Celebritology Live: Paris vs. Palin

You've Been Served... a Heaping Plate of Gossip

When stars shave their heads, couch-jump, spend countless minutes in jail, commit a fashion faux pas and/or other random acts of ego-inspired inanity, washingtonpost.com Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly is on the job. Every weekday, Liz shares the buzz, offers perspective and provides crucial links to juicy alternate news sources and, of course, takes your reaction in her daily blog.

Join Liz LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

A transcript follows.

In her pre-celeb obsessed days (as if!), Liz ran washingtonpost.com's Discussions section, where she enjoyed talking to really interesting people -- sometimes even Post reporters -- on the phone. She still produces Pulitzer-prize winner Gene Weingarten's weekly Chatological Humor discussion and serves as co-proprietress of post.com's "Lost" Central.

Celebritology Live Archive

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Liz Kelly: Afternoon. I hope everyone has had a chance to scan through the annual Celebritology Honors award winners. I'm interested to hear everyone's take on this year's crop of honorees. Me, I was surprised by a couple of the winners -- I expected the Hogans to win "Scariest Family and didn't anticipate Alec Baldwin taking the Blogger category. Just goes to show that democracy is anything but predictable.

Speaking of democracy, this morning we heard from both Paris Hilton and Diddy vis a vis the election, which inspired the predictable "who cares what celebs think about politics" reaction. But, tell me, are there any celebs whose opinions you would be interested in hearing when it comes to the election? Maybe this guy's?

Oh, and, for anyone else out there who is a fan, just a reminder that "L.A. Ink's" new season begins tonight at 9 p.m. ET on TLC.

Let's get started...

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Washington, D.C.: Love, love, love that Paris Hilton as a "fake President" video. But here's the thing that is troubling me. Paris comes across as so erudite on that vid that I wonder if she has been faking it all these years. Then I remember that she is just reading from a memorized script. But this makes me worried because Sarah Palin is also reading from a memorized script, and isn't nearly as good at it. All of which forces me to the horrible conclusion that maybe Paris would be a better VP than Palin.

Oy.

Liz Kelly: I'm all for Paris empowerment, but there is a huge-angous difference between a pre-recorded five-minute video piece that has been carefully scripted and practiced and a debate, Katie Couric interview or even a convention speech. So I wouldn't necessarily accuse Sarah Palin of giving bad teleprompter. In fact, she was met with some excitement at the convention when she delivered her original hockey mom speech. It was only when she sat down with Couric and Charlie Gibson -- and at the debate -- that she started tripping over syntax and talking herself into corners.

Paris, on the other hand, had basically zero pressure on her during these bits and can redo any botched takes. So I wouldn't use these videos as evidence of her faking us all out in some kind of Kaufman-esque scheme to turn celebrity on its head. I think a lot of Paris, but not that much.

And if our only choice for VP is Sarah Palin or Paris Hilton, well, that would be a grim day indeed. I mean, it just wouldn't be fair considering the fact that Angelina Jolie knows way more about this stuff than the both of them combined.

Liz Kelly: You can find the Paris video here.

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Anonymous: The quarterback of the Cleveland Browns has announced he's endorsing John McCain for President. This is just the kind of game-changer that could entirely change the election, but I had to go to the Fox News Web site to learn about it. Could you give us a comprehensive list of which celebrities have endorse which candidate(s) so we can have a better idea who to vote for? Thanks.

washingtonpost.com: The Presidential Field: McCain
Scroll down on right and see Noteworthy Donors
The Presidential Field: Obama
Same

Liz Kelly: And there you go. Rocci to the rescue...

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Shocked in Georgetown: Liz : The photo of Audrey O'Day (whoever the heck that is) French kissing that dog was so horrible and distasteful that I am hereby cancelling my subscription to the Post. ( Don't worry I read it online anyway )

washingtonpost.com: Save Ginger from Aubrey O'Day

Liz Kelly: It's Aubrey, darling. Perhaps her parents were big Aubrey Beardsley fans.

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byool, IN: Winehouse was a "lead pipe cinch": crack pipe, more likely.

Liz Kelly: Well, I guess all's fair in love and Celebritology snark, so I'll let this one pass.

But I was serious about what I said in today's announcement. I truly hope Amy is able to turn things around for herself and that next year we'll find her in a far different place. And it could happen. If you had told me a year ago that Britney Spears would be the Turn Around of 2008, I would have guffawed in disbelief.

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Fairfax, Va.: Why is George Clooney wearing an inverted codpiece in the TMZ link? And why is he growing the 'stache? Is he starring in a remake of The Great Dictator?

Liz Kelly: Various sites around the Web claim the 'stache is for his role in "Men Who Stare at Goats," which strikes me as a slippery-slope kind of situation.

Apparently, George will be playing a soldier who fights using "ancient Chinese mind techniques." Here's a little more info:

Defying all known accepted military practice and the laws of physics, they believed a soldier could adopt the cloak of invisibility, pass cleanly through walls, and kills goats just by staring at them, reports the Telegraph. (Source)

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Sexiest woman alive?: While some may describe such an article as trivial, I actually admire the folks at "Esquire" for going through the effort of evaluating every living woman on the planet in order to come up with the one they deem sexiest -- who just happens to be (and this was an astounding coincidence) an American actress. They could have just said "sexiest woman we could think of among well-known celebrities," but that just might have resulted in less media coverage. Just imagine if they wanted to do a "sexiest woman ever" competition -- having to pour over billions of photos, paintings, lithographs, etchings, cave paintings, etc.

Liz Kelly: Yeah, I don't recall anyone stopping by to pour over the women of post.com. Oversight, I'm sure.

But I actually thought it was kind of neat that Esquire chose a new mom as their sexiest woman. That's got to be some kind of first and proof positive of the mainstreaming of MILF-ness.

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Browns: It's actually the 'back-up' Browns quarterback, Brady Quinn, that was at the McCain rally (though he is young, hot, and more beloved by Ohio residents than our starter). Maybe Rocci can post a (shirtless) photo, for reference, of course?

At least LeBron James is an Obama supporter...

Liz Kelly: Rocci is hunting up a pic of Brady Quinn, though when this turned into the "we link to your favorite scantily clad celeb pics" chat, I don't know.

And for the rest of the chat, please sub in "that one" for "Obama." Thanks.

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washingtonpost.com: Brady Quinn

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Spiderman: That's not Clooney, that's J. Jonah Jamison! And it looks like he just spotted Spiderman.

Liz Kelly: Or a goat.

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J.L. Spears -- Seriously Pregnant?: What's the deal? And if it's not true, how long can the Nat Enquirer coast on it's John Edwards scoop with untrue stores?

Liz Kelly: Now now, let's not be so hasty as to assign levels of truthiness to Enquirer stories. Let us instead think of their stories as high-calorie gifts -- like Ho-Hos -- to gobble down, enjoying every sugary bite.

So, yes, that would certainly be some kind of humdinger if Jamie-Lynn managed to get herself in the family way again. If it does turn out to be the case, she may just have beat sister Britney's record for least time off between pregnancies.

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Pleated Pants: Liz, I recall on Weingarten's discussion you've mentioned that pleated pants are bad, but I never got the reason. Why is that the case?

Liz Kelly: I don't want this to overtake the chat, but the reason is obvious. Just look at them. They are dated. They give the upper leg far too much volume. They look messy. There are many more reasons, but that should be enough to steer one away from a pleat.

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Shreveport, La.: Is there any truth to the rumor that Andy, (your cat)used to be a regular at the bar where Josh Brolin had that little incident awhile ago?

Liz Kelly: Puh-leeze. Andy's never even been to Louisiana. He developed his love of craw-daddies via mail order.

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byool, IN: The Cleveland Browns are 1-and-3.

Endorse McCain all you like, pal.

Liz Kelly: Just passing along...

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Liz Kelly: Hey, I haven't been watching "Dancing With the Stars." Is there anyone who can give us a Cloris Leachman update?

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Los Angeles, Calif.: "Ancient Chinese mind techniques"? Are these the same ones Angelina Jolie used in "Wanted"?

I always thought Angelina's biggest "technique" was Brad.

Liz Kelly: I'm guessing that you weren't one of the people to vote Angie as your Most Admired celebrity.

But as far as I can tell, George's ancient Chinese techniques seem to be limited to growing a moustache. Maybe he's not done yet. Maybe he's going to go for the whole Fu Manchu.

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washingtonpost.com: Cloris is still on despite a very stiff jive dance.

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washingtonpost.com:

Us Weekly is reporting in its current issue that Angelina Jolie ate Hot Pockets ("Hot Pockets!"), french fries and ice cream during her pregnancy with the twins and had a hard time cutting out the high-calorie food snacks after delivering. She, Jolie, said junk food is the family's weakness and even joked about Brad's "pregnant belly." This from a friend of her own OB-GYN, according to the celebrity magazine.

Incidentally, Star magazine reports that Brad Pitt's private collection of photos of Angelina Jolie and their children will appear in the November issue of W. The mag has a sneak peek on its cover on which Angie is breast-feeding.

The National Enquirer has a cute story about the Beverly Hills Chihuahua that is the star of the current movie who was saved from death at last minute. Rusco, who plays Papi in the nation's #1 movie, was on his way to euthanasia when an animal trainer saw his pic on a Web site. He got to the shelter too late one night and was afraid that it was the end but came back the next morning and the dog hadn't been put to sleep yet. He's voiced in the movie by comedian George Lopez and his "l'amour" is spoken by Drew Barrymore. Can't wait to see this flick.

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Charlotte, N.C.: Good lord, Liz, that first poster was KIDDING. Can we expect this heavy touch throughout the chat today?

Liz Kelly: Heavy hand? Where? My hand is light as a feather, stiff as a board.

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Bawlmer is as scared as you are.: As a product of the YouTube generation, I demand constant entertainment to leaven the utter boredom that is reality. Therefore, I'm only interested in celebrities who can express their political opinions in a concise and amusing manner. So...(gulp)...just Paris Hilton's, then, so far.

Liz Kelly: Good point, me too. Tina Fey for president!

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Methinks: I, for one, would like to place my name on the I-Don't-Care-Who-You're-Voting-For side of the celebrities and politics (or innoculations or Alar on apples or whatever the cause of the day is). For example: I like Meryl Streep because she's a fine actress. That's what she brings to the party. I don't care about her politics. I want to enjoy her ability to move between "The dingo ate my baby" to a dead on Anna Wintour impression.

Liz Kelly: I have a feeling you're not alone, Methinks.

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Page the dog: Liz-

Any further thoughts about your recent discoveries about Page's sister? I thought that this was the greatest "celebrity news" of the week!

Liz Kelly: Aww, thanks. For anyone who missed it, it was revealed earlier this week in Weingarten's chat that my doggie, Page, is probably the sister of Tom Shroder's dog, Sally. (Tom being the editor of the Post Magazine who wrote about Sally in last Sunday's editor's note).

We're still working on a time and place to get them together.

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Washington, D.C.: Do you get the feeling we're not making any new stars these days? It seems like most of the biggest names were big names 10 years ago, and they're not being replaced by new younger hotties. I'm thinking of your Halle Berrys, your Drew Barrymores, your George Clooneys and Brad Pittses... All the newcomers are crap reality stars that no one admires or daydreams about. Or maybe I'm being totally generationally myopic. You tell me.

Liz Kelly: Well, I hate to break it to you, but you may not be seeing the value of the younger crop of stars because they aren't aimed at your demographic. Brad and George are Hollywood royalty, for sure, but give the youngsters time. There has been much buzz around Shia LaBeouf, the "HSM" cast, Anne Hathaway, Dakota Fanning... I could name a bunch more. There are up and comers, they just aren't starring in the movies and shows to which you gravitate.

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Fairfax, Va.: Bless you, Ms. Kelly, and the good work you do by distracting us on this, day seven of the Economic Deathwatch.

Maybe it's just me, but I haven't seen as many of those Hollywood types stumping for Obama as they have for Dems in the past. Do you get the feeling they are keeping a low profile because they are being asked to?

Liz Kelly: Astute observation and I've wondered the same thing myself. It could certainly be argued that an outspoken, ultra-liberal celeb could have more of a detrimental effect on the Obama campaign than otherwise. Certain stars -- like Meryl Streep or Martin Sheen -- tend to utterly turn off many mainstream middle of the road voters.

So I could see where a a campaign might want to keep a healthy distance. In fact, there was a story a couple of weeks back about an offer of campaign help from Lindsay Lohan being rebuffed by Obama's staff. Though, in Lilo's case, I'm guessing its her still recent wild child behavior that disqualified her.

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Quick pregnancy turnarounds: According to Wikipedia, Rosemary Clooney had five babies in five years while married to Jose Ferrer: Miguel Ferrer (b. 1955), Maria (b. 1956), Gabriel Ferrer (b. 1957), Monsita (b. 1958), and Rafael Ferrer, (b. 1960). Looks like they missed a year.

Liz Kelly: Good golly.

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Do you get the feeling we're not making any new stars these days?: James McAvoy. Num yummy.

Liz Kelly: There you go.

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Tinseltown: I believe it was Gene Weingarten who asked what Rocky would think of having people think Sarah Palin sounds like Rocky from "Bullwinkle and Rocky." Anyway, I saw June Foray, who is the voice of Rocky last weekend, and she stated "I hope not. I hope I don't sound like her."

Liz Kelly: That's too funny. I'll have to pass along to Gene.

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Jamie Lynn Spears: Is she or is she not pregnant again?

Liz Kelly: I don't know.

I wouldn't be surprised.

I wouldn't bet on it either.

If so, though, I think her parents should be publicly spanked.

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Methinks: Liz, what's your take on the platform/stiletto shoes worn by Victoria Beckham and Anne Hathaway?

Liz Kelly: Thanks for asking, Methinks.

Surprisingly, I like 'em. I'm a big fan of high fashion, of Victoria Beckham and hell, if I could get away with wearing them, I would. They aren't to be confused with anything other than works of art. Do they look like stripper shoes? A little. But there's something right about them.

Here's a pic of both Posh and Anne in the shoes -- apparently by Canadian designer DSquared.

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Washington, D.C.: Off topic, sort of, but it cracks me up to see what the chat producer (hi Rocci!) edits in my postings. In this case, he took my "Brad Pitts" and turned it into "Brad Pittses." Not sure about the logic there, but it's kinda cute.

Liz Kelly: That is kinda cute. So's Rocci... who never wears pleated pants.

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Tell-all memoir: Imagine if Page and Sally were to write one of those heart-wrenching memoirs about how they were separated as puppies, went through life thinking they'd never be reunited, and through the miracle of Gene Weingarten's prose were able to reconnect.

Liz Kelly: Well, the one problem with that happy ending is that Page is not a big fan of other dogs. She is the sweetest girl in the world to humans of all sizes, cats, squirrels -- you name it. But she just doesn't like other dogs. My concern is that she'll see her sister and promptly bite her in the neck.

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Celebrities and politics: The thing is just about everyone thinks that everyone else cares who they are voting for. That's why people stick signs in their yards and on their cars. Rather than worry about celebrity endorsers the candidates should worry about idiot drivers, because if you cut me off I will not be voting for whichever name is on your bumper.

Liz Kelly: Oh, I see. That's logical. And a great use of your right to vote.

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Somebody get Lauren Bacall a Web cam!: I love it when older folks tell it like it is -- esp. the famous ones! She's got nothin to lose so the truth rolls out.

Lauren Bacall: 'Tom Cruise is a maniac' (Access Hollywood)

Liz Kelly: I know. Lauren needs her own platform.

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Fairfax, Va.: Do you believe that Lindsay Lohan is really gay or is it a diversion? (No disrespect to her "partner" intended)

Liz Kelly: Dunno. I think she's serious about her feelings towards Samantha Ronson and that their relationship is perhaps the first healthy-ish, adult relationship Lilo's had. So, gay or nay, that's all for the good.

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Los Angeles, Calif.: ACK! No, no no -- those shoes are hideously ugly! They're the Birkenstocks of high heels! Clunky platform, inverted stilleto...just ugh. Gimme a pair of Choos any day.

Liz Kelly: Okay, another opinion.

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ScarJo's hubby: Ryan Reynolds has a very compelling posting on HuffPost about how he's running the N.Y. Marathon for his dad, who has Parkinson's. It's very well-written and made me wonder if he's brighter than he's appeared in his usual roles.

washingtonpost.com: Why I'm Running the New York City Marathon (Huffington Post)

Liz Kelly: Thanks for bringing this up.

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Cloris Update: She's still old.

Liz Kelly: Check.

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washingtonpost.com: Meanie.

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No, No: You're not a star if you've made on movie, even if that movie was a hit. So no to the HSM stars, no to James McAvoy... Based on your examples, George Clooney would have been considered a star when he was on Roseanne.

Liz Kelly: But according to your rules, the "High School Musical" cast is entitled to "star" status. After all, they're on the third movie now.

And James McAvoy, too. He was in both "Atonement" and that Jolie bullet-bending movie.

An equivalent for George Clooney in his early TV days would be like saying that, ohhhh, hmmmm.... let's see -- that Chuck's Zach Levi is an A-lister. He ain't yet. May be one day, but not yet.

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Arlington, Va.: On one of the entertainment shows last night they said Jaime Lynn is not preggers, according to her rep.

Liz Kelly: Right. I had that in the Morning Mix today, as well. But we know better than to believe denials from reps, don't we?

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The Lady from Legal, Tysons Corner, Va.: Menswear couldn't find a well-fitting tuxedo with plain front pants, so he wore a cummerbund to cover part of the pleats. I now have the man on a diet.

Liz Kelly: Lady from Legal! Welcome -- and congrats on your wedding. Glad to see you two crazy kids made it back in one piece -- and are working on eliminating pleats from your married life.

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Mens Wear Department, Tysons Corner: I DARE Sarah Palin to wear a pair of those heels at a campaign appearance.

Liz Kelly: And where Legal Lady is, Mens Wear isn't far behind.

Sarah would if she thought it would win her the election.

Wink!

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Seattle, Wash.: Hey Liz, are you still loving "Mad Men"? I am obsessed with that show and can't wait for Sunday nights. I have a sneaking suspicion though that none of those poor people will ever find happiness.

Liz Kelly: Yes, I love it, too. And Sunday's episode was particularly dark. In fact every time I think the show's reached its nadir, it just keeps getting worse for these people. But it is mesmerizing. I was a little worried about Betty and that kid, but she did the right thing in the end.

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Dog meetings: There are some guidelines for dog introductions, key being that they meet on neutral grounds in a non-threatening area. It would be good to give Page lots of treats from a distance, just as she first starts to see Sally, so she thinks See Dog = Get Treats. Sadly, in cases where dogs don't get along with other dogs, it's often worse when it's female to female.

Liz Kelly: Thanks -- I was thinking a nice wide open space, too. But I'm worried treats would make Page even more wary. She'd want to make sure Sally wasn't getting any.

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I think her parents should be publicly spanked. ....: .....after giving the paps 30 minutes notice to set up their shots.

Liz Kelly: Oh yeah. It would be a well-publicized event.

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Bawlmer: "But as far as I can tell, George's ancient Chinese techniques seem to be limited to growing a moustache."

I think that's the ENTIRETY of the 'ancient Chinese technique' these guys used -- grow facial hair of such magnificence and/or horror that their opponents are transfixed by the very sight. In fact, I think Gen. Ambrose Burnside used this very technique to great effect! (Until he was, you know, forcibly relieved of his command.)

Liz Kelly: There is a certain Post columnist who also practices this technique. It scared the Pulitzer committee into giving him an award this year.

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Alexandria, Va.: Sorry to join late. What's with Taylor Momsen's hideous haircut. She looks like Florence Henderson.

Liz Kelly: I haven't seen. Pix please!

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Methinks: I know the anonymous posters on the blog don't like the 'inside' nature of some of the conversation but I love that so many good-hearted people said kind things to me about my son yesterday and that you, Liz Kelly, just congratulated regular readers/participants on their wedding. Isn't that one of the things the Internet was supposed to do? Help us all hold hands and sing a virtual Kumbaya??

Liz Kelly: That's right. It's like Hands Across America, only bigger... and without actually having to touch anyone. Which is nice.

And, seriously, congrats on having your son home. Take good care of him.

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Buffalo, N.Y.: Okay, how about this for criteria for being considered a star. People have to know who the heck you are! If the HSM kids were stars, we wouldn't need to use HSM, we'd use their names. And I mean names without having to append "of the movie High School Musical fame."

Liz Kelly: I can use their names -- Zac Efron, Ashley Tisdale, Vanessa Hudgens and the other guy.

And one man's star is another's D-lister. If you asked my nine-year-old niece to tell you who George Clooney is, there's a 40 percent chance that she might be able to pick him out of a line-up. But you can just bet she knows Miley Cyrus by just looking at the back of her head. And she -- my niece -- is the one the entertainment industrial complex is trying to attract. We're already too old.

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McLean, Va.: Care to comment on those pictures of Iggy Pop wearing Crocs? Does this mean the end is nigh?

Liz Kelly: Ack! I'm not sure how I missed that last week, but yes, that probably a big clue that we're approaching end times.

Riddle me this, though -- is the sole of the right Croc like 2 inches thicker than the left?

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Page and other dogs: Why don't you get the Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan to help you with Page's meet and greet? I don't have a dog but am obsessed with that show. He helped a pit bull get over her dog aggression in 10 minutes, so Page should be no problem.

Liz Kelly: Okay. Do you have his number handy?

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Political bumper stickers: The poster above made a point about bumper stickers that I was worried about. I've never had a bumper sticker on my car, so this election year, when I decided it was time, I first washed the car so it wouldn't tarnish my candidates' images (I went with 2 bumper stickers). Then, I started being very careful in my driving, not that I'm a bad driver, but I became more conscious that people might be paying attention.

Of course, the downside is that my son has his learner's permit, so it's sometimes him in the driver's seat annoying the other drivers by driving sooo sloooowly and getting a bit too close to the center line. But he's getting better.

Liz Kelly: What I love is seeing people still driving around with seriously outdated stickers -- Kerry/Edwards, etc. They are all over. It's as if the loss of the candidates in question soured them so much on the idea of political bumper stickers that they can't even bring themselves to remove the old ones.

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Hermespal: James McAvoy has been in seven movies in the last three years, including the charming "Penelope," "Becoming Jane," "Last King of Scotland," Narnia...I think he definitely qualifies as star material.

Liz Kelly: Thank you. And when I first read your name -- very quickly -- I thought it said something completely different and highly contagious.

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There are still some new "stars out there": I think the best crop of talent is coming out of TV right now: Jon Hamm smolders as "Don Draper" on Mad Men (the whole cast is great), Anna Paquin already has an Oscar but she oozes charisma on "True Blood" -- list goes on. The difficulty is separating talent from the TMZ/YouTube fame chasers (I'm looking at you Heidi and Spencer!)

Liz Kelly: I think I'll end on this positive, and absolutely correct, comment.

See you back here next week and in the blog tomorrow...

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