In a city loaded with diverse restaurants, from New American chic and upscale Italian to sandwich shops and burritos on the run, finding the best places to eat can be a real puzzle. Where's the best restaurant for a first date or an anniversary? Father's Day? What's the best burger joint? Who has the best service?

Ask Tom. Tom Sietsema, The Washington Post's food critic, is on hand Wednesdays at 11 a.m. ET to answer your questions, listen to your suggestions and even entertain your complaints about Washington dining. Sietsema, a veteran food writer, has sampled the wares and worked as a critic in Washington, Seattle, San Francisco and Milwaukee, and can talk restaurants with the best of 'em. You can access his Postcards from Tom to read his recommendations for other cities, read his dining column, First Bite and the Dish or read transcripts of previous "Ask Tom" chats. Tom's Sunday magazine reviews, as well as his "Ask Tom" column, are available early on the Web.

For more restaurant chatter, join Sietsema's Table, Tom's new discussion group about dining experiences.

The transcript follows.

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Former Washingtonian: First time poster, long time reader needs help. I am traveling to CA in December to celebrate my big 30! We are going to stay in San Fran for a day before heading to the wine country. I would love for you to recommend a restaurant for my husband and I that is memorable. Now the hard party, we will be traveling with our four month old daughter. She has been going to restaurants since she was two weeks old.

Thank you in advance!

Tom Sietsema: You're in luck! I'm in San Francisco this week, checking out all the new restaurants that have opened since my last visit.

I don't want to give TOO much away, since I'll be writing about some of these venues later this month for the Travel section, but I can say I admire the light-filled, Peruvian-inspired La Mar Cebicheria Peruana on the Embarcadero, which comes with water views, and the newish Berretta for pizza and top-notch cocktails in the Mission District. Both are on the loud side -- perfect if your little diner pipes up.

Unlike Washington restaurants, San Francisco establishments have no qualms about airing their political views. At lunch at Zuni Cafe, a long-time favorite of mine, yesterday's menu read "ElectiOn Day." The "o" was upper-case, just like on Obama's campaign buttons.

Happy Wednesday, everyone. It's 8 a.m. out here, but I'm braced with my usual four shots of espresso. Let's rock 'n' roll!

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Obama's Dining Habits? (Santa Barbara, Calif.): Hi Tom -

D.C. native traveling this week. Any scoop on what Obama's dining out habits might be? Bush-I frequented a few D.C./Va. establishments, Clinton was known to be spotted at D.C. hotspots, whereas Bush-II rarely ventured outside the White House. Any thoughts how Obama might frequent our scene? Thanks!

Tom Sietsema: My SF friends have told me that Alice Waters, the Mother of California Cuisine, has had a handful of fundraisers for Obama and that she may likely influence the future First Family's eating choices. I know Waters has long advocated a White House garden, for instance. Restaurant-wise, I'm guessing (hoping!) Obama and family are pretty broad (open-minded) eaters.

I'd love to hear from chatters on this subject.

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Washington, D.C.: Hi there- Actually some good news to report - I've been feeling depressed about my Foodie Habit because my shrinking 401(k) makes me feel guilty about going out to nice dinners... but I did go out to an old favorite, the 1789 last week. I've heard about all the shake ups there on this chat, but the food and service were great - and $40 price fixe for three courses. We had some wine, so our total was higher, but not high enough to make me feel guilty for the rest of the weekend!

Tom Sietsema: Forty dollars for three courses at one of the city's most venerable restaurants? Sounds like a deal to me!

washingtonpost.com: First Bite on 1789's New Chef

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McLean, Va.: Hi Tom. Do you know anything about the Monterey Bay Fish Grotto in McLean, Va.? Thanks!

Tom Sietsema: I have yet to try it out, but my former Food section colleague Walter Nicholls had this to say about the place earlier this year:

washingtonpost.com: First Bite: Monterey Bay Fish Grotto

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Washington, D.C.: RE: Substitutions. Man, I feel bad now! I have health issues that require me to be on a very strict low-potassium diet, and so I have to ask for substitutions some of the time. They're usually not a big deal (a salad instead of fries, no nuts, etc), but now I'm curious as to whether this is really a faux pas or not? Without those substitutions, it would be extremely difficult for me to eat out sometimes!

Tom Sietsema: It is certainly no faux pas to ask for a substitution with a restaurant meal, although I think it's rude for a diner to completely redo a chef's idea. (There are exceptions, of course, but I think you get the idea.)

I think most restaurants do their best to accomodate diners with special needs, provided the restaurants have suitable substitions on hand and they're given advance notice. If I had special diet needs, I'd let them be known ahead of a restaurant visit.

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Alexandria, Va.: Can I share a story about a chef denying a customer request and everyone walking away thrilled with the outcome? My husband and I went to the Village Bistro in Arlington about 2 weeks ago. We are BIG fans of Rhode Island style calamari - lightly fried squid tossed in garlic butter and hot cherry peppers - YUM. We saw on the menu 'Bistro Calamari' which was sauteed squid with garlic, herbs and a beurre blanc sauce - we thought it sounded yummy, but we wanted those squid crunchy...and since Fried Calamari were also on the menu, we asked our waitress, Hilary, if we could have the fried squid tossed in the Bistro sauce. She was game to try asking the chef, but warned us ahead of time that it was an unusual request. She came back sweet, but apologetic, stating that the chef wouldn't do it - but he would send out a side of beurre blanc sauce with an order of the fried calamari - so we could at least try the sauce. We were happy with that - though a little disappointed that he wouldn't just toss them in the kitchen. UNTIL the fried calamari came out, and we saw that they had a cornmeal crust, which would have turned into instant mush if the chef had introduced them to the sauce in a hot pan back in the kitchen. We understood immediately why he'd said "no" and were very glad that he had. We got to drizzle that yummy wine and garlic sauce on the crispy calamari without making mush - and as a bonus, we sopped up some of the sauce with their fresh bread and made our mouths very happy. The rest of our meal was fantastic too - Lobster Ravioli with rock shrimp and seared scallops with linguini. It was our first date night since the birth of our second son - and we walked away very, very happy. Just wanted to give an example of customers not getting what they asked for - but being thrilled with the outcome because of a good waitress and a very smart chef.

Tom Sietsema: I'm pleased to share your story. I love happy endings!

(The anecdote reminds us that there might be a good reason why we hear "no" from chefs on occasion.)

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Phoenix, Md.: Last year, my wife and I went to L'Auberge Provencal for her birthday. It was a special package for two nights including one dinner. I was shocked when I saw the wine list. Only three wines were priced under $100. The least expensive was $68. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it at the time (and put a damper on her birthday), but I wonder if they had a "special" wine list to make up some of the money on the package savings. What do you suggest I should have done?

Tom Sietsema: Wow, the least expensive wine was $68? I would have asked if there was something in the cellar, or on another list, that the server could suggest for under $60 (or whatever price you felt comfortable with).

L'Auberge's cooking these days doesn't merit such lofty prices; I'm basing that on a dinner I had in early fall, just before my fall guide deadline.

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Cramped in D.C.: This past weekend I was reminded again why I sometimes dislike going out to eat... the way too close proximity of one table to another. Both this meal at Founding Farmers, and previous meals at Central and others I've thoroughly enjoyed my food only to have a slight damper on the evening that is hearing every word of the conversation at the next table. Why must restaurants insist on putting little more than one foot of room between tables that share a common bench seat?? I know, I know, more tables, more money. In my opinion, if the servers for both tables can't be table side at the same time, it's too close.

And for future visitors to Founding Farmers, if you're steered towards the Penn. Ave side on the upper level to the spot with 3 tables squished between floor-to-ceiling walls/columns, take my advice and ask for another location!

Tom Sietsema: Funny, I was at FF just last week, and I, too, noticed the close proximity of the tables there. But my particular perch was separated by a thin, frosted-glass divider, which allowed for some privacy (if not much room to stretch).

washingtonpost.com: First Bite: Founding Farmers

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Boston, Mass.: Hi Tom!

This is more of a wine question than food but I thought you may be able to help me out.

I'm hosting a wine tasting party this weekend and because of the election decided to have an all-American theme. I wanted to get a selection of wines, half from blue states and half from red states and then my guests could vote! However, with more of the map turning blue than I could have hoped for I'm wondering if any of the remaining red states make decent wine? I was kind of counting on Va. Does Texas have vineyards?

Glad to have this problem but wondering if I need to re-work my theme

Tom Sietsema: I think wine is grown in most, if not all, 50 states, although there's a lot of inferior stuff out there, as you might imagine (rhubarb wine from Iowa, I can attest, is not stellar sipping). Texas DOES make wine, but I don't recall drinking anything from the "red" state. Maybe you can ask Dave McIntyre on today's Food section chat? He's our terrific new wine columnist.

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Bethesda, Md.: Tom, are there any Portugese restaurants in the area that you recommend? I'm originally from coastal Mass. where there's a big Portugese population. Location and price doesn't matter, I just want to some decent razor clams, chorizo, escarole and bean soup, and butter tarts. I heard there's a place in Chevy Chase called Tavira? And another restaurant/take out in either Silver Spring or Wheaton? Can you confirm please?

Tom Sietsema: The only Portugese restaurant I've experienced is, in fact, the one you already know about. I like it a great deal.

washingtonpost.com: Tom on Tavira

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MD Mtns: Hi Tom, First off, thank you so much for the postcards, chats and columns -- never has a food critic encompassed the range of info that you do! I noticed your postcard from San Diego is over 2 years old and we're headed to SD and Ensenada for our anniversary (falls on Thanksgiving) and were hoping for cheap and memorable dining. Any tips? Also, if anyone heads to VOLT for lunch, the lamb pastrami with lentil soup and the burger are amazing.

Tom Sietsema: I wish I could return your bouquet with a tip or two, but I haven't returned to San Diego since my last Postcard from there. Maybe a reader can help out?

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Arlington, Va.: Hi Tom! I was wondering why some restaurants won't take parties larger than 4 people. My parents want to take my brother and husband out for their birthdays (along with their spouses) and we've been turned away from one of the top rated restaurants in the city. Is a party of ix really so difficult to handle? We're really bummed since we were all looking forward to going to this particular place everyone raves about. Oh well. Guess we'll just have to choose somewhere else.

Tom Sietsema: I'm out of town and away from my files, but some restaurants have valid reasons for not accepting groups larger than four, six or whatever.

The size of the room, the arrangement of the tables, and the comfort of customers are all factors that restaurateurs tell me they consider when accepting reservations.

Maybe someone from the industry can weigh in on the question with more insight?

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Alexandria, Va.: Hi Tom, I noticed Sunday's Editor's Note on Commissary. Can you comment on the situation? -- a long-time fan

Tom Sietsema: I've received a bunch of similar questions, and I appreciate the many notes of support.

Let me be brief. I made a mistake reviewing the restaurant because of a past personal relationship with one of the principals. I believe the issue has been handled appropriately.

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Washington, D.C.: I wanted to make a reservation at Chef Geoff's for Thanksgiving but they require a credit card. Is this standard practice nowadays for making a reservation?

Tom Sietsema: Yep, a lot of restaurants require credit card numbers to confirm reservations for special occasions or particularly busy times, Thanksgiving being one of them.

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Rockville, Md.: Thanks for doing these chats. For everyone who's been missing Louisiana Express in Bethesda - it is reopened as Louisiana Kitchen on Cordell in Bethesda - in the space that was formerly New Orleans Bistro. My husband and I have been back four times since we found out. The food is as good as ever (maybe even better).

Tom Sietsema: It's true. A lot of fans have written to let me know the new place has opened. I checked it out for brunch a few weeks ago, and watched as one of the owners went around greeting long-time patrons. (Note to the kitchen: You need to work on the biscuit recipe. Our biscuits were dry and heavy.)

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Office holiday party: Hi Tom, submitting early because, cough cough, I might be sick on Wed and not able to participate. I'm planning my office's holiday party and was wondering if you could suggest an appropriate place. There will be 30-35 of us so we need a place big enough to house us but won't charge us a room rental or require a min food tab. Since we work for a Federal agency we'd each pay for our own meal. We've done lunch at Luigi's in Dupont and Old Ebbitt. I've thought of Maggiano's but the price is a minimum of $35 a person. Since we have a range of salaries we want to make it fair for everyone. Can you suggest any other place?

Thanks!

Tom Sietsema: How about the sexy wine bar above Bistrot Lepic ikn Georgetown? Johnny's Half Shell on the Hill? The second flor at Mark and Orlando's in Dupont Circle? Straits of Malaya on 18th?

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Monteray Bay Seafood Grotto: No, no, no, don't go! It is the WORST restaurant I've eaten at in the DC area, bar none. The fish was dry and didn't taste fresh, and the prices were way too high for what they served. I think the owners are aiming at a suburban crowd used to chain restaurant fare.

Tom Sietsema: Which is not to say that suburban crowds can't have good taste, or chains can't do good work, right?

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Anonymous: For the chatter hosting the red state/blue state wine party, this is a fun article from Time Magazine where a wine citic sampled 50 wines from all 50 states. It's awfully funny, and has some good info too. Link: http://www.time.com/time/2008/50_american_wines/

Tom Sietsema: To the rescue! Thanks, Anonymous.

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Washington, D.C.: Texas does make wine, and it's good! Try wineries in the Texas Hill Country, such as Texas Hill Vineyard. Go to texaswinetrail.com. Been there, done it and loved it. Wish I could have brought back more!

Tom Sietsema: Great. Thanks again.

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Shepherd Park, D.C.: Tom,

I just read your First Bite on Founding Farmers. Lots of description about the place, but the only mention of what the food is like is this: "The Southern pan-fried chicken tastes true to its roots..." -- is it worth a try?

Tom Sietsema: Unless I really don't care for a place, I tend (TEND) to avoid detailing the food of a new restaurant in my First Bites column. Full reviews generally follow those initial impressions, but not always. It just depends.

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Alexandria: re: Sunday's magazine -- you've been to Timpano recently? I thought you hated that place.

I love the decor and still go there before a concert, but goodness does that food need some help.

Tom Sietsema: I wrote about the restaurant in a wine pricing context. I wasn't reviewing it.

washingtonpost.com: Ask Tom: The Price of Wine

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Re: San Francisco: For the person traveling from San Francisco to wine country, I have to recommend making a pit stop in Santa Rosa. Russian River Brewing Company has some of the best beer in the country and is beloved by so many beer nerds. Also Rozzo Pizzeria has a the best burrata and their pladines are delicious.

Tom Sietsema: I may have to change my itinerary as I move north later this week! Thanks for the ideas.

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Alexandria, Va.: Cafe Sevilla restaurant has excellent Spanish food in San Diego. It's in the trendy Gaslamp area. I look forward to eating there again when my wife and I head out that way in January.

http://www.cafesevilla.com/locs/sanDiego/index.html

Tom Sietsema: That's a start, San Diego-Bound Chatter.

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Chevy Chase: I'm dining solo in San Fran next week, staying by the Embarcadero - any suggestions?

Tom Sietsema: La Mar (mentioned earlier) has a GREAT bar for solo diners.

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Washington, D.C.: Tom, perhaps you've already answered this question elsewhere, but why no inclusion of Tosca in the Dining Guide?

Tom Sietsema: I've been an admirer in the past, but my two most recent meals there were unexceptional (and expensive). Let me amend that: Some dishes were merely OK and felt repetitive.

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For San Diego: I went to George's at the Cove in La Jolla with a group and it was fabulous - good food, amazing view and our waiter was able to split the check 5 ways - 2 of the five were a couple and there was no problem with creating 4 separate bills!

Tom Sietsema: George's has been around for ages. Probably a good choice.

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Alexandria, Va.: Tom,

Just wanted to make sure you know that the folks at Cafe Pizzaiolo in Arlington have just opened a second location in Alexandria on Mt. Vernon Avenue, Pizzaiolo Cafe & Bar. I was there yesterday and they have the same amazing Neapolitan and N.Y. style pizzas plus some new pasta dishes. I stuck with the pizza, but my dining companion tried the lasagna and said it was the best he'd ever had. The owners are brave to open a new restaurant in this economy, but I think that their fabulous food and good prices will make them real players in the local food scene.

And no - I don't own the restaurant or work for them. You always ask people that when they offer an unsolicited endorsement of a restaurant, so I'm just beating you to the punch!

Tom Sietsema: Boy, this sure sounds like an insider writing in, but I pass the post along for its news value.

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Matchbox on the Hill:: I heard that Matchbox on the Hill will not be opening due to the economy - say it ain't so Tom!

Tom Sietsema: I've not heard anything like that, and I think one of the owners would have contacted me with the news were that the case.

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Washington, D.C.: Tom - is coffee sometimes free at certain restaurants? I've noticed on a few occasions that the coffee is not on our bill - should I be bringing it up to the server?

Tom Sietsema: Yes you should! If only for the good karma (and peace of mind) it will bring you.

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Washington, D.C.: Hi Tom,

As former host at a popular Georgetown establishment, their rationale for not taking parties larger than 4 was due to the size of the restaurant/tables, time required to reserve that space, and money lost due to last minute cancellations. In some instances a manager would override the policies against large parties, so I would suggest asking to speak with a manager.

Tom Sietsema: Thanks for the background and advice.

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Silver Spring, Md.: On the issue of tables of greater than 4... With all the no shows these days, it is a much bigger risk for a restaurant to take a reservation for say, 8 than for 4.

Just last Saturday night, we had a prime time table of 8 (7:30 p.m.) call us at around 7:15 to say they would be just 4 and then they called at 8 p.m. to say they would not be showing up. While we did seat the table eventually, and the loss was minimized, a party of 4 sitting at a large table just does not generate the same revenue for the restaurant or the waiter, whose income is dependent on tips.

And secondly, the track record of large parties showing up on time is far lower than that of smaller parties so the table needs to be booked for a longer time.

Tom Sietsema: And readers wonder why restaurants ask for credit card guarantees ....

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ArlingtOn, Va.: Hi, Tom. Do you know if the new restaurant in the former Viridian space is open yet? We will be going to the Studio Theatre next Saturday and would like to have an early dinner there. Thanks!

Tom Sietsema: You better look elsewhere (Rice, the Thai place, comes to mind). The casual Italian restaurant, from the ownwers of Tosca, is taking longer than planned to launch. I believe they're still waiting for an oven?

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Washington, D.C.: Tom,

I have some rather adventurous friends coming in on Sunday from the sunny Midwest and would like to show them a good, but moderately priced, time. They are staying in Dupont, so I was thinking Marrakesh would be fun. I then noticed Cafe Troupe's menu and was intrigued. Any suggestions?

Thanks!

Tom Sietsema: Having been to both, can I make a suggestion? The Greek-themed Mourayo, also in Dupont, is way better. And if the restautant has goat on the menu, go for it!

washingtonpost.com: Mourayo

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Alexandria, Va.: Re Substitutions: It won't work at every place, but another strategy to keep in mind is to "hold" the whatever-it-is-you-can't-eat and order a side or an appetizer instead to customize your meal. I can understand a chef not wanting to substitute something else they have a limited amount of that is supposed to go with a different dish, but they can't stop you for wanting an appetizer to eat with your meal instead.

Tom Sietsema: Right, but you'll also be expected to pay for the add-on, unless the item is similarly priced.

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Arlingtongue: Regarding the "free" coffee not on the bill, I would be tempted to treat the odd drink that did not find its way on the bill in a restaurant the same way I would in a bar: assume it was done on purpose and tip an appropriate extra amount for the gesture. I once had to endure one of my parents almost arguing with a waiter that the coffee charges were not on the bill and having the waiter repeatedly reply, "Yes. I know. It is alright."

Tom Sietsema: Well, if the "freebie" is brought to the attention of the restaurant and cleared, fine. But in the rish of service, waiters sometimes make mistakes -- both for and against customers, I should point out. I never "assume" anything.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Last add on no shows. That was just one of three no shows for parties of 4 or more last Saturday alone! So if you wonder why sometimes you have to wait for your reservation, it is because a restaurant has little choice but to overbook these days. Or to charge a no show fee with faxed confirmations and contracts for your table.

Tom Sietsema: Diners, you catch that? Being on time is important. And calling to cancel is CRUCIAL.

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Monterey Seafood: Tom- I just HAVE to add my 2 cents. I've been a couple times (I have meetings with PricewaterhouseCoopers in the same building) and found them unfailingly polite and the food, fantastic. The first time I dined there (in July) I was in a hurry and they recommended a seafood salad- a special. It was fantastic, but was about 10.00 more than any other salad on the menu. One of the staff noticed my expression when I got the bill- I certainly wouldn't have complained, it was my choice- but I was surprised. When I told him why I had that expression, he immediately apologized- the salad had been his recommendation and took the delta off the bill. I wasn't expecting any accommodation, but the food and attitudes will have me coming back EVERY time I'm in Tysons. I eat out very frequently- close to your level and this is one of my favorites.

Tom Sietsema: Fair is fair. Here's another viewpoint.

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Washington, D.C.: For San Diego - check out JSix Restaurant in the Gaslamp. I had a very nice dinner there last year.

Tom Sietsema: Me, too -- albeit about three years ago now.

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Re: Obama eating habits: I heard a story on NPR about a month ago about Obama's favorite Chicago restaurant. This is the amazing Mexican restaurant Topolobampo, run by Rick Bayless. In the story, Bayless talked a bit about the Obamas and cooking for them. The chatter could probably go to the NPR Web site and find the story. (There's a similar story on McCain's favorite Annapolis restaurant.)

IIRC, the interviewer asked Bayless if he thought he'd be asked to be the White House chef. Bayless clearly didn't think that was going to happen, but suggested he'd be interested to be involved in some way.

A friend told me that Rick Bayless tried to open a Mexican restaurant in D.C. some years ago, but that it didn't go over well because people wouldn't eat anything that wasn't a burrito or taco. Hopefully things have evolved since then.

Bayless' Mexican food is wonderful; when in Chicago, definitely try to go to Topolobampo or the more affordable Frontera Grill.

Tom Sietsema: Rick Bayless has perhaps THE best Mexican restaurants in the country. I can't imagine him saying Washington wasn't up for the real deal, though.

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Washington, D.C.: Help! My wife's 30th birthday is this weekend and I need a dinner reservation. Something in D.C. or MoCo, under $200 for dinner with wine and tip, not too noisy, and any cuisine. Dessert must be great, and a divine steak would help. Thank you.

Tom Sietsema: Good sir, you're planning such an important dinner NOW?

Get on the horn, pronto, and see if Corduroy, Cashion's or the Source has a place for the two of you.

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Recently Pregnant in Falls Church: For the pregnant woman in last week's chat looking for Asian take-out in Falls Church, I had to follow up. I survived pregnancy bedrest (in Falls Church) this summer on take-out. In addition to Four Sisters, which is wonderful to have in our area, I'd add Maneki Neko -Japanese- (we love their teriyaki and my husband enjoys the california rolls) which is on Broad St. and Myanmar -Burmese- on Lee Highway. Wishing her good luck!

Tom Sietsema: Thanks for the follow-up!

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Pancake: I read the Obamas have a family habit of pancake breakfast on Sunday so they will not be very pleased with the dearth of weekend brunch options in D.C. Fortunately they have a chef at home though.

Tom Sietsema: Actually, brunches are easier to find than breakfasts around here.

Where should we steer the Obama family for pancakes, in case the chef doesn't tag along to 1600 Penn.?

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Silver Spring, Md.: For the solo diner near the Embarcadero--the bar at The Slanted Door will please, I promise.

Tom Sietsema: Also delicious, but not new.

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Freebees: Not asking is obviously self-serving. If I have history with the restaurant that's one thing, but otherwise I always point out ... we actually ordered rice later in the meal.

And you know what - most of the time I've found my honesty gets rewarded and the item gets waved away in a fit of largesse.

Good karma and good pocketbook - hard to compete with that!

Tom Sietsema: No arguement from me!

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Last minute restaurant for wife's birthday: Tom, In my experience and sharing with other women, he's more the rule than the exception. My husband has asked me day of, where I want to go...I now plan my celebrations. Takes the surprise out, but also the disappointment.

Tom Sietsema: Really? Sorry to hear that. I see we're treading into Ms. Hax territory here ....

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U Street: I make a mean pancake, I'd be happy to have them over. We can talk about how last night's celebration kept me awake way too long...

Tom Sietsema: The Secret Service will be over any moment now ...

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Arlington, Va.: Any recommendations for a good restaurant for someone who had a depressing night last night? A red decor is a plus.

Tom Sietsema: Um, how about some red MEAT? I'm thinking Capitol Grille, starting with a first course of stone crabs .... (and is this the Republican I think it is?)

That's all for today, folks. Thanks for joining me. See you next Wednesday!

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