On TV

Reality, Non-Reality and Everything In-Between

Columnist Lisa de Moraes was online Friday, Feb. 13 at 1 p.m. ET to take your questions about the drama, comedy and heartbreak of the world of television -- both onscreen and behind-the-scenes.

The transcript follows.

Watch these four videos and take today's poll.

Nadya Suleman sits down with Ann Curry.

Diddy faces down David Caruso.

Letterman puts down Joaquin Phoenix.

Norm McDonald on Conan's big letdown.

TV columns | On TV discussion transcripts | de Moraes on TV blog.

De Moraes has written "The TV Column" for The Post since 1998. She served as the TV editor for the entertainment industry trade publication the "Hollywood Reporter" for almost a decade.

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Washington, D.C.: Lisa,

Do you know when "Breaking Bad" is coming back. It seems like years since the first season ended.

Lisa de Moraes: Hi. You're in luck -- coming right up...returning Sunday, March 8.

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Fairfax Station, Va.: Pookalah, you have to admit that the Letterman/Phoenix debacle made for some delicious fodder around the TV watercooler this week!

Lisa de Moraes: It gets my vote for the Most Craptastic TV Moment of the Week, or as my wonderful producer, Paul, more politely put it in our poll, most delightfully awkward moment. If you haven't yet voted, please do so. At this point Joaquin Phonex on Letterman's show is way out in front with 72 percent of the votes. Closest competitor, The Octomom and Ann Curry Show, only has 16 percent of your votes. Norm Macdonald on Conan's show -- and if you haven't seen it you have missed one great illustration that Conan's no Letterman -- has 9 percent and climbing...

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washingtonpost.com: WAPO TEAM TV STATUS WATCH

RENEWED:

Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family), for a second season

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network), for a second season

United States of Tara (Showtime), for a second season

Rescue Me (FX), for a sixth season

CANCELED:

The Starter Wife (USA), after two seasons

Cristina's Court (syndication), after three seasons

DATE SET:

America's Next Top Model (CW), season premiere moved to March 4

Lisa de Moraes: Sorry for delay -- I'm having tech issues out here in Los Angeles. I should have posted the Wapo Team TV Status Watch which will answer many of your questions in re when is your fave show coming back, has it survived, blah, blah, blah...

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Washington, D.C.: I love Norm McDonald - he should be on TV more. It's a shame he left SNL because one of the heads of NBC was friends with O.J. and didn't like on the O.J.-bashing jokes on "Weekend Update."

Lisa de Moraes: Ironic, huh? He was brilliant on Conan's show the other night. Even if you don't vote, do watch the clip.

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Just call me an old fogey: I'm horrified that Octomom got a platform to spew her dangerous, delusional drivel. I'm horrified that nearly 12 million people watched her. I'm proud of myself for being horrified.

Lisa de Moraes: I'm frankly surprised it didn't get a bigger audience. May be she should not have gone with NBC -- especially if her goal was to drive as many people as possible to her web site soliciting donations for herself and her children...

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Whither Larry?: Any word on when "Curb Your Enthusiasm" will be back?

Lisa de Moraes: Filming now -- no start date yet.

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Idol: Jamar (Danny's friend) should NOT have gone home. He was much better and more original than that loser who had to start over again.

Lisa de Moraes: I'm expecting him to show up during the Wild Card night. I'm guessing the producers decided that would be "high drama" to reunite the BFF's and that they might be able to milk some major drama out of Danny "Just Lost My Wife" Gokey being separated from his pal who, it appears, has done a lot to keep him grounded during the whole ordeal...

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Houston: Wow -- during last night's "Greys"/"Private Practice" crossover episodes, I realized just how boring "Private Practice" is! Watching it separately, it's okay, but every time they left Seattle, I was bored with what was happening!

Oh - and I love the new guy (whose name I cannot remember). His character seems to have a bit more depth to him, but I am afraid that they'll change him soon enough into something not as interesting.

Lisa de Moraes: I think you're talking about Grant Show. And yes, it says a lot about a show -- and not in a good way -- when Grant Show, aka hot Melrose Place Guy, is the actor with the most in-depth character....

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Alexandria, Va.: Pookie,

Do dish on the rumors of Izzie and George leaving "Grey's"?

Lisa de Moraes: "Grey's" creator Shonda Rhimes was supposed to say, on the red carpet at the NAACP Image Awards last night, if she was asked the question, that the esteemed James Pickens Jr. (aka Chief, and the guy who told the press that yes Izzy and George are leaving) is not privy to actual information in re whether Katharine Heigl and T.R. Knight are leaving or not and that viewers will just have to tune in to see. No word yet on whether she accomplished her mission -- I was not there.

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Seattle: My choice is Octomom. You just can't help but think about her poor kids and wanting scream at her.

How long before her storyline is in an episode of "Law & Order"?

Lisa de Moraes: No time at all, pookie. No time at all. Meanwhile, I watched what I'm sure will be another upcoming episode of "Law & Order" this morning. Al ROker, NBC's jovial weatherman, was talking to the crowd in Rockefeller center -- nothing unusual there -- and came across a charming kid who looked kind like Al Roker at age 13. Kid said he wanted to be Al Roker when he grew up. Roker lets Kid read the weather. Kid does great job. "You did a great job! Now I am going to have to kill you," Roker said. Yes, he really did...

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Woodbridge, Va.: Have you seen the commercial on Fox for "Dollhouse" and the Sarah Conner show? It's done in a fake 1970s grindhouse style. Didn't Fox get the memo that the Tarantino/Rodriguez double feature was a flop because no one even remembers the 1970s.

Lisa de Moraes: And yet, TV connoisseurs are wetting their pants over the fabulousness of those ads. Personally I think they're kinda fun. At least people are writing about it. And, when you've slapped a show on Friday nights -- aka Death By Timeslot -- you need all the free publicity you can get...

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Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice: Huh? I mean, with scripted "dramas" like that, maybe NBC will clean up with Leno next year.

Lisa de Moraes: We already know NBC will clean up because Leno's show, even with his gimongous salary, is dirt cheap compared to the cost of programming 10 p.m. Monday through Friday with scripted drama series that can cost upwards of $3-4 million per episode. And NBC programs for margins. This is a very wise short-term business decision. Of course, there is virtually no afterlive potential for a Leno strip at 10. No boxed DVD of each season, times five shows per week. No huge overseas sales in syndication. But the heads of NBC have ceased to believe in that dream of coming up with a hit at 10. It speaks volumes about the top brass's lack of confidence in their own series development team and chief...

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Washington, D.C.: Re: "Grey's"

But don't you think that they are getting some serious mileage on this Katharine Heigl and T.R. Knight off and on again drama? Its been floating around, in various ways, for months.

Lisa de Moraes: Yes and they are afraid Pickens inadvertently killed that. They were going to try to put that genie back in the bottle last night at the NAACP Image Awards... good luck on that...

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Arlington, Va.: So, Lisa -

Shales has no love for "Dollhouse." Is it really that bad, or is Whedon just so misunderstood?

washingtonpost.com: Shales: 'Dollhouse' Deserves To Be Condemned (Post, Feb. 13)

Lisa de Moraes: I wish there was a single word that described something so bad it's terrific. I go with craptastic. I love watching it, but would recommend medication before viewing to all of you out there. Drinking game maybe every time Eliza Dushku puts on a tight tank top?

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Vienna, Va.: You say that "Dollhouse" is so bad its good. Slate's Troy Patterson disagrees--he calls it the best action show on TV. Whom should I believe?

washingtonpost.com: Slate on "Dollhouse": She's Got Legs.

Lisa de Moraes: Meanwhile over at Slate, they've got nothing but love for "Dollhouse" though, reading through the review, there is much emphasis put on Dushku's chief talent being her legs, and when the discussion devolves into one about "TV connoisseurs" it's getting a little thin. Broadcast networks don't program for TV connoisseurs. They program for people -- tens of millions of them. The Holy Trinity of TV coinoisseurs -- JJ Abrams, Josh Schwartz and Joss Whedon -- don't actually have all that great a track record with viewers, though TV connoisseurs go positively orgasmic over them. Schwartz's "Gossip Girl," for instance, is only averaging about 2.9 million viewers which is a perfectly fine cable number, except it's on a broadcast network. And in its sweet spot -- chicks 18-34, it's averaging 1.1 million.

Which, coincidentally, is exactly the same number of chicks 18-34 the most recent episode of "The Mentalist" copped this week. Meanwhile "Mentalist" clock 20 million viewers overall to "GG's" 2.9 mil season average. I could go on and on -- "Alias" was never a hit," JJ"s "Six Degrees" was cancelled after 8 episodes for lack of audience," "Gossip Girl" is getting creamed in its own timeslot by ABC Family's "Secret Life of the American Teenager" and so on and so on... These days TV connoisseurs praise shows that get niche audiences -- so long as it's the right niche - and savage shows that do what broadcast networks ask them to do -- attract lots and lots of people.

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Alexandria, Va.: So, "House" got bounced due to the Presidential news conference. Will that episode be shown next week? Do we get to extend the "House" season?

Although I still usually enjoy watching it, has some of the charm of Gregory House worn off now that his ratio of bitter/caring is something like 95/5? Used to be maybe 60/40 and I think that made for a better character. He is just plain obnoxious most of the time now.

Lisa de Moraes: Yes, Fox now has an extra episode of "House." And, in re your spot-on comment about the character being in a rut, I think Dr. House needs an evil-twin -- who is super nice....

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Where will my SVU go?: Okay, so with all this craptastic talk of Jay Leno saving the 10 pm hour, exactly where will programs like "Law & Order SVU" go?

Lisa de Moraes: MyNetworkTV! Just announced! Actually only the reruns, but still... Seriously, you have raised the most interesting question in the NBC strategy. For instance, NBC is about to debut John Wells's new drama series in the plum Thursday 10 p.m. timeslot. If NBC gets really lucky and it's a mondo hit, will they really want to risk moving it to a different timeslot next season to make way for Jay? It is very risky to move even a hit new series that early into its run...

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Fox's "Dollhouse" ads: I know why they are doing that! It's so fans of "Firefly" will erroneously think that Summer (a.k.a. "Firefly's" River Tam) Glau is actually in "Dollhouse!" and not the Sarah Connor show!

Lisa de Moraes: I think we have an answer here, folks....

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Leesburg, Va.: Is it just me, or is there a prevalence of high-pitched, whiny men on Idol this year? That Von guy, Jamar (who didn't make it, but still), that guy who did the Cher song...etc?

I don't know, I find it grating. If I wanted to hear a high-pitched singer, I'll listen to the girls. Thank god for (my favorites) Anoop and the Blind Guy.

That said, what's up with the girl who got booted between Wednesday and Thursday? It can't be because she's had a record deal...they've had plenty of those on over the years.

Lisa de Moraes: No, it's not because Joanna Pacitti formerly had a a record deal because, as you correctly pointed out, they've had other Idolettes with that background. We're talking American Idol here for those of you scratching your heads. One of the Idolettes who, on Wednesday's show was seen being named to one of the coveted 36 finalists slots, had actually been given the old heave ho, which Fox buried at the bottom of a news release it sent out at 1:13 a.m. Thursday....They're being all coy about, saying they decided she was not eligible.

And a "source" told virtually everyone who called -- you figure it out -- that Fox wanted to avoid even the possibility of an appearance of" impropriety or something like that. Let's just say the decision was made within days of Star tabloid publishing a story saying Pacitti had told people she was really tight with two people who work at 19 Entertainment -- one of the production companies behind "Idol." That would be very very bad...

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Silver Spring, Md.: So, have you moved Lost from the "Dead to Me" list back at least to "On Notice?"

Or is that a one-way street?

Lisa de Moraes: With serialized dramas, it is almost always a one-way street. Which is why you are not going to see many/any serialized dramas ordered up for next season. Those that have serialization won't have such gloppy serialization as shows like "Heroes" and "Lost." And that sentence, my friends, illustrates brilliantly why I am the perfect/worst TV critic. And, getting back to my point, those with the teensiest hint of serialization will have major storylines that are resolved every week...

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Silver Spring, MD: At some point, will Simon pontificate on how "at bottom, it's a singing competition," and Nick/Normon will respond "If that were true, I wouldn't be here, and you know it"?

Lisa de Moraes: I think Simon gave up the right to use that line ever again when he was seen on Wednesday trying to intimidate Kara, Paula and Randy into putting through the pretty blonde over the talented blonde when they did the Blonde on Blonde Sing-Off For Your Life bit...For those of you who missed it, they added a new feature to Hollywood Week in which they brought two Idolettes before the judges, made them sing against each other, and picked one of the two to be a finalist. It really peeled the cover off the process and made it abundantly clear it's not about singing, it's about casting. Redneck vs Redneck, Blonde vs Blonde?! It was like a sweeps episode of "Smackdown"

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Odenton, Md.: Lisa,

I know people were turned off by the "American Idol" judges rejecting Jamar Rogers from the final 36 selection. Because he may not be top 3 guys, is it safe to move him to the Wild Card group, which will be held on March 5th, as one of the judge's favorite contestants? Of course, it would be an emotional moment when Danny and Jamar have a reunion.

Lisa de Moraes: My thought exactly...

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Washington, D.C.: Is it just me, or is "Lost" really, really annoying now?

Lisa de Moraes: It's not just you, judging by the ratings. That said, considering that they've made practically every mistake possible in the How To Hang On To Your Audience guidebook on this show, it says a lot that even 11 million-ish are still watching...

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Silver Spring, Md.: What is the deal with Katie Couric's crush on L'il Wayne?

Lisa de Moraes: It's sweet...they went bowling, for goodness sake... what's wrong with that?

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"30 Rock": Why did NBC insist on ruining last night's best joke -- Liz Lemon on the toilet with the door flung open -- with all those promos giving away the gag? It was still funny when I saw it "live," but would have been better as a surprise.

Lisa de Moraes: Really? You thought that was the show's best joke? It was a brilliant episode and a toilet joke was what you remember best? But I agree with you completely in re giving away gags in the promos. It makes me nuts too. But, in NBC's defense, they are so desperate to get people to watch this show they are pulling out all the stops. Which apparently means using the clip of the toilet gag which apparently is the best gag in the show. So much about this industry I have yet to learn. I'm putting that in my How to Cover TV Book now:.. Toilet Jokes: the best....

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Fairfax, Va.: What can you tell us about Harper's Island, the "event" CBS is pushing for April-July? From what I can tell it's pretty much a televised Dinner Murder Mystery show. Is that about it?

Lisa de Moraes: Yes, and if only it had been executive produced by JJ Abrams, Josh Schwartz or Joss Whedon we would be talking about how the slaughter of an entire wedding party on what should be the most special moment in a young woman's life "asks questions about the exploitation of women." Instead, we're nicking it for being dinner theatre...really, life is so unfair..

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Idolwild: What's with "Idol" and Fox? Were they as tone-deaf as bankers and airlines when they shoved Joanna in our kissers despite her contracts and especially the reports of her relationship(s?) with the producers? Why didn't they just edit her out -- I mean, were all of us counting to 36? -- instead of including her and then further insult our intelligence with the dead-of-night "Oh, by the way" announcement that she was booted?

Lisa de Moraes: I know, I know. My thought exactly when I read the bottom line of that news release which was sent out at 1:13 a.m. ET...meanwhile, this chat has been going very slowly due to tech issues so I'm going to keep going for about another 15 minutes or so to get to more of your questions....sorry for the delays..

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Word for something so bad it's terrific: "Nip/Tuck"

That said, Cheers to "Breaking Bad" coming back in a month. I felt like the only person in the universe who wasn't "surprised" when Cranston won the Emmy last year, I still remember the monologue he did when I thought to myself, "That's his Emmy-winner right there."

What a great show.

Lisa de Moraes: Poor old "Nip/Tuck" does seem to have jumped the shark. Remember when the creator mocked the idea of setting the show in Los Angeles at a press tour -- oh wait, you weren't there, you'll have to take my word for it -- and then he DID move it to Los Angeles? That, my friends, is the sign of the end...

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Simon's Lost Credibility: Simon definitely lost the right to say anything this season about this being "a singing show" after his blonde-on-blonde behavior, but I would also contend that they blew that cover by putting Tatiana through. She has a decent voice, but she is crazy and she has been put through solely because she is good theater. Same with Nick/Norman.

Lisa de Moraes: I agree Tatiana's hysterics have helped her but I disagree in re her voice. She has one of the strongest voices in this year's competition.. It pains me to say so, but it's true...

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For example, the perfect serial:: "The X-Files." You could watch and enjoy the individual episodes even if you didn't follow the serialized "arc."

Lisa de Moraes: good example...non-gloppy serialization.

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Re: Dollhouse: "Drinking game maybe every time Eliza Dushku puts on a tight tank top?"

Thanks, Pookie, for giving me TWO reasons to watch. (ba-dump-ba)

Lisa de Moraes: you're welcome.

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Most awkward moments: I'm surprised that American Idol and the visually impaired Scott didn't make it on the awkward moment thing. First you have Ryan trying to high five the blind guy. Then Paula gives him a standing ovation which he doesn't find out about until the interview afterward and finally Kara giving the great line of "we'll be seeing more of you" (e.g. "even if you still won't be seeing us.") Truly craptastic moments from some of Fox's best and brightest reality stars.

Lisa de Moraes: We tried to get Idol video into the poll -- it was so complicated it plunged into my LIfe is Too Short category. We will try to resolve this in time for next week's chat because you are absolutely right and Idol should have been represented.. Speaking of the poll, Phoenix is now at 66% of the votes with Octomom closing in at 22 percent...

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Washington, D.C.: According to EW which was quoting People.com, Rhimes said that they aren't leaving.

Lisa de Moraes: Ah, so, to quote our former administration: Mission Accomplished!

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Washington, D.C.: Can you weigh in on an everlasting debate we ratings-nerds have on an almost daily basis? Some say "The Mentalist" isn't that big of a hit or even really a hit because it's 18-49 demo isn't as big as its overall numbers (i.e., it is somewhat old-skewing). But a top 5 show in total viewers, that is only top 15 in the demo is still a massive hit, right? I mean is the 18-49 demo the only thing advertisers look at? Is "Fringe" more valuable than "Mentalist"?

Lisa de Moraes: No show's 18-49 demo is as big as its overall number. But there are shows that do better with 18-49 year olds relative to their overall audience. In cable, that's called niche programming. Some advertisers only buy 18-49. Other's not so much. These days, I'm guessing advertisers (those that are left) will take any potential purchasers of their product they can get. ..

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The Holy Trinity of TV connoisseurs : For real TV nerds, shouldn't we drop Schwartz and put in Bryan Fuller ("Pushing Daisies," "Wonderfalls") as a show creator people supposedly love, love but then never watch?

Lisa de Moraes: No, you can't drop Schwartz because he's at the top of the list. And Bryan Fuller isn't at the top because those TV connoisseurs don't wet their pants over his stuff like they do over JJ, Josh and Joss...

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Arlington, Va.: Lisa, I was going to ask Hax this, but I think you're the better person to handle it. As a single person, my big Valentine's Day plan is to hang out at home, eating carrot cake for dinner and catching up on the various TV shows that are waiting for me on my DVR. I am perfectly happy with this plan. Is there something wrong with me?

Lisa de Moraes: Well, given that you have just described my Valentine's Day plans, I'm gonna pick "No." Though I'm going with take-out sushi instead of carrot cake...Feel free to email me that night and let me know how your TV viewing is going...

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Thirty Rocks, N.Y.: Great shout out to Alec Baldwin's brilliant Deposition scene in "Malice". It was one of his sins he confessed to just before the sodomizing of a then Vice-President due to the effects of a powerful Goverment Chemical Weapon.

Lisa de Moraes: Like I said, a brilliant episode. Matched only by the previous week's episode. Why is no one watching this show? Really, it beats me.

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Trust Whedon: Seriously. He can take a story and make it work, make it mean something. Let it build! If you translate the Shale's put-down talk, all he is saying is the show has some snark not sentiment, looks great in both actors and set, very snazzy and professional, movie-quality excitement and a complete lack of forensics, which is great. I for one am so over the forensics thing. Come on, drink everytime the show surprises you, how about that?

Lisa de Moraes: I'm thirstier than that. How about we compromise and say "every time the show surprises you AND every time she puts on a tight tank top"....

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Conan: Not that I necessarily disagree with you, but why do you say that the Norm bit means Conan is no Dave? Because he had no witty retort? Has Letterman had to face such an emperor's-new-clothes dressdown like that? And what about the rumors that the whole Phoenix appearance on David was a riff?

Lisa de Moraes: Conan? Is that you? ....Yes, Conan was put on the spot but I'm not buying that Dave was in on the Phoenix joke and even if he was, his lines were so brilliant he gets major props for them. "Sorry you couldn't be here with us," "We own an apology to Farrah." Dave has definitely woken up lately which is nice because I missed Brilliant Dave and am glad to see him back. Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm exhausted from all this slo-mo chatting. It's like having a moment of silence between every question. So I'm going to throw in the towel and hopefully we won't have this problem next week. Bye!

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