Celebritology Live: D.C. Ready for Kal Penn? Lindsay Lohan Out of Control? Can We Blame Gwyneth for ScarJo's Slimdown?
Thursday, April 9, 2009; 2:00 PM
Join Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.
Liz Kelly: Good afternoon. We have important business to get to immediately: Lindsay Lohan is obviously out of control. According to Us Weekly she's dyed her hair red and gotten a new tattoo in the aftermath of her SamRo split. What a scoop. Lilo's obviously only a night out away from an umbrella and a British accent. Obviously a situation that bears close watching. (Here's a pic of the new hair, but no sign of the new tat. I'm not sure what's going on with that acid washed jacket, but I'm not liking it. Obviously the sort of thing a crazy person would wear.)
In other news, Kate Moss's rep is denying she's got a kosher cookbook -- or any cookbook -- in the works, Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson seem to be on the outs again and -- according to the LA Times -- "SNL" is apparently too booked to add "Twilight" heartthrob Robert Pattinson to their guest host list this season.
Okay, let's get started...
AtlantaVIANo,VA: So, how about this "Blonde Charity Mafia" show that's about to start? Because we need yet another version of "The Hills" out there... I just don't get it. Thoughts?
Liz Kelly: I'n not convinced that anyone has hit on the right formula for a D.C.-based reality show yet. And, trust me, I know whereof I speak.
My hope is that the Bravo folks are rushing a "Real Housewives of D.C." into production. At least if some of the illustrious folks pictured in the local luxury mags (Washingtonian, Capitol File) were tapped to join in. Suburban McMansion mistresses visiting the Red Door spa, Queen Noor's workout routine... the possibilities are endless.
Did you happen to catch the preview of the "Real Housewives of New Jersey"? SO TACKY AND JUICY!!! This is going to be the best housewife show EVER. There's this one older red-headed lady who totally looks like she's married to a mob boss. I thought of how much fun it would be to throw Vicky (ICK) from Orange County, NeNe, and Ramona in a room with this woman and see who would make it out alive. The Jersey lady looks like she would definitely cut a ...
Liz Kelly: Oh yes -- looks like it's going to be a cross between RH of Atlanta and The Sopranos.
I still think D.C. could give them all a run for the money, though.
Omaha, Neb.: What do you think of this theory? The constant confessional state of celebs like John Mayer is, at least in part, an attempt to head off paparazzi hounding. If you put everything out there yourself, via street corner interviews or on your Twitter account, then you make yourself something less of a story. You are big news for two days instead of two weeks. What do you think? (IMO, even if this is Mayer's motivation, I still think he's a tool.)
Liz Kelly: I think there may be something to that.
We've probably touched on this before, but I think there's a lot a play here.
These celebs are people underneath all that glitz and exclusivity. And, just like us (!!) some are more interested in Twitter than others. So we get different points along the spectrum:
John Mayer -- he Tweets as much as he breathes, kind of like the friend you probably have who tweets every inane thing that comes into his head. Maybe he's trying to circumvent paps, but it seems more like he genuinely likes connecting with his fans and he thinks he's got something to say (even if it is just about what he just ate).
Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson -- They've taken their breakup to Twitter, firing overwrought volleys back and forth. For instance, Lilo wrote ""So -- you win, you broke my heart. now go away. i loved you." Again, I'm not so sure the aim here is to scoop the paparazzi. Rather, the paparazzi isn't enough for Lindsay (and possibly Samantha). They need more attention and Twitter is just another venue.
Hugh Jackman -- apparently a staffer in his U.S. office was actually tweeting for him and he was forced to fess up when that staffer mistakenly called the Sidney Opera House the Sidney Opera Centre. In his case, Twitter is a marketing tool and he's using it to sell his product: Hugh Jackman. Kind of backfired, though.
So, I guess I'm not on board with your theory, although it does make a lot of sense. I wonder if the reality is closer to this model: Twitter merely allows celebs who are prone to exhibitionism to expose themselves in another place.
Best Easter basket treat?: I know The Washington Post has a serious thing going with Peeps, but I gotta say my favorite Easter basket fixin' is a See's Candies peanut butter egg.
Liz Kelly: I'm pretty partial to the Peeps, but they have to be stale.
Oh, and Mike Rowe fans -- the "Dirty Jobs" Facebook fan page is accepting "Dirty Jobs"-themed Peeps art. Think Mike Rowe in a mankini made from Peeps and you'll have some idea of the general gist.
MDReader: When did dying hair red and getting a tat qualify one as "crazy?"
Perhaps she's just trying to look more like you, Liz. Or, maybe she wants to have an affair with Bruce Springsteen (who only dates redheads, it would seem.)
Liz Kelly: Right -- I have to admit I was simultaneously a bit offended and worried about my sanity. If a dye job and a tattoo is the worst damage she does, then Future Lindsay should thank current Lindsay for confining most of her crazy to Twitter (so far).
Telltale signs of emotional torment?: I wanted to dye my hair red, and my son said, "Mom, don't do it. It means you've got issues about something else." Guess that means Lilo?
Liz Kelly: If I had to diagnose it based on this information alone, I'd say you're feeling restless in your relationship with that same-sex DJ, but you're not good at the trauma attendant to change.
Perhaps a pink wig would produce the same calming effect?
Hugh Jackman admits to not writing his own Twitter updates... : Sigh. I used to love Hugh Jackman, but now, I just feel like I don't even know him anymore. I hope the person writing his Twitter updates starts claiming he's doing some really crazy stuff. That would entertain me.
I'm going to have to find a new celebrity boyfriend. My husband and Tina Fey are still going strong. I don't know who to pick. Any suggestions?
Liz Kelly: I'm sure we can come up with some suggestions. You might start by backreading this Friday List we did last fall -- Top 5 Celebrity Crushes.
Carlsbad, Calif.: I think you're onto something with the attention-grabbing. Whether it's twittering, "opening up", having or adopting a bazillion kids ... insecurity seems to be more prevalent among celebs than the rest of the population.
I hope Andy, Opie and Page don't mind the attention from their fan club, though. Got pics?
Liz Kelly: Nope, no pix of the clan today. I've been a bad chronicler of the pet soap opera this week. Mainly because of lack of sleep. New kitty Opie wakes me up every two or three hours throughout the night by digging into my covers. I have tried feeding him, ignoring him, locking him out (he then scratches at the door -- loudly). Nothing works. Any ideas?
And I don't know about them being any more insecure than the rest of the population. I've met plenty of insecure people in my time -- oddly, two of them went on to become actors. Hmm.
Bruce as the other man: It's true that no one has seen them in bed together, and I haven't paid attention to his music in a while, but I'm really upset about this. I LIKED that he ditched Julianne Phillips (glamour puss) for Patty Scialfa (cool band mate) years ago. So depressing. Is nothing sacred?
Liz Kelly: Only Bruce's libido.
Real Housewife of Montgomery County: I had a neighbor who was being recruited for a reality show by a production company. Her entire family would have to participate, including her husband, who had a very prestigious job. He found out and nixed it immediately.
I think there's a LOT of that going on. Note the professions of the husbands or wives in these shows. There's a lot of self-employed folks out there.
Liz Kelly: Good point -- it almost seems that the shows attract people trying to promote themselves as a brand. Bethenny w/her Skinny Girl products, Romona with her skincare line (who knew?), Luann with her ettiquette book, the Van Campens with their parenting book. The Atlanta housewife with the jewelry design biz... good point Moco.
The long-term solution: Liz, can we have a contest to nominate celebs to join Trisha Sutter in opting for permanent birth control measures? First nominee--Octomom.
Liz Kelly: Good point. Maybe the company that's sponsoring Trista's permanent birth control should've hit up the Oct-mom first. Seems like they would have gotten more bang for their buck.
"Bang" was probably a bad choice of words.
Del Ray: I wonder how Obama feels about Kal Penn's scene with the gigantic bag of weed in "Harold and Kumar..." Best dream sequence montage ever...
Liz Kelly: I am so excited about Kal Penn relocating to D.C. I've interviewed him twice (briefly both times) and he was so surprisingly down to earth. Of course, I was totally crushing on him so it was likely he could've repeated "Duh" over and over for five minutes straight and I would've come away thinking about how deep he is.
Jay-Z, Rihanna, Kanye West ink fragrance deal...: Will Rihanna's smell bad-girlish? I mean, is it a fragrance that says "I'm so tough, I've got gun tats, baby!"
Liz Kelly: One really should be careful when reading the end of your sentence there, partner.
Brookland - Washington, D.C.: I want to follow Lindsay on Twitter, but apparently her twitter is "locked." Any insight on how to become part of her "in" crowd?
Liz Kelly: I think she reserves her Twitter feed for close friends -- you know, her family, Perez Hilton, Us Weekly.
Ali Lohan: Dude--is it me or does Ali Lohan look like she's 40?
Liz Kelly: It's not just you. She looks older than Lindsay. What's that all about? Too much fake baking?
washingtonpost.com: Ali Lohan: 40 or 15?
Liz Kelly: She looks like Cher here. And I mean current Cher, not circa 1971 Cher.
Bawlmer: Are you offering odds on LiLo getting a mohawk? Or do you think the fully shaved head is more likely?
Liz Kelly: I think Lilo might like to put her own spin on the hysteria haircut -- maybe lop off big chunks with pruning shears so she looks like she got in a fight with a jaguar.
Harrisburg, Pa..: I just wanted you to know that I am twittering that I am writing this to you.
Liz Kelly: I am going to twitter that I am answering your question about twittering about writing this to me.
Actually, I'll have my ghost Twitterer do it for me. Paul!
Kate Moss's rep is denying she's got a kosher cookbook -- or any cookbook -- in the works: This is striking me as pretty funny. Celebs are usually denying something much more interesting, like a pregnancy, or a breakup, or a wedding, or drug use... but a cookbook? What kind of recipes could she come up with anyway? How much can you do with bottled water, cocaine and cigarettes?
Liz Kelly: Oh no no no! The Kosher diet allows for much more variety than just water, cocaine and ciggies.
Celebrity boyfriends: In no particular order, Clive Owen, Alec Baldwin and George Clooney. Alec's biggest advantage is that he's on TV, so you can see him a lot. The main point is that you know you'd have a blast with all of them. My husband has given me a pass with George. Not so sure about the other two.
Liz Kelly: Okay. I remember all three of these men being popular choices last fall. Along with Daniel Craig.
Breakup: Now maybe we won't have to see those ridiculous "badass," sneering facial expressions Sam's always making for the cameras.
Liz Kelly: Oh, I wouldn't count on that -- at least for a while. For the next month or so we'll be treated to a flurry of "Sam Parties Without Lilo" and "Lindsay Consigned to Clubbing with Mom" pix.
GOOP Glop - ScarJo edition: I know we touched on this last week - Re: the deflation of our beloved Scarlett's curves. UK tab The Sun blames/credits Gwynnie and her guru Tracy Anderson for the said de- curving. Here's my question - if a huge part of the appeal that made her a star is her figure, why do the Iron Man folks want to literally iron her down? Would she look crazy big next to Paltrow's stick figure? Why mess with a good thing?
washingtonpost.com: It's not for the part. Per comic book mandate, the Black Widow isn't exactly slinky: For the sake of comparison.
Clearly, Paltrow must be stopped.
Liz Kelly: Now now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. ScarJo has hardly reached stick figure territory. She's still got curves. She's just adding tone and sometimes that rearranges the curves a bit. I would not complain if I had that figure.
And let's not be too quick to blame Gwyneth. She gets plenty of legitimate flack around here. Tracy Anderson tours with Madonna, too, and has long been a trainer to the stars -- Gwyneth didn't create her in a lab or summon her from Mordor.
And has anyone considered that maybe Scarlett herself wanted to step up her exercise routine?
Peeps Are Murder!: But, but you can't be partial to the peeps! They're marshmallow. With gelatin! Animals died. I'm aghast.
Liz Kelly: I don't eat them anymore. But a girl can remember. Sometimes I let the lovely aromas from the local kabob place wash over me in wave after animal-fat burning smell wave, too. I'm a vegan, but I'm not dead.
Reston, Va.: Hi Liz: No offense intended, but what does it say about me that the highlight of my day is the two hour Liz Kelly fest? I'm miserable in my job (but given the job market, grateful to have one), my relationship is in a shambles - not recoverable. I'm so blue, and it's such a lovely spring day. Sigh. Can you give me some happy news?
washingtonpost.com: See, THIS is how you get your question sent through.
Liz Kelly: Hey, any port in a storm. I'm happy to be your good time gal while life is otherwise not ideal. And, corny as it sounds, sometimes some frivolity and (hopefully) a laugh is enough to keep us going. Never underestimate the power of a jester to keep you sane.
And, for what it's worth, it's the highlight of my day, too. And Producer Paul's.
Billy Bob Thorton: So he was vastly affronted to be introduced as an Oscar-winning actor. Probably a good thing the interviewer didn't bring up the marriage to Angelina and the vials o'blood.
Liz Kelly: I absolutely loved this story. What an ego on that guy.
For anyone who missed it, Billy Bob was apparently offended that he was introduced as a successful actor by a Canadian radio deejay (who himself is a musician of some renown), asking if Tom Petty -- aka an actual rock star -- would be treated the same way.
Get a clue, Mr. Woodcock.
Washington, D.C.: I have a DC-related gossip question! I've read that Johanna Cox is dating Alec Baldwin. Any reason to believe this is true - or is our hometown girl just falling victim to the rumormill?
Liz Kelly: The rumor is definitely going around that Alec is dating Johanna -- who is 20 years his junior.
There were many links I could have chosen to push you to for more details, but
because it is accompanied by a non-captioned photo of Baldwin and his pre-teen daughter Ireland. Talk about misleading.
Nosy Parker: Please add a "get well" shout-out to jazz legend Dave Brubeck, currently recovering from a viral infection. This year is the golden anniversary of Brubeck's landmark "Time Out" album, which still sounds fresh after all this time.
Liz Kelly: Consider it added.
Do Te, LL: Which celebrity couples are close to breaking up? Which have open marriages?
Liz Kelly: Well you don't ask for much, do you?
Portland, Ore.: Liz, My husband told me that my new glasses make me look like I should be writing an entertainment blog. That's good, right?
Liz Kelly: I think I like your husband.
Left Coast, USA: I can't help but feel that someone (not sure exactly who) should step in and help Lindsay Lohan. I wonder what David Crosby is doing -- he certainly helped turn Drew Barrymore's life around and she was a mess at one time too. My kids were watching "The Parent Trap the other night and it was really sad to see that cute little girl (only 10 years ago!) and to know what she has become. I'm afraid there is going to be flame out of epic proportions with that one.
Liz Kelly: Hmmm, well we know that Jack Nicholson wasn't really interested in the gig. Mel Gibson is already taken (he's Britney's elder Hollywood mentor). I wonder if Tommy Lee Jones has an hour free each week.
celebs: What about Christian Bale?! Pictures of him and Daniel Craig would make my day (and it's my birthday. Double appreciated).
Liz Kelly: Happy birthday. I'm sensing the dawning of a new tradition here.
Washington, D.C.: I can't seem to find any information on whether Kal Penn is single! Help!
Liz Kelly: Oh man -- I know this came up once before. Kal does keep his romantic life pretty well under wraps and in a quick scan, I couldn't find any information about any past or present relationships.
But we'll soon be able to observe him up close since he's moving to D.C. to work for the Obama White House.
has already offered up an apartment.
also..: Kal Penn is on Twitter..WIN.
Liz Kelly: One tweet? If that's really him it looks like he needs to wake his ghost twitterer up.
Also -- what's with the background? It looks like a bmp PaintShop Pro drawing of New Jersey. Is he trying to send some kind of secret message? Is the White House moving to New Jersey?
celeb news = heart medicine: Hi Liz! When I was going through my divorce, hearing celebrity news (ESPECIALLY celebrity break-ups) was the best part of my day.
This chat is clearly therapeutic, and should be billable to insurance.
washingtonpost.com: I bill my therapy to Liz.
Liz Kelly: That's all well and good, but I haven't even scanned your insurance cards yet and before we proceed I'll need to collect the copay.
Ellicott City, Md.: I am way off today's subjects, but - do you know if Renee Zelleweger and Dan Abrams are still hanging out. I saw pictures of Kenny Chesney htting on girls after the country music awards.... Thanks.
Liz Kelly: Are you thanking me or Kenny Chesney?
I haven't heard squat about Renee and Dan since February. Obviously they need to get with the Twitter thing.
The Kosher diet allows for much more variety than just water, cocaine and ciggies. : I'm sure it does, but I read a Kate Moss interview years ago in which she claimed she didn't eat and just got by on bottled water and cigarettes. Leading me to believe she will have a difficult time writing a cookbook.
washingtonpost.com: Lucky Strike Casserole?
Liz Kelly: Mmmm. I think I just spit up a little.
asking if Tom Petty -- aka an actual rock star -- would be treated the same way. : So Tom Petty would go ballistic if someone introduced him as "award-winning?"
Billy Bob is reminding me of George Costanza a bit. "Would Ted Danson stand for that?"
Liz Kelly: I guess Billy Bob felt he wasn't being treated with the respect due to a real musician. But the Tom Petty thing isn't much of an equivalency -- maybe if Tom Petty also happened to be an economist and the deejay asked him about his Nobel Prize before getting into what it was like working with Johnny Depp on that video back in the '90s.
Kal Penn: I saw him with a girl at a bar once. No idea if they were together together, though, so I guess that doesn't really answer the question.
Liz Kelly: Thank you.
I'll share my celeb boyfriend...: Simon Baker. He's so dreamy on "The Mentalist"- those vests, that smile!
Liz Kelly: Thanks for sharing.
Thornton protocol: Who knew that the rules for addressing him were as strict as those for approaching Queen Elizabeth? Probably best not to get the two of them together anytime soon.
Liz Kelly: Just don't look him in the eye. He may attack.
Kal Penn: I don't think Kal Penn is the type of person who would be aware of the number of people who have crushes on him. Judging from the people I've talked to this week, it's pretty much everyone. He's going to have more attention on him in DC than he ever did as part of Hollywood.
Liz Kelly: I know. I feel kinda sorta bad for him. He has no idea how hard it's going to be for him here -- well, if he hopes to have any kind of life outside the White House, that is. We tend to be a bit giddy around celebs in these parts.
Lindsey: Maybe I need an umbrella but I kind of feel sorry for her. It seemed that Lindsey and Sam really liked each other. And Sam seems like a more solid human being than all Lohan's family put together. I think she'd be better off returning to that Cirque rehab place (Cirque de Sober) then heck she'd be better off in St. Lucia with Winehouse. Why did they break up? I think this isn't going to end well.
Oh and I need to get out more.
Liz Kelly: I believe Ronson's family has intimated that Lindsay was abusing substances, lying and manipulating poor helpless Samantha.
Mayb they are a good couple, but I think you're right about her needing to go back to Cirque Lodge, or somewhere else where she can concentrate on getting herself together.
Kal Penn in DC : Which neighborhood do we think he'll choose? Put his Hollywod cash into a Georgetown pad? Go artsy in Adams Morgan? Live on the Hill?
Liz Kelly: Penn Quarter? U Street? Or will he get all foxy and opt for a condo in Arlington?
Kal Penn on twitter: He had a bunch of tweets before..he wiped his whole page though after the WH announcement and started over.
Liz Kelly: Ahhh, good to know. Thank you!
I don't want to share my celebrity boyfriend...: Zachary Levi aka "Chuck." Geeky and cute.
Liz Kelly: Good one. I met Zach Levi last July at Comic-Con. We talked Lost -- along with Jen Chaney -- for about 20 minutes. He is not only easy on the eyes, but funny. Deadly combo.
Tracy Anderson tours with Madonna, too,: Okay, but I saw a pic of her on this very website recently when she was in Malawi and she looks like a 13-year-old girl. Her bod is sick, and I don't mean in a good way.
washingtonpost.com: Yeah. Crediting a trainer with Madonna is like recommending a psychiatrist for the great work done on Tracy Morgan.
Liz Kelly: Listen, Tracy Morgan is just fine the way he is, thank you very much.
Levi: Oh my liz, I love this train wreck (and not just because I'm a big anti-Palinite). Levi's sister has his name tattooed on her wrist. ICK! Not only are they ridiculous, if Palin spends any more time on this, her career is done. If she wasn't the governor, this would be on Springer.
Liz Kelly: Just think how close we came to that circus sideshow living in the Vice President's house.
Gwyneth and Ebay: Sometimes I think Gwyneth Paltrow exists just to make the rest of the women in the world jealous. She is auctioning off some of her castoff clothes and accessories on eBay and the stuff she is getting rid of is better than anything I own! Of course, the proceeds go to charity, so she wins there too. I do think I would choose her to trade places with for a while.
Liz Kelly: I want the Chloe bag and my birthday is coming up in July. Ahem.
I guess Billy Bob felt he wasn't being treated with the respect due to a real musician.: Okay, I see his point now. It's like the time I was talking to someone about my art at a gallery opening and they introduced me to someone else and mentioned that I'm a librarian and I went psycho and started throwing chairs at people because I'm an artist when I'm showing my art in a gallery, and I demand to be called artist at those times, and everyone should pretend that it's ALL I am. Was it like that, Billy Bob?
Liz Kelly: Exactly.
Zach Levi: You met him? Really? I'm so jealous. Hey, is he tall? I know, I know they're all shorter than you'd think but he really does look tall. And I think he's been working out. For real.
Liz Kelly: He is tall, but not redwood tall. Maybe 5'10" or 5'11".
Help for LiLo: I'd pay to see Gary Busey step in...
Liz Kelly: Oooh, he could make a purse out of her endocrine system!
Lucky Strike Casserole: On the plus side, it's Vegan!
Liz Kelly: There's always a silver lining.
(Actually, you could use the silver cigarette pack liner to line your casserole dish. No sticking!)
Celebrity "Free Pass" Boyfreinds: My fiancee's "Free Pass Celeb Boyfreind" is Vin Diesel...should I be concerned about that on any level?
Liz Kelly: Hmmm. I guess that depends on how close you are on the type continuum to Vin Diesel.
Kal Penn: He's going to have to make friends here, right? I mean, he's a young guy, seems fun, and it's not like he has celebrity friends to hang out with. Any one of us could be his new BFF!
Liz Kelly: I suppose that's true, but I have a feeling he's going to be relatively busy. From what I could tell when we met both times, he's a pretty driven guy. He'll have his work to keep him warm.
Now I'm kind of feeling sorry: for Madonna. I think she got the shaft when she was denied this last adoption. She could have really made that kid's life and I'm sure that adorable little girl could have added some happiness to the Madonna-brood too. I hope we haven't heard the last of this one.
Liz Kelly: I agree and wrote as much on Monday. Though apparently everyone (besides you and me) is sick of hearing about this story.
Newark, Del.: As a purveyor of celebrity culture, have you read/going to read Dr. Drew's book on celebrity and narcissism?
Liz Kelly: It's on my reading list. Right after I get through the Cleopatra biography I'm reading now.
She is, after all, one of the world's first and most enduring celebs.
Hugh Jackman - star from another era: Ever get the impression HJ was made to be a star in the '50s - he sings! He dances! He swashbuckles! Poor guy tows the studio line agreeing to have someone tweet in his name, and people act like it's the Watergate scandal. I think he just wants to entertain, and will do what the suits tell him to do.
Liz Kelly: I sometimes wonder if he shares other qualities with the manly stars of yesteryear.
He is quite an entertainer, though, I agree.
Kal Penn: I don't want to be a buzz kill. But his job is being a liaison. Which means he will be traveling to liaise a lot. Sad face.
Liz Kelly: Well, there's always the Dulles mid-field terminal.
Reston, you're not alone: The Liz Kelly chat sessions are a beacon of snark, cheer and folk wisdom for the downcast here in flyover land, too. We thank the gods of the Internets that we can partake of the good vibes winging our way from the Kelly computer. We even love the chat when there are no pictures of Andy, Page, and Opie.
Liz Kelly: Aww shucks.
And, sadly, we've reached the end of hour one for this week. Time to move over and join Jen in the "Lost" chat. See you here next week and in the blog tomorrow.
washingtonpost.com: Please join Liz and Jen for the 'Lost' Hour.
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