Celebritology Live: Pleat Backlash; Who Will Lance Armstrong Date Next?

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Liz Kelly
washingtonpost.com Celebritology Blogger
Thursday, September 11, 2008; 2:00 PM

When stars shave their heads, couch-jump, spend countless minutes in jail, commit a fashion faux pas and/or other random acts of ego-inspired inanity, washingtonpost.com Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly is on the job. Every weekday, Liz shares the buzz, offers perspective and provides crucial links to juicy alternate news sources and, of course, takes your reaction in her daily blog.

Join Liz LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

In her pre-celeb obsessed days (as if!), Liz ran washingtonpost.com's Discussions section, where she enjoyed talking to really interesting people -- sometimes even Post reporters -- on the phone. She still produces Pulitzer-prize winner Gene Weingarten's weekly Chatological Humor discussion and serves as co-proprietress of post.com's "Lost" Central.

Celebritology Live Archive


Liz Kelly: Afternoon. I hope everyone has had a chance to weigh in on today's important celebrity girlfriend debate as it effects the sports world. Next week, we'll move on to the effect of celebrity girlfriends on CPAs and government workers.

Breaking News: Kanye West was arrested today at LAX for allegedly attacking a photographer.

Lindsay Lohan has used her MySpace blog to share her remembrances of 9/11. I don't know whether to snark, shed a tear or give the girl a pat on the back, so I'm just going to spontaneously combust. Hopefully, the chat will carry on without me.

Let's find out...


Silver Spring, Md.: Have you heard any updates as to how Paul Newman is doing? The last picture I saw of him was not good (looked very frail in a wheelchair).

Liz Kelly: I was just wondering the same thing this morning when I saw Paul pop up in Parade's gallery of most generous celebs.

The last update I could find wasn't too hopeful, reporting that Newman had finished chemotherapy, told his family he wanted to die at home and was now getting his affairs in order. That was mid-August and from a less than legitimate source, so I would imagine the Newman family is -- rightly -- keeping as much out of the press as possible.


Falls Church - VMA obsessed: Hi Liz! This is my last work day for the week, so I'm particularly excited to get home, grab my USWeekly, and head to the beach for the weekend! I suspect USWeekly will have a lot of VMA pics./coverage. Did you tune in? I think I read somewhere that Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas are a couple. I saw a pre-VMA interview with Swift interviewing the Jonas brothers, and I thought they were both mature, not-giggly and seemed pretty cool. Maybe 19-year-olds are more mature than I think? Maybe I was more mature at 19 than I remember? Any insight on this young couple, or other VMA gossip we should be aware of? Thanks Liz! T - five hours until I'm outta here!

Liz Kelly: Hey, me too! I'll be heading to Delaware tomorrow for my final beach weekend of 2008, but I think I'll leave the Us Weekly at home.

I did watch a bit of the VMAs. I was obviously curious to see how Britney would do after all the pre-show hype about her triumphant return. I thought she did fine.

Us did a couple galleries online earlier in the week touting VMA fashion hits and misses. They listed Katy Perry as a miss, though, when I thought her little outfit was tres cute.

As to Taylor and Joe Jonas -- I'm afraid I haven't been following their possible budding romance.


Athletes and arm candy: Want to venture a guess as to what blonde, comely, singer/starlet/celebrity will be cheering on Lance Armstrong (serial dater) as he rides the 2009 Tour de France?

Liz Kelly: Oooh, that is a good question. And since I won't be around tomorrow to make this Friday List fodder, let's consider this question throughout today's chat.

I saw a quote from Armstrong this morning in which he said he likes his women hotter than doughnut grease (ewww), which just re-confirmed his status as a Summer's Eve product, but I haven't seen mention of him being linked to anyone specific for the past few weeks.

Let's see, what blonde starlet has he not yet romanced? Kirsten Dunst?


VMA: Did you think the host was funny? Rude? Crude? I thought he was funny at times, but not always. What say you, Liz?

Liz Kelly: I think Russell Brand is a funny guy. I also think he was extremely nervous and it showed. He loosened up as the night went on and some of his stuff landed with a big dull thud. I think he got better as the night went on, though he could've ratcheted back on the Jonas Brothers virgin thing a bit.

In general, the show lacked a bit of the electricity of years past. Maybe it was the smaller venue or something, but it just seemed like a cheap imitation of the normally larger-than-life VMAs.

What was more enjoyable was following Post Rock's David Malitz as he twittered throughout the show. That guy is for real funny.


Washington DC: Liz-

I missed the chat live last week because of work, but I caught up afterwards.

Andy is adorable, but I was a bit disappointed to see that Page the dog slighted. Is this an indication of who rules the roost?

Liz Kelly: Dude, Page is not at all slighted. Trust me, she is top dog around the Celebritology household. She's just a little camera shy compared to Andy. Think of Andy as the Paris Hilton of the household, while Page is more of the Nicky Hilton -- there and just as fab, but content to leave her hammier sibling the spotlight.

But, anticipating that the chat would take this turn, I've got new pix of both Page and Andy.

I'm starting to think they are more popular than ScarJo.


Alexandria, Va.: Lindsay Lohan Ronson: the only one of the current crop of celeb-disasters who had any innate talent?

And where's Andy? We haven't seen him in a while.

Liz Kelly: I'm not sure I'd list Lindsay as being in the disaster column anymore. She seems to have pulled out of her tail spin quite nicely and is well on the way to regaining her career footing, what with the "Ugly Betty" cameos and the upcoming "Labor Pains" -- which doesn't look 100 percent awful.


Burbs, Md.: Here, you need a snark for Lindsay Lohan - if she's going to be friend of Clay, couldn't she find a better looking girlfriend? Sam Ronson must be patting herself on the back for bagging the hot chick.

On the other hand, maybe Sam Ronson would be cute if she hit the buffet a few times. Dang, she's skinny.

Liz Kelly: Hey man, different strokes for different folks. I mean, if you want to talk skeletal, I'm going to have to bring up Marc Anthony. That guy is in serious need of some protein. And I think SamRo is kinda cute in an indy sort of way.


Lance Armstrong: I read somewhere that his squeezes tend to look like his mother -- thin, blonde, with long faces. I'll have to give some thought to who fits this profile . . .

washingtonpost.com: Apple's mom?

Liz Kelly: Who, Gwyneth? I could see that as maybe the shortest of dalliances.


methinks: Possible Lance Armstrong gal pal--How about the ever available Cameron Diaz? Or the lovely and always commented upon Scarlett Johansson?

Liz Kelly: Oooh, that's a good one. She's perfect -- she's like the female Lance Armstrong.


Hey Hey Hey!: Credit where credit is due: Jessica Simpson is smart enough to know that the Eagles are squaring off against the Cowboys. I bet she even knows the colors of the uniforms, and the mascots for both. So there.

Liz Kelly: Right. It is definitely a point in her favor.

And not to degrade her once we've started building her back up, but what in the world was she wearing on GMA last week anyhow? Seriously, that was a decidedly anti-pop star get up. Did she have a temp job immediately following the concert?


McLean: Hi Liz,

I love your posts, but the comments are getting really hard to read with the cross posts from other blogs, and the downright nasty comments of late. Is there anything that can be done about this?

Liz Kelly: The problem isn't just happening in my blog, but several, and the solution will need to be applicable to all, not just a few. So, that's a convoluted way of saying we're working on it.


Matt Damon, smart and sexy: Last year's People Magazine Sexiest Man has proved that he has plenty of brains, too, in his skewering of the Polar Princess as the lead in "a bad Disney movie." Thanks to Matt for speaking out about this. (We all remember what happened to Bambi's mom.)

Liz Kelly: I'm trying to remember, did Bambi's mom wear lipstick?


Judiciary Square: Hi, I'm been meaning to ask this for awhile now and keep forgetting. With all the stuff Heidi Klum does, what does Seal do for a living? I know he is a singer but hasn't it been quite some time since he actually had a hit? Is that why they seem so perfect together, he's Mr. Mom and she's the star? Thanks.

Liz Kelly: While I'm sure it takes a lot of dedication to be Mr. Heidi Klum, Seal does in fact have a gig of his own. Yes, he's a singer and although his biggest hit "Crazy," is fading further and further into the past, he is still plying his trade. In fact, he was nominated for a Grammy just last year for his song, "Amazing." (Can't say I've ever heard the song, but bully for Seal!)


Cleveland: Can someone please come up with a hybridized name for Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson? The way we refer to them is just too normal.

washingtonpost.com: Loson?

Liz Kelly: LoRo?


Lance Armstrong's next girlfriend: Sarah Palin.

Okay, now my head hurts.

Liz Kelly: Not blond enough. Maybe Cindy McCain, tho...


Liz Kelly: Hot off the presses from our video dept.: Matt Damon's Palin Comments


Washington, D.C.: Any news on our very own reality show? Where are they filming? Any altercations? Any bad behavior?

Liz Kelly: I haven't heard anything, but these people aren't celebs. Yet. And here's to hoping they never will be.

Perhaps the Sourcettes have been keeping up...?


Random about Late Night Talk: Hi Liz - What does your Magic 8-Ball say about Michael Phelps? Can he parlay Gold into Golden Opportunities and become a Tiger or Lance? Or does he fade into the bin of obscurity?

Liz Kelly: Well, he has definitely parlayed his Olympian performance into a spate of gigs -- an "Entourage" cameo, he's hosting this weekend's "SNL" season opener and he even turned up for with a wooden speech presenting one of the VMAs on Sunday night. Hey, more power to him. I'm not sure it will last, but maybe -- just maybe -- if he keeps his wits about him and doesn't allow himself to be tempted by one of these "celebrity girlfriends" he'll be okay.


washingtonpost.com: Christina Aguilera, far right, at the VMAs.

washingtonpost.com: Christina Aguilera, far right, at the VMAs.

Liz Kelly: Ya, that wasn't the best look for Christina. Though I think it was also an off night for Rihanna, who is increasingly having off nights. I'm wondering if she's been letting Beyonce's mom design her outfits lately.


Lance's lasses: Drew Barrymore? (could dye her hair for a few months) Sienna Miller (seems to be non-discriminating in her choices and is already on the right side of the pond)

Liz Kelly: Sienna Miller -- good one, though she is still romancing Balthazar Getty according to recent London tabloid reports.


Mens Wear Dept Tysons Corner: Whatever Jessica Simpson was wearing on GMA must have been trashy hot, because the image was blocked by my employer's Net Nanny.

Liz Kelly: It is not hot. Trashy in a "found in a dumpster behind TJ Maxx" kind of way -- maybe.


Lindsay Lohan/Sam Ronson: Lindsantha? LiRo? Lonson?

Liz Kelly: LiRo! That's it.


LiLo looks fine to me: Liz -- I am so fed up with Heather Mills. Didn't she get enough money from Sir McCartney to retire somewhere far, far away from the civilization??

Liz Kelly: Apparently Heather is not content to retire into obscurity just yet. She's been in the headlines twice already this week -- once for firing her publicist and the other for being fired herself from "Celebrity Apprentice" before the show even got off the ground.

And, stay tuned -- although the judge in the Mills-McCartney divorce case issued a gag order on the two parties, Heather is reportedly busy writing a "novel" about a model who marries a rock star and then ends up in divorce court.


Bawlmer: Lindsey and Sam: LiSa? No, too normal...

And Lance Armstrong (who I used to like much more) should just go to the source and date Joan Rivers. Much like his main love, the bike, she's made of synthetic materials and needs regular re-inflation.

Liz Kelly: I knew the word "abomination" was invented for some specific reason. Now I know.


Kew Gardens, NY: Since Nic Cage made "Bangkok Dangerous" in Thailand with an all Thai cast and Chinese directors could this possibly qualify as a foreign film ? I'm just glad to see Nic always striving for the best roles and seeking to expand his acting talents.

Liz Kelly: Okay, I'm glad you brought this up. What has happened to Nic Cage? Where is the guy who did such a fab job in "Raising Arizona" and "Leaving Las Vegas" and countless other movies. Why is he now a caricature of himself? And what is with that horrible hair?


Lance's GF: Britney Spears!

Liz Kelly: I don't think Britney qualifies as "hot doughnut grease" yet.


Mens Wear Dept, Tysons Corner: Regarding Lance's next female celebrity target of opportunity, my money's on ScarJo.

Liz Kelly: I can't believe producer Paul, who is sitting in today, didn't seize this opportunity to insert our favorite Scarlett photo.


X-tina: Does anyone else think Christina Aguilera looked like Brooke Hogan at the VMAs? Or is it just me?

Liz Kelly: Yes. And does anyone think Brooke Hogan, who surfaced earlier this week in the morning mix to talk politics, is looking more and more like her mother -- as in the same age?


Falls Church: I think that the pleated pants looked cute on Kiera Knightley. They give her the illusion of having hips.

Of course, if she went out and binged on a turnip, they probably won't look quite as good.

washingtonpost.com: (Getty Images)

Liz Kelly: I'm glad you brought this up. Either I am really alone in my hatred of the pleat or someone did some serious ballot-box stuffing in yesterday's poll.


Tangential Lance Armstrong story I love: "One morning at breakfast in Austin, April, Lyle Lovett's girlfriend, got up from the table, and as she did, Lyle rose from his chair. Lance Armstrong was also at the table, and he asked Lyle about his gesture. Lyle said this: 'When you look like I do, you need every advantage you can get.' I think that applies to us all."

- Esquire editor David Granger.

Liz Kelly: Nice.


Rihanna at the VMA's: You're wrong about this. She looked HOOOTTTT!!!

Liz Kelly: If you say so.

I say she looked like a reject from the "Thriller" video.


Jen 'n' Brad: I was walking my kid to school this morning and saw another "Jen's Dinner with Brad" headline on one of the gossip mags. I couldn't buy it -- the newsstand guy likes me and asks me to help his kids with their professional futures -- but I need to know. Is this more wishful thinking on the rag's part while poor Angie is stuck in France with the kids and post-partum depression while Brad does publicity for "Burn After Reading"?

Liz Kelly: Here's what Janet Charlton, who knows a thing or two about creative story-writing says:

Don't believe those unsubstantiated "rumors" that Jennifer Aniston had a secret dinner with Brad Pitt in Toronto, where they are both in the same town for the film festival. Jennifer's people go to great lengths to make sure she doesn't accidentally bump into anyone who might create an awkward situation for her. Desperate magazines love to make up stories like this because they sell copies and are not litigious. Websites mindlessly repeat them for the SAME reasons. The fact is, Jennifer and Brad have NOT been in touch since their divorce. Period.


Michael Phelps: I'd like to offer myself as his girlfriend. I'm not a celebrity, I'm not even blond, so I'd keep him normal.

Just doing my part for America, folks.

Liz Kelly: Thanks.


Lance Armstrong: Jennifer Aniston?

Or perhaps he'll pull a Tom Cruise and overtake some young, passive television persona and turn her into a Tourdefranceologist.

washingtonpost.com: Blake Lively's ears are burning.

Liz Kelly: I don't think Lance has the bandwidth for utter devotion a la Tom Cruise's Katie Holmes-bot.


Re: the hated pleats: See, Liz, the pleats look cute on Kiera. Not on 99.9 per cent of the population, but on Kiera, yes.

Liz Kelly: It can't be shades of grey. Either pleats are wrong for everyone or the world makes no sense.


Lance's GF strikes again: Whoops, sorry... I thought Lance's gal pal should be a young, blond female who loves to have "hot doughnut grease" for breakfast. Kidding, Britney, you look gorgeous, for now. Please keep it up.

Liz Kelly: Ba-dump-pah!


Britney Spears: How about congealed donut grease?

Liz Kelly: Ba-dump-pah, part II.


Anonymous: Liz : This is so over the top -- pictures inserted into the chat ! Imagine where this could go from here -- an all Andy chat with real time updates even.

Liz Kelly: Get real -- Andy is totally sleeping every day from 2 - 3 p.m.


Lovestrong Foundation: We're in consultation with the Lance Armstrong Foundation to enlist the assistance of hot blonde female celebrities to help Lance in his fight against cancer. Any hot blonde female celebrity who agrees to date Lance gets the opportunity to give a LiveStrong contribution directly to Lance, as well as getting an autographed LiveStrong bracelet in yellow to match their hot blonde out of a bottle hair.

Liz Kelly: Just passing along this PSA.


Rush Limbaugh?: So after you put up the link for Parade Magazine's most charitable celebs, I of course had to go check it out and I must admit that I was surprised that Rush was up there for his giving to families of Marines killed in the line of duty. I have certainly never been a fan, but it's nice to know that he actually is doing something behind all that ridiculous rhetoric.

Liz Kelly: I was surprised to see Herb Alpert up there as one of the top three. Who knew?


Age gapper: Liz, I am excited at the prospect of seeing DeNiro and Pacino together in "Righteous Kill." But will anyone in your age group bother to attend?

Liz Kelly: Well, I like DeNiro and Pacino as much as the next girl (in my age group), but I've seen a few previews for "Righteous Kill" and it just doesn't grab me. I'd rather watch "The Godfather" trilogy again.


Another Seal hit: Who can forget "Kiss From A Rose," from that '90s Batman movie?!

Liz Kelly: Apparently me.


ScarJo & Lance: Would she REALLY dump Ryan Reynolds for Lance Armstrong?

Liz Kelly: Of course not, but we're just having a little fun here.


Pleats: Liz, I asked a question in the comments yesterday, but nobody answered. (Probably got tired of navigating through all the nasty posts and cross-posts.) Are we allowed to like pleats on skirts -- at least the ones above the knee (like kilts or schoolgirl-types)?

Liz Kelly: Yes, those pleats are perfectly fine. Even a on kilt, when properly worn by, like, Ewan McGregor.


Hollywood, Fla.: Obama was wearing grey pleated slacks the other day and they looked good. But from what I hear, Biden is the better dresser of the two, combining just the right touch of grandpa and hotness.

Liz Kelly: Hotness? Joe Biden? Next you'll have me believing Hef was recruiting Barbara Mikulski for a centerfold layout.


Lance's Next Girlfriend: Jessica Simpson!

Liz Kelly: I can see it now:

"And we're going to totally kick Team Italy's butt, too!"


Vacation: Does Page accompany you on your journey? Assuming Andy prefers to remain at home?

Liz Kelly: Correct on both counts.


Nic Cage: Well, I have never recovered from the knowledge that the romantic guy from the movie "Moonstruck" is now married to a sushi waitress half his age.

Liz Kelly: But even that would be fine if he hadn't suddenly started making the darnedest career decisions. I get that the "National Treasure" movies were probably big money makers and helped to fill the coffers, but "Bangkok Dangerous?"


Lance's girlfriend: No one has mentioned Matthew McConaughey as Lance's girlfriend yet? He's blonde.

Liz Kelly: Oh behave.


Black Pearl: Kiera Knightley in pleats??!?! That wench is anglin' fer a keel haulin'!!! No self-respectin' pirate wears pleats!


Liz Kelly: Feel better now that you've gotten it out of your system?


washington dc: One of our local celebs made the Washingtonian.

Liz Kelly: That's hardly akin to People. Anyone* can get into the Washingtonian.

* Please avert your eyes from the worst picture ever.


Nic Cage: I can't stomach his hair. Or, more accurately, how's he's chosen to deal with losing his hair.

Liz Kelly: Right, another bad choice.


Please help: Trying to settle a debate. Which is the better smoosh-name for the Dem ticket: Joebama, Obiden, or BamBi?

Liz Kelly: I'd have to go with Joebama, tho that does sort of put the cart before the horse.


Facebook: Last week, somebody set up a facebook group for people who participate in Lisa's TV online chat ("Pookies for Lisa de Moraes"). It has 78 members as of now and many are not DC area residents (the horror!!!). Do you have "Andy for President" facebook group too??

Liz Kelly: No, but there is a Celebritology group. Maybe I'll appoint Andy as the moderator.


Woman for Lance: Heather Mills.. Blonde (check), female (check), appropriate age group (check). And when she gets too mean and obnoxious, a tragic bike accident (he runs her over) ends it all.

Liz Kelly: Too bad he missed out on the blonde-for-minute Amy Winehouse.


Ant Island: Like I've been saying, Madonna is the only blonde famous enough for Lance Armstrong. In fact "Blonde Ambition" might just be Lance's mantra.

Liz Kelly: Well said.


Where's Angelina?: What's your take on the rumored post partum depression?

Liz Kelly: Until I hear it from Angie's lips, I'm not believing it. And, until we hear it from her lips, it's her business.


J. Simp: Have to agree -- her outfit on GMA was decidely un-hot. It made her look a bit matronly and kind of chunky. I love how she's decided to "go country", and, in doing so, has decided to dress like a country star out of the 80s (or in her old Dukes costumes). Ugh.

Liz Kelly: If I were a country music fan, I think I'd be annoyed at her presumption that she can take her act -- which couldn't hack the pop world -- and sell it to the country audience.


Nic's descent: Did Cage's decision making skills begin to falter after he married Lisa Marie Presley?

Liz Kelly: Well, maybe a bit before.


Ewan in kilt: Oh Liz, you just made my day!!!!

Liz Kelly: I aim to please.

And on that note, I'm out of here. Producer Paul will be taking the Celebritology reins tomorrow for both the Morning Mix and a Friday List. Be nice to him and put up with his ScarJo obsession. I'll be back first thing Monday morning and, of course, back here next week at the same time.


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