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Celebritology Live
You've Been Served... a Heaping Plate of Gossip

Liz Kelly
washingtonpost.com Celebritology Blogger
Thursday, May 7, 2009 2:00 PM

Join Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

Celebritology Live Archive

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Liz Kelly: Afternoon and welcome to today's really big show.

Lot's to talk about including the unfortunate (alleged) Jon Gosselin affair, Paula Abdul's sudden admission of a painkiller addiction and Lindsay Lohan... just because. Oh, and looking ahead to Saturday night's White House Correspondents Dinner. Though after the star-studded inauguration we went through only a few months back, the WHCA Dinner doesn't seem like as big of a deal this year. We'll see -- I did hear a rumor that Tom Cruise may show up and, much to Jen Chaney's delight, Jason Bateman will be in attendance. Here's a list of all the star power expected to be on hand -- so far.

Let's get started...

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Possum Island: Dear Liz, I've been thinking lately about the whole celeb/famous person privacy/publicity balance. Specifically Elizabeth Edwards's book and Sara Jessica/Matthew B.'s surrogate thing. I mean, obviously these are public figures, and anything that happens to them is news. Mrs. Edwards's husband confessed to his affair publicly. Does it then follow that Mrs. Edwards writes a book about it? And I'm happy for SJ/MB, but now of course everyone wants to know who the surrogate is, and her family is under the microscope.

After having "exposed" themselves, will they all eventually say, "I'm a victim of the media/paparazzi?" What do you think? Thanks.

Liz Kelly: This is a well-thought out query. I'll do my best to make some sense here.

This goes back to the whole privacy line debate we had here last week and have talked about several times over the years. There is definitely a line and, yes, certain sectors of the press can be a bit overzealous in their pursuit of private details about the lives of public figures. It sucks, but it comes with the territory.

Which is why I am still somewhat amazed by people who enter into public life -- be it a politician or an actor -- and then proceed to leave themselves wide open to the vipers who are always waiting in the wings hoping for a hot scoop. At this point one has to know it comes with the territory. It may not be right, but there it is. And as absurd as some of this stuff is -- Star Magazine, ahem -- it is part of the price of having a free press and that's not something I'm willing to trade in.

I think the Elizabeth Edwards book is a different issue. We're still in the privacy realm, but I'm tempted to say that the issue with Edwards is more about profiting from pain -- her own, her husbands, her childrens' and that of the supposed Edwards love child.

Maureen Dowd said it better:

But it's just a gratuitous peek into their lives, and one that exposes her kids, by peddling more dregs about their personal family life in a book, and exposes the ex-girlfriend who's now trying to raise the baby girl, a dead ringer for John Edwards, in South Orange, N.J.

I have a lot of respect for Elizabeth Edwards and think she could have written a compelling worthwhile book without inflicting more pain.

Is it a violation of privacy? Yes. But I suppose if anyone is entitled to violate it, then it is Elizabeth herself.

Liz Kelly: RE: SJP's surrogate, apparently she's been unmasked as something of a wild child.

And here's a link to the Maureen Dowd column referenced above.

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Throw your sister under the bus for Us Weekly: Who knows if Jon Gosselin is cheating or not - but that guy who who claims his sister is the mistress is as bad as the loser who ratted out Michael Phelps with the pot pics. Something tells me it is going to be a very unhappy Thanksgiving at the bro and sis house this year.

Liz Kelly: That family kind of loses either way, eh?

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The ballad of Kiefer Sutherland: Clearly KS has issues. The intriguing/confusing aspect to the story is the weirdness coming out of Brooke Shields' camp - her reps say they don't know why Kiefer headbutted the designer, but they also claim ignorance on whether she was pushed or whatever. (If they are authorized to speak for her, you would think they would get the full story first.)

washingtonpost.com: EW: Brooke Shields' rep contradicts Kiefer Sutherland

Liz Kelly: Three years ago Tom Cruise almost lost his career trying to save Brooke Shields from antidepressants. Now Kiefer Sutherland is charged with assault for defending her honor and may end up back in jail.

A coincidence or is Brooke Shields the unlucky tiki of the celebrity set?

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Andrew Morton's Angelina book: Rarely do I believe anything Star magazine says, but surely if their story is accurate Morton should have a monster libel case on his hands.

The first line of the cover story from this week's issue reads, "Angelina Jolie is a jealous, cunning liar who cheated on Brad with a famous rock star, schemed to lure him away from Jennifer Aniston -- and even slept with her own mother's boyfriend!"

Liz Kelly: Hot diggity! That sounds like good summer beach reading.

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Jon Gossel, IN: I've watched the show some. Their kids have the same age spread as mine and on a smaller level, I can relate to their trials and tribulations.

So last week, I stumbled into the land of Kate Hate. It's a rough and tumble land, current capital, Detroit. But this week, the details are coming out about Jon.

Wow. Who in their right mind would sign up for a reality show when their personal life is falling apart?

Oh, I'm sorry, I believe Bobby Brown, Hulk Hogan, and several "Real Housewives" have already answered that question.

If I were Kate, I would say, "Go have your affair...only you have to have it with Nadya Suleman."

Liz Kelly: Again, this goes back to the question of private details about public lives.

And while I don't have any emotional investment in either Jon or Kate (tho the eight are pretty irresistible), I'm sorry to see their dirty laundry being aired so publicly.

Two things to remember:

Specific to this case: We don't know that Jon actually had an affair, although it probably wasn't the best idea for him to go clubbing with some woman who is not his wife.

In general: Humans are fallible. Even humans who score TV contracts or recording deals or walk red carpets and make millions of dollars a year.

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Funny-ish story: I'm on the elevator and two middle-aged men get on. One guy keeps saying, "I think it was Renee Zellweger" and other is like, "Really, was it like 10 minutes?" At this point, I'm like, what are these people talking about in the elevator? Then they go quiet and when they are about to get off the elevator, one guy says, "I think it was Kirsten Dunst." The other says, "No, I'm pretty sure it was Renee Zellweger."

"Wasn't it for like 5 minutes or a couple of hours?" "Nah, I think we're talking months here..."

I finally realized they were talking about a quickie marriage. Definitely Renee, not Kirsten, yes?

People are so funny.

Liz Kelly: Oh, definitely Renee.

Has anyone out there seen "Apaloosa?" A perfectly good Western utterly ruined by Renee Zellweger. Even Kirsten Dunst would have been an improvement.

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ishkabible: The Daily Beast, a mostly intellectual online news source, had a 3-page article about Heincer. I was devastated. It was like discovering the ants you thought were ONLY in your kitchen are now in the upstairs bed room.

I thought about forwarding it to you Liz, for gems like, "The paparazzi are like family members to us" and "You're gonna have to pry Speidi's fame from our dead hands." But THEN I read: "a post about me gets like 2,000 of the most evil comments. But I'm motivated by those reactions....They keep me going. It's juice. It's power. Persecute me, please."

Well played, you little prat.

I put the matter before Liz, Producer Paul, and the collective wisdom of the Celebritology community. Would it be better to engage in the snarkfest Heincer so RICHLY deserves, or pretend we didn't notice them?

The article in question: The Speidi Chronicles

Liz Kelly: It's a lose-lose situation. Actually, maybe even lose-lose-lose.

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Kiefer, continued: What I find interesting about this whole kerfuffle is that Brooke Shields has to be substantially taller than Kiefer. I know he's Jack Bauer and all but how exactly does she need defending from a designer?

Liz Kelly: Well, tall doesn't necessarily mean strong. But I would guess the difference is actually that Brooke Shields has some self control.

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WHCA Dinner : Jon Hamm and John Cusack?! Dear gawd...I need a ticket...

Liz Kelly: Yes -- and although I'm not getting fully decked out (I'll be working, after all) my get-up is totally "Mad Men"-esque. I'm sure that'll make all the difference.

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College Radio: I teach at the school that hosts a radio station I've been listening to since I moved to the area. I have a total girl-crush on the station manager, the way the Fug-girls have a crush on Kelly Clarkson ("hey let's go have hot wings and drink beer and talk about boys!") But beyond our mutual employer, I have NO reason to start up a conversation or even run into her. (I teach night classes and don't really see other faculty or even go to department meetings.)

So aside from walking into the station and saying "hey! You don't know me, but you seem like you kick ass. Wanna have lunch?" what is the least creepiest way I can meet this person? (I know this is sort of a Haxian question, but it's about a LOCAL celebrity, so I'm hoping you'll take it.)

Liz Kelly: I'm going to open this up for suggestions... me, I'm not convinced there's a way to do this that won't seem weird. Anything I can think of just seems way too forced.

I do feel your pain, though. I have totally been there. And I still think Russell Crowe and I would get along really well.

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Jason Bateman: Compared to his sister Justine, who started out on the very successful Family Ties series, Jason (who I first remember seeing in "Teen Wolf, Too") seems to have trod a much happier career path, playing nicely etched roles in movies like "Juno" and "State of Play." Is he leading man material? I don't know -- not sure he takes himself that seriously.

Liz Kelly: I think he's leading man material and I don't think he has to take himself seriously to move into that territory. And although "Arrested Development" was an ensemble show, it could be argued that Jason led that ensemble.

I first remember him, btw, from "Family Ties," on which he showed up from time to time as a friend of Ricky's. Along with Alfonso Ribiero (whose name I am probably butchering).

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Brad and Jen Meet-Up?: What do you make of this tale? Who has a movie coming out momentarily? (other than "Ben Button" on DVD)

Liz Kelly: If memory serves, that particular "story" originated in Star Magazine, which -- as far as I can tell -- is written using Mad Libs books and a rotating list of celebrity names.

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Dork, Us: Okay, so I come out of two month Celebritology exile to find that Lilo and Jon Mayer are single again, as well as Farrah Fawcett having anal cancer, and Dom Delouise died. What other major events have I missed? Can I get a pic of Scarlet Johansson?

washingtonpost.com: Welcome back.

(Reuters)

Liz, I think I'm getting Scarletted out. We might need to retire her and solicit replacement ideas.

Liz Kelly: I never thought I'd see the day when Paul tired of ScarJo. I'm curious as to who is on his kitchen list now. Bai Ling? Megan Fox?

What did you miss? Hmm -- I'm assuming you know about Mel Gibson's divorce and young Russian girlfriend.

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Bawlmer, Hon: Thanks for the WHCD guest list! Do you know how one obtains tickets to the dinner? Was there any infighting this year over who got tickets and who didn't? And how is Ashton Kutcher going under CNN's name? Strange.

Liz Kelly: News organizations buy tables and distribute the tickets as they see fit -- to people within the org and guests, who tend to be celebs and politicians. I won't actually be heading into the dinner, but instead covering the much more interesting pre-parties that basically take over every inch of the Hilton on Saturday eve.

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More Keifer and Brooke: If the designer Keifer assaulted was responsible for the "hat" Brooke Sheilds wore to the Kentucky Derby, then he deserved a headbutt.

washingtonpost.com: No joke. She looks like something from "Super Mario Brothers."

Liz Kelly: That whole outfit is just wrong. Though I rarely see a star who can carry off a hat well. Some recent examples of stars who can: Drew Barrymore, Aretha Franklin. Usually, though, they just look like kids playing dress up.

Why is that? Women used to look stunning in hats.

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Kal Penn: What are the chances of getting Kal to do a WashPost chat? He clearly has a huge fan base amongst the chatters, he could use it as a platform to discuss whatever the White House wants him to discuss, and a producer would be able to screen out all of the phone numbers and virtual panties.

washingtonpost.com: This would depend on my competence and professionalism. So, slim.

Liz Kelly: Paul is fishing for compliments. He knows he is a rock star.

As for Kal, I'm guessing it wouldn't be out of the question to get him online. But, remember, the White House Web site does their own version of online chats so they may want him chatting exclusively on the administration's site.

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Quatch: Liz, Who is the MC for the White House Correspondents Dinner? I didn't see Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Lewis Black or any other Comedy Central people in the guest list. Did I overlook them?

Liz Kelly: It's Wanda Sykes -- hometown girl made good. She used to work for the NSA, though I'm not sure what her job entailed.

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15th and L: Were you there when Stephen Colbert spoke at the White House Correspondents dinner a couple years ago? I have loved him ever since. Best line of the night, "Now, I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32 percent approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality'. And reality has a well-known liberal bias."

washingtonpost.com: Interesting address, 15th and L.

Colbert Roasts President Bush - 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner

Liz Kelly: That was the one I missed, sadly. Though I watched on C-SPAN -- which is, arguably, a better experience anyhow.

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Jason Bateman: "Family Ties" -- of course, you meant "Silver Spoons."

Justine actually quit acting for a long time, and only recently came back to it. She had a role on "Desperate Housewives" a couple of seasons ago, and did something else recently that is escaping me at the moment...

Liz Kelly: Yes, I meant "Silver Spoons." My mind is much from staying up until the wee hours writing "Lost" analysis. Non-fans will be pleased to learn that next week is the last episode until January 2010.

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Washington, DC: Come on Liz! We all know know that you had a front row seat for the biggest celebrity scoop of the week. So, spill it. How was the reunion between Page and Sally? Pictures! We want pictures.

Liz Kelly: There was a pic in the article. Honestly, we didn't get many. It was raining and we were trying to wrangle two dogs and cameras at the same time.

Page isn't usually too friendly with other dogs, but she was okay with Sally. I think Sally was just calm enough to not set Page on edge.

Sally, btw, is a total sweetheart.

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College Radio:: Friend her on Facebook. Add a message about how you work there too and love her show. Over time, become friendly online. Eventually you can ask her "out." It's like online dating, only weirder. wink.

Liz Kelly: That's a thought... Facebook does seem to breed an odd kind of intimacy.

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Jason Bateman and Alfonso Ribeiro: You meant, "Silver Spoons," right? Now I've got that theme song in my head for the rest of the afternoon!

washingtonpost.com: I'll trade you for the "Family Ties" theme.

Liz Kelly: Last night Jen Chaney and I both had the "Macgruber" theme stuck in our heads. It was painful.

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Washington, DC: I am obsessed with Twilight and Robert Pattinson. Alas, I am no teenager -- in my forties, married with kids. Can you help me?

Liz Kelly: Does it help to know you are not alone and that there are legions of 30-something and 40-something women crushing on Pattinson?

Speaking of which, Weingarten claims my mini-crush on Michael Cera is wholly age inappropriate.

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Liz Kelly: And just so we don't give the cats short shrift, here's a short video of Andy. The sound is bad and the camera work shaky, but that hasn't stopped me from watching it three or four times already.

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Washington, D.C.: Can I please have a picture of Andy. The guy I've been dating just told me his feelings for me faded while I am totally in to him. Yes, I am very aware of how pathetic this request is, but my cat lives 2,500 miles away with my mom. And, I can't even claim that I'm in college. She just choose her when I moved years ago. Oh, God. I'm that girl. Andy! Please! Stat!

Liz Kelly: Oh no -- I'm glad I posted that video. You need it. And I know I'm biased, but Andy's better than your loser ex anyway.

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Prince Harry: I read that he is going to have an official USA visit this summer. Any chance he is coming to the DC area?

Liz Kelly: I can't imagine he'd come all the way across the pond without a visit to the White House, but I haven't seen any details yet.

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Kal Penn: Did you see the press release about the "Harold and Kumar" Christmas movie that will come out in 2010? I need details as to how that is working.

In other news, my life has been a little better now that Kal Penn has started tweeting more.

Liz Kelly: I actually talked about that with Kal and John Cho when I interviewed them at ComicCon last July. Apparently the company that owns the "Harold and Kumar" franchise announced plans for a new movie last summer, but hadn't yet bothered to secure either Kal or John for the film.

And, according to IMDB, the project still doesn't have any talent attached.

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Andy, Feline Valentino?: If I were a girl cat, I would be totally crushing on Andy. That come-hither look and mysterious smile; the guy wouldn't even need to show up with a nosegay of catnip...

Liz Kelly: I know. It's ridiculous. And that white patch of hair on his chest/neck totally looks like he's wearing a dress shirt or a dickie. He's just naturally debonair.

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Possum Island: Re: College Radio,

Have you actually seen this person? Because I once had a blind date with a DJ that I had only heard on radio/talked to on the phone, and man was I disappointed (actually frightened is more like it!)

Liz Kelly: Wasn't that a movie?

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Jason Bateman: Not Family Ties, Silver Spoons. And I had a crush on him more than Rick(y) Schroeder. Plus, he was on "Little House on the Prairie" and had a short-lived but brilliant sitcom called "It's Your Move." I'm no longer a stalker.

Liz Kelly: Just to make sure -- I did clarify that I meant "Silver Spoons," yes?

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Page and Sally!: I had a similar experience with my family's dog, Jeter. I volunteer with a rescue in the are, and my parents brought him to visit, socialize and get microchipped. While we were there, another couple walks up with their dog. Zeno was the spitting image of Jeter, just lankier and 15lbs lighter.

In more celebritological news, any good locales for celeb-watching this weekend?

washingtonpost.com: When you play ball with Jeter, does he have to play extra deep because he's lost a step and can no longer make routine plays?

Liz Kelly: A sports joke. In my chat. I'm going to cry.

As for celeb watching, the Hilton is the prime spot. Usually there is a roped off fan area set up along the red carpet. But judging from years past, it is loaded with teenaged girls. So, be warned.

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Weingarten claims my mini-crush on Michael Cera is wholly age inappropriate. : He's 26! You're fine!

Liz Kelly: Ehrm, no. He's 20.

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No man, No Cat, D.C.: Thank you. That was enough. I can finish my work today.

Liz Kelly: Well, at least wait until 2 p.m. to get started.

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Bernie Madoff: The Movie: I'm thinking an old-time SNL reunion feature. Jon Lovitz as Madoff, Jane Curtin as the wife, and Nora Dunn as the newly surfaced tell-all assistant. (Lovitz already played the villain in the sendup of "It's A Wonderful Life," so he has the role down pat.)

washingtonpost.com: Wow, I had forgotten this was the episode Shatner hosted!

Liz Kelly: I love that clip -- we showed that one last December in Weingarten's chat, too. It never gets old.

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Houston: Thanks for letting us bend your ear -as an alum of a Kentucky university, I have to set the record straight on the Brooke Shields hat thing - the traditional thing for high society women to do at the Kentucky Derby is to wear an ornate, over the top, hat. And the Derby is about nothing, if not tradition. Sort of like at some churches, ladies wear really elaborate headgear. So, as for the hat, Brooke was just doing in Rome what the Romans do.

Liz Kelly: But "ornate, over the top" does not necessarily have to mean "ugly," does it?

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Query: Can we qualify any future Lindsay Lohan work as "having no talent attached"?

Liz Kelly: Hells yes.

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Justine actually quit acting for a long time: She was battling anorexia.

Liz Kelly: That must have been after "Satisfaction," in which she played the leader of an all girl beach band who was romancing a music producer played by Liam Neeson.

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Brooke Shields: And Andre Agassi didn't start winning again until after they split!

Liz Kelly: The plot thickens.

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Bai Ling? Megan Fox? : No and No. I vote for Rachel Bilson. Mena from "That 70s Show."

washingtonpost.com: I think you mean Mila Kunis from "That '70s Show"? Or do you mean Mila in addition to Rachel? I'm confused.

I'm leaning toward Robin Scherbatsky.

Liz Kelly: Interesting.

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legions of 30-something and 40-something women crushing on Pattinson? : You think that's bad? I know a married mother in her 50s who belongs to an online fan club for adult fans of Hanson. Owe the humanity!

washingtonpost.com: I don't know if that's at typo or pun.

Liz Kelly: It's a pun, Paul. A longtime entry in the Official Celebritology Glossary.

Can I just say that I came into the building today to work because I have a few meetings. I went to the trouble of reserving a conference room so I could have my accustomed solitude while chatting. Too bad there's some kind of morale building sales meeting in the next conference room over. I think there may be role-playing and team building happening. It sounds like Grand Central Station.

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re: Pattinson: I, too, am struggling with an age inappropriate crush on Pattinson. Read some of the interviews he's done where he admits his total paranoia about being overwhelmed by fans or getting stabbed by someone in a crowd. GQ's interview was great. He seems to be someone who truly regrets becoming famous. Admittedly, I still have a crush on him, but now I feel BAD about it.

(And you are right on about Cera. Tell Gene to shut his mouth.)

washingtonpost.com: GQ: HE'S HOT, HE'S SEXY, HE'S UNDEAD

Liz Kelly: Thank you and thank you.

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Olney, MD: FYI: Justine Bateman was last seen in several episodes of "Men in Trees" at the end of its first season which became the shows second season because of the writers strike. ABC canceled the series last season.

Liz Kelly: Thank you -- and Producer Paul reminds me that Julia Roberts was also in "Satisfaction."

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Brooke Shields: You know, if Brooke had added a couple more inches to her Derby outfit, no one would be taking about it. It looks like it's 2 sizes too small - not that she doesn't fit in it, but that the waist is too high, the v neck too low and the hemline too high.

Liz Kelly: Dress too small, hat too big.

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Boston: Just want to say that "Ick. Nast" is my new quote of the summer. Stay classy, Jon's alleged's mistresses' brother!

(My other quote is "Stay out of it Nick Lachey!" thanks to the Soup. Do you watch it? I love it).

Liz Kelly: Yes. I watch and love.

And "Stay out of it, Nick Lachey" was classic.

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Ner,DO: Just throwing this out there, but Justine Batement played a hooker on Arrested Development who tried to pickup Jason Bateman's character and ended up being his sister. The episode was titled Family Ties. I think it was one of the last episodes of the show.

And yes, I'm already in line for the opening of the movie.

Liz Kelly: That must have been in the third season -- which Mr. Liz and I started watching, but soon stopped after we realized there had been a serious decline in quality. Does it get better again?

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Replacement: Easy: Minka Kelley - shes going to be in DC for a while now too!

washingtonpost.com: I'm not even sure she's the best looking woman on "Friday Night Lights." I'll take Mrs. Coach.

Liz Kelly: Okay.

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New Crush for Producer Paul: Miss California

washingtonpost.com: She is what an ex-roommate of mine referred to as "Dirty Hot."

Liz Kelly: What is this, Maxim online?

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Falls Church, Va.: I'm sorry but I just don't get the appeal of Jennifer Garner. She's not very pretty (the angular face, puffy lips, stick out ears.....maybe pretty for an average woman but not a movie star). And then starring in awful AWFUL movies like "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"...tell me, what's her appeal? Is she the luckiest woman on Earth to be so famous or what?

washingtonpost.com: For guys, I posit it begins with the post 2006 Super Bowl episode of "Alias" where she beat up a plane full of bad guys in her underwear.

She was the one in her underwear, to clarify.

Liz Kelly: I think she's attractive. She's not classically beautiful, but she's got an interesting angular face and she's in fab shape. Much like Hillary Swank.

And don't forget that in addition to "dirty hot," there's also what we dubbed "ugly pretty" a couple of years back. People who are somehow not all that attractive, but you crush on them for some unknown reason.

Vincent Gallo is one of these for me.

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Julia Roberts: So last night I was watching Green Day do American Idiot for VH1 Storytellers or whatever it's called, and at the end, there was a DMB video for a song called "Dreamgirl" and Julia Roberts was in it. (I may be wholly behind the times here, but I rarely watch "music" tv.) I just thought that was kind of weird, and doesn't she have better things to do?

Also, ever since I saw Dave Matthews play a gifted but retarded man on "House" I can't help but think of him in that role at all times.

Liz Kelly: That song and vid are a few years old, right?

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Just Curious: Why was the item about the passing of Stanley Tucci's wife in the "Rumor Mill" section of today's column? Seems he confirmed it to the NY Post.

Liz Kelly: The version I saw was not confirmed. And the only other place I could find the story was Contact Music, which was a direct pull of the NY Post blurb. Maybe they've since updated?

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Question for the ages: Liz, which one of your chats do you love the most? (almost as bad as asking which pet you love the most)

Liz Kelly: I love all of my chats equally, though for different reasons.

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Wanda Sykes for the White House Correspondants: Isn't that a little too obvious? Black president so we have to get a black comedian to MC? Having said that, she is hilarious.

Liz Kelly: I think you're reading a little too much into this. Carm down.

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Liz Kelly: Okay -- apologies, but I need to run to the loo before I switch gears for the "Lost" chat. See you here next week and in the blog tomorrow.

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