Celebritology Live: Madonna's Impending Divorce; Denis Leary on Autism; Help with Hairballs

You've Been Served... a Heaping Plate of Gossip

When stars shave their heads, couch-jump, spend countless minutes in jail, commit a fashion faux pas and/or other random acts of ego-inspired inanity, washingtonpost.com Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly is on the job. Every weekday, Liz shares the buzz, offers perspective and provides crucial links to juicy alternate news sources and, of course, takes your reaction in her daily blog.

Join Liz LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

In her pre-celeb obsessed days (as if!), Liz ran washingtonpost.com's Discussions section, where she enjoyed talking to really interesting people -- sometimes even Post reporters -- on the phone. She still produces Pulitzer-prize winner Gene Weingarten's weekly Chatological Humor discussion and serves as co-proprietress of post.com's "Lost" Central.

Celebritology Live Archive

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Liz Kelly: Afternoon. The financial markets are in crisis, we're witnessing one of the most contentious elections in recent history and, as if that weren't enough, we seem to be on the leading edge of some kind of celeb relationship ending wave. Not only are Madonna and Guy Ritchie throwing in the towel, but Tea Leoni and that David Duchovny are finished. Maybe Tea felt she'd enabled him in his sex addiction or maybe it was just the prospect of watching a few more seasons of him on "Californication."

And, yes, it's true: Angelina Jolie admitted that she and Brad Pitt, hot on the heels of the birth of twins, are considering another adoption. Which would bring their total kid tally up to seven.

Let's get started...

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Woodley Park, NW - Leoni and Billy Bob?!: Carm down fatty! Are you telling me Duchovny and Leoni split NOT because of his sex addiction but because she stepped out with Billy Bob Thornton? Please tell me Perez Hilton is off his rocker on this one.

Duchovny and Wife Split - She's Allegedly Been Cheating! (PerezHilton.com)

Liz Kelly: Well, that's kind of a chicken and egg question, no? I mean, what could possibly have come first in that equation? Either way, if true, the net result seems to be that both David and Tea were getting their bread buttered elsewhere.

And is Billy Bob really that bad? Is it just the Angelina Jolie association or is it -- like me -- the looping soundbyte of "I like me some french friend potaters" echoing through the brain and killing any chance of finding that man attractive?

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GOOP?: Why is it called GOOP? It's driving me crazy. It's not insouciant, just deeply dumb.

Liz Kelly: Well, I assume it has something to do with Gwynnie's initials: G.P. and perhaps the "OO" is meant to represent what's between her ears: ounces and ounces of insouciance.

But that first post surprised me. Gwynnie's own mission statement for the site led me to believe the content would be more along the lines of her recipe for tofu salad and how to properly affect an English accent. Instead, we get deep spiritual advice from Deepak Chopra? I mean, that's all well and good, but Gwynnie didn't even write most of the post. She may be an Oscar winner, but where I come from we call that cheating.

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Washington, D.C.: Hey Liz,

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cancel the chat today. I just have too much to do, and being the poster child for ADD (shut up, Leary!) I won't be able to work if this is going on.

Thanks.

Liz Kelly: I hear you -- and so does Dennis. In fact, he now says his comments on autism were meant to be humorous (oh, ha!) and taken out of context.

As for canceling the chat, I'm afraid I can't. First of all, I'm totally addicted to this chat and secondly, I refuse to leave you all alone with Rob Pegoraro.

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Burbank, Calif.: Hi Liz, love your work!

Just a dumb observation I guess, but I am always bemused by stories that get are speculations weeks earlier (pregnancies, Madge's separation, et al) which are denied to the point of exhaustion...then a week later "Oh yes, it's true." Bad enough to have the event occur, but doesn't this make everyone involved look like morons?!

Liz Kelly: Hmm. I'm considering.

(Imagine time passing as my poor little brain heats up)

No. I don't think so. Or, rather, it depends on the case. Put yourself in Madge's shoes for a moment. Your relationship is in jeopardy. You know in your heart of hearts that things are probably not going to make it with the English one. In fact, so much so that you have already found a new spiritual soulmate in the form of a New York Yankee. But there are kids involved and a history and you feel like you should give things a chance -- like an intensive Kabbalah session. And, when that inevitably fails, you need to get your ducks in a row -- hire a divorce attorney (like Paul McCartney's), tell the kids, and get your story straight with the soon to be ex. Only then do you allow Liz Rosenberg to pull the trigger on official word.

Which is a long-winded way of saying: relationships don't end overnight. It's often a slow, traumatic process that is fraught with indecision. It's hard enough dealing with that particular situation. Now try dealing with it while the world is watching.

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David Dacupcake: He married Tea when I was in high school and I felt he was making a big mistake in not waiting for me to get legal. Any idea where he's hanging out these days?

Liz Kelly: I'm guessing you won't find him at Billy Bob Thornton's house. I'd try the worn-in-looking jeans store or the Sunglass Hut.

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Is Kiki back on the sauce?: Ugh. This does not look good...

Partying With Dunst (Defamer)

Liz Kelly: Oh, I know! I included a link to these pix in yesterday's Mix and things don't look too good for Kirsten's sobriety. Though maybe we shouldn't be worried because, as Kiki herself said:

"I didn't go to Cirque Lodge for alcohol abuse or drug abuse. I went there for depression. "

In which case, pass the Cristal!

Also, looking at the pix again, I'm unable to get past the thought that Kirsten appears to be way, ummm, curvier than I gave her credit for in the passt.

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Silver Spring, Md.: So is a Dominican accent next up for the multilingual Madonna?

Or would that earn the Latina-come-lately a beat-down courtesy of Jenny From the Block?

Liz Kelly: Now now -- Madonna's already proven her Latina cred. Don't you remember her over-the-top flamenco getup from "La Isla Bonita?"

Oh, when that samba played. Indeed.

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Lisa Bonet: Okay, I'm embarrassed to know this, but she's actually having her fourth kid, not her third. She had a son with yoga dude Bryan Kest in the mid-90's that gets missed.

Here's the IMDB listing -- kid #3 is buried in that huge, in-need-of-editing paragraph in the mini bio: Lisa Bonet (IMDb)

Liz Kelly: I'll take your word for it. Haven't the time to check now. Thanks!

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washingtonpost.com: Someone wrote in to ask what the comment, "Has Brangelina gone plumb mad?" meant. I was reacting to Liz's post about the couple thinking about adopting again, right after having twins. But the comment didn't immediately follow Liz's posting. Sorry about that.

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Something happened: Did I miss the Catch-22 chat? I love that book! Please tell me I didn't miss it...

Liz Kelly: You did not. We'll be chatting about Catch-22 on Friday, Nov. 7 at 2 p.m. ET. I'm in the first few chapters and, so far, not loving it. Please tell me why I should hang in there (aside from the fact that I, ya know, have to).

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Los Angeles, Calif. : In defense of Denis Leary, I actually read his initial comment as NOT about legitimate autism disorders but about stupid people with stupid children who try to claim medical problems for their stupidity. Kinda goes along with the book title. Still, touchy subject matter requires a little more finesse.

Liz Kelly: Yeah. I mean, even your description of his motives makes me cringe. I'm thinking Dennis should have kept well clear of this one.

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Inquiring Minds: Since when does Stephen Baldwin know anything about anything? I'm just sayin'.

Liz Kelly: Since never, which I hope I effectively communicated in today's main post.

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The MadonnEX Files: Liz, how could you omit JFK, Jr! They were an item for a while there, too.

Liz Kelly: I think their alleged relationship was mainly confined to rumors of a hot night at a hotel, no? Still, the list wasn't meant to be exhaustive, just to hit Madonna's major relationship stops over the past few decades.

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Bob the Moderator: So Bob Schieffer told Jon Stewart that he would ask a question at the debate that was written by Jon Stewart. Do we know which question it was?

Liz Kelly: You know, I don't. Anyone out there know or want to hazard a guess. Bob's questions were particularly good.

Perhaps the one about the mud-slinging?

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Dakota Fanning -- monster diva teen?: Please tell me it's not true! For whatever reason I like little Dakota and hope she grows up to be a realatively well adjusted former child star (a la Jodie Foster, Brooke Sheilds, Anna Paquin) and not troubled hell on wheels (Britney, Lindsay, Tatum ONeal).

Allegation: Dakota Fanning a Diva From Hell (Defamer)

Denial: Dakota Fannning's 'Diva' Director Sets the Record Straight (Defamer)

Liz Kelly: Well, I wasn't on the set of "Winged Creatures," so I can't vouch for her behavior, or misbehavior. What I can say is that when I met and interviewed Dakota in July at Comic-Con she was poised, warm and utterly accomodating. She didn't seem to have a vain bone in her body and most of the interview she spent gushing about how much she was in awe of her co-stars -- she was promoting "Push," a different movie set for an '09 release.

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Dorkus again: Liz, I read Catch-22 earlier this year for the first time and yeah, the first chapters are kind of slow as they go about introducing everybody, but stick with it til the end, it'll be worth it.

Liz Kelly: Okay, I'll take your word for it. I think maybe it was a jarring change after really getting into "Slaughterhouse 5." It's just such a different tone.

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Milwaukee, Wisc.: Apparently "Rock of Love" is not just spawning bad TV (i.e. Sharon Osbourne's 'Charm School) but plain awful TV: Daisy of Love is scheduled. Seriously? Can we expect any other terrible wannabe-celeb shows on Vh1, MTV, etc.?

Also, I know we've discussed before -- but why does it matter what celebrities think about politics? Drew Barrymore was on Leno last night and gracefully sidestepped questions about who she was supporting. Hayden Panettiere's latest "spoof" is just plain degrading to Sen. McCain no matter what the politics behind it.

Liz Kelly: Re: Daisy and increasingly more horrid reality spin-offs. Daisy was the best part of last season so I'm willing to give her a chance. But with all that we've already seen in this format, I think it's getting a little diluted and a little tired. I mean, despite a seemingly inexhaustible supply of idiots to populate these shows, there are only so many situations they can orchestrate: cat fights, back stabbing, over-the-top outfits, etc. It's getting a bit old. "Charm School" was downright boring. I won't be watching again.

Re: What celebrities think about politics. Nope, it doesn't matter. Or at least not any more than caring what any other random stranger thinks. I'd take each celeb as a separate case though. Some seem to have more of substance to say than others.

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EP: No, you may NOT chat about Catch-22 on November 7. That is day the Maryland Bar results are scheduled to come out. That title is NOT appropriate discussion for the day. Any other day would be fine. Thank you.

Liz Kelly: Hmm, I'll see what we can do.

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TODAY IS NATIONAL FERAL CAT DAY: Alley Cat Allies

Liz Kelly: Okay, thanks. I didn't click through to the site, so I'm taking your word for it that this isn't like cat porn or something.

Speaking of which, here is the latest Andy snap, taken with my iPhone. He's currently resting on the extreme left edge of my desk. Poor little guy has some kind of upper respiratory thing going on. He's had the sniffles and been sneezing for about five days now. We have a call in to the vet.

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GOOP: It's called GOOP because it's a large virtual puddle of goo and poo.

Liz Kelly: Right. It just sounded so much classier when Gwynnie said it.

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Heather Locklear: Lisa de Moraes has written that The Reporters Who Cover Television adore Heather for her sly and biting wit. So I was wondering, what's the latest word on how she's doing?

Liz Kelly: I haven't seen anything about Heather since her arrest a couple of weeks back. This article from a Canadian newspaper claims that Heather made an unsuccessful suicide attempt in the spring and spent a month in a psychiatric facility and continues to be dogged by rumors of cocaine and vicodin addition. All of which seemed to stay relatively below our American media radar.

As for now, she's again staying out of the spotlight. Let's hope she's getting the help she needs.

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Here you go Andy...: Awwww. Andy looks like he needs a bowl of fish and noodle soup. And a hug.

Liz Kelly: Awww, thanks!

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Lisa Bonet: I just looked it up and it looks like she used to live with Bryan Kest but they didn't have a kid. That was a false rumor. Fun fact: I went to his yoga classes in L.A.! Never knew he had a famous ex.

Liz Kelly: Breaking Lisa Bonet update!

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Enough Already: Dear Liz: I really love your work but would you mind cutting it out on the political snarking towards Republicans? Not one of your "Celebs on Politics" examples is critical of Dems and there are legions of childish and ignorant celebrity comments about the GOP. Not only are your slams on Republicans slanted but, more importantly, they are BORING and PREDICTABLE! It's hard enough to find an arts review or Style article that doesn't squeeze in a gratuitous sneer against the GOP. Would you please at least cut back? I really like your insightful and witty comments on the celebrity universe otherwise. Thanks much.

Liz Kelly: Thanks for your thoughts and, hey, I'm just working with the material provided to me by the celebs. And I'm not sure which piece of mine you read, but I cited three examples of celebs who are critical of Dems: Robert Duvall, Stephen Baldwin and the McCain campaign itself.

Thanks for reading and I hope you stick around.

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TODAY IS NATIONAL FERAL CAT DAY: Maybe they can do something about David Duchovny.

Liz Kelly: Best. Comment. Ever.

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Advice from a cat owner to me: Hi Liz,

I don't know if you think of Andy as your child or your friend but regardless of that, I need some advice: I feel like I have a hairball stuck in my throat which, I think, happens to cats, though I am certain mine isn't hair. And Andy is a cat. So how does Andy deal with that and how should I?

Liz Kelly: Well, seeing as how Andy's a cat and I can't really ask him for a detailed explanation, I'll have to go with my powers of observation.

Andy seems to despatch his hairballs by coughing/heaving in a way that looks horrendous and I'm certain feels like ones inside's being pushed out. That works for him.

Caveat: I'm not a doctor, so I can't advice you to try the heaving thing. Also, Andy eats bugs, so I don't know if he can be trusted.

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Baltimore, Md.: I was flipping through the cable news channels last night during the debates, and in between CNN, MSNBC and Fox News was CNN Headline News' Showbiz Tonight.

I couldn't help but think how out of touch that show seemed to be talking about Madge's divorce as if it were as important as the toilet economy and the presidential debates.

Just a thought.

Liz Kelly: Agreed. A couple of thoughts...

First, you're right. The dissolution of Madonna's marriage is hardly on a par with the financial meltdown. But as long as the story was confined to Showbiz Tonight, I'm not seeing any problem. It isn't as if it was topic A in Wolf Blitzer's Situation Room.

Secondly, I firmly believe in giving oneself a mental break from an often doom-filled, gloomy world and if following celebrity gossip provides us with relief, then I'm not going to begrudge anyone a few minutes in which we can forget about the economy or the war.

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Advice from an old Cat handler: When I got my first cat I once paid a vet over $400 to clear up constipation brought on by hairballs -- I now buy some goop for $6.99 to help them pass.

Liz Kelly: Goop?!?!? That's it! Go to this site and you should be hairball-free before you can say Deepak Chopra!

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Stephen Baldwin on...: Don't fault Liz on the Baldwin bashing! SB could make a public statement on the importance of breathing air and it would still sound mronic.

Liz Kelly: Or moronic, even.

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Catch-22: Okay, so I know we're not the same person, but here's why I think you should hang in there: It took me four WEEKS to read the first half. Then it got good. After that I finished the book in four days. Hang in there, and if you're like me, you'll be rewarded.

Liz Kelly: Well, golly, I hope I am because I am ready for my reward. Thanks, tho, to everyone writing in to tell me to keep at it. It's helping, trust me.

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Bow Ties: Hi Liz!

I'm newly obsessed with the Rachel Zoe project. The new assistant Brad is often sporting bow ties with his tennis sweaters and Rachel is always commenting on his impeccable sense of style. This got me thinking back to Jon Stewart's appearance on Crossfire, when he, among other things, made fun of Tucker Carlson for wearing bow ties. So I googled, "Who wears bow ties?" and came across aList of Bow Tie Wearers (Wikipedia)addressing exactly that question.

According to Wikipedia, people choose to wear bow ties to make a statement, or have a trademark. (It also says that, post-Crossfire, Tucker has stopped wearing them.) I know you have strong feelings about pleated pants. Do you have an opinion on bow ties?

Liz Kelly: Thanks. This is an interesting list. Bow ties aren't quite pleats, but not every man can pull one off. Brad, you're right, looks adorable in his. Mr. Liz, on the other hand, once wore a bow tie to a wedding and was mistaken for a waiter about 20 times. Context, I suppose.

Also, re: Rachel Zoe. We need to talk about the elephant -- the malnourished elephant in the room. That woman is seriously underweight. She's 36 and her face looks decades older. Her chest is sunken in. Why is no one calling her -- or Bravo -- out on glamorizing what has all the earmarks of being an unhealthy lifestyle? And please don't tell me she's just thin. I know thin and she's way past thin.

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Dorkus: I just wanted to give story about how much Celebritology has affected my life. I was at a bar last night for the weekly trivia game and one of the questions was 'What is the name of Paris Hilton's dog?' I correctly answered Tinkerbell. I must say I have never felt so proud and so ashamed at the same time. Liz Kelly you rock!

Liz Kelly: Awww, thanks! And stay tuned -- fellow blogger Kim O'Donnel and I are in the early stages of planning a meet-and-greet happy hour in December. I'll keep you posted as details are set.

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Richmond, Va.: I think the 'OP' in GOOP refers to Oprah. Tell me that Gwyneth is not channeling her inner Oprah here. I lost interest after the Clean Your Space suggestion. I threw some more stuff on the floor just at the thought of it.

Liz Kelly: I like your style.

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Who's a celeb?: Is Joe the Plumber a celebrity now, even though it's been revealed that he doesn't have a plumber's license?

Liz Kelly: Joe the Plumber's level of celebrity is equivalent to that of Joey Buttafuoco.

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Is it just me ?: There is a strange phenomenom at The Post of making statements by asking questions, no?

Liz Kelly: What's your point?

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Liz Kelly: Doh -- vet's on the phone to advise me on Andy.

Till next week!

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Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.