: that's a good idea. i have never been there!


Lexington, KY: I never thought there could be another person who cracked on Spencer and Heidi as much as I do. What would you say to them if you ever met them face to face?

Chelsea Handler: i wouldn't even be able to look at them.


Buffalo, NY: Is there something you have ever said to a guest on your show that you have regretted?

Chelsea Handler: all the time


Austin, Texas: I loved your book, Chelsea! I especially loved your Goldie Hawn story... Will you be writing a new one in the future? I also want to say that I am working on your favorite TV show, "Friday Night Lights," and we would LOVE for you to come out to the set and be on the show!

Chelsea Handler: i'd love to be on that show. that is something i would definitely do.


Denver, Colo-freakin-rad-o: I work at an assisted living facility for people with Schizophrenia, inviting as that may sound. And, with all due respect to the people I work with, I'm wondering when you can pencil in a q & a like the segment you did at the ol' folks home? I'm 17 months into my 6-month plan of working there and have spent most of that time trying to think of creative distractions for them. Something to look forward to other than leisurely mopping the circut breakers to a merry tune while I dodge the sparks, telling me to kiss inanimate objects and fat baby's asses in an attempt to put me in my place, and getting SO incredibly hammered on my shift. Any suggestions are welcome. Ridiculously welcome!

Chelsea Handler: i'm sure we'll go back soon enough. sorry we haven't had more.


Buffalo, NY: If I leave you comments on myspace is it you or someone else reading them?

Chelsea Handler: i read them all, it just takes me awhile.


Handler for President 2012: You are my hero! Your show is the only thing worth watching on TV....THANKS!!! I can't wait for the next book!

Chelsea Handler: spring 2010, it'll be there!


New Hampshire: Hey Chelsea just wanted to tell you how fabulous you are! I love your humor and brutal honesty, more people need to be like you! My wife and I named our daughter Chelsea just born in June after you! Keep the great humor rolling!


Chelsea Handler: wow! that is a huge compliment. thank you!


Chelsea Handler: sorry guys! i'm out of time. i have to go do a skit for tonight's show. thanks for tuning in! i'll do this again sometime soon.


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