Celebritology Live: NY vs. NJ 'Housewives,' Hottest 'Trek'-ker?

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Liz Kelly
washingtonpost.com Celebritology Blogger
Thursday, May 21, 2009; 2:00 PM

Join Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

Celebritology Live Archive

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Liz Kelly: Afternoon. I want to say at the outset that I won't fault anyone who would rather sneak outside to take in some of this beautiful weather. We'll have plenty of weeks later this summer to sequester ourselves once the humidity sets in. For now, though, I say get while the getting's good.

For anyone who opts to stay, though -- lots to talk about. Have I been brainwashed by GOOP? Is "Real Housewives of New Jersey" the best thing on TV right now? And, tell me, did I really miss out by checking out of "Idol" this season? (Speaking of which, Lisa De Moraes is actually chatting about "Idol" right now, and because of our state-of-the-art Web site, you can actually follow both her chat and mine at once -- open another browser window. Like magic, it is!)

Let's get started...

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Arlington, Va.: So the rumor mill says that Jennifer Aniston is taking a break due to "exhaustion." Isn't that a euphemism for detox (see L. Lohan)?

Liz Kelly: Often it is, you're absolutely right.

But I just don't figure Jennifer Aniston, America's sweetheart, as an addictive personality. (Unless being addicted to talking about Brad Pitt every time she has a movie coming out counts.)

My guess is that she's either actually exhausted or otherwise mentally fatigued.

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San Diego: So, Liz, do you think there's any truth to the rumor about Katie Holmes seeking a separation from Mr. Controlling Hubby?

Liz Kelly: I haven't seen anything beyond a report in various online outlets that was sourced originally in Star Magazine. And when I say "sourced," I mean not attributed to anyone at all.

Time will tell, tho.

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Liz Kelly: Does anyone ever look at that Buzz Map thing on the right side of the chat page up above which, I think, tracks the relative popularity of words being typed into article comments?

I just glanced and the top line reads: coaching fetus firearm.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

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Tab Paps and Brooke Shields's Mother - Please Explain: Can you spell this one out for me? Photographers checked BS's mom out of a care facility - why? Color me confused.

Liz Kelly: Apparently to mine her for information about her famous daughter. Brooke's mom is apparently suffering from dementia and some opportunistic, yet seriously ethics-challenged, tabloid writer thought he or she could maybe score a cheap story.

Now, according to the National Enquirer, the "journalist" in question had actually known Brooke's mom for a decade. Which makes it even odder to read that she (Brooke's mom) was later found wandering around a nearby restaurant.

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Washington D.C.: "Lisa Rinna admits having lip injections." This just in . . . Pope admits to being Catholic, bear confesses to doing his business in the woods. Tape at eleven.

washingtonpost.com: I crush on hot celebs, Liz can be sarcastic...

Liz Kelly: Okay, okay... we all knew Rinna was engaged in some serious lip plumping. The news here (I love my job) is that she admitted to it.

That would be like Tom Cruise admitting he's--

Nevermind.

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Somewhere outside the Quatch Cave: Liz,

I was watching the video of your Lost Happy Hour last week and couldn't sake the notion that you resemble a celebrity. Only later did I identify your celebrity doppelganger: Seperated at Birth?

Interestingly, it's the facial expressions that caught my attention. You have several facial expressions in the Lost Happy Hour video that closely resemble those of the celebrity doppelganger. Also, it seems that the two of you are the same approximate age. Your celebrity doppelganger was born in late June 1971.

I have no opinion on whether this resemblance is good or bad. Perhaps Mister Liz can look at some of the doppelganger's pictures and videos, study her facial expressions, and determine whether she is your slightly older fraternal twin.

Liz Kelly: I don't know whether to be complimented or insulted. I'll let you know when I decide, Sas.

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Pregnant Pause: I thought that Buzz Map had to do with Michael Phelps for some reason and not coaching my fetus to use firearms -- glad you cleared that up.

Liz Kelly: Ahhhhhh, thank you. Mystery solved.

We could make a pretty fun Mad Lib game out of Buzz Map.

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Arlington, Va.: Maybe I've missed something the past few days, but why exactly is SJP's surrogate being threatened? I don't get it...

Liz Kelly: Here's what SJP said about the alleged threats:

"The most unsavory things have been done. She's had her phone hacked, her personal computer information hacked; she's had threats against her and true harassment...she's had friends threatened and family threatened, and she's had family of friends threatened."

I can't imagine why anyone would be interested in not only harassing her surrogate but the family of her surrogate's friends? Does not compute.

I also don't get why SJP is out there talking about it. It strikes me that her going public with it is only likely to exacerbate the situation.

_______________________

Goopy: I like it too. Hold me Liz. I'm scared.

Liz Kelly: Thanks for sharing. You're bravery is appreciated.

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Crazy as a Goose: What is the obsession celebrities like Britney and LiLo have with Marilyn Monroe ? I understand she was a uniquely American movie star and she did sctually change our society and it's views on sexuality but what gives with these young twits and their obsessiveness ?

Liz Kelly: Well, Marilyn is the female version of James Dean. And Elvis. She was a quintessential American icon, a sex pot and just a little bit dangerous. I can see where her mystique would be attractive to Brit and especially Lilo. It allows them to view their own bad decisions in a new light: Rather than seeing themselves as idiotically reckless they can see themselves as romantically reckless. As rebels.

Live fast, die young and all that.

I think Brit's grown out of that phase, though.

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Washington, D.C.: Why do entertainers announce the reason for the professional break, ie, exhaustion? If they're between projects, who's asking?? Only for that reason would I suspect there's more to it.

Liz Kelly: I'm guessing this was announced because Jen's not actually between projects. She is in the midst of shooting "The Baster" with Jason Bateman and her absence from the set or a suspension in production would have caused a lot of speculation had it not been preemptively explained.

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DC: Did you see Ann Curry's interview with Brad Pitt? This, in a nutshell, is why I change the channel every time her face pops up on my TV.

I know it was just the Today show, and I know it was just a showbiz interview, but Curry was such a shockingly hot mess that I actually started to feel sorry for Pitt, who was clearly uncomfortable. Then, after a second, I stopped feeling sorry because Pitt and Jolie have basically chosen ONE person that they will allow to interview them, and that one person is Curry, who purports to be a journalist but is actually an idiotically fawning sycophant.

Or maybe I'm just grumpy because I'm stuck in a government cube on this beautiful spring day.

washingtonpost.com:

Liz Kelly: I did see it -- in fact, I embedded it in this morning's Mix, even.

For anyone who hasn't seen it, the sickest sucking up starts around minute 5:25 and lasts for about two more minutes.

I have slowly come around to disliking Ann Curry intensely, too. She wasn't so bad when she was confined to merely reading the news, but when allowed to go off script she reveals herself to be kind of a dud. If I were the Today show I'd be somewhat embarrassed. I mean, they score Brad Pitt and Ann Curry wastes time asking him what it's like to be hot?

And I'm wondering if perhaps the friendship with Curry is more on Angelina's side than Brad's.

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The Surrogate: I get trying to peep at her email; there might be some over-the-top missives from SJP in there about what she should be eating, and what position she should be sleeping in.

But yea, "threatening" family of friends just seems over the top. Either there's just one nutjob doing it all and SJP is blowing it way out of proportion, or she's simply lying. Or being lied to. Maybe the surrogate is laying the groundwork to claim hazard pay!

Liz Kelly: Well, since we're throwing out completely random guesses I'm wondering if the potential harasser -- at least the one making threats -- is perhaps someone the surrogate knows. How else does it make sense that her friends/family are also being targeted?

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Baltimore: "That would be like Tom Cruise admitting he's..."

Short? Unable to fly a jet fighter? Not a hotshot professional barkeep?

Come on, which is it?

Liz Kelly: Ummmm... all of the above.

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Anonymous: Liz ; I think you made a huge mistake when you started calling producer Paul by his name. The seldom seen, quiet producers are best.

Liz Kelly: That's producer-ist. You're saying producers should be seen and not heard and, as a a card-carrying member of the vocal producer club, I protest.

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Mad as Hell: Liz : Can you explain to me why no one associated with the Oscar winning "Slumdog Millionaire" film is helping those poor kids who starred in the movie ? How is it possible that these kids could generate millions of dollars for Hollywood and not one person is saving them from the slums and now even their unlivable houses are being torn down too? Maybe the end of the world can't come soon enough ?

Liz Kelly: Around Oscar time there was a lot of coverage about how Danny Boyle and the "Slumdog" producers were setting up some kind of a trust to see to it that these kids were cared for and even hiring social workers to oversee their continued well-being.

But with two of the kids now homeless, it looks like they should take another look at where their money is going.

Here's what Rubina Ali's father said to the Times of India today about the promised assistance:

"The producers of Slumdog... promised Rubina a pucca house, but that hasn't happened. I don't know what to do."

But here's the other side of the story, as reported in the San Jose Mercury News:

"Slumdog" filmmakers say they've done their best to help the kids and their families. They set up a trust to ensure the children get proper homes, a good education and a nest egg when they finish high school. They also donated $747,500 to a charity to help slum kids in Mumbai. Producer Christian Colson has described the trust as substantial, but won't tell anyone how much it contains - not even the children's parents - for fear of making the youngsters vulnerable to exploitation.

Trustee Noshir Dadrawala told The Associated Press that the families were offered temporary rental apartments last week until permanent homes can be found, but they turned them down.

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Exhaustion: can be caused by pregnancy.

Liz Kelly: Now that's a stretch, don't you think?

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Burke, Va.: Is Orlando Bloom still alive?

Liz Kelly: Yes, and potentially engaged to girlfriend Miranda Kerr.

Also, according to IMDB, he's got five movies in various stages of production:

1. The Cross (2010) (pre-production)
2. The Red Circle (2009) (pre-production) (rumored) .... Corey
3. Main Street (2009) (post-production) .... Harris Parker
4. Sympathy for Delicious (2009) (post-production)
5. New York, I Love You (2009) (completed) .... David (segment "Shunji Iwai")
... aka New York, je t'aime (France: literal title)

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Crusin' for Cruise: And by the way at least Tom Cruise has kept his looks. Google Val Kilmer and get a look at how homely that dude has become and maybe you'll give Tom a break.

washingtonpost.com: Wait, I thought we wanted our celebs to pack on a few pounds and look like the rest of us?

Val Kilmer - Google Image Search

Liz Kelly: Well, there is a limit. Val has clearly gone a bit past healthy and is now in cholesterol watch territory.

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Star Trek: Have you seen it? Who's hotter--Kirk or Spock?

Liz Kelly: Haven't seen it yet. I'm running behind in my new movie watching. Just saw "State of Play" this weekend. And, speaking of plump, Russell Crowe did a great job -- though the whole thing about it being set at a D.C. newspaper was a bit distracting. Oh, that and Rachel McAdams's role as a spunky blogger.

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Crenshaw St. Animal Shelter; Southern LA: Not a celebrity offer, although I did serve Pink and Carey Hart at a restaurant...just want to shout out for the Crenshaw Animal shelter which has the highest euthanasia rate in Los Angeles. I have been blessed with a 3-year-old pit bull mix and a sweet kitten who grabbed me with his paws and stole my heart...he is now 3 years old. I hope people go to this shelter and fall in love with the sweet animals there. There are many animals there that will love you!

Always love your chats, Liz. Thank you.

Liz Kelly: Thanks for writing in and for telling us about Crewnshaw.

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Liz Kelly: Oh, but re "Star Trek" -- I have a feeling my pick would probably be John Cho.

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Falls Church, VA: Haven't celebrities been taking exhaustion breaks for decades? Didn't people used to check themselves in to a sanitarium when they needed a break? I'm basing this assumption purely on an annual viewing of "Holiday Inn."

Oh, and I love, love, love "Real Housewives of New Jersey." It is so deliciously trashy.

Liz Kelly: There was also a Betty Davis movie about some time spent in a posh sanitarium. I think it was "Now Voyager."

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Separated Twins: I don' think there's much to be said: Mary Kate Olson Totally Looks Like Ozzy Osbourne.

I must admit to it being weird seeing one of the Olsens (don't remember which) on "Weeds." Not exactly an award-winning performance, but it's odd to see one of them actually doing, y'know... work.

Liz Kelly: I love that pic. She looks like Ozzy, but also like some kind of troll/Janis Joplin cross.

Speaking of Olsen sightings, here's some relatively boring footage of a possibly tipsy Mary-Kate rocking out at a recent Pearl Jam concert. Nice moves.

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Bradley Cooper: I wanna like him because he's so hot, but when he plays sleazoid creatures ("Wedding Crashers" or "He's Just Not that Into You")it has such a scary ring of authenticity. And then there's the nano-second marriage to Jennifer Esposito. Sigh.

Liz Kelly: I asked Jen Chaney to pinch hit on this one since she spent some time with Bradley about a week ago. Here's what she has to say:

I understand the sleazoid concern, but remember those are *characters.* I interviewed him recently (video to appear on the site in very near future) and he was pretty cool, very laidback. He was also quite good at the movie memory game we played as part of the video. So, while it's impossible to know a person based on 30 minutes of spending time with him, I liked him. And, for the record, yes, he is as hot as a freshly lit bunsen burner.

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OH MY GOSH: The Orlando Bloom post just made me so happy. One of the best movies I've seen in a long time was "Paris, Je T'Aime." And they're making a New York version? Oh, I hope it lives up.

Liz Kelly: Happy to oblige.

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"Inglourious Basterds": Does NBC/Hulu not know how to spell, or was that done on purpose?

Liz Kelly: That is, in fact, the correct spelling.

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Cannes: Liz have you ever covered the Cannes film festival? Any interest in doing so?

washingtonpost.com: And, if so, you would need your trusty producer there with you, right? RIGHT?

Liz Kelly: No.
Yes.
Yes. Right after Mr. Liz.

_______________________

Drew Barrymore: Wow, what an outfit. I think she really likes that blue/green color. Remember that dress she wore to the Oscars (was it the Oscars?) and everyone was speculating she must be pregnant? Sometimes she just puts on a dreadful outfit. Maybe those are the times she does her own hair, makeup, and picks out her own clothes.

washingtonpost.com:

Liz Kelly: Did I overreact to that get-up?

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Leesburg, Va.: I discovered a new crush for Producer Paul last week...but now I forgot it. I apologize. If I remember, I'll let you know.

P.S. -- how pathetic is it that I was watching TV last week, saw someone, and thought "That's could be Producer Paul's new SarJo!" - because that's exactly what happened.

washingtonpost.com: The search continues.

Liz Kelly: Was it maybe that chick from "24" referenced above?

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Above the Apple Store: Liz, what do you think about folks who sell their stories to the tabloids? I'm thinking specifically of Kate (of the Jon + Kate = Hate fame) and her brother. Kate's brother and sister-in-law did an interview with some online news magazine where they basically aired all of the family's dirty laundry. And the mistress's brother also sold the story to the tabloids.

I think it's unfortunate that a brother would betray his sibling like this. But I can see the temptation. This one story may give him enough money to put his kids through college. And he may have been struggling financially while his sister was getting all sorts of fame and money for her 8 kids. This was his chance to grab some of the pie.

I'm not saying I would make the same choice. But I do feel sympathy for someone who may have been sitting on the sidelines and realized that he could get something out of this tabloid-industrial complex because the marketplace is foolish enough to pay for it.

On a lighter note, the "Real Housewives of NJ" are growing on me. Ironically, they seem more genuine.

Liz Kelly: I'm so over the whole Jon and Kate story. It seems that everyone involved thus far has revealed him or herself to be devoid of class. I've been trying to not include every incremental story about them in the blog in the hopes that it will all soon blow over.

So what do I think about people who sell their stories to the tabloids? Not much.

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NJ vs NY: So the NJ Housewives are better than the NY Housewives? When the season started I didn't think I could commit to a new set of Housewives. Should I reconsider?

Liz Kelly: Well, this is based on only having seen one episode so far -- but thus far, yes, this iteration is packed with way more drama and the women are just so over the top. Mr. Liz and I were watching last night and kept looking at each other like, "are you seeing this?"

They embody every single stereotype associated with Jersey women -- at least Northern Jersey women. Big hair, big nails, big Jersey accents and big money. One woman drops upwards of $20K -- IN CASH -- on some furniture. And they are just so coiffed and tanned and made up that they look like drag queens.

According to a promo for the upcoming season, things will only heat up with one of the women -- the sorta Luann lookalike -- being linked with a Colombian cartel and a prostitution ring.

Bravo hit the jackpot.

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washingtonpost.com: Now that "Lost" is over, I think you should transition to the "'Real Housewives' Hour" and really delve into the mysteries and subtext of the show.

washingtonpost.com: Now that "Lost" is over, I think you should transition to the "'Real Housewives' Hour" and really delve into the mysteries and subtext of the show.

Liz Kelly: I wish.

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Megan Fox: What do you and producer Paul think of her? I never saw Transformers, and yet I find myself more familiar with her anatomy than I would like, as she is plastered across every magazine her agent could manage. Does she have anything going for her besides unusual tattoos? It would totally make my day if there's a legitimate reason for me to dismiss her.

washingtonpost.com: I was an admirer for awhile, but then I realized she's like a real-life Jessica Rabbit. She's so cartoonishly sexy it's kind of silly.

Liz Kelly: There you go.

_______________________

Not John Cho: His was basically a bit part. Maybe he'll get more screen time in the next one.

I'm voting Spock, which is a complete surprise. Kirk was pretty cute, but Spock did amazing things with that one eyebrow.

Liz Kelly: But the question was about hotness, not screen time.

_______________________

Here is Drew: in that green dress.

Liz Kelly: Yeesh.

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Philadelphia: Hi. Do you ever get the sense that, between catering to the whims of the skeletal Angelina (nice dress at Cannes but she must weigh 95 lbs.!) and chasing after 6 kids on various continents, Brad Pitt has his hands full?

washingtonpost.com: Skeletal? Really?

Liz Kelly: She doesn't look skeletal in this pic, but I saw some shots this morning on the wires from different angles and her arms were looking pretty thin and ropy again -- reminiscent of her "Wanted" days.

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Now that's a stretch, don't you think? : Yes. But that's what the speculation would be if she didn't announce she was taking a break.

Liz Kelly: Ahh, okay. I thought you were implying that perhaps her exhaustion was caused by pregnancy.

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The Hills: I've never watched that show and yet Spencer and Heidi are EVERYWHERE! I want them to go away. He scares the bejebus out of me and she is just fake. Kathy Griffen skewered the heck out of them the other night on the Late, Late Show.

Liz Kelly: I missed that. Hopefully I can find a clip online.

Speaking of Speidi -- they'll also be part of the "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here" cast. Along with Lou Diamond Phillips.

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Spray-tan mystery: Do celebrities who have overdone the spray-tan (think Paris Hilton in the photo earlier this week, or Christina Aguilera, Donatella Versace or Valentino pretty much anytime) not look in the mirror or at photographs of themselves? How can they NOT realize they have really overdone it and are the color of Cheetos?

Liz Kelly: I'd always assumed it was a form of body dysmorphic disorder.

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Guys and Dolls: It seems to me that a lot of folks go out of their way to bash poor Tom Cruise but I'll bet more than half the chatters here wouldn't kick ole Tom out of bed ( hostess included ) even if he was wearing that silly eye patch from "Valkyrie"...

Liz Kelly: I know one girl who would.

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Washington, D.C.: I don't have time to watch the Lost HH video right now, but one of the guys you interviewed was really hot!!!!

washingtonpost.com: Post Bloggers Celebrate 'Lost' Finale With Fans - washingtonpost.com

Liz Kelly: Okay. Thanks!

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Jen's not actually between projects: Ah. I did not know that. And that's why we pay you the big bucks.

Liz Kelly: We?

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Bradley Cooper in the Bay Area: I saw him! Several months ago, I was at a medical appointment here in the Bay Area, and he was in the elevator as I left my doctor's office. It took me a couple of days to figure out exactly why I knew him, so I guess I'm a terrible celebrity snoop. And I was reluctant to invade his privacy by asking someone else to confirm what he was doing in a medical building in San Francisco.

Liz Kelly: Good on you.

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80's Drew: You did not overreact. The fug girls had a lovely, lovely post on that image: Whip Fug!

AND those rocking spandex: Drew Barrymore Archives.

She either needs fewer or more drugs.

Liz Kelly: Let's go with fewer.

_______________________

Buzz Map: Mine says bedroom Brian Moran. hmmmmm

Liz Kelly: I just refreshed and mine is now a variation on the earlier theme:

Fetus Firearm Handguns Health

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Frank TV Talk: Did no one at Bravo see what a train wreck that Isaac Mizrahi fashion show is ? I watched it once, fascinated because it was so boldly bad but could not stomach a second helping. Who can I write to to get all copies of that show burned ?

Liz Kelly: Ooh, I haven't watched yet. How is Kelly Rowland handling herself?

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NJ better than NY? Really?: I couldn't even stomach it. They're all related except for like 1 person, right? I need a chart to keep track of who's who - it seems like there are too many other family members in the mix, too. I thought ATL was pretty trashy, but NJ is just awful. I don't know that I can watch.

Liz Kelly: I guess I'm just a sucker for train wrecks.

Is it wrong that I'm hoping they shoot another "Real Housewives" iteration somewhere completely different, like say a trailer park in Dumfries? I would SO watch that.

_______________________

Wacko-Jacko Concert Postponents: Can we start taking odds/bets on how long he is going to put off those shows for mystery ailments? I say: they will never happen.

Liz Kelly: Sure.

My thinking is that at least one show will take place. But it will be a disaster of such horrific magnitude, it will send Jacko into self-imposed seclusion for the rest of his life where he'll have only his three anemic kids and his life-sized dolls to keep him company.

_______________________

washingtonpost.com: Craig Ferguson and Kathy Griffin PT1

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The hinterlands: I don't know if this is such a problem in the big city, but out here in the hinterlands we have female news readers on two network affiliates with "froggy" voices (like Gwyneth's mother, Blythe Danner). Evidently some people find this sexy, but it makes me want to yell at the screen for them to please clear their throats. We also have a female weather-forecaster with the Barbara Walters "w" speech impediment (chiwwy, bweezy, etc.). Is it just that we can't get decent announcers out here, or do you have the same problem in DC? Why can't (won't) stations consider good speaking voices a bona fide occupational requirement?

Liz Kelly: Really?

_______________________

Anonymous: Why have you been holding out on the Andy/Opie pix lately ? Cat got your tongue ?

Liz Kelly: I'm sorry! Not intentional... one sec.

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Make It Two.: No Cruise in my bed. Ack!

Liz Kelly: Two and counting...

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17th and M Streets: I would totally kick Tom Cruise out of bed. He, IMHO, is YUCK!

Liz Kelly: Three...

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Alexandria, Va.: Liz takes a swipe at Drew and lauds Gwynnie. The world as I thought I knew it is spiraling into an alternate-reality vortex.

BTW, I enjoyed the bit about Paris. What the heck is going on with all those goofy headbands? (Holding her cracked skull together?)

washingtonpost.com: No no, the next chat is the alternate-reality one.

Liz Kelly: Hey, a girl can change her mind.

And I do still love Drew, btw. Just not a fan of her fashion choices of late.

_______________________

Liz Kelly: As promised: Opie and Andy and Page.

Time for me to get Lost. See you back here next week at the same time!

_______________________

Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.


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