John Kelly's Washington

John Kelly
Washington Post Metro Columnist
Friday, March 20, 2009; 1:00 PM

John Kelly writes about the Washington that doesn't make it onto the front pages. His five-day-a-week Metro column, John Kelly's Washington, is about the normal -- well, relatively normal -- people who call our region home. It's about the joys and annoyances of living in the most important city in the most important country in the world -- as experienced by those of us who, frankly, aren't that important. His blog, John Kelly's Commons, is a place for readers to carry on a digital conversation.

Today: Chat with John about chopper noise, government gobbledygook, the science of the hangover and anything else that tickles your fancy

Discussion Archives / Recent Columns


John Kelly: I hope the shake-up hasn't thrown you off too much. I had a super-secret mega-important career-defining meeting at noon and so had to bump us back an hour. Yes, it represents a rip in the time/space continuum but hopefully we can get through this together.

What more is there to say really? And I mean that, since I have nothing more to say. Let's go.


Upper Marlboro, Md.: On the helicopter article: Wow, are you moronic or just stupid? Would it have been a wonderful thing if the pilot had been temporarily blinded and crashed into the neighborhood, perhaps into your "hero's" home? I know you like to be "edgy" and "anti-establishment", but I didn't know stupid was part of your repertoire. Making a Point (Allegedly) About Chopper Noise (Post, March 19)

John Kelly: Oh my repertoire runs from "Stephen Hawkin-genius" to "dumb-as-a-stump stupid." Usually I try to pitch my column somewhere in the middle.

Here's the thing: Like my hangover column, my chopper column reflected Actual Events. I'm not so stupid that I really want helicopters crashing everywhere, brought down by people misusing cat toys. But I am sympathetic to people with complaints about chopper noise. This guy handled it the wrong way. But tell me what the right way is. Who do you call? How do you complain? Do you have any idea how hard it is? Even the FAA wasn't much help when I called.

I don't live in an area heavily traveled by military copters. I suppose those copters don't hover as much as news/traffic helicopters do. And while police helicopters can seem bothersome at the time, I think most people agree once they find out what it was that they feel safer knowing that law enforcement has eyes in the skies.


Colorado Springs, Cool.: We travel often to D.C., and are shocked to learn that D.C. does not honor HANDICAP Placards from other states. Will this ever be changed?

John Kelly: I wrote about this a few years back and couldn't remember what the specifics were of if this has changed. I called DDOT and they directed me to this link. The pertinent section reads:
Disability parking placards/permits or tags from DC or any state allow you to:

Park in any parking space designated for a disabled person.
Park for double the posted time in metered or time-restricted spaces
Park for free at metered spaces.

Is that not the case in reality?


Silver Spring, Md.: So 'splain this one to me John. The Post publishes a story saying PG police have released photos of handbags possibly missing from the Largo murder scene. The story includes a description of the bags and notes that police are asking the public for assistance. Pictures of the bags appear on But no pictures in the paper, the method of circulation most likely to reach the target audience.

Plenty of room for other photos, though, just not these.

John Kelly: I had the same reaction. When the story is about photos, why not run the photos? Here's the photo.


SW D.C.: Do I smell a hangover stories column coming up? Sometimes I think you write columns like that with an unspoken solicitation to readers to send you their own stories. I think that's really cool. Is it true?

John Kelly: I ALWAYS want stuff from readers, both e-mails sent to me, comments after my stories, comments on my blog and postings on my chat. Sometimes I make specific requests but "John Kelly's Washington" is often a wet finger stuck in the wind.

As for my hangover column I got two very strongly-worded e-mails accusing me of slighting the very real problem of college drinking. They said I condoned alcoholism. I don't think I do, but I did want--do want--my column to be realistic. In the real world, people sometimes drink more than they should. The mere fact that Catholic University had a chemistry lecture on the subject the day before St. Patrick's Day tells me they saw an opportunity for some education.

Having said all that, this chat is probably the best forum for hangover stories. Let's hear them.


Adams Morgan, Washington, D.C.: I think I saw ET on the Metro this past Tuesday. He was small, wrinkly, had a big head with big eyes, and he mumbled incomprehensible words. Did you see him, John?

John Kelly: I hope he wasn't eating Reese's Pieces on the Metro. That could get him locked up. And if had cell phone service from anyone other than Verizon he wouldn't be able to phone home from anywhere underground. And even with Verizon things are a little sketchy near Gallery Place. Finally, was ICE after him? That way you'd know whether he was an illegal alien.


oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOO: pleasepleaseplease don't be fired or leaving the Post. You are truly one of the best things about it. You are just a wonderful writer who truly captures the joys of everyday life.

John Kelly: Whoops, sorry to give that impression. No, just a committee meeting with some other Post peeps. Luckily, I've Photoshopped pictures of all the company bigwigs in the company of farm animals. They know not to mess with me.


Silver Spring, Md.: You have a wife and two daughters and didn't know what a convertible bra is?

John Kelly: The caller is referring to my blog today, in which I joke about an e-mail I received regarding women's foundation garments.

But to answer your question: I try to stay as far away as possible from the feminine accouterments in my household.


Gaithersburg, Md.: Regarding the talk last week about trampoline centers, in the 60s there was one on Rockville Pike right next to the McDonalds (when it still had the golden arches) and for a special treat my parents would load us all in the station wagon and travel from Bethesda, eat at McDonald's and then go jump on the trampolines. It was like a big adventure for us kids!

John Kelly: And probably an adventure for the kids who went on the trampoline after you. I hope they hosed it off after you went a-jumpin' with a belly full of Big Mac and fried apple pie.


Rodetr, IP: John, where do I want to go on vacation next month - Williamsburg or Lancaster?

John Kelly: I've been to both and each has pros and cons. Lancaster is great for antiquing, lotsa little and big flea markets and antique shops. Williamsburg's better on the history and the little village is quite beautiful. And if you prefer there's always Busch Gardens.

How do other chatters vote?


D.C.: Hi John,

I'm a government decision maker. I review claims for monetary benefits, look at all the evidence and make (implied) factual findings much like a jury would. If the evidence is there and believable, I grant the claims (sometimes for a whooooooole lot of money). Unfortunately, when it's obvious that you, the claimant, are simply lying or of such very low intelligence that you simply don't understand what's going on or have a dysfunctional B cluster personality disorder (or traits), I can't tell you in plain English that I know you're lying, confused, or dysfuntionally needy. I have to obfuscate the obvious and let you know in roundabout terms that you simply don't meet the threshold for entitlement to monetary benefits. I'd like to tell you that I know you're lying, but the government won't let me. So, you get gobbledegook.

John Kelly: What sort of language do you use? Is it language that a more intelligent person might understand? It seems that even dumb people should be allowed to understand decisions concerning them, if only so they don't come right back at you with another request.

Note that I'm not criticizing you. I'd really love to hear some of the approved language, even if only for entertainment purposes. I enjoyed deconstructing a jargon-filled job description in my blog earlier this week.


Don't know what a convertible bra is?: Hey, I'm a woman, and although I know what a convertible bra is, the name still makes me do a doubletake, think, rethink every time. The name just implies it's a lot more exciting than it is!

John Kelly: You know what I'd like to see? A bra with a sunroof. I mean, you can get pants with a moonroof, right? (Heh heh heh...)


Frederick, Md.: John, the darn rabbits are eating my crocus. Other than a seven foot snake, how do stop the rabbits??

John Kelly: Crucify a single rabbit as a warning to the others?

Isn't there something about fox blood or lion dung keeping away garden pests?


Wiredog: John, Just wanted to share with you the United States Army Miracle Hangover Cure, which I discovered while a soldier in the 80s.

Get up at oh dark hundred, drink a glass of water, and run 5 miles. At a 7-minute mile pace. While calling cadence. Cured every hangover I had while I was in the Army.

Of course, that was 25 years, and about 60 pounds, ago...

John Kelly: I think that's also known as the Nietzsche Hangover Cure: That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger.


13th St S.E.: The best hangover cure: Sausage Egg McMuffin and a large coke. Something about the grease, the carbonation and the caffeine fix me right up.

John Kelly: And you're ready to go to Trampolines R Us!

I used to find that rolling white bread into little balls* and eating them made me feel better. Of course, I was usually rolled into a little ball myself.

*They looked like something you'd put on the end of a hook to catch carp.


Blacksburg, Va.: Since it's next month, I would pick Williamsburg. April in Williamsburg is absolutely gorgeous -- everything is in full bloom and the weather is perfect. Things are still a little mucky in Lancaster in April.

If you asked about July, I would recommend the reverse (unless you happen to love being in a steaming sauna all day long).

John Kelly: That's a good, scientific suggestion.


Arlington, Va.: John, I need to answer something you asked last week because I know you've been losing sleep over it! The line "The call is coming from inside the house" is from "When a Stranger Calls." This movie (the original, because, really, did we need a remake?) terrified my teenage self so much that it ended my babysitting career.

Okay, you can sleep now.

John Kelly: It's a wonder anyone babysits any more, since poor babysitters are chum for every yellow-toothed, ax-wielding, hockey mask-wearing, maternally-confused psycho killer in the movies.

That conceit--"The call is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!"--wouldn't even work anymore, would it? Technology makes it possible to call anyone from anywhere at anytime. What would a modern equivalent be? "He's calling from THE NEXT TOILET STALL!!!" Not quite the same ring.


Edit Demon, D.C.: So, hangover stories...I don't have a lot, considering I don't drink, but my brother had a fun one. When he was a teen, he usually stayed out late on weekends, and slept in late, as many teens are prone to doing. He got up around 1 p.m. on a Saturday, and wandered out into the kitchen where my mom was standing, and she (just joking with him, of course), said "What's the matter? Have a hangover?" He just blinked a couple times, and said, "How did you know?"

John Kelly: Ah, mothers. FBI interrogators have nothing on them.

As memorable as my Brezhnev hangover was, my last serious hangover--about four years ago--was the one that convinced me I'd rather not have any more ever again. That was from a colleague's Frank Sinatra party. Big vodka martinis where they didn't skimp on the vodka. I slept into the afternoon the next day but it was our housewarming. We'd invited all our friends and neighbors. I seriously thought I'd have to just spend the entire day propped up in bed like an invalid, as guests wandered into the room.

Even a year spent living in England didn't give me a hangover like that one.


"Crucify a single rabbit...": Hmm, I see the Easter holiday is celebrated differently at the Kelly house.

John Kelly: Hey, if he's any kind of rabbit he'll be up and hopping three days later.


Jersey: Concerning last Tuesday:

Why is it not acceptable to stereotype blacks, Jews, Italians, Mexicans, etc., but it is acceptable to stereotype the Irish?

John Kelly: A good question. I raised it myself with the professor. St. Patrick's Day is associated with Ireland. St. Patrick's Day is associated with drinking. Ireland is associated with Roman Catholocism. Brookland is associated with Irish Americans. Catholic University is in Brookland. You mix it all together and you get the reason CU publicized last week's lecture and the professor wore shamrock deelyboppers on her head.


A bra with a sunroof: That's a shelf bra. (I am not making this up.)

John Kelly: Is that the same thing as a "balconet"?

You can see why they call them "foundation" garments. It's like they're digging footers or something.


re D.C.: Hi gobbley gook writer, Not all of us are lying, I am on step four of trying to get my mother reimbursed for rabies shots because a bat bit her. The powers that be continue to send me gobbleygook letters that basically state that rabies shots are vaccines and vaccines are not covered by Medicare. I have the information that shows that it is covered because she was bitten by an animal. I next expect to hear that they do not consider a bat an animal.

John Kelly: Why aren't vaccines covered by Medicare? Wouldn't it be cheaper to vaccinate to prevent expensive future illnesses?


SW D.C.: Re: hangover stories. I've had plenty myself being a skinny fellow, but the worst I ever saw was not my own. My best friend and college roommate is 6' 3" and 285 lbs. and could consume tremendous amounts of liquor with nothing more than a slight headache the next day. But he was done in by Election Day 2000. The nerve settling drinks as the day wore on, the celebratory drinking when it looked like Gore won, the depressed drinking when it looked like Bush won, then the nervous drinking again as it became clear that there was no resolution in sight. To this day, the very sight of any Seagrams product makes him queasy.

John Kelly: I hope he didn't spend the last eight years drinking.


"Crucify a single rabbit..." again ...: So, how will you be able to tell if the rabbit you intend to crucify is single? If he doesn't yell, "Please! No! I have a wife!!"?

John Kelly: Honestly, have you ever seen a monogamous rabbit? They can't keep their paws off each other.


Frederick's crocus: Would you like to rent my cat? We haven't had bunnies in the yard in years. Also no moles, chipmunks, mice etc. The only downside is if the leftovers end up on the patio.

John Kelly: I wonder if you could train a cat to go after only certain things, the way you train bird dogs, or those water birds they use in China to catch fish. (Remember those Chinese birds? I remember seeing some documentary or reading a book when I was a kid. The birds had rings around their throats so they couldn't swallow the big fish?)


Wow! Bonus points!!: You get special bonus points today just for spelling "Nietzsche" correctly.

That's just pietzsche.

John Kelly: Confession: I Googled it. And I'm not ashamed to admit it.


Lost and Found: per your glove project and some stuff I lost while drinking too much, why is there not one standardized, consolidated Internet lost and found?

There is craigslist and some other sites that pop up when you google 'lost and found'

There needs to be 1 lost and found site that everyone is aware of. no?

John Kelly: That sounds like something from a science fiction movie. I like it. Perhaps some clever undergraduate could write a program that searches all the various sources--Craigslist, neighborhood listservs, newspaper classifieds, from all the world over--and combines them. Of course, the downside is you'd click on "Found: Charm bracelet" only to be presented with 32,498 possibilities.


Cormorants: they were cormorants, John, and they just fish for any fish. The fisherman just take them where the type of fish they want is hanging out. The book was called Ping.

John Kelly: Thanks. Now what was the name of the book about the five Chinese brothers? Was it called "The Five Chinese Brothers"?

Also, last week someone asked about a reptile book. Several people e-mailed to say it must have been "Crictor."


"Have you ever seen a monogamous rabbit?": Now you're stereotyping rabbits!

John Kelly: Speaking of rabbits, I hope everyone saw my blog today where in my regular Friday feature--BritNews RoundUp--I linked to a story about Monty Python's headline/words I seem to remember that did a pretty good number on that rabbit. Maybe the person with the chewed crocuses could use one.


The Rabbit: That's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!

John Kelly: Speaking of which...


Hangover cures: My friend was a Navy Corpsman (medic). He had a miracle cure. 1 bag of Ringer's Lactate taken intravenously before first formation. According to him, it worked every time.

John Kelly: I suppose that only works if you're not too hung over to find a vein.


Hangover story: After college, when I started "real" job but still had the benefit of being very immature, I lived in an apartment complex shaped like a U with a pool in the middle that catered to the just-after-college demographic. One particular night, my roommate had many too many drinks. After midnight, I went to a convenience store and bought additional party supplies and lottery tickets. We drank the party supplies upon my return, and later I put the lottery tickets on my roommate's dresser where he typically put all his stuff from his emptied pockets at the end of each day. Late the next morning, the group of partygoers and I were downstairs recounting the prior evening's triumphs. My roommate came down with a hangover of Rushmoric proportions. He also brought with him a glass of water, a cup of coffee, the morning newspaper and his lottery tickets. Much to his surprise, when he was checking his tickets against the list of winning numbers in that morning's paper, he had matched all 6 (plus the power ball). He was a winner! He ran many circles around the pool celebrating his new- found wealth but became suspicious when we were not as enthusiastic as he was and instead were laughing at him. His joy turned to anger as we confessed to slipping a lottery ticket from early that morning after the drawing into his pile of tickets from the night before. I'm not sure he would have been so excited or so pliable for this if not for his monster hangover.

John Kelly: Ha ha! That's funny. And he really should appreciate that you didn't shave his head or write something rude on his forehead.


this has nothing to do with trampoline centers: but when I was a very young girl, there was a store was nothing but a hugh race track for slot cars. We'd go with my dad, and man, that was fun!

John Kelly: I remember those. Some people--adult men, mostly--took that very seriously. It was a far cry from those little home slot car sets that, in my experience, would always get gunked up with carpet fibers.

I guess the Wii has replaced going outside the home to do these sorts of things.


Lapine Jesus: Given their short gestation times, does that mean bunny Armageddon will arrive quicker than the human second coming?

John Kelly: All I know is if you see a guinea pig with "666" in his fur you'd better hope your affairs are in order.


Approved language: Same guy. There is no list of 'approved language' as far as standard grants or denials go, but there is a line that ought not be crossed. To paraphrase Justice Potter, the line is hard to define, but you'll know it when you see it. And yes, an intelligent, educated person (like a liberal arts major type) will be able to read between the lines and decode the decision to understand that I know he or she is lying.

John Kelly: But the bottom line is the same, right? If you believed him, he'd get his money? Or might it be that he's telling the truth but the truth doesn't fit neatly into any of the pre-approved boxes, as in: We don't cover vaccines.


"cheaper to vaccinate ": That's the problem. The medical industry doesn't want cheaper. While the government would love to pay less through Medicare/Medicaid, the medical industry wants to get as much money as they possibly can. If something isn't covered, that's more they can charge their patients. Fun, fun!

John Kelly: Obama'll fix it.


The line "The call is coming from inside the house" is from "When a Stranger Calls." : It's a LOT older than that. It's an urban legend that goes way back; I was nine years old in 1963, when I overheard my aunt telling it to my mother ("a friend of a friend told me her niece...") and that movie is from sometime around 1980.

John Kelly: Nowadays we'd just to to see if it's true.


Lancaster, Pa.: In your experience, is the Wii harmless fun, or the death- knell of civilization?

John Kelly: Oh, hi. I don't know, but a chatter might be visiting you soon. Unless s/he decides to go to Williamsburg.


Anonymous: I second the nomination for Sausage Egg McMuffin and would like to also nominate the Sausage Egg and Cheese Biscuit which is far superior to the McMuffin. This is based on years of personal research.

In fact, a few years ago my boyfriend and I ordered so many McDonald's breakfast sandwiches/hangover miracles for our friends that McDonalds had a terrible time processing the bill. I think it topped off at about $75

John Kelly: I hope you got the fraternity discount.

Here's what a reader named "blackgrrl23" commented on my column:

My hangover remedy...

Pre-game with a b-complex vitamin or 2 bananas. Throw in a general multivitamin too if you feel like it. Drink Gatorade. One of those big bottles. yeah.

THEN commence drinking (while snacking on Hooter's know, since you just came for the great food and team atmosphere *wink*).

For every 2nd drink (whether beer or shot or glass of wine), down a glass or 2 of water.

Before passing out, brush your teeth or at least your face and have another large glass of water in that big 'ol cup you got the iced tea in off the dollar menu. :) Pop 2 Advil if you tend to get headaches, it will help and work on you while you sleep. If you happen to get up in the middle of the night, pee and drink more water.

In the morning if you wake up and you are in a place you recognize and you have no sharpie on your face or your shoes glued to the ceiling, get up and have another banana or 2 and as much Gatorade as you can drink without exploding. Carry on with your day...but stay close to the bathroom. In extreme hangover cases, substitute pedialyte for Gatorade. (the fake CVS brand works just as good. I recommend grape flavor, keep chilled in your fridge because you won't remember to buy it the next morning, trust me!)

Like colt 45 malt every time.:)


Why is it acceptable to stereotype the Irish?: I wasn't stereotyping the Irish. I wore green last Tuesday ONLY so people I don't like in my office wouldn't pinch me. Not kidding.

John Kelly: St. Patrick's Day: Alcohol and workplace harassment. What's not to love?


When a Stranger Calls remix: Would probably involve the babysitter checking the Twitter of what she thinks is a fake serial killer, only to see a tweet posted from a Blackberry in the bedroom upstairs.

John Kelly: I like it. If M. Night Shymalan is reading this chat he has his next movie. (And I didn't bother Googling his name, so it may be wrong.)


Timberwood Ave.: I live in your old 'hood and can assure you that the noise from helicopters and "Buddy Holly special" airplanes is deafening, especially the 3 a.m. Thursday special that takes pride in brushing the treetops across my yard. I thought seriously about getting out there with a flashlight before this guy with the pointer. Glad I didn't. Second only in annoyance is the seemingly endless stream of sirens from emergency service vehicles from the nearby volunteer fire department. If only motorists would pull over when these vehicles go by, that would save on the duration of the sirens. Also, is Montgomery County the only metropolitan area that still requires a fire engine to go out with an ambulance?

John Kelly: Three a.m.? That's about three hours too early. I get traffic helicopters in my neighborhood along with Montgomery County's twin-engine/twin-tail traffic monitoring plane.

As for ambulances, I think D.C. sends a fire truck with an ambulance.


Baltimore, Md.: Re saying Williamsburg in the place to go for history: You do know that the place is, in effect, a theme park. The original Williamsburg had long since vanished when the Rockefellers decided that they wanted to give American people a sense of their history, acquired the land and built what is there now. There may be stuff to learn, but it's not like going to the Tower of London where you really can see where Anne Boleyn got beheaded.

John Kelly: But if you're interested in history it's more of a focus there. My older daughter is really into the history stuff, for example, and I took her when she was little to a program where kids dress up in period clothing and make griddlecakes and stuff. She loved it. Of course, then she caught smallpox.


Bachelor Party Hangover: I won't offer much detail on the party and the drinking, which was legendary. I will say that I was the first who was forced by illness to leave.

But I woke the next morning and for the only time ever called in sick to work because of my hangover. I tried my usual first step of water and Tylenol and followed with my sure-fire hangover cure, apricot nectar.

Didn't help much; could barely keep it down. I went back to bed briefly.

Got up again around 10 a.m. not feeling much better. Then I realized -- my apartment was due to be exterminated that day. I knew I couldn't stay -- I'd be puking again with that smell all around. I had to find a place to go. I thought I'll go to a noon movie.

Then I realized, I got to find my car. I think it was near that guy's house. Don't quite remember the street.

Checked out the movie guide. Only movie available at noon was one at Foxchase (wink, wink).

Got in a cab and found my car and went to Foxchase. Returned home to an apartment still smelling of roach spray.

John Kelly: Ugh. I don't think I want to see "apricot nectar" and "roach spray" in the same anecdote ever again.


Silver Spring, Md.: Lancaster is close to the Brandywine Valley, which is wonderful. The various DuPont mansions and gardens, the old powder works, the Wyeth museum...

John Kelly: So there's some history there as well. Is this a tie so far?


Bra with a sunroof: Have you seen a nursing bra? It's pretty darn close.

John Kelly: I've blocked most of those memories. I guess the next time I'll see one is when I have grandkids--not that I'm in any hurry for that, girls!


Winchester, Va.: Just talking about hangovers makes me feel queasy.

John Kelly: Would it help or hurt if I mentioned peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?


Five Chinese Brothers: Yes, that was the title. By Claire Hucket Bishop. Illustrated by Kurt Wiese, who also did "The Story About Ping."

John Kelly: Thank you! Wasn't one Chinese brother able to cure hangovers?


Silver Spring, Md.: Most (maybe all) firemen are also EMTs. Sometimes the fire engine and ambulance are dispatched from different sites and the fire engine can actually get there first.

John Kelly: Thank you. I think that when I had my heart attack only an ambulance came. Of course, I was kind of busy so I may be misremembering. I do know that I rode to the hospital in the back of an ambulance, not on the back of a fire engine.


Baltimore is WAY off: Historic Williamsburg IS authentic historic buildings. They do have the cheesy reenacting, but the buildings ARE the original, INCLUDING the governor's palace.

John Kelly: And how do we know that person is even FROM Baltimore? I bet he secretly works for the Amish Tourist Board, trying to divert people from other travel destinations.


Arlington, Va.: My college hangover cure was cherry soda.

The only Important Life Advice that my father has given me was: don't drink gin. Evidently it was gin that caused his first big hangover, and he never really got over it. However I did not listen to him. Hence the cherry soda.

John Kelly: Here's my advice: Drink responsibly. It only took me about 40 years to figure that out.

Thanks for stopping by. Look for Answer Man on Sunday and a column and blog on Monday. Oh, and here's a request: I'm going to be spending a week in April at Texas A&M University. I'm thinking of doing some columns from there--and will certainly blog from there. Do any of you have any connections with A&M? I'm looking for students from the Washington area who go there, or professors from around here. How can I find a bit of D.C. out in the middle of Tejas? As always, I'm at


John Kelly: One last comment, from a reader:

One of your readers in today's chat mentioned Tylenol as part of a hangover cure. This is very, very dangerous.

Please advise your readers to NEVER mix Tylenol (acetaminophen) and alcohol. This combination can be extremely toxic to one's liver. The result can be liver damage, need of a liver transplant and even death.

I know that the discussion of hangover cures was lighthearted, but this is not a joking matter.

Got that, folks?


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