Celebritology Live

You've Been Served... a Heaping Plate of Gossip

When stars shave their heads, marry (or divorce) inadvisedly, couch-jump, spend countless minutes in jail, commit a fashion faux pas and/or other random acts of ego-inspired inanity, washingtonpost.com Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly is on the job. Every weekday, Liz shares the buzz, offers perspective and provides crucial links to juicy alternate news sources and, of course, takes your reaction in her daily blog.

Join Liz LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

In her pre-celeb obsessed days (as if!), Liz ran washingtonpost.com's Discussions section, where she enjoyed talking to really interesting people -- sometimes even Post reporters -- on the phone. She still produces Pulitzer-prize winner Gene Weingarten's weekly Chatological Humor discussion and serves as co-proprietress of post.com's "Lost" Central.

Celebritology Live Archive

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Liz Kelly: Good afternoon. I hope everyone got the Christian Bale out of their system earlier today in another chat -- perhaps Dana Priest's? I know nothing relaxes me like a good three minute blast of profanity at a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist.

My favorite part of the Bale story thus far (aside from the remixes) is the fact that many are defending Bale, saying he was justified -- after all, his virtuoso work as a thespian was threatened by this nincompoop's presumption that he could walk across a set YET Bale's own mother told a British newspaper that she's glad people will finally understand how ill tempered her son can be. You'll recall that he was arrested last year for a scuffle of some sort involving his mother and sister.

In other news, Miley Cyrus has apologized for making a slant-eyed gesture in yet another candid photo released on the Internet. Though, as Miley points out, it is actually our fault. We took the picture out of context. And she's right. For all we know the context was a Mickey Rooney method acting seminar.

Lots to get to today, including other stars behaving badly -- Faye Dunaway, Ashton Kutcher, Etta James. The hits just keep on coming.

Let's get started...

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Super Bowl Lip Sync: Liz, I think you are the only one I can get an answer from... While watching the Super Bowl on Sunday a few of us recalled that Whitney lip sync the Nat'l Anthem and some said that wasn't true... Who is right?

Liz Kelly: According to the AP, Houston did lip sync her 1991 Super Bowl anthem performance -- or she at least used a backing track, which from what I gather means there is some real singing going on, but it it helped along by a prerecorded track that makes it easier to stay on key. Based on my 30-year car-based research into the topic, I can report that it is indeed easier to stay on key while singing along with the radio. I don't know that I'm all that riled up by this story. Now if they started playing the wrong track - a la Ashlee Simpson's botched "SNL" performance -- now that would be a story.

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Chimpanzee That, Monkey News: Liz,

Have you ever thought about interviewing Ricky Gervais' whipping boy Karl Pilkington about his bouts with Restless Leg Syndrome? He's discussed it on occasion on Gervais' podcast and/or old radio show?

washingtonpost.com: My mind reels at the thought of Liz talking to Karl.

Liz Kelly: Did you submit the same question to Gene's Tuesday chats?

Nope, never thought about it.

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Ashton Kutcher is a jerk.: I am amazed in these rough economic times that Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore haven't gotten more flack for hurling $3 beverages at hard working construction guys who probably had to get up at 4 a.m. just for the privilege of waking them up at 7:30. I guarantee you those guys don't make in a year what these entitled Hollywood jerks make in a week.

washingtonpost.com: Neighbor to Ashton -- Butch It Up (tmz.com)

Liz Kelly: Yeah. I think Ashton and Demi realized they didn't make any friends with their Twitter-enabled pronouncements from high atop mount celebrity. Yet, they continue to Twitter.

The internet is really the great leveler. Not only does it enable average people to turn into fire-breathing flame-war having monsters, it lulls celebrities into thinking they can safely speak their minds. I love it. If only Howard Hughes had access to twitter ("Saved another jar of stuff today.")

One of Kutcher's latest tweets compares himself favorably to Christian Bale. I love it.

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I have to add my $0.02 about the Jessica Simpson thing: Jessica Simpson is famous for one reason - her looks. To take that even further, her body. She can't sing particularly well, and to be honest, she never had that great of a face. Pretty eyes, sure, but her nose and certainly her teeth/smile leave much to be desired.

That's why this is a "big deal"(it's not, but that's why there's a hoopla about it), because without her body, Jessica Simpson is nothing remarkable.

That said, as a guy I have to comment on the reaction of many females to this situation: You are pulling a "Hillary Swank has to be hot, because if Hillary Swank isn't hot, I'm not hot!" like Kelly from "The Office" a few weeks ago with some of your reactions to this.

There is a difference between Celebrities and Regular People, please just accept that.

Liz Kelly: Okay, I see your point, but I respectfully disagree. And not for the reason you'd think.

Jessica Simpson is famous for being famous. Sure, she's a pretty face and has tried for years to make a go of the singing thing and the acting thing -- but the real reason we still know who this girl is is because she had a reality show, dates famous guys (John Mayer, Tony Romo) and because her dad has a talent for keeping his daughters in the tabs. She doesn't deserve our time and attention for any of those reasons and much less for the fact that she does or doesn't have a pretty face and slammin' bod.

But you make it sound as if she's broken some unwritten contract with the public by putting on a few pounds, when the truth is that it won't affect her bottom line any more than her inability to carry a movie. So, maybe her weight gain turns some off -- and yes there is a difference between celebrities and regular people -- but in a country where regular people (at least women) average a size 12, I find it hard to point and laugh at her.

And I don't think she's gained that much weight, btw. I think the outfit in question was just particularly unflattering.

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Ordway St., NW - No Wire Hangers!: Faye Dunaway may have been asking for a catfight when she publicly insulted Hillary Duff's talent, but Duff's rebuttal about her looks was just mean. FD (love her or hate her) was the lead in some major landmark films. Memo to Hillary: were all going to get old and wrinkly some day - respect your elders - If you want to shut Faye up, do a credible job with your "Bonnie & Clyde" remake (unlikely).

Liz Kelly: I have to say, I'm enjoying this one. So much so that we've created a poll to see where everyone comes down on the great Dunaway-Duff rift of 2009.

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washingtonpost.com:

poll by twiigs.com

Liz Kelly: Cast your votes above...

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Love the CB Rant: I think it's awesome. Who cares if he has a temper? At least he can act.

If Ashton Kutcher threw the same kind of fit it would be hi-larious and Billy Bush certainly wouldn't be asking if his career was over, like he was last night on "Access." I laughed so hard wine came out my nose.

Liz Kelly: In this economy, I certainly hope you recouped that wine and drank it, mister.

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Seattle: I listened to the Bale audio and thought it was inexcusable how he spoke to the poor dude who messed up. I don't care if he was "in character" or whatever, it's acting, not heart-surgery and he really over-reacted. It almost got comical when Bale asked the guy what he had to say for himself and when the guy tried to say something, Bale screamed at him to shut up (in so many words). And it just went on forever!

Liz Kelly: I'm with you -- I think it was a total over-reaction. Maybe Christian was venting some other, deeper frustration on the poor guy.

And I've been wanting to ask this for a long time and now is as good as any since the man is mentioned in the Bale stories: Is anyone else totall annoyed by that director calling himself "McG"? Your name is Joe, dude.

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Sad about Bale: I know it doesn't matter a whole lot and he's still hot--but i'm sad about Christian Bale.

Help me Liz Kelly...you're my only hope. I need someone new that's hot and not a big-ol-jerk.

Liz Kelly: I think I can help. One moment please...

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Jon Hamm is dreamy: That is all.

Liz Kelly: There you go.

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Scranton, Pa.: I hear Mindy Kaling was spotted somewhere around. What's new with her?

Liz Kelly: Read for yourself. After we're done here, of course.

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One of Kutcher's latest tweets compares himself favorably to Christian Bale. I love it.: You're not supposed to come full circle until the end of the chat!

Liz Kelly: That's only quarter circle! Ha.

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New York City: Is the Bale blowup a big deal? Yeah I heard the tape, and I assume this kind of BS goes on at Hollywood sets all the time. Maybe they don't get it on tape, but is it really that unusual? Has anyone here ever known actors? They're generally awful people. Really. They are so obnoxious and weird and exhausting -- like they think there's always a camera on them. And these are nobodies who work for caterers and perform off off off off Broadway.

I imagine the stars can be infinitely worse.

Liz Kelly: You're right -- it's not that unusual. Hence this list of the top 10 blowups captured on tape? Me, I'm still pretty fond of Lily Tomlin's.

But I read something v. well said yesterday by Leslie Gornstein (E!'s Answer Bitch) -- she asked those stepping up to defend Bale to imagine themselves having the same kind of meltdown in our everyday lives. For instance, would we be forgiven for freaking out on our HR Rep or a grocery store checkout clerk the same way?

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The Bottom Line: One thing you can say is that those high-waisted jeans didn't do much for the lines of Jessica's bottom.

Liz Kelly: Zing.

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One of Kutcher's latest tweets compares himself favorably to Christian Bale: I'll pay attention to Ashton Ktucher when he starts twittering like Erykah Badu. Until then, if a celebrity tweets on the net, and no one cares to read it.....

Liz Kelly: Yes, for those who missed it, Erykah Badu took twittering to a new place earlier this week -- the delivery room, where she tweeted while giving birth.

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Arlington, Va.: Did you ever get that Gwynnie/GOOP workout DVD? If so, how is it? I read a bunch of reviews on Amazon that said the instructor (her name escapes me now and I am too lazy to look it up) totally sucks. Just curious if it's as horrible as I imagine it is.

Liz Kelly: I did get it, but have not yet taken off the cellophane. Will report back next week.

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Nosy Parker: Your esteemed colleague Dana Milbank reports today that "Dirty Harry" Markopolos, who tried in vain for nine years to blow the whistle to the SEC on Ponzi-scheme aficionado Bernie Madoff, would like to be played in a movie by Michael Chiklis, since he's also Greek-American and from Massachusetts.

(By Jay Mallin -- Bloomberg News)

Liz, I see scarcely a whit of resemblance between these two. FYI, Markopolos looks more like a youngish Sam Waterston, so I'm wondering which middle-aged actor you and the Lizards think would be perfect to cast as the cinematic Markopolos.

washingtonpost.com: To be fair, Chiklis doesn't look like the Thing either...

Liz Kelly: Hmm, Fargo's Peter Stormare might do.

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Blasphemy: Liz, thank you for calling out the Pink Panther remakes for what they are! I bet Peter Sellers is rolling in his grave now. Are there really no more movies out there to make?

Liz Kelly: And it isn't just Steve Martin taking a massive crap all over a beloved franchise -- John Cleese is along for the ride. As Mr. Liz asked, "Do they really need money that badly?" Maybe "Shop Girl" wasn't as lucrative as Martin would have hoped.

Any early thoughts on the Farrelly Bros. "Three Stooges" remake. Should we just all gouge our eyes out now?

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Dork, Us: Hey Liz, how come Celebritology isn't available on the mobile version of WaPo, a la Rob Pegoraro's blog?

Liz Kelly: Good question. Probably because Rob Pegoraro is just way more cutting edge than the rest of us. But if I'm not on that site by the end of the day, I'm going to go totally Christian Bale on our tech department.

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Washington, D.C.: Liz, you work in a newsroom. Surely you've seen blowups on par with Bale's, no? I once worked at the Chicago Tribune's Washington bureau and the BC was the loudest blowhard in the world. He eventually was fired for launching a Rolodex across the room.

Liz Kelly: I have indeed seen a few jaw-dropping newsroom shouting matches in my day. Though, for arrogance and aggresiveness nothing compares to my current office space sharer -- Andy the cat. He has claws and he's not afraid to use them.

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Reston, Va.: I'm sad about Bale too. He was my first celebrity crush back when he played Laurie in "Little Women." sigh.

Liz Kelly: That's right. He was good in that otherwise mediocre movie. Wasn't he also in "Newsies" and "Swing Kids?" or am I confusing him with someone else?

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Nosy Parker: Funny you should invoke Dana Priest, because during her online chat today someone asked her to name some of her favorite movies in the national security genre, and she replied: "The Interpreter;" "Clear and Present Danger"; "Casino Royale," "The Breach," "Charlie Wilson's War," "Get Smart."

Unfortunately, she omitted "Three Days of the Condor," which I'm sure was an oversight, rather than support for Hilary Duff over Faye Dunaway in the great "Bonnie and Clyde" feud.

Liz Kelly: Wait -- she didn't include "Spies Like Us?"

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Washington, D.C.: I have a theory that most successful actors have a psychological disorder, such as borderline personality. It allows them to more fully become the character, but unfortunately, it also leads to promiscuity, substance abuse, and yes, inappropriate outbursts.

Liz Kelly: I think there may be something to what you say -- but it may be a little less extreme. These are people who not only rely on calling up passionate emotions in their work, but are also made to feel like the center of the universe by the sycophants surrounding them. It has to be hard. My heart goes out to them.


Yep.

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Paris, Texas: Steve Martin was so roundly panned for the first Pink Panther so what could possibly be the motivation for a sequel ?

Liz Kelly: I'm guessing DVD sales and overseas distribution. If they can make even a small profit, it is worth it to the studio to turn out this stuff.

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I'm going to go totally Christian Bale : Love it! I'm going to use this phrase to warn my kids of an imminent melt-down when they misbehave again and again!

Liz Kelly: It's way more au courant than "going postal."

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Bale films: Yup, he was in "Swing Kids" as the evil kid.

Liz Kelly: Dismissed as coincidence.

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Faye Who?: I am 34 and I can't say I know of Ms. Dunaway's work. Yeah, she's an actress, but that's all I know. She is scary looking (reminds me of Cruella DeVil). If she really was a great star of her times, why stoop to Duff's level anyway? Cranky old witch.

Liz Kelly: Ouch. Sure, she's been relegated to smaller projects lately -- but in the late 70s/early 80s she was the Kate Blanchett of her day.

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Do they really need money that badly?: John Cleese does. He had a high profile (in UK) and very costly divorce from wife #3 recently. Commenting on the divorce settlement last fall, he as much said that he'll have to keep working for the money.

Liz Kelly: And is apparently dating a woman many years his junior, according to the Daily Mail.

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McG should have taken control of his set: The most telling part of the Bale blowup is when you hear McG meekly say, "um I didn't see anything..." It seems pretty clear the inmates (Bale) were running the asylum (set).

Liz Kelly: Right -- totally agreed. McG (shudder) totally abdicated his authority there.

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Markopolos: John Malkovich, with a nice rug.

Liz Kelly: Ooh, I like it.

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Rantage levels: In an online poll this week, folks thought Alec Baldwin's rant (via phone message) at his daughter was worse than Bale's outburst. Baldwin, in a recent New Yorker article, appeared to be chastened about his behavior. Has Bale indicated that he feels remorse for his tirade?

washingtonpost.com: Why Me? Alec Baldwin's disappointment, undimmed by success. (The New Yorker, Sept. 8)

Liz Kelly: I don't think we've yet heard from Christian.

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Andy the Cat: Look, Mom, you're the one who brought the newbie into the house without asking my opinion. So there! And I agree that Hillary Duff can't act.

Liz Kelly: It's true, Andy. But you are now thoroughly happy with your new inmate, Opie the cat.

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Christian Bale: Having worked on many sets, let me just say this: when the camera is rolling on a scene, any scene (and this one was supposedly "the most dramatic scene his character has"), everyone is supposed to be still (unless there is a dolly in motion, of course). As much for the possibility of messing up the sound as anything else. An experienced cinematographer walking across the set, in CB's eyeline, is as distracting to a seasoned actor as Robin Williams in a dress doing cartwheels and pulling clown faces in the background. Having said that, his overreaction was extreme, embarassing and unnecessary. On the other hand, I've been screamed at hysterically by an A-lister whose first class seat was not on his preferred airline, so maybe they all carry a hair-trigger gene.

Liz Kelly: I don't think anyone is questioning that the hapless crew member should not have been walking through the set. Bale's reaction is just way over the line. I could get behind him unloading his frustration on the guy with a few well-placed expletives, but as someone else here pointed out, Bale uses the F-word over 30 times in just two minutes.

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New York: Do Dana Priest, Dana Milbank and Dana Bash ever hang out together - perhaps at the Press Club or for concerts at Wolf Trap?

washingtonpost.com: The Dueling Danas Discussion - Washington Sketch/National Security and Intelligence

Liz Kelly: I'm going to change my name to Dana.

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Steve Mart, IN: He was on NPR last night, promoting his new banjo CD. No mention of the Pink Panther movie. Which is more embarrassing?

Liz Kelly: Oh, the Pink Panther sequel, definitely.

I'm so conflicted about Steve Martin. On the one hand he's this groundbreaking comedian who made "The Jerk" and totally turned stand-up upside down. He's a decent writer and he plays the banjo (I think that's cool). On the other, he's always had this kind of cheesy, hackneyed side that he can't seem to fully leave behind. Maybe that's what you get for launching a career from Knott's Berry Farm.

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Famo, US: It should give all of us pause to consider that Mr. Bale who has a fantastic well-paying job and a couple of circus folks in the family is really such an unhappy little jerk.

Liz Kelly: Circus folks? Like the bearded lady? That might put me in a foul mood.

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I'm going to change my name to Dana. : "Mr. Dana" doesn't do it for me.

Liz Kelly: Ah well, nevermind then.

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What about Page?: As a dog lover, I resent more attention being paid to the cat. Show some love for Page.

Liz Kelly: Page is fab. She's right here beside me and we'll be going for our daily constitutional as soon as the 3 p.m. hour Lost chat wraps up. She's just more secure, ya know?

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Andy & Opie?: Oh, NOW I get it! Will there be a Bea, too?

Liz Kelly: Well -- to be honest, they both came with those names... being shelter cats, they already had names and we didn't want to confuse them by changing them.

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check your dates : Sweetie-pie : The Divine Miss Dunnaway was a pretty big star in the 1960's in a little film called, " Bonnie and Clyde ".

Liz Kelly: Wow -- I so thought that was a '70s release. My bad.

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Oh Miley, you lovable rascal!: Sigh. Racist pics and lame non-apology aside, the real problem here is that it seems 1) No one is giving this girl a quality education which might give her some insight; 2) She's clearly the family meal ticket and no one says no to her - hello adult boyfriend! This may be working for the Cyrus fam today but unchecked it leads to a tomorrow of Britney, Bale, or Lindsay Lohan antics.

Liz Kelly: Yeah. I think we have to resign ourselves to the fact that Miley may be on a collision course with a Britney Spears-style meltdown sometime in the near future. She's got too much, too young and not much grounding.

Though she did give up her Porsche for a Prius earlier this week in order to do her part for the environment. I'm sure that had nothing to do with image rehab.

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Del: While I do agree with your advice to Joaquin Phoenix that his rap name should be short, I take you to task for citing my man Del Tha Funkee Homosapien as a bad example (as well as spelling his name wrong). His latest album, The Eleventh Hour, just came out last year and is top notch... My suggestions for Mr. Phoenix - DJ Waa Keem.

Liz Kelly: Ooh, I like that.

And sorry for maligning Del. I was going to go with Ja Rule the Punisher in that example, but changed it at the last minute.

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RE: New York & Actors: Please. Yes, I know actors and am related to one that you would know (no, I won't tell). New York is painting a picture with a very broad brush when applying his limited broadway experience with all the SAG members. There are a rude and polite people in the world period (actor or not). I can think of many actors that do not behave like Bale. I can think of many who do-- just like all the 'regular' folks I meet in my everyday life. Bale is a jerk because he is a jerk, not because he became and actor.

Liz Kelly: Right. But like everything else in the celebrity world, his behavior is somewhat heightened and then magnified by us.

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Quatch Cave: Which shelter did Opie the cat come from?

Liz Kelly: Opie came via a local rescue group, Homeward Trails, but he was rescued from a shelter in West Virginia.

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Bale, Ful: The best actors ARE somewhat nuts, and Bale is utterly method. The guy did all interviews for Batman in Batman's voice, not his natural Welsh accent, because he didn't want to dilute the character. He lost insane amounts of weight for The Machinist and Rescue Dawn (in which he ate maggots and worms because the character he was playing had done so in Vietnam). The guy becomes the role. Even his performance in Empire of the Sun was incredible, and he was 12 or 13 at that point. That is not an easy person to live with, or to BE for that matter. You'd have to lose track of who you were, eventually.

As a side note, he apparently went into a major depression when Heath Ledger died because they got as close as brothers.

As another side note, he is scorching hot, and No. 1 on my free pass list. My husband knows this is something he cannot fight.

Liz Kelly: So Robert Downey Jr. was channeling Bale in "Tropic Thunder?"

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John Cleese: You're behind the times. John Cleese's girl-next-door went on the radio or TV in Britain and spilled the beans about their intimate life, including details of his bod, and he went all Christian Bale on her and broke up via a very angry voice mail. Evidently in his 63-years of relationships none has kissed and told with such detail and he was shocked, just shocked.

Liz Kelly: Right -- I think that link I included talked about her radio outing and John's reaction.

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Until then, if a celebrity tweets on the net, and no one cares to read it.....: then the celeb does not exist.

Liz Kelly: Oh, if only that were the case. Unfortunately, even the least deserving of attention (Dustin Diamond) can find attention online.

Okay, that's it for today. I'm going to skip out a few minutes early to head over to the "Lost" chat. See you here next week and in the blog tomorrow morning...

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washingtonpost.com: Please join Liz and Jen Chaney for the 'Lost' Hour

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Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.