Washington Sketch

Post columnist Dana Milbank serves as the capital's foremost critic of political theater in his Washington Sketch columns, videos and blog posts.

He was online Friday, June 5 at noon ET to take your questions and comments about the things politicians say -- and the absurd ways they find to say them.

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Dana Milbank:

Good afternoon. Or should I say Добрый день?

That's Russian, and it seems we best be learning that tongue right now because the czars have taken over. The crawl on my MSNBC screen this morning tells me the Obama administration is naming a "pay czar" to keep an eye on executive pay. The AP is out with a report headlined "Cameron Davis appointed as Great Lakes czar." And at a hearing this morning of the Joint Economic Committee, Rep. Michael Burgess (R-Texas) was heard to utter: "Perhaps Congress needs to appoint someone solely responsible for focusing the efforts on domestic economic issues," referring to such a person as "this new czar, this new czarina."

And this is on top of David Rothkopf's report in Foreign Policy in April reporting that "the Obama administration has by any reasonable reckoning passed the Romanov Dynasty in the production of czars."

Speaking of powerful leaders, the czar of multimedia, Chris Cillizza, and I are up with our first installment of "Mouthpiece Theater," our new video production.

You can see it here: Mouthpiece Theater

Quetions?

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Arlington, Va.: In today's paper, it was noted that Judge Sotomayor got very upset when she read briefs and discovered split infinitives. Have you ever split an infititive while in your briefs?

Dana Milbank:

To honestly answer your question, Arlington, would be to further degrade my already frayed reputation. And besides if I were going to actually split infinitives, I would be sure to carefully do so in boxers.

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Woodbridge, Va.: These "wise Latina" comments are stupid and meaningless, to say the least. I guess no one else has any wisdom except Latinas. Why doesn't Sotomayor stop beating around the bush and just say in plain English that she doesn't think much of white men?

I presume there were white men who helped her get through Princeton and Yale and in her professional career. I wonder how they like being dissed.

Dana Milbank: I take no offense, Woodbridge, but this is probably because I am a white male of only slightly above average intelligence.

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Keeping tabs: Has the factual level of your journalistic endeavor been elevated this week, after the ombudsman vented his spleen?

Dana Milbank:

Well, I would like to think so, but this would be speculative and that is not allowed. In my favor, I am trying to improve from a very low base.

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Raleigh, NC: When you are 72, do you want to go like David Carradine?

Dana Milbank:

It is a very sobering reminder that we should never, ever attempt to split infinitives in our briefs.

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Salinas, CA: So, Dana, is this the new drinking game?: With every mention of a new political "czar" or "czarina", we all take vodka shots?

Dana Milbank: Da. Pozhaluista.

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Why is it "czar": and not "tsar"?

Oh, laba diena and dzien dobry to you, kind sir.

Dana Milbank:

You are hereby appointed czar of Russian spelling.

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Washington D.C.: Wither Etch-E-Sketch?

Dana Milbank:

A fine question. It is not dead -- just resting. I have a very short attention span and I started working on the video this week and did a column that will hopefully run on the op-ed page this weekend. But I need to improve my consistency; I will consult with multimedia czar about the best way to do this.

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Tsar: Not to go all medieval on you, Dana, but czar means emperor, or someone on a level with the Roman CEO (comes from Caesar, like the salad). Whereas "Tsar" was the official title of the supreme ruler in Bulgaria Serbia, and Russia (until 1917).

Dana Milbank:

Я не знаю, там было так много специалистов из России там. Может быть, мы могли бы делать этого чата полностью на русском языке.

That says, "I had no idea there were so many Russia experts out there. Maybe we could do this chat entirely in Russian." At least according to Google translation that's what it says.

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Urban chickens: Is this a hot issue in Washington, as in many other fine U.S. communities? Why have you not written about this controversy yet?

Dana Milbank:

Thank you for bringing this important subject to my attention. (http://urbanchickens.org/)

My only hesitation is this would probably increase my chance of getting bird flu.

But, as we say in Russian, курицу в каждом дворе.

You can put that in Google translation if you like.

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Alexandria, Va.: Love Mouthpiece Theatre--but may I recommend a leopard print smoking jacket? You guys rock in animal prints. Seriously, though: most of the commentary about Sotomayor's wise Latina jump on the ethnicity, and not the sex. Why is the feminine angle--that women may be wiser than men--overlooked here?

washingtonpost.com: Mouthpiece Theater

Dana Milbank: Thank you for being one of the first viewers of Mouthpiece Theater. We'll get to work on the animal smoking jackets.

Mouthpiece Theater in Russian, by the way, is:

мундштук театр.

Your other point is a good one. Also, "Latina woman" is redundant. But, speaking as a male of average intelligence, I think it is uncontroversial to suggest that women have more of what the Russians call

серый вопрос.

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Nashville, TN: To whom does one go to complain about an Ombudsman? Who, by the way, looks terrible on his (high) horse.

Dana Milbank: Google translation tells me there are four definitions of ombudsman in Russian:

1. чиновник, рассматривающий жалобы граждан на государственные учреждения

2. омбудсмен

3. омбудсман

4. уполномоченный по рассмотрению жалоб

But I prefer to call him a боль в заднице. Look it up.

In answer to your question, I am the person to send your Ombudsman complaints to. Once I have received enough of them I will go downstairs and split his infinitives.

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Woodbridge, Va.: These "wise Latina" comments are stupid and meaningless: On the other hand, doubtless Woodbridge LOVED Alito's comment: "When I get a case about discrimination, I have to think about people in my own family who suffered discrimination because of their ethnic background or because of religion or because of gender. And I do take that into account."

Considering that Latin came from Italy, doesn't that make Alito Latino?

Dana Milbank: And Scalia, for that matter. I hadn't realized the court already has two "wise Latino men."

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Ballston, Va.: Dana --

I am trying hard not to snort out my turkey sandwith here.

You are a treasure. You put the "fun" back in "Friday" (Maybe in the Russian translation?)

Promise to never change.

Dana Milbank: This is problematic.

When I put in the phrase "Please do not snort out your turkey sandwich" into Google, it returns this:

Пожалуйста, не фыркать свой сэндвич из индейки.

But when I put that phrase in and translate it back to English, it comes back as: "Please do not spit your turkey sandwich."

So in Russia people evidently do not snort out turkey sandwiches, so I would advise that you be careful not to do so because we are now under the rule of czars.

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Gray what?: You said something about women having more of what's called ????? ??????. Unfortunately, what you wrote is "gray question"; the word ?????? can mean "matter," as in "a matter for discussion," but not the kind of matter you're thinking of.

But does it matter?

Dana Milbank:

I think we have discovered the flaw in Google translation. A friend of mine conducted a long-distance liaison with a fellow in Portugal who speaks no English, and she speaks no Portuguese. They conversed entirely though Google translation. The relationship did not last very long. I'm guessing some term of endearment was mistranslated.

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Concord N.H.: At what point will all these czar's need a czar for themselves. Who will czar the czars? Is this a media or White House construction?

Dana Milbank:

The word for the czar's czar in Russian is

Омбудсмен

or "ombudsman."

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Video: I suspect your training and your professional experience have been with the print media. What have you done to educate yourself adequately to produce video offerings? Watch MTV and YouTube? Consult with rock music impresarios? Look at old Edward R. Murrow shows?

Dana Milbank:

I have spent time as an apprentice to the masters at MSNBC and CNN. Now I am venturing out on my own (with multimedia czar Cillizza, of course) and I have traded in my orange hunting vest (MSNBC) and my Mexican poncho (CNN) for a caveman suit and a smoking jacket. This is progress.

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Re. Gray What?: All those Russian letters just look like question marks in boxes to me.

washingtonpost.com: Our CMS is not going to like this chat...

Dana Milbank:

I blame Google. For everything.

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Rusky expert: Actually, what Google gave you says "Russian specialists" as in "specialists from Russia," not "specialists about Russia." I will be complaining to the ombudsman shortly (not to be confused with "in my briefs").

Dana Milbank:

I trust he will be waiting for your email.

Well, thank you all for chatting today, or, as they say in Russian,

никогда не сопряженных глаголов в то время как ношение короткой белье.**

** Never conjugate verbs while wearing short underwear.

This has been a public service announcement.

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