Celebritology Live: Chris Brown Charged; Brangelina Visit D.C.

You've Been Served... a Heaping Plate of Gossip

When stars shave their heads, marry (or divorce) inadvisedly, couch-jump, spend countless minutes in jail, commit a fashion faux pas and/or other random acts of ego-inspired inanity, washingtonpost.com Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly is on the job. Every weekday, Liz shares the buzz, offers perspective and provides crucial links to juicy alternate news sources and, of course, takes your reaction in her daily blog.

Join Liz LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

In her pre-celeb obsessed days (as if!), Liz ran washingtonpost.com's Discussions section, where she enjoyed talking to really interesting people -- sometimes even Post reporters -- on the phone. She still produces Pulitzer-prize winner Gene Weingarten's weekly Chatological Humor discussion and serves as co-proprietress of post.com's "Lost" Central.

Celebritology Live Archive

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Liz Kelly: Afternoon.

Chris Brown has been charged with two felonies in the alleged attack of one "Robyn F." (aka Rihanna). This despite a supposed reconciliation between the two and an word from sources that Rihanna won't testify against Brown.

Lots to talk about, including Branglina's visit to D.C., so let's just jump right in...

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Aniston's $50,000 haircut: Okay Jen didn't do anything other Hollywood celebs don't do, with flying and lodging her staff etc. But doesn't it seem a little Marie-Antoinette-ish to do so when there is so much genuine poverty in the U.S. and abroad right now? (Surely there is an A-list stylist in Paris who could have given her a blow-out.)

Liz Kelly: Well, let's be careful before condemning Jen as utterly out of touch. As you say, she isn't the first celeb to cart around an entourage -- for instance, we know Madonna often takes exercise guru Tracy Anderson on tour with her.

And as far as we know this was a benign situation. And if Jen is still trusting her locks to Chris McMillan, the two have been pals for years so taking him along to Europe would've been more of a friends with benefits situation -- the benefits in this case being a kickin' head of hair for Jen.

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Union Station: So, Brad and Angela are in town. Do I go out of my way to try and see them? Please give us a celeb-gawking guide.

Liz Kelly: Well now that depends on what your idea of an afternoon well spent. If so inclined you might be able to catch a glimpse of Angie filming near the Navy Memorial or Brad headed to or from Capitol Hill. If you'd rather observe from a distance (like me), the Reliable Source -- linked above -- is keeping tabs for us.

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Huh: Er, the Chris Brown arrest link goes instead to an entry on Lostpedia about "Olivia Goodspeed". I think Lost just got a little too metaphysical for me. Either that or the writers threw in one hell of a twist last night.

Liz Kelly: Doh -- apologies. I'm getting ahead of myself. The Chris Brown link is here and I can guarantee you he has nothing to do with "Lost."

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Jimmy Fallon: A sweet kid, but he's 34 and I'm wondering if the cute geek thing is ever going to morph into a more adult persona. (Sort of like John Cusack not wearing so well now that he is past 40, however much I loved "Say Anything.")

Liz Kelly: I have to confess I haven't watched yet. Should I?

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Dr. Drew on GOOP: Liz, I think Dr. Drew Pinsky articulated the frustration with the-insouciant-one's attitude about the GOOP criticism. In his Twitter feed he wrote: "Anybody else disturbed by Gwyneth Paltrow's : 'You don't really get it, because if you did, you would like it.' "

"Translation? 'If everyone would just experience the world through my eyes you would like everything I like.' " (2/26/09, 1:36pm)

He completely nails what is so irritating about her -- Oprah does the same thing when people criticize her new-agey directions.

Liz Kelly: Right -- Gwyneth is a victim of believing her own hype. Or, as The Post marketing department might put it "If you don't get it, you don't get it."

Here's the thing -- and I think we alluded to this a bit last week: Gwyneth's homespun advice (for the most part) is not that bad. It's just the spirit in which it is tendered -- that she is "nourishing" our "inner aspects" or somehow helping us to realize that the way we've been living (shopping, spiritualizing, cooking) is all wrong and with a few tweaks only communicable by Gwynnie we can all magically "get it" and find some kind of GOOPy nirvana where blond pixies frolic happily in little black dresses.

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Rihanna: As a mom, it makes my heart ache that this girl is not taking care of herself first. She is in over her head with this guy, and not listening to sound advice about how to protect herself. Nice boys don't get charged with two felonies for mistreating the girl they "love."

Liz Kelly: I'm trying hard to reserve judgment until we're in full possession of the facts, but if the leaked case material we've seen -- the pix of a bruised Rihanna and the bloodied Lamborghini -- are genuine, well then I'm with you. She needs to get as far away from this guy as possible.

But she's 21 and Brown is 19 and they wouldn't be the first young couple in history to confuse this kind of passion with love.

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Chris Brown/Rihanna: Anyone else see a quickie marriage in the not-too-distant future ?

Liz Kelly: According to Star, that's already happened -- but I'm skeptical of their claims that a preacher was summoned to Diddy's Miami mansion to marry the two over the weekend.

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Bachelor: Liz,

Why have you avoided this week's train wreck -- "The Bachelor" -- in your posts? Seems like a great opportunity to address the current state of reality TV and people treating each other badly for the sake of personal gain (or ratings). My bottom line is that Jason is a self-absorbed d-bag but I'm still trying to figure out why the second-choice chick Molly would want to be with him -- unless she is also that way. What's the deal?

Liz Kelly: The very simple answer is this: I don't watch "The Bachelor" and think any coverage of the "did they or didn't they rig this thing" story belonged with Lisa De Moraes and our TV coverage. I would take it up with her tomorrow.

(Although, yes, I will continue to occasionally chime in on the absurdity that is the "Real Housewives" and definitely cover celebrity-related reality TV.)

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Liz Kelly: Speaking of Gwyneth, has anyone else seen "Two Lovers" -- currently in some theaters and available on OnDemand? It is Joaquin Phoenix's last (for now) movie and Gwyneth actually does a pretty good job in it playing a drug addicted soul-sucking It girl.

More importantly Joaquin actually raps and breakdances in a couple of scenes in the film and I had to wonder if those moments could somehow have been what set him off on his unlikely journey to become a hirsute rapper.

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Gene?: As Gene's beloved Chatwoman, would you be able to share any news of his surgery? Should we band together to send him a large basket of dark chocolates?

Liz Kelly: As far as I know Gene came through his operation like a champ and is now on the road to recovery. I think he's asked for -- and well-deserving of -- a little privacy and space right now.

But, he will be online Monday to discuss his upcoming Post Magazine cover story. So, stay tuned...

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Tidal, W.V.: The Secrets of Men's Celebrity Crushes post yesterday got me thinking, so I pose this question to all of my fellow men out there: do you, too, have a concept of someone being too hot, or hot but trying too hard?

My problem with Megan Fox isn't that she's not hot; objectively, she is very much so, but perhaps too much so, and loses some sort of x-factor because of it. I throw Paris Hilton in that category.

Then there's the trying too hard crowd (say, the Olsens) who take their efforts to be hot too far, even if they succeed.

Whereas someone like ScarJo (or Tina Fay):

1) is hot in just existing;

2) has that ever elusive x-factor, some quality that transcends the physical realm.

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I think I've totally over-analyzed this. Is that creepy, nerdy, or just guy-like?

washingtonpost.com: I don't even know where to begin...

Liz Kelly: I'm sure producer Paul knows exactly where to begin.

But I see your point -- there is definitely a continuum with, say, ScarJo on one end and that freak of nature Lisa Rinna on the other. I think Megan Fox falls somewhere closer to ScarJo on that line, though. She is naturally beautiful in many ways -- she's just overdoing the sexpot thing a little bit.

Though thousands of men who voted in that AOL poll clearly don't agree.

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McLean, Va.: Liz, Do you quilt?

washingtonpost.com: Uncovered! The Unseemly Side of Quilts (Post, March 5)

Liz Kelly: I don't, though Mr. Liz does... though what he does is more like using fabric as paint.

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Nerdy News channel gossip: CNN's legal expert Jeffery Toobin has been stepping out on his wife with the daughter of CBS's political guru Jeff Greenfield -- and now Greenfield's daughter is pregnant? Is this for real?

washingtonpost.com: Did Married CNN Analyst Get Competitor's Daughter Pregnant? (Gawker.com)

Liz Kelly: I've been watching that story (from a distance) in the New York Daily News and -- wow -- talk about a dark horse candidate for loverboy.

It definitely makes for a refreshing change from Madonna and Jesus.

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Miley the victim: I find it strange that Miley Cyrus continually casts herself as a victim in whatever situation she's in:

Autobiography -- she is routinely harassed by mean girl bullies.

Racist "slant eye" pictures -- people are picking on her because Britney has gotten her act together.

Jogging in a bikini -- "Kill me! I'm wearing a two-piece" etc.

Do you think she really identifies herself as victimized by the press, or is she trying to craft an image for herself as a poor-little-rich-girl-popstar?

Liz Kelly: Keep in mind that I have nothing aside from Miley's own words to back up this theory, but:

I think that Miley is a spoiled ego-centric little girl who has an inflated sense of self only reinforced by an entourage of sycophants led by her parents who give her everything she wants -- Porsches, inappropriately-aged boyfriends, etc. -- at the expense of creating a rounded human being capable of understanding others.

She's so used to being told she's wonderful that anyone who dissents is instantly viewed as an attacker or bully.

She's definitely way worse than Gwyneth. Lets hope she doesn't suddenly develop an interest in cooking.

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More importantly Joaquin actually raps and breakdances in a couple of scenes in the film : AND, was he any good?

Liz Kelly: No. But then he was playing an emotionally-stunted suicidal adult who still lived in his parents small Brooklyn apartment and worked in the family dry-cleaning business. This wasn't "8 Mile."

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Michelle Obama: Just wanted to let you know Michelle Obama was at Western Presbyterian church in Foggy Bottom today, feeding the D.C. homeless. Apparently, one of her priorities is nutrition and she heard about the emphasis on healthy meals at Miriam's Kitchen and decided to visit. A great time was had by all!

Liz Kelly: Thanks for sharing. Was she sleeveless?

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Baltimore: My home-city (St. Louis) is going ga-ga for George Clooney!

washingtonpost.com: Clooney has St. Louisans star-struck (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

Liz Kelly: Who can blame them?

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Celebritology for iPhone?: Liz Kelly, I love your blog and this discussion. I think all the blogs and discussions that WaPost online hosts really set it apart from so many other online newspapers. Any chance of the Washington Post creating some sort of iPhone (or, to be fair and balanced, Blackberry) application to directly link people into WaPost blogs and/or discussions? Or, for that matter, linking users to the news on the site? The NYTimes has done a decent job of this, I think the Post could do much better! The current "wireless device" feature of the Post Web site, well, sucks, and the main page is hard to read without doing a lot, a LOT, of up/down/sideways scrolling and zooming.

Sorry this isn't really celeb-related, but having this and other WaPost content within a few taps of my iPhone would be awesome!

Liz Kelly: I'll pass this along to our Tools team.

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Harrisburg, Pa.: You may be able to settle one of the great unasked question that puzzles millions of Americans. Every so often, in the lower left corner of the TV, a red box appears. What is this red box and why is it there?

Liz Kelly: Okay, I'm stumped. Could it be that you are hallucinating?

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Watching a car wreck in progress - Rihanna edition: I realize people are innocent until proven guilty, but NO ONE has floated an alternate theory of why Rihanna's face was bruised and beaten (no allegations of someone else on the scene, no allegations that she had a seizure of some kind, etc.) Thus the probability is high that Chris Brown is the culprit. To have the entertainment industry zip their lips while she returns to her abuser is sick. (Except for the folks who are making excuses for Chris Brown: Kanye, Terrance Howard; or facilitating a reunion -- Diddy.) The only brave person so far has been Usher, who after expressing dismay at the situation, has been forced to apologize.

The whole thing is enormously upsetting.

Liz Kelly: I agree. I'm guessing that many were waiting for Brown to be charged before speaking out. Now that the D.A. has taken a stance, it makes for a more solid place from which to criticize the guy.

And I think the proof will be in the pudding. I don't care what Terrence Howard or anyone else says -- this guy's career is OVER.

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Anonymous: Liz : Is that really you ? Your answers seem very "grown-up" today and I have a feeling someone else is there pretending to be you. But would you tell me if I was right ? One way to prove it is to post a picture of Andy and/or Opie. Thanks !

Liz Kelly: So you're saying I'm normally immature?

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everyone goes gaga for George Clooney....: A friend of mine is an actress, and she had a recurring role on "The West Wing." She was in town for the show a few years back, and I was hanging out with her and another bigger named actress. We heard that George Clooney was spotted nearby (this was a few years ago, when he was in town for "K Street" on HBO). They both immediately went nuts like a bunch of 12-year-olds. It was hilarious.

Liz Kelly: Oh come on -- who is the bigger named actress?

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Nosy Parker: Re Aniston's hair-dresser: That's nothing compared to a story I recall from some time ago that Jennifer Lopez's entourage included a full-time eyebrow groomer just to maintain JLo's brows.

Liz Kelly: Not to mention the Madame Tussaud's technician responsible for keeping Marc Anthony's skeleton lifelike.

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washingtonpost.com: Ms. Kelly's browser crashed, but she'll be back in a moment.

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washingtonpost.com: While she's away though: one end of the continuum.

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Liz Kelly: Apologies -- my Firefox crashed. It's been doing that a lot lately. Stupid computers. I trust Paul behaved himself in my absence?

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Brangelina kids: Are the children along for the Washington visit?

Liz Kelly: I haven't seen any sign of them this time. Maybe they're hanging back in their new fallout shelter.

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Marc Anthony: Ouch, Liz! Dead people need love too, ya know?

Liz Kelly: True true.

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washingtonpost.com: It's too bad there are no lawyers in this chat to discuss the legal implications of a quickie marriage...

Liz Kelly: Are you trying to crash the chat system?

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Fey/Fox: I would want to party Megan Fox because I think that after enough drinks, I could convince her to take her shirt off, get up on the bar, and dance.

I would want to party with Tina Fey because I think that after enough drinks she could convince me to take my shirt off, get up on the bar, and dance.

Both parties would be completely awesome for completely different reasons.

Liz Kelly: Now where were you yesterday when I was asking for the best explanation?

You woulda won.

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TSA: "Liz Kelly: Not to mention the Madame Tussaud's technician responsible for keeping Marc Anthony's skeleton lifelike."

Can they declare the bottles of formaldehyde, or must they put it into checked luggage? I can't imagine a quart-sized Ziploc with 3-oz. bottles would be sufficient.

washingtonpost.com: Perhaps there is a voodoo priest involved.

Liz Kelly: Right -- or perhaps J.Lo keeps mark vivified with a few spritzes of Miami Glow.

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Excuses for Chris: To the other chatter's point, I agree people have been mostly silent about the situation. But folks like Terrance Howard (who himself has been arrested for domestic abuse) are ridiculous in my opinion. I never heard Kanye condone this behavior and Usher did apologize, which I don't think he should have.

I don't think anyone is speaking up because, as Liz said, he is "innocent until proven guilty." I just think the entire situation is sad. And if either were my child, they would not have been traipsing around the world by themselves with unlimited access to money, etc. Which I think is the major problem here. People forget that these are two really young people -- heck Chris Brown is still a teenager.

Liz Kelly: Well said.

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re: Dead people need love too, ya know?: Yeah, but Sookie is annoying as hell. Bill could've done better.

Liz Kelly: Awww, I like Sookie.

And you know those two are dating in real life, right?

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Nosy Parker: With only slight editing, to what proportion of celebrities do you think your comment "a spoiled ego-centric (child) who has an inflated sense of self only reinforced by an entourage of sycophants .. who give (the celebrity) everything (he or) she wants" applies? Could you please restore our faith in humanity by naming some of the most unspoiled major stars you know of?

Liz Kelly: Hmmm, well, Meryl Streep comes to mind as particularly grounded.

And, well, not to overdo the Tina Fey references in today's chat -- but, hello, major star who seems to not inhale her own fumes.

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Quatch Cave: Could respondents name any female celebrity with whom they would like to "party," or did they have to select from a list? Anyway, what other result would you expect from AOL users? You used to have to deal with them, correct?

Liz Kelly: Indeed. I toiled in the AOL mines for five long years. That was a long time ago, though. Back when people had to pay for their AOL access by the minute.

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Home sick today but feeling better...: Ms. Kelly : You are the Link Monster Master today ! And to think some doubted it was really you...

Liz Kelly: I'm glad my html abilities have restored your faith in me.

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This wasn't "8 Mile.": Liz - don't give Wiggity Wack Wokim any ideas! I can see him donning the hoodie and yelling at Kim Basinger already. (shudders...)

Liz Kelly: Now that would be a worthwhile remake.

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the other end of the continuum: Jocelyn Wildenstein.

washingtonpost.com: Are you sure that's not Andy?

Liz Kelly: Hey -- Andy has way better cheekbones.

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Hershey : I have a theoretical (or philosophical?) question for you. Say you have a bowl of dark chocolate jenifer anistons and a bowl of milk chocolate angelina's...which one would disappear first?

washingtonpost.com: Or perhaps a giant chocolate Ditka?

Liz Kelly: Producer Paul -- that sounds vaguely obscene. Explain yourself.

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brow groomer: If I could afford an entourage, I'm not sure I wouldn't hire an eyebrow groomer too. Such a simple thing that keeps a face looking wonderful. Plus, the salary probably covers full body wax and tweezing services. I wouldn't have to deal with the hassle of finding a good waxing person in every town I travel to.

washingtonpost.com: If her eyebrows require their own person, how many people does it take to maintain JLo's main asset?

Liz Kelly: Okay, I am totally distracted by Producer Paul now.

Paul -- are you implying that J.Lo's main asset is, umm, hirsute?

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Baltimore: Re "The Bachelor": I simply don't understand the numbers a show like this gets. Do people think this stuff is actually "real" when, in reality, it is about as unscripted as a Royal Shakespeare Company production of Hamlet. I mean, I can understand watching Rock Of Love or that Bret Michaels show, because they are deliberately on the level of professional wrestling, but "The Bachelor?"

Liz Kelly: I have to admit, I don't get the whole "Bachelor" thing. If I'm going to watch scripted romance I don't want half-hearted skankiness -- I want the real deal. And I want those people fighting over someone totally unappealing -- like Flavor Flav or Bret Michaels (whose slight attractiveness is canceled out by his willingness to kiss anything in lycra).

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Used Car Lot: Who owned the Lamborghini? What are two late teens doing driving a $300K car?

Liz Kelly: The Lamborghini's provenance hasn't been mentioned in any of the stories.

But these aren't just teens -- these kids are making major bank.

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Iro, NY: Oh sure, you can spend hours discussing a TV show when it is "Lost" but when nice, celebritology loving people like me want to talk about the silly Bachelor show, suddenly you don't do TV. Well.

Liz Kelly: I hear you. "Lost" is an exception and, well, this here blog ain't a democracy.

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Michelle O again: Nope, not sleeveless. Grey wide-legs pants and orange-y cardigan over ruffled blouse. Very nice look!

Liz Kelly: Excellent.

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Madonna: If Madonna and Jesus stay together can their celebrity name (ala Brangelina) be "The Holy Family?" In related news, did I just write my ticket to hell?

Liz Kelly: Yes -- we just need to complete the trilogy. Who should we cast in the role of God the father?

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New York, N.Y.: 1. Hilary never came to Western Presb. when I lived in the dorm around the corner while at GW. (But if she had we probably would have complained about the security disrupting us -- it is a very whiny student body.)

2. You are in touch with the tech people, right? Every time I refresh a chat this week it completely crashes my IE 7. Does this happen to a lot people or it is just my boss telling me to do more work?

washingtonpost.com: This is the first I've heard of the IE7 problem. Anyone else?

Liz Kelly: Anyone?

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Washington, D.C.: Ok, I'd like to preface this with a "what chris brown did was beyond wrong". That being said, I do sympathize with him a bit. This guy grew up in an abusive household and was predisposed for this kind of crap no matter how much he didn't want to be. He needs help, and lots of therapy. Granted, not all abused kids hit, but it could be argued that this path was semi-predetermined. I think Rihanna needs tons of therapy too if this is the person she wants to be with also. I'm not going to condemn her for her decisions, but they should have to have around the clock therapy until they can figure out why they are in this situation. Quick clarification: I define Rihanna's "situation" as deciding to continue a relationship with someone who has abused her.

Liz Kelly: I'm putting this out there only because it is an opinion I've seen expressed elsewhere, though I've got to say I don't subscribe to this logic at all.

First of all, as you say, there are plenty of children who grow up in abusive households who manage to not perpetuate that cycle. And Brown seemed to be particularly aware of this considering that he has in the past condemned his mother's boyfriend for abuse she suffered at his hands in Brown's childhood.

Secondly, I'm not a psychologist but I play one (at least for celebs) in this chat, and I think many docs would agree that the best thing for these two -- if they really do want to be together and healthy -- is for them to be apart now. To each heal separately and learn how to deal with their emotions before falling right back into their well-worn relationship groove.

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Red Box on TV: Shhhh! It's how the Galactic Overlords control us, through brainwaves.

Don't let anyone know; your life will be in danger.

Liz Kelly: Do you see the red box in the corner of your browser window?

No? Good.

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Liz Kelly: Okay. I'm running late for the "Lost" chat and I don't want Jen to get all up in my grill.

See you here next week and in the blog tomorrow...

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washingtonpost.com: Please join Liz and Jen Chaney for the 'Lost' Hour.

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