Washington Sketch

Post columnist Dana Milbank, who serves as the capital's foremost critic of political theater in his Washington Sketch columns and videos, was online from a Capitol Hill hearing room, where Detroit executives were being grilled by skeptical senators Thursday, Dec. 4, taking your questions and comments about the things politicians say -- and the absurd ways they find to say them.

A transcript follows.

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Dana Milbank: Start your engines, ladies and gentlemen. I'm in the Dirksen Senate Office Building for the redo of the Big 3 Bailout Hearing. This afternoon, Detroit's chiefs are in a drag race to see who can be the most contrite. My money is on Wagoner from GM, whose already announced that he arrived this morning in an electric car, is giving up the corporate airplanes, and will work for a dollar a year.

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Odenton, Md.: Dana -

Are the lawmakers just putting on a big show before they cave in and bail out the auto industry because they know how unpopular the bail out is?

Also, did you happen to see what type of hybrid the executives were driving? Did they carpool? Are their hybrids new super modified cars?

I feel like flying coach would have been a better message to send.

Dana Milbank: Some are putting on a better show than others.

"Any sensible banker would summarily dismiss your request," Richard Shelby just growled.

This morning Wagoner arrived in a Volt, which is not actually available to the driving public. Apparently he came down from Detroit in a Malibu hybrid or some such as part of a three-car convoy.

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Minn.: So tourists were stinking up the Capitol? What odor do the legislators impart?

washingtonpost.com: Do You Smell Something? (Washington Sketch, Dec. 3)

Dana Milbank: Moth-balls.

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Arlington, Va.: Should we, the smelly public, pitch in and buy Harry Reid a gas mask? What a weird thing to say.

Dana Milbank:

And while you're at it please buy some Advil for Jim Manley, Reid's top flack.

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Greenbelt, Md.: Can you comment on AIG paying its executives "retention pay" since they were not allowed to give them bonuses?

Dana Milbank: I bet they thought this up on one of those golf junkets.

Meantime I'm thinking they should dock Chris Dodd's pay for the way he's running this hearing. He put everybody to sleep with a two hour first panel this morning with the head of the GAO, and now he's larded up the Big Three panel with the head of the auto dealerships from his homestate of Connecticut. And he's already mentioned that he has an Escape but is considering a Tahoe. . .

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Baltimore, Md.: I think the Big 3 executives should have come from Detroit via Greyhound bus. That's how broke people travel.

Dana Milbank: Matter of fact, Chairman Dodd just asked them about whether they might get back into the bus business. Lots of eye rolling in the press section. However badly the automotive industry is run, it's hard to imagine things would do better if Dodd were the CEO of GM.

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Lake Elmo, Minn.: Would you like to respond to the emerging controversy involving Washington Post National Political Reporter Shailagh Murray and yourself? You wrote that during Ted Stevens' farewell to the senate speech that Ms Murray was "crying like a baby." When confronted last week with your observation Ms Murray replied - and I quote - "That is SO NOT TRUE." Concerning her "TRUE" feelings towards Stevens, Murray went on to insist that "Money doesn't impress me so I could care less." Over and above what this comment might suggest about Ms. Murray's personal life, since you referred to yourself as getting "a bit misty eyed" over Stevens' speech, was Murray obliquely suggesting that you are a person impressed by "Money?"

washingtonpost.com: Post Politics Hour with Shailagh Murray (washingtonpost.com, Nov. 25)

Dana Milbank:

An excellent question. Possibly my eyes were so misty that I thought Shailagh was crying but in fact she was having an allergy problem. In any event, I now weep openly for the loss of Ted Stevens and his shiatsu massage lounger.

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Dana Milbank: Bulletin!

The Big Three chiefs say they will drive BACK to Detroit, too. A rough transcript of the excellent questioning that has just occurred to elicit such an answer:

Shelby: Did you drive? Did you have a driver? Did you ride a little drive a little? You going to drive back?

Dodd: Where'd you stay? What did you eat?

Shelby: The chair wants to make light of this.

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Volt!: You just did an excellent car review. The GM CEO drove down in a Tahoe or something, but he took the Volt to the capital, because the Volt can't drive that far, but he wanted to show it off. That's the problem with this car, which is supposed to be GM's great savior: it has about a 40 mile limit on the battery. Who needs Road and Track?

Dana Milbank: Yes, word around here is they had to bring it over on a flatbed or some such.

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Silver Spring: I find it absolutely incredible that the following question is not asked of the automakers: if you file for bankrupcty do you mean you will stop operating at all? I don't think anyone believes that will happen. We have seen many big companies go through bankruptcy -- what makes these different?

Dana Milbank:

Well, the guy from Moody's Economy just said liquidation is virtually certain in bankruptcy. Or something like that. I'm not in the mood to quarrel with Moody's.

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Penfield, N.Y.: Who won or lost in the minds of the reporting world? Obama or Peter Baker?

washingtonpost.com: NYT's Peter Baker questions Barack Obama at 12/1 press conference (CNN via YouTube)

Dana Milbank:

No contest: Baker.

I liked how Obama spoke of quotes "generated" during the campaign, as if they came from some sort of a word processing program rather than his mouth.

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Cryin' over Stevens : As a Christmas present, you're getting Sarah Palin in the other Alaska Senate seat, after a hair-pulling moose-shooting free-for-all campaign against Lisa Murkowski. So dry your tears, you big baby.

Dana Milbank:

Shhh. I know, I know, but let's not jinx it.

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I now weep openly for the loss of Ted Stevens and his shiatsu massage lounger: Buck up, cowboy. You've now got Hillary as SoS to sketch as she waves at the legions of imaginary people she'll visit in the course of her world travels.

Dana Milbank:

True. In the spirit of the season I am now counting my blessings. And yet, sitting in Dirksen 106 right now, I note with a lump in the throat that this may be the last time I ever lay eyes on Liddy Dole as a U.S. senator.

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prank calls: So, what did president-elect Obama want to say to Rep. Ros-Lehtinen? I have to admit that after seeing her on Bill Maher's show, she struck me as perhaps the only Republican member of Congress I could respect -- and of course her reaction to the calls is great.

washingtonpost.com: Obama or an Obama-Impersonator? Ros-Lehtinen Flubs the Call (44 blog, Dec. 3)

Dana Milbank:

No doubt a courtesy call to a top player in foreign affairs. But of more interest, here's Ros-Lehtinen's version of the hang ups.

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Anonymous: According to the story I saw about the White House refusing to use a Christmas tree ornament submitted by a Congressman since it was linked to a representative who called for Bush's impeachment, the Bushes stipulated that all submitted ornaments be red, white and blue. Aren't both the Bushes and the Congressman further secularizing the holiday? I would expect this of a liberal, godless member of Congress but I am a bit surprised to see the Bushes participating in the War on Christmas.

washingtonpost.com: White House Won't Hang Christmas Impeachment Ornament (The Reliable Source)

Dana Milbank: But they DID let the artist attend the White House Christmas Party. How's that for holiday goodwill?

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Real sacrifice: If they wanted to show some real sacrifice they should have driven in an old Chevy Chevette or Ford Fiesta. Or a Geo Metro since they are now considered chic because they get like 50 MPH or something like that. Who knew driving a Geo Metro would become chic? Times they are a changing.

Dana Milbank:

Well, Wagoner ate at a Quiznos at a Pennsylvania rest stop on his way down yesterday. That counts as sacrifice, doesn't it?

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Folsom, Calif.: When are you going to hound Rahm Emanuel for earning $18 million in two years from the financial industry now under fire?

washingtonpost.com: In Banking, Emanuel Made Money and Connections (NY Times)

Dana Milbank: I will hang up on him the next time he calls!

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San Francisco, Calif.: One more. Will the senators ask GM why they are spending millions advertising a car NOBODY CAN BUY, instead of cars they have today? Has nobody heard of the Osborne Effect?

washingtonpost.com: The Osborne effect is exhibited when a company's premature revelation of information about future products results in customers not purchasing (or delaying purchases of) the current offering. (Wikipedia)

Dana Milbank: I had no idea Ozzy was an economist.

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Chattanooga, Tennessee: In your heart of hearts you know damn well that what Baker did falls under the category of cheap shots. And judging from your sketch the other day, I'd say you were a little jealous that you weren't the one to deliver it.

Dana Milbank:

Curious. When we held President Bush to account for the words he uttered, it was called good, solid reporting. Now it's called a cheap shot.

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Follow-up: So if Moody's is right, won't Toyota/Honda/Nissan etc. buy up the factories, convert them to their models, and still buy from suppliers? And won't the dealers change to those companies?

Dana Milbank: The obvious danger is the would convert all of the facilities into Quiznos restaurants.

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St. Paul, Minn.: Isn't it fitting that Franken's comedic background has turned our Senate election into a farce comedy? When will it be over, for real?

Dana Milbank:

Yes, Minnesota, you are the new Florida. The election will only end when Katherine Harris certifies a winner. I hear she is on her way up there now, riding on a horse.

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New York : Senator Chris Matthews. Chief of Staff, Dana Milbank? Has a ring to it, huh?

Dana Milbank:

The Washington Sketch wishes to go on the record emphatically in support of a Chris Matthews Senate campaign in Pennsylvania. Also a Terry McAuliffe gubernatorial campaign in Virginia. And a Hank Williams Jr. Senate campaign in Tennessee. That is my list for Santa.

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Dana Milbank:

Dole has just started her questioning. Will this be the last time I hear her honey drawl as she reads every word from the paper her staff gave her? The heart aches. . .

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Tuckahoe, N.Y.: Toyota just lost a ton of money too. The Japanese would buy up all of the closed GM factories et al and convert them to Quiznos. The last thing they need to do is flood the market with yet more cars.

Dana Milbank:

So Quiznos will start serving Sushi?

This is the best reason yet for an auto bailout.

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Chantilly, Va.: Who needs the Big Three? I drive a Volvo wagon -- you know, one of the "good" brands Ford plans to sell -- with 186,000+ miles on it and I hope to get at least to 300,000. My wife drives a Honda minivan and we're aren't planning to get rid of that for a long time either.

Screw these guys. They haven't made anything good since the 1960s.

Dana Milbank: My family is doing our part to help the Big Three. We drive a GM car (Saab) and a Ford (Volvo).

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Harrisburg, Pa.: I want to welcome you to Pennsylvania, in advance of your becoming Chris Matthews' Chief of Staff. Please note some voters around here do not believe in electricity while others believe in using as much as they can. We do have the greatest fatty foods anywhere and a wide selection of locally brewed beers. Any questions?

Dana Milbank:

My friends from Detroit say you have excellent rest stops.

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Arlington, Va.: Since watching your sketches on-line, I now hear your voice in my head while reading your chat responses. They seem even funnier.

Just thought you would like to know that.

Dana Milbank: That must be terrible.

Akira Hakuta is here filming for a video for tomorrow. But it's really dull, dull, dull.

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Chantilly, Va.: Your Santa wish list should also include a Charles Barkley campaign in Alabama.

Dana Milbank: I also have a fantasy about Ludacris running in Georgia.

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Smelly tourists: Sure, Reid shouldn't have said it, but anyone who has lived here and worked downtown at least one summer knows that it is absolutely true. (As they say, a gaffe is defined as an accidental statement of truth.) It's a biological fact that if you take humans and have them walk around the inferno that is the Mall, they are going to sweat, and many of them are going to get odorous.

If you doubt me, get on a crowded train at the Smithsonian stop any day next July. Phew.

Dana Milbank: You've got a point there.

You should just get a whiff of Shailagh Murray when she shows up to work in the Senate press gallery during the warm months.

(Actually I have had no olfactory problem with Shailagh, but do not tell her that when you present my accusation to her in her next online chat.)

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Washington, D.C.: I'm watching on C-Span after evacuating the overcrowded 106 Dirksen, and why is Ford CEO Mullaly smiling like that? He keeps uttering statements with this impish half-smile, utterly in contrast with the others' fretful looks. What gives? He looks like a boy who knows he put gum on Nardelli's seat but Nardelli hasn't realized it yet.

Dana Milbank: Come back -- the place is a third empty now. Deadly.

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The Great Unwashed: If the Capitol smells bad on a normal summer day, what kind of olfactory overload will be experienced in Washington D.C. when four million people congregate on the National Mall for the Inaugural ceremony? Will the funk be visible from The Google Earth?

washingtonpost.com: Entire Mall Open for Inauguration (Inauguration Watch blog)

Dana Milbank:

And we're inaugurating a guy whose initials are "B.O."

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Fairfax: Great writings and musings from you always - what say you of Sarah Palin rewearing the waredrobe supposedly returned? She is still prancing around in those duds like a primped moose with a parrot on her shoulder.

Dana Milbank:

Unclear if that outfit she's still wearing was one of the original Neiman Marcus numbers -- but apparently the RNC is fessing up to spending $30k more than was previously thought on her duds.

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D.C.: Dana -

I only care so much about this Baker/Obama thing... but I think you are biased. I really do, I think you are inclined to have the back of a reporter, and mock the politician. While I can't say that I disagree with that formuala too much, I will say this. I don't have a problem with the validity of the question, I have a problem with the question being asked knowing that he would get the brush off. And BTW, I have the same problem with reporters who ask crazy questions of Bush when I KNOW he will just skirt it. If I were Baker, I just would have used that question far more wisely. But then again, I wouldn't have asked this junk about Richardson's goatee. Baker's question was better than that!!!

Dana Milbank: Well, I am definitely biased in favor of my former colleague Baker. I am particularly biased in favor of his son Theo. On the other hand I am biased strongly against the New York Times.

So let me clarify: I think Baker's question was excellent. And I think the New York Times had no business wasting our time and Obama's with such trivial stuff.

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Dana Milbank: Quiznos update! This just in from the Post's Sara Goo:

"Ford's Alan Mulally arrived at The Post yesterday for a meeting with reporters and editors in a Ford Escape hybrid. He drove here from Michigan with three other executives. They drove straight through and packed boxed lunches for the ride."

(I didn't know the Post ran a drive-thru lunch service.)

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Non-profit sector: Hey Dana,

Can you pass Chris Dodd a note that when my non-profit sector, which employs hundreds of thousands all around the country, starts to fold, one by one, we'll be there to ask for a bailout.

Dana Milbank: Get in line, buddy. Newspaper industry gets the next bailout.

That's it for me today. Thanks for chatting -- whoever you are, whatever you eat and however you smell.

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