Ask Tom

Tom Talks Shop

In a city loaded with diverse restaurants, from New American chic and upscale Italian to sandwich shops and burritos on the run, finding the best places to eat can be a real puzzle. Where's the best restaurant for a first date or an anniversary? Father's Day? What's the best burger joint? Who has the best service?

Ask Tom. Tom Sietsema, The Washington Post's food critic, is on hand Wednesdays at 11 a.m. ET to answer your questions, listen to your suggestions and even entertain your complaints about Washington dining. Sietsema, a veteran food writer, has sampled the wares and worked as a critic in Washington, Seattle, San Francisco and Milwaukee, and can talk restaurants with the best of 'em. You can access his Postcards from Tom to read his recommendations for other cities, read his dining column, First Bite and the Dish or read transcripts of previous "Ask Tom" chats. Tom's Sunday magazine reviews, as well as his "Ask Tom" column, are available early on the Web.

For more restaurant chatter, join Sietsema's Table, Tom's new discussion group about dining experiences.

The transcript follows:

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Arlington, Va.: Hi Tom, you chat gave me reason to actually brave the sidewalks to come to work today. I am going to be celebrating my 30th birthday next saturday, and looking for a place to celebrate with around 15 people in the Arlington area. No real preference on the type of food. Thanks again for making Weds. worth while.

Tom Sietsema: Neither snow nor sleet will keep your host from the Wednesday chat! Thanks for joining me today.

Congrats on your upcoming milestone. Are we talking down-scale or something fancier? I'm thinking Spider Kelly's, Layalinya or Minh's for the former; Carlyle, Jaleo, Lebanese Taverna, Setto Bello or Tallula for the latter.

washingtonpost.com: Layalina or Tallula

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Washington, D.C.: Hi Tom, I wanted to offer some feedback on Himalayan Heritage. Since I live in the neighborhood, I took advantage of their delivery service about 2 weeks ago. I am within the 2 mile radius required for delivery, but my food still took well over an hour to arrive. The restaurant and driver each called me multiple times to get my address even though I had provided it when I placed my order. I had to give the restaurant and the driver directions to my house multiple times, even though I live off a well known intersection on the grid. I had ordered the Aloo Simi (green beans and potatoes), but all I received was a small container of cubed potatoes. My boyfriend's Lamb Kadai was well seasoned, but the portion was really small - no more than 1/4 cup of food. We also received a different type of naan than the one we had ordered. When our food arrived, I called the restaurant to let them know of the mistakes but no one answered the phone. There was no answering machine, either. I tried to call again about 15 minutes later, but the phone just rang busy. I attempted to call a few more times throughout the night, but the phone rang busy each time I called. I would be willing to try the food again but will probably try eating in the actual restaurant.

Tom Sietsema: I'm really sorry to hear this, since the food I tried at HH was richly flavored and generous and the delivery crew always looked as if it was on top of things when I spotted them in the foyer or going back to the kitchen to retrieve food. Definitely give the restaurant another chance -- but at the source rather than from home.

washingtonpost.com: 2009 Review: Himalayan Heritage

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Washington, D.C.: Any thoughts on Sei in penn quarter? And do you know when the Wagamama next door will open? Thanks!

Tom Sietsema: Any thoughts on Sei? I thought you'd never ask ...

washingtonpost.com: Today's First Bite: Sei

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Silver Spring, Md.: Dear Tom, My husband and I were wondering if you have anything that sets the tone for a good/bad dining experience before you have even had your meal. As for us, it is the butter. If I need the ice pick that was necessary for the ice on my car this morning in order to spread it, it is definitely a strike against the meal and a bit of a downer. If it is a nice, room temperature spread, then we know we are off to a good start. It is one little item that seems to set the tone for the meal. Are there any subtle things like that for yourself that puts you in a good mind set for the meal(other than the obvious like nice people, good food...). Love your chats.

Tom Sietsema: I'm in your camp. I appreciate butter that is easily spread. And so do a lot of other diners I eat out with.

Regular readers know that one of the little details I always appreciate is red wine that is served cool to the touch.

Chatters, let us know what *you* like to see when you launch a restaurant meal.

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Queen Anne's County, Md.: Have you noticed fewer restaurant patrons as the economy slumps? I would guess that you have but here on the Eastern Shore I have found it surreal that the new Cracker Barrel on Kent Island has been packed since it opened in November. Are people "eating down" or is Cracker Barrel the perfect culinary vehicle for certain neighborhoods?

Tom Sietsema: I think your hunch is correct.

What I've noticed is this: Even in the most popular places, tables tend to turn more slowly. In some venues, I've noticed a table or two go unseated for the duration of my visit. People continue eating out, but from what readers tell me, they're cutting back on the frequency, or "eating down" more often.

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Chevy Chase, Md.: Tom:

Last week there was lots of discussion on diners' and restaurants' reaction to freebies. Over the weekend I had a bizarre experience happen to me at a famous steakhouse in town (I won't mention it because I don't think it was management's fault). I was having dinner with a former colleague who was in back in town for a few days. The waiter immediately asked if it was a "special occasion" and we indicated it was not. He repeated the question every time he appeared. We were stuffed after a big meal and declined dessert. After letting him know that, he proceeded to bring over four different (and very large) desserts. He told us he was doing so because he was convinced it was a special occasion even if we wouldn't admit it. When we informed him we were too full for dessert and were unable to take anything with us due to later plans, his response was "I'm leaving them here. Just make sure the tip reflects my generosity." The desserts just sat there untouched and we left a little extra tip (25%) but the waiter gave us a dirty look on the way out as if we had done something wrong. We considered speaking to a manager but the place was jammed and we were in a bit of a rush so we just left. How would you have handled this situation? Was this something you would have addressed with management?

Tom Sietsema: Am I missing something? The waiter asks you multiple times whether you're celebrating, you repeatedly respond in the negative, yet he STILL insists on your having dessert? And leaves the selections by yor table?

Strange. And very inhospitable.

I would have said something to the manager on the way out. How many other customers was he souring on the service, I wonder?

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Red Wine cool to the touch: I totally agree, but you don't mean wine by the glass as well do you? It's very difficult for most restaurants to keep the wine by the glass temperature controlled.

Tom Sietsema: Well, it's certainly possible to get wines by the glass at the right temperature, provided they're kept in a cooler or on ice or some such. I know space is at a premium in some restaurants, but no one should have to suffer warm red wine.

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Sei - What recession?: I giggled when I saw your headline for Sei - What recession? We had drinks at the bar and a few orders of sushi. The sushi was great, and proved Sei's relationship to Oya, as the sushi was very similar. But we suffered a bit of a recession when we got our bill! The cheapest vodka there was 11 dollars! So a few mixed drinks (no martinis or anything, just a pour with a mixer) each, and we had a $400 bill. Grrrrr.....

Tom Sietsema: Uh, how many imbibers were you?

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Washington, D.C.: I am submitting early after reading last week's chat. The discussion about accepting freebies -- accepting freebies from a bartender isn't always a loss to the restaurant. My husband is a manager and bar manager at a local chain of restaurants and his bartenders get a (small) certain amount each shift that they can "give away" as they see fit in order to help develop relationships that are good for the business. This amount is factored into the regular costs and not only is the bartender not doing anything wrong by providing these freebies but it's something that the company wants them to do. Free drinks or otherwise from bartenders and servers aren't always unacceptable.

Tom Sietsema: Thanks for sharing another industry view.

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Dupont Circle: It appears that Etrusco has shut down. Can you confirm?

Tom Sietsema: It's true. The Italian restaurant went dark just before Christmas. Owner Vince MacDonald says Etrusco "wasn't a great situation." The long-running restaurant was set back from the street and was perceived as "the most expensive house on the block."

Will he ever reopen there? "I have no idea," says MacDonald. But even if he does, he adds, it won't be anything like Etrusco.

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Ellicott City, Md.: Hi Tom,

Along with spreadable butter, I like to start my meal with warm bread. If the bread is at room temperature or cold, or if bread is not even available, that's a huge strike against the restaurant.

Tom Sietsema: Warm bread is a little trickier, but I appreciate that, too.

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Reston, Va.: I like cold water served promptly, and in a decent-sized glass. If the glass is too small, then the poor server will wear him- or herself out with all the refill trips to my table. . . .

Any suggestions for tapas in D.C. or Virginia? I've been to Tavern on the Lake in Reston and wasn't terribly impressed. Love Mezze in Baltimore, if that helps. Thanks!

Tom Sietsema: Thanks for sharing your likes.

Tapas? I enjoy the Jaleo chain (and no, I don't have a financial stake in the operation) as well as the tiny but romantic bar at Taberna del Alabardero downtown.

washingtonpost.com: Taberna del Alabardero

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Good Beginning to a Meal: As a solo female diner, I would just like to be acknowledged when I go to restaurant. So many times I have been ignored by hosts and hostesses, waiters and waitresses alike. Just because I am alone does not mean I have the plague or TB. I love good food and good service and I will gladly pay well for both. More often than not, I do not get good service. I am so tired of being ignored that I have quit eating lunch out altogether and have cut back on eating out for dinner.

Tom Sietsema: Restaurateurs, are you taking notes here? (I hear this complaint from a lot of women. And young people.)

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Unwanted dessert: Man, you're more generous than I'd have been! For that guy to insist on giving you dessert you didn't want and then ask for cash for doing so is incredibly rude, and I'd have made my displeasure known in the decreased tip.

Tom Sietsema: I was rather surprised by the 25 percent tip myself, which is usually reserved for exemplary attention.

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Clifton, Va.: And no one should suffer by having to drink a draft Guinness that is too cold.

Or a steak house or restaurant that doesnt have clue what medium rare or medium well is?

I can tell as soon as I enter a restaurant what the experience will be like that night. If things are disorganized up front they will continue through out the meal.

Tom Sietsema: Having just had this happen to me, I have to get it off my chest: Don't you hate it when two of you show up separately and the host/hostess says so-and-so hasn't arrived, yet so-and-so is sitting at the bar and has already let the host/hostess know he's waiting for another member of the party? Grrr.

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Defending Your Li...er, Himalayan Heritage: Ever since your review of HH a few weeks ago, my husband and I have been regular take-out customers. We live in Dupont Circle, and although delivery usually takes an hour to an hour-and-a-half, we are used to it by now and plan our mealtimes accordingly. We are such huge fans that we seem to be ordering from them twice a week! We have our favorites (oh, that Gobi Manchurian!), and through trial and error have discovered other dishes we like. The staff we reach on the phone is always articulate and on-top-of-things. They are our new favorite takeout place! Please don't one bad experience sour you on them!

Tom Sietsema: Glad to hear it isn't a trend.

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Kalorama: Hi, Tom, My experiences with takeout from Himmalayan Herritage were the exact opposite of the previous poster's (though both times were before your review) -- excellent service, friendly folks manning the phones, good-sized portions, minimal delivery time, and the food was excellent.

Tom Sietsema: Whew!

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Richmond: Bread, meh. I do like bread, but sometimes I feel like they put it out to make up for small portions or slow service. At these prices, I don't care to fill up on bread, thanks. I'm saving myself for the good stuff. So not only do I not care about bread, I get a little angry if the waitress refills the basket. No, bring me my food by now and stop enticing me to fill up on bread.

Tom Sietsema: One reason I'm glad I'm not a restaurant owner: I can't read minds. And diners come to the table with so many different expectations.

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Good Beginning to a Meal: Ice in my ice water. And more ice when the glass is refilled, not just water.

Tom Sietsema: Do you like five ice cubes or ten?

(Joking.)

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Exemplary Attention: your phrase "exemplary attention" just brought to mind something that we experienced recently while dining in tiny & quaint Lexington, Virginia. I'm sure the waitress thought she was giving us special service... it was attention, all right -- coming over to our table and asking how we were every five minutes. I am not exaggerating. This really drove me nuts. If a server is in the vicinity often and looks towards the table to see if you are trying to make eye contact, that is the perfect amount of attention. The constant asking happens more often than I'd like and drives me crazy. This episode was just particular in its extremity.

Tom Sietsema: Yeah, I don't like that, either.

New server phrase to hate: "Is everything delicious?" I've heard that like, six times in the past month.

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Petworth, D.C.: Hey Tom, my wife and I got a baby sitter last Friday and had a great meal at Marvin. The liver and onions was exceptional. Service was good to very good and the noise level while high was not horrible. My question is thus: I work down in the area but most places are closed for lunch beyond Saint Ex, Ben's, and (YUM) the Greek Spot. Did we hit the best restuarant for food (Marvin) in the U street area? Keep up the great writing.

Tom Sietsema: Etete is open at lunch!

washingtonpost.com: 2007 Fall Dining Guide: Etete

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Re: little details: Warm -- or at least not ice-cold -- milk or cream for my coffee

Tom Sietsema: I see we have temperatures on the brain today.

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RE: Clifton : What's medium-rare to one might be another's medium.... Lets not bash a restaurant without cause here. Ask the server, whats rare v med-rare v med (color and temp) in their kitchen and chances are you will not have a problem.

Tom Sietsema: Good point! In all the better restaurants, waiters tend to inform diners who order steak what the kitchen's understanding of doneness is.

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Arlington, Va.: One of my favorite pet peeves is when the waiter asks how everything is -- 2.6 seconds after the food has been set down! I appreciate that they're checking, really I do, but maybe wait 30-45 seconds first so that we can actually take a bite?

Tom Sietsema: I hear you! They tend to ask me when my mouth is full.

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McLean, Va.: Hi Tom, I am looking for a good restaurant with entertainment for my 50th birthday. I would like to have a group of approx 20 friends for dinner and dancing/entertainment. Any suggestions for a fun evening?? NoVA or NW D.C. please...

Tom Sietsema: I hate to break it to you, but the area isn't flush with (good) places that offer dinner and dancing. But I know that Kinkead's and The Prime Rib feature live jazz combos and Marcel's and 701 both offer piano music during the dinner hour.

washingtonpost.com: 2007 Dining Guide: The Prime Rib

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Tampa-bound: We're excited to be heading to Tampa for the Super Bowl on Sunday. I'll be all over the wings, etc. at the game itself -- but I'd love to find some, shall we say, more refined eating options for the rest of the weekend. I don't see any Postcards from Tom -- any chance that you or the chatters have some suggestions for great (or even just very good) places to eat in Tampa, Fla.?

Tom Sietsema: Does anyone out there know the Tampa dining scene?

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Arlington, Va.: So I have a bunch of guests coming into town for my wedding and I want to put a few restaurant recommendations on our wedding website for people to try out when they have some free time. Most of the guests are staying in Dupont, where would you send people to eat? Preferably in the Dupont/Georgetown/Downtown area or just metro accessible, not super expensive but we want to show off our city.

Tom Sietsema: I think Firefly (new American), Mourayo (Greek) and Urbana would please your guests in Dupont Circle; in Georgetown, they might consider Pizzeria Paradiso and Tackle Box (seafood).

washingtonpost.com: 2008 Review: Tackle Box

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New Best Dish?: What's the newest best dish to hit D.C.?

Tom Sietsema: Let's just say that I was sorry to have to share the dahi ka baingan at the Bombay Club recently. The roasted eggplant dish made me swoon.

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Frivolous question: Do you have more or less hair than Rod Blagojevich? Or is it just that Rod's hair is undisciplined?

Tom Sietsema: The Illinois guv is really giving Donald Trump some competition, isn't he?

(How's that for a non-answer?)

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Rockville, Md.: Hi Tom, i have a dilemma i'm hoping you can help me solve. i have a colleague who visits regularly and usually stays around 14th and Mass. we're often working late, then desperately need a bite to eat, but the hotel restaurant is, um, lets just say boring. we're both foodies and any type of cuisine/atmosphere is fine, but really only want to walk a few blocks. is there anywhere we can go that is open late-ish (until 10 is fine), doesn't require reservations, and where we can get agood meal? thanks.

Tom Sietsema: The new Posto is in your range, as is the tried-and-true but noisy-at-night Rice.

washingtonpost.com: First Bite: Posto

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McLean, Va.: I'm getting very worried about the survival of some of the small stand-alone restaurants. I went to the Greek Taverna recently and saw very few patrons. Do you fear "mom and pop" restaurants may one day go the way of "mom and pop" hardware stores? What if you are left reviewing nothing but Chains?

Tom Sietsema: If anything, I think mom and pops are going to be busier, as people "eat down" (see post above) in the shaky economy.

The one thing that continues to surprise me is how easy it is to find candidates for my First Bite column, which generally features snapshots of new additions to the dining scene.

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D.C.: Hi Tom -

What's the noise level inside Sonoma at 7 p.m. on a Saturday night? I have a reservation, but am worried it might be too much for my mother who HATES noisy restaurants.

Thanks!

Tom Sietsema: You might want to change that reservation to 6 p.m.

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Washington, D.C.: Last week I had lunch at a very popular K Street restaurant. I was seated at my table, waiting for my friend to join me. Then, the waiter comes over, sits down at the seat opposite mine, and proceeds to chat like we're friends. I thought this was strange and wondered if waiters are asked to sit with lonely women and make small talk (the restaurant was starting to get busy) or was it just a peculiar waiter? I am happy to sit alone and wait for my friends and don't need, or appreciate, the waiter to fill in.

Tom Sietsema: You got a peculiar waiter. Or someone who wants to ask you out.

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Also Petworth: Busboys is open for lunch too.

Tom Sietsema: Yeah, but I like its mission better than its menu, you know?

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Pet Peeves: I have one and I learned it from a chef friend of mine. He calls it "auctioning off the food" -- you know the waiter comes with the plates and says "who had the burger". It drives him nuts and now it drives me nuts too.

Tom Sietsema: Funny, I'm writing about just that problem, one of my pet peeves, in an upcoming review.

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Doesn't Trump Rod: Trump's hair is plastered down to conceal Trump's personal recession. Rod's is the real deal.

Tom Sietsema: Right. But both wear hair that prompts discussion.

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For Tampa: Bern's steakhouse is one of the best in the country.

Tom Sietsema: Yes it is. And the wine list is first-rate.

Thanks for the memory jog.

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Capitol Hill: If I'm dining at night, I like to have the candle at my table lit. I know it's a simple indulgence, but, when the candle's out, if makes me feel as though I'm not on my server's radar.

Tom Sietsema: Just having light in general makes a difference, doesn't it?

washingtonpost.com: Check, Please: Craving a Dimmer for Dinner to Ensure the Right Kind of Light

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Cleveland, Ohio: Hi Tom, we're heading to Puerto Rico for our honeymoon. I didn't see a postcard in the archives. Any restaurant recommendations from you or the chatters? We'll be staying close to San Juan, but are happy to travel to try some great food.

Tom Sietsema: Here are some suggestions from my most recent visit -- five years ago, I should point out.

washingtonpost.com: Postcard From Tom: San Juan

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Falls Church, Va.: Bombay Club: Tom, am I imagining things, or was the Bombay Club closed for a while? I ask because my father in law's 70th birthday is next month. We took him there for his 65th and he LOVED it.

So I was reading the chat and saw your comment about a menu item: can we take him there to celebrate the 70th I presume?

Tom Sietsema: Indeed you can. The Bombay Club was recently redesigned.

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Tampa dining tip: Cuban in Ybor City! The 'hood has a more historical Cuban heritage than Miami, and La Columbia is a really good place to go for dinner. A lot of other places are good too- it's hard to miss.

BTW- Tom- an appreciation: you seem to take a lot more chatter questions than other WaPo chats, and it's great to read such a breadth of poster exps/questions.

Tom Sietsema: Thanks for what sounds like a good tip.

I appreciate the kind words. But I couldn't do this chat without the help of readers! You're a great bunch.

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Alexandria, Va.: Hey Tom! I'm hoping you can help me out with this dilemma. I just found out that I've been transferred across the country (to SF, I'm thrilled about all my potential dining options there!!!), but needless to say, the girlfriend is a little bummed. We decided to spend a weekend up in Baltimore, just to get away before I leave, but I'm clueless about the Bmore dining scene. Any suggestions for a great memorable dinner? We are pretty open to any cuisine, and wouldn't mind paying a bit, but don't want to blow our entire savings on the night. Thanks for your help! I promise I'll keep reading your chats and reviews from San Fran!

Tom Sietsema: You're going to love eating in San Francisco. (There's a reason I file Postcard columns from there twice a year.)

Baltimore is tricky. Lots of middling restaurants, and the poor economy isn't helping the high-end places, which have been forced to scale back their offerings. That said, I always have fun at the newish Woodberry Kitchen over there.

washingtonpost.com: 2008 Dining Guide: Woodberry Kitchen

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Re: Good signs in a restaurant: The main issue for me is a feeling that the restuarant wants me there. A courteous host, polite waiters, and policies that seem pro-customers, not anti-customers-because-we-hate-serving-you-people.

I don't like over the top fawning at all, and I find just general pleasantness to be perfect. Bad signs include staff who feel put out by doing their job or who have a cooler-than-thou attitude. I just want to feel like they're happy I'm there.

Tom Sietsema: Fair enough.

I think the peanut gallery just gave a few restaurants their agenda for tonight's staff meeting!

Time's up. See you next week, everyone.

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Tampa MUST: The Tampa bound person must go and try Circle's in Apollo Beach! Great views on the marina and crab cakes to DIE for! Burn's Steak House is $$$ but oh so good

Tom Sietsema: This just in.

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