Dana Milbank: Odd Oval Office Pairings, Mustard Controversy, More

Post columnist Dana Milbank serves as the capital's foremost critic of political theater in his Washington Sketch columns, videos and blog posts.

He was online Friday, May 8 at noon ET.

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Dana Milbank: Good afternoon sketchreaders.

We're having a slight delay this morning because of a technical issue. Something about a bad code causing the auditorium to lock up. It's a series of tube. So if you have sent in a question, please resend it.

Your assignment for today: now that Al Sharpton and Newt Gingrich have shared a loveseat in the Oval Office, what other unions can we expect to see in the coming weeks?

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New York, New York: Just think, if Obama had included Rush Limbaugh and Al Gore in the meeting, there would have been no air left in the room, except for the `hot" variety. Maybe it's a scheme to accentuate the svelteness of The One?

Dana Milbank: A good thought. I suspect it was some White House version of "The Biggest Loser." The rev was looking really trim -- unless that vest he was wearing was some sort of corset. Newt needs a bit more time in the gym. Although your sketchwriter is not in a good position to advise people on their fitness regimens, I have joined a new gym and have been going for a couple of weeks. I look almost as good as Tim Currant now.

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See if I have this straight: Rush Limbaugh says there is no possible explanation for Colin Powell supporting Obama other than race. So, obviously, Powell did not support Obama's views. But Limbaugh also said Powell is essentially a Democrat and should go ahead and make it offical. So Powell supported Democratic views and did not endorse Obama just because of race. Limbaugh proudly says he's the ONLY one with the guts to say Powell's motivation was just race. Why am I confused? And is Lambuagh really macho (sort of a cross between Chuck Norris and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?).

Dana Milbank: I think Chuck Norris and the Pillsbury Dough Boy in the Oval Office would be an inspired combo.

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Strange oval fellows: Valerie Plame and Dick Cheney or, better yet, Scooter Libby....

Dana Milbank: Good, although I feel as if I've heard more from Dick Cheney in the last few weeks than in the previous eight years. The pharmacy has definitely filled his Lipitor prescription with Viagra.

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Madisonville, Tenn.: My mind is still WAAAAYYYYY boggled by the visual of Rev. Sharpton and former Speaker Gingrich on a loveseat--but how about John Boehner and Speaker Pelosi? Or Meghann McCain and Rush Limbaugh--conservative polar opposites?

Or if we really dream big--gulp--Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly?

(Okay, yeah, I'm gettin' silly now.)

Dana Milbank: Not as silly as you may think. Colin Ferguson did point out at a previous White House Correspondents Association Dinner that Olbermann and O'Reilly may have a crush on each other.

This year's White House Correspondents Association dinner, by the way, is tomorrow night. I'll be bowling in Bethesda.

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DC Police: Here to serve you a restraining order filed by Tim Currant. You are not allowed within 100 feet of Tim and you can't mention him on a chat for the next 12 months...

Dana Milbank: I am in the office today and can see his sexy, shiny dome over the cubicle dividers about 50 feet from me. He's wearing lavender, ladies!

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Pillsbury Dough Boy in the Oval Office?: We already had a Pillsbury Dough Boy as President. Don't you remember how Bill Clinton looked in those tiny jogging shorts? Ewww! If ever there were an argument in favor of spray-tans...

Dana Milbank: That is very rude because it is lunchtime and you have made me think of that photo of Bill and Hillary dancing on the beach in their bathing suits.

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Al and Newt join forces: it's a sign of the end times!: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes... Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave! Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

washingtonpost.com: YouTube: Ghostbusters "Cats and Dogs" speech in Mayor's Office

Dana Milbank: Sounds like just another day in the Washington Post newsroom. . . .

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Your beef against private meetings.: Yes or no, can I come to your next Skull & Bones meeting?

Dana Milbank: Well, even though I've been working out these past couple of weeks, I wouldn't say I'm all skin and bones just yet. But, yes, you can come to the gym with me. As long as you don't grunt. There are two grunters in my gym and it ruins the mood for the rest of us.

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Falls Church, Va.: Can you please tell The Fix that I sent him links via Twitter for the tee shirt he desires.

Also - re: loveseat - how about Arlen Specter and Norm Coleman?

Dana Milbank: Speaking of the Fix, our much-anticipated (by us) video launch has again been delayed a couple of weeks. Technical difficulties. It's a series of tubes!

I would rather see Norm Coleman and Al Franken do one of those shirtless Solid Gold performances together:

YouTube: SOLID GOLD - Al Franken & Tom Davis!

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Los Angeles: What's your take on Specter being cut down to size after his reduction to junior Democrat on four Senate committees? Being a 29 year veteran of the Senate, he should've known the trek to the other side of the aisle would include some unpleasantness. Any indication he will "come to heel" or What's your take on will he do something else dramatic?

Dana Milbank: Your Sketchwriter can't wait for the next Judiciary hearing so I can watch him down at the end of the row of Democrats, after Sheldon Whitehouse. This Reid-Specter standoff has the potential to develop into a political Iran-Iraq war, and I've applied to be an embedded journalist.

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Capitol Hill: Just wanted to give you a heads up on Dijongate 2.0. Michelle Obama is at the Good Stuff eatery-hamburger place on Capital Hill. Any chance you can find out how she got her burger?

Dana Milbank: I love Good Stuff!

Little risk of her getting into Dijon-doo-doo like her hubby. This is good All American fare:

SPIKE'S 5 NAPKIN

Dairy Fresh Cheese, Applewood Bacon, A Farm Fresh Fried Egg, On A Brioche Bun With Good Stuff Sauce.

(Although Brioche sounds a bit French.)

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New York, New York: Did Sharpton et al (sorry) get lunch? And did they request moutarde Dijonnaise?

Dana Milbank: Dijon mustard and organic arugula are served with all White House meals, but no food was offered at this particular event, likely out of fear that the loveseat would have collapsed.

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Anonymous: For some reason all I can think of Senator Barbara Mikulski and Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, sort of a political DC remake of the movie Twins.

Is that very wrong?

Dana Milbank: There are no wrong answers, Anonymous.

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I love Dana M. Fan Club, DC: "That is very rude because it is lunchtime and you have made me think of that photo of Bill and Hillary dancing on the beach in their bathing suits."

There's your new diet regimen!

Dana Milbank: I think you have just saved me 10 lbs. You are hereby invited to join Skin & Bones.

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Rochester, NY: A slightly serious question: is the right-wing screaming about Dijongate perhaps more about a generational change than anything else? Non-yellow mustard is commonly eaten by nearly everyone under 50 but perhaps not so much by aging Red Staters?

Dana Milbank: Possibly they should now be called yellow staters.

Certainly it would be worse if he had requested honey mustard. Then he'd be a sissy.

This brings to mind John Kerry going to a Philly cheese steak shop in '04 and, instead of getting wiz, asking for provolone. A bad move, to be sure, but better than requesting camembert.

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Yummo: Really, what's with Geithner's sexy wide ties and touseled hair? It's a throwback to the Tony Blair of old. Is this to distract us from the Sturm und Drang coming out of his mouth?

Dana Milbank: Now, I did say that there are no wrong answers, but calling Tim Geithner sexy does strike me as fundamentally off. Janet Napolitano, on the other hand. . .

Also Geithner's hair is mussed because he has been pulling it out.

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Odd political couples: Larry Craig and Marion Barry?

Dana Milbank: See, I think if Obama did one of these each day in the Oval, the country would enjoy it so much that nobody would really care what's going on with the economy, Afghanistan or swine flu.

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Boston, MA: Hi Dana,

What do you think of the chances for a Ann Coulter/Perez Hilton marriage or at least a steamy affair?

Dana Milbank: Put 'em in the Oval!

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Dunnellon, Fla.: George Will and Gap Man Donald Fisher.

Dana Milbank: I expect a call from Rahm Emanuel at any moment thanking me for this brilliant idea of weekly Oval Office odd couples. Or maybe daily.

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Dunnellon, Fla,: James Madison and John Yoo. The Odd Couple.

Dana Milbank: Difficult, but they could use one of the costumes the racing presidents have at the Nats games.

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Falls Church, Va.: Really? There is blow back about the spicy mustard? You know if he had asked for A1 or Tabasco sauce we'd be having a completely different conversation.

Dana Milbank: And if he had requested Bernaise or a Port reduction, impeachment proceedings would already be underway.

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That was no loveseat: that was a full sized couch. Just a matter of perspective caused by the size of the occupants.

Dana Milbank: Any piece of furniture holding Sharpton and Gingrich immediately becomes a loveseat.

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Sharpton and Gingrich: Now that they've shared the love seat, does the district have to recognize their union?

And more importantly, do you think Maine residents are behind the "law" enough to avoid overturning it in November?

Do you think RI will be joining its New England cousins or remain the last conservative hold-out?

Dana Milbank: I would love for the Sharpton-Gingrich civil union to become the legal test case. I'm already anticipating Jeff Sessions' questioning of the couple when they appear before the Senate Judiciary Committee.

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White House duo: Miss California and Barney Frank?

Dana Milbank: See? this could change White House coverage forever.

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SW Nebraska: Political odd couple - Michelle Bachman and any sane person

Dana Milbank: Or just Michelle Bachman alone would be fine.

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Lavender: the scent or the color?

Dana Milbank: This is one of many Tim Curran questions that I have received. Out of respect for Tim's privacy I have not answered most of them. His shirt is lavender. I am not certain of his scent because of the restraining order keeping me at a distance. But I think I'll go sneak a whiff now and report back to you next week.

Thanks for chatting.

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