Celebritology Live: Spencer and Heidi; Recasting 'Three's Company'

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Liz Kelly
washingtonpost.com Celebritology Blogger
Thursday, June 4, 2009; 2:00 PM

Join Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

Celebritology Live Archive

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Liz Kelly: Afternoon -- I'm running a bit late this afternoon, but I am all over this hour like Heidi Montag on dry shampoo. Let's get started...

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Washington, D.C.: What's the latest chatter on Kal Penn's move to D.C.? Some people Twittered that they've seen him around town, and yet there's a news article that says he hasn't started yet.

Liz Kelly: He has definitely been in and out of town. He was here for the White House Easter Egg roll.

But despite the big announcement that he was leaving "House" (which he did -- and since his character was killed off I'm guessing a return ain't likely) for a position in the Obama White House, this article from The Wrap claims that his plans to move to D.C. and accept a position have stalled indefinitely.

Could this have something to do with the supposed third "Harold & Kumar" movie? Is Penn perhaps locked into a contract? Who knows? Unless and until we hear word from Kal saying he's not coming, I'm still revving up the welcome wagon.

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One Night in Bangkok: Did someone Kill Bill?

Liz Kelly: As far as I know there is no official cause of death, but Thai newspaper The Nation is reporting that Carradine was found hanged in his hotel room.

More details and a photo gallery here.

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Lakewood, Ohio: I've never watched "The Hills," but I'm well aware of Speidi...primarily through "Talk Soup," tabloids, etc. So I caught a few moments of their time on "I'm a Celebrity..." and I have to ask, are they really that shallow, unintelligent, clueless, and self-important on "The Hills," or was this just "acting" for "I'm a Celebrity?"

washingtonpost.com:

Liz Kelly: As many Celebritology readers know, I don't watch "The Hills." As I said earlier this week, I have my standards.

Anyone care to characterize Speidi as they appear on "The Hills?"

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Keith Carradi, NE: I can't stop thinking that his hanging wasn't....intentional....if you know what I mean.

He was in Thailand, after all...I feel horrible for even thinking about this.

Liz Kelly: It's David Carradine. Keith Carradine is alive and well and, as far as I know, nowhere near Thailand.

Oh, and ick nast.

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Jonas Bros lameness: Clearly Disney is trying to turn them into the new Monkees with the TV show. Maybe it will work -- but the "Single Ladies" video was waaay better when Timberlake and Co. did it on SNL.

Liz Kelly: Totally agreed -- couldn't he have done a Britney Spears impression? The guy didn't even try and he just comes off as creepy.

For anyone who hasn't yet had the pleasure, here's a link to Joe Jonas wearing a leotard and doing his best (ahem) impression of Beyonce singing "Single Ladies."

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Fairfax, Va.: The loss of Carradine is really getting to me, I fear. I was a young teenager when that whole "King Fu" craze started. Carradine was the coolest guy on television for a time. This is one of the nastier parts of becoming middle-aged, when the heroes of your youth (both real and imagined) start to die.

Liz Kelly: I know. First David Carradine and before you know it Larry from "Three's Company" is no longer with us. Then I won't be able to think about the Regal Beagle without getting all teary eyed.

Speaking of "Three's Company," I'm finding myself astounded that Hollywood hasn't tried to reboot this into a rom-com starring Jessica Simpson, Dane Cook and... hmmm, I'm spacing on who would fill out the Joyce DeWitt role.

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Odd couples: So what do we think about Jen and Macca? Friends? Friends with benefits? Spiritual advisers?

Liz Kelly: Well, we know Jen's single, but last I heard Paul was dating Nancy Shevell. Strange things have happened, though. For instance, Kate Hudson and A-Rod.

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Nosy Parker: Do you think that Oprah's bumping by Angelina on the Forbes List has to do with problems at Oprah's African school for girls, as compared with Angelina's UN work?

washingtonpost.com: Angelina Jolie Tops Forbes Most Powerful Celeb List

Liz Kelly: Nope. I think it has to do with Forbes trying to get a little buzz for their list. Oprah has topped it for the past few years so another win would likely have been met with a resounding snooze from us. Though I'm not exactly doing backflips over the Angie story.

If I cared I might wonder how they arrive at these seemingly random distinctions. Oprah made about $200 million more than Angie last year and some credit her with helping Barack Obama into the White House. Angie does good humanitarian work, but she is pretty subdued about it. It isn't as if she's saturating the airwaves with her opinions.

Any other nominees?

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Rosslyn, Va.: I'm thinking Zoey Deschanel in the Joyce DeWitt role. I think she could pull it off.

Liz Kelly: Hmmm. Really? Zooey is a bit challenged in the acting department, though she is cute as a button. What about Katy Perry in her first break out role?

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Joyce DeWitt: a) Lindsay Lohan

b) Kim Kardashian

c) Shannon Doherty

Liz Kelly: No no no!

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Three's Company: Not sure about Janet, but I say Kathy Griffin as Mrs. Roper.

Liz Kelly: Oh I love it. She'd be perfect. And for Mr. Roper -- mayhaps Andy Richter?

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Wait, I know this o, NE.: "I'm spacing on who would fill out the Joyce DeWitt role."

Who is Adam Lambert, Alex?

Liz Kelly: Oh, nail on head. You hitting.

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RE: Spiedi: In my opinion, Heidi is not as bright as Spencer. He understands how fame and infamy works in today's pop culture. My belief in this statement is reaffirmed every time I see or hear a reporter act like they are too cool to cover Spiedi, insist they don't want to cover Spiedi, but cover Spiedi anyway. If the "media" wanted them gone, the answer is not to cover them. Whatever their faults, Spiedi doesn't claim to be anything other than what they are. (I know the "media" are not a single-brained entity, but I didn't know how else to phrase it.)

Liz Kelly: Okay, here's one opinion.

And I have to say something about the perennial "If the media didn't cover them they wouldn't be famous" argument. News makers and news reporters have a synergistic relationship. One does not exist without the other.

I may (and do) think Heidi and Spencer are over-hyped brats, but since my job is to cover over-hyped brats I let you know when they marry, vacation in a Swine Flu zone or eat scorpions. Don't shoot the messenger.

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Boob Tube: What do you know about Daisy De La Hoya? (Other than she is Oscar's niece and was on "Rock of Love.")

Liz Kelly: Not much beyond the fact that she has lots of tattoos and collagen and silicone and fake hair.

According to Chickipedia (which is just too crass for words), she was actually born Vanessa Mossman and isn't actually Oscar De La Hoya's niece. I'll investigate more if you like.

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Kate Hudson & A-Rod: Could this possibly be the ultimate example of two wrongs making a right?

Liz Kelly: Time will tell. It's early days yet, though she has reportedly been following him from city to city.

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Most Powerful Celeb: Rush Limbaugh. (doesn't specify whether power is used for good or evil)

Liz Kelly: Should we limit ourselves to Hollywood variety celebs?

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Three's Company: Selma Blair?

Liz Kelly: That might could work.

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Eclectic tastes: Actually I was thinking while watching "Extra" that Kate Hudson should be given credit for not dating to type -- she's had a rock musician, a sensitive slacker and now a steroid-fueled jock in her romantic annals.

Liz Kelly: I read that sentence way too quickly and had a momentary ick nast reaction.

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washingtonpost.com: Liz has just directed me to this site: Chickipedia. Good night everyone, drive home safe, see you next week.

washingtonpost.com: Liz has just directed me to this site: Chickipedia. Good night everyone, drive home safe, see you next week.

Liz Kelly: Looks like we're on our own. Paul is otherwise occupied.

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Forbes list: I've a bone to pick with the Forbes people on their ranking of "powerful" actresses. Drew Barrymore at #83? I think she should be higher than Meryl Streep this year.

And, alas, no mention of Gwynneth or her GOOP.

Liz Kelly: That's a crime. Gwynnie has been hugely influential to me this year.

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Reston, Va.: David Carradine, worthy of a CNN Breaking News email?! Please help me understand....

Slow news week?

Liz Kelly: I'm thinking you must've missed the "Ashton Kutcher surpasses 1 million Twitter followers" CNN breaking news e-mail.

I do not think those words ("breaking news") mean what they think they mean.

Still, Carradine is a cult legend. Surely this is just as important, if not more, than Ashton's Twitter count.

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Boo to James Franco!: It is extremely crappy to drop out as a graduation speaker with days to go. If the speech really does interfere with his pre- production duties he should have known that a month ago when he accepted the gig. Now UCLA is in the lurch. Boo!

Liz Kelly: I think it was Gawker that reacted by asking if maybe Skeet Ullrich is available.

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Heincer...: Spencer may come off as "smarter" than Heidi, but without her, he's...well...he's

Nick Lachey, that's what he is.

Liz Kelly: Right. He's nowhere without Heidi.

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eplawyer: Seriously, Angie is not saturating the airwaves with her opinions? Only because having her own talk show would require staying in one place for more than five minutes.

You had to go there didn't you Queen Liz?

Liz Kelly: Oh carm down.

What I was trying to say is that she could give more interviews if she so chose. Instead, she keeps herself sequestered from most press -- only occasionally deigning to give a few minutes to Ann Curry or pen an Op-Ed piece. I'm not sure that amounts to much influencing.

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Jonas Bros: Wow: WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? Stupid, cheesy, AND lazy? Who was this made for?

Liz Kelly: Tweener girls, who apparently like a non-threatening guy in a sexually ambiguous get-up. At least based on many of the comments on the YouTube video.

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Three's Company: "Lost's" Michael Emerson as Mr. Furley... think about it!!

washingtonpost.com: Only if he either takes a beating or shocking murders someone every episode.

Liz Kelly: Well there would have to be some updating done to the story. I was thinking maybe a Charlie Kaufman rewrite.

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Boston: This is the sixth week Jon and Kate have been on the cover of US Weekly! When will the madness stop? Does anyone really care anymore?

Liz Kelly: I'm guessing TLC is seeing the 5 million viewers that tuned in for Monday's episode as still caring.

But, yes, Us Weekly needs to stop. That is big time overkill. It would be like if I got stuck on detailing the minutiae of Britney Spears's breakdown a couple of years ago.

Oh wait...

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Newbie here: I'm fairly new to this chat (but am obsessed with The Lost Hour - how much longer til it comes back on???) Anyhoo, what is GOOP? I've been trying to figure it out and it boggles me mind. And where does "ick nast" originate from? Is it just a Lizism?

washingtonpost.com: This is GOOP

Liz Kelly: GOOP is Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle advice site/newsletter.

The "Lost" Hour will resume later this month when we start our rewatch of seasons 1 and 2.

Ick Nast originated in the comments section of the blog, but I can't recall what it was originally referencing.

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Houston, Texas: I am so with you on "I'm a Celebrity." I generally don't watch anything with Heincer, but couldn't resist the other night. Only caught bits and pieces, but had to turn it off - I finally figured out Spencer - he's like the guy in high school that was super annoying who ALWAYS had to be the center of attention. He had a low self-esteem and to make up for it, he had to be "that guy" and always be the center of attention - be it telling jokes, being mean, etc.

I couldn't' take it and then turned it off. Watched again last night (there was NOTHING on) - and actually found myself hysterically laughing at the "celebrities" screaming as they were being bitten by rats, crawled on by spiders, etc.

That said, Heincer may be back - then I'm gone. I cannot figure out their deal - this whole we quit, we don't thing - just for the publicity? It must have been planned to have people pretend to be them and get on a plane? And the whole Christian thing is so badly faked that it's too much - I'm sorry, but it's offensive to real Christians when you have them asking Jesus for things - um, okay, you lived in sin and spread rumors about your "best friend" and a sex tape.

Okay, rant over.

Liz Kelly: I couldn't agree more.

Why go to the trouble of putting decoys on a flight to L.A.? It's just silly. It's like Spencer is a diabolical idiot (opposite of a diabolical genius). I can just imagine him thinking that one up -- "Ooh, let's put my sister and pal on a plane to L.A. and they'll think we really quit, but then we'll come back."

Dude, who cares?

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NJ Housewives: OK Liz, I know you watch the Housewives. I have not as yet, but I just saw a commercial for the NJ version while zipping through "West Wing" on my DVR. Cocaine, Columbian cartel, all sorts of insanity! I just thought these were vapid women getting pedicures and talking $&%- about each other. What am I missing, and does it involve the DEA?

Liz Kelly: Oh you need to catch up -- I think the episodes may be available online. This cycle is way out of control. The NJ chicks make the NY ones look like the PTA.

Here's the latest on Danielle -- the one with the possible cocaine, cartel and prostitution-filled past -- from Gawker.

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Ready, OK: So can we have a contest to determine who designs the best "Ick. Nast." T-shirt on cafepress.com? Because I think I might need one.

Liz Kelly: That is a fab idea. I say go for it!

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Wow: I haven't watched a full episode of "Get Me Outta Here" (just the juicy, crying, water bottle slapping bits.) I had no idea this show was big enough to warrant TWO anchor people. Holy buckets.

Liz Kelly: Not just two anchor people, but it airs four nights a week. What's that all about? I could maybe take this in weekly doses, but every night is just toxic.

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Washington, D.C.: What, no mention of the Daniel Craig ice pops?

washingtonpost.com: Daniel Craig Ice Pops

Liz Kelly: I mentioned those in the blog earlier this week, but thanks to Paul (who apparently hasn't been totally distracted by Chickipedia) for the re-link.

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Re: Daisy: Please do investigate! Did she just randomly pick up on a stranger's last name? And why is Riki Rachtman her BFF all of a sudden?

Liz Kelly: Ummm, because VH1 is paying him to be her best friend.

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ick, nast: Came from the mouth of the brother of the woman who was allegedly having an affair with Jon Gosselin.

Yes, everything in Celebritology these days is at least 7 degrees from Jon Gosselin. He is our sun...we are merely the planets in his gravitational grasp....

washingtonpost.com: I've been informed it's also apparently possible that Jon Gosselin and I went to Indiana at the same time.

Liz Kelly: Oooh, does that mean Paul is Ick Nast?

And thanks for the provenance of the word. Now I remember... it was in the early days of the breaking Jon affair rumor oh so many weeks ago.

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Three's Company: Selma Blair?: YES! I love Selma Blair! She's sassy, smart aleck, cut, but low maintenance.

Liz Kelly: Another vote for Selma.

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Joyce DeWitt 2.0: Winona Ryder? She needs the work.

washingtonpost.com: How weird/disturbing is it that she was Spock's mom?

Liz Kelly: How weird/disturbing is it that both she and Christian Slater have signed on for a "Heathers" sequel?

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McLean, Va.: Am I the only person who doesn't get Sasha Baron Cohen? Loud, rude, and obnoxious isn't the same as funny. I equate him with Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, Jerry Lewis, and the like, with a little Benny Hill thrown in for good measure--and that's not a compliment. Maybe I just have an underdeveloped sense of bathroom-level humor.

washingtonpost.com:

Liz Kelly: What's not to get?

Actually, on second thought -- that bit from the MTV Movie Awards isn't actually all that funny. It doesn't at all capture the genius of Sasha Baron Cohen -- which is the ability to catch people completely unawares, often revealing some ugly truths about them.

Have you seen "Borat" or his old "Ali G" TV bits?

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Wausau, Wisc.: So why did they turn Holly and Will into research assistants in the "Land of the Lost" movie instead of kids as in the series? Does Will Ferrell have no family values or is it because there are bound to be lots of jokes about dinosaur poop?

Liz Kelly: Who knows? Maybe it gave them romantic possibilities that wouldn't have worked out had they been related.

Did anyone else catch the REAL "Land of the Lost" marathon on Memorial Day? Good times.

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Ick. Nast.: Will the Conde Nast folks sue us if we put this on a T-shirt?

Liz Kelly: Would one of the Celebritology legal counsel care to weigh in?

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Rockville, MD: Diabolical Idiot. Good one!

Liz Kelly: Thank you!

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Los Angeles: Cut James Franco some slack--I suspect the production conflicts are just an excuse. There has been a very vocal group of Seniors who objected to Franco giving the speech, as he is merely an actor. Not enough weight for their commencement. I think he got intimidated and decided it wasn't worth the trouble.

Liz Kelly: I had heard some grumblings about the choice of James Franco, as well. Can't please all of the people all of the time, I guess.

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Brad & Angie - yawn.: I find the B&A relationship speculation tiresome, but here's the thing - their rep's denial actually made me think something WAS up. After all, don't these A-listers ignore this type of wedding/pregnancy/breakup claptrap unless there is a grain of believeability in it?

Liz Kelly: Well, and keep in mind that the National Enquirer often has early scoop. The John Edwards love child comes to mind.

I'm not betting on this story yet, but they definitely made me think there might be some serious chinks in the Brangelina armor.

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Land of the Lost: "Did anyone else catch the REAL 'Land of the Lost' marathon on Memorial Day? Good times."

And it's going again today! I set my DVR to catch all the episodes I had missed on Memorial Day.

Did you catch the Sid & Marty Krofft chat? They said the original title was actually going to be "Lost," before they added to it.

Liz Kelly: I didn't see that, maybe Producer Paul can link to the transcript?

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Lancaster, Pa.: Sorry, but I haven't been able to resist all the bikini shots of Kate that are on the Web as a result of her little trip to NC with the kids and the bodyguard. Breast implants? Yes? No?

washingtonpost.com: Top 10 Kate Gosselin Bikini Pics

Liz Kelly: I wouldn't rule it out. We know she had a tummy tuck.

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Possum Island: Hi Liz! I have been really into Gofugyourself lately, so please tell me you are not into the denim romper and/or strapless harem pantsuit craze. I don't want to imagine you sitting in front of the computer wearing such a thing. Thank you. BTW, I am actually getting off Possum Island and moving to Snow Monkey Island! Hallelujah!

Liz Kelly: Nope, haven't worn a denim romper for about 33 years and strapless harem pantsuit? Nay.

Though I have been a bit tempted by the patio dress craze and earlier today started contemplating these shoes as part of my summer shoe rotation.

I asked a friend if maybe my perspective has been skewed by looking at celebs in ick nast get-ups all day long.

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ishkabibble: RE: manipulating fame, Spencer reminds me of the "under-qualified expert" role in action-adventure/horror movies. You the know, the person who claims to know all about Voodoo/Dinosaurs/Aliens, but their lack of ACTUAL understanding gets them squashed 30 minutes into the movie? That is Spencer. Except in his case, "squashed" is going to come in the shape of late night infomercials.

washingtonpost.com: Interesting...

Liz Kelly: But by that calculation shouldn't he have been squished like two years ago?

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washingtonpost.com: Talk 'Land of the Lost' With Sid and Marty Krofft

washingtonpost.com: Talk 'Land of the Lost' With Sid and Marty Krofft

Liz Kelly: Thanks Paul.

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I wouldn't rule it out. We know she had a tummy tuck. : Yeah, she did, but the said tummy held 6 babies at once. I know many formerly pregnant women who would tummy tucks if they could afford it.

Liz Kelly: I hear ya. Just saying we know she's not knife averse.

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Madison, WI: Hey Liz,

I was just at the gym watching MSNBC (well, and running) and they were showing clips of Obama touring the pyramids in Egypt. He was dressed all casual in a polo shirt and khakis and the first thing I noticed: flat-fronts! Phew. Just thought you would want to know.

Liz Kelly: Thank you for that important bit of White House news.

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Arlington, VA: Ick Nast, another rainy day. You know what would help?

Andy!

Liz Kelly: Did I already share this one with you guys?

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Do you know: Carolyn Hax? It just seems like the two of you are Yin and Yang.

Liz Kelly: I was Carolyn's producer for about five years.

So since I know that Carolyn is super smart, calm and has an amazing ability to analyze the world around her, what exactly is it you're saying about me, eh?

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Liz Kelly: Okay, that's it for today. I have to run to a meeting. See you back here next week and, of course, in the blog tomorrow!

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